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[XX. The chain that binds me to this oar]
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43

[XX. The chain that binds me to this oar]

The chain that binds me to this oar
Is galling to my sentient soul;
My spirits, fretted sick and sore,
In endless anguish toss and roll.
The face of heaven is hard and black,
Gaunt nature scorns my human woe,
The tardy arm of God is slack,
And hell a far-off, painted show.
God's ear is deaf to wrong or right;
In vain my ceaseless prayer I pour,
Through painful day and troubled night,
For simple justice, nothing more.
They bask and fatten in the sun,
These schemers, and they grin with mirth
At every cunning wrong they have done
To truth, to right, to buried worth.

44

I read of grand old Hebrew days,
When God judged earth, and I but see,
In all that scribe or prophet says,
The wreck of dead mythology.
This world of ours, this modern world,
That seeks no heaven, and shuns no hell,
By art and science forward hurled,
Gets on without a God as well.
So sick at heart, in angry mood,
I throw my bitter pen aside,
And cry, “Why care for ill or good,
Or any end that may betide?
“I'll live my life, I'll branch and bloom,
I'll kill the conscience in my breast:
So from this dreadful work of doom
My hand shall have eternal rest!”
I hear the swift descending rush
Of angel wings, the hovering play,
The rustle, and the awful hush
That follows, as they fold away.

45

I know who stands beside my chair,
Who sternly motions to my pen;
I grasp it, in foredoomed despair,
And ply my fearful task again.
Once more the pinions are unfurled,
They beat the air, they mount on high,
And from this low, sin-bounded world,
Go fanning gently up the sky.