University of Virginia Library

HOW ISRAEL WAS WHIPPED.

“Israel,” in the short scene, “How Israel was Whipped,” refers to the boy who afterward became General Putnam, one of the bravest and most faithful commanders in the American army. The following brief mention of his boyhood is gathered from Sparks's “Life of Putnam:”

He was born at Salem, in Massachusetts, on the 7th day of January, 1718. His grandfather, with two brothers, came from the South of England. His father was a farmer, and the son was brought up to the same pursuit, for which not much education was then believed to be needed. The arts of reading, writing, and a little of arithmetic were all that could be acquired in the common schools; so that the literary advantages of young Israel could not have been very great. But his body was firm and strong, and he was not afraid of any ordinary danger. It was the custom for young men in those days to practice running, leaping, wrestling, and pitching the bar; and in these manly sports Putnam could be beaten by none of his companions. On his first visit to Boston, he was treated rudely by one of the city boys, a sort of welcome which country boys frequently receive when they “go to town.” His antagonist was twice as large as himself; but Israel gave him a sound beating, to the entire satisfaction of a large number who were looking on.

SCENE, BOSTON; TIME, 1730.
Enter Israel, a boy clad in country garb, and staring at every thing around him.
ISRAEL.
Well, if this don't beat all! I never knew
There were so many housen the whole world through.
Whichever way I look, a house I see;
They're thick as girls is, at a pearin'-bee.
I used to Salem town quite large allow,
But Salem ain't no object to me now.
Why, this 'ere town would never stop before
It ate ours up, an' smacked its lips for more!
And all these people, steppin' 'round here, too!
What under sun can they all find to do?
An' some of them are dressed as fine an' gay
As if there was a trainin' here to-day!

Enter a City Boy, much larger than Israel, and smartly dressed.
CITY BOY.
What are you staring at, my tender one?
What are you looking for, my verdant son?

ISRAEL.
I'm starin' at whatever takes my eye;
I'm hunting for a gentleman. Good-bye.

CITY BOY
(changing his manner).
Why, I'm a gentleman, and I will do
My best to help you, if you want me to.
I know the city well; you, by your face,
Are but a stranger here. Is this the case?

ISRAEL.
It ain't for me to rub out what you say;
I am a stranger, come from Salem way,
A-saltin' down such facts as I can see;
An' all these sights 'round here is news to me.

CITY BOY.
Is that a fact? We'll soon put that to rights;
I'll take you round, and show you all the sights.

ISRAEL.
Well, if you want to, all I've got to say,
Is, if you ever come out Salem way,
I'll take you to bring up, while you are there,
An' show you 'round, an' treat you good an' square.

CITY BOY.
All right, my rose; I'll put that promise down.
And now let's take a look about the town.
Perhaps you've heard it said, “out Salem way,”
The world turns on its axis once each day?

ISRAEL.
Well, yes; that's what last winter's school-ma'am said,
But hanged if I could get it through my head.
It was so mighty hard for me to see,
The woman had to whip it into me.

CITY BOY.
Well, it is true; although it moves so slow,
That, do your best, you can not see it go;
But ere he's here long every body learns,
This city is the place 'round which it turns.
You see that church-spire, just before your nose?
Well, that's the very point 'round which it goes.

ISRAEL.
You're sure, I hope (if 'twouldn't be impolite),
That this isn't something that you've dreamed some night?

CITY BOY.
Oh, yes! it's all dead truth, strange as may seem.
Why, bless your soul! I have no time to dream!
For if the truth is known—'cross, up, and down—
I own about three-quarters of this town.
You see those ships out yonder in the bay?
They all are mine; I build one every day.

ISRAEL.
It's getting late, and if you have not made
One for to-day, you'd best be at your trade.

CITY BOY.
Oh, I've a thousand men my work to do!
I send my ships to every country, too:
To Europe, Asia, Africa, they go;
I've lately put wings on them—do you know—
And sent them to the moon. When the wind's fair,
We Boston people get our cheese from there.

ISRAEL.
Now look ye here, my fine friend, if ye please:
Don't tell me that the moon is made o' cheese!
If that we find one blackbird in a nest,
We straightway kill for blackbirds all the rest;
So this last being any thing but true,
I rather think you've lied the whole way through.

CITY BOY
(angrily).
You doubt my word, you green young country stick!
Well, then, I'll trounce you till I make you sick!

ISRAEL.
You've told a-many things I falsehoods guessed;
I b'lieve I doubt that more than all the rest.

BY-STANDER
(to City Boy).
Stand back, you coward-lubber! don't you see,
You fool, that you are twice as big as he?

CITY BOY.
No; let him come an' touch me if he dar's!
I'll make him think the moon is made of stars!
[They fight; Israel throws the City Boy, and holds him by the throat, the by-standers applauding.
Pray let me up! I only was in fun!

ISRAEL.
An' I'm in earnest. Now, my pretty one,
You take that church-spire story back?

CITY BOY.
Oh yes!

ISRAEL.
You'll own you don't own Boston now, I guess?

CITY BOY.
Oh yes! that was a piece of nonsense too.
I'll give my city claims all up to you!

ISRAEL.
You own the moon ain't cheese?

CITY BOY.
Oh yes! oh, dear!

ISRAEL.
You'll own you are a liar, as you lie here?

CITY BOY.
Yes, yes! I own it all! Just let me go,
An' after this my tongue shall move more slow.

ISRAEL.
Then, take your feet, an' go upon your way,
An' be more truthful on another day.
An' when a country boy comes into town,
Don't try, first thing, to make him out a clown;
Use him as you'd be used; and, if you please,
Don't tell him that the moon is made of cheese.