University of Virginia Library

EPIGRAMS.

Ægrotans, nolens.

Could Bond the Scrivener find no time to come
To Sr. Iohn Opus, but on's physick day,
When he should take a purge? Hang him base scum,
Is that a time when men their debts should pay?
Goe tell the Scoundrell from Sr Iohn agen
His Worship leaues off purging none knows when.

Ferendo fortior.

Galla twice maried, is become much stronger,
And in her labours like to hold out longer,
Who by this new match makes the prouerb full,
She that hath borne a Calfe, beares now a Bull.

Fœlix donec.

While Turnus feasted, not a guest durst faile him
But being arested, not a guest durst bail him.

Fiat necesse.

Sextus hath sold his Coach and horses foure,
Wch needs must vnto Need be thoght th' induction
For of expence there prou'd none other power,
Besides, t'was that first drew him to destruction.

Verbum, summis.

Young Lelio left but sixpence in aduance,
That was to feast it at the Golden Fleece:
Comes to the Bar with brauing countenance,
Saying, Sirra Drawer, canst thou change a peece?
Or—since for siluer we are not so strong,
Scor't vp: Ile send it by my man-Tom Long.

Uerbosus scabiosus.

Marcus would needs maintain, Store was no sore
That had his fingers fraught wt scabs great store
To whom (quoth one) This proues you sir a lyer,
For too much store makes you a scuruy Squire.

Sublata causa, &c.

VVhy studies Siluester no more the Lawes?
Tis thoght Duck-lane has tane away ye cause

Peccans errans.

Monseur Patricius is to Venice gone,
What to do there think you? faith look vpon
The Walls and Buildings: not for any feare,
Vnlesse you'll vrge't t'was to saue hanging here.

Filia Grammaticalis.

No more need Pontus pawne his gown or cloak
His wiues best linnen, or her wedding ring;
Vnlesse the Deuill hath still the same forespoake,
As an ordain'd ineuitable thing.
For why? his daughter, past her Moods and Tenses,
(Comming to Possum) payes for all expences.

Grauida, intacta.

Bindo still beats his Maids beyond excesse,
All but this last and late-come little Besse,
Of whom it's wondred much how Bindo delt,
That she with child, his waight yet neuer felt:

Equitans-ambulans.

VVhy wears Wat one boot vp, another down?
Cause th' ones to ride whiles th' other staies in towne.

Dubius decipiens.

Ianus must iesting still equiuocate,
Which he alludes as doubtfull termes of art,
Being a custome he hath got of late,
But to the Devill he beares an honest heart.

Armatus, animosus.

When Lanus lights by chāce vpon some cheat,
And hath his pockets lin'd with least of chink
His stomacke then endures no common meat,
Or possibly digests your sodden drinke,
Till forst againe remoue towards the fields,
Finds no such victuals as his Alehouse yeelds.

Deridens deridendus.

If Lollus leaue not those his flowts and frumps,
Which haue so oft been worn euen to the stumps.
Let it not vex him if reuenge be such,
That others play vpon his wife as much.

Calvus incastus.

Not chaste nor secret Calvus? well take heed
Thou proue nor last a bald-pate knaue indeed.

Pulchra quæ vtilia.

Mercutio maruels what men meane, to buy
So many bookes of such diuersity;
When Almanacks (saith he) yeelds all the sense
Of times best profit, and experience.

Facies, forum.

Pvt case Penelope be poore descended,
Where find you such another more compares
For comelinesse, or is the like befriended,
With Knights and Gallants that bespeak her wares?
Shew me that Sempster if you ere haue seene her,
Hath had like takings for a young-beginner.

Charum Diuersorium.

Creta lets lodgings, but at such a rate
As may maintaine Mal, Su, Bess, Dol, and Kate,
Whom purposely she keeps in such a plight,
As may content best commers in at night.

Uerba vana.

Pru could content you, as fit time affords,
But to deale plain, she'l not be paid with words.

Inæquale Connubium.

Paulus is wedded to a wench, as pretty
As he himselfe is generous and witty:
But here's the ods, she'll trade, so will not he,
And that's it makes them so much disagree.

Moretrix mœsta.

Parnel complaines not halfe so much of wants,
As spitefull dealings late in publike knowne,
By Bridewell Beadles: slaues and Sycophants,
That durst so vex her, vsing but her owne;
When thousands more haue trod awry the shoo,
Alas poore whore, what would you haue her doe?

Maritus mitior.

Kind Kester carying Kate his wife behind him,
To post-salute her would oft backwards wind him:
Whereby the cockscombe might be thought more kind,
That he before should kisse her so behind.

Visum ignotum.

That Cambro's wife's wt child, her belly shows it,
But who was't got it? pray ask those ye knows it

Peccans culpans.

How bitter spake sir Tristram th' other day,
To George his mā that wēt (he thought) astray
Alledging, no such obiects could so wooe him:
True, for he has the gowt, his drab comes to him.

Signa super sunt.

Priscus giues out he hence to Prague is gone,
Vpon a wager of aduentrous chance:
But Priscus lurkes (more shame to think vpon)
With Kate his old comrague in Petty France:
Yet of his trauels meanes at large relate,
At least is sure to bring certificate.

Serio at non.

Dol with much dalliance must and wil dispense,
Dealing on matters deeper consequence.

Invita Senectus.

Old Dromo bids adieu to day delights,
Growne much decrepid; fitter far for nights:
Who forst must now his worne out limbs retire,
And volens-nolens feed but on desire.

Ebria fragilior.

VVho sayes Carina liues incontinent,
Or proues the least to such a busines bent:
Because she lodgings lets to Gentlemen
That may be iesting with her now and then?
Be it defiance to his very face,
Shall touch Carina in such kind of case.
Indeed if drunke a man will question that,
A woman then may doe she knowes nor what.

Duplex dubium.

Sislie 's with child she's sure, but knowes not whether
By her late husband, or this man, or neither.
Birlady wench th' adst need both doubt and feare,
For twixt them both the businesse did appeare.

Idonius Capistro.

Brutus denies his birth and parentage,
Growne vp a gallant iust at hanging age.

Debita desperata.

Questus hath tane vp more this last vacation,
In Mercers shops, then all his meanes amounts
Who being askt to pay, and in what fashion,
All he can say, is, Put it in accompts.

Chara Coniux.

Nicholas that purchast for his new wife Nan
A little Dog, a Squirrell, and a Fan,
Contents her not, but must haue (se invito)
A Muffe, a Munky, and a Parakito:
Which to defray, the foole perforce is drawne,
Although he lay the siluer spoone to pawne.

Breuius Dulcius.

Dacus endures not any long discourse,
which his impatience would too much inforce
The end or cloze aymes he at, good or ill,
All but the Tauerne and his Taylors bill.

Luxuria præcipua.

Kit cares not though his trechery be knowne,
So you'll but let his letchery alone.

Nesutor vltra.

Gorgonius brags what wonders he would doe,
Were but his purse halfe answerable to
His noble thoughts: Pish, prethee foole it lesse,
And follow on the trade thou dost professe.

Mouens mobilis.

VVhat art thou like (my Lidea) or whereto
Shall I compare thee, as I faine would do:
Vnto a Swan? a Lilly? or a Rose?
No, Lidea scornes to be compar'd to those:
Ile tell thee Lidea (so thou wilt not frowne)
Iust to an Houre-glasse that's still vp and downe.

Egenus Poeta.

Tassus writes verses vpon great mens praise,
And in that exercise spends most his dayes:
For whom you'll aske? That would be vnderstood.
Faith for whos'ere giues money to buy food.

Ius, iniuria.

Crassus of lands holds lawfull now possession:
True, got by law, but lost by much oppression.

Fortior, formidabilis.

Qvimetuit odit, doth the prouerb goe.
Which might of Caius carefull be debated,
If any durst but tell the Caitiffe so:
Pish hang him he'll be fear'd, though nere so hated.

Chara, vilis.

Priscilla sprung from pitch of highest top,
Scorning your proud late gallants to conuerse with,
Now lowly keeps a poore Tobacco shop,
For foot-boyes, grooms, & cullions to cōmerse with
But you must note she's poore and grown in yeares,
As by the rules of ragged times appeares.

Ægrotans fortior.

Cantus our Cobler being lately sicke,
One meeting him, desir'd to vnderstand
The cause of his disease: quoth he, a cricke
Hath pain'd me, but am now o'th mending hand.

Eques solis.

Bernard for boots with London coblers barters,
Which stād in stead of stockins, shoos, & garters

Obligatus alligatus.

