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The Fyrst Boke of the Introduction of Knowledge made by Andrew Borde

... A Compendyous Regyment or A Dyetary of Helth made in Mountpyllier, compyled by Andrewe Boorde ... Barnes in the Defence of the Berde: a Treatyse made, answerynge the Treatyse of Doctor Borde vpon Berdes: Edited, with a life of Andrew Boorde, and large extracts from his Breuyary by F. J. Furnivall
Boorde, Andrew (1490?-1549)

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The fyrst boke of the Introduction of knowledge.
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The treatyse answerynge the boke of Berdes,
  
Barnes in the defence of the Berde.

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111

The fyrst boke of the Introduction of knowledge.

The whych dothe teache a man to speake parte of all maner of languages, and to know the vsage and fashion of all maner of countreys. And for to know the moste parte of all maner of coynes of money, the whych is currant in euery region.

112

To the ryght honorable and gracyous lady Mary doughter of our souerayne Lorde kyng Henry the .viii. Andrew borde of phisyk doctor, doth surrender humble commendacion wyth honour and helth.
116

1. The fyrst chapter treateth of the naturall dysposicion of an Englyshman, and of the noble realme of England, & of the money that there is vsed.

I am an English man, and naked I stand here,
Musyng in my mynde what rayment I shal were;
For now I wyll were thys, and now I wyl were that;
Now I wyl were I cannot tel what.
All new fashyons be plesaunt to me;
I wyl haue them, whether I thryue or thee.
117

Now I am a frysker, all men doth on me looke;
What should I do, but set cocke on the hoope?
What do I care, yf all the worlde me fayle?
I wyll get a garment, shal reche to my tayle;
Than I am a minion, for I were the new gyse.
The next yere after this I trust to be wyse,
Not only in wering my gorgious aray,
For I wyl go to learnyng a hoole somers day;
I wyll learne Latyne, Hebrew, Greeke and Frenche,
And I wyl learne Douche, sittyng on my benche.
I do feare no man; all men feryth me;
I ouercome my aduersaries by land and by see;
I had no peere, yf to my selfe I were trew;
Bycause I am not so, dyuers times I do rew.
Yet I lake nothyng, I haue all thynge at wyll;
Yf I were wyse, and wolde holde my self styl,
And medel wyth no matters not to me partayning,
But euer to be trew to God and [to] my kynge.
But I haue suche matters rolling in my pate,
That I wyl speake and do, I cannot tell what;
No man shall let me, but I wyl haue my mynde,
And to father, mother, and freende, I wyl be vnkynde;
I wyll folow myne owne mynd and myn old trade;
Who shal let me, the deuyls nayles vnpared?
Yet aboue al thinges, new fashions I loue well,
And to were them, my thryft I wyl sell.
In all this worlde, I shall haue but a time;
Holde the cuppe, good felow, here is thyne and myne!
118

The Auctor respondith.

O good Englyshe-man, here what I shall say:
Study to haue learnyng, with vertue, night and day;
Leue thy swearyng, and set pryde a syde,
And cal thou for grace, that with thee it may byde;
Than shall al nacions, example of the take,
That thou hast subdued syn, for Iesus Christes sake.
And werkes of mercy, and charyte, do thou vse;
And al vyces and syn, vtterly refuse;
Than al countreys a confluence wyl haue to thee,
To haue knowledge of trueth and of the veryte,
Of lernyng of Englyshe, of maners also.
Iesus I beseche, to kepe thee from all wo,
And send thee euer fortune, and also much grace,
That in heauen thou mayst haue a restyng place.
122

The apendex to the fyrst Chapter, treatinge of Cornewall, and Cornyshe men.

Iche cham a Cornyshe man, al[e] che can brew;
It wyll make one to kacke, also to spew;
It is dycke and smoky, and also it is dyn;
It is lyke wash, as pygges had wrestled dryn.
Iche cannot brew, nor dresse Fleshe, nor vyshe;
Many volke do segge, I mar many a good dyshe.
Dup the dore, gos! iche hab some dyng to seg,
‘Whan olde knaues be dead, yonge knaues be fleg.”
Iche chaym yll afyngred, iche swere by my fay
Iche nys not eate no soole sens yester daye;
Iche wolde fayne taale ons myd the cup;
Nym me a quart of ale, that iche may it of sup.
A, good gosse, iche hab a toome, vyshe, and also tyn;
Drynke, gosse, to me, or els iche chyl begyn.
God! watysh great colde, and fynger iche do abyd!
Wyl your bedauer, gosse, come home at the next tyde.
Iche pray God to coun him wel to vare,
That, whan he comit home, myd me he do not starre
For putting a straw dorow his great net.
Another pot of ale, good gosse, now me fet;
For my bedauer wyl to London, to try the law,
To sew Tre poll pen, for waggyng of a straw.
Now, gosse, farewell! yche can no lenger abyde;
Iche must ouer to the ale howse at the yender syde;
123

And now come myd me, gosse, I thee pray,
And let vs make mery, as longe as we may.
smoky and ropye,
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This verse was originally printed as prose.


and neuer a good sope,
in moste places it is worse and worse,
pitie it is them to curse;
for wagginge of a straw
they wyl go to law,
and al not worth a hawe,
playinge so the dawe.

