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[O, this dismal influenza!]

O, this dismal influenza!
O, this fearful influenza!
With its cough, and cough, and coffin,
And its bronchial titillation,
While the lacerated thorax

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Thrills with frequent paroxysms,
And the nasal promontory
Seems as large as Mount Monadnoc,
And inflammatory ague
With fierce pain distorts the features,
And the quakes sternutatory,
Threatening, strive to shake one's head off!
All the life that moves around me
Takes the tone of influenza,
With its choking and its coughing,
With its barking and its aching,
With its ague and its cold chills,
Redolent with blasts of east wind,
—Blasted bad some ruffian called it,—
Full of sin and rheumatism.