Day break, and break of day, all one should be,
But tis not so with Ferdinand we see:
Who chancing thus of late to break his day,
Was all the cause why he in Ludgate lay.

Deteriora malis.

Dicke truly swore he was not drunke this week,
Chalkt not one penny vpon any score,
Playd not a game at Tables, Bowles, or Gleek,
No not a foot stept from his chamber doore:
Long of that scuruy Laundresse, so to deale,
As hauing but one shirt, she that must steale.

Viatores infœlitiores.

Scruto that skilfull-seeming man in arts,
And Traueller, twice all those countries bin in,
Would any creature iudge one of his parts
So lowsie should become for want of linnen?

Dolor intimus.

Not hauk, nor hound, nor horse, those letters hhh
But ache it selfe tis Brutus bones attaches.

Propriora meliora.

Mechus that meanes to pocket vp no wrongs,
But money, and what else to him belongs,
May pocket vp these Rimes, and be no foole,
They nearer him concerne then A-iax stoole.

Pignus secretum.

Mistris Mordina whispered in mine eare,
About a businesse she was loath to vtter,
Vnlesse to silence it I first would sweare,
And therewithall in some assurance put her.
Twas but to lend her so much, like a Noddy,
For which she ventrous would haue pawnd her body.

Viuis viuens.

Proud Dorothea take it not in scorn,
Th' art like a Biere that on mens backs is born;
Only this difference thou maist inforce,
The Biere beares those are dead, thou the quicke corse.

Additio perditio.

From Mal but merry, men but mirth deriue,
For trix tis makes her proue demonstratiue.

Fallacior cautior.

Darcas hath dealt on promises so oft
As she'll no more the cunningst cozener close with,
Till it appeare there be a licence brought,
Witnesse the fourth big belly that she goes with.

Rosa, Spina.

Admit Fardella for her face and feature
Be so vnparalleld esteem'd a creature,
She's yet for all those attributes no more
Then an attractiue fine wel-fauour'd---:
And that too many can too feeling tell,
Since she too lately lodg'd in Clarkenwell.

Splendida spoliis.

Clim clad of late in Petticoats of wollen,
Is now with silks & sattins grown more sullen,
Who being askt how such might purchas'd be,
Faith onely for the taking vp (quoth she.)

Plagis mitior.

Katherine that grew so curst and fit for no man,
With beating soone became a gentle-woman.

Aspirans desperans.

Better vnknighted (had sir Giles first thought it)
Thē thus proue bankrupt who so dearly bought it,
But that his old blacke Gillian ere she dy'd
Must needs forsooth in hast be Ladifi'd.

Iuvenis tonsus.

That Petrus proues so bald, and yet so yong,
What one who sees him may but wonder at it,
Knowing how late his haire was thick and long:
Tut, come, tis quickly question'd whence he got it,
Not by the Barbers rasor, nor his knife,
But very neere, t'was by the Barbers wife.

Antiqua ignota.

Ienkin must needs proue Gentleman, and why?
By ancient rules fetcht from Antiquity:
True; if so ancient as we doe not know,
Ienkins gentility must needs be so.

O creatus esuriens.

Of Ben that braues it in white boots, it's mutterd
He feeds at home on Carret roots vnbutterd.

Pecunia prævalens.

Hand off Sir Sauce-box: Think you Mrs Phips
Allowes such Lobs as you to touch her lips?
But then its question'd further, If you bring her
Some Legem pone, that's another thing sir.

Mortua, mutata.

Svrdus this point will still insist vpon,
Though Ioane his wife and he hate one another;
Yet ought they howsoere be both as one,
For that such matters maried men should smother:
Vntill she dead shall with the Devill remaine,
Then must they be no longer one but twaine.

Esuriens avidus.

Let kitchin Kate proue nere so foule or common
All's one to Clogo, if she be a woman:
Who standing least on fashions finicall,
Falls to his businesse like a Naturall.

Par, pari.

Sir Miles his mens heads breaks for ought amiss,
But then tis Quid pro quo; his maids break his.

Emens cogens.

Why blame you Iaques of so iust a deed,
As to prouide for matters necessary?
He did not buy his breeches without need,
For true it was, he could no longer tary.

Pristina obliuiscens.

Pretus aspir'd to office, thinkes no more
On those abhorred country Carts and Plowes,
No not vpon the best of weeds he wore
But th' other day: his place more worth allowes.
What cares he who repines, or be agrieu'd,
Things are not now as when Andrea liu'd.

Conscientia testis.

What makes Anthonio deeme himselfe vndone,
Be'ng quest'ned since his office first begun:
But that a conscience tels him, Quæ sumuntur
Tam male parta, male dilabuntur.

Genitoris nesciens.

Tom askes no fathers blessing, if you note him,
And wiser he vnlesse he knew who got him.

Non Aquila Muscas, &c.

A bucksome Lady of the last Edition,
Woo'd by her Seruingman, his suit denies,
Bidding him know (with humble more submission)
That soaring Eagles scorne to catch at flyes.

Credenti satis.

Young Gallatea matcht with old St Iohn,
A goodly, sweet, and louely babe hath brought him,
Which makes so many muse so much vpon,
That for these twelue yeeres haue vnable thought him
Surely there's then some other supportation,
Or meerly must be done by inspiration.

Credens suadens.

Mad iealous Mopsus, a man seene in arts,
Was told by one, his Wife had worthy parts,
To which he more outragious makes reply,
How should this Rascall such her parts descry?

Spectatores deteriores.

Grace scornes to grieue at worst disgrace that's told her,
Since tis her grace more graceless grooms behold her.

Nuda veritas.

A question seem'd of late to be propounded,
Why Lewes his loyns with lether were begirt
The answer may you guesse might soon be grounded
From naked truth, which was, he had no shirt.

Notus ignotus.

Behold yond Grashopper clad all in greene,
Hat, cloake, and sute alike: for loue sake stop
Till he may more perspicuously be seene:
Pox hang him Gull, has tane a Coblers shop:
And now remembring such a foist that rambles,
His mother keeps a Tripehouse neer the Shambles.

Clament perditores.

Ianus hath studied long to break a iest
Vpon these rimes, he doth so much detest,
And can you blame him? well he may be chiding,
That hath so oft-times spur-galld bin with riding.

Dicta prædicta.

Battus breaks iests on any thing that's spoken,
Prouided alwayes they before are broken.

Vxor imperans.

Grand Sulmo sweares he'll not commanded be
By any mortall of what ere degree,
And yet his little Nan that scornes to aske it,
Makes the great lubber stoop and pin the basket.

Dæmonum certamen.

A broaker and an Vsurer contended,
Which in's profession was the most befriended
And for experience, more to haue it tride,
A Scriuener must the difference decide:
To whom quoth he, you like the Fox and Cub,
One shall be Mammon, th' other Belzebub.

Verbum sat.

Proximius from his heart protesteth it,
Without long phrase or tedious repetition,
He would more knaue become had he more wit,
So that the case needs no more exposition.

Uolens nolens.

VVil with prouiso wils you testifie,
Has made his Will, but hath no wil to die.

Dulce quod vtile.

VVho writes for Stationers in any vaine,
That brings not therwith present store of gain,
Let it of matters whatsoere containe,
Is sure to haue but labour for his paine.

Ictus sapit.

When Lucius came of late vnto the place
Where Lidea was, with whō in times of yore
He some hot dealings had: with fearfull face
Steps him in hast aside behind the doore,
And being askt wherefore he came no nyer,
Oh sirs (quoth he) the burnt child dreads the fire.

Mutuans dissimulans.

Dick craftie borrowes to no other end,
But for he will not ought to others lend,
That else might aske him: Tis some wisdome Dick
How ere accounted but a knauish tricke.

Ignota condonata.

Hodge wold you knew how honest he is grown
Onely desires excuse for scapes vnknowne.

Hædera vinum.

Claudus the Vintner for his wiues sake sels
Great store of Wine, and all prouision else:
Which to her guests she dearly doth afford,
And yet contents them both at bed and board.

Uindictum muliebre.

Stoop foul-mouth'd Malcus, & be whipt a while
Art not asham'd to call thy mistris whoore?
And wilt not such presumption reconcile,
But vex her with thy vilenesse more and more?
Well: looke she hire not them shall in the darke
Pay thee in priuate with a publike marke.

Vidua aurata.

Gallus hath got a widdow wondrous old,
The reason is, he woo'd her for her gold:
Knowing her maids are young, and serue for hire,
Which is as much as Gallus doth desire.