2. The second chapytre treateth of Wales. And of the natural disposicion of Welshmen. Teaching an Englyshman to speake some Welsh.

I am a Welshman, and do dwel in Wales,
I haue loued to serche boudgets, & looke in males;
126

I loue not to labour, nor to delue nor to dyg;
My fyngers be lymed lyke a lyme twyg;
And wherby ryches I do not greatly set,
Syth all hys fysshe that commeth to the net.
I am a gentylman, and come of brutes blood;
My name is, ap Ryce, ap Dauy, ap Flood.
I loue our Lady, for I am of hyr kynne;
He that doth not loue hyr, I be-shrew his chynne.
My kyndred is ap hoby, ap Ienkin, ap goffe.
Bycause I do go barlegged, I do cach the coffe;
And if I do go barlegged, it is for no pryde;
I haue a gray cote, my body for to hyde.
I do loue cawse boby, good rosted chese;
And swyshe swashe metheglyn I take for my fees;
And yf I haue my harpe, I care for no more;
It is my treasure, I do kepe it in store;
For my harpe is made of a good mares skyn,
The stringes be of horse heare, it maketh a good din;
My songe, and my voyce, and my harpe doth agree,
Muche lyke the hussyng of a homble be;
Yet in my countrey I do make good pastyme,
In tellyng of prophyces whyche be not in ryme.
Thus endeth of Wales.
131

3. The thyrde Chapter treateth of Irland. And of the naturall disposicion of an Irishe man, & of theyr money and speche.

I am an Iryshe man, in Irland I was borne;
I loue to weare a saffron shert, all though it be to-torne.
My anger and my hastynes doth hurt me full sore;
I cannot leaue it, it creaseth more and more;
And although I be poore, I haue an angry hart.
I can kepe a Hobby, a gardyn, and a cart;
I can make good mantyls, and good Irysh fryce;
I can make aqua vite, and good square dyce.
Pediculus other whyle do byte me by the backe,
Wherfore dyvers times I make theyr bones cracke.
I do loue to eate my meate, syttyng vpon the ground,
And do lye in oten strawe, slepyng full sound.
I care not for ryches, but for meate and drynke;
And dyuers tymes I wake, whan other men do wynke.
I do vse no potte to seeth my meate in,
Wherfore I do boyle it in a bestes skyn;
132

Than after my meate, the brothe I do drynk vp,
I care not for my masȝer, neyther cruse nor cup.
I am not new fangled, nor neuer wyll be;
I do lyue in pouerty, in myne owne countre.
Thus endeth the maner and speche of Irland.

4. The fourth chapter treateth of Scotland, and the natural disposycion of a Scotyshe man. And of theyr money, and of theyr speche.

I am a Scotyshe man, and trew I am to Fraunce;
In euery countrey, myselfe I do auaunce;
I wyll boost myselfe, I wyll crake and face;
I loue to be exalted, here and in euery place.
an Englyshe man I cannot naturally loue,
Wherfore I offend them, and my lorde aboue;
He that wyll double with any man,
He may spede wel, but I cannot tell whan.
I am a Scotyshe man, and haue dissymbled muche,
and in my promyse I haue not kept touche.
136

Great morder and theft in tymes past I haue vsed;
I trust to God hereafter, such thynges shal be refused.
And what worde I do speake, be it in myrth or in borde,
“The foule euyll” shalbe at the end of my worde;
Yet wyl I not chaunge my apparell nor aray,
although the French men go neuer so gay.
139

The .v. chapytre treateth of Shotland and of Fryceland & of the naturall disposycion of the people of the countrey.

I Was borne in Shotland, my countrey is ful colde;
And I was borne in Friceland, where muche fysh is sold;
For corne and for shoes, our fyshe we do sell;
And symple rayment doth serue us full well;
Wyth dagswaynes and roudges we be content;
And our chiefe fare, in the tyme of Lent,
Fyshe, at any tyme seldome we do lacke.
But I beshrew the louse that pyncheth vs by the back!
140

The .vi. Chapter treateth of Norway & of Islonde, and of the natural disposicion of the people of the countrey, and of theyr money and speche.

