University of Virginia Library

A Dialogue Between a News-Printer And His Cash-Collector

Printer.—
Well, sir, and what have you brought me to-day?

Collector.—
I have brought you myself—and that's all I've to say.

P.—
No money, no dollars in specie nor notes

C.—
Not a sixpence, a shilling, to moisten our throats.

P.—
Bless me!—and how do they think that we live?

C.—
They think not of that while the news you will give.

P.—
Did they make no excuses—no promise to pay?

C.—
Some tell me to call next April or May.

P.—
Next April or May!—we shall starve before then,
The devil, I think, has got into some men.
Next April or May!—my subscribers are mad—
Go dun them again, and say, cash must be had!

C.—
Go dun them again!—I have dunn'd till 'm sick;
Six months for my board, I have run upon tick,—
My landlord has growl'd, that I pay not a cent,
And swears I must pay, or he can't pay his rent.

P.—
They have dollars, by dozens, to go to the play,
At balls and assemblies some shine very gay,
But, pay your subscription!—they have not a shilling!

C.—
They have it, I guess, but to pay are unwilling.

P.—
Since the day that old Noah came out of his ark,
I am sorry to say, but am forced to remark,
For some mischief committed, some crime, or some sin,
There ne'er were such times as the times we are in.
The maker of paper has dunn'd me—so, so,—
And his money must have, or to jail I must go.

C.—
The maker of paper!—the landlord is nigh,
And a bailiff attends him—you'll see by and by.

P.—
A Bailiff!—'odzooks, it is time to take care,
As soon would I meet with a wolf or a bear.

C.—
If they do not pay you, you cannot pay me,
Next winter is coming, and sir, do ye see,
Unless pretty shortly our landlords we pay
I strongly suspect we must both run away.

P.—
I hope not so bad—but before that we run,
Accost them again, with a positive dun,
Be modest and mild when you ask for our dues,
But tell them, no pay, and we give you no news.