Coacta fiducia.

Perfidious Milo liues on trust: tis true;
Of them would hang him could they it eschew

Parcus prodigus.

How comes it Calvus liuing long by vse,
Should now in's latter dayes proue so profuse?
Oh sir, he got it in the times of euill,
And now as franke affords it to the Deuill.

Posteriora chariora.

Kit meeting Kate, cals mouingly to mind,
He had not kist her these three months or more
And therefore hop't the long remaine behind
Might now be had, as kept for him in store:
Yes, (answers Kate) may that your stomacke ease,
As much behind at all times as you please.

Fœlix infœlicibus.

What makes Menalchas to become so proud?
Nothing that seems by honest course allow'd
Then must it needs be Vice did him aduance,
And onely happy is but by mischance.

Varietas, iniquitas.

Mat will not marry: true, cause ty'd to none,
He may haue wēches new, whē th' old are gone

Quid fatuis?

Daltus demands to whom I durst commend,
Or would deuise to dedicate my Book,
Being for Epigrams so poorely penn'd:
My answer must be, Prethee (Dolt) goe look.

Signum saltem.

Marke yet how Mopsus at my Verses mewes,
See how againe his rotten teeth he shewes:
O let him (if you loue me) flout his fill,
He knowes how to distinguish bad from ill:
And though not trained vp in Schooles hath been,
Yet keepes of bookes a cart-load to be seene.

Indicans-amans.

That Lambo loues good liquor, who denies it,
Or will the least in such defence oppose;
But then you'll yeeld I hope, he deerly buyes it,
Witnesse the colour of his ruby nose.

Ebrius oblitus.

Fvcus was foxt last night, but tis conceal'd,
And would not for his Office t'were reueal'd.

Omnia pariter.

Ralph reades a line or two, and then cries mew,
Deeming all else according to those few:
Thou mightst haue thought, (& prov'd a wiser lad)
(As Ioan her puddings boght) some good, some bad

Nil magnis invidia.

How comes it Caius liues so enuved at?
Cause started vp (you'l say) to such estate,
And but so little learn'd. Well, what of that,
Hath he not therefore a more reaching pate?
Yes, and may truly tell them that repine,
Caius made Haycocks whiles the Sunne did shine.

Vt cecidit surgit.

Now Martha married is, she'll braue it out,
Though ne're so needy knowne to all about.
And reason good she rise once in her life,
That fell so oft before she was a wife.

Tacens cogitans.

Who calls Rebecca whore, shall doe her wrong.
Cannot he heare and see, and hold his tongue

Anguis in herba.

VVhat makes young Brutus keepe his bed so long,
Not being sick? pish, come you doe him wrong,
To iudge so rashly: tis a deeper cure
Then Doctors deale with, which he must endure.

Iactans timens.

Fell foughten Furio swaggers, swels, and sweares,
He'll pull the stoutst and proudest by the eares:
But finding some vnlookt-for opposite,
Seemes to admire what humour should incite
That which he neere so much as dreamt: who he?
Not for a world (sir) in the least degree.

Votum violatum.

Votus had vow'd he would doe nothing els
But what Necessity perforce compels:
And yet so drunke was next day wondred at:
Tell me, is there necessity in that?

Propria communis.

Pru proues a faire, but not a proper woman,
True, for how can she proper be that's commō?

Sonans, non soluens.

Twas much that Mat in musick so excelling,
Beyond report of skill by most mens telling,
Should amongst all those driblets not defraid,
Leaue the poore pudding-wife so long vnpaid.

Mercator scortator.

Deny't not (Lalus) th' art a secret Letcher,
And with thy Trull hast oft bin seen to sport it
Hiring some Laundresse or old Nurse to fetch her
Vnto thy Garden-house: tut nere retort it:
Not all the wares contain'd within thy shop,
Can halfe the mouthes of thine accusers stop.

Hortus improbus.

Gvido his garden-house towards the fields,
Little for pleasure, least for profit yeelds:
And yet to leaue't twill not his liking sort with,
Though but sometimes he begger-wenches sport with.

Verbera verbis.

Cocus pays debts wth words, & blows, & threats
For those that trust him not, he soundly beats.

Rectius peius.

Wat went not well the ready way to worke,
That lost all's coyne at Ticktack th' other day,
(Hauing worse chance then ere had Iew or Turke,)
And yet went Wat the ready way to play.

Fortunæ obediendum.

Strange twas that Ciuis thoght so wōdrous witty,
So curious, quaint, and complementall nice,
Not to be paralleld throughout the Citie
For exquisite behauiour and aduice,
Should yet for all those choice perfections rare,
Proue himselfe bankrout ere he was aware.

Incertam mendacium.

Septimius brags he hoarded hath in store
Of bags of mony well neere halfe a score.
Tis sure of that vncertaine quantitie,
As without question a most certaine lye.

Profunda Scientia.

Sal can by science deep profunditie
Force you cry sough: Ieronimo goe by.

Æqualis concensus.

Cæcus and's Choyce, for change no time defers
Both separate, yet consenting each to eyther,
He mayds for his turne takes, she men for hers,
And so they iump, though seldome ioyne together.

Volenti satis.

Old Cambrios wife being newly brought abed
(As luck would haue it) of a goodly Boy,
The hopefull Issue of her mayden-head,
And onely Iewell of the fathers ioy:
One standing by her, prais'd her Husbands skill,
Yes, true quoth she, the Man did his good will.

Incognita suadeant.

Anna protests she nere had Childe but one,
And that by him contracted, should haue bin
Her Husband had he liv'd: but dead and gone
She scornes be questiond by your proudst of kin.

Nupta dignior.

Mal hath the mastery of her husband got,
True; much the sooner, cause she loues him not.

Optare frustra.

There cannot proue to Claudius such a curse,
As still to finde in's heart, and not in's purse:
But what the Destinies will haue decreed,
Must be (saith Claudius) wer't to hang for need.

Subito sentiens.

Rogerus tells me vpon first of sight,
These Rymes of mine too sudden are compos'd
Who would haue thoght the fool had iumpt so right
Or could so sudden haue the same disclos'd?
Yes why not (pray) so sudden in his speeches,
As he late suddenly beraid his breeches?

A Cunabilis orta.

Amie hath got an itch twice twelue yeares old,
Caught at the first she felt it from her mother,
Who if a man would hang her cannot hold,
So neare they iump for filching-like to other.

Formosa fragilis.

Besse wins all outward praise can set her forth,
But closely trades: then what's all praises worth?

Fama infamia.

Wat hath of women won a wondrous name,
How mean you? wōdrous in the worser sense?
Yes for hee wooes them with that wondrous shame
In all his actions worth Sr Reuerence.

Indigens occultans.

Why should the World and Will so disagree,
That he so closely sculks, and no man sees.
I cannot ghesse the cause, vnlesse it be
Long of Long-lane, and want of wonted fees.

Vt parta perdita.

Marcellus proues a man of double meanes,
First rais'd by drunkards, thē vndone by queans

Fronte facies.

Svsan defies the slaue sayes black's her eye,
And may she on the matter, for tis gray:
But Su's a Trull the Towne can testifie,
And will be whiles she liues who ere sayes nay.

Uisum, manifestum.

Servus esteem'd his Mistris passing chaste,
And reason then had Servus so t'esteeme her:
But Servus since the businesse gins distaste,
And is perswaded he did much misdeeme her.
For what he sees, besides so often told it,
Makes him for truth beleeue she cannot hold it.

Nouerint vniuersi.

Iack scorns be iealous, shold you nere so moue him
Come to his house els any man and proue him:
Worthy sayes Iacke cornuted will despayre,
That knowes his wiues true cariage to a hayre.

Vnus, duplex.

Dol brought abed seem'd to her Husband loth
He should bid Godfathers and fathers both.

Tenebris ignotus.

Secretus walking in vnknowne disguise,
By no meanes can endure the candlelight,
Not that it proues offensiue to his eyes,
But loues vnknowne to drab it late at night.

Morans festinans.

Qvintinius questionlesse was quite belyed,
That on the scores reported so did runne,
When as (the businesse plainly verified)
It proues a yeare since most of them begun.
So that it must a Paradox bewray
Thus fast to run and yet so still to stay.

Leuis facilis.

Tas bin a Prouerb old, That work proues light
Which in performance most of hands can doe
But tis to Luce alluded not aright,
That makes light worke and puts no hand thereto.

Uestitus peritus.

