The Times' Whistle Or A Newe Daunce of Seuen Satires, and other Poems: Compiled by R. C., Gent. [i.e. Richard Corbett]. Now First Edited from Ms. Y. 8. 3. in the Library of Canterbury Cathedral: With introduction, notes, and glossary, By J. M. Cowper |
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Sat[ira] 6. [AGAINST LASCIVIOUSNESS.] |
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Sat[ira] 6. [AGAINST LASCIVIOUSNESS.]
Argumentum.
Vndique squalenti scelerata libidine terraAffluit, & templis spargitur vsque Venus;
Luxurians ætas læna, meretrice, cinædo
Polluitur, mœhos angulus omnis alit.
Having discoursd of sensuall gluttonie,
It followes now I speake of venerie;
For these companions as inseperable
Are linckt together with sinnes ougly cable;
The heart of lust 's excesse in delicates,
And in this vice the soule precipitates.
Lot was first drunk, & in this drunken fit
He that incestuous sinne did straight committ.
But I leave recordes of antiquity
And take me to this times iniquity.
Lust, as a poyson that infects the blood,
Boyles in the veines of man; the raging floud
Of Neptunes kingdome, when th' impetuous might
Of the fierce windes doth make it seem to fight
With monstrous billowes 'gainst the loftie cloud,
Is calmer then the sea of lust, though loud
Vnto the eare of sence, & is more safe;
For this can only drowne the worser hafe
Of man, the bodie; but lustes ocean
O'rewhelms both soule & body; yet fond man
Runnes in this gulfe of sinne without all stay,
And wilfully doth cast himselfe away.
It followes now I speake of venerie;
For these companions as inseperable
Are linckt together with sinnes ougly cable;
The heart of lust 's excesse in delicates,
And in this vice the soule precipitates.
Lot was first drunk, & in this drunken fit
He that incestuous sinne did straight committ.
But I leave recordes of antiquity
And take me to this times iniquity.
Lust, as a poyson that infects the blood,
Boyles in the veines of man; the raging floud
Of Neptunes kingdome, when th' impetuous might
Of the fierce windes doth make it seem to fight
With monstrous billowes 'gainst the loftie cloud,
Is calmer then the sea of lust, though loud
Vnto the eare of sence, & is more safe;
For this can only drowne the worser hafe
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O'rewhelms both soule & body; yet fond man
Runnes in this gulfe of sinne without all stay,
And wilfully doth cast himselfe away.
If ever age or nation with this crime
Were beastiallie defilde, now is the time,
And ours that nation, whose libidinous heat,
Whose fire of brutish lust, is growne soe great
That it doth threaten with proud Phaeton
To give the world a new combustion.
Both sexes, each degree, both young & olde,
Themselves vnto this filthy sinne have solde;
Yea, even the tribe of Levie (which should be
The mirrours of vnspotted chastety)
Are slaves to lust! I speake not this alone
Of Popish priestes, which make profession
Of an immaculate virginity,
Yet live in whoredome & adultery;
But alsoe to our clergie, which to blame,
Preach continence, but follow not the same.
And their example 's able to seduce
Well given mindes vnto this knowne abuse;
For euery man doth vse in imitation
To follow his instructours fashion.
The country parson may, as in a string,
Lead the whole parish vnto any thing.
Were beastiallie defilde, now is the time,
And ours that nation, whose libidinous heat,
Whose fire of brutish lust, is growne soe great
That it doth threaten with proud Phaeton
To give the world a new combustion.
Both sexes, each degree, both young & olde,
Themselves vnto this filthy sinne have solde;
Yea, even the tribe of Levie (which should be
The mirrours of vnspotted chastety)
Are slaves to lust! I speake not this alone
Of Popish priestes, which make profession
Of an immaculate virginity,
Yet live in whoredome & adultery;
But alsoe to our clergie, which to blame,
Preach continence, but follow not the same.
And their example 's able to seduce
Well given mindes vnto this knowne abuse;
For euery man doth vse in imitation
To follow his instructours fashion.
The country parson may, as in a string,
Lead the whole parish vnto any thing.
Eulalius hath had good education,
Pens sermons well, hath good pronuntiation,
Stiflie inveighs 'gainst sinne, as gluttonie,
Pride, envie, wrath, sloth, brutish lecherie,
Covetousnes, & such like, no man more,—
Yet every man can tell he keeps a whore.
Philogonous doth love his lust as well,
But he would clear from all suspition dwell;
'Tis safest gutting at a loafe begunne,
And therfore he his neighbour[s] wife hath wonne
To be his paramour; they may suspect,
But hee 's soe wary, no man can detect
His close encounters. O, but heers the spite,
On[e] wench cannot suffice his appetite!
His first must then be baude vnto another,
She to a third, the daughter to the mother,
Til like the parish bull he serves them still,
And dabbes their husbandes clean against their will.
But he that knew him not, & heard him preach,
Would think it were impossible to teach
Vertue with such a fervent seeming zeale,
And yet thus looslie in his actions deale.
You lustfull swine! that know the will of God,
Yet follow your owne waies, think that his rod
(For soe he saith himselfe) shall scourge your sinne
With many stripes;—with you he will beginne.
The greater man, the higher is the evill
He doth committ, & he the viler devill.
Turne convertites, & make true recantation,
And leave at last to act your owne damnation,
Lest your reward be Godes just vengeance,
And hell your portion & inheritance.
Pens sermons well, hath good pronuntiation,
Stiflie inveighs 'gainst sinne, as gluttonie,
Pride, envie, wrath, sloth, brutish lecherie,
Covetousnes, & such like, no man more,—
Yet every man can tell he keeps a whore.
