XII mery Iests, of the wyddow Edyth [by Walter Smith] |
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| 5. | The fyfth mery Iest, how this wydow deceyued a man & his wife
that were goynge on pilgremage: who layd out
for her .iiij. Nobles: and how she deceiued a Scriuener in London, whose name was Rowse. |
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 | XII mery Iests, of the wyddow Edyth |  |
The fyfth mery Iest, how this wydow deceyued a man & his wife that were goynge on pilgremage: who layd out for her .iiij. Nobles: and how she deceiued a Scriuener in London, whose name was Rowse.
But
more wyll I tel you in very deede,
Of this wydow, whom I pray god speede
Shortly after she walked by the Thems side
Not far from a way where folke did ride:
Of this wydow, whom I pray god speede
Shortly after she walked by the Thems side
Not far from a way where folke did ride:
Among all other a man and his wife,
She saw riding withouten stryfe,
Both being of meetly good age,
It semed that they were on pilgremage:
Toward Canterbery, or some other place,
Where as it pleased god of his grace:
But where ere they ryd, or to what end,
Right soone she made them both discend:
Downe from their caple to the cold ground,
For she fared as she wold her selfe drownd:
This goodmans name, was called Iohn Frank,
His wyfe Annes, a Dame full crank:
Both they came ronning in great hast,
Toward this wydow, fullsore a gast:
Leest that she ere they come neare,
Wolde spill her selfe, she made such cheare.
She saw riding withouten stryfe,
Both being of meetly good age,
It semed that they were on pilgremage:
Toward Canterbery, or some other place,
Where as it pleased god of his grace:
But where ere they ryd, or to what end,
Right soone she made them both discend:
Downe from their caple to the cold ground,
For she fared as she wold her selfe drownd:
This goodmans name, was called Iohn Frank,
His wyfe Annes, a Dame full crank:
Both they came ronning in great hast,
Toward this wydow, fullsore a gast:
Leest that she ere they come neare,
Wolde spill her selfe, she made such cheare.
Iohn Frank cryed, woman remember thee,
What intendest thou? aye benedicitie
Thynk on God and banysh the fowle feend
Beware of dispayre, thy selfe not shend:
What intendest thou? aye benedicitie
Thynk on God and banysh the fowle feend
Beware of dispayre, thy selfe not shend:
She stayed at that, and sighed sore,
And sayd belssed be you, I can no more:
For had ye not come the sooner, verely
I should haue ben damned perpetually,
But I pray you now, tel me what I shal doe
And sayd belssed be you, I can no more:
For had ye not come the sooner, verely
I should haue ben damned perpetually,
But I pray you now, tel me what I shal doe
Quod this frank come a way & with vs go
And tell vs further of your estate
Then (quod she) I haue great hate,
God I take to iudge for mine owne right,
My goods ar taken away by might:
Undone I am standyng on this ground,
I am scarcely left worth .iii hundreth pound,
As in mouable substance, beside a lytell lande,
Whiche mine husbande left vnto my hand,
For she sayd, that her husbande was a great man
Of laude, and sayd that he was {best faith}
God assoyle his soule: quod she: he was kind to me
And I trust, I quyt his kyndenes quod she)
For all folke saiyng, God forgeue them.
And tell vs further of your estate
Then (quod she) I haue great hate,
God I take to iudge for mine owne right,
My goods ar taken away by might:
Undone I am standyng on this ground,
I am scarcely left worth .iii hundreth pound,
As in mouable substance, beside a lytell lande,
Whiche mine husbande left vnto my hand,
For she sayd, that her husbande was a great man
Of laude, and sayd that he was {best faith}
God assoyle his soule: quod she: he was kind to me
And I trust, I quyt his kyndenes quod she)
For all folke saiyng, God forgeue them.
This Frank desyred herto walke with hym,
As farre as London, and he would do his payne,
That she might be restored agayne
And the malefactors punished what soeuer they be
Wydow dread ye nothyng, quod he,
But come on this way in the name of our lorde,
And I shall bryng you where ye shalt be at boord
With a frende of myne, in an honest howse,
The good mannes sir name is called Rowse:
There ye shall be honestly intreated,
But where is the Stuffe wherof ye speaked?
As farre as London, and he would do his payne,
That she might be restored agayne
And the malefactors punished what soeuer they be
Wydow dread ye nothyng, quod he,
But come on this way in the name of our lorde,
And I shall bryng you where ye shalt be at boord
With a frende of myne, in an honest howse,
The good mannes sir name is called Rowse:
But where is the Stuffe wherof ye speaked?