Clitus goes oft-times clad in sutes of Scarlet,
That else no colour had to play the Varlet.

Somnus decipiens.

Dod sweetly dreamt this other night had found
In gold and silver neere an hundred pound,
But waking felt he was with fleas sore bitten,
And further smelt he had his shirt be ------

Suum cuique.

A strange contention being lately had,
Which kind of Musicke was the sweetst & best;
Some prais'd the sprightly sound, and some the sad,
Some likt the Violls; and among the rest,
Some in the Bagpipes commendation spoke,
(Quoth one stood by) Giue me a pipe of smoke.

Stabilis domina.

VVhat need Bernardus feare of being bang'd
By that old Master, knowing wel his dame
Who cares not greatly if the Hog were hang'd,
Stands twixt them both thogh he nere so to blame

Castus stultus.

Rvth matcht wth Ralph must haue his maidenhead
At lest is sure to bring the foole to bed.

Vtcunque generosandum.

Fie on thee Fabius, one of thy faire meanes
And found a bed with filthy Oyster queanes?
Hangt, if thine appetite must needs so hunger,
thou mightst haue prou'd more generous a munger.

Fronte differentia.

Hodge th' art an honest Troian, so is Hugh,
Which equall seemes to giue no place to you,
Nay rich besides th' art Hodg, and so is Hugh,
Then wheres the difference pray twixt him & you?
Harke, th' art a cuckold Hodg, so is not Hugh,
And theres the very oddes twixt him and you.

Quater insaniuimus.

Franciscus feasts it foure times euery yeare,
Vpon the getting of his quarters fees,
Which bounteously he spends as doth appeare,
And three months after feeds on bread and cheese.

Lætior notior.

Silus seemes sad though theres no cause wherfor
For being mery would proue foole much more.

Emptum permanens.

What need had Gregory more to vnderstand,
Thē should concern him to subscribe his hād
So long's his grandsires plow at first had wrought it
And his dads money now so dearly bought it.

Imperans impotens.

Mvch had Montanus need be wise, and fearing
In case of conscience what's fit to doe,
That iustice giues for peace and good abearing,
And nere yet learn'd the rules belongs thereto.
Yes; has the Statutes and those Precedents
Which mens obiections many a one preuents.

Alit credulitas.

Galfridus well preoccupates betimes,
I tax not him in any of my rimes:
And wiser he to liue without suspition,
Are there not Drunkards more of his condition?

Nasus indicans.

Dacus with Surgeons deales, but what of that?
Tax him who will, he'll beare a nose that's flat.

Ingeniosa, lasciua.

Kate (I confesse it) hath a ready wit,
But such a fault as much confoundeth it:
For as she's iesting when the fit comes on her,
So suffers she men iest too much vpon her.

Pulchra periculosa.

VVho sees Sabinas outside but will say,
She's most exceeding modest, yong & fair,
For nought those paintings doe her looks bewray,
Or is discern'd her eye-browes want of haire:
Much lesse describes her Alablaster skin,
How rotten and corrupt she is within.

Surgens prostrata.

Ask Lettice where she lyes; she'll say in Towne,
But (Lettice) whereabouts? faith vp and down
True: I beleeu't, for since thou knewst the towne,
Thy dealings euer haue beene vp and downe.

Agilis inculpabilis.

Priss dares pronounce her actions yet in prime,
Cannot approue her Bawd before her time.

Quis ego, &c.

Rvfus in rage the Pots flings downe the staires,
And threats to pull the drawer by the eares,
For giuing such attendance: slaue sayes he
Wheres thine obseruance: Ha? must such as we
Be no more waited on? go; bring to pay,
And keepe my Rapier till I come this way.

Pudet sui.

What made braue Brusus shift his dwelling place
Where he so seem'd to flourish but of late:
Harke in your eare: He dares not show his face,
Since he was burd'ned so for stealing Plate.

Secreta necessitas.

What makes F.G. weare still one paire of Hose.
Ask Banks the Broker; he the busines knows.

Dirigens Diabolus.

Who sees proud Lucius mounted thus aloft,
But may admire how much the times haue wrought
Only this mischiefe certain still remains,
Whiles Lucius rides, the Deuill directs the raynes.

Novus ortus, &c.

Frō cart to court on cockhorse Caius vaūts him
In that aspiring pomp as doth surpasse,
But here's the plaguie spite, his kindred haunts him,
And tels the kitchin-groomes whose son he was:
But what shold that (proud Caius) need dismay thee
When better then thy selfe thou seest obey thee?

Ignotus sibi.

Fastidius finds it, Nimis vltra posse,
How to distinguish of Teipsum nosce:
I doe not maruell much it should be so,
For why the Coxcomb will himselfe not know.

Vt Pluma persona.

Why weares Laurentius such a lofty fether?
Because he's proud & foolish both together.

Audax mendax.

Nanus would proue an Epigrammatist,
Who vaunting much on termes of had-I-wist,
Said (vncontroull'd) He more then I had wrote:
But I as bold, gaue him the lye in's throat.

Spernendunræ vulgus.

What tell ye me of Epigrammicke toyes,
(Sayes Signior Sotus) fitter stuffe for boyes:
So much he's vext at any mans inuention,
Which to his vnderstanding makes no mention:
Who would be mou'd with those so poore disgraces
Grown from such grooms, not spitting in their faces

Inexorabilis vxor.

Ben cowardly to blame his wife beseeches
She would but hold her hands, & take the breeches
Who scorning least his words to think vpon,
The more he begs, the more she layes him on.

Postrema pessima.

Cacus in's cunning nere so prov'd o're-retcht,
As now at last, who must be halterstretcht.

Moriturus ante paraturus.

Sil cannot sleepe at nights, and wote you why?
Not that he meditates on least good action,
But onely knowing that the slaue must dye,
Who to the world hath made no satisfaction.

Tandem Diabolo.

Tell me Maximius, (prethee) why dost liue,
Still to enioy this earthly habitation?
And nere cast vp th' account which thou must giue
For such thy wealths abusiue vsurpation?
What doe thy Doctors longer seeke to saue thee,
But for thy money till the Deuill must haue thee.

Nil pocula.

Dicke in a day can purchase more with's pen,
Then Iane his wife by all those Gentlemen
That drink Tobacco in his house at large,
But that (sayes Dicke) will not the rent discharge.

Vt vixit morietur.

Qvintus to make his will be'ng late requested,
Refusde it, saying, He would die detested.

Dedicus durabile.

Had Dru but drunk been vaine t'had prou'd to write ont
Being a subiect of so poore a strain,
But Dru berayd himselfe, there grew the spite ont
Such as he ne're could since make cleane againe.

Pestis ineuitabilis.

Zfut say, could Saltus more then pawn his sword
To Ralph the Cobler for those russet shooes;
And yet the scoundrell would not take his word,
But must you see his reputation lose?
Nor was it that wch halfe so much had shamde him,
Had not the rascall fore his Mistresse namde him.

Obligatio terribilis.

Mat that stood musing on the Scriueners band
Thought with himselfe dooms day was ne're at hand,
Till entring on discourse of further reason
Knew then the times compeld him out of season.

Carne carnifici.

Hvgo for Venison hot, the Side or Hanch,
Ventures his necke assone as for a wench.

Timidus astutus.

See how submissiue Faunus greets his foe,
With cap and knee; would you the reason know
He hath so oft been knockt, as now he feares,
Theres no euasion for his Asses eares.

Expertus Mendicus.

Tis much that Nath, who can so well indite,
Can so exactly play vpon the Lute,
Can so familiarly both talke and write,
And can in Latine pro et con dispute,
Should yet for all those Cans of skill so deere.
Not able purchase him one Can of Beere.

Alea, vina, &c.

If Signeor Gallus by his weekely gaine,
Could house, & horse, & Hauke, & hound maintaine
How should he now become so poore a scabb,
Surely by Dice, or drinke, or Doll that Drabb.

Magnus minimis.

Dacus hath beene in's dayes a man of note,
Onely for wenching, nothing else I wote.

Mutata casualia.

Young Lanus loues to haunt such Ordinarie
Where he hath most been heretofore vnknown
That on his backe he some old cloak may cary
There to exchange for better then his owne.

Elatus humilis.

Why asks sir Lewes where Mrs Lucresse lyes?
Or wherefore she so oft her lodging shifts,
But that he would be leud? let it suffice,
Your men (sir Lewes) too much perceiue your drifts:
Who still are told (how ere your greatnes swaggers)
That you too bold haue bin to blame with beggers.

