The Complete Works of James Whitcomb Riley in ten volumes |
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AT “THE LITERARY” |
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 | The Complete Works of James Whitcomb Riley |  |
1292
AT “THE LITERARY”
Folks in town, I reckon, thinks
They git all the fun they air
Runnin' loose 'round!—but, 'y jinks!
We' got fun, and fun to spare,
Right out here amongst the ash
And oak timber ever'where!
Some folks else kin cut a dash
'Sides town-people, don't fergit!—
'Specially in winter-time,
When they's snow, and roads is fit.
In them circumstances I'm
Resig-nated to my lot—
Which putts me in mind o' what
'S called “The Literary.”
They git all the fun they air
Runnin' loose 'round!—but, 'y jinks!
We' got fun, and fun to spare,
Right out here amongst the ash
And oak timber ever'where!
Some folks else kin cut a dash
'Sides town-people, don't fergit!—
'Specially in winter-time,
When they's snow, and roads is fit.
In them circumstances I'm
Resig-nated to my lot—
Which putts me in mind o' what
'S called “The Literary.”
Us folks in the country sees
Lots o' fun!—Take spellin'-school;
Er ole hoe-down jamborees;
Er revivals; er ef you'll
Tackle taffy-pullin's you
Kin git fun, and quite a few!—
Same with huskin's. But all these
Kind o' frolics they hain't new
By a hundred year' er two
Cipher on it as you please!
But I'll tell you what I jest
Think walks over all the rest—
Anyway it suits me best,—
That's “The Literary.”
Lots o' fun!—Take spellin'-school;
Er ole hoe-down jamborees;
Er revivals; er ef you'll
Tackle taffy-pullin's you
Kin git fun, and quite a few!—
Same with huskin's. But all these
Kind o' frolics they hain't new
1293
Cipher on it as you please!
But I'll tell you what I jest
Think walks over all the rest—
Anyway it suits me best,—
That's “The Literary.”
First they started it—“'y gee!”
Thinks-says-I, “this settle-ment
'S gittin' too high-toned fer me!”
But when all begin to jine,
And I heerd Izory went,
I jest kind o' drapped in line,
Like you've seen some sandy, thin,
Scrawny shoat putt fer the crick
Down some pig-trail through the thick
Spice-bresh, where the whole drove's been
'Bout six weeks 'fore he gits in!—
“Can't tell nothin',” I-says-ee,
“'Bout it tel you go and see
Their blame ‘Literary’!”
Thinks-says-I, “this settle-ment
'S gittin' too high-toned fer me!”
But when all begin to jine,
And I heerd Izory went,
I jest kind o' drapped in line,
Like you've seen some sandy, thin,
Scrawny shoat putt fer the crick
Down some pig-trail through the thick
Spice-bresh, where the whole drove's been
'Bout six weeks 'fore he gits in!—
“Can't tell nothin',” I-says-ee,
“'Bout it tel you go and see
Their blame ‘Literary’!”
Very first night I was there
I was 'p'inted to be what
They call “Critic”—so's a fair
And square jedgment could be got
On the pieces 'at was read,
And on the debate,—“Which air
Most destructive element,
Fire er worter?” Then they hed
Compositions on “Content,”
“Death,” and “Botany”; and Tomps
He read one on “Dreenin' Swamps”
I p'nounced the boss, and said,
“So fur, 'at's the best thing read
In yer ‘Literary’!”
I was 'p'inted to be what
They call “Critic”—so's a fair
And square jedgment could be got
On the pieces 'at was read,
And on the debate,—“Which air
Most destructive element,
Fire er worter?” Then they hed
Compositions on “Content,”
1294
He read one on “Dreenin' Swamps”
I p'nounced the boss, and said,
“So fur, 'at's the best thing read
In yer ‘Literary’!”
Then they sung some—tel I called
Order, and got back ag'in
In the critic's cheer, and hauled
All o' the p'formers in:—
Mandy Brizendine read one
I fergit; and Doc's was “Thought”;
And Sarepty's, hern was “None
Air Denied 'at Knocks”; and Daut—
Fayette Strawnse's little niece—
She got up and spoke a piece:
Then Izory she read hern—
“Best thing in the whole concern,”
I-says-ee; “now le' 's adjourn
This-here ‘Literary’!”
Order, and got back ag'in
In the critic's cheer, and hauled
All o' the p'formers in:—
Mandy Brizendine read one
I fergit; and Doc's was “Thought”;
And Sarepty's, hern was “None
Air Denied 'at Knocks”; and Daut—
Fayette Strawnse's little niece—
She got up and spoke a piece:
Then Izory she read hern—
“Best thing in the whole concern,”
I-says-ee; “now le' 's adjourn
This-here ‘Literary’!”
They was some contendin'—yit
We broke up in harmony.
Road outside as white as grit,
And as slick as slick could be!—
I'd fetched 'Zory in my sleigh,—
And I had a heap to say,
Drivin' back—in fact, I driv
'Way around the old north way,
Where the Daubenspeckses live.
'Zory allus—'fore that night—
Never 'peared to feel jest right
In my company.—You see,
On'y thing on earth saved me
Was that “Literary”!
We broke up in harmony.
Road outside as white as grit,
And as slick as slick could be!—
I'd fetched 'Zory in my sleigh,—
And I had a heap to say,
Drivin' back—in fact, I driv
'Way around the old north way,
Where the Daubenspeckses live.
'Zory allus—'fore that night—
1295
In my company.—You see,
On'y thing on earth saved me
Was that “Literary”!
| The Complete Works of James Whitcomb Riley | |