 | [Poems in two Parts] |  |
Doubt 8.
From want of Growth.
SOUL.Where grace is true, it thrives. The rising Sun
Doth with a swift incessant motion run,
Until he reacheth the Meridian.
At last the tender Infant is a man.
Thus 'tis in nature, thus in grace; the way
of just men shineth to the perfect day.
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Add grace to grace till they a fulness know.
From strength to strength they do advance, until
They before God appear in Zion-hill.
They flourish in his holy Courts, and do
Improve in youth, and in their old age too.
The outward man is subject to decay,
But th' inward man's renewed day by day.
So should it be with me, who sit and feed
At a full table, where I nothing need.
Yet though I keep my meals, and eat my fill,
There's cause to cry, Ah Lord, my leanness still!
I have the Sun-shine, and the fat'ning rain
Of Gospel-Doctrine, but yet nothing gain.
I suck the flowers of truth, thereby to thrive,
Yet carry little honey to my Hive.
Others began since me with Heaven to trade,
Better advantage yet by far have made.
When I my spiritual strength or stock do trie,
I do at first weakness and wants espie.
Look what an one I was sometime ago,
Just such I am; my Stature's very low.
My hand of faith yet trembles, and mine eye
Sees very dim, the Gospel mysterie
I can scarce peep into; my love is chill.
My patience hardly brooketh any ill,
My zeal for God is cold. Flat my desire.
My heart is ice, which should be all on fire.
Thus it was formerly, thus it is now,
I am but what I was, and do not grow
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I am not what to others I appear.
FAITH.
It is not always safe from present sense
To judg of thy condition, for from hence
Thousands upon mistakes have fill'd with fears,
And cast away those comforts which were theirs.
Thou dost deny thy growth in grace; dost know
For certain thine estate some years ago?
If thou reflect only on yesterday,
Or a month since, 'tis plain, thy progress may
Be wholly undiscern'd; look further back,
Look curiously, and so what thou dost lack
For evidence of growth, thou mai'st discover,
Whereby the present trouble will go over.
Thou dost not see the motion of the Sun,
Though in a day thousands of miles he run.
Thy childrens growth, thy plants increase may be
Hid for a time, and not perceiv'd by thee.
Bread daily thou dost eat, and yet assoon
As dinner's past, know'st not what good is done.
Thereby thou nourisht art, and strength hast got,
Although immediately thou feel'st it not.
A Tradesman doth his Calling follow hard,
Yet cannot tell his gain till afterward.
Wares he buys in, and sells them out again,
Others he doth supply, himself maintain;
But scarce can tell whether he get or waste,
Until at the years end he comes to cast
His shop-books up; which being done, he can
Make it appear, he is a better man
Than last year left him. He with joy hath found,
There's added to his weight an hundred pound.
So if thou wilt consider what thou wast
In spiritual strength and stature some years past,
Thou't find the babe in Christ is grown a man,
And to thy graces great addition.
Only consider wisely, and compare
With faithfulness things past, with things that are.
And thy attainments do thou not deny,
Because thou hast not all that's in thine eye.
To judg of thy condition, for from hence
Thousands upon mistakes have fill'd with fears,
And cast away those comforts which were theirs.
Thou dost deny thy growth in grace; dost know
For certain thine estate some years ago?
If thou reflect only on yesterday,
Or a month since, 'tis plain, thy progress may
Be wholly undiscern'd; look further back,
Look curiously, and so what thou dost lack
For evidence of growth, thou mai'st discover,
Whereby the present trouble will go over.
Thou dost not see the motion of the Sun,
Though in a day thousands of miles he run.
Thy childrens growth, thy plants increase may be
Hid for a time, and not perceiv'd by thee.
Bread daily thou dost eat, and yet assoon
As dinner's past, know'st not what good is done.
Thereby thou nourisht art, and strength hast got,
Although immediately thou feel'st it not.
A Tradesman doth his Calling follow hard,
Yet cannot tell his gain till afterward.
Wares he buys in, and sells them out again,
Others he doth supply, himself maintain;
But scarce can tell whether he get or waste,
Until at the years end he comes to cast
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Make it appear, he is a better man
Than last year left him. He with joy hath found,
There's added to his weight an hundred pound.