Debitum triennium.

Good cause had Gluto for himselfe to say,
Shall not these glories last but for a day?
Whose weeds which at St Georges feast he wore,
Haue not these three years scapt the Mercers score.

Ecce signum.

Would any man make question Phil's not faire,
Let him but look else on her yellow hayre.

Constans, implacabilis.

Pray vrge not Romulus to take a wife,
That hath so vow'd it, you'll but vex him more,
Therefore desist, and moue him not to strife,
That is (you see) so constant to his------

Videremur tamen.

Cresus would seem to haue his conscience clear
From touch or blemish of the worlds suspition
But tell me (Cresus) how can that appeare,
When all that see thee know thy lewd condition,
How true a villaine from thine infancy
Thou hast beene, art, and so intendst to die.

Vere & Hyeme.

Oft haue I studied and much wondred what
Makes Franke (so feeding) look so lean withall;
Pox, now I thinke ont, tis no more but that
Old griefe you wote of comes at Spring and fall.

Brevius gratius.

Bvt that to write thus briefly I propos'd,
Thou hadst beene (Francus) more at large disclos'd

Communia vilia.

Call Parnel punck, albeit the cause you show not,
Or instance therto do alledg not any.
Thus answers she, pray tell me what I know not,
For this too oft times hath been told by many.

Veritas nuda.

Rachel translated in her Ruffe of yellow,
To change that habit swears she'le not endure it
Though ne're so flouted by each filthy fellow,
Not that her gettings can so well procure it:
But to speake freely gainst all taunts and checks,
Rachel indeed hath no more Ruffes then necks.

Non redimens egens.

Ioane to redeeme the times perforce is drawne,
But cannot yet redeeme her rags from pawne:
Which is the cause her gaines no more arises,
But must needs yeeld to such poore petty prizes.

Intus occultum.

Sue cannot soundly be to loue allured,
True, till in time she of the P. be cured.

Facies ignota.

Why should not Rubin rich apparell weare,
That's left more mony then an Asse can bear
Can any guesse him by his outward guise,
But that he may be generous and wise?

Sciens nesciens.

Cosmus by custome taunts each man,
And yet can nought of reason skan,
How can that be, when who knowes least
Knowes he should wise be that will ieast:
Then thus, no further I allow,
That Cosmus knowes, but knowes not how.

Histrio-Poeta.

Tvrnus hath got an itch in Poetry,
And for that cause haunts Players company,
As cast-off-Chambermaids conuert to Drabs,
So may his itch in time break out to scabs.

Capax incapabilis.

Produs in's office proues no cunning Scribe,
Yet hath he cunning learnt to take a bribe.

Certa dissimulans.

Mounsier Pieros wife trades all in French,
And coyly simpring cryes Pardona moy.
As who should thinke shees sure no common wēch
But a most true dissembler par mafoy.

Sperans vtcunque.

Pru that by mariage ment herselfe t'aduance,
Is now compeld by that vnlucky chance,
Left by her Lord who no amends would make,
To match thus as you see for fashion sake.
But time she doubts not will ere long procure it,
(As were she laid once) thinke you sheele endure it?

Ignis et aqua.

Trollus Tobacco vowes will ne're forsake,
Nor wenching, carelesse wch for cost's the greater
Th' one for a cooler forst (sayes) needs must take,
Th' other appeares (it seems) too sore a heater.

Multorum nullus.

Rose in her reckoning hath so ouer gone it,
As whō to name she now no more thinks on it.

Vt Corvus Ovum.

Parvus that Pettifogger term'd to be,
Not getting in a Tearme an honest fee,
Picks that dependance gratis from his Daughter,
Which she affords him by a trick that's taught her.

Expertus certus.

Grunto would proue a scurvy Divinator,
Able of times fore-seeing dangers tell:
Who hauing beene an ancient Fornicator,
With that too late infectious feeling Nell,
Is now resolv'd past help of cordiall food,
No Doctors skill will henceforth doe him good.

Astutus Urbanus.

Pond paid not lesse then twenty to the pound,
that late thrice bankrout was. How may that be?
Yes, by a cunning fraud, no more was found
To giue, but seuen to each. The more knaue he.

Dubium indubitatum

Say Parnels children proue not one like th' other,
The best is yet shee's sure th'ad all one Mother.

Vivens mortuis.

What makes yong Brutus bear so high his head
And on the sudden gallant it so braue?
Pray vnderstand sir's father's newly dead,
Who hath so long beene wisht for laid in's graue.

Inexorabilis inops.

Braue Captaine Medon can no more endure
To liue in England, then to brooke the lye:
Pox of perswasions, can they him allure
From furthest parts, where he must liue and dye?
Vrge it no more I tell you, twill but grieue him,
For here no longer may his friends relieue him.

Necessitati obediendum.

Bettrice defies him basest of condition,
Durst least but crosse her humors disposition:
And that the Hold-my-staffe her husband knowes,
Who Spaniell-like stoopes still at her dispose.

Clamans Asinus.

Who sayes Tom Tipstaffe is no man of calling,
Can any Cryer at Sessions be more bauling?

Vivens pictura.

Lincus the Painter Iimms vnto the life,
All sorts of features, sauing Ioane his wife:
Of whom (saith Lincus) its not questioned,
Why she so liuing, should be limbd: but dead.

Sapiens natura.

Should Planus know more terms or trickes of art,
Then have beene still observ'd by imitation,
Bred as you see him bluntly, for his part,
According to the home-spun country fashion:
Yet by your leaue, although vnlearn'd in Schoole,
Planus may passe for no such common—

Notum, frustra.

Rvfus Ile ryme vpon thee whiles I liue,
And yet no notice to thy neighbours giue;
That can decypher thee in other fashion
Then shall my Penn by ryming make relation.

Periens spernens.

Ask not why Priss no more wt plumes adorns it,
Shee's grown so poore a—sit as she scornes it.

Dupliciter parta.

Mark but how vpstart yong Mercutio iets it:
Wold not a man much wōder how he gets it?
Faith by no cunning or inuentions fraud.
His Mother's partly Broker, partly B---

Veritas coacta.

Young Prodigus to blame rebuk'd his Page,
Because his tarying had so long been such.
Who boldly told the truth spite of his rage:
Which was, The Broker would not lend so much.
Wherein had Prodigus beene more aduis'd,
The standers by had not so much surmis'd.

Spe deterior.

See how the Fates gainst Spruso had compacted,
That to so rich a wife, but new contracted,
Must meet so iump that scuruy Execution,
Which since hath prov'd his vtter dissolution.

Sero revocabile.

If Turnus now were free as erst from matching,
He nere would subiect be to wiues for scratching.

Coactus fur.

Marke for a word mistaking of but stand,
That shold in stead therof haue said good morrow
Hath (past all helpe) bin twice burnt in the hand,
Lōg of such will not lēd when Mark wold borrow.

Tunica sempiterna.

Kit cannot yet his mourning cloake giue ore,
Which he procur'd the last great Funerall:
And swore so long since he would weare no more,
On best intreats or tearmes conditionall.
Pish, come you might those flowting iests forbeare,
Knowing he hath no other cloake to weare.

Perfidus odiosus.

How durst Iustinius of his Mistresse blab,
That he hath seen or known she plaid the drab
Worthy to fast, or pine through penury,
Could fare so well, and needs must roast-meat cry.

Certus furtis.

Clem would be prais'd for constancy in dealing,
A constant theefe (tis true) onely for stealing.

Sperando periens.

Hodg hyr'd him such a house, at such a rent,
As might gainst mariage much his state augment
But lingring Fates did so his hopes preuent,
As Hodg perforce must flye, for all was spent.

Vxor evertens.

What cause hath Phædra (sayes she) so to feare
The poore aspersions of the viler sort,
Admit her husband late a bankrout were,
Must she disparag'd be by such report?
Yes certaine (Phædra) for that halfe Cheap-side
Knowes you procur'd it by your whorish pride.

Sitiens dissimulans.

Dod drinks not but at meals, & why d'ye think?
Not that he sparing is or loath to pay,
But meerly and indeed for want of Chink,
Which is the cause makes Dod goe dry away.

Domina prædominans.

Ill may Radulphus boast of rule or riches,
That lets his wife rule him, & weare the breeches.

Inexpectatum datum.

What should leane Trocus with fat Tom contēd
Which to the flesh might least addicted be,
Who growne so grosse may thus himselfe defend,
He seekes for that which freely's giuen to thee.