At Kyngston, at Kyngston then quod she
I care not muche for it, so mot I thee,
Ne for all this world, and therwith she gan wepe
I care not muche for it, so mot I thee,
Ne for all this world, and therwith she gan wepe
This Frankes hart than in his body lepe,
This game thought be goeth fayre and well.
This game thought be goeth fayre and well.
He requyred her no more to tell,
As at that tyme: but went foorthryght
And came to their lodgyng before nyght.
To Frankes frende, as I tolde you before,
A Scryuener he was, and wrought full sore,
To hym they were welcome and welcome agayn
And specially, whē Frank had tould him certain
What woman she was, and of what substance.
As at that tyme: but went foorthryght
And came to their lodgyng before nyght.
To Frankes frende, as I tolde you before,
A Scryuener he was, and wrought full sore,
To hym they were welcome and welcome agayn
And specially, whē Frank had tould him certain
What woman she was, and of what substance.
Then she tould the Scryuener of the great dystance
That she was at for her ryght,
And much wrong she had by meanes of a knight
whiche shalbe nameles as yet, (quod she)
Tyll I see my tyme auenged for to bee.
God wyll sende me once a frende I truste
Before whiche tyme, I can take no rest,
Nother in body, nor in conscience.
That she was at for her ryght,
And much wrong she had by meanes of a knight
whiche shalbe nameles as yet, (quod she)
Tyll I see my tyme auenged for to bee.
God wyll sende me once a frende I truste
Before whiche tyme, I can take no rest,
Nother in body, nor in conscience.
Tary ye here, sayd ye Scryuener, go ye not hence
And we shall haue frendes ynow for money,
I wyll not sticke for that truely quod she,
Howbeit my money is almost spent,
But I haue other thynges, whiche shalbe hent,
And money made therof me to defende,
I neuer had that Iewell, so God me mende,
In all my lyfe, but could finde in myne hert,
In tyme of neede, therwith to depart.
At Kyngston on Temmes I haue certayne Plate,
Xl. poundes wurthe for all this mortall hate.
And other thynges withall els I beshrewe some
She desyred her Hoste to her for to come,
I haue quod she to tell you in priuitie:
Step ye a lytell apart, let your busynes bee,
Into the shop they go out of the hall,
And than she began for to tell hym all,
And more too by an hundreth lyes,
The Scryuener thanked her .xl. sythes,
For she had made to hym graunt
Of part of her Plate, wherof she mate vaunt,
And the keepyng of altogether he shuld haue
In Othe she sware, so God her saue
Of all her treasure, she cared not a myte,
So that she might her enemyes acquyte.
But Hoste quod she, my friende leefe and dere,
I pray you of your good counsell here:
This wretched worlde I am mynded to forsake,
And chastytie for to avowe and take,
All my causes I am content to resine
Into your handes, myne owne Hoste myne,
Doo as ye lyst, be it good or yll,
Ye shall haue all to order at your wyll:
The Scryuener sayd, gramercy Maistresse,
Forsothe quod he, ye intende well doubtlesse,
If ye wyll do as ye say, I holde well withall
Than he called Iohn Franke out of the Hall,
And made hym preuie vnto euery thyng.
She said vnto thē both, that she ought offeryng
To Sainct Sauiours, and she would very fayne
To pay her Offeryng, and then returne agayne.
And after she said, that she would desire
Her Hoste to wryte her Testament for hyre
And last wyll whyle she were in good mynde,
So discretly that as for vnkinde,
Her frendes should not hold her another day,
whan that her presence is hence away.
And we shall haue frendes ynow for money,
I wyll not sticke for that truely quod she,
Howbeit my money is almost spent,
But I haue other thynges, whiche shalbe hent,
And money made therof me to defende,
I neuer had that Iewell, so God me mende,
In all my lyfe, but could finde in myne hert,
In tyme of neede, therwith to depart.
Xl. poundes wurthe for all this mortall hate.
And other thynges withall els I beshrewe some
She desyred her Hoste to her for to come,
I haue quod she to tell you in priuitie:
Step ye a lytell apart, let your busynes bee,
Into the shop they go out of the hall,
And than she began for to tell hym all,
And more too by an hundreth lyes,
The Scryuener thanked her .xl. sythes,
For she had made to hym graunt
Of part of her Plate, wherof she mate vaunt,
And the keepyng of altogether he shuld haue
In Othe she sware, so God her saue
Of all her treasure, she cared not a myte,
So that she might her enemyes acquyte.
But Hoste quod she, my friende leefe and dere,
I pray you of your good counsell here:
This wretched worlde I am mynded to forsake,
And chastytie for to avowe and take,
All my causes I am content to resine
Into your handes, myne owne Hoste myne,
Doo as ye lyst, be it good or yll,
Ye shall haue all to order at your wyll:
The Scryuener sayd, gramercy Maistresse,
Forsothe quod he, ye intende well doubtlesse,
If ye wyll do as ye say, I holde well withall
Than he called Iohn Franke out of the Hall,
And made hym preuie vnto euery thyng.
