University of Virginia Library

Τεχνηπολομαγαμια:

OR, The Marriage of Arms and Arts, &c.

Now! are ye not all Infidels that thought
The long-expected Act would come to nought?
As if Mars still were Heathen, had to doe
With Venus, and not with Minerva too:
As if such termes as these were opposite,
The Sword and th'Word, Attlas and th'Stagirite;
Termes meerly Identicall, by Grammer Law,
S suæ Protestatis littera;
So Ars and Mars by an Aphæresis
Become the very same, (shake hands and kisse;)
As if the Gowne were aw'd by the Commander
Or Aristotle at odds with Alexander;
As if the Snake about the knowledge Tree
Still had his Sting, still his Malignity.
Arts now and Armes United, their Protector
Is no fictitious George, but Reall Hector.
In him old Authors all doe acquiesce
(Unlesse Don Scotus be againe i'th' presse)
But Zanchius, Dan Sennert: and all the Maps
May chink within their Chaine nor feare Mishaps;
Euclid was never in esteeme more high
Since

Luc. Flo. li. 1.

Romulus began to fortifie;
When he (the Proto-Leveller) had thrown
(Impregnable!) three mole hills into one.
But misty Scotus speaks as far from True
As Bonnet from Square-caps, as Black from Blew;
Or Case from Fiddle, as a Groome or Page
From high and Mighty Bajasets i'th' Cage.
Hee's knotty and obscure, (so fare him well)
An other speaks more in a syllable;
It could not sink of late into our thoughts
Will: Cartwright would goe off for 13. groats;
Since whom 'twas blaz'd that Pegasus was dead
O'th' staggers, or a Dyzinesse i'th' Head,
But since his hoofe was pick't and par'd, 'tis found,
He sets his foot more firmely on the ground.
Judgements the Traytor, Phant'sie is allow'd,
Shees above all, but never in a Clowd;
Or if she be obfuscate, Phœbus will
Enlighten her, and sometimes guide the Quill;
But where the Clowd upon the Brow appeares,
The Bitten Lipp, the blewnesse of the Eares;
Starting and gazing North in stead of East,
These are the Characters, beware the beast.
But Poets, (poore May blossomes) know not how
To be disloyall, or to knit the Brow;
If they offend 'tis on some pleasing theames
(I hope no arraigning Phantsie for her Dreams,)
They never hold up hands but when they see
Lex Talionis, or some Prodigie:
They have no Iron-mittons, socks indeed
Or Buskins they can lend you for a need;
But heer's no Rollo, no pale Umbra—No,
Others have had too much of that, and so
This leads me to the Act, where doth appeare
A Jubile in th'one and fiftieth yeare.
Roome then; but yet no Amphitheater
(The Caledonian Bore may fight elsewhere;)
No Captaine Otto with Bull Beare and Horse,
Or what may fright the female gender worse:
No Melancholly scene of Dumpish Love
Brought in a Maze, or Cupid from above:
No Porcupine, no Dancing on the Rope,
No nipping Cardinall, or cramping Pope:
No Roscius, no Taylor on the stage,
No Cane, nor Timothy (to please the Page)
Though none of these, though playes are out of date
And exits formidable grown of late;
Though neither Mimick fond, nor satyr rough
To make the Maddam leave behind her Muff;
Yet somewhat was presented by the Arts
Of higher Nature, and as many

π[]τασις. επιτασις. κατασ[]φη.

Parts
Besides Trojani Ludi and Florales,
And (to prevent ill luck)

Liv. li. 5. Dec. 3

Apollinares;
And you'l confesse this Rolling eye so cleare,
More spectacles had beene Pleonasmes here.
Now for a stand 5. crownes,—the Devill is
O're Lincolne—Brazen nose is not amisse;
Jove's

Semele.

Phænix, and our Brother Phaeton
Forbid too neer approaches to the Sun.
Break out the worlds bright Eye! see how they muster
Like Autumne grapes in one entire Ripe Cluster!
Their full-fraught Sable Gownes so large and wide
Demonstrate they can Sayle 'gainst winde and Tide.
Thus Zephyrus brings his offering, that the sweat
Of either fex added to July's heat
(Corrected) might such Atoms get, such Men,
(By Plato's rule) as Oedipus agen.
Wee'l side with him in this, (nor care who know it)
So hee'l allow the Common-wealth a Poet.
(The Musick-Lecturer if he had put on
All his Platonick Ladies, they had got one.)
Those Vestall Virgins that came up to light
Their fire extinct at Phœbus ere 'twas night,
Here I could break Times hower-glasse that run
The day away before it was begun.
Some say, Sol took fresh horses that could fly,
And that he borrow'd two of

The Oxford Carrier.

Edgerly:
When shining in his face, he got's good will,
(And then young Hercules he call'd him still)
And told him if deny'd, he'd make him passe
For th'Sarazan through a Multiplying-glasse:
And so, by consequence, against his will,
Be th'

The Sarazans head his Inne.

Signe and Carrier too upon Snow-hill.
Help here ye water-Nymphs, and give a word
With glosse enough to set out Oxen-ford;
Would I were now i'th' sell with Timon, he
Once out of Athens had his Privacy;
But O the Dinne! now-now-that Rampant hum
Has put me cleane by an Exordium;
Where shall I now begin, or rally up
The scattered nine, unlesse I had a Cup
Of Helicon—'tis so—well thought upon,
Ile steal to Aristotles Well alone,
And find 'um there—hold, Father—Ile ha'none,
—No Suger—keepe the horne to for—
—A Synagogue here to!—would I were i'th' stocks
At Heddenton, for here my Tinder-box
Is not a place secure enough to keepe
Its anxious Master from the vulgar peepe.
This Act—(I'le rest my Grandsiers bones if I
Am not distracted into Drollery,
And know not how to help it) I say this Act
Was well perform'd de Jure and de fact;
No Muse assizes here, (nequam eget)
Hark! th'Eccho prompts the Malefactor, Legit.
Here's Munus, but no Bustuarii, (Tricks,
O'th' Romans that would fight th'condemn'd to Styx)
By Inspiration of this very place
He finds his Neck verse, and an Act of Grace.
Free grace (as some will have it) but the wise
Allow (though not o'th' Ropes) yet Exercise.