Pergens pendens.

Ralph grown outragious, railes vpon my rimes,
Which by no meanes his malice can endure,
But cals them scums, and riff-raffes of the times;
(Onely to keep his poysnous tongue in vre)
Doe Ralph, deuise what worse thou canst intend,
That done, goe hang thy selfe, and there's an end.

Parcus profusus.

Old doting Claudus that rich Miser knowne,
Made drunk one night, and iumbling but with Ioane,
Was forst not onely to discharge the shot,
But keepe the Bastard which the Gull nere got.

Calce ornatus.

Why weares young Iockie such a jinling spur?
Oh sir, he deales with Iades that wil not stur

Asinus transmarinus.

Promus the Puritaine no longer feares
The worst of menacing his Asses eares:
For spite (saith he) of threats or Epigram,
Tis but remouing hence to Amsterdam.

Casus mutatus.

How dare you talke of Tassus whence he sprung
Admit perhaps descended from the dung,
Who knowes not, or might know, whats then was than,
Tassus is now (you see) another man,
Able the proudest of those lads controule,
That whilome durst affront him cheeke by ioule.

Proficiat, &c.

If iealous Cosmus will be such a child,
As causelesse needs assume these lines vnto him,
I can but shew my selfe true reconcil'd,
Or els must wish that they much good may do him.

Instabilis stans.

Mat being drunken much his anger wreakes
On's wife; but stands to nothing that he speaks

Reus sine re.

Why shold poor Humphry walking but to Wapping
With Collins daughter be condemned so,
As to be said was closely taken napping,
Who did but kisse her, and so let her goe.

Fortiferendum.

Say prethee (Lusco) where didst lodge last night?
Hark in thine eare, (Haue I not hit it right.)
Come come, confesse. Better then thou or I
Haue on the Hay-loft oft beene forst to lye.

Ignotus Asinus.

Nanus at Noddy least in any sort
Desires to play, but loues to see the sport.

Vltimum capistrum.

Bartellus bragging how he liu'd by's wit,
And nere was yet for least offence committed,
Is now past hope, there's nought can him acquit,
But must at last be needs for Tiburne fitted.

Alius, altior.

Would you with Caius offer now confer
In such familiar sort as heretofore?
And not obserue he's growne an Officer,
That lookes for adoration ten times more?
Tut, what of pedegree, or turpe domo,
Tis not so now you see; nam ecce homo.

Filius matris.

VVhat lets thee (Ionathan) thou shouldst not be
As honest as thy father? Say, was he
So great a wencher? sure I take it not,
And yet he ambling, might thy mother trot.

Silens simplex.

Will would seeme wise, & many words let pass,
Speaking but little cause he's such an------

Videat taceat.

Drusus not deignes the least of retrospect
On these rude rimes, he doth so much reiect
Whether more strange I know not, or vnkind,
But Drusus feares he here himselfe doth find.

Infundo cineres.

Strāge was it (Mun) thy mother broght forth thee
Mongst all her children so deform'd a creature,
For how indeed can it but wondred be,
That she so faire, thou shouldst be of that feature:
The reason may be thus (if not too grosse)
There was no mettall left besides the drosse.

Bonum pro malo.

Parnel in publike questioning my name,
Sayes in her anger she has done with me:
But Ile not be reueng'd so much for shame,
To tell the world what I haue done with thee.

Empta nostra.

Madam la Foy weares not those locks for nought
Ask at the shop else where the same she bought

Vt caput crimina.

Of thee Sir Miles too much cannot be said,
For medling with black Besse the kitchin maid
No more those dealings are discernd of late,
Then is that periwig vpon thy pate.

Dubiens decipiens.

Why should young Lelio think I loue him not,
Or with the least of iealousie suppose,
These Rymes of mine so rude and mis-begot,
Should like strong mustard take him by the nose:
Sure there's some matter in't wch makes him doubt,
He such a stinckard should be so smelt out.

Vtcunque superbus.

Proud Celso knowes since his aspiring state,
That those who fear him most, do most him hate
Yet scornes to take it least for counter-checke,
Though change hereafter chance to break his neck.

Principia sordida.

Bassus of lands good store, and leases, farmes,
whose mother milkpails bore ere he bore armes

Experto credendum.

How durst Capritius call his wedlock whore,
But that he speakes it plus quam per narratum,
Nam ipso teste: what require you more,
Vnlesse you'ld haue it magis approbatum.

Tandem vlciscatur.

How durst you call in question mistris Maud,
Because her name a little was disgrac'd?
Put case her mother prov'd a kind of B.
Must that conclude her ere the more vnchast?
Wel, luck (she doubts not) but may one day lend her
To find that flat-cap out which shall defend her.

Vt freta, fortuna.

Ask Dacus how his luck at dicing goes,
Like to the Tide (saith he) it ebbs and flowes;
Then I suppose the same cannot be good,
For all men knows tis longer ebbe then flood.

Pecunia prævalens.

Tell Tom of Platoes worth, or Aristotles?
Hang't, giue him wealth enough, let wit stop botles

Ortus indicans.

Deriue thy pedegre. (Hugh) nere so high
From great Cadwallider, or Brutus sonne,
Thou canst not blaze it from true Heraldry,
But wilt a Bastard proue when all is done.

Admiretur vulgus.

Magus a man of artificiall trade,
Most confident beleeues, and will auerre,
These Epigrams of mine are meant and made
By persons knowne, in each particuler:
Come (Magus) thou hast borne a iealous head
Ere since thy wife was found with one a bed.

Eadem cupiens.

Maria meanes to match with such a mome,
As shall not tax her in the least behauour,
Neither for matters past, nor what's to come:
Prouided, y'are a queane (Mal) by your fauour.

Porcis proclivis.

Priscilla proues to pigs flesh much inclin'd,
Doubtlesse descended from some hoggish kind.

Debitum consuetum.

Tib scornes be taxt for dearnesse in her trade,
That takes for hire but as your Hackney Iade,
Prouided you depart ere candle-light,
Or pay her double, if you stay all night.

Vestigia matris.

That Tom'sin's turn'd true trul who would beleeue
Or to those outward looks least credit giue,
That not attaind to yet full fourteene yeeres,
So duly drabs it, drinkes, and domineers;
Acting her Mothers steps, as on a stage,
Who had a Bastard iust about that age.

Vt cornua crines.

Mat will maintain, that horns and hory haires
come by haphazard, much more thē by yeres

Inuita chasta.

Mildred from mariage meanes her selfe abiure,
For certaine reasons she's asham'd to speake,
And which remedilesse she cannot cure,
Lesse able hold but needs perforce must l---

Verbum sat.

Be prouder still (young Spruso) spite of foes;
What? pull thy selfe already by the nose?
As if some fatall Oracle foretold,
Thou hast too long beene malepertly bold:
Well: take it then, and thankfull goe thy way,
Thou knowst well (Spruso) what I worse could say

Eques Solis.

Sir Sol can dance, and turne, and stoutly eat,
But cannot foole halfe well to earne his meat,
Plead almes (Sir Sol) where thou maist get a dinner
Or starue thy selfe, thou canst not look more thinner

Trahens officina.

Sardinios wife Tobacco sells for fashion,
But keepes a house of other occupation.

Facile responsum.

Lvscus that lately so much brawne did eate,
Was told by him that gaue it; You friend mine
Know you what longeth to such kind of meat?
Yes (sir) quoth he, a cup of Muscadine.

Stolidus stolidior.

A booke of Epigrams, and made by me?
Its some sweet stuffe, dares William warrant ye
Who nere least meddles or will haue to doe
With what opinion leads him not vnto:
But William seem'd not well to vnderstand,
When's wife was purchas'd at the second hand.

Patiens armatus.

Egidius will proue patient spite of fortune,
Let worst of chāce him nere so much importune
He'll be the same in losing as in winning,
A patient C---from the first beginning.

Tandem manifestum.

Kath'rine that hid those candles out of sight,
Might well conceiue they'll come at length to light.

Veritas subverta.

Lvke that a man on horse-backe met but late,
Would simply seeme thus to equiuocate,
And strōg maintain gainst who cōtend should dare
Twas meerly but a Taylor and a Mare.

Hæc fabula non.

Acton Acteon-like keepes Hounds to hunt,
Not to be puld downe as Acteon was:
That were a businesse would appeare too blunt,
By Poets fain'd, but nere seene come to passe:
Th' one of Diana ancient stories tell,
Th' other of Anne his wife is knowne too well.

Canis ad vomitum.

