Poems With the Muses Looking-Glasse. Amyntas. Jealous Lovers. Arystippus. By Tho: Randolph ... The fourth Edition enlarged [by Thomas Randolph] |
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On Importunate Dunnes.
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On Importunate Dunnes.
Pox take you all, from you my sorrwes swell
Your treacherous Faith makes me turn Infidell.
Pray vex me not for Heavens sake, or rather
For your poor Childrens sake, or for your Father.
You trouble me in vain, what e're you say
I cannot, will not, nay I ought not pay,
You are Extortioners, I was not sent
T'encrease your sins, but make you all repent
That e're you trusted me, wee're even here,
I bought too cheap, because you sold too dear.
Learn Conscience of your VVives, for they I swear
For the most part trade in the better ware.
Your treacherous Faith makes me turn Infidell.
Pray vex me not for Heavens sake, or rather
For your poor Childrens sake, or for your Father.
You trouble me in vain, what e're you say
I cannot, will not, nay I ought not pay,
You are Extortioners, I was not sent
T'encrease your sins, but make you all repent
That e're you trusted me, wee're even here,
I bought too cheap, because you sold too dear.
Learn Conscience of your VVives, for they I swear
For the most part trade in the better ware.
Heark Reader if thou never yet hadst one
I'le shew the torments of a Cambridge Dun.
He railes where e're he comes, and yet can say
But this, that Randolph did not keep his day.
VVhat? can I keep the Day, or stop the Sun
From setting, or the Night from coming on.
Could I have kept dayes, I had chang'd the doom
Of Times and Seasons that had never come.
These evill spirits haunt me every day
And will not let me eat, study, or pray.
I am so much in their Books that 'tis known
I am too seldome frequent in my owne.
VVhat damage given to my Doors might be
If Doors might Actions have of Battery!
And when they find their comming to no end
They Dunne by proxie, and their Letters send,
In such a stile as I could never finde
In Tullies long, or Seneca's short wind.
Good Master Randolph, Pardon me I pray
I'le shew the torments of a Cambridge Dun.
He railes where e're he comes, and yet can say
But this, that Randolph did not keep his day.
VVhat? can I keep the Day, or stop the Sun
From setting, or the Night from coming on.
Could I have kept dayes, I had chang'd the doom
Of Times and Seasons that had never come.
These evill spirits haunt me every day
And will not let me eat, study, or pray.
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I am too seldome frequent in my owne.
VVhat damage given to my Doors might be
If Doors might Actions have of Battery!
And when they find their comming to no end
They Dunne by proxie, and their Letters send,
In such a stile as I could never finde
In Tullies long, or Seneca's short wind.
If I remember you forget your day.
I kindly dealt with you, and it would be
Unkind in you, not to be kind to me.
You know Sir, I must pay for what I have,
My Creditors will be paid, therefore I crave
Pay me as I pay them Sir, for one Brother
Is bound in Conscience to pay another.
Besides, my Landlord would not be content,
If I should dodge with him for's quarters rent.
My Wife lies in too, and I needs must pay
The Midwife, lest the fool be cast away.
And 'tis a second charge to me poor man
To make the new born Babe a Christian.
Besies the Churching a third charge will be
In butter'd Haberdine & frummely.
Thus hoping you will make a courteous end,
I rest (I would thou would'st) Your loving Friend.
A.B.M H.T.B.H.L.I.O.
I.F.M.G.P.VV. Nay I know
You have the same stile all, and as for me
Such as your stile is shall your payment be.
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Charms Devils up, to make my Chamber hell.
This some starv'd Prentice brings, one that does look
With a face blurd more then her Masters book.
One that in any chink can peeping lye
More slender then the yard he measures by:
When my poor stomack barks for meat, I dare
Scarce humour it, they make me live by ayr,
As the Camelions do; and if none pay
Better then I have done, even so may they.
When I would go to Chappell, they betray
My zeal, and when I only meant to pray
Unto my God, faith all I have to do
Is to pray them, and glad they'l hear me too.
Nay should I preach, the Rascals are so vext,
They'd fee a Beadle to arrest my Text;
And sue it such a sute might granted be;
My Use and Doctrine to an Outlawry.
This stings, yet what my gall most works upon
Is that the hope of my revenge is gone.
For were I but to deal with such as those,
That knew the danger of my Verse or Prose
I'de steep my Muse in Vineger and Gall
Till the fierce scold grew sharp and hangd 'um all.
But those I am to deal with are so dull.
(Though got by Schollers) he that is most full
Of understanding can but hither come
Imprimis, Item, and the totall-sum.
I do not wish them Egypts plagues, but even
As bad as they; I'de add unto them seven.
I wish not Grashoppers, Frogs, and Lice come down,
But clouds of Moths in every shop i'th Tran.
Then honest Devill to their Ink convey
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Their books. To adde more torments to their lives
Heaven I beseech thee send 'um handsome Wives.
Such as will pox their flesh till sores grow in't
That all their linnen may be spent in lint,
And give them Children with ingenuous faces,
Indued with all the Ornaments and Graces
Of Soule and Body, that it may be known
To others, and themselves they'r not their own.
And if this vex 'um not, I'le grieve the Town
With this curse, States put Trinity-Lecture down:
But my last Imprecation this shall be,
May they more debtors have, and like me.
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