The letting of hvmovrs blood in the head-vaine With a new Moriffco, daunced by seauen Satyres, vpon the bottome of Diogines Tubbe [by Samuel Reynolds] |
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 | The letting of hvmovrs blood in the head-vaine |  |
EPIGRAMS.
[Mirth pleaseth some; to others ti's offence]
Mirth pleaseth some; to others ti's offence:Some wish t'haue follies tolde; some dislike that:
Some cōmend plaine conceites, some profound sence
And most would haue, themselues know not what.
Then he that would please all, and him selfe too,
Takes more in hand, then he is like to doo.
EPIG. 1.
[Monsieur Domingo is a skilfull man]
Monsieur
Domingo is a skilfull man,
For much experience he hath lately got,
Prouing more Phisick in an Alehouse can
Then may be found in any Vintners pot.
Beere he protestes is sodden and refin'd,
But this he speakes being single penny lyn'd.
For much experience he hath lately got,
Prouing more Phisick in an Alehouse can
Then may be found in any Vintners pot.
Beere he protestes is sodden and refin'd,
But this he speakes being single penny lyn'd.
For when his purse is swolne dut six-pence bigge
Why then he sweares; now by the Lorde I thinke
All Beere in Europe is not worth a figge.
A cuppe of Claret is the onely drinke.
And thus his praise from Beere to Wine doth goe
Euen as his Purse in pence doth ebbe and flowe.
Why then he sweares; now by the Lorde I thinke
All Beere in Europe is not worth a figge.
A cuppe of Claret is the onely drinke.
And thus his praise from Beere to Wine doth goe
Euen as his Purse in pence doth ebbe and flowe.
EPIG. 2. BOREAS.
Hang him base gull; Ile stabbe him by the Lord,If he presume to speake but halfe a word:
Ile paunch the villaine with my Rapiers poynt,
Or heaw him with my Fauchion ioynt by ioynt.
Through both his cheeks my Poniard he shal haue
Or Mince-pie-like Ile mangle out the slaue.
Aske who I am, you whorlon frise-gowne patch?
Call me before the Counstable or Watch?
Cannot a Captaine walke the Queenes high-way?
Swones, who de speake to? know ye villains, ha?
You drunken peslants, run's your tongs on wheeles?
Long you to see your guttes about your heeles?
Doest loue me Tym? let go my Rapier then,
Perswade me not from killing nine or ten:
I care no more to kill them in braue a do,
Then for to drinke a pipe of Trinedado.
My minde to patience neuer will restore-me,
Untill their blood do gush in streames before-me,
Thus doth Sir Launcelot in his drunken stagger,
Sweare, curse & raile, threaten, protest & swagger
But being next day to sober answere brought,
He's not the man can breede so base a thought.
EPIG. 3.
[When Thraso meets his friend, he sweares by God]
When Thraso meets his friend, he sweares by God,
Vnto his Chamber he shall welcome be:
Not that hee'le cloy him there with rost or sod,
Such vulgar diet with Cookes shops agree:
But hee'le present most kinde, exceeding franke,
The best Tabacco, that he euer dranke.
Vnto his Chamber he shall welcome be:
Not that hee'le cloy him there with rost or sod,
Such vulgar diet with Cookes shops agree:
But hee'le present most kinde, exceeding franke,
The best Tabacco, that he euer dranke.
Such as himselfe did make a voyage for,
And with his owne hands gatherd from the ground
All that which other fetch he doth abhor,
His, grew vpon an Iland neuer found,
Oh rare compound, a dying horse to choke,
Of English fier, and of India smoke.
And with his owne hands gatherd from the ground
All that which other fetch he doth abhor,
His, grew vpon an Iland neuer found,
Oh rare compound, a dying horse to choke,
Of English fier, and of India smoke.
EPIG. 4.
[Who seekes to please all men each way]
Who seekes to please all men each way,And not himselfe offende,
He may begin his worke to day,
But God knowes when hee'le end.
EPIG. 5.
[Alas Delfridus keepes his bed God knowes]
Alas Delfridus keepes his bed God knowes,
Which is a signe his worship's verie ill;
His griefe beyond the grounds of Phisicke goes,
No Doctor that comes neere it with his skill,
Yet doth he eate, drinke, talke, and sleepe profound
Seeming to all mens Iudgments healthfull sound.
