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33
LOT SKINNER'S ELEGY
Lot Skinner was the meanest man
That ever saved his neck;
He grudged the very breath he drew,
As if it were a check.
That ever saved his neck;
He grudged the very breath he drew,
As if it were a check.
When he was in the grocer line,
And turning fruit to gold,
He 'd bite a raisin straight in halves
To make the weight he sold.
And turning fruit to gold,
He 'd bite a raisin straight in halves
To make the weight he sold.
Day in and out, through heat and cold,
For thirty years or more,
He well observed the copper-mean,
And—something blessed his store.
For thirty years or more,
He well observed the copper-mean,
And—something blessed his store.
He never gave a dime away,
He never lost a pin;
A ninepence saved rejoiced him more
Than taking ninepence in.
He never lost a pin;
A ninepence saved rejoiced him more
Than taking ninepence in.
34
Of counterfeited bills he used
The best of every kind,
Which in the way of trade he kept,
To swap off on the blind.
The best of every kind,
Which in the way of trade he kept,
To swap off on the blind.
The poor came round his counter's edge,
And raised a feeble cry:
“Don't speak so loud,” the rogue exclaimed,
“For I am always nigh.”
And raised a feeble cry:
“Don't speak so loud,” the rogue exclaimed,
“For I am always nigh.”
“'T is little things that make a pile,”—
(This maxim he could trust.)
So, when he sawed his pile of wood,
He always saved the dust.
(This maxim he could trust.)
So, when he sawed his pile of wood,
He always saved the dust.
He had but one book in the house,
And that he never read!
'T was called “Economy of Life,”—
And did him good, he said.
And that he never read!
'T was called “Economy of Life,”—
And did him good, he said.
He welcomed in the rising moon,—
'T was such a cheerful sight;
For then he 'd blow the candle out,
And use the gratis light.
'T was such a cheerful sight;
For then he 'd blow the candle out,
And use the gratis light.
35
He liked in other people's pews
To settle meekly down,
And steal his preaching, here and there,
By sneaking round the town.
To settle meekly down,
And steal his preaching, here and there,
By sneaking round the town.
Sometimes we saw a greenish smile
Coil up his bony face:
'T was when the parson chose a theme
That spoke of saving grace.
Coil up his bony face:
'T was when the parson chose a theme
That spoke of saving grace.
At last it cost so much to live,—
(Per day some twenty cents,)
“I won't stand this!” he inly groaned,
And died to save expense.
(Per day some twenty cents,)
“I won't stand this!” he inly groaned,
And died to save expense.
Now, having gone where all his means
Are shut up in a box,
He cannot lift that heavy lid
The careful sexton locks.
Are shut up in a box,
He cannot lift that heavy lid
The careful sexton locks.
Adieu! thou scrap of lifeless clay!
Thou pale-ink human blot!
This line shall be thine epitaph,—
“An unproductive Lot!”
Thou pale-ink human blot!
This line shall be thine epitaph,—
“An unproductive Lot!”
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