141

I Am a poore man, borne in Norway;
Hawkes and fysh of me marchauntes do by all daye.
And I was borne in Islond, as brute as a beest;
Whan I ete candels ends, I am at a feest.
Talow and raw stockfysh, I do loue to ete;
In my countrey it is right good meate;
Raw fysh and flesh I eate whan I haue nede;
Upon such meates I do loue to feed.
Lytle I do care for matyns or masse,
And for any good rayment, I do neuer passe;
Good beastes skyns I do loue for to were,
Be it the skins of a wolfe or of a beare.
143

The .vii. Chapytre sheweth howe the auctor of thys boke, how he had dwelt in Scotland and other Ilandes, did go thorow and rounde about Christendom, and oute of Christendome; declarynge the properties of al the regions, countreys, and prouynces, the whiche he did trauel thorow.

Of noble England, of Ireland and of Wales,
And also of Scotland, I haue tolde som tales;
144

And of other Ilondes I haue shewed my mynd;
He that wyl trauell, the truthe he shall fynd.
After my conscyence I do wryte truly,
Although that many men wyl say that I do lye;
But for that matter, I do greatly pas,
But I am as I am, but not as I was.
And where [as] my metre is ryme dogrell,
The effect of the whych no wyse man wyll depell,
For he wyll take the effect of my mynde,
Although to make meter I am full blynde.
146

The .viii. Chapiter treateth of Flaunders, And of the naturall disposicion of a Fleming, and of their money and of their speche.

147

I Am a Flemyng, what for all that,
Although I wyll be dronken other whyles as a rat?
“Buttermouth Flemyng,” men doth me call;
Butter is good meate, it doth relent the gall.
To my butter I take good bread and drynke;
To quaf to moch of it, it maketh me to wynk.
Great studmares we bryng vp in Flaunders;
We sell them into England, wher they get the glaunders.
148

The .ix. chapiter tretyth of Selond, and Holond, and of the naturall dysposycyon of a Selondder, and Holander, & of their money and of theyr speche.

I Am a Selondder, and was borne in Selond;
My cuntre is good, it is a propre Ilond.
And I am a Holander; good cloth I do make;
To muche of Englyshe bere, dyuers tymes I do take.
149

We lacke no butter that is vnsauery and salt,
Therfore we quaf the beer, that causeth vs to halt.
We haue haruest heryng, and good hawkes,
With great elys, and also great walkes:
Wyth such thynges, other londes we help and fede;
Suche marchaundise doth helpe vs at nede;
Yet to vs it shoulde be a great passyon
To chaunge our rayment or our olde fashyon.
150

The .x. Chapiter treatyth of Braban, and of the natural disposicion of a Brabander, of theyr speche and of theyr money.

I Was borne in Braban, that is both gentil and free;
All nacyons at all tymes be well-come to mee.
I do vse martes, dyuers tymes in the yere;
And of all thynges, I do loue good Englysh beere.
In Anwarpe and in Barow, I do make my martes;
There doth Englysh marchauntes cut out theyr partes.
I haue good sturgyon, and other good fyshe;
I loue euer to haue good meate in my dyshe;
I haue good lodgyng, and also good chere,
I haue good wyne, and good Englyshe bere;
Yet had I rather to be drowned in a beere barell
Than I wolde chaunge the fashion of my olde apparel.
152

The .xi. Chapter treteth of Gelderlond & of Cleue londe, and of the naturall disposicion of the people of those cuntres, & of their money & their speche.

I Am of Gelderlond, & brought vp in the lond of Cleue;
In many thynges few men wyl me beleue;
I loue brawlyng and war, and also fyghtyng;
Nyght and day do proull, to get me a lyuyng;
Yet for all that, I am euer poore and bare,
Therfore I do lyue styl in penury and care;
For lack of meat, my chyldren do wepe,
Wherfore I do wake whan other men do slepe.
The fashyon of my rayment, chaunge I wyll not;
I am well contented whan I am warme and hot.
154

The .xii. chapyter tretyth of the lond of Gulyk & of Lewke, and of the naturall dysposycion of the people of the countres and of theyr money and of theyr speche.

I Was borne in Gulyke; In Luke I was brought vp;
Euer I loue to drynke of a full cup.
My geese ones a yere I do clyp and pull;
I do sell my fethers as other men doth wull;
If my goos go naked, it is no great matter,
She can shyft for her selfe yf she haue meat & water.
The fashyon of my rayment, be it hot or cold,
I wyl not leue in ony wyse, be it neuer so old.
155

The .xiii. Chapiter doth speake of base Almayn, and of the disposicion of the people of the countrey; of theyr speche & of theyr money.