Which is a signe his worship's verie ill;
His griefe beyond the grounds of Phisicke goes,
No Doctor that comes neere it with his skill,
Yet doth he eate, drinke, talke, and sleepe profound
Seeming to all mens Iudgments healthfull sound.
Then gesse the cause he thus to bed is drawne,
What? thinke you so; may such a hap procure it?
Well; faith tis true, his hose are out at pawne,
A Breetchlesse chaunce is come, he must indure it
His hose to Brokers Iayle committed are,
His singuler, and onely, Veluet paire.
What? thinke you so; may such a hap procure it?
Well; faith tis true, his hose are out at pawne,
A Breetchlesse chaunce is come, he must indure it
His hose to Brokers Iayle committed are,
His singuler, and onely, Veluet paire.
EPIG. 6.
[Diogines one day through Athens went]
Diogines one day through Athens went,With burning Torch in Sun-shine: his intent
Was (as he said) some honest man to finde:
For such were rare to meete, or he was blinde.
One late, might haue done wel like light t'haue got
That sought his wife; met her, and knew her not:
But stay, cry mercy, she had on her maske,
How could his eyes performe their spying taske?
T'is verie true, t'was hard for him to doo,
By Sunne, and Torch; let him take Lant-horne too.
EPIG. 7.
[Speake Gentlemen, what shall we do to day?]
Speake Gentlemen, what shall we do to day?
Drinke some braue health vpon the Dutch carous
Or shall we to the Globe and see a Play?
Or visit Shorditch for a bawdie house?
Lets call for Cardes or Dice, and haue a Game,
To sit thus idle, is both sinne and shame.
Drinke some braue health vpon the Dutch carous
Or shall we to the Globe and see a Play?
Or visit Shorditch for a bawdie house?
Lets call for Cardes or Dice, and haue a Game,
To sit thus idle, is both sinne and shame.
This speakes Sir Reuell, furnisht out with fashion,
From dish-crownd Hat, vnto the Shoo's square to
That haunts a Whore-house but for recreation,
Playes but at Dice to conny catch or so.
Drinkes drunke in kindnes, for good fellowship.
Or to Play goes but some Purse to nip.
From dish-crownd Hat, vnto the Shoo's square to
That haunts a Whore-house but for recreation,
Playes but at Dice to conny catch or so.
Drinkes drunke in kindnes, for good fellowship.
Or to Play goes but some Purse to nip.
EPIG. 8.
[Sir gall-Iade, is a Horse man e'ry day]
Sir gall-Iade, is a Horse man e'ry day,
His Bootes and Spurres and Legges do neuer part;
He rides a horse as passing cleane away,
As any that goes Tyburne-warde by cart.
Yet honestly he payes for hacknyes hyer,
But hang them Iades, he sell's them when they tire,
His Bootes and Spurres and Legges do neuer part;
He rides a horse as passing cleane away,
As any that goes Tyburne-warde by cart.
Yet honestly he payes for hacknyes hyer,
But hang them Iades, he sell's them when they tire,
He liues not like Diogines on Rootes,
But proues a Mince-pie guest vnto his Host.
He scornes to walke in Paules without his Bootes,
And scores his diet on the Vitlers post:
And when he knowes not where to haue his dinner
He fastes, and sweares, A glutton is a sinner.
But proues a Mince-pie guest vnto his Host.
He scornes to walke in Paules without his Bootes,
And scores his diet on the Vitlers post:
And when he knowes not where to haue his dinner
He fastes, and sweares, A glutton is a sinner.
EPIG. 9. Drudo.
This Gentleman hath serued long in Fraunce,
And is returned filthy full of French,
In single combat, being hurt by chaunce,
As he was closely foyling at a Wench:
Yet hot alarmes he hath endur'd good store,
But neuer in like pockie heate before.
And is returned filthy full of French,
In single combat, being hurt by chaunce,
As he was closely foyling at a Wench:
Yet hot alarmes he hath endur'd good store,
But neuer in like pockie heate before.
He had no sooner drawne and ventred ny-her,
Intending only but to haue a bout,
When she his Flaske and Touch-boxe set on fier,
And till this hower the burning is not out.
