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The Wiccamical Chaplet

a selection of original poetry; comprising smaller poems, serious and comic; classical trifles; sonnets; inscriptions and epitaphs; songs and ballads; mock-heroics, epigrams, fragments, &c. &c. Edited by George Huddesford
  
  

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 I. 
 II. 
 III. 
 IV. 
 V. 
 VI. 
 VII. 
 VIII. 
 IX. 
 X. 
 XI. 
 XII. 
 XIII. 
 XIV. 
 XV. 
 XVI. 
 XVII. 
 XVIII. 
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THE PYTHAGOREAN.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


204

THE PYTHAGOREAN.

Suggested by the perusal of a Pamphlet, entitled “An Essay on Abstinence from Animal Food, considered as a Moral Duty.”

[_]

The attribution of this poem is questionable.

1802.
Abstain from Flesh?” Josephus cries—
“'Twill make you candid, just, and wise.”
Observe this Scholar of the first-rate
The Doctrine he propounds illustrate.
That Candour sits enthron'd his heart on
Bear witness Percy! witness Warton!

205

The steady current of his Justice
One single instance proof I trust is
That no consideration checks:
He terms his Sovereign “Carnifex!

206

His Wisdom's of the self-same School;
The Miscreant deems his God a fool.
 

Dr. Percy, the present worthy Bishop of Dromore, whom Josephus attacks with scurrility that would discredit a Carman; and, to gratify his pique against him, falsifies a quotation from his own work. See the British Critic for May, 1795; Article “Scottish Songs.”

Mr. Thomas Warton, the late erudite and respectable Historian of English Poetry, the marked object of our Essay-writer's malignant invective.

“The publication of the work (the History of English Poetry) raised him (Mr. Warton) up an antagonist in the anonymous writer of “Observations on the three first Volumes of the History of English Poetry, in a Familiar Letter to the Author.” A writer, of whom it is no harsh judgment to pronounce, that the acuteness of his mind is greater than its elegance; and that, whatever other obligations he may be under to his learning, he certainly is not indebted to it for any peculiar softness of manner. I would not willingly speak of any man otherwise than with temper; but I feel it incumbent on me to mention this tract, and impossible to mention it but with severity.

“From the unqualified and scurrilous language of abuse which this anonymous writer employs, I am at little pains to attempt to defend the Historian, for they serve to reflect disgrace on him alone who can employ them.” Warton's Works, by R. Mant, Vol. I pages 65, 66.

“The Kings of England have from a remote period been devoted to hunting, in which pursuit one of them, and the son of another, lost his life. “James the First,” according to Scaliger, “was merciful, except at the Chace, where he was cruel; was very angry when he could not catch the Stag: God, he said, is enraged against me, so it is that I shall have him: when he had him he would put his arm all entire into the belly and entrails of the beast.” This Anecdote may be parallelled with the following of One of his Successors: “The Hunt on Tuesday last (as stated in the General Advertiser, March 4, 1784) commenced near Salthill, and afforded a chace of upwards of fifty miles: His Majesty was present at the death of the chace, near Tring in Hertfordshire. It is the first deer that has been run to death for many months; and, when opened, its heart strings were found to be quite rent, as is supposed with the force of running: Siste vero, tandem, Carnifex!” Essay on Abstinence from Animal Food, pages 88, 89.

“Perhaps that voice or cry so nearly resembling the human, with which Providence has endued so many different animals, might purposely be given to them to move our pity, and prevent those cruelties we are too apt to inflict upon our fellow creatures.

Note. “It may be so, but it is evident that Providence has not, in this instance, had all the success she intended. She would have acted more wisely, when she was about it, to have infused a little humanity into the mind of her favourite.” Essay, p. 99, 100.

Just, candid, wise Pythagoréan,
Feed thou on pulse—roast-beef feed me on!
When, curst with a R---tsonian palate,
Nebuchadnezzar liv'd on Salad,
His brutal appetite to suit,
God gave th'Offender heart of brute,
And to the desert sent him, where he
Din'd at the greensweard Ordinary
With Nature's Commoners, his peers,
Sheep, horses, asses, calves and steers.
This Vegetable Regimen
Restor'd him to himself again;
Cur'd in sev'n years of his conceit,
He bless'd his Maker, as 'twas meet.
Methinks I hear Josephus cry:
“What if he did! so will not I;”

207

For of a much superior quality
To Neb's is Joe's brutality:
Unchang'd, and vegetable proof
As any Beast's that wears a hoof.
Sev'n years, and three times sev'n beside,
Has Joe abjur'd roast, boil'd and fried:
But vegetation nought supplies
Of pow'r the Churl to humanize:
Whether he writes, or quotes, or prates,
Still heart of Brute predominates.—
And will no Leech in all the land
This Essay-writer take in hand?
Help W---s, S---nds, help M---oe,
Sure you can make a cure of Joe!
Try with choice nostrums, each old woman,
If you can make the Monster human!
Your ghostly counsel give, each priest,
To change the nature of the Beast!
Can none of you amend his nature?
Then I'll invoke the Legislature:
(He's foil'd the sage of either sex;—)
“Tolle Josephum Carnifex!”
 

See Essay.