Lampus that left his lowzy occupation,
And liues now (as you see) in other fashion:
Must yet resume his natures former habit,
Which either vseth to be drunk, or drab it.

Ebria, prostrata.

Francke at first motion no mans face endures,
But being drunke, she's then for euer yours.

Stabilis fiducia.

Quintus will needs be knowne a man of trust
That stands vpon his credit firme and iust.
Indeed I oft haue heard the Chandler talke,
How firme his credit stands vpon the chalke.

Empta pœnitentia.

Iacke to his Iug in feeling passion swore,
He would approue her a polluted---
Whose tempting outward looks, & borrowed locks,
And inwardly defil'd, giuen him the---
Thou ly'st (quoth Iug) twas what thy mony bought
How deare so ere thou paidst, I gaue thee nought.

Non omnibus dormiens.

Say Mal be but a Chambermaid, what then?
Must she proue packhorse for all kind of men?
Yes more then time they think her as their owne:
Alas her cariage hath beene too well knowne.

Fragilis, Lubrica.

Sib much disdaines the world should find her slip,
But (Sib) tis knowne who had you on the hip.

Satis optasse.

Old Limpus faine would liue & see good daies,
Fully attain'd to threescore yeares and ten,
Who though from wenching much his strength decayes
Yet has he will as well as youngest men.

Sublimis prostratus.

Mounseur Lorenzo since his office lost,
Wherein of late he liu'd a great Comander,
Walkes discontented like the angry ghost
Of proud Tarquinius, or Pope Alexander:
Whom Fates enuying should so domineere,
Haue flung downe headlong with a full carere.

Quædata, nostra.

Brutus cōplain'd his wife did nought him bring
Or since her mariage gaue him any thing:
To whom (quoth she) y'are much to blame to braul,
Bring I not boyes without your helpe at all?

Citò benè.

Sir Iohn at Mattins prayes he might dispatch,
Who by true promise is to bowle a match.

Nocte latent mendæ.

That Susans ruffes and cuffes should so much cost,
Hauing but two poore lockram smockes at most,
Its much admir'd; but that the one in sight,
Obscures the other best by candle-light.

Tandem solutus.

Ask swaggering Sulmo why no debts he'll pay,
His answer is, Things must be as they may:
Let Bils or Nouerints sink (saith he) or swim,
H'ell not his Laundresse pay: But she payd him.

Infirmis animosus.

Pontus by no meanes from his coyne departs,
Zfut will ye haue of men more then their harts?

Vxor superior.

Whē Nan finds Nicholas drunk she straight cornutes him,
Nor from her scolding in an houre can cease:
But if Nick call her Punk her words confutes him,
So that the Cockscomb's forst to hold his peace.

Antonius Philosophus.

Old Clerco sues for pension of the State,
For it he pleads the wit he sometime had,
Who though he haue a flawed riuen pate,
Yet will not I (as others) call him mad,
Nor pull his beard, nor vse him like a sot,
This is the onely cause he loues me not.

Longius pro lucro.

Goe follow Lucius a far off thy Lord,
What thogh thy place be not to speak a word
Yet for a silent Pander proud maist be,
His Lordship deignes to make that vse of thee.

Equus peritior.

Gill by his Gelding drowning scap't perforce,
Who reason had to say, Gramarcy horse.

Primus vel proximus.

Dick 's not in town when's wife is broght in bed
But might no doubt be when she first was sped

Vsus natura.

Tristram Tobacco takes in's bed till noone,
Then rising dines, drinks drunk, & fals to dice,
Sweares he'll not budge till all be lost or won:
Sees next a Play, or Kate his Cockatrice:
Sups at some Bawdy house, and Panders meets,
That picks his pockets, as he's homewards led:
Cals thē a thousand rogues: reels throgh the streets,
Drinks more Tobacco, spues, and goes to bed.

Diues-scurra.

Dru dares good men depraue because he's rich,
Whether more fool or knaue I know not wch.

Sat fuisse.

Thogh Steel for strēgth hath lōg since spent his prime
Yet was a man of mettall in his time.

Mutatus, alius.

Young Signior Spruso scorning late conuerse
With men of vulgar trade, or meane commerse,
Scorning to lodge but on a bed of Downe,
Scorning your Innes of common country towne,
Scorning but on best delicates to feed,
Yea scorning almost, any thing indeed:
Now poore and prostitute, you may beleeue him,
In Wood-street Cōpter, scorns no alms you'l giue him

Edens vomens.

Cacus that sups so duely at the Rose,
Casts vp the reckning truly ere he goes.

Citius soluendum.

Trocus his Tenants will no more pay rent,
Till for their Wiues he first giue them content:
It's reason Trocus without coyne disbursing,
Get them with child and nere allow for nursing?

Suum cuique.

Hang't tell not me quoth Pontus what I owe,
Nor what I spend, nor what I meane to pay,
So little cares he what the vulgar know,
Or can reueale: Things must be as they may,
Let slaues infer the worst they can vpon't,
His Dol's his Dol and there's the humor on't.

Infirmis experientia.

Old Strato stands vpon his tackling stout,
He can as well as erst he could hold out:
To whom quoth Ioane his wife, men laugh that win,
Tis knowne you cannot halfe so well hold in.

Magnus statura.

Lvscus for largenesse of his limbs and bone,
At grasse time next growes vp to twenty one,

Tonsores pauperiores.

Cvtbert admires how Lawyers get so much,
And that his commings in should not be such,
Who hath beene knowne a poler and a shauer
These forty yeares, yet nere could proue a sauer.

Fatales Poetæ.

VVitches & Poets coimbrace like fate
Reputed base, bare, poore, vnfortunate,
In these respects I may my selfe intrude,
Among the Poets thickest multitude.

Admonita peior.

Priss dares thus plainely to the world appeale,
Since women that deale plaine are balladizd,
Sheele with the world no longer plainly deale,
Or mongst plaine dealing people be comprizd.

Tria mala.

The Whore, Tobacco and strong waters meet,
Like three grand Plagues almost in euery street.

Laudes cum labe.

Caius commends his Mistris many wayes,
To be the mirror of admired praise:
Wer't not for two foule reasons that ensue,
Shee's sometimes drunke, and playes the W.

Patientia Vindicta.

Cvcullus euermore will cary sway
Ouer his wife in strangers company:
And on her lips his loathed fingers lay,
Which patient she puts vp in policy:
But with herselfe resolu'd in secret vowes,
To pay him next day soundly on the browes.

Mutuans Meretrix.

When Dol wants money she desires to borrow
No more then (damne her) sheele repay tomorrow

Citius matura.

Madge at fifteen a mayd? should men abhor her
she vows & swears it, twere but fitting for her

Perditum tempus.

Vincent hath wrung the wooll of his inuention,
And cannot find least liquid substance left,
That to succeeding hopes makes further mention,
So barren are his braines of sense bereft:
And which is worse, twas to haue paid the score
For meat and drinke he to so many owes,
That henceforth vows to credit him no more:
Then how to shift full little Uincent knowes:
But must despairing, raile vpon the Muses,
That of his time hath made no better vses.

Vxor fortior.

Will by the wars would seeme a dominierer,
But An his wife hath bin the Ancient bearer

Merx concelata.

Codrus at Christmas casts vp his accounts,
What he hath clearly got the yeere before,
But neuer notes what's wiues receipts amounts,
Which valued would arise to ten times more.
Indeed his wares in open shop were sold,
Whiles she scarce hers in priuate durst vnfold.

[How much might men commend the worth of those]

How much might men commend the worth of those,
That well could pen their Epigrams in prose,
For many Rimes roue oft so far from reason,
As but of times consisting are, not season.

Ad Momum.

Maist thou nere read my lines, or hear them read,
Or see them (Momus) for I wish thee dead.

Coacta ferenda.

These Rimes you see, vnknown, compos'd, conceall'd,
Had nere by me beene showne, disclos'd, reueald,
Much lesse at latter Lammas past in print,
Had not some secret reason since beene in't:
Which volens nolens caus'd me afterwards
Shuffle againe, and deale about the Cards.

EPITAPHS.

On M. Thomas Fitton, and his wife Winifred.

On fat Tom Fitton, and his leane wife Win,
May thus be written, Here lyes thick and thin.

On a faire young Maid.

Behold here Time inters, who would not spare
those comly corps of hers, wch worms must share

On Edward Alcocke.

Cause of the dead nought must be said but good
Tis well for Ned that nought be vnderstood.

On Iohn Garret.

