University of Virginia Library

When I have spent the day, as oft I do,
In wheeling round, and trudging to and fro,
Through that meander, which do what I can
Still further leads, (then when I first began)
From my desired rest; and nothing leaves me,
But new assurance, that the World deceives me;
And yet still keeps me active, with a thought
That, I am thereby doing what I ought;
(Because, ev'n by perusing what is vain,
A knowledge of some usefulness I gain,
Which els could not be had) I take content
In suffering what I labour to prevent;
Permitting GOD, to order as he pleases,
Me, and my something, and my nothing-nesses.

And, in the night, when all to rest are gone;
I muse on things more worthy thinking on,
And, how, to others, and my self, I may
Add somewhat, by our losses in the day.
Nor are my watchings, in that stollen leisure,
So painfull, as some think; but full of pleasure.
Nor do my solitary Musings tend
To that deceitfull, and unfruitfull end,
As is perhaps thought, in those lucubrations,
Wherein I take my loanly recreations;
For, that, which me all night doth waking keep,
Refresheth more my spirit, then my sleep.

The subject, which this hour employes my pen,
Makes my dead friend, to live with me agen:
I, visit him, and oft he visits me
With inter-courses, which no eyes can see.
Within my Chamber; (none els being there)
Me thinks, we two, as if alone we were
Converse together, and he brings unto
My memory, and thought, what I should do
To order so my life, that when I dye,
No living soul may be more glad as I.
Sometime, with him I walk unto his grave,
To view what kind of lodgings dead men have,
And whether I can, see among them, there,
Such dreadfull things, as flesh and blood doth fear.
Yea, there, at midnight I have with him been,
And every corner of the grave have seen,
By Contemplation, (which sees many sights,
Not to be view'd by ordinary lights)
Yet there I did behold no greater dread,
Then when I sleep most sweetly in my bed.
Sometimes, he comes into my mind, and brings
A multitude of temporary things
To be by many thought of, who yet live,
And were of that late Representative,
Which from it honor, and, it being fell,
Because they nor beleev'd, nor acted well.
Of somethings too, that neerly will concern
The wise, (till they are grown too wise to learn)
He me remembers, by those conferences
Which we oft had, when he enjoy'd his senses.
And, whereupon, I oft did more then guesse
At what was verifide in their successe:
Yea, and sometimes, he makes me think upon
The present Powre, and on what's yet undone,
And should be done, and will be done, ere long,
Unles, it grows, in self opinion strong,
And sleights that counsel, which may save the State,
As their Foregoers did, till 'twas too late.
Sometime, the thought of him, translates me hence
To Heav'n; where, what transcends intelligence
And my expression, is to me disclos'd,
By fractions, and by notions discompos'd;
Which, nay the lesse a certainty declare
Of some things, which for edifying are.
Sometime again (for we can any whither
Go safely) we descend to Hell together
By contemplation; and there, take full views
Of that which on Hypocrisie ensues;
And, on each other failing, and offence,
Perpetuating an Impenitence;
And, thence, assume occasion to improve
My thankfulnes, for that eternall love
By whom I am secured from that place,
Through his preventing, and assisting grace.

By thinking upon him, who in his grave
Lies thoughtles, of what thinkings I can have.
Thus, I myself employ; and, by things past,
The ordering of future things forecast;
And, find a means whereby I do refresh
My Spirit, whilst imprison'd in the Flesh.

And wherefore, judg you, I my time thus spend?
Is it to tell the World I had a Friend?
How vain were that! since, I am not to know
It cares not, whether I have Friends, or no.
And, loves to hear of no respect that's shown
To any, whom she takes not for her own.

Is it to gain a gratiousnes with those
Who, have, what he hath left at their dispose?
That were to fall, ten thousand leagues below
My spirit; and more base in me, would show
Then it would do in them, to look upon
With such a thought, what, here, by me is done,
For, these my retributions, are as free
From self-ends, as his bounty was to me,
And, rather should be paid back, ten times double,
Then I would loose my freedom for that buble.

It is to please his near and dear relations,
With large applauses, and commemorations
Of him that's gone? Alas! that doth but keep
Sorrows awake, which els would fall asleep,
Doth but his knowledg in the flesh renew,
Which keeps his better being, from their view;
Adds brine to thirst, and to devouring fire
Casts Oyl, which makes it but to flame the higher:
And, if no better use, could hence be rais'd,
It came to far lesse, then, not to be prais'd.

