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Epigrammes in the oldest cut, and newest fashion

A twise seuen houres (in so many weekes) studie: No longer (like the fashion) nor vnlike to continue. The first seuen. [by] Iohn Weeuer

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Lectores, quotquot, quales, quicunque estis.
  
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Lectores, quotquot, quales, quicunque estis.

O let my words be sweetned in a mouth,
(If your great highnesse can discend so low,
As daigne to view my tender-blushing youth,
That twenty twelue months yet did neuer know)
Right Malmsey relisht: one which euer saith,
Good, very good, nay, excellent in faith.


Dew gracious lookes vpon mine infant Muse,
Nip not my blossoms in their budding prime,
These artlesse lines at leisure do peruse,
Only to adde more wings to idle time:
My hou'ring muse could neuer get that spirit,
Which to peruse me might your fauour merit.
I neuer lay vpon a bed of Roses,
T'wixt Beauties lips entombing of my tong,
Smelling rose-waterd odoriferous Poses,
Pleasing my mistris with a Mermaides song.
Of amorous kissing more then loue-sicke lauish,
Whose iuice might make my words the Readers rauish.
The liquid waues nor did I euer plash
Of siluer-channeld Isis purling riuer,
(Yet Nestor-old nymph-nursing Grant wil wash
Hir Nymphs: & scorns preheminēce to giue hir)
Nor haue I spent in Troinouant my dayes,
Where all good witts (some say) are crown'd with Bayes.


I cannot shew then in a sugred vaine,
Wit, iudgement, learning, or inuention:
I cannot reach vp to a Delians straine,
Whose songs deserue for euer your attention:
Nor Draytons stile, whose hony words are meete
For these your mouths, far more than hony sweet.
I neuer durst presume take in mine hand
The nimble-tripping Faëries history,
I cannot, I protest, yet vnderstand
The wittie, learned, Satyres mystery;
I cannot moue the sauage with delight,
Of what I cannot, Reader then I write.
Must I then cast in Enuies teeth defiance?
Or dedicate my Poems to detraction?
Or must I scorne Castilioe's neere alliance?
Nay, I must praise this Poet-pleasing faction;
Lest in the Dresse my ouerthrow they threaten;
And of the Binders laugh to see me beaten.


O that I had such eloquence as might
Intreate the enuious Reader boue the rest,
(For his deepe wisedome censures all aright)
That by his lippes I may be alwaies blest!
If this suffice not for the enuiest,
Know then, I am an Epigrammatist.
Iohn Weeuer.