Philogonous doth love his lust as well,
But he would clear from all suspition dwell;
'Tis safest gutting at a loafe begunne,
And therfore he his neighbour[s] wife hath wonne
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But hee 's soe wary, no man can detect
His close encounters. O, but heers the spite,
On[e] wench cannot suffice his appetite!
His first must then be baude vnto another,
She to a third, the daughter to the mother,
Til like the parish bull he serves them still,
And dabbes their husbandes clean against their will.
But he that knew him not, & heard him preach,
Would think it were impossible to teach
Vertue with such a fervent seeming zeale,
And yet thus looslie in his actions deale.
You lustfull swine! that know the will of God,
Yet follow your owne waies, think that his rod
(For soe he saith himselfe) shall scourge your sinne
With many stripes;—with you he will beginne.
The greater man, the higher is the evill
He doth committ, & he the viler devill.
Turne convertites, & make true recantation,
And leave at last to act your owne damnation,
Lest your reward be Godes just vengeance,
And hell your portion & inheritance.
Sempronia 's married to a gentleman
That in the joyes of Venus litle can;
'Tis very likely, & you may believe her,
And you, her honest neighbours, should relieve her.
Saith lustfull Spurio, “Would she me accept,
I'de pawne my head to please her e're I slept,
And save the paines of suing a divorce.”
Yet Messalina doth, without remorse
Of conscience for the act, take to her bed
A second husband ere the first be dead,
With whom she lives but an adulteresse
In brutish sinne & sensuall beastlinesse.
Pray Iove he please her well, or, though 't be strange,
This second for a third I fear shee 'l change.
That in the joyes of Venus litle can;
'Tis very likely, & you may believe her,
And you, her honest neighbours, should relieve her.
Saith lustfull Spurio, “Would she me accept,
I'de pawne my head to please her e're I slept,
And save the paines of suing a divorce.”
Yet Messalina doth, without remorse
Of conscience for the act, take to her bed
A second husband ere the first be dead,
With whom she lives but an adulteresse
In brutish sinne & sensuall beastlinesse.
Pray Iove he please her well, or, though 't be strange,
This second for a third I fear shee 'l change.
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Borgia 's in quiet, & is let alone,
Although his sister & his whore be one;
The father likewise doth (a hellish fact!)
With his owne daughter cursed incest act.
Who dares to let him? Hee 's a great commander,
Romes triple crownèd Pope, Sixt Alexander!
Incestuous slaves! think you to scape the rod
Of the Almighty sinne-revenging God?
No, though the world doe wink at your offence
God never will with wickednesse dispence.
Although his sister & his whore be one;
The father likewise doth (a hellish fact!)
With his owne daughter cursed incest act.
Who dares to let him? Hee 's a great commander,
Romes triple crownèd Pope, Sixt Alexander!
Incestuous slaves! think you to scape the rod
Of the Almighty sinne-revenging God?
No, though the world doe wink at your offence
God never will with wickednesse dispence.
Sulpitia, leave at last to wrong thy spouse,
Lest thou the furious sleeping lion rouse;
Desist to act thy aged husbandes scorne,
He hath olde plenty, give him not the horne,
And I 'le not tell the world thy hatefull sinne,
How full of luxury thy life hath been,
How many severall lovers thou hast had,
How often thou hast faind to see thy dad,
That by such meanes thou mightst have free accesse
To meet thy paramour. Nor will I presse
Thy conscience with recitall of that ill
When thou, thy letchers purse with golde to fill,
Emtiedst thy husbandes bagges; the diamond ringes,
The sutes of sattin, & such pretty thinges,
Which thou, as pledges of thy lewd desire,
Gavst to thy sweetheart for his lustfull hire,
I 'le not once name; no, I will hold my peace,
Soe thou wilt from thy filthy lust surcease.
Lest thou the furious sleeping lion rouse;
Desist to act thy aged husbandes scorne,
He hath olde plenty, give him not the horne,
And I 'le not tell the world thy hatefull sinne,
How full of luxury thy life hath been,
How many severall lovers thou hast had,
How often thou hast faind to see thy dad,
That by such meanes thou mightst have free accesse
To meet thy paramour. Nor will I presse
Thy conscience with recitall of that ill
When thou, thy letchers purse with golde to fill,
Emtiedst thy husbandes bagges; the diamond ringes,
The sutes of sattin, & such pretty thinges,
Which thou, as pledges of thy lewd desire,
Gavst to thy sweetheart for his lustfull hire,
I 'le not once name; no, I will hold my peace,
Soe thou wilt from thy filthy lust surcease.
Drugo, although thou lately didst escape
The daunger of the lawe, which for a rape
Awardeth death, be wise & sinne noe more,
Least that thou run soe much vpon the score
Of wickednesse, that thou canst never pay it;
And soe for want of meanes how to defraie it,
By death arrested, in helles prison cast,
Thou pine in torment which shall ever last.
The daunger of the lawe, which for a rape
Awardeth death, be wise & sinne noe more,
Least that thou run soe much vpon the score
Of wickednesse, that thou canst never pay it;
And soe for want of meanes how to defraie it,
By death arrested, in helles prison cast,
Thou pine in torment which shall ever last.
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Sodomeo scorneth women; all his joy
Is in a rarely featurde lively boy,
With whom (I shame to speake it) in his bed
He plaies like Iove with Phrigian Ganimede.
Monster of men, worse then the sensuall beast!
Which by instinct doth follow the behest
Of nature in his kinde, but thou dost fall
Into a sinne that 's moste vnnaturall.
Degenerate bastard! by some devill got,
For man could never, sure, beget a spot
Of such vncleannesse; how dost dare enact
Soe damnd a crime, soe lewde a loathsome fact?
