Partingtonian patchwork Blifkins the martyr : the domestic trials of a model husband. The modern syntax : Dr. Spooner's experiences in search of the delectable. Partington papers : strippings of the warm milk of human kindness. New and old dips from an unambitious inkstand. Humorous, eccentric, rhythmical |
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THE GREEN GOOSE. |
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308
THE GREEN GOOSE.
Mr. Bogardus “gin a treat,”
And a green goose, best of birds to eat,
Delicious, savory, fat, and sweet,
Formed the dish the guests to greet;
But such, we know,
Is small for a “blow,”
And many times around won't go;
So Mr. Bogardus chanced to reflect,
And with a wisdom circumspect,
He sent round cards to parties select,
Some six or so the goose to dissect,
The day and hour defining;
And then he laid in lots of things,
That might have served as food for kings,
Liquors drawn from their primal springs,
And all that grateful comfort brings
To epicures in dining.
And a green goose, best of birds to eat,
Delicious, savory, fat, and sweet,
Formed the dish the guests to greet;
But such, we know,
Is small for a “blow,”
And many times around won't go;
So Mr. Bogardus chanced to reflect,
And with a wisdom circumspect,
He sent round cards to parties select,
Some six or so the goose to dissect,
The day and hour defining;
And then he laid in lots of things,
That might have served as food for kings,
309
And all that grateful comfort brings
To epicures in dining.
But Mr. Bogardus's brother Sim,
With moral qualities rather dim,
Copied the message sent to him,
In his most clerkly writing,
And sent it round to Tom, and Dick,
And Harry, and Jack, and Frank, and Nick,
And many more, to the green goose “pick”
Most earnestly inviting;
He laid it on the green goose thick,
Their appetites exciting.
With moral qualities rather dim,
Copied the message sent to him,
In his most clerkly writing,
And sent it round to Tom, and Dick,
And Harry, and Jack, and Frank, and Nick,
And many more, to the green goose “pick”
Most earnestly inviting;
He laid it on the green goose thick,
Their appetites exciting.
'Twas dinner time by the Old South clock;
Bogardus waited the sounding knock
Of friends to come at the moment, “chock,”
To try his goose, his game, his hock,
And hoped they would not dally;
When one, and two, and three, and four,
And running up the scale to a score,
And adding to it many more,
Who all their Sunday fixings wore,
Came in procession to the door,
And crowded in on his parlor floor,
Filling him with confusion sore,
Like an after-election rally!
Bogardus waited the sounding knock
Of friends to come at the moment, “chock,”
To try his goose, his game, his hock,
And hoped they would not dally;
When one, and two, and three, and four,
And running up the scale to a score,
And adding to it many more,
Who all their Sunday fixings wore,
Came in procession to the door,
And crowded in on his parlor floor,
Filling him with confusion sore,
Like an after-election rally!
“Gentlemen,” then murmured he,
“To what unhoped contingency
Am I owing for this felicity,
A visit thus unexpected?“
Then they held their cards before his eyes,
And he saw, to his infinite surprise,
That some sad dog had taken a rise
On him, and his hungry friends likewise,
And whom he half suspected;
But there was Sim,
Of morals dim,
With a face as long, and dull, and grim,
As though he the ire reflected.
“To what unhoped contingency
Am I owing for this felicity,
A visit thus unexpected?“
310
And he saw, to his infinite surprise,
That some sad dog had taken a rise
On him, and his hungry friends likewise,
And whom he half suspected;
But there was Sim,
Of morals dim,
With a face as long, and dull, and grim,
As though he the ire reflected.
Then forth the big procession went,
With mirth and anger equally blent;
To think they didn't get the scent
Of what the cursed missive meant
Annoyed some of 'em deeply;
They felt they'd been caught by a green goose bait,
And plucked and skinned, and then, light weight,
Had been sold very cheaply.
With mirth and anger equally blent;
To think they didn't get the scent
Of what the cursed missive meant
Annoyed some of 'em deeply;
They felt they'd been caught by a green goose bait,
And plucked and skinned, and then, light weight,
Had been sold very cheaply.
MORAL.
Keep your weather eye peeled for trap,
For we never know just what may hap,
Nor if we shall be winners;
Remembering that one green goose
Will be of very little use
'Mongst twenty hungry sinners.
For we never know just what may hap,
Nor if we shall be winners;
Remembering that one green goose
Will be of very little use
'Mongst twenty hungry sinners.
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