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Flovvers of Epigrammes

Ovt of sundrie the moste singular authours selected, as well auncient as late writers. Pleasant and profitable to the expert readers of quicke capacitie: By Timothe Kendall
 

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H. STEPHANVS.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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H. STEPHANVS.

Of Auctus, a swilbole.

Alone to taste, vp Auctus quaft
a bole with wine full fraught:
Ne was he yet content with this,
but askt an other draught.
The goblet was not washt, he saied,
and bad them fill againe:
Whiche doen, he drinkes a freshe, and letts
no drop behinde remaine.
Now that so muche he doeth require,
alone to taste and trie:
How muche trowe you will he desire,
attacht with thirst and drie?

Of the booke whiche Vincentius Obsopœus wrote of the feat of drinkyng.

Why doest the Germans teache that arte,
in whiche thei skilfull bee?

88

Why are so many Doctors, tell,
made schollers vnto thee?
Gul, bib, and bole, carouse, and quaffe,
eche can in Germany:
Thou shouldst haue taught thē (rather then)
the waie how to be drie.

Of Aulus.

What Aulus doeth I doe not aske:
but whether of these twoo:
Or drinke, or slepe, for nothyng els
doeth Aulus vse to doe.

Of Marcus.

To slepe his surfet vile awaie,
Marke slepes out lightly halfe the daie.
Some men (the cause that did not knowe)
Did aske hym why he sleped so.
Quoth he, why doeth not Dauid saie?
Tis vanitie to rise ere daie.

To Ancus.

Thou drunken faindst thy self of late:
thou three daies after slepst:
How wilt thou slepe (with drinke in deede)
when thou art throughly pepst?

To a certaine drunkarde.

Who termde thee drunkard, termde thee ill:
More drunke art thou, then drūkard still.

[88]

Of Aulus.

Looke when moste sober Aulus is,
moste drunke is Aulus he.
Againe vnlesse that he be drunke,
he sober can not be.
For sober still he braules and braies,
he teares, and on he takes:
And like a bedlem beast, bothe sande
and sea together shakes.
But when that he hath quafte his fill,
no coile at all he keepes:
But casts hymself vpon his couche,
and (snortyng) soundly sleepes.

An Epitaphe, of a notorious drunkard.

The corps clapt fast in clottered claie,
that here engraude doeth lye:
On death-bedde sware, in all his life
that he but once was drie.
And (surely) thou mayst credite hym
for that whiche he did saie:
For all the while his life did last,
he thirstie was alwaie.

To Pontifer.

A Spring all thou (in prime of yeres)
a beldame old doest wedde:

89

A toothlesse, tough, old Mumphima,
with quyueryng palsey spedde.
Thou thoughtst thy pelfe and poked pence,
by this deuice to spare:
Thou thoughtst a maide would eate to much
and make thy bouget bare.
Thou art deceiude: by this deuise
naught shalt thou saue: I thinke
Yong maides thei will not eate so muche,
as aged trotts will drinke.

Of a Iade most vile and pestilent.

Harde yron spurres no more estemes,
this dull and blockishe Iade:
Then spurres of woole, or silken spurres,
as softe as can be made.

Againe.

This Iade doeth seme no more to feele,
the prickyng of a spurre:
Then doeth a stone, or member dedde,
the whiche maie nothyng sturre.

Againe.

The spurre that cuttes and gores the guts
no more doeth he regard:
Then sturdie stith, where beates the Smith,
the batteryng hammer harde.

[89]

Againe.

By stickyng spurre doest seke to sturre
thy steede that will not stere:
Thou goest about to tell a tale,
to hym that can not heare.

Againe.

Spare spare to spurre it nought auailes:
Spurres serue for other horse:
Kicke, pricke, spurne, spur: pinche, pūch and panche
thou shalt not stirre a corse.

Againe.

This blockishe beaste, as sone as he
of any man is spide:
Straitwaies he saieth, behold an Asse,
trust vp in horses hide.

Againe.

So slowly goes this mopishe Iade,
(whereon you vse to ride)
As hard and skant of Linx hym self,
his mouyng maie be spide.

Againe.

If sluggishe sloth had euer sonne or child:
This same is he, vnlesse I be beguild.

Againe.

Euen looke how muche the Harte excelles
the Asse to runne a race:

90

So muche this horse of euery horse
beside is paste in pace.

Againe.

He semes as he were still a slepe:
it maie be so he slepes
As doeth the Hare, who slepyng still,
his eyes brode open kepes.

Againe.

Cut out this cursed Cabals cods
betyme, if you doe well:
What will his ofspryng be, but euen
a very plague of hell.

Againe.

What shall we do with this same beast?
how shall we vse hym, tell?
Hym serue as Flaccus asse was serud,
and so you serue hym well.