Dost thou not fear that iust Iove, in his ire,
Will raine downe brimstone & consuming fire;
As in his wrath, though many ages since,
He did one Sodome, whose concupiscence,
Like thine, deservde black helles damnation?
Or that some fearfull invndation
In his swift streame, should hurry thee to hell,
With damnèd fiendes & torturde ghoastes to dwell?
Methinks such thoughts as these should purge thy soule,
And keep thy bodie from an act so foule.
Is in a rarely featurde lively boy,
With whom (I shame to speake it) in his bed
He plaies like Iove with Phrigian Ganimede.
Monster of men, worse then the sensuall beast!
Which by instinct doth follow the behest
Of nature in his kinde, but thou dost fall
Into a sinne that 's moste vnnaturall.
Degenerate bastard! by some devill got,
For man could never, sure, beget a spot
Of such vncleannesse; how dost dare enact
Soe damnd a crime, soe lewde a loathsome fact?
Dost thou not fear that iust Iove, in his ire,
Will raine downe brimstone & consuming fire;
As in his wrath, though many ages since,
He did one Sodome, whose concupiscence,
Like thine, deservde black helles damnation?
Or that some fearfull invndation
In his swift streame, should hurry thee to hell,
With damnèd fiendes & torturde ghoastes to dwell?
Methinks such thoughts as these should purge thy soule,
And keep thy bodie from an act so foule.
But 'tis noe marvell though thou be not free
From the contagion of this villanie,
When the whole land 's thus plagued with this sore,
Whose beastlinesse then now was never more:
In Academie, country, citty, Courte,
Infinite are defiled with this spurt.
O, grant, my dearest nourse, from whose full brest
I have suckt all (if ought I have) that 's best,
Suffer me to condole the misery
Which thou gronst vnder by this villanie!
How many towardly young gentlemen
(Instead of ink, with teares I fill my pen
To write it) sent vnto thee by theyr friendes
For art & education, the true endes
Their parentes aime at, are with this infection
Poysned by them whose best protection
Should keep them from all sinne! Alacke the while!
Each pedant Tutour should his pupill spoile.
O, how I grieve at this vnhappy fate,
Because this vice is soe inveterate,
Growne to so strong a custome that (I fear)
The world shall end ere they this sinne forbear!
But I leave thee with my best exoration
For thy moste speedy & true reformation.
From the contagion of this villanie,
When the whole land 's thus plagued with this sore,
Whose beastlinesse then now was never more:
In Academie, country, citty, Courte,
Infinite are defiled with this spurt.
O, grant, my dearest nourse, from whose full brest
I have suckt all (if ought I have) that 's best,
Suffer me to condole the misery
Which thou gronst vnder by this villanie!
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(Instead of ink, with teares I fill my pen
To write it) sent vnto thee by theyr friendes
For art & education, the true endes
Their parentes aime at, are with this infection
Poysned by them whose best protection
Should keep them from all sinne! Alacke the while!
Each pedant Tutour should his pupill spoile.
O, how I grieve at this vnhappy fate,
Because this vice is soe inveterate,
Growne to so strong a custome that (I fear)
The world shall end ere they this sinne forbear!
But I leave thee with my best exoration
For thy moste speedy & true reformation.
Nothus which came into the world by chaunce
At a bye window, hath been late in France,
Yet never crost the seas, it cannot bee;
'Tis newes that passes our capacity!
'Tis soe, & by th' event I wilbe tride,
For I am sure hee 's hugely Frenchifide,
Gallicus morbus is his owne, I swear,
He has it paide him home vnto a haire.
Pitty him they that list, soe will not I,
Hee 's iustly plagud for his damnd luxurie,
He might have keapt his whore-house-haunting feet
Out of Picthatch, the Spitle, Turnboll street;
He might, forewarnd, have left his pockie drabbes,
They must have veriuice that will squeese such crabbes.
But he had cause to love a puncke the more,
Because his mother was an arrant whore.
At a bye window, hath been late in France,
Yet never crost the seas, it cannot bee;
'Tis newes that passes our capacity!
'Tis soe, & by th' event I wilbe tride,
For I am sure hee 's hugely Frenchifide,
Gallicus morbus is his owne, I swear,
He has it paide him home vnto a haire.
Pitty him they that list, soe will not I,
Hee 's iustly plagud for his damnd luxurie,
He might have keapt his whore-house-haunting feet
Out of Picthatch, the Spitle, Turnboll street;
He might, forewarnd, have left his pockie drabbes,
They must have veriuice that will squeese such crabbes.
But he had cause to love a puncke the more,
Because his mother was an arrant whore.
I cannot chuse but grieve at the mishap
Of Cloudia, which of late hath caught a clap.
Alack, poore wench! the trust of promisde marriage
Hath loded thee with an vnvsuall carriadge.
Take comfort lasse, & I a time will spie
To shew thy lover his discourtesie,
And though he have thee in this sort beguilde,
He shall give somewhat to bring vp the childe;
A litle mony from the law will quite thee,
Fee but the Sumner, & he shall not cite thee;
Or if he doe, only for fashion sake,
The lawe of thee shall no advantage take.
And though due pennance thou deservst to doe
For tredding thus awry thy slippery shoe,
Be not dismaide at all; if thou dost flow
In thy frank guiftes, & thy golde freely stow,
The principall will make thy pennance ebbe.
The Comissaries court 's a spiders webbe,
That doth entangle all the lesser flies,
But the great ones break through; it never ties
Them in his circling net. Wher golde makes way
Ther is no interruption, noe delay
Can hinder his proceeding; therfore, wench,
Thou maist with a bolde face confront the bench.
If thy forerunners bribes have made thy peace,
Thy shame shall vanish, but thy sinne encrease,
And when thou once hast scapèd this annoy,
Goe to it roundly for another boy;
Lose not an inch of pleasure, though thou gaine,
For momentarie ioyes, eternall paine.
