The poetical works of John Godfrey Saxe Household Edition : with illustrations |
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A RHYMED EPISTLE.
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 | The poetical works of John Godfrey Saxe |  |
A RHYMED EPISTLE.
TO THE EDITOR OF THE KNICKER-BOCKER MAGAZINE.
Dear Knick: While myself and my spouse
Sat tea-ing last evening, and chatting,
And, mindful of conjugal vows,
Were nicely agreed in combating,
It chanced that myself and my wife,
('T was Madam occasioned the pother!)
Falling suddenly into a strife,
Came near falling out with each other!
Sat tea-ing last evening, and chatting,
And, mindful of conjugal vows,
Were nicely agreed in combating,
It chanced that myself and my wife,
('T was Madam occasioned the pother!)
Falling suddenly into a strife,
Came near falling out with each other!
In a brisk, miscellaneous chat,
Quite in tune with the chime of the tea-things,
We were talking of this and of that,
Just as each of us happened to see things,
When somehow or other it chanced
(I don't quite remember the cue),
That as talking and tea-ing advanced,
We found we were talking of you!
Quite in tune with the chime of the tea-things,
We were talking of this and of that,
Just as each of us happened to see things,
When somehow or other it chanced
(I don't quite remember the cue),
That as talking and tea-ing advanced,
We found we were talking of you!
I think—but perhaps I am wrong,
Such a subtle old chap is Suggestion,
As he forces each topic along
By the trick of the “previous question”—
Some remarks on a bacchanal revel
Suggested that horrible elf
With the hoof and the horus,—and the Devil,
Excuse me, suggested yourself!
Such a subtle old chap is Suggestion,
As he forces each topic along
By the trick of the “previous question”—
Some remarks on a bacchanal revel
Suggested that horrible elf
With the hoof and the horus,—and the Devil,
Excuse me, suggested yourself!
“Ah! Knick, to be sure; by the way,”
Quoth Madam, “what sort of a man
Do you take him to be!—nay, but stay,
And let me guess him out if I can.
He's young, and quite handsome, no doubt;
Rather slender, and not over-tall;
And he loves a snug little turn-out,
And turns out ‘quite a love’ at a ball!”
Quoth Madam, “what sort of a man
Do you take him to be!—nay, but stay,
And let me guess him out if I can.
He's young, and quite handsome, no doubt;
Rather slender, and not over-tall;
And he loves a snug little turn-out,
And turns out ‘quite a love’ at a ball!”
And then she went on to portray
Such a very delightful ideal,
That a sensible stranger would say
It really could n't be real.
“And his wife, what a lady must she be?
(Knick's married, that I know, and you know:)
You'll find her a delicate Hebe,
And not your magnificent Juno!”
Such a very delightful ideal,
That a sensible stranger would say
It really could n't be real.
“And his wife, what a lady must she be?
(Knick's married, that I know, and you know:)
You'll find her a delicate Hebe,
And not your magnificent Juno!”
Now I am a man, you must learn,
Less famous for beauty than strength,
And, for aught I could ever discern,
Of rather superfluous length.
In truth 't is but seldom one meets
Such a Titan in human abodes,
And when I stalk over the streets,
I'm a perfect Colossus of roads!
Less famous for beauty than strength,
And, for aught I could ever discern,
Of rather superfluous length.
In truth 't is but seldom one meets
Such a Titan in human abodes,
And when I stalk over the streets,
I'm a perfect Colossus of roads!
So I frowned like a tragedy-Roman,
For in painting the beautiful elf
As the form of your lady, the woman
Took care to be drawing herself;
While, mark you, the picture she drew
So deuced con amore and free,
That fanciful likeness of you,
Was by no means a portrait of me!
For in painting the beautiful elf
As the form of your lady, the woman
Took care to be drawing herself;
While, mark you, the picture she drew
So deuced con amore and free,
That fanciful likeness of you,
Was by no means a portrait of me!
“How lucky for ladies,” I hinted,
“That in our republican land
They may prattle, without being stinted,
Of matters they don't understand;
I'll show you, dear Madam, that ‘Knick’
Is n't dapper nor daintily slim,
But a gentleman decently thick,
With a manly extension of limb.
“That in our republican land
They may prattle, without being stinted,
Of matters they don't understand;
I'll show you, dear Madam, that ‘Knick’
Is n't dapper nor daintily slim,
But a gentleman decently thick,
With a manly extension of limb.
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“And as to his youth,—talk of flowers
Blooming gayly in frosty December!
I'll warrant his juvenile hours
Are things he can scarcely remember!
Here, Madam, quite plain to be seen,
Is the chap you would choose for a lover!”
And, producing your own Magazine,
I pointed elate to the cover!
Blooming gayly in frosty December!
I'll warrant his juvenile hours
Are things he can scarcely remember!
Here, Madam, quite plain to be seen,
Is the chap you would choose for a lover!”
And, producing your own Magazine,
I pointed elate to the cover!
“You see, ma'am, 't is just as I said,
His locks are as gray as a rat;
Here, look at the crown of his head,
'T is bald as the crown of my hat!”
“Nay, my dear,” interrupted my wife,
Who began to be casting about
To get the last word in the strife,
“'T is his grandfather's picture, no doubt!”
His locks are as gray as a rat;
Here, look at the crown of his head,
'T is bald as the crown of my hat!”
“Nay, my dear,” interrupted my wife,
Who began to be casting about
To get the last word in the strife,
“'T is his grandfather's picture, no doubt!”
| The poetical works of John Godfrey Saxe | |