Iudge, was not valour in this Martiall wight,
That with a spit-fir Serpent so durst fight.
Intending only but to haue a bout,
When she his Flaske and Touch-boxe set on fier,
And till this hower the burning is not out.
Iudge, was not valour in this Martiall wight,
That with a spit-fir Serpent so durst fight.
EPIG. 10. In Meritricem.
Fayth Gentleman, you moue me to offence.In comming to me with vnchast pretence.
Haue I the lookes of a lasciuious Dame?
That you should deeme me fit for wantons game?
I am not she will take lustes sinne vpon her,
Ile rather die, then dimme chast glorious honor.
Tempt not mine eares; an grace of Christ I meane
To keepe my honest reputation cleane:
My hearing lets no such lewd sound come in,
My senses loath to surfet on sweet sinne,
Reuerse your minde, that goes from grace astray,
And God forgiue you, with my hart I pray.
The Gallant notes her words, obserues ner frowns,
Then drawes his purse, & lets her view his crowns,
Vowing that if her kindnes graunt him pleasure,
She shall be Mistris to command his treasure.
The stormes are calm'd, the gust is ouer-blowne,
And she replies with: Yours or not her owne.
Desiring him to censure for the best,
Twa's but her tricke to try if men do iest:
Her loue is lock'd where he may picke the truncke
Let Singer iudge if this be not a puncke.
EPIG. 11.
[Pollitique Peeter meetes his friend a shore]
Pollitique Peeter meetes his friend a shore,
That came from Seas but newly tother day:
And giues him French embracements by the score
Then folowes: Dicke, Hast made good voyage, say?
But hearing Richards shares be poore and sicke,
Peeter ha's haste, and cannot drinke with Dicke.
That came from Seas but newly tother day:
And giues him French embracements by the score
Then folowes: Dicke, Hast made good voyage, say?
But hearing Richards shares be poore and sicke,
Peeter ha's haste, and cannot drinke with Dicke.
Well, then he meetes an other Caualeere,
Whom he salutes about the Knees and Thighes:
welcome sweet Iames, now by the Lord what cheere
Ne're better Peeter, We haue got rich prize.
Come, come (sayes Peeter) eu'en a welcome quart,
For by my fayth, weele drinke before wee part:
Whom he salutes about the Knees and Thighes:
welcome sweet Iames, now by the Lord what cheere
Ne're better Peeter, We haue got rich prize.
Come, come (sayes Peeter) eu'en a welcome quart,
For by my fayth, weele drinke before wee part:
Or thus:
Fayth-we must drinke, that's flat, before we part.EPIG. 12.
[Fine Phillip comes vnto the Barbers shopp]
Fine Phillip comes vnto the Barbers shopp,
Wheer's nittie lockes must suffer reformation.
The Chayre and Cushion entertaine his sloppe:
The Barber craues to know his worships fashion.
His will is shauen; for his beard is thin,
It was so lately banish'd from his chinne.
Wheer's nittie lockes must suffer reformation.
The Chayre and Cushion entertaine his sloppe:
The Barber craues to know his worships fashion.
His will is shauen; for his beard is thin,
It was so lately banish'd from his chinne.
But shauing oft will helpe it, he doth hope,
And therefore for the smooth-face cut he calles:
Then, fie; these cloathes are washt with common sope.
Why dost thou vse such ordinary balles?
I scorne this common trimming like a Boore,
Yet with his hart he loues a common whoore.
And therefore for the smooth-face cut he calles:
Then, fie; these cloathes are washt with common sope.
Why dost thou vse such ordinary balles?
I scorne this common trimming like a Boore,
Yet with his hart he loues a common whoore.
EPIG. 13. Signieur Fantasticke.
I scorne to meete an enemie in fielde,
Except he be a Souldier: (by this light)
I likewise scorne, my reason for to yeelde:
Yea further, I do well nigh scorne to fight.
Moreouer, I do scorne to be so vaine,
To draw my Rapier, and put vp againe.
Except he be a Souldier: (by this light)
I likewise scorne, my reason for to yeelde:
Yea further, I do well nigh scorne to fight.
Moreouer, I do scorne to be so vaine,
To draw my Rapier, and put vp againe.
