The Muses Sacrifice :: :: University of Virginia Library

Affliction still lyes heauie on my Soule,
which makes her stupid, dry, and dull to pray;
Then (Lord) vnlesse thou doe her pow'r controule,
she needes must sinke to Hell beneath her sway.

O Sinne (that with high Hand dost hurle so low)
thou art sole Cause of this so bad Effect:
Thou NOTHING, that dost all things ouerthrow
not staid by Grace, why dost me thus deiect?

O had I beene abortiue, and dead borne;
or, if not so, the Font had reft my breath:
Then had I made a quicke and safe returne,
that now must passe in perill to my death!

I can but sinne, then Iustice can but scourge;
so, Sinne and Scourges, wheeling, o'er me goe:
Yea, Sinne being quiet, I it oft doe vrge;
so, on me, with it, pull a World of woe.

Lord! what am I, that am so rarely fraile?
that can doe nothing: that is, sinne I can:

For, Sinne is Nothing; yet, it doth preuaile
against me, Something: that is, marres a Man!

When I doe minde the strange Austeritie,
familiar with some (reclus'd from this life)
The watching, praying, fasting, charitie,
the fights with Flesh, with Sinne, the endlesse strife,

I am amaz'd with wonder; grieu'd with shame;
nay, waighing theirs with mine, my conscience bleeds
To see the ods: ô fie, I am to blame,
to call it ods, sith it all ods exceedes!

For white and blacke doe farre lesse disagree
then theirs and mine: mine being, lighty, darke;
Theirs, darkly, light; and lights the darke to see:
notorious I, for sinne; they, Saints of marke.

So that I am confounded but to minde
the ods (surmounting ods) betweene the two:
For, in my selfe, with Pride, all ill I finde;
in them all good, and yet most humble too.

Then, sith Comparisons are but too blame
betweene things so repugnant (for, they doe
But shew the ods vnto the worsers shame)
I will forbeare, and beare the blemish too.

For, all reproch (though infinite it were)
comes short of endlesse sinne, in foule offence:

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Then, may I well that All (as nothing) beare,
which Centers but my sinnes Circumference!

For, weake as frailtie is my strongest force
in fight with vices, and in ghostly warres:
At best no better then a liuing Corse;
and that the Vrne that but my Soule inte rres!

I fight, but faint, the first Incounter trying;
yet, oft by standing on my strength too much
I quite am foil'd, that might haue foil'd by flying;
such is my rashnesse, and my weakenesse such.

If I o'er come, (as seldome so I doe)
my spirit growes proud, and confident withall:
So this farre worse then that doth me vndoe;
for spirituall pride still takes the lowest fall.

But, when I fall, thy help (Lord) I inuoke,
to raise me: rais'd, I fall to worser ill:
So seeme but leaue to craue, (though it I cloke)
but still to fall, and to be raised still.

But to thee (knower of all thoughts) it's knowne
such Boones are sinnes that beg but leaue to sinne:
My Boones no better be; for, being downe,
I craue to rise by Grace, to fall therein.

And though my Prayers aime at no such end,
yet, in the end (sith I but rise and fall)

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It seemes I did but by the same entend
to make my selfe thy Mercies Racket-ball.

Which falling hardest, highest doth rebound;
but, to doe ill, that good thereof might rise,
Is Ill, so ill, as may the Soule confound;
then, all that good in Soule-confounding, lies.

To sinne of purpose, but to make vs meeke,
augments the fault; for, tis presumptuous Sinne:
And who, by Error, Heau'nly Truth shall seeke,
shall lose her quite, and Hell, with Error, winne.

Then, Lord of Truth, when I haue tane a fall,
let me desire to rise, to fall no more:
So though thou bandy me from wall to wall,
yet, keepe me vp, at least, with beating sore.

And, if, by weakenesse, I shall sometimes slippe,
so stay me then, that downe I fall not quite:
Let me, at most (if so at least) but trippe;
then, take the faster footing through thy might.
So shall I praise that Pow'r that stayes me so;
And, euer ouercome an Ouerthrow.