The Probationary Odes of Jonathan Pindar, Esq A cousin of Peter's, and candidate for the post of Poet Laureat to the C. U. S. In two parts |
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ODE XIV.
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 | The Probationary Odes of Jonathan Pindar, Esq |  |
ODE XIV.
THE DUTCHMAN AND THE SKIPPLE-STONE.
Jonathan exhorteth to reverence the Examples of our elders—telleth a Story, and concludeth with its moral.
Children, respect your parents; what they've done
Likewise do ye! nor think to ask the reason:
That which was folly, when it first begun,
Shall wisdom seem, in proper time and season.
Likewise do ye! nor think to ask the reason:
That which was folly, when it first begun,
Shall wisdom seem, in proper time and season.
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For, precedents, we know, are held as law,
Can construe, fix, or change the Constitution:
They are stout cords that hold the mind in awe,
And fetter the attempts of Revolution.
Can construe, fix, or change the Constitution:
They are stout cords that hold the mind in awe,
And fetter the attempts of Revolution.
In England, Judges must on woolpacks sit;
Wear bushy wigs;—sometimes a scarlet robe;
This precedent directs, wherefore 'tis fit
That Judges wear the same throughout the globe.
Wear bushy wigs;—sometimes a scarlet robe;
This precedent directs, wherefore 'tis fit
That Judges wear the same throughout the globe.
At Venice ev'ry year the Doge doth wed
The gentle Adriatic for his Spouse;
Yet never takes her Highness to his bed,
But wisely keeps another in his house.
The gentle Adriatic for his Spouse;
Yet never takes her Highness to his bed,
But wisely keeps another in his house.
In Spain, 'tis said, by ancient feudal fight,
The Lord shall kiss his vassal's maiden bride;
The husband's rights commence the second night,
The first to his embraces is denied.
The Lord shall kiss his vassal's maiden bride;
The husband's rights commence the second night,
The first to his embraces is denied.
In Abyssinia, beef-stakes are cut
Hot from the buttocks of a living Bull.
John Bull, with horror struck, his eyes would shut
Against such sights!—yet eats his belly-full
Of lamb stones, whilst the victim straddling by,
Blates for the loss of his delicious fry.
Yet John 's no Cannibal—at most, not more
Than all his ancestors have been before.
Hot from the buttocks of a living Bull.
John Bull, with horror struck, his eyes would shut
Against such sights!—yet eats his belly-full
Of lamb stones, whilst the victim straddling by,
Blates for the loss of his delicious fry.
Yet John 's no Cannibal—at most, not more
Than all his ancestors have been before.
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Not far from Albany, among the Dutch,
A skipple-stone is us'd to balance weight
On horseback borne; this balance is just such
As Daddy Vice requires in ev'ry state.
A skipple-stone is us'd to balance weight
On horseback borne; this balance is just such
As Daddy Vice requires in ev'ry state.
A Dutchman who to Mill went ev'ry week,
With sack half fill'd with wheat and half with stone,
Was once advis'd a diff'rent course to seek;
Double the wheat, and let the stone alone.
With sack half fill'd with wheat and half with stone,
Was once advis'd a diff'rent course to seek;
Double the wheat, and let the stone alone.
The boor with wonder stares—takes off his load,
Throws out the stone, and fills the sack with grain,
Divides it equally, and takes the road.
“Dis meal two weeks mine household shall maintain,”
Throws out the stone, and fills the sack with grain,
Divides it equally, and takes the road.
“Dis meal two weeks mine household shall maintain,”
He cries, exulting—but a sudden thought
Soon turns him back.—Again he takes the sack,
And emptying half the wheat as he'd been taught,
Into its place the skipple-stone puts back;
Thus mutt'ring to himself as he was won't
“If dis been right, mine Fader would á don't.
Soon turns him back.—Again he takes the sack,
And emptying half the wheat as he'd been taught,
Into its place the skipple-stone puts back;
Thus mutt'ring to himself as he was won't
“If dis been right, mine Fader would á don't.
Good folks—the moral 's easy to apply:
Go, copy mother Britain all your days!
Keep her example ever in your eye,
Her follies mimic, and chaunt forth her praise.
Go, copy mother Britain all your days!
Keep her example ever in your eye,
Her follies mimic, and chaunt forth her praise.
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