The Golden Aphroditis A pleasant discourse, penned by John Grange ... Whereunto be annexed by the same Authour asvvell certayne Metres upon sundry poyntes, as also divers Pamphlets in prose, which he entituleth His Garden: pleasant to the eare, and delightful to the Reader, if he abuse not the scente of the floures |
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 | The Golden Aphroditis |  |
A newe Married man being stung vvith vvedlocke, declareth his minde Cantico more, vpon this texte: Content your selfe as well as I, let reason rule your minde, As Cuckoldes come by destinie, so Cuckowes sing by kinde.
When as Aurora in the morne, did buskle vp to ryse,And Lucifer that brode day Star, did vaunce himself in skies.
I gan Morpheus to resist, and eke his mace to skorne,
Murcea likewise stept aside, and I as one new borne.
In stretchyng forth my slouthfull limmes, amid my naked bedde,
Began to thinke opprest with care, whiche way my life to leade.
For thryce seuen times the Lady Ver, had florisht in hir pryme,
And thryce seuen times Dan Estas he, appeared in my time.
No lesse likewise had Autumne he, by course me shewed his face,
With hoary Hyems at his trayne according to his grace.
Which when I saw how Time did passe, and balde he was behind,
I thought it best my selfe tapply, his former bushe to finde,
And founde, thereon to lay fast holde, bicause he flittes away,
For time and tide it tarieth none, nor keepeth at a stay.
Thus musing much wt masing mind, which way for me wer best,
At length I founde that harde it was, for ought to liue at rest.
For if dame Pleasure streake mine oare, in this my youthfull race,
Swete meat sharp sauce, I know requirs no iudgmēt in this cace.
And what though Venus graunts me grace? nought therby shal I gaine,
Such pleasures lasteth but a time, & yet they do aske paine.
And then if so affection fonde, within my brest should raygne,
Whereof Valerius doth reporte, that Aristophnes once,
In templis Acharontijs made prayers for the nonce.
That he in Charons ferry boate might passe the Stygian lake,
To Plutos grysly gates of Hell: which for his daughters sake
He did obtayne, through fayned loue, which he to them did beare,
Alecto, and Tisiphone, Megera: these for feare
He flattered much, to whome I know such credite did they giue,
That they him taught with sops to feede (if so he sought to liue)
The Triceps head of Cerberus the porter of his gate,
But see within thou stay not long, least forth thou come to late.
This councell did he keepe ful well, and as they had him tought
He did, and saw what was his will, he founde eke what he sought.
But what he foūd that restes vnknowne, but when he came againe
Unto Thatheniensians, he gan to warne them playne,
For wanton Lions fostryng vp within the Citie walles,
Least while they thinke of Melt to feede, they taste of bitter galles,
Thus likyng breedes extremitie, lulld in affections lappe,
And looke what others pleaseth moste, therein I finde least sappe.
Alas what one can frame himselfe his youthfull race to spende,
All in Mineruas comely courte? doth not Diana bende
Sometime vnto Dame pleasures lawes? how then cā I withstād
The firie force of Cupides bowe? doth not dame Venus stande
At Beauties barre with comly crewes & routes of dayntie dames?
Whose smiling lookes & prāking toyes, doth cast such fiery flames
Before my greedy glauncing eyes, that rolleth here and there,
That I poore soule do rest betrayde, as doth the fearfull hare.
What shall I do poore sillie sotte? make answere in this cace:
Where are thy wittes as now become, that arte so wan of face?
If so they wandring be abrode, then call them home againe,
A counsell generall to holde it asketh them no payne.
Therein determine of my life, how I the same shall leade,
But yet determine of thy selfe that perfite path to treade,
That leades vnto the perfite ioyes, else thou thy selfe beshrowe
Mayst soone perchaunce, & vnawares the paine therof shalt know.
That I my running head to stay, and eke at ease to liue,
A wife should wedde (oh waylfull woe) what could haue chaunced wurse?
The wedded man best liues at ease, when fast bounde in his purse
He hath the tongue of wedded wife, else will she clatter so,
Bothe to his face and at his backe, that gladde he is to goe
His way and leaue hyr all alone, for why a shrewishe tongue,
Is like vnto an Aspen leafe, that nothing vayles to clangue.
But yet for this they councellde me a wedded wife to take,
That I the fishe of cōmon sewer might whole and cleane forsake.
I was content, my wittes did serue, and would me so to doe,
To wiue I wente, as bootelesse bente, a goslyng for to shoe.
For looke whose wife in beautie braue, doth passe the middle sorte,
Each thinkes hir nought, a secrete whore, and giues hir this report.
But further yet of wiues to speake, thus much I haue to say,
Whose wife in welth hir mate exceedes, she then wil beare ye sway,
And treade vpon hir husbandes crowne, as for hir feete to lowe,
Thou mightst haue beggde, this will she say (if so she be a shrowe)
If not for me, thou knowest full well, thus will she beare the rule,
And weare the breeches of hir mate, as wrapt in Friers cule.
I did deserue a better man than euer thou wilt be,
Why seekste thou then thy whole affayres or ought to hide fro me?
Why should not I thy councell be, without restraint of will?
So ought it be, and so it shall, till pleasure hath his fill.
Then she disdayning of hir matche, some one will soone procure,
To pay the boxe, and eke with salue, hir former wounde to cure.
To Cuckoldes hall she will him sende, as warden for to be,
With grifted hornes vpon his head, as euery one may see.
Hir husbandes wealth shall wasted be, vpon hyr bilbowe boyes,
Thus ouerfayre, and all to riche, doe wante no tedious toyes.
Then who so wiues, whome beauty wāts, be she ere poore or ritche,
He will hir lothe, she can not please, she is not for his pitche.
Thus whiche way can a maried man at this day liue at ease,
When neyther faire, the foule, nor riche, his fancy fond may please?
Yet I a merry meane did finde, which is a berry Browne,
If so it be (as Goddes it graunt) then am I all to wedde,
For Browne and louely haue I cought, taccompany me in bedde.
New married wiues and yong men too, do thinke the day is long,
Wherein they wedded be, and wishe for wante of other song
The night were come, & so did I, that Phebus to the west,
With steedes were drawne on chariot wheles, and there to take his rest.
His course was done, & Vesper she with Luna playde their partes,
Whiche pleasde vs well, for ioyes approcht, most meete for louing harts,
But passing forth this pleasāt night, wt louely tricks I say,
Alas to soone dan Phebus he did shewe, that it was day.
And with his radiant glittering beames began for to display,
It was not meete for louers, yet so timely for to ryse,
But for to chat an houre or two, this is their wonted guyse:
And playing thus with wātō toyes, ye Cuckow bad good morow,
Alas thought I, a token tis, for me to liue in sorrow:
Cuckow sang he, Cuckow sayd I, what destiny is this?
Who so it heares, he well may thinke, it is no sacred blisse.
Alas (quoth she) what cause haue you, as yet thus for to say,
In Cuckow time few haue a charme, to cause his tongue to stay.
Wherfore,
Content your selfe as well as I, let reason rule your minde,
As Cuckolds come by destiny, so Cuckowes sing by kinde.
FINIS.
| The Golden Aphroditis | |