But yet be sure, if thou still goe about
To play the drab, my pen shall paint thee out,
And thy lewde actes vpon thy forehead score,
That all the world may note thee for a whore.
Of Cloudia, which of late hath caught a clap.
Alack, poore wench! the trust of promisde marriage
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Take comfort lasse, & I a time will spie
To shew thy lover his discourtesie,
And though he have thee in this sort beguilde,
He shall give somewhat to bring vp the childe;
A litle mony from the law will quite thee,
Fee but the Sumner, & he shall not cite thee;
Or if he doe, only for fashion sake,
The lawe of thee shall no advantage take.
And though due pennance thou deservst to doe
For tredding thus awry thy slippery shoe,
Be not dismaide at all; if thou dost flow
In thy frank guiftes, & thy golde freely stow,
The principall will make thy pennance ebbe.
The Comissaries court 's a spiders webbe,
That doth entangle all the lesser flies,
But the great ones break through; it never ties
Them in his circling net. Wher golde makes way
Ther is no interruption, noe delay
Can hinder his proceeding; therfore, wench,
Thou maist with a bolde face confront the bench.
If thy forerunners bribes have made thy peace,
Thy shame shall vanish, but thy sinne encrease,
And when thou once hast scapèd this annoy,
Goe to it roundly for another boy;
Lose not an inch of pleasure, though thou gaine,
For momentarie ioyes, eternall paine.
But yet be sure, if thou still goe about
To play the drab, my pen shall paint thee out,
And thy lewde actes vpon thy forehead score,
That all the world may note thee for a whore.
O Linceus, that I had thy searching eye!
Then would I in each secret corner prie,
To finde the hidden knaveries of this age,
And lay them open to this paper stage.
Then Glabria should not, with her wanton eye,
Allure faire Quintus to her villanie,
But I would straight detect her for the crime,
And hinder their appoynted meeting time.
Then Lusco, 'cause his wife 's in years decaide,
Should not entise to ill her waiting maide,
But I would spie them out, & note them downe,
To her discredit & his smale renowne.
Then Scilla, 'cause she might without suspect
Play the lewd harlot, & none might detect
Her lustfull conversation, should not hide
Her loosnesse in a masculine outside,
But with my pen I soone would her vncase,
And lay her open to noe mean disgrace.
Then Galla, that insatiate citty dame,
(Which loves a player, 'cause he hath the fame
Of a rare Actour, & doth in his part
Conquer huge giantes, & captive the hart
Of amarous ladies) should not him intice,
Prone (as all players are) vnto this vice,
With goodlie presentes. I their match would lett,
Or catch them sleeping in a Vulcanes nett,
And having caught them to the world display
How lusty Mars with lustfull Venus lay.
Then lustfull Iove, what shape soe e're he tooke
Should not deceive mine eye, nor scape my booke.
Thy lust Pasiphae I 'de sett to th' full,
Whose bestiall appetite desirde a bull.
Mirrha, thou shouldst not scape, that didst desire,
To make thy father to thy childe a sire.
Then would I in each secret corner prie,
To finde the hidden knaveries of this age,
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Then Glabria should not, with her wanton eye,
Allure faire Quintus to her villanie,
But I would straight detect her for the crime,
And hinder their appoynted meeting time.
Then Lusco, 'cause his wife 's in years decaide,
Should not entise to ill her waiting maide,
But I would spie them out, & note them downe,
To her discredit & his smale renowne.
Then Scilla, 'cause she might without suspect
Play the lewd harlot, & none might detect
Her lustfull conversation, should not hide
Her loosnesse in a masculine outside,
But with my pen I soone would her vncase,
And lay her open to noe mean disgrace.
Then Galla, that insatiate citty dame,
(Which loves a player, 'cause he hath the fame
Of a rare Actour, & doth in his part
Conquer huge giantes, & captive the hart
Of amarous ladies) should not him intice,
Prone (as all players are) vnto this vice,
With goodlie presentes. I their match would lett,
Or catch them sleeping in a Vulcanes nett,
And having caught them to the world display
How lusty Mars with lustfull Venus lay.
Then lustfull Iove, what shape soe e're he tooke
Should not deceive mine eye, nor scape my booke.
Thy lust Pasiphae I 'de sett to th' full,
Whose bestiall appetite desirde a bull.
Mirrha, thou shouldst not scape, that didst desire,
To make thy father to thy childe a sire.
But since I cannot, as I would, be fitted,
Let me detect what I have knowne committed.
It was my fortune, with some others moe,
On[e] summers day a progresse for to goe
Into the countrie, as the time of year
Required, to make merrie with good cheer.
Imagine Islington to be the place,
The jorney to eat cream. Vnder the face
Of these lewd meetings, on set purpose fitted,
Much villanie is howerly committed.
But to proceed; some thought there would not be
Good mirth without faire wenches companie,
And therfore had provided, a forehand,
Of wiues & maides a iust proportiond band
In number to the men of vs; each on[e]
Might have his wench vnto himselfe alone.
I that, till afterwardes, not comprehended
Whereto this meeting chieflie was intended,
But thought indeed the only true intent
To spend the time in honest merriment,—
Went 'mongst the thickest, & had intercourse
In many a mad & sensuall discourse.
Let me detect what I have knowne committed.
It was my fortune, with some others moe,
On[e] summers day a progresse for to goe
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Required, to make merrie with good cheer.
Imagine Islington to be the place,
The jorney to eat cream. Vnder the face
Of these lewd meetings, on set purpose fitted,
Much villanie is howerly committed.