I Am a base Doche man, borne in the Nether-lond;
156

Diuerse times I am cupshoten, on my feet I cannot stand;
Dyuers tymes I do pysse vnderneth the borde;
My reason is suche, I can not speke a word;
Than am I tonge tayd, my fete doth me fayle,
And than I am harneysed in a cote of mayle;
Than wyl I pysse in my felowes shoes and hose,
Than I am as necessary as a waspe in ones nose.
Now am I harnest, and redy, Doche for to speke;
Vppon the beere van in the cruse my anger I wyl wreek.
A lomp of salt butter for me is good meat;
My knees shall go bare to kepe me out of heat;
Yet my olde cote I wyl not leaue of,
For if I should go naked, I may catche the cof.
159

The .xiiii. Chapter treateth of hyghe Almayne or hyghe Doch lond, and of the dysposycyon of the people, and of theyr speche and of theyr money.

I Am a hygh Almayne, sturdy and stout,
I laboure but lytle in the world about;
I am a yonker; a fether I wyll were;
Be it of gose or capon, it is ryght good gere.
Wyth symple thynges I am well content;
I lacke good meat, specyally in Lent.
My rayment is wouyn moche lyke a sacke;
Whan I were it, it hangeth lyke a Iack.
Euery man doth knowe my symple intencyon,
That I wyll not chaunge my olde fathers fashyon.
162

The .xv. chapter treateth of Denmark and of the natural dysposycion of the people, and of theyr mony and speche.

I Am a Dane, and do dwell in Denmarke,
Seldom I do vse to set my selfe to warke
163

I lyue at ese, and therfore I am content;
Of al tymes in the yere I fare best in Lent;
I wyl ete beenes, and good stock fysh—
How say you, is not that a good dysh?—
In my apparel I was neuer nyce,
I am content to were rough fryce;
I care not if euery man I do tel,
Symple rayment shal serue me ful wel;
My old fashion I do vse to kepe,
And in my clothes dyuers tymes I slepe;
Thus I do passe the dayes of my lyfe,
Other whyle in bate, and other whyle in stryfe;
Wysdome it war to lyue in peace and rest;
They that can so do, shal fynd it most best.
164

The .xvi. Chapter treateth of Saxsony, and of the natural disposicion of the Saxsons, and of their mony, and of theyr speche.

I am a Saxson, serching out new thynges;
Of me many be glad to here new tidinges.
I do persist in my matters and opinions dayly,
The which maketh the Romayns vengians on me to cry;
Yet my opinions I wyl neuer leue;
The cursyng that they gyue me, to them I do bequeue;
The fashion of my rayment I wyl euer vse,
And the Romayns fashion I vtterly refuse.
166

The .xvii. chapter treateth of the kyngdom of Boeme, and of the dysposycion of the people of the countre, of theyr monye, and speche.

I Am of the kyngdome of Boeme,
I do not tel al men what I do meane;
For the popes curse I do lytle care;
The more the fox is cursed, the better he doth fare.
Euer sens Wyclif dyd dwel wyth me,
I dyd neuer set by the popes auctorite.
In certayn articles Wyclif dyd not wel,
To reherse them now I nede not to tell,
For of other matters I do speke of nowe;
Yf we do not wel, God spede the plow!
Of our apparrel we were neuer nyce;
We be content yf our cotes be of fryce.
168

The .xviii. chapter treateth of the kyngdome of Poll, and of the naturall dysposicion of the people, and of theyr mony and spech.

I Am a power man of the kyngdom of Pol;
Dyuers tymes I am troubled wyth a heuy nol.
Bees I do loue to haue in euery place,
The wex and the hony I do sel a pace;
I do sel flex, and also pyche and tar,
Marchaunts cometh to me, fetchyng it a far.
My rayment is not gorgious, but I am content
To were such thynges as God hath me sent.
170

The .xix. chapter treateth of the kyngdome of Hungary, and of the natural dysposision of the people, and of theyr mony & spech.

I do dwel in the kyngdome of Hungary;
Bytwyxt the Turkes and me is lytle marcy;
And although they be strong, proud, and stout,
Other whyle I rap them on the snowt;
Yet haue they gotten many of our towns,
And haue won of our londs and of our bowns;
If we of other nacions might haue any helpe,
We wold make them to fle lyke a dog or a whelp.
Out of my countre I do syldome randge;
The fashion of my apparel I do neuer chaunge.
171

The .xx. chapter treateth of the lond of Grece, & of Constantinenople, and of the naturall disposicion of the people, and of theyr mony and speche.