I eke do scorne to walke without my man,
Yea, and I scorne good morrow and good deane:
I also scorne to touch an Ale-house cann,
Thereto I scorne an ordinarie Queane.
Thus doth he scorne, disdainfull, proude, and grim,
All but the Foole onely, he scornes not him,
Yea, and I scorne good morrow and good deane:
I also scorne to touch an Ale-house cann,
Thereto I scorne an ordinarie Queane.
Thus doth he scorne, disdainfull, proude, and grim,
All but the Foole onely, he scornes not him,
EPIG. 14.
[Some do account it golden lucke]
Some do account it golden lucke,They may be Widdow-sped for mucke,
Boyes on whose chinnes no downe appeares,
Marry olde Croanes of threescore yeares:
But they are fooles to Widdowes cleaue,
Let them take that which Maydes do leaue.
EPIG. 15.
[Amorous Austin spendes much Balletting]
Amorous Austin spendes much Balletting,In rimeing Letters, and loue Sonnetting.
She that loues him, his Ynckehorne shall be paint her,
And with all Uenus tytles hee'le acquaint her:
Vowing she is a perfect Angell right,
When she by waight is many graines too light:
Nay all that do but touch her with the stone,
Will be depos'd that Angell she is none.
How can he proue her for an Angell then?
That proues her selfe a Diuell, tempting men,
And draweth many to the fierie pit,
Where they are burned for their en'tring it.
I know no cause wherefore he tearmes her so,
Vnlesse he meanes shee's one of them below,
Where Lucifer, chiefe Prince doth domineere:
If she be such, then good my hartes stand cleere,
Come not within the compasse of her flight,
For such as do, are haunted with a spright.
This Angell is not noted by her winges,
But by her tayle, as full of prickes and stinges.
And know this lustblind Louer's vaine is led,
To prayse his Diuell, in an Angels sted.
EPIG. 16.
[Gallus will haus no Barbour prune his beard]
Gallus will haus no Barbour prune his beard,Yet is his chin cleane shauen and vnh'ear'd.
How comes he trimmed, you may aske me than?
His Wenches do it with their warming-pan.
EPIG. 17.
[When Caualero Rake-hell is to rise]
When Caualero Rake-hell is to rise
Out of his bed, he capers light and heddy.
Then wounds he sweares: you arant whore he cries
Why what's the cause that breakfast is not reddy?
Can men feede like Camelions, on the ayre?
This is the manner of his morning prayer.
Out of his bed, he capers light and heddy.
Then wounds he sweares: you arant whore he cries
Why what's the cause that breakfast is not reddy?
Can men feede like Camelions, on the ayre?
This is the manner of his morning prayer.
Well, he sweares on, vntill his breakfast comes,
And then with teeth he falles to worke a pace:
Leauing his boy a banquet all of crummes.
Dispatch you Roague: my Rapier, thats his grace.
So foorth he walkes, his stomacke must goe shift,
To dine and suppe abroad, by deed of guift.
And then with teeth he falles to worke a pace:
Leauing his boy a banquet all of crummes.
Dispatch you Roague: my Rapier, thats his grace.
So foorth he walkes, his stomacke must goe shift,
To dine and suppe abroad, by deed of guift.
EPIG. 18.
[A wofull exclamation late I heard]
A wofull exclamation late I heard,Wherewith Tabacco takers may be feard:
One at the poynt with pipe and leafe to part,
Did vow Tabacco worse then death's blacke dart:
And prou'd it thus You know (quoth he) my friends
Death onely stabbes the hart, and so life endes:
But this same poyson, steeped India weede,
In head, hart, lunges, doth soote & copwebs breede.
With that he gasp'd, and breath'd out such a smoke
That all the standers by were like to choke.
EPIG. 19.
[Cacus would gladly drinke, but wants his purse]
Cacus would gladly drinke, but wants his purse,Nay wanteth money, which is ten times worse?
For as he vowes himselfe, he hath not seene
In three dayes space the picture of the Queene.
Yet if he meete a friend neare Tauerne signe,
Straight he intreates him take a pint of Wine?
For he will giue it, that he will, no nay.
What will he giue? the other leaue to pay.
He calleth: Boy, fill vs the tother quart,
I will bestow it euen with all my hart.
Then doth he diue into his sloppes profound,
Where not a poore Port-cullice can be found.