So if thou wilt consider what thou wast
In spiritual strength and stature some years past,
Thou't find the babe in Christ is grown a man,
And to thy graces great addition.
Only consider wisely, and compare
With faithfulness things past, with things that are.
And thy attainments do thou not deny,
Because thou hast not all that's in thine eye.
Besides in nature are more ways than one
Of growing and increase. For when the Sun
Makes his approach in Spring, the plants do shoot,
And flourish upward, then again their root
On his withdrawing from them, spreads, and so
Now upward and anon downward they grow.
Both growths in season are, both needful be,
One graceth, t' other stablishes the tree.
Thus in the Christian; sometimes Faith improves
And makes advance; then the next turn is Loves,
Which riseth to a flame, from whence there springs
Raptures of joy. The soul then sits and sings,
The table now is spread, the cup runs o're,
In which it doth delight, and God adore;
Of him it makes its boast; th' affections
To Christ wax vehement; injections
From Satan cool, the Lion doth not roar.
Now evidences are clearer and more
For present grace, and everlasting bliss.
Most easie 'tis to see such growth as this.
But it's not thus with thee; well, don't despair,
Improvement now may be some other where.
Ricketty growth doth never please a mother,
She'd see it in all parts, both one and other.
And so would Christ, who to his holy race
Out of his sulness giveth grace for grace.
And influenceth each with dews and raies,
That so his people may be to his praise.
All this he doth not all at once, but yet
He doth it as in wisdom he sees fit.
Search then, yea dig, dig deep, so mai'st thou find
Those hidden treasures that will please thy mind.
In barren places oft rich Mines are found;
Gods workings are not seldom under ground.
Perhaps thou dost not feast it with delight,
But dost not feel a craving appetite?
Thou wants assurance of thy Father's heart;
But thou for this humbler in spirit art.
Thou at the spring of comforts dost not lie;
Yet now thou canst for Christ thy self deny.
Once thy affections were fonder far;
But at this day they more judicious are.
For sin thou weep'st not, as thou could'st before;
But now thou seest it worse, and hat'st it more.
Thou to more spiritual knowledg hast attain'd,
Much in experiences thou hast gain'd.
Art lower now than e're in thine own eyes,
Canst worldly Vanities much more despise
Than in thy younger time. Bless God for this,
He that grows thus, shall never do amiss.
Of growing and increase. For when the Sun
Makes his approach in Spring, the plants do shoot,
And flourish upward, then again their root
On his withdrawing from them, spreads, and so
Now upward and anon downward they grow.
Both growths in season are, both needful be,
One graceth, t' other stablishes the tree.
Thus in the Christian; sometimes Faith improves
And makes advance; then the next turn is Loves,
Which riseth to a flame, from whence there springs
Raptures of joy. The soul then sits and sings,
The table now is spread, the cup runs o're,
In which it doth delight, and God adore;
Of him it makes its boast; th' affections
To Christ wax vehement; injections
From Satan cool, the Lion doth not roar.
Now evidences are clearer and more
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Most easie 'tis to see such growth as this.
But it's not thus with thee; well, don't despair,
Improvement now may be some other where.
Ricketty growth doth never please a mother,
She'd see it in all parts, both one and other.
And so would Christ, who to his holy race
Out of his sulness giveth grace for grace.
And influenceth each with dews and raies,
That so his people may be to his praise.
All this he doth not all at once, but yet
He doth it as in wisdom he sees fit.
Search then, yea dig, dig deep, so mai'st thou find
Those hidden treasures that will please thy mind.
In barren places oft rich Mines are found;
Gods workings are not seldom under ground.
Perhaps thou dost not feast it with delight,
But dost not feel a craving appetite?
Thou wants assurance of thy Father's heart;
But thou for this humbler in spirit art.
Thou at the spring of comforts dost not lie;
Yet now thou canst for Christ thy self deny.
Once thy affections were fonder far;
But at this day they more judicious are.
For sin thou weep'st not, as thou could'st before;
But now thou seest it worse, and hat'st it more.
Thou to more spiritual knowledg hast attain'd,
Much in experiences thou hast gain'd.
Art lower now than e're in thine own eyes,
Canst worldly Vanities much more despise
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He that grows thus, shall never do amiss.
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