University of Virginia Library

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NEW-YEAR ADDRESS,

Written for the Carrier of the Columbian—1811.

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At this dread crisis, pitying Pallas came,
To save the mourner, and protect her fame:

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A burnish'd mail and nodding plume she wore,
And “ The Columbian” was the shield she bore;
Form'd, like the fabled Ægis, to oppose
And blunt the arrows of a host of foes.
Faction in vain opposed his threatening fate;
The ransomed victims of the demon's hate,
Restored to reason, rallied round the shield,
And disaffection hastened from the field.

Since the “ Columbian,” by your favour rear'd,
In Freedom's cause her champion first appeared,
What various dainties have its columns graced,
In rich profusion for the board of taste!
The hungry quidnunc, found the ready dish,
The politician, all his heart could wish;
The moralist, supplied with counsel sage,
The scholar, treasures from the classic page;

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Historians, faithful sketches of the times,
And Virtuosi, food from distant climes;
Commerce and Arts obtain'd a journal here,
To mark their progress through the prosperous year;
And Agriculture saw her labours crown'd,
Improved by hints which here a record found;
Here Humour's friends have seen the lash applied,
By Satire's hand, to folly, vice and pride;
The Muses' votaries, too, might here admire,
The tuneful warblings of a western lyre;
And lovers read and bless the happy pair
In Hymen's list, and wish their signets there;
While Fate's black catalogue this lesson taught,
That joy is transient—human pleasure short.

Patrons, permit your carrier here to name
The worthiest champions which the cause can claim,
Whose fertile genius has enrich'd our sheet,
In columns breathing patriotic heat;
Whose fruitful talents you have most admired,
While with their glowing sentiments inspired.
First, manly Stark appeared upon the field
The teeming quill in Freedom's cause to wield;
Whose patriot fervor swell'd the breathing page,
Commanding plaudits from the listening age.
Next in the list, ingenious Rattle rose,

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Whose humorous pen portrayed luxuriant thought,
Nor seem'd to scan the moral which it taught.
Franklin attended in the veteran train,
His thoughts the abstract of a patriot's brain;
And Bankerhill, whose fervid numbers swell'd
As when his thunders Freedom's foes repell'd;
While ever and anon, each pause between,
The gentle Laura breathed a strain serene.
Cato, again, the worth of freedom showed;
Timolien's thoughts in easy periods flowed;
And Juvenis with serious Mercer join'd,
To paint the blackness of a traitor's mind.
Junius described corrupted Albion's state;
Green bade us shun the Dane's unhappy fate;
While junior Adams, with a critic's lore,
To shreds a pompous declamation tore.
Norfolciencis, next enrich'd the page,
With style unrivall'd, erudite and sage;
And, in the life of British Windham, taught
To hate the wretch whom regal gold had bought.
Humanitus, in gentle pity's cause,
Condemn'd the errors of oppressive laws;
And feeling Howard still the theme prolongs,
And ably paints the captive debtor's wrongs.
Gay Rigmarole, with humour, all his own,
With dexterous hand has satire's weapon thrown;

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And while with justice all admire his art,
Law-makers wince, and tingle with the smart.
Philanthropus, to start a livelier game,
At modern female-fashion took his aim;
While hundreds round him from their ambush spring,
As folly flies, to shoot her on the wing.
Meantime a Hamlet and a Thespis' wage
Unequal war with a degenerate stage;
Endeavouring still to call true merit forth,
And place the chaplet on the brow of worth.
To these be added, not the least in fame,
Columns of treasure which the muse might name,
Pregnant with genius, energy and truth,
Of age the wisdom, and the fire of youth:
The muse of Selim was not wooed in vain;
A lovely minstrel echoed back the strain,
Whose tuneful numbers melted on the ear.
And who, but wish'd Zorayda's lyre to hear?
“The Rallying Point” a fertile pen display'd,
With Wisdom's form in Humour's garb array'd,
And Hosack's garden oft has furnish'd, too,
Some fragrant flowers of no inferior hue.
“The Diarrhodon” you have heard expose
The latent beauties of a modern Rose,
And smiled to see the lively writer roast
The doughty champion of the Morning Post.

