News from both Universities Containing I. Mr. Cobb's Tripos Speech at Cambridge, with a Complete key inserted. II. The Brawny Priest: Or, the Captivity of the Nose. A Poem |
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NASUS PREHENSUS.
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NASUS PREHENSUS.
Imitated in English.
Oxon. Jan. 20. 1713/4
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Fat
Buphalus, his o'er-fed Paunch to ease,
And cure his burthensome Disease,
A Clyster-pipe he does prepare
To force the Way, and the stopt Passage clear.
And cure his burthensome Disease,
A Clyster-pipe he does prepare
To force the Way, and the stopt Passage clear.
The stately Collups of his Triple Chin
Majestick on his Breast did lean.
He was an Abbot you may guess,
By these sure Signs you cannot judge him less.
Majestick on his Breast did lean.
He was an Abbot you may guess,
By these sure Signs you cannot judge him less.
Naked he on his Bed-side prostrate lay,
And did his monstrous Loins display;
His Friends with Wonder all beheld
The mighty Breadth, resembling a huge Shield.
And did his monstrous Loins display;
His Friends with Wonder all beheld
The mighty Breadth, resembling a huge Shield.
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The Servant in one Hand the Engine brought;
The Bag was with warm Liquor fraught.
With th' other Hand he strove, in vain,
The double Mountain huge to part in twain.
The Bag was with warm Liquor fraught.
With th' other Hand he strove, in vain,
The double Mountain huge to part in twain.
For as he pull'd the Right-side Cheek away,
The Left bore down with heavy Sway;
With vain Efforts he lab'ring strove,
The mighty Hills still close together clove.
The Left bore down with heavy Sway;
With vain Efforts he lab'ring strove,
The mighty Hills still close together clove.
Two Brethren strait are summon'd to the Place,
The poor laborious Slave to ease,
And to assist with pious Care,
To ope the fleshy Doors, which still adhere.
The poor laborious Slave to ease,
And to assist with pious Care,
To ope the fleshy Doors, which still adhere.
No sooner call'd, but see they both appear,
With Strength united both prepare
To assist; then each Man takes a Cheek;
They part, and shew a Hole profoundly deep.
With Strength united both prepare
To assist; then each Man takes a Cheek;
They part, and shew a Hole profoundly deep.
I'th' midst the Man apply'd his Instrument,
And his Face still nearer bent,
To view the vast Profundity.
(Things yet were carried well enough we see.)
And his Face still nearer bent,
To view the vast Profundity.
(Things yet were carried well enough we see.)
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When lo! a sudden Laughter seiz'd the Holy Pair,
(At such a Jest who could forbear?)
Each Man let go his slipp'ry Hold,
And with Elastick Force the Doors upfold.
(At such a Jest who could forbear?)
Each Man let go his slipp'ry Hold,
And with Elastick Force the Doors upfold.
While the poor careful Servant there applies
His Instrument with busy Eyes,
His Nose was caught, and stuck so fast,
That 'twas with much ado got out at last.
His Instrument with busy Eyes,
His Nose was caught, and stuck so fast,
That 'twas with much ado got out at last.
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