University of Virginia Library

Lib. I. Epig.

Ad Catonem.

When thou didst know the merry Feast
Of jocund Flora was at best,
Our solemn sports, how loosely free,
And debonaire the vulgar be,
Strict Cato, why didst thou intrude
Into the seated multitude?
Was it thy frolick here alone
Only to enter and be gone?

Ad Lectorem Epig. 2.

This whom thou readst is he by thee required,
Martiall, through all the world fam'd and desired,
For sharpest Books of Epigrams, on whom
(Ingenious Reader) living, without Tombe,
Thou hast bestow'd that high and glorious wreath,
Which seldome Poets after death receive.

Ad Librum suum, Epig. 4.

Among the Stationers th'hadst rather be
(My litle Book) though my shelf's void for thee,
Alas! thou knowst not Madam Rome's disdain,
Great Mars his sons are of a pregnant brain,
Gybes no where are more free: young men and old,
And Boyes their Nose up in derision hold,
Whiles thou shalt hear thy praise, and kisses have,
Thou shalt be toss'd from th'bosome to the Grave.
But thou for fear thou feel'st thy Masters hand,
And thy loose sports should by his reed be scann'd,
(Lascivious Book) thou seek'st to mount abroad,
Go, fly, but home were yet thy safer road.

Ad Cæsarem, Epig. 5.

If by chance (Cæsar) thou take up my Books,
Lord of the world put by thy morning looks:
Thy greatest tryumphs have admitted mirth,
Nor need'st thou blush to give my fancy birth,
With what aspect thou smilest on Thymele,
Or mimicall Latinus, read thou mee.
Innocent sports, strict censure may peruse,
My life is modest though my lines be loose.

Ad Decianum Epig. 9.

Because thou follow'st so in thy intents
Great Thrasea's, and brave Cato's presidents,
That thou maist be secure: nor runn'st thy brest
Naked on drawn Swords in a frantick jest,
(Decian) thou dost what I would have thee do:
I like not him, who to redeem, or wo
An empty fame by's easie blood is rais'd,
Give me the man that lives and yet is prais'd.

De Gemello & Maronilla. Epig. 11.

Gemellus seeks old Maronill to wed,
Desires it much, is instant, prayes, and fees,
Is she so fair? Nought's more ill favoured:
What then provokes? O she doth cough and wheeze.

De Arria & Pæto. Epig. 14.

When Arria to her Pæto gave the sword,
Which she in her own bowels first had gor'd,
Trust me quoth she, that wound I made, do'nt grieve.
But that doth Pætus which thou meanest to give.

Ad Julium. 16. Epig.

O thou to mee 'mongst my chiefe friends in mind.
(Julius) if antient faith, and tyes ought bind,
The sixtith Consull present is to thee,
And yet thy life knowes small felicitie.
Thou dost not well defer thus to denye,
And call that only thine that is past by:
Cares, and chainpd toyles expect thee, joys nere stay,
But fleeting take their leave, and flie away;
These with spread armes and with eaeh hand embrace,
They oft slide from our bosomes secret'st place.
Credit me t'is not wise, I'le live to stay
To morrow's lif's too late, live thou to day.

In Æliam. Epig. 20.

Ælia just four teeth had, if I told right,
One Cough ejected two, another two:
Now she may cough securely day and night
There's nothing left for the third cough to doe.

De Porsena & Mucio Scævola. Epig. 22.

When the right hand mistaken in the guard
Seeking t'assault the king; in fell reward
Threw it self in the holy flames to dye,
Such Cruell wonders the good enemie
Could not sustain, but by command anon
Snatchd from the flames injoyns him to be gon;
That hand which Mucius in contempt was bold
To burn, King Porsena could not behold:
The failing hand the greater glory found,
Had it not err'd, it had been lesse renown'd.

Ad Cottam Epig. 24.

Cotta th'invitest none, but such with thee
Are bath'd, and baths provide thee companie:
I wondred long how I escaped thy call:
But now I see my naked truth spoil'd all.

Ad Sabidum Epig. 33.

I do not love the (Sabidus),
Nor can I tell thee why:
Only my humour happens thus,
I doe not fancy thee.

De Gellia, Epig. 34.