Is it to honor him, that's in his Grave?
That were the simplest thought the fool could have,
What honor can they want, who tryumph there,
Where fulnes of eternall glories are?
What honor can he have from earthly things,
Or glory, from a fame with paper wings,
Which cannot make a flight for many miles,
Beyond the compasse of these British Isles?
Or, from an Epitaph, on stone or brasse,
Read by a few in some obscured place?
Or, how will it concern, or please him now,
Who, to himself, would not, in life, allow
Those attributes of honor, which appear'd
Then due; nor, for an empty title car'd?
And, would have been displeas'd, if he had known
I, would on him, this trifle, have bestown,
(Onely because, it to his honor tends)
Although, therewith, compos'd to other ends?
Beside (although it somwhat may concern
His reputation) I am not to learn
That these Blasts, for the most part, oftner rear
A dust, to cloud it, then preserve it clear;
Or, stirs up, envy, hate, or evill-will,
To brawl, which else (it may be) had lain still.
For, to the Flower that spreads the fairest blooms,
The Cankerworm and Caterpiller comes.
Moreover, they, who least deserving are
May in this kind of honor have a share
With best Desert; and buy, with what was theirs,
A better Monument then this appears.

Is it for some advantages design'd
Unto my self? sure no; for none I find
Hereby acquirable; nor had I brought
My poverty to light, if I had sought
Self-honour; seeing, there is nothing more
Dishonourable thought, then to be poore.

Well then; if it were neither so nor so,
What is my purpose, in what now I do?
Ev'n this, That, from the best man whom I knew
Here living, I might set forth to your view
A self-deniall, through the want of which
The Common-wealth grows poore, and poore men rich.
That, also, by him, in whose charity,
GOD, did appear, in my necessity,
Others may be provok'd, through his examples,
To shew more love unto those living Temples,
In which he dwelleth; and at least, forbear
To ruine them, although they have no care
Of their Repair: For, this is one of those
Deficiencies, which multiplies our woes,
And, through defect, whereof our former cost,
And present hopes, will suddenly be lost,
As they have been; unless we do with speed
Put, what is yet but words, into a Deed;
Not dreaming still, that, we from GOD can hide),
What is by men, apparently espide:
For, though we will not see, what we behold,
Nor credit what we know true, being told,
It shall, in spight of all our impudence,
Let in a Fear, against which, no defence
Can possibly be made; and, then, the doom
We fear'd in secret, openly shall come.

He, of this self-deniall was a Teacher,
Yea, and as well a Pattern as a Preacher,
Who, taught with power, such principles as these,
And, not as do our Scribes and Pharisees.

I wrote this partly likewise, in requital
Of his rare kindness; and by his recitall
Of what he was, to stir up imitation
In all those who had any near relation
Unto his fleshly being; and, thereby,
To pay my debt to his posterity;
And, that (if well improved) it might be
Some retribution, for his love to me.

But, (in the first place, though I name it last)
This opportunity I have embrac'd,
To keep still visible, before mine eyes,
That Object, which the world doth most despise
To look upon; ev'n that, disgracefull, poore,
And lowe estate, in which I, heretofore
Was friendless left; and, in how just a time,
GOD, sent me full Deliverance, by him;
One, from a Thousand chose, to signifie
Thus much; that, (notwithstanding they whom, I,
Remembred often; me remembred not)
His everlasting love, was not forgot.

Having now shewn the Reason of my Rime,
I will return again to speak of him
Who caused this discourse, which I am in;
And, where I left off, there, I will begin.

Before, the bounty, which from him did come,
Amounted to the fore expressed sum,
Ashamed in my self, to see how far
He had ingag'd me, without taking care
Of reimbursement; unto him I sent
Unask, a true and full acknowledgment
Of all I had received: But, to my hand,
He back returned it, with this command
That, to no Person, I a word should say
Of what had past betwixt us, in that way.
For, well I know, said he, both you, and I,
Shall get but disadvantages thereby.
The World, is full of envy, and malicious,
Making to us, our best works most pernitious.
They who in her affairs, are chiefly wise,
And, view, our actions, with meer carnal eyes,
Will judg me but a fool; and, think perchance,
Your wit, hath wrought out of my ignorance
Or easines, that, which is an effect
Of GODS good providence, and my respect:
Keep it in secret therefore; for, from thence,
There can arise no mischief, or offence.