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Through the Columbian, too, you might admire,
What literary minds to fame aspire.

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What fruits of genius spring from Freedom's soil,
And what rewards attend their ardent toil.
Nor is our state, upon the list of fame,
In literature the least or humblest name.
Spafford pursues a bold and ardent course,
With pen and talents not suppass'd by Morse;
M'Creery bids the harp of Erin breathe,
And round his temples binds the verdant wreath;
And Wood, with philosophic reasoning shows
From what mysterious cause the ocean flows.
Immortal Fraser's wonder-working quill
Can every breast with admiration fill;
With laurels crown'd, the sweet dramatic muse,
A second Shakspear in her Minshul views,
Whose lofty lyre, disdaining meaner notes,
Paints to the life a—“Bard in petticoats.”
Searson and Grotecloss, with magic lays,
To rapture's tone the cords of feeling raise;
Fair Ripley too, at sinners shakes the head,
Seizes her pen, and writes the rascals dead.

Invention's progress, too, has here been traced,
And all improvements that our clime have graced.
Ingenius Hall, with true mechanic lore,
Has taught an augur without hands to bore;
While Morneveck the higher merit claims
To guard our roofs from desolating flames;

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Harlan disdain'd the magnet's varying power,
And made the plane which marks the changing hour,
Its use supply—while the inventive Day
Bestow'd new powers on Winter's gliding sleigh.
But most might you admire the wonderous power,
That knits a pair of stockings in an hour;
And shrewdly think, as you these wonders read,
That life will shortly no exertions need—
That some invention, o'er the whole to leap,
Will make us food, and feed us while we sleep.

Patrons, how anxious have you told the clock,
Waiting impatient for your carrier's knock!
Eager to seize this “map of busy life,”
“Its fluctuations,” harmonies, and strife;
To sit at ease, surveying, as it turns
Beneath your view, “the globe and its concerns;”
Thus “through the loop-holes of retreat” to scan
The busy scene and all the works of man.
The well-known-welcome signal sounds at last,
“Now stir the fire and close the shutters fast,
Let down the curtains, wheel the sofa round,”
The sheet is open, and the column found:
“The grand debate” now meets your eager eye,
“The popular harangue, the tart reply,
The logic, and the wisdom, and the wit,”
The agile parry and the dexterous hit;

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The pestilence, which human science mocks,
“Houses in ashes, and the fall of stocks,
Births, deaths and marriages,” marine events,
Ships spoke, arrived, or just departing hence.
Soft eloquence here lubricates the page,
There “cataracts of declamation” rage;
While columns more the ins and outs expose,
“With many descants on a nation's woes.”
Nor stop you here, for next, before your eyes,
“Forests of strange but gay confusion” rise:
Rare sales at Auction—Fashions just come o'er;
Comoglio's concert—Waite's true lucky store;
Cooke's benefit—foot, horse, or water race;
Warne's Register—Wet Nurses out of place;
Diseases cured—Houses to sell or let;
“Whereas a libel”—“Ran away in debt;”
Museums, sermons, celebration feasts,
Phantasmagories, strange and monstrous beasts.
In short one line the catalogue completes—
Heaven earth and ocean, plundered of their sweets.

With all these various dainties here display'd
Have you been furnish'd by your carrier's aid;
Besides a numerous catalogue of tales,
Home-manufactured, or received by mails;
Of shipwrecks, murders, hurricanes and rains,
Of mountain-torrents deluging our plains;

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Of men who brave eternity's dread brink,
And drinking die, and even when dying drink;
And one, whom death had vanquish'd in the strife,
By drinking brandy soon restored to life;
Of suicides, and accidents, and fires,
And all, in short, cur'osity requires.