But to proceed; some thought there would not be
Good mirth without faire wenches companie,
And therfore had provided, a forehand,
Of wiues & maides a iust proportiond band
In number to the men of vs; each on[e]
Might have his wench vnto himselfe alone.
I that, till afterwardes, not comprehended
Whereto this meeting chieflie was intended,
But thought indeed the only true intent
To spend the time in honest merriment,—
Went 'mongst the thickest, & had intercourse
In many a mad & sensuall discourse.
Among the women kinde a wife ther was,
Her name I could not learne, I therfore passe
It over; but a fainèd one to frame,
Call her Veneria, that 's the fittest name.
This wife, which with the maides did holde her walke,
I chanc'd to overhear in her lewde talke,
How she did them by argumentes perswade
To vse the pleasure of the common trade,
I will repeat, that you may iudge with me,
Women moste prone to filthy luxurie.
“My friendes,” quoth she, “first, all of you must knowe,
Good things more common doe the better grow;
For 'tis an axiome in morality,
Which you must all believe for verity.
If, then, community doe goodnesse adde
To actions that are good, who 'd be so mad
To lose the vertue of this common good
When 't may be purchasde without losse of blood?
For that 'tis good, I think you'l not deny,
Or if you doe, then thus I doe replie:—
To doe our friend a pleasur 's a good deed,
If it be done for love, & not for meed;
To doe an act that addes to our delight
Is it not good? what foole will once deny't?
Besides, the name importes it to be good,
For we a good turne call it. With my blood,
If all this be to weake, I will maintaine
Ther's none of all our sexe that would refraine
To vse the pleasure of this knowne delight,
If fear did not restraine their appetite.
And this I holde, that secret letcherie
Is a lesse sinne then close hypocrisie.
A preacher tolde me that the action wrought
(Because more seldome then the wandring thought)
Is not soe great a fault, soe we chuse time
And place convenient to conceile our crime;
And that we will not want, nor lusty boyes
Able to give a wench her fill of ioyes.
Then to it, lasses, when you have desire,
'Tis dangerous to suppresse a flaming fire!”
To hear this lewdnesse both mine eares did glow,
But I bit in my tongue, lest there should grow
Some discontentment 'mongst them by my speach,
Which happily might have procur'de a breach
Among vs; & indeed soe much the rather,
Because by circumstances I did gather
Wherfore this meeting was, & did intend
to observe all vnto the very end.
Her name I could not learne, I therfore passe
It over; but a fainèd one to frame,
Call her Veneria, that 's the fittest name.
This wife, which with the maides did holde her walke,
I chanc'd to overhear in her lewde talke,
How she did them by argumentes perswade
To vse the pleasure of the common trade,
I will repeat, that you may iudge with me,
Women moste prone to filthy luxurie.
“My friendes,” quoth she, “first, all of you must knowe,
Good things more common doe the better grow;
For 'tis an axiome in morality,
Which you must all believe for verity.
If, then, community doe goodnesse adde
To actions that are good, who 'd be so mad
To lose the vertue of this common good
When 't may be purchasde without losse of blood?
84
Or if you doe, then thus I doe replie:—
To doe our friend a pleasur 's a good deed,
If it be done for love, & not for meed;
To doe an act that addes to our delight
Is it not good? what foole will once deny't?
Besides, the name importes it to be good,
For we a good turne call it. With my blood,
If all this be to weake, I will maintaine
Ther's none of all our sexe that would refraine
To vse the pleasure of this knowne delight,
If fear did not restraine their appetite.
And this I holde, that secret letcherie
Is a lesse sinne then close hypocrisie.
A preacher tolde me that the action wrought
(Because more seldome then the wandring thought)
Is not soe great a fault, soe we chuse time
And place convenient to conceile our crime;
And that we will not want, nor lusty boyes
Able to give a wench her fill of ioyes.
Then to it, lasses, when you have desire,
'Tis dangerous to suppresse a flaming fire!”
To hear this lewdnesse both mine eares did glow,
But I bit in my tongue, lest there should grow
Some discontentment 'mongst them by my speach,
Which happily might have procur'de a breach
Among vs; & indeed soe much the rather,
Because by circumstances I did gather
Wherfore this meeting was, & did intend
to observe all vnto the very end.
By this time we th' appointed place attainde,
Where straight with welcomes we were entertaind.
Musicke was sent for, & good chear preparde,
With which more like to Epicures we farde
Then Christianes; plenty of wine & creame
Did even vpon our table seeme to streame,
With other dainties. Not a fidlers boy
But with the relicks of our feast did cloy
His hungry stomach. After this repast
(Which feast with many a baudy song was gracd)
Some fell to dauncing (& dauncing is a cause
That many vnto fornication drawes),
In which lascivious kinde of merriment,
Till the darke evening did approch, we spent
The lightsome day. But now the time drew nigh
That was comprisd'e to act their villany;
And therfore after candles were brought in
(For then the night grew on) we did beginne
The fidlers to discharge, who being gone,
There straight was held a consultation,
In which, when each man had his wench assignde,
The filthinesse of this lewde act to blinde
With darkenesse, all the candles were put out,
Which favouring my intent, I left the rout,
And closely stole away, having defraide
A great part of the reckning; which I paide
Whilst they were all full busie in the darke,
Because they should not think I came to sharke
Only for vittailes. How the rest agreed,
Iudge you which doe this true narration read.
But leaving this mad crew, I have to say
Somewhat of bawdes, cheife actours in this play.
Where straight with welcomes we were entertaind.