172

I Am a Greke, of noble spech and bloud,
Yet the Romayns with me be mervellous wood;
For theyr wodnes and cursyng I do not care;
The more that I am cursyd, the better I do fare.
Al nacions vnder them, they woulde fayne haue;
Yf they so had, yet would they more craue;
Vnder their subiection I would not lyue,
For all the pardons of Rome if they wold me geue.
175

The .xxi. chapter treateth of the kyngdome of Sicell, and of Calabre, And of the naturall disposicion of the people, and of theyr mony and speche.

I was borne in the kyngdome of Sycel;
I care for no man, so that I do wel.
And I was borne in Calabry,
Where they do pynche vs many a fly.
176

We be nayboures to the Italyons,
Wherfore we loue no newe fashions;
For wyth vs, except he be a lord or a Grecyon,
Hys rayment he wyl not tourne from the old fashyon.

The .xxii. chapter treateth of the kingdome of Naples, and of the naturall dysposicion of the people and of theyr speche and of there money.

In the kyngdome of Naples I do dwel;
I can nod with my hed, thynkyng euel or well.
Whan other men do stond in great dout,
I know how my matters shalbe brought about;
177

The fashyon of my rayment I wyl neuer leue;
Al new fashyons, to Englond I do bequeue;
I am content with my meane aray,
Although other nacions go neuer so gay.

The .xxiii. chapter treateth of Italy and Rome, and of the naturall dysposycyon of the people, and of theyr money & speche.

178

I am a Romayne, in Italy I was borne;
I lacke no vytayles, nor wyne, breade, nor corne;
All thynges I haue at pleasure and at wyll;
Yf I were wyse, I wolde kepe me so styl;
Yet all the worlde I wolde haue subiecte to me,
But I am a-frayd it wyll neuer be.
Euery nacion haue spyed my fashions out;
To set nowght by me now they haue no dout.
My church I do let fall; prophanes your[?] is vsed;
Vertu in my countre is greatly abused;
Yet in my apparel I am not mutable,
Althowh in other theynges I am founde variable.
181

The .xxiiii. chapter treateth of Venys, and of the naturall dysposicyon of the people of the country, of ther mony and of theyr spech.

I am a Venesien both sober and sage;
In all myne actes and doynges I do not outrage;
Grauite shal be founde euer in me,
Specially yf I be out of my countrey.
My apparell is ryche, very good and fyne.
All my possessyon is not fully myne,
For part of my possession, I am come tributor to the Turke.
To lyue in rest and peace, in my cytye I do lourke.
Some men do saye I do smell of the smoke;
I passe not for that, I haue money in my pooke
To pacyfye the Pope, the Turke, and the Iue:
I say no more, good felow, now adew!
186

The .xxv. Chapter treateth of Lombardye, and of the natural dysposicion of the people, and of theyr speche and of theyr monye.

I am a Lombort, and subtyl crafft I haue,
To deceyue a gentyl man, a yeman, or a knaue;
I werke by polyse, subtylyte, and craught, [craft]
The whych, other whyle, doth bryng me to nought.
I am the next neyghbour to the Italion;
We do bryng many thynges out of al fashyon;
We care for no man, & no man caryth for vs;
Our proud hartes maketh vs to fare the worse.
187

In our countre we eate Adders, snayles, and frogges,
And above al thyng we be sure of kur dogges;
For mens shyns they wyl ly in wayte;
It is a good sport to se them so to bayte.
188

The .xxvi. chapter treateth of Iene and of the Ianuayes, and of theyr spech, and of their mony.

I am a marchaunt; borne I was in Iene;
Whan I sell my ware, fewe men knoweth what I mene;
I make good treacle, and also fustyan;
Wyth such thynges I crauft wyth many a poer man;
Other of my marchaundes I do set at a great pryce;
I counsel them be ware lest on them I set the dyce;
I do hyt dyuerce tymes; som men on the thomes.
Wher soeuer I ryde or go, I wyl not lese my cromes.
In my apperel, the old fashyon I do kepe;
Yf I should do other wyse, it would cause me to wepe.
Better it is for a man to haue his rayment tore,
Than to runne by-hynd-hande, and not to be before.
189

Gorgyouse apparell maketh a bare purse;
It bringeth a man by-hynd, & maketh him worse & worse.
190

The .xxvii. Chapter treateth of Fraunce, and of our prouences the whyche be vnder Fraunce, and of the natural dysposicyon of the people, and of ther money and of theyr speche.