Gellia nere mourns her fathers losse
Whiles no one's by to see,
But yet her soon commanded tears
Flow in societie:
‘To weep for praise is but a feigned moan,
‘He grieves most truly that does grieve alone.

Ad Lesbiam, Epig. 35.

Lesbia thou sin'st still with an unpimp'd door,
And open, and nere cloak'st thy pleasure ore,
Thy peepers more than active friends delight,
Nor are thy joys in kind if out of sight:
But yet the common wench with veil and key
Strives to expell the witnesse far away,
No chinck doth in a Brothel-house appear,
Of vulgar Strumpets learn this modest care,
Stews hide this filthinesse: but Lesbia see
If this my censure seem too hard to be?
I do'nt forbid thee to imploy thy prime,
But to be taken Lesbia, there's the crime.

Ad Fidentinum, Epig. 39.

That Book thou read'st is ours, my Fidentine,
But now thou readst so ill, 'tis surely thine.

Ad Lividum, Epig. 41.

Thou that look'st sowre, & readst unwillingly,
Mayst th'envy all men! no man envy thee!

De Porcia Epig. 43.

When Porcia heard her husband Brutus fate,
And grief pursued substracted armes to take,
Know ye not yet death cannot be denyed?
Quoth she, this proof enough my father tried
This sayd, she drank the burning Coals in ire,
Go now vexatious Crowd your sword retyre.

Ad Hedylam Epig. 47.

When thou sayst I hasten to't,
Doe it if thou meanst to do't;
Hedyla, delayd desire
Soon languishes and doth expire.
Command me to expect, then I
Withheld shall run more speedily,
But Hedyla if thou dost hast,
Tell me that I not come too fast.

Ad Fuscum Epig. 55.

If any room (my Fuscus) yet there be
Voyd in thy Love; for here and there we see
Thy freinds abound, one place I doe implore,
Nor me reject because unknown before,
Thy antientest familiars were as new,
When first thy parts their apt affection drew,
O let my later love this boon obtain,
To be embraced in the elder strain.

Ad Frontonem, Epig. 56.

Wouldst know thy Marcus wish here in a word?
(Fronto) thou great renown of Gown and Sword,
Tis to be master of a little Field,
His own, course pleasures him such pleasures yeeld.
Every man courts the walks of Spartan stone,
And wearies his how dey' simply till noone:
He that enjoyes his happy grove and land,
Before whose fire the loaded Nets spread stand,
And leaping fish hangs with a trembling line,
Drawing sweet hony from red casks for wine?
Whose fat made spreads his Table with three legs,
And whose unpurchased embers roast his egs,
May he hate me that hates this life or this,
And live imployd in City Offices.

Ad Flaccum, Epig. 58

My Flaccus, if thou needs wouldest crave
What wench I would, and would not have?
I loath the too too easy field
A like with her that nere will yield.
A moderation I embrace,
And most approve the middle place,
I fancy none that wring my gutts,
Nor her that in enjoying gluts.

De Lævina Epig. 63.

Lævina Chast as Sabines were of old
Whose face look'd stricter than her husbands, could,
Whiles she permits her selfe refresh'd to be
Oft in the baths held in communitie,
She fell on fire, embraced a lad, and burn'd,
Chast she came there, but too much chasd return'd.

Ad Somnum Epig. 72.

Nævia six Cupps Justina seaven Comprize,
Lycas five, Lyde four, and Ida three,
Each man his love by healths arithmatize,
If none appeare, then Sleep come thou to me

Ad Fidentinum Epig. 73.

Fidentine dost thou think and seek to be
A Poet by my verse in thievery?
So Ægle with her bought and Indian bone
may seem to have a sound mouth of her own.
So painted-faced Lycoris may seem white,
Though black as Moores veild in a nat'rall night.
For that same cause that thou art Poet call'd,
Thou mayst be said bush-haird when thou art bald.

Ad Cæcilianum Epig. 74.

Scarce on in all the Citty would embrace
Thy proffer'd wife (Cæcilian) free to have:
But now she guarded, and lock'd up: apace
Thy custom comes. O th'art a witty knave!

Ad Flaccum Epig. 77.