Musicke was sent for, & good chear preparde,
With which more like to Epicures we farde
Then Christianes; plenty of wine & creame
Did even vpon our table seeme to streame,
85
But with the relicks of our feast did cloy
His hungry stomach. After this repast
(Which feast with many a baudy song was gracd)
Some fell to dauncing (& dauncing is a cause
That many vnto fornication drawes),
In which lascivious kinde of merriment,
Till the darke evening did approch, we spent
The lightsome day. But now the time drew nigh
That was comprisd'e to act their villany;
And therfore after candles were brought in
(For then the night grew on) we did beginne
The fidlers to discharge, who being gone,
There straight was held a consultation,
In which, when each man had his wench assignde,
The filthinesse of this lewde act to blinde
With darkenesse, all the candles were put out,
Which favouring my intent, I left the rout,
And closely stole away, having defraide
A great part of the reckning; which I paide
Whilst they were all full busie in the darke,
Because they should not think I came to sharke
Only for vittailes. How the rest agreed,
Iudge you which doe this true narration read.
But leaving this mad crew, I have to say
Somewhat of bawdes, cheife actours in this play.
Gabrina, in her youth a pretty ducke,
Hath been, they say, as good as ever strucke.
It was her fortune (long she could not tarry
'Cause she was faire) with a rich foole to marrie.
I call him foole, because he let her have
Her minde soe much, that he became her slave
To his vndooing. She must keep her coach,
Consort with ladies; each new set abroach
Fantastique fashion which she did affect,
His gold must flie for; yet she did respect
Others above him, vpon whom she spent
His wealth; her lust his care could not prevent.
Thus soone her pride & sensuality
Brought him vnto disgrace & beggery,
Till griefe for her lewd life, his ruind state
Broke his weak heart, & made him yeild to fate.
Then was she glad her whores flag to advaunce,
And get her living by a Scottish daunce.
Thus with her sister, such another piece,
Many a gallant of his golde they fleece.
Now ceazd with age, & both of them turnd bawdes,
Olde hackny women, they hire out their jades,
A crew of whores far worse then crocodiles,
Killing with fainèd teares & forgèd smiles.
Confusion with their fortunes ever dwell,
That keep the dores that ope to sinne & hell!
Hath been, they say, as good as ever strucke.
It was her fortune (long she could not tarry
'Cause she was faire) with a rich foole to marrie.
I call him foole, because he let her have
Her minde soe much, that he became her slave
To his vndooing. She must keep her coach,
Consort with ladies; each new set abroach
Fantastique fashion which she did affect,
His gold must flie for; yet she did respect
86
His wealth; her lust his care could not prevent.
Thus soone her pride & sensuality
Brought him vnto disgrace & beggery,
Till griefe for her lewd life, his ruind state
Broke his weak heart, & made him yeild to fate.
Then was she glad her whores flag to advaunce,
And get her living by a Scottish daunce.
Thus with her sister, such another piece,
Many a gallant of his golde they fleece.
Now ceazd with age, & both of them turnd bawdes,
Olde hackny women, they hire out their jades,
A crew of whores far worse then crocodiles,
Killing with fainèd teares & forgèd smiles.
Confusion with their fortunes ever dwell,
That keep the dores that ope to sinne & hell!
These bawdes which doe inhabite Troynovant,
And iet it vp & downe i' th' streetes, aflaunt
In the best fashion, thus vpholde their state,
As I haue heard a friend of mine relate,
Who once in privat manner with another
Went purposly their fashions to discover.
They doe retaine besides these common queanes,
Even mens wives which are of greatest meanes,
That yearly pay them tribute for their lust,
Vpon whose secrecie they doe entrust
Their blotted reputation, for which pleasure
They lewdly doe consume their husbandes treasure.
The custome of these bawdes is thus: if any
Repaire vnto them (as God knowes too many
Run to this sinck of sinne), at the first view
To shew their cheapest ware; if they will glue
Their slimy bodies to those common whores,
The bawdes proceed no farther, keep the dores,
The price paide, which repentaunce findes to dear,
And the act done, doe straight the men cashier.
But if some gallant, whose out side doth holde
Great expectation that good store of golde
Will from his bounty shower into their lappes,
Come to demaund (for soe it often happes)
To see their choysest beauties, him they bring
(After request [not] to say any thing)
Into a privat roome, which round about
Is hung with pictures; all which goodly rout
Is fram'de of Venus fashion, femals all,
Whom if I name whores, I noe whit miscall,
For soe they are, whom these doe represent.
All citty dames, which vsually frequent
This cursed place, who, though they goe full brave,
Are in their lust insatiat as the grave.
That picture which doth best affect the eye
Of this luxurious gallant, instantly
Is by some traine brought thether in true shape
Of lively substance. Then good Bacchus grape
Flowes in abundance; Ceres must be by,
For without them ther is noe venerie.
Provocatives to stir vp appetite
To brutish lust & sensuall delight,
Must not be wanting; lobsters buttered thighs,
Hartichoke, marrowbone, potato pies,
Anchoves, lambes artificiallie drest stones,
Fine gellies of decocted sparrowes bones.
Or if these faile, th' apothecaries trade
Must furnish them with rarest marmalade,
Candid eringoes, & rich marchpaine stuffe;
Vpon which cates ther is consumde enough
To give sufficient to a hundred men,
Spent but on ordinarie fare. But then
These dainties must be washd downe well with wine,
With sacke & sugar, egges & muskadine,
With Allegant, the blood of Venerie,
That strengthens much the backes infirmity.
Abundance of these dainties they 'l not lacke,
Although it make my gallantes purstrings cracke.
And yet sometimes these cittie dames will spend
As if their husbandes wealth could ne're have end.
Then after this libidinous collation
They doe proceed to act their owne damnation.
And iet it vp & downe i' th' streetes, aflaunt
In the best fashion, thus vpholde their state,
As I haue heard a friend of mine relate,
Who once in privat manner with another
Went purposly their fashions to discover.