I am a French man, lusty and stout;
My rayment is iagged, and kut round a-bout;
I am ful of new inuencions,
And dayly I do make new toyes and fashions;
Al nacions of me example do take,
Whan any garment they go about to make.
194

The xxviii. chapter treateth of Catalony and of the kyngedome of Aragon, and of the naturall dysposycyon of the people, and of theyr money and of theyr spech.

I am borne in Catalony; the Emproure dwelleth wyth mee;
Why he so doth, I can not tel the.
195

Whan I fayght with the Mors, I set al at sixt or seuyn;
He that is in hel thynketh no other heuen.
And I was borne in Aragon, where that I do dwel.
Masyl baken, and sardyns, I do eate and sel,
The whych doth make Englyshe mens chykes lene,
That neuer after to me they wyll come agene:
Thus may you know howe that we do fare,
The countres next vs al be very bare;
We haue no chere but by the se syd,
Although our countres be both large and wyde.
Castyll, and Spane, and we, kepe on vse;
They that leke not vs, let them vs refuce;
And playnly now I tell you my intencyon,
My rayment I chaunge not from the olde fashion.
196

The xxix. Chapter treateth of Andalase, of Cyuel, and of the kyngedome of Portyngale, and of the natural dysposicyon of the people, and of ther speche, and of theyr money.

I was borne in Andalase
Wher many marchantes commeth to me,
Some to bay, and some to sel;
In our marchantes we sped ful wel.
And I was borne in Cyuel, lackyng nothyng;
Al nacions, marchauntes to me doth bryng.
And I was borne in the kyngdome of Portyngale;
Of spices & of Wyne I do make great sale.
By marchauntes, al my country doth stond
Or els had I very poer land.
Yf any man for marchauntes wyl come to vs,
Let hym bryng with hym a good fat purse,
Than shal they haue of vs theyr full intencion,
And know that in our rayment we kepe the olde fashion.
198

The .xxx. chapter treateth of the natural disposicion of Spanyardes, of the countrey, of the money, and of the speche.

I am a Spaynyard, and Castylyon I can speke;
In dyuers countreys I do wander and peke;
I do take great labour, and also great payne;
To get a poore lyuyng I am glad and fayne;
In my countrey I haue very poore fare,
And my house and my lodgyng is very bare.
A Spanyshe cloke I do vse for to were,
To hyde mine olde cote and myn other broken gere.
199

The .xxxi. chapter tretyth of the kyngdome of Castyle, & of Byscay, and of the natural disposicion of the people, and of there money & of theyr speche.

In the kyngdome of Castell borne I was,
And though I be poer, on it I do not passe;
200

Where so euer I do goe or ryde,
My cloke I wyl haue, and my skayne by my syde.
And I was borne in the prouince of Byscay;
My countrey is poer; who can say nay?
And though we haue no pastor nor grandge,
Yet our olde fashyon we do not chaunge.
202

The .xxxii. chapter treteth of the kingdome of Nauer, and of the naturall disposicyon of the people, and of theyr money and of theyr speche.

In the kyn[g]dome of Nauer I was brought vp,
Where there is lytle meate to dyne or suppe;
Sardyns and bacon shall fynde the Spanyard and me,
Wyth suche meate we be contente in all our countre:
What wolde other men, other meate craue?
Such meate as we do eate, such shall they haue.
In my apparell I do kepe the olde raate;
The Fraunch men with me preforse be at baate,
Not now, but in olde tymes past;
For now our amyte is full fast.
206

The .xxxiii. chapter treateth of Bion, and of Gascony, and of Lytle Briten, and of the natural disposicion of the people, and of theyr money and of theyr speche.

207

I was borne in Bion; ens English I was;
if I had be so styl, I wold not gretly pas.
And I was brought vp in gentyl Gascony;
For my good wyne I get money.
And I was borne in Litle Britten;
Of al nacions, I [hate] free Englyshe men:
Whan they be angry, lyke bees they do swarme;
I be-shromp them, they haue don me much harme.
Although I iag my hosen & my garment rounde aboute,
Yet it is a vantage to pick pendiculus owt.
208

The .xxxiiii. chapter treateth of Normandy & Picarde, and of the natural disposicion of the people, and of theyr spech and mony.

I was borne and brougt vp in gentyl Normandy;
And I am a man dwellyng in Pycardy;
We border vpon England; I wolde we war forder of;
For whan warre is, they maketh vs take the cof;
For than we do watche both nyght and day,
To prepare ordynaunce to kepe them away.
Yet we wyl kepe new fashyons of Fraunce,
Much lyke to players that is redy to daunce.
210

The .xxxv. chapter treateth of the Latyn man and the Englysh man, & where Laten is most vsed.

