University of Virginia Library

XXVIII. A LOVE-MONSTER.

Behold a wonder such as hath not bene
From Pirrhus age vnto this present seene!
Six fingers, two heads, and such rarieties
Which sometyme haue been thought as prodigies
May passe as common things. No monster there
Compar'd with this which I about me beare.
Sporting with Calda as I oft before
Had done with her, and many of them more,
When in few dayes somthinge began t'appeare
The thought whereof amazèd me with feare.
I 'had thought that I 'had plundyred a sandy shore,
For what's more barren then a comon whore?
But now I see the signes, feele them and handle,
And know, alas, I 'am in for sope and candle.
But heer's the wonder, that noe Oedipus
Nor sphinx can ere vnryddle without vs.
The father and the mother are the same,
And I the agent both and patient am.
I gott the chyld and beare it, she is free,
The care of being delivered lyes in mee.
My belly swells and cannot be conceald,
The poyson is gone too farr to be heald.
All men that see me [do] faint, halt and shrinke,
Wonder to see't, but know not what to think.
Now is the tyme of my deliverance neare,
And now I labour betwixt hope and feare.
Hopinge ye best, yet euermore in doubt
How this Cæsarian bratt can be cut out.
A barber is my mydwife, and a knyfe
That cuts the infant's throat doth give it life.
One such a chance acruid to Jove, when hee
Slylie on earth stole secret leacherye.
When Vulcan launc't him and so drest ye sore
That from that tyme he never felt it more.
The chyld he Pallas call'd, because, quoth hee,
Hereafter I do meane wyser to bee.
So call I myne as aptly and as fytt,
For I'me resolvèd, myne shal teach me wytt.