Meane while his frind discharges all the Wine:
Stay, stay (quoth he) or well, next shalbe mine.
EPIG. 20.
[Francke in name, and Francke by nature]
Francke in name, and Francke by nature,Frauncis is a most kind creature:
Her selfe hath suffered many a fall,
In striuing how to pleasurs all.
EPIG. 21.
[Soto can proue, such as are drunke by noone]
Soto can proue, such as are drunke by noone,Are long-liu'd men: the pox he can as soone.
Nay, heare his reason ere you do condemne,
And if you finde it foolish, hisse and hemme.
He sayes, Good blood is euen the life of man;
I graunt him that: (say you) well go-to than.
More drinke, the more good blood. O thats a lie;
The more you drinke, the sooner drunke, say I.
Now he protestes you do him mightie wrong,
Swearing a man in drinke, is three men strong:
And he will pawne his head against a pennie,
One right madd drunke, wil brawle and fight with anie.
Well, you reply that argument is weake,
How can a drunkard brawle, that cannot speake?
Or how can he vse weapon in his hand,
Which can not guide his feete to goe or stande?
Harke what an oath the drunken slaue doth sweare
He is a man by that, a man may heare.
And when you see him stagger, reele, and winke,
He is a man and more; I by this drinke.
EPIG. 22.
[When signeur Sacke & Suger drinke droun'd reeles]
When signeur Sacke & Suger drinke droun'd reeles,He vowes to heaw the spur's from's fellows heeles
When calling for a quart of Charnico,
Into a louing league they present grow:
Then instantly vpon a cuppe or twaine,
Out Poniards goe, and to the stabbe againe.
Frendes vpon that, they drinke and so imbrace:
Straight bandy Daggers at each others face.
This is the humour of a madd drunke foole,
In Tauerne pots that keepes his Fenceing-schole.
EPIG. 23.
[Cornutus was exceeding sicke and ill]
Cornutus was exceeding sicke and ill,
Pain'd as it seemed chiefly in his hed:
He cal'd his friends, meaning to make his will,
Who found him drunke, with hose & shooes a bed
To whom he sayd: Oh good my Maisters see,
Drinke with his dart hath all be stabbed me.
Pain'd as it seemed chiefly in his hed:
He cal'd his friends, meaning to make his will,
Who found him drunke, with hose & shooes a bed
To whom he sayd: Oh good my Maisters see,
Drinke with his dart hath all be stabbed me.
I here bequeath, if I do chaunce to die,
To you kinde friendes, and bon companions all,
A pound of good Tabacco, sweete and dry,
To drinke amongst you, at my funerall:
Besides, a barrell of the best strong Beere,
And Pickle-herrings, for to domineere.
To you kinde friendes, and bon companions all,
A pound of good Tabacco, sweete and dry,
To drinke amongst you, at my funerall:
Besides, a barrell of the best strong Beere,
And Pickle-herrings, for to domineere.
EPIG. 24.
[We men, in many faultes abound]
We men, in many faultes abound,But two in women can be found:
The worst that from their sex proceedes,
Is naught in wordes, and naught in deedes.
EPIG. 25.
[Bid me go sleepe? I scorne it with my heeles]
Bid me go sleepe? I scorne it with my heeles,
I know my selfe as good a man as thee.
Let go mine Arme I say, lead him that reeles.
I am a right good fellow; dost thou see?
I know what longes to drinking, and I can
Abuse my selfe as well as any man.
I know my selfe as good a man as thee.
Let go mine Arme I say, lead him that reeles.
I am a right good fellow; dost thou see?
I know what longes to drinking, and I can
Abuse my selfe as well as any man.
I care no more for twentie hundred pound,
(Before the Lord) then for a very straw.
Ile fight with any be aboue the ground.
Tut, tell not me whats what; I know the law.
Rapier and Dagger: hey, a kingly fight.
Ile now try falls with any, by this light.
(Before the Lord) then for a very straw.
Ile fight with any be aboue the ground.
Tut, tell not me whats what; I know the law.
Rapier and Dagger: hey, a kingly fight.
Ile now try falls with any, by this light.
EPIG. 26.