They doe retaine besides these common queanes,
Even mens wives which are of greatest meanes,
That yearly pay them tribute for their lust,
Vpon whose secrecie they doe entrust
Their blotted reputation, for which pleasure
They lewdly doe consume their husbandes treasure.
The custome of these bawdes is thus: if any
Repaire vnto them (as God knowes too many
Run to this sinck of sinne), at the first view
To shew their cheapest ware; if they will glue
Their slimy bodies to those common whores,
The bawdes proceed no farther, keep the dores,
The price paide, which repentaunce findes to dear,
87
But if some gallant, whose out side doth holde
Great expectation that good store of golde
Will from his bounty shower into their lappes,
Come to demaund (for soe it often happes)
To see their choysest beauties, him they bring
(After request [not] to say any thing)
Into a privat roome, which round about
Is hung with pictures; all which goodly rout
Is fram'de of Venus fashion, femals all,
Whom if I name whores, I noe whit miscall,
For soe they are, whom these doe represent.
All citty dames, which vsually frequent
This cursed place, who, though they goe full brave,
Are in their lust insatiat as the grave.
That picture which doth best affect the eye
Of this luxurious gallant, instantly
Is by some traine brought thether in true shape
Of lively substance. Then good Bacchus grape
Flowes in abundance; Ceres must be by,
For without them ther is noe venerie.
Provocatives to stir vp appetite
To brutish lust & sensuall delight,
Must not be wanting; lobsters buttered thighs,
Hartichoke, marrowbone, potato pies,
Anchoves, lambes artificiallie drest stones,
Fine gellies of decocted sparrowes bones.
Or if these faile, th' apothecaries trade
Must furnish them with rarest marmalade,
Candid eringoes, & rich marchpaine stuffe;
Vpon which cates ther is consumde enough
To give sufficient to a hundred men,
Spent but on ordinarie fare. But then
These dainties must be washd downe well with wine,
88
With Allegant, the blood of Venerie,
That strengthens much the backes infirmity.
Abundance of these dainties they 'l not lacke,
Although it make my gallantes purstrings cracke.
And yet sometimes these cittie dames will spend
As if their husbandes wealth could ne're have end.
Then after this libidinous collation
They doe proceed to act their owne damnation.
Thus is the worthiest citty of our land
Made a base brothel-house, by a lewde band
Of shamelesse strumpets, whose vncurbèd swing
Many poore soules vnto confusion bring.
You magistrates, which holde Astræas sword,
For countries cause joyne all with one accord
To clear the citty of this cursed crew,
Least the whole land the noysomenesse doe rewe
Of their contagion. For the better health
Of the whole body of the commonwealth,
Cut of these rotten members, & beginne
First at the head of this notorious sinne.
For this is written one the Lidian stone,
“The effect doth perish when the cause is gone.”
Made a base brothel-house, by a lewde band
Of shamelesse strumpets, whose vncurbèd swing
Many poore soules vnto confusion bring.
You magistrates, which holde Astræas sword,
For countries cause joyne all with one accord
To clear the citty of this cursed crew,
Least the whole land the noysomenesse doe rewe
Of their contagion. For the better health
Of the whole body of the commonwealth,
Cut of these rotten members, & beginne
First at the head of this notorious sinne.
For this is written one the Lidian stone,
“The effect doth perish when the cause is gone.”
These bawdes & panders which doe give receat
(Being indeed the meanes wherby they eat)
To whores & ruffians, whose damnd villanie
Doth purchase gold & sell iniquity;
Were they expeld the cittie, ther would grow
More continence, for them these heades doe flow;
The springs of lust, these fountaines, being drawne dry
The lesser streames would stint immediatly.
Lop of these vlcerd members of our land,
These putrifièd members; with the hand
Of iustice chase hence this vngodly rout,—
Subtract the fewell & the fire goes out,—
And let our land this damnèd devillish crew,
As excrementes, out of her bosome spewe;
And then you manifestly shall perceave
The greater part their brutish lust will leave.
For every man this olde saide saw beleeves,
“Were no receivers there would be no theeves.”
(Being indeed the meanes wherby they eat)
To whores & ruffians, whose damnd villanie
Doth purchase gold & sell iniquity;
Were they expeld the cittie, ther would grow
More continence, for them these heades doe flow;
The springs of lust, these fountaines, being drawne dry
The lesser streames would stint immediatly.
Lop of these vlcerd members of our land,
These putrifièd members; with the hand
Of iustice chase hence this vngodly rout,—
Subtract the fewell & the fire goes out,—
89
As excrementes, out of her bosome spewe;
And then you manifestly shall perceave
The greater part their brutish lust will leave.
For every man this olde saide saw beleeves,
“Were no receivers there would be no theeves.”
Thus City scapes not, nor the Court is free
From obsceane actes of hatefull luxurie.
Those men or women that doe make resorte,
In hope of gaine or honour, to the Court,
Doe live soe idely, & in such excesse,
That it must needs produce this wickednesse.
From obsceane actes of hatefull luxurie.
Those men or women that doe make resorte,
In hope of gaine or honour, to the Court,
Doe live soe idely, & in such excesse,
That it must needs produce this wickednesse.
Vitellius hath gotten a good place,
And might live well i' th' Court, had he the grace
To keep it to good endes, & vse it soe,
“But lightly come,” we say, “doth lightly goe.”
It cost him nothing but a supple knee,
And oyly mouth & much observancie,
But he doth vpon worse then nothing spend it,
Yet 'tis well spent, he saies, & hee 'l defend it.
He keeps a whore i' th' city, what needs that?
Ther 's whores enough i' th' Court, which (as a cat
Waites to supprise a mouse) watch to espie
Whom they can draw vnto their villanie,
Some for meer lust, others for greedinesse
Of gaine; as, 'mongst all your court landresses
If but one honest woman can be found,
I 'le give her leave to give me twenty pound.
