Elogium famae inserviens: Jacci Etonensis, sive Gigantis; or, the praises of Jack of Eton, Commonly called Jack the Giant Collected into Latin and English Metre, after the Manner of Thomas Sternhold, John Hopkins, John Burton, and Others. To which is added a dissertation on the Burtonic Style. By a Master of Arts [i.e. William King] |
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THE PRAISES, &c. |
 | Elogium famae inserviens: Jacci Etonensis, sive Gigantis; or, the praises of Jack of Eton, Commonly called Jack the Giant |  |
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THE PRAISES, &c.
Argument.
Our rev'rend, learned Giant-Knight,With all his Eloquence and Might,
His own sweet Praise doth sing.
And then the Doctor he accuseth;
And most outrageously abuseth:
Wo! to thee wretched King!
1
Proper Elogiums how to pen,O Ned! to thee I'll shew:
For I alone of learned Men
This curious Art do know.
2
And next, to prove my Strength and Parts,My Judgment and my Sense;
Lo! I produce my keenest Darts,
And come to thy Defence.
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3
But let me tell the Reason, whyI do not now stand neuter:
You was my Pupil once, and I
At that Time was your Tutor.
4
And thus with me you claim relation,And are for tut'ring fit:
And you'll get Sense by Application,
Altho' you have no Wit.
5
And all shall see, tho' now you're fallen,By my Bons Mots I'll raise you:
And that fine Thing, I spake of Allen,
I'll borrow here to praise you.
6
Thus—Neddy you deserve a MitreMuch better than your Betters:
For, since you are a Letter-Writer,
You are a Man of Letters.
7
There publish'd was in London TownA wretched Pamphlet-Thing;
Which, tho' the Author be not known,
Some say, was wrote by King.
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8
And I affirm, it was his Book,Or at him I can't come:
And in that Book he hath mistook,
And quamvis put for quum.
9
As me you ever have admir'd,And know by all that past is,
What Stock of Learning I've acquir'd,
How elegant my Taste is;
10
That so well furnish'd is my Head,So honest is my Heart,
In truth it cannot well be said,
Which is the nobler Part;
11
That most sagacious is my Mind,To judge of all Things fit;
That I am gen'rous, courteous, kind,
Of Sapience full and Wit;
12
And, which with Pleasure I report,That I'm so nicely bred,
I could give Lessons to the Court,
And serve in C---t---l's Stead;
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13
That Latin Writers make me smile,For rival me can no Man,
Who am the only Judge of Style;
And mine is truly Roman:
14
Therefore great Blunders if I cite,You will not wonder surely;
For Hibernisms whoe'er doth write,
He writeth most impurely.
15
And what vile Hibernism, O say,Can fix so much Disgrace;
As when great Quum is forc'd away,
And Quamvis takes his place?
16
But lest too scurrilous I be,Since I must pour out Satire;
I'll bid my Mother speak for me,
I mean my Alma Mater.
17
And, O good Mother, tell this Varlet,That you disown him quite;
That he dishonour'd hath his Scarlet,
A rhyming, monkish Wight.
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18
Forsooth he would reputed beBoth Orator and Poet:
Poet nor Orator is He;
O Mother make him know it!
19
For as you ken what he'd be at,Be ever full of Strife:
And, when he brings forth any Brat,
O scorn to be Mid-Wife!
20
And now, good Mother, mind your Cue,And right or wrong accuse him:
Say all I dictate, false or true;
You never can abuse him.
21
A while therefore put off your Nature;Call him ten thousand Names;
And be loud-tongu'd, to grace your Satire,
As Billingsgate Fish-Dames.
22
Tell him, he now doth doat with Age,That he's a saucy Loon,
A wretched Stroller on a Stage,
An impudent Buffoon.
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23
O! Mother tell him, you do hate,And eke I hate them more,
All Writers, who appear so late,
All Men, who're past threescore.
24
As whilom, when I was at Bath,One Nash I there did sting:
For with him I had cause of Wrath
The same, as with this King.
25
For Nash did give me no Offence:But with a Wight to scold
We always have a just Pretence,
If he be waxen old.
26
Besides, that very Nash, (and thatMy Choler did excite,)
Tho' he be black, did wear a Hat,
Which was all over white.
27
And so this King in Oxford Town,As I before have said,
Tho' he be grey, doth wear a Gown,
Which is all over red.
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28
Proceed we, Mother, give a Stroke,Shall make the old Man shrug,
Call him ('tis Horace's own Joke)
An Out-Law and a Bug.
29
Say, wheresoe'er this Caitiff rules,The Youth must needs be bad;
For those, who are already Fools,
Pardie! he maketh mad.
30
Say, he doth bawl and brawl and bellow;That he's a Common Cryer;
That he's a wrangling factious Fellow,
A Rascal, Cheat and Lyar.
31
And tho' he gained hath some Tools,This never ought to move us:
He's only learned among Fools,
With us he's Homo novus.
32
Say, how the Rostrum he did fillWith Nonsense and with Froth,
Con-trary, Mother, to your Will;
Of this I'll take my Oath.
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Then note, how he did turn about,(For which I could half flea him)
And wink'd, and Neddy pointed out,
Altho' he could not see him.
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Now this you never must forgive:For what doth so provoke?
Or learned Folk so sorely grieve,
As to be made a Joke?
35
And now I'll second your Efforts,As Lumm doth second mine:
And gird with Names of divers sorts,
And so on yours refine.
36
But think not it proceeds (altho'So furiously I write,
And such hard Words on him bestow,)
From Envy or from Spite.
37
I know what's to my Seniors due,And shew them due Respect:
Can I, who have the Court in view,
My Manners e'er neglect?
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Besides, to prove I'm free from Passion,(As doth become my Coat,)
The Statute anent Defamation
Lo! Word for Word, I quote.
39
Yet, Mother, how shall I enrageThis stupid, senseless Prater,
When he is plac'd on Broughton's Stage,
And made a Gladiator?
40
And here again it doth come pat inTo call him low Declaimer,
A Writer of most barb'rous Latin,
A Fool, a base Defamer,
41
A turbulent and—How he'll look,Whilst I throw so much Dirt on!
And, when he shall have read my Book,
He'll dread the Name of B---rt---n.
42
And, by this Book, I make it plainOf Filth I have great Store;
And, if this Wretch shall write again,
I'll pour forth ten times more.
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For my whole Stock is fit for Use:In this I am no Bravo:
A stronger Compost I'll produce,
An heavy thick Octavo.
44
Thus, to adorn what Jack doth mean,And prove poor King undone;
(But let my Similies be clean,
Because they are my own)
45
When in Romance the Giant's near,A Dwarf proclaims by drumming:
And little Puppets first appear
To tell us, Punch is coming.
| Elogium famae inserviens: Jacci Etonensis, sive Gigantis; or, the praises of Jack of Eton, Commonly called Jack the Giant | |