She said vnto thē both, that she ought offeryng
To Sainct Sauiours, and she would very fayne
To pay her Offeryng, and then returne agayne.
Her Hoste to wryte her Testament for hyre
And last wyll whyle she were in good mynde,
So discretly that as for vnkinde,
Her frendes should not hold her another day,
whan that her presence is hence away.
The Scryuener & Frank both, praysed her gretly
For her good purpose: and said to her truely,
To performe your Pylgremage, it is well done,
And I my selfe shall wayt you vpon
Quod Iohn Franke, and eke I wyll prouyde,
A Mayden seruant, to walke by your side.
To ward Saynt Sauiours in haste she yede,
As ye haue heard beyng accompanied.
For her good purpose: and said to her truely,
To performe your Pylgremage, it is well done,
And I my selfe shall wayt you vpon
Quod Iohn Franke, and eke I wyll prouyde,
A Mayden seruant, to walke by your side.
To ward Saynt Sauiours in haste she yede,
As ye haue heard beyng accompanied.
Rowsys wyues best Kyrttyll and Gowne
She weared on her backe throw the towne,
Which was lent her of good affeccion,
Because that her owne was welnye done
She weared on her backe throw the towne,
Which was lent her of good affeccion,
Because that her owne was welnye done
Frank was her amner, & layd out to the poore,
By the way as they went, & at the Church dore:
Of his owne proper money, which did amount
To the some of .ii. Marks, by true account.
And while they were forth this Rowse ye Scriuener
Sent to Kingston for to enquyre
Of her treasure there being in mew,
But in all the towne, she was not worth a q.
How be it, she was there, full well I know
The people laughed all on a row:
By the way as they went, & at the Church dore:
Of his owne proper money, which did amount
To the some of .ii. Marks, by true account.
And while they were forth this Rowse ye Scriuener
Sent to Kingston for to enquyre
Of her treasure there being in mew,
But in all the towne, she was not worth a q.
How be it, she was there, full well I know
The people laughed all on a row:
Home goeth the messenger and told in hast,
Unto the Scriuener all this quoynt cast:
Unto the Scriuener all this quoynt cast:
By coks soule (quod he) it is not so I hope,
Els (quod the seruant) hang me with a rope.
For I haue enquyred substancyally
In euery place I tel you by and by
In euery place I tel you by and by
By our Lady masse then all is not right,
But whist no more, she wyll be heare to night
My cosen Frank wyl not let her depart away,
Thou shalt heare other tidings to morow or day.
But whist no more, she wyll be heare to night
My cosen Frank wyl not let her depart away,
Thou shalt heare other tidings to morow or day.
At fiue of the clocke in the after noone,
These Pilgrims came home ful soone:
And anon was layd to this widows charge,
With hye words out at large:
Her falced deceipt from poynt to poynt
Than stoode she in great disioynt,
And no reason could she aledge nor say,
For her excuse, but gan for to pray:
These Pilgrims came home ful soone:
And anon was layd to this widows charge,
With hye words out at large:
Her falced deceipt from poynt to poynt
Than stoode she in great disioynt,
And no reason could she aledge nor say,
For her excuse, but gan for to pray:
Nay then sayd ye Scriuener, god geve me sorow,
How be it thou shalt tary heare tyl to morow
And then forth shalt thou, sterk belly naked,
With dogs arrand quen, thou shalt be bayted.
The Scriuener was halfe ashamed of this,
And at .iii. of the cloke, when he rose to pisse
He put forth his gest on the backside,
Without companyon or any guide.
Her Gowne and her kyrtle be tooke away,
And Frank went to Fullam on the next day:
Deferring his pylgremage to Caunterbery
Full sad he was and nothyng mery:
His mony was gone and spent indede
The blessed Marter quit him his mede.
How be it thou shalt tary heare tyl to morow
And then forth shalt thou, sterk belly naked,
With dogs arrand quen, thou shalt be bayted.
The Scriuener was halfe ashamed of this,
And at .iii. of the cloke, when he rose to pisse
He put forth his gest on the backside,
Without companyon or any guide.
Her Gowne and her kyrtle be tooke away,
And Frank went to Fullam on the next day:
Deferring his pylgremage to Caunterbery
Full sad he was and nothyng mery:
His mony was gone and spent indede
The blessed Marter quit him his mede.
FINIS.
| XII mery Iests, of the wyddow Edyth | |