I am a Latyn man, and do dwel in euery place;
Thorow al Europ I dare shew my face;
Wyth the Romans and Italyon I haue dwelled longe;
I wyl seke other nacions, for they haue done wronge
In corruptyng my tonge and my ryalte,
Wherfore in other nacyons I loue to dwel and be,
And wher I shalbe dayly accept and vsed,
Regardyng not them where I am abused.

A responcion of the Englysh man.

I am an Englyshman; Latyn, welcome to me!
In thy tounge I am wel sped, & neuer was in thy countre;
For thou arte indyfferent here and in euery place,
If a man wyll study, and lerne the bokes a pace;
Wherfore bitwixt thee & me we wyl haue some alteracion,
That vnlerned men may know parte of our intencion.
212

The .xxxvi. chapter treteth of the Mores whyche do dwel in Barbary.

I am a blake More borne in Barbary;
Chrysten men for money oft doth me bye;
Yf I be vnchristend, marchauntes do not care,
They by me in markets, be I neuer so bare.
Yet wyll I be a good dylygent slaue,
Although I do stand in sted of a knaue;
I do gather fygges, and with some I whype my tayle:
To be angry wyth me, what shal it a-vayle?
214

The .xxxvii. Chapter tretyth of the natural disposicion of the Turkes, and of Turkey, and of theyr money and theyr spech.

I am a Turk, and Machamytes law do kepe;
I do proll for my pray whan other be a slepe;
My law wyllith me no swynes flesh to eate;
It shal not greatly forse, for I haue other meate.
In vsyng my rayment I am not varyable,
Nor of promis I am not mutable.
218

[_]

Chapter 38, relating to Egypt, contains no verse.

The .xxxix. Chapter treateth of the naturall disposicion of the Iues, and of Iury, and of theyr mony and of theyr speche.

I am an Hebrycyon; some call me a Iew;
To Iesu Chryst I was neuer trew.
I should kepe Moyses olde lawe;
I feare at length I shall proue a daw;
Many thynges of Moyses lawes do I not keepe;
I beleue not the prophetes; I lye to longe a sleepe.
305

The treatyse answerynge the boke of Berdes,

Compyled by Collyn clowte

306

To drynke with me, be not a ferde
For here ye se groweth neuer a berde.
I am a foole of Cocke lorellys bote
Callyng al knaues, to pull therin a rope.

307

To the ryght worshypfulle (Barnarde Barber), dwellynge in Banberye, Collyn Clowte surrendreth gretynge, with immortall thankes.
310

[The first parte of that songe]

[OMITTED] As longe as any berdes be worne,
Mockynge shall not be forborne;
But yet at length, his is the scorne.
I fere it not.
With berdyd men he wyll not drynke,
Bycause it doth in theyr berdes synke;
The cause therof, ye may soone thynke,
His berde in Flaunders ones dyd stynke,
Whiche by dystulacyon
Of a vomytacyon
Made suche dysturbacyon,
That it abored the nacyon.
I fere it not.
Some berdes, he saith, doth grow a pace,
To hyde an euyll coleryd face;
In fayth, his had an homlye grace,
When he was in that dronkyn case.
But sythe he doth this matter stere,
To make that shauynge shuld be dere,
I thynke it doth full well appere,
That foles had neuer lesse wyt in a yere.
I fere it not.
A berde, sayth he, wyl breyd moch care,
If that he with his mayster compare.
Here may ye proue a wyt full bare
That iudgeth so a man to fare.
What man lyuyng, I wold fayne knowe,
That for comparason letes his berde growe?
But yet, though that a spyghtful shrow
His spyghtfull wordes abrode doth blow,
I fere it not, &c.
311

Of berdes, he sayth, ther comms no gaynes,
& berdes quycknyth not the braynes.
Lo, how in Physyke he taketh paynes!
He merytes a busshel of brwers graynes!
He warneth also euery estate
To auoyde berdes, for fere of debate.
If men, lyke hym, shuld vse to prate,
His warnyng then shuld come to late,
I fere it not.
If berdes, also, a purse doth pycke,
As ye compare them to be lyke,
yet ye haue gotte more in one wycke,
Then berdes in .x. togyther may stryke.
For by castynge of a pyspotte,
ye haue pollyd many a grote;
yea, and moche more, God wotte,
By falshede ye haue gotte.
I fere it not.
Yet one thynge more, I wyll assayle:
The daunger of drynkyng ye do bewayle.
Beleue ye me, yf all do fayle,
In stede of a cup, ye shall haue a payle;
For you haue gyuen warnynge playne,
That berdyd men shall be full fayne
To brynge a cup, for theyr owne gayne,—
The more fole you, so to dysdayne!
I fere it not.
Note me well, for it is trewe,
Thoughe berdyd men ye wyll eschewe,
There be moche honyster men than you,
That wyl drynke long, or they do spewe
312