Gone is Iohn Garret, who to all mens thinking,
For loue to claret, kil'd himself with drinking.

On Mistris Bonner.

VVhiles Mrs. Bonner, dressing was her head,
Death stole vpon her, & so strook her dead.

On Thom. Cromwell.

Here lyes Tom. Cromwell, did much mony spend
Louing a Bom well to his latest end.

On Gregory the Drawer.

Greg. laid in's graue, who cā but deep deplore it
That so much liquor gaue, & scorn'd to score it.

On Kate Hill.

Here lies a Maid whom men call'd Katherin Hil
That true was said, dy'd much against her wil.

On a poore Fidler.

Dead was that Fidler found the fifth of Iune,
whose thē sweet musicks soūd wēt out of tune.

On a rich Tanner.

Here buried now you see our brother Tanner,
Whose skin must curried be in other manner.

On a Gardner.

Those fragrant Roses on thy coffin spred,
Thy corps incloses with thee (liuing) dead.

On a Gallant.

Who cloth of Tissue wore, here flat doth lye,
Hauing no Issue, more then that in's thigh.

On a Cobler.

See how pale death, wch no man may withstand,
Hath stopt his breath was on the mending hand.

On a Ioyner.

Lo here from strife rests honest Iohn our Ioyner,
Who all his life was neuer knowne purloener.

On a Player.

He that on stages oft-times iesting plaid,
To after ages hath now earnest payd.

On a proud rich man.

He that so proud late liu'd, and spar'd no cost
In lockram shroud lies buried in the frost.

On a Traueller.

Who traueld oft from countries east and west,
Still gaining nought, now rich at length doth rest.

On Iohn West.

Here lyes Iohn West, who wearied with a wife,
For quiet rest, desir'd to end his life.

On George Rust.

Rvst laid in dust, see how his son is rais'd,
That liu'd on trust till now, the Lord be praisd.

On old Ralph.

Old Ralph bereft of this life transitory,
The world hath left, which made him wondrous sory.

On a Porter.

Thou from a Porters trade (bearing) we see,
Hast other Porters made by bearing thee.

On a Waterman.

Here sleeps Will Slater, who by deaths command,
Hath left the water, to possesse the land.

On a great personage.

Lo here's his greatnesse laid, wch whiles it stood
Was seldome seen or said did any good.

On a Taylor.

Cruell was Atropos to cut his threds,
Made garments fit for those, now turn'd to shreds.

On Dol Prowt.

Here lyes Dol Prowt, whose dayes (left death should wrong her,)
Were so worne out, as she could liue no longer.

On Stephen Spooner.

Death hath time borrowed of our neighbour Spooner,
Whose wife much sorrowed that he dy'd no sooner.

On Iohn Long.

Here sleeps I. Long, who liu'd till Newyears tide
Full fourscore strong, but then fell sick & dy'd.

On a Bellowes maker.

Who so much breath to others daily sold,
For want of breath, no longer life can hold.

On a Welchman.

Who liuing least espy'd his life should leese,
By meere Mathegglin dy'd and tosted cheese

On a Tobacconist.

Who much Tobacco puft more then his part,
With smoake his lungs had stuft, but had no heart.

On old Iohn a Tree.

Let all men passing by behold and see,
Here low doth buryed lye, old Iohn a Tree.

On a mad man.

He now in sadnesse layd is in his graue,
That late with madnesse did so raile and raue.

On a Iugler.

He that so skilfull could play fast and loose,
Kild himselfe wilfull, eating so much Goose.

On Mal Keeme.

Death it should seeme with doome too much oredeeming,
Hath tane Mal Keeme before her time of teeming.

On Mistris Bab.

Death playd the Scab, that had so soon enthrald
Fine mistris Bab, not knocking ere it cald.

On a Sluggard.

Somnus that slept his fill in time of need,
Prayes you accept the will as for the deed.

In Samuelem.

Sam of a surfet dy'd: thought rich to be,
But how you'ld proue that tride, pray ask not me

On Iohn Cooling, a Player.

Death hath too soon remou'd from vs Io. Cooling
That was so well belou'd, and liu'd by fooling.

In Thomam Speed.

Mad wenches bewaile you, for dead is Tom Speed
Was nere wont to faile you at all times of need.

In Walterum Moone.

Here lyes Wat Moone, that great Tobacconist,
Who dy'd too soone for lacke of Had I wist.

In Mechum Io. Cartir.

Death meant to play the Box on thee Iohn Cartir
That from a sturdy Oxe hath made a martyr.

In Lodovicum.

Sir Lewes that went from London to lead a country life,
Hath made himself quite vndone by burying of his wife

In Radulphum.

Ralph bids adue to pleasures good or ill,
But tels you true tis much against his will.

In Dorotheam Rich.

Here resteth yong Dol Rich, that dainty drab,
Who troubled long with itch, dy'd of the scab

On Iohn Batts the Brewer.

Bold spitefull fates that in the pit durst tumble
Courteous Iohn Batts, that brewd good Ale of Bumble.

On Christopher Fowler.

Let all say what they can, tis known Kit Fowler
Was held an honest mā, thogh no good bowler

On Iohn Frend.

How ere by luck orethrown, tis like Iack Frend
Was no mans foe but's own, and ther's an end.

In meipsum.

Good neighbours if ye marke, my turne comes next on,
Who liuing long a Clarke, must dye a Sexton.

In Latronem.

He that so stout was knowne made others stand
Himselfe hath quite orethrown without command.

In Io. Owin.

With fame more famous shall thy fame nere dead,
Cause thee outlasting liue eternized.

In eundem.

Those shortest sharpest lines best wit could mētiō,
Were short cōpar'd to thy more sharpe inuentiō.

In eundem.

Well had these words bin added to thy Herse,
What ere thou spak'st (like Ouid) was a verse

In D. Wake durum opulentum.

Wake with long watching is at length laid sleeping,
For losse of whom there needs but little weeping,
That nere was lou'd or knowne for good house keeping.

On a young man newly maried.

The world and thou art quickly gone about,
That but new entring in art entred out.

On a late made Lady.

Ill lucke to liue no longer Ladifi'd,
Who that day twelue-month wedded, that day dy'd

On a Merchant.

Who frō accounts & recknings nere could rest
At length hath summ'd vp his Quietus est.

On a Lawyer.

Here lyes a Lawyer freed from strifes and iarres
Of Kings-bench, Chācery, or Exchequer bars.

On a Potter.

He that on clay his chiefest trust repos'd,
Is now in clay, in stead of dust inclos'd.

On a Captaine.

Who late in wars did dread no foes in field,
Now free of scars, his life in peace doth yield.

On Sir Patricke an Irishman.

Death on Sir Patricke playd an Irish part,
That at's own weapon stabd him to the hart.

On a rich feeder.

Sirogites merito cuinam laus propria detur,
Here lyes the man was late a Capon-eater.

On a rich Baker.

Ovr Baker's dead, and layd in earth,
Who liu'd by Bread in time of dearth.

On an Vsurer.

That all those goods and riches scrap't together
Shold wth himself depart, & knows not whither.

On a Wrestler.

Death to this wrestler giues a cunning fall,
That tript his heeles, and takes no hold at all.

On Dick Hawks.

Dick seem'd of death so wondrous discontented,
As more of breath then any thing repented.

On a Tinker.

Who (liuing) many a hole had tinkling stopt,
Now (dead) into a hole is stincking popt.

On a Miller.

Death without warning waxt as bold as briefe,
Kild two in one, a Miller and a Thiefe.

On a Butler.

Vngentle Death with spitefull spade to digge it
For Dicke, so quicke and nimble at the spiggit.

On a Cooke.

Death through the pastry peeping in disguise,
Took poor Tom Cook from making of his pies.

On a Cutpurse.

Death hath that cut-purse seiz'd on at Alhallowes
Who by good hap hath so escap't the Gallowes.

On a Scriuener.

May all men by these presents testifie,
A lurching Scriuener here fast boūd doth lye

On a Saylor drowned.

Thou that on Haddocks many one hast fed,
May Haddocks feed vpon thee now th'art dead

On a Poet.

Here lies that Poet, buried in the night,
Whose purse, mē know it, was exceeding light

[Vt tibi lecta placent, mea sic mihi scripta placebunt]

Vt tibi lecta placent, mea sic mihi scripta placebunt:
Iudicio servit gratia nostra tuo.
Abjicis ista ferus? moritur mea Musa dolendo:
Accipis ista libens? Illa quod optat habet.