But these are stale; Vitellius must have one
That 's a rare piece of the best fashion,
Although she make these three thinges fare the worse,
His soule, his body, & his strouting purse.
His purse, her gay apparel & fine fare
Have made allready very thin & bare;
His bodie, her vnwholsome luxurie
Hath brought to the disease of venery;
And I much fear this their lewde fashion
Will bring his soule vnto damnation.
And might live well i' th' Court, had he the grace
To keep it to good endes, & vse it soe,
“But lightly come,” we say, “doth lightly goe.”
It cost him nothing but a supple knee,
And oyly mouth & much observancie,
But he doth vpon worse then nothing spend it,
Yet 'tis well spent, he saies, & hee 'l defend it.
He keeps a whore i' th' city, what needs that?
Ther 's whores enough i' th' Court, which (as a cat
Waites to supprise a mouse) watch to espie
Whom they can draw vnto their villanie,
Some for meer lust, others for greedinesse
Of gaine; as, 'mongst all your court landresses
If but one honest woman can be found,
I 'le give her leave to give me twenty pound.
But these are stale; Vitellius must have one
That 's a rare piece of the best fashion,
Although she make these three thinges fare the worse,
His soule, his body, & his strouting purse.
His purse, her gay apparel & fine fare
Have made allready very thin & bare;
90
Hath brought to the disease of venery;
And I much fear this their lewde fashion
Will bring his soule vnto damnation.
Silvius doth shew the citty dames brave sights,
And they for that doe pleasure him a nightes.
Citty & country are beholding to him,
And glad with purse & body both to woe him.
But what talke I of these, when brighter starres
Darken their splendant beauty with the scarres
Of this insatiate sinne? If honour fall
Gentry must needes submit himselfe a thrall.
But whether climst thou, my aspiring Muse?
It wilbe thought presumption & abuse
To taxe nobility! Forbear, forbear!
Thou art an orbe above thy native spheare,
Something thou canst not in oblivion drowne;—
Why come one then, & briefly set it downe.
And they for that doe pleasure him a nightes.
Citty & country are beholding to him,
And glad with purse & body both to woe him.
But what talke I of these, when brighter starres
Darken their splendant beauty with the scarres
Of this insatiate sinne? If honour fall
Gentry must needes submit himselfe a thrall.
But whether climst thou, my aspiring Muse?
It wilbe thought presumption & abuse
To taxe nobility! Forbear, forbear!
Thou art an orbe above thy native spheare,
Something thou canst not in oblivion drowne;—
Why come one then, & briefly set it downe.
I heard Brusano by his honour sweare
He on[e] & fifty cuckoldes made last yeare.
Pitty it was he did noe farther goe,
Each weeke would have done well to struck a doe,
And given the keeper his due fee to seeke
When as he came to th' two & fiftith weeke.
Whom shall we finde to make vp the iust number?
To bring 't about it my conceit doth cumber.
Why, what a foole am I to seek thus farre!
You did soe many cuckoldes make or marre?
Well then, i' faith you may, for all your pelfe,
Make vp the two & fiftieth your selfe!
He on[e] & fifty cuckoldes made last yeare.
Pitty it was he did noe farther goe,
Each weeke would have done well to struck a doe,
And given the keeper his due fee to seeke
When as he came to th' two & fiftith weeke.
Whom shall we finde to make vp the iust number?
To bring 't about it my conceit doth cumber.
Why, what a foole am I to seek thus farre!
You did soe many cuckoldes make or marre?
Well then, i' faith you may, for all your pelfe,
Make vp the two & fiftieth your selfe!
Madame Emilia hath a proper squire
To vsher her vnto the filthy mire
Of soule-polluting lust, who knowes his cues
Wher he must leave her, where attendance vse;
And can while 's lady actes the horrid crime,
With picking rushes trifle out the time;
And for a need, when she wantes fresh supplie,
Her sensuall desires satisfie.
Base slave! which standest centinell to lust,
Suffering thy soule, polluted with the rust
Of canckered sinne, by thy neglect to perish,
Which above all thinges thou shouldst love & cherish!
Thou instrument of sinne & Sathans rage!
Incarnate devill! pandarizing page!
Be sure (vnlesse repentance pardon gaine)
There doth a place in hell for thee remaine.
To vsher her vnto the filthy mire
Of soule-polluting lust, who knowes his cues
Wher he must leave her, where attendance vse;
And can while 's lady actes the horrid crime,
With picking rushes trifle out the time;
91
Her sensuall desires satisfie.
Base slave! which standest centinell to lust,
Suffering thy soule, polluted with the rust
Of canckered sinne, by thy neglect to perish,
Which above all thinges thou shouldst love & cherish!
Thou instrument of sinne & Sathans rage!
Incarnate devill! pandarizing page!
Be sure (vnlesse repentance pardon gaine)
There doth a place in hell for thee remaine.
And for those lechers which will never linne
(Accounting lust but as a veniall sinne)
To committ incest, whoredome, sodomie,
Defile the land with damnd adulterie,
Which strive not to suppresse their lewde desires,
But fewell ad to their lust-burning fires,
By seeking wicked opportunities
To act their damnable iniquities,
Till they have ruind all their hope of blisse,
Devilles will hale them to helles darke abisse.
(Accounting lust but as a veniall sinne)
To committ incest, whoredome, sodomie,
Defile the land with damnd adulterie,
Which strive not to suppresse their lewde desires,
But fewell ad to their lust-burning fires,
By seeking wicked opportunities
To act their damnable iniquities,
Till they have ruind all their hope of blisse,
Devilles will hale them to helles darke abisse.
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