These Reasons charm'd me; and, with much ado,
I silence kept, because, he wil'd it so.
Only, (some few dayes after he forbid
This to be mention'd) I friendly chid
By these ensuing Verses, which are next
Inserted here, as not beside my Text.

SIR, though, so friendly, you to me have been,
That, to forget it, were a mortall sin,
Yet, I am one, whom divers do suppose
To make no difference, betwixt Friends, and Foes.
In my reproovings; And, if that be true,
My worthy noble Friend, then, have at You,
For, you forget your self, and strive to clime
To heights, so unfrequented at this time,
That, I suppose, I am in conscience tide
Your temper, and your practises to chide,
Lest by soft-hearted kindnes, and compassion
(with such like vertues, now grown out of fashion)
It may deservedly be said, by some,
One of these Sectaries you are become,
(And, of these Hereticks thought worse then Turks)
Who shew their true beleeving, by their works;
And, seem to bring their simple custome hither,
Of living well, and lovingly together.

Fy! have you honor'd been to sit among
The wisest of this Common-wealth so long?
And where, the men, who do themselves suppose
To be (at least) the wisest part of those,
Can many dayes, weeks, moneths, yea many years,
Hear Widdows out-cries, and see Orphans tears,
Without the casting of one look aside
On those, who by their path, stand Crucifide?
And will you so degenerate from them
Whose practices, are patterns for the time.
To look on him, whom they have trampled on,
And left, as to the world-ward, quite undone?
Can you descend so low, to fix your eyes
On those, whom men in honor do despise?
Yea, in a manner, seek unto them, too,
Who are distrest, (before they seek to you?)
Wooe them to be releev'd, by your expence?
(As if you suffer'd, by their indigence)
And charge them, that they tell it unto none,
As if a deed of darknes, you had done?

Beleeve, it SIR, this is a novelty,
Which doth betray you, so apparently
That, were it known, your best Friends would not stick,
To voice you, publickly, a Schismatick.
Scarce parallel'd: For, you in this divide
From all I know, in all the World beside,
Excepting one or two; and you, and they
Make up that little Congregation may,
With whom CHRIST promis'd he would present be,
Though it consisted but of two, or three:
And which was promised, (for ought I hear)
Though none of them, a Priest, or Prelate were.

The circumstances heeded in your acts,
Do very strangely aggravate the facts.
Had it been only, in a humor done,
Or, in a fit, but once, or twice alone
(As works of charity, are, now and then,
Performed, and repented of agen,)
Or, had that charity, from you distil'd,
But, drop by drop, or had it forth been fil'd
By thimbles full, (as unto those we give,
Our Aquavitæ, whom we faint perceive)
Had it been so, or so, I should have thought
So much thereof, as I in reason ought;
(Though, with much more respect then yet I see,
My publike services, will thought on be,)
And would have striv'd, as far as I was able
To make the gifts, and thanks, proportionable,
As wise men do; or, some way complemented,
And customary services presented,
According to the fashion: But, the course,
That you have took, Acknowledgments inforce
Beyond all Presidents: For, Sir, you stretch
Your noblenes so far beyond the reach
Of my weak faculties, to retribute
Acknowledgments, which therunto may suit;
Yea, and so oft, so long, so gen'rously
You have releeved my necessity;
That, therewith overcharged, that I am fain,
To break out of the rode, into a strain,
Some way extravagantly to declare,
As often in such straights as these we are
Constrain'd to do; And, as once Peter did
When through CHRISTS manhood, he the Godhead spid;
And, when, he having fish'd all night for nought,
And drew a whole ship lading at one draught,
He cride out, LORD, go from me (get thee gone)
For I confesse my self a sinfull one.

As, is the Fruit, so, may the season be
A token of the nature of the Tree:
(As that which cometh by the Rivers side,
And, whereby Righteous men are typiside
Illustrates well,) I, therefore, in respect
Ev'n of the time, may somewhat here object,
To show, yet farther, how you rend from those
Who have our earthly things, at their dispose.
For, at such times of need, still, ayd you lent,
As if by GOD himself, it had been sent,
Who, only, knew my wants; and unto whom
I, only shew them, when such great ones come:
Because, in greatest wants, I do perceive
Men readier to destroy, then to relieve.
Such, is the state of many in distresse;
Such, is the hate, of those, who do oppresse.