Flaccus thou greatest of my cares to me,
The heire of old Antenors familie!
Out with these Muses songs, and companie,
No Girle among them will bring ought to thee.
What seekst of Phœbus? tis Minerva's chest
Is full, shee's wise and hoards up all the rest.
What can poor Bacchus wreaths give? Pallas tree
Weighs down her boughs with superfluitie.
Helicon has no more but springs, and bays,
The harps of Goddesses and empty praise.
With th'Sacred Fountains what hast thou to doe?
The Roman Courts more rich, and nearer too.
There the chink gingles, but about our chayr
And pulpits, Kisses only fill the Ayre.

De Manneia's Epig. 84.

A puppie licks Manneia's lipps, the sense
I grant, a dog may kis.—sir reverence.

De Quicinali Epig. 85.

Sly Quicinalis cares not much to wed,
Yet would partake the off-spring of the bed,
But yet what trick? what custom is't he uses?
Most certain he his chamber-maids abuses.
So stocks his house and feilds: how truly he
Is calld the Father of his familie?

De Novio Microspico Epig. 87.

Novius my neighbour is, and he
From out my windows reacht may be,
Who will not envy me? and say
I'm happy all howers of the day?
Who may, enjoy a freind so near?
But he's as farr from me, as where
Terentian guards Syene's wall,
Nor can I feast with him at all,
Nor is it granted once to me
To hear him, or at least to see,
Nor in this City one throughout
Lives me more near, or more remote.
Well he or I must further move,
Who so would Novius neighbour prove:
And verily his Inmate be,
Must never Novius mean to see.

Ad Bassam tribadem Epig. 91.

Cause amongst males thou nere was seen to be
Nor as unchast no fable feigned thee,
But all thy offices discharged were
By thy own sex, no man intruding there,
I grant thou seem'dst Lucretia to our eye,
But (o mistake!) Bassa th'art out ont, fie.
Two Twatts commit the fact, and dare it can,
Whiles a prodigious lust supplies the man,
Th'hast made a riddle worth the Thebane guile,
Where no man is, adultery bred the while.

Ad Nævolum Causidicum Epig. 98.

Still in a crowd of noise thy voyce is heard,
And thinkst thy self a Lawyer for thy table,
On this account each man that wears a beard
May be as wise: lo all men peace! now pratle.

Ad Calenum avarum Epig. 100.

Thou scarce hadst twenty sesterties in all,
Yet wast so bountifull, and liberall,
So richly neat (Calenus) that all wee
Thy friends did wish thee much more great to be,
Jove heard our prayers, and what we then desired,
And ere seaven months (I think) were full expired
Foure funerals bequeathd thee such a summ:
But, thou as if no Legacies had come,
But rather hadst bin robd, grewst so in care,
So basely hard, that our more sumptuous fare
That in a year thou dost provide one time
Costs thee no more then th'offal of thy coyn:
And we thy seaven old friends are by thee thought
Worth but a lead half pound if to be bought,
What mischief shall we wish that's worthy thee?
Even a thousand times more rich to bee!
If this shall happen which we pray it might,
Wretched Calenus thou wilt starve out-right.

Ad Scævolam Epig. 104.

Scævola not as yet dubbd Knight he prays
For one ten thousand pounds his stock to raise,
How largely would he live! how happilie!
The easie gods smil'd and vouchsaf'd it free.
Upon this boon his coat was much more bare,
His Cloak far worse, his shoos thrice clouted are,
His olives were of seaven years vintage standing,
One Table serves two meales by his commanding:
The course dreggs ofred wine are his chiefe drink,
His pease and wench scarce cost one doit I think,
Let us appeale to Law, thou cheating Bore,
Live, or else to the gods their goods restore.

Ad Lucium Julium Epig. 108.

Most famous Julius thou sayst oft to mee,
Th'art idle, write things for eternitie:
Give me such boons I cry, such as of old
Horace and Virgil from their Patron hold,
Ile strive to raise my cares beyond times date,
And snatch my name from fire's consuming hate,
The Oxe on barren fields his yoke wiln't beare,
A fast soyle tyres, but yet the labour's dear.

Ad Uelocem Epig. 111.

Uelox complaines my Epigrams are long,
whiles he writes none: he sings a shorter song