As you haue done, I knowe, or this.
wherfore I say, though so it is,
I wyll not tell that is amys;
yet wyll I tell some trewyth yewys.
I fere it not.
yet of one thynge that ye do treate,
Howe that a berde, in a great swete,
By lyke doth catche a k[n]auysshe hete:
Therby ye do a grete prayse gete,
For trewely vnfayned,
Your honyste is dystayned;
All though ye haue dysdayned,
Men knowe ye haue sustayned.
I fere it not.
Though in the wynter a dew wyl lye,
That dystylleth from the nose pryuelye;
To refrayne your cup ye pray then hartly;
And all is for superfluous glotonye.
For glotony is of suche a kynde,
That ende of excesse he can none fynde,
Tyll past is both the wyt and mynde;
So one of those ye be assynde.
I fere it not.
313

The seconde parte of that songe.

I lytell thought, ye were so wyse,
Berdes to deuyse of the new guyse;
But truely, for your enterpryse,
ye may go cast your wyt at dyse.
At syncke or syse, whiche so doth fall,
Fere ye not to cast at all;
For yf you lose, your lostes be small:
It is to dere, a tenys ball;
I fere it not.
A berde vpon his ouer lyppe,
ye saye wyll be a proper tryppe,
Wherby ye shall the better skyppe.
Go your wayes, I dare let you slyppe,
Where as be many more,
I thynke, by .xx. score,
In cocke lorelles bote, before
ye maye take an ore.
I fere it not.
Yet though that ye one thing do craue,
Which is, a muster deuyles berde to haue,
ye make me study, so God me saue!
If this peticion came not of a knaue,
Perhapes some other man dyd make it,
And so ye dyd vp take it;
But best ye were forsake it,
For fere of Pears go nakyt.
Nowe fere you that!
314

ye say some berdes be lyke lambes woll,
With lytell wyt within theyr skull:
‘Who goth a myle to sucke a bull,
Comes home a fole, and yet not full.’
And where ye wyshe them pekt with pyes,
That weres a berde, vnto theyr iyes:
Be wyse, take hede! suche homely spyes
Oftymes can spye your crafty lyes.
I fere it not.
But, syr, I praye you, yf you tell can,
Declare to me, when God made man,
(I meane by our forefather Adam)
Whyther that he had a berde than;
And yf he had, who dyd hym shaue,
Syth that a barber he coulde not haue.
Well, then, ye proue hym there a knaue,
Bycause his berde he dyd so saue.
I fere it not.
Christ & his apostles, ye haue declaryd,
That theyr berdes myght not be sparyd,
Nor to theyr berdes no berdes comparyd:
Trewe it is, yet we repayryd
By his vocacion, to folowe in generall
His disciples, both great and small;
And folowyng ther vse, we shuld not fal,
Nothynge exceptynge our berdes at all.
I fere it not.
Sampson, with many thousandes more
Of auncient phylosophers, full great store,
Wolde not be shauen, to dye therfore;
Why shulde you, then, repyne so sore?
A[d]myt that men doth Imytate
Thynges of antyquite, and noble state,
315

Such counterfeat thinges oftymes do mytygate
Moche ernest yre and debate.
I fere it not.
Therfore, to cease, I thynke be best;
For berdyd men wolde lyue in rest.
you proue yourselfe a homly gest,
So folysshely to rayle and iest;
For if I wolde go make in ryme,
Howe new shauyd men loke lyke scraped swyne,
& so rayle forth, from tyme to tyme,
A knauysshe laude then shulde be myne:
I fere it not.
What shulde auayle me to do so,
yf I shulde teache howe men shulde go,
Thynkynge my wyt moche better, lo,
Then any other, frende or fo?
I myght be imputed trewly
For a foole, that doth gloryfye
In my nowne selfe onelye;
I thynke you wyll it veryfye:
I fere it not.
And thus farewel, though I do wryght
To answere for berdes, by reason ryght;
yet vnberdyd men I do not spyght,
Though ye on berdes therin delyght.
And in concludynge of this thynge,
I praye God saue our noble kynge!
Berdes & vnberdyd, to heuen vs brynge,
Where as is Ioye euerlastynge!
I fere it not, &c.
Finis.
316

Barnes in the defence of the Berde.

Barnes, I say, yf thou be shent,
Bycause thou wantyst eloquence,
Desyre them, that thyne entent
May stonde all tymes for thy defence,
Consyderynge that thy hole pretence
Was more desyrous of vnyte
Then to enuent curyosyte.
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