The rightly timing of a benefit,
Doth, very often, more then double it:
And, though such charity, may, in these dayes,
Return you little present gain, or praise,
Yet, GOD observes it; and, as sure, as he,
Will of a cup of Water heedfull be
Bestow'd on him who doth assume the name,
Of his Disciple, (although not the same)
Your timely, and your large benevolence,
Shall have a timely, and large recompence.

Me, in due season, GOD not only shall
Enable too, some way, to pay you all;
But, add mean time, a blessing to defray
That interest which he doth yet delay:
And, in that place, where some of those (I fear)
Who, me opprest, will tremble to appear,
You, shall be welcomed, with come ye blessed,
Who fed, and cloath'd me, when I was distressed.

These things consider'd, this, which I begun,
Pretending some reproof, intendeth none:
But, rather, is, (that debts be not forgot)
A memorandum only, or a note,
Subscribed with my hand, for intimation,
That, you, with me, shall have his obligation
Whose word is pass'd already to restore
Whatever shall be lent unto the poor:
And, who, doth good to every one intend,
Whose heart he moves, the needy to befriend.

Yet, that, mean time, I may not failing be
To pay as much in hand, as lies in me;
Receive this Benediction. Whensoere
The day of fiery tryall shall appear,
To prove your Faith, and purge you quite from all
Your selfnes: which ere long time will befall.
Let, then, your Faith be strong, and GOD be seen
A friend to you, as you to me have been:
And let your charity before him stand,
To manacle, and weaken every hand,
That would oppress those, whom you leave behind:
Let them GODS favour, in all troubles find:
Be safe preserved, in all times, and places,
By his free mercies, and preventing Graces;
And let this prayer, stil, about GOD'S Throne
Be fluttering, till he saith, so be it done.

These Verses, for his large benevolence
Were, for a long time, all his evidence.
Nor would he more receive, though many a time
Security was offer'd unto him.
And, once, it was in words like these, denide:
When first I your necessity supplide,
My purpose was not, meerly to relieve
Your present need; but, likewise, ayd to give
That, by your own endeavour, (with my cost)
You might recover that which you have lost.
The State, hath no part satisfied, yet,
Of your allow'd, and overlong due debt:
And, till that shall be done, I will expect
No payment, neither ought to that effect.

But, his assistance having made me strong,
That, to recover, which had been by wrong
Detained from me, in a private hand;
(And having somwhat more at my command)
I thought my self oblig'd (as I was able)
To render some returns proportionable
To my Estate. So, he accepts, at last,
Security for part, and lest the rest;
(Of which, to him, I somewhat yearly brought)
Without his asking, as expecting ought
(By any thing expressed) untill that,
Were pay'd me, which is owing by the State;
Or, till the residue, I could repay,
By some enablement another way.

This, shews it is no frivolous occasion
From whence this Poem springs; or, Obligation
To be as inconsiderable, slighted
Which me to this acknowledgment invited:
But rather, in regard of GOD, and Man,
An act, which ought, as fully as I can
To be exprest; That, for it I might give
The praise to GOD, and, men th'example have.

For, by his charity, GOD'S love appears:
I was, thereby, preserved many years
From perishing: Thereby, likewise, together
With that assistance, which I had from other
Concurring helps, (which have the same way, been
To me by GOD'S good providence, sent in,)
I got to be possessor of the gate,
Of those, who were mine enemies of late;
And, thereby, also, partly to expresse
To others, in their need, my thankfulness.
Thereto, the Noble, and much Honored
Bradshaw, and Dixwell, ayde contributed,
Among some others, who are not forgot.
Although their kindnes, I here mention not;
Yea, GOD, for me, so likewise, did dispose
The purpose, of my avaritious foes,
That, doubly, it advantag'd me, and more
Then all those loving friends had done before.
Which, suddenly improoving my Estate
Beyond, what I did hope, or aimed at;
The World doth seem to think, and some do say,
That, I, to thrive, have practised her way;
And, on my conscience, would now love me too,
If, truly, she beleev'd it had been so:
For, nothing renders her, a Foe to me
But, that she fears my words, and deeds agree.
And, that, though baits, and snares for me are laid
To serve her ends, I shall not be betraid.

Now, having finished this little story,
Which hath a neer relation to GOD'S glory
As well as to the honour of my Friend,
With some brief inferences, I will end.
But, lest, these may detain you overlong,
Here pause; and read them, in the following Song.