[Behold, a most accomplish'd Caualeere]
Behold, a most accomplish'd Caualeere,That the world's Ape of fashions doth appeare,
VValking the streetes, his humors to disclose,
In the French Doublet, and the Germane hose:
The Muffes cloake, Spanish Hat, Toledo blade.
Italian ruffe, a Shooe right Flemish made,
Like Lord of Misrule, where he comes hee'le reuel
And lie for wagers with the lying'st diuell.
Epig. 27.
[Aske Humors why a Feather he doth weare?]
Aske Humors why a Feather he doth weare?It is his humor (by the Lord) heele sweare.
Or what he doth with such a Horse-taile locke?
Or why vpon a Whoore he spendes his stocke?
He hath a Humor doth determine so.
Why in the stop-throate fashion doth he go,
With Scarfe about his necke? Hat without band?
It is his humor, sweete sir vnderstand.
What cause his Purse is so extreame distrest,
That often times t'is scarcely penny blest?
Onely a Humor: If you question why?
His tongue is nere vnfurnish'd with a lye:
It is his Humor too he doth protest.
Or why with Serjants he is so opprest,
That like to Ghostes they haunt him erie day?
A rascall Humor, doth not loue to pay.
Obiect, why Bootes and Spurres are still in season?
His Humor answeres; Humor is his reason.
If you perceiue his wittes in wetting shrunke,
It commeth of a humor, to be drunke
When you behold his lookes pale, thin, and poore,
Th'occasion is, his Humor, and a Whoore:
And euery thing that he doth vndertake,
It is a vaine, for sencelesse Humors sake.
EPIG. 28.
[Three high-way standers, hauing cros-lesse cursse]
Three high-way standers, hauing cros-lesse cursseDid greet my friend with, Sir giue vs your pursse,
Though he were true-man, they agreed in one:
For pursse & coyne betwixt them foure was none.
EPIG. 29.
[A Gentlewoman of the dealing trade]
A Gentlewoman of the dealing trade,Procur'd her owne sweete Picture to be made:
Which being done, she from her word did slippe,
And would not pay full due for workmanshippe.
The Painter swore she nere should haue it so,
She bade him keepe it, and away did go.
He chollericke, and mightie discontent,
Straight tooke his Pencell and to worke he went:
Making the Dogge she helde, a grim Cattes face,
And hung it in his shoppe to her disgrace,
Some of her friendes that saw it, to her went,
In iesting maner, asking what she ment,
To haue her picture hang where gazers swarme,
Holding a filthy Catte within her arme?
She in a shamefull heate in haste did hie,
The Painter to content and satisfie:
Right glad to giue a French Crowne for his paine
To turne her Catte into a Dogge againe.
EPIG. 30.
[When Tarlton clown'd it in a pleasant vaine]
When Tarlton clown'd it in a pleasant vaineWith conceites did good opinions gaine
Vpon the stage, his merry humours shop.
Clownes knew the Clowne, by his great clownish slop
But now th'are gull'd, for present fashion sayes,
Dicke Tarltons part, Gentlemens breeches plaies:
In euery streete where any Gallant goes,
The swagg'ring Sloppe, is Tarltons clownish hose.
EPIG. 31. To Lutius.
One newly practiz'd in Astronomie,
That neuer dealt in weather witt before:
Would scrape (forsooth) acquaintance of the skie.
And by his art, go knocke at heauen dore,
Meane while a Scholler in his studie slippes,
And taught his Wife skill in the Moones eclippes.
That neuer dealt in weather witt before:
Would scrape (forsooth) acquaintance of the skie.
And by his art, go knocke at heauen dore,
Meane while a Scholler in his studie slippes,
And taught his Wife skill in the Moones eclippes.
Next night that friend perswades him walke alone
Into the field, to gather starres that fell:
To mix them with Philosophers rare stone
That begets gold: he likt the motion well,
And went to watch, where starres dropt very thin,
But raine so shour'd, it wet his foole-case skin.
Into the field, to gather starres that fell:
To mix them with Philosophers rare stone
That begets gold: he likt the motion well,
And went to watch, where starres dropt very thin,
But raine so shour'd, it wet his foole-case skin.
EPIG. 32.
[What gallant's that whose oaths flie through mine eares?]
What gallant's that whose oaths flie through mine eares?How like a lord of Plutoes court he sweares
How braue in such a baudie house he fought,
How rich his emptie purse is outside wrought,
How Duchman-like he swallows down his drinke
How sweete he takes Tabacco till he stinke:
How loftie sprited he disdaines a Boore,
How faythfull harted he is to a ([OMITTED])
How cocke-taile proude he doth his head aduance
How rare his spurres do ring the morris-daunce.
Now I protest, by Mistris Susans fanne,
He and his boy, will make a proper man.
Epig. 33.
[Laugh good my Maisters, if you can intend it]
Laugh good my Maisters, if you can intend it,For yonder comes a Foole that will defend it:
Saw you a verier Asse in all your life,
That makes himselfe a pack-horse to his wife?
I would his nose where I could wish, were warme,
For carrying Pearle, so prettie vnder's arme.
Pearle his wiues dog, a pretty sweete-fac'd curre,
That barkes a nightes at the least fart doth sturre,
Is now not well, his cold is scarcely brooke,
Therefore good Hisband wrap him in thy cloake:
And sweet hart, preethee helpe me to my Maske,
Hold Pearle but tender, for he hath the laske.
Heere, take my Muffe: & do you heare good man?
Now giue me Pearle, and carry you my Fanne.
Alacke poore Pearle, the wretch is full of paine,
Hisband take Pearle, giue me my Fanne againe:
See how he quakes; fayth I am like to weepe:
Come to me Pearle; my Scarfe good his band keepe
To be with me I know my Puppie loues.
Why Pearle, I say: His band take vp my Gloues.
Thus goodman Idiot thinkes himselfe an Earle,
That he can please his wife, and carry Pearle:
But other iudge his state to be no higher,
Then a Dogges yeoman, or some pippin Squier.
EPIG. 34.
[What's he that sits and takes a nappe]
What's he that sits and takes a nappe,Fac'd like the North wind of a mappe:
And sleeping, to the wind doth nod?
Tis Bacchus coosen, Bellie-god.
EPIG. 35.
[Seucrus is extreame in elloquence]
Seucrus is extreame in elloquence,
In perfum'd wordes, plung'd ouer head and eares,
He doth create rare phrase, but rarer sence,
Fragments of Latine, all about he beares.
Vnto his Seruingman, alias his Boy,
He vtters speach exceeding quaint and coy.
In perfum'd wordes, plung'd ouer head and eares,
He doth create rare phrase, but rarer sence,
Fragments of Latine, all about he beares.
Vnto his Seruingman, alias his Boy,
He vtters speach exceeding quaint and coy.
Deminitiue, and my defectiue slaue,
Reach my corpes couerture immediately:
My pleasures pleasure is, the same to haue,
T'insconce my person from frigiditie.
His man beleeues all's Welch, his Maister spoke,
Till he railes English: Roage go fetch my cloke.
Reach my corpes couerture immediately:
My pleasures pleasure is, the same to haue,
T'insconce my person from frigiditie.
His man beleeues all's Welch, his Maister spoke,
Till he railes English: Roage go fetch my cloke.
EPIG. 36.
[Why should the Mercers trade, a Satten sute]
Why should the Mercers trade, a Satten sute,With Cookes grease be so wickedly polute?
The reason is, the scandall and defame
Grew, that a greasie slouen weares the same.
EPIG. 37.
[An honest Vicker and a kind consort]
An honest Vicker and a kind consort,That to the Alehouse friendly would resort,
To haue a game at Tables now and than,
Or drinke his pot as soone as any man.
As faire a gamster, and as free from braull,
As euer man should need to play withall:
Because his hostesse pldg'd him not carouse,
Rashly in choller did for sweare her house.
Taking the glasse, this was the oath he swore,
Now by this drinke, He nere come hither more
But mightely his Hostesse did repent,
For all her guestes to the next Alehouse went,
Following their Vickers steps in euery thing,
He led the parrish euen by a string.
At length his auncient Hostesse did complaine,
She was vndone, vnlesse he came againe,
Desiring certaine friendes of hers and his,
To vse a pollecie, which should be this:
Because with cōming he should not forsweare him,
To saue his oath, they on their backes might beare him
Of this good course the Vicker well did thinke,
And so they all waies carried him to drinke.
FINIS.
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