 | Farm legends |  |
III.
Now Marco Bozzaris had fallen, and all of his suff'rings were o'er,
And the class to their seats were retreating, when footsteps were heard at the door;
And the class to their seats were retreating, when footsteps were heard at the door;
And five of the good district fathers marched into the room in a row,
And stood themselves up by the hot fire, and shook off their white cloaks of snow;
And stood themselves up by the hot fire, and shook off their white cloaks of snow;
And the spokesman, a grave squire of sixty, with countenance solemnly sad,
Spoke thus, while the children all listened, with all of the ears that they had:
Spoke thus, while the children all listened, with all of the ears that they had:
“We've come here, school-master, intendin' to cast an inquirin' eye 'round,
Concarnin' complaints that's been entered, an' fault that has lately been found;
To pace off the width of your doin's, an' witness what you've been about;
An' see if it's payin' to keep you, or whether we'd best turn ye out.
Concarnin' complaints that's been entered, an' fault that has lately been found;
To pace off the width of your doin's, an' witness what you've been about;
An' see if it's payin' to keep you, or whether we'd best turn ye out.
“The first thing I'm bid for to mention is, when the class gets up to read:
You give 'em too tight of a reinin', an' touch 'em up more than they need;
You're nicer than wise in the matter of holdin' the book in one han',
An' you turn a stray g in their doin's, an' tack an odd d on their an'.
There ain't no great good comes of speakin' the words so polite, as I see,
Providin' you know what the facts is, an' tell 'em off jest as they be.
You give 'em too tight of a reinin', an' touch 'em up more than they need;
You're nicer than wise in the matter of holdin' the book in one han',
An' you turn a stray g in their doin's, an' tack an odd d on their an'.
There ain't no great good comes of speakin' the words so polite, as I see,
Providin' you know what the facts is, an' tell 'em off jest as they be.
22
An' then there's that readin' in corncert, is censured from first unto last;
It kicks up a heap of a racket, when folks is a-travelin' past.
Whatever is done as to redin', providin' things goes to my say,
Sha'n't hang on no new-fangled hinges, but swing in the old-fashioned way.”
It kicks up a heap of a racket, when folks is a-travelin' past.
Whatever is done as to redin', providin' things goes to my say,
Sha'n't hang on no new-fangled hinges, but swing in the old-fashioned way.”
And the other four good district fathers gave quick the consent that was due,
And nodded obliquely, and muttered, “Them 'ere is my sentiments tew.”
And nodded obliquely, and muttered, “Them 'ere is my sentiments tew.”
“Then, as to your spellin': I've heern tell, by them as has looked into this,
That you turn the u out o' your labour, an' make the word shorter than 'tis;
An' clip the k off o' yer musick, which makes my son Ephraim perplexed,
An' when he spells out as he used ter, you pass the word on to the next.
They say there's some new-grafted books here that don't take them letters along;
But if it is so, just depend on't, them new-grafted books is made wrong.
You might just as well say that Jackson didn't know all there was about war,
As to say that the old-fashioned teachers didn't know what them letters was for!”
That you turn the u out o' your labour, an' make the word shorter than 'tis;
An' clip the k off o' yer musick, which makes my son Ephraim perplexed,
An' when he spells out as he used ter, you pass the word on to the next.
They say there's some new-grafted books here that don't take them letters along;
But if it is so, just depend on't, them new-grafted books is made wrong.
You might just as well say that Jackson didn't know all there was about war,
As to say that the old-fashioned teachers didn't know what them letters was for!”
And the other four good district fathers gave quick the consent that was due,
And scratched their heads slyly and softly, and said, “Them's my sentiments tew.”
And scratched their heads slyly and softly, and said, “Them's my sentiments tew.”
“Then, also, your 'rithmetic doin's, as they are reported to me,
Is that you have left Tare an' Tret out, an' also the old Rule o' Three;
An' likewise brought in a new study, some high-steppin' scholars to please,
With saw-bucks an' crosses and pot-hooks, an' w's, x, y's, and z's.
We ain't got no time for such foolin'; there ain't no great good to be reached
By tiptoein' childr'n up higher than ever their fathers was teached.”
And the other four good district fathers gave quick the consent that was due,
And cocked one eye up to the ceiling, and said, “Them's my sentiments tew.”
Is that you have left Tare an' Tret out, an' also the old Rule o' Three;
An' likewise brought in a new study, some high-steppin' scholars to please,
With saw-bucks an' crosses and pot-hooks, an' w's, x, y's, and z's.
We ain't got no time for such foolin'; there ain't no great good to be reached
By tiptoein' childr'n up higher than ever their fathers was teached.”
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And cocked one eye up to the ceiling, and said, “Them's my sentiments tew.”
“Another thing, I must here mention, comes into the question to-day:
Concernin' some words in the grammar you're teachin' our gals for to say.
My gals is as steady as clock-work, an' never give cause for much fear,
But they come home from school t'other evenin' a-talkin' such stuff as this here:
‘I love,’ an' ‘Thou lovest,’ an' ‘He loves,’ an' ‘Ye love,’ an' ‘You love,’ an' ‘They—’
An' they answered my questions, ‘It's grammar’—'twas all I could get 'em to say.
Now if, 'stead of doin' your duty, you're carryin' matters on so
As to make the gals say that they love you, it's just all that I want to know;—”
Concernin' some words in the grammar you're teachin' our gals for to say.
My gals is as steady as clock-work, an' never give cause for much fear,
But they come home from school t'other evenin' a-talkin' such stuff as this here:
‘I love,’ an' ‘Thou lovest,’ an' ‘He loves,’ an' ‘Ye love,’ an' ‘You love,’ an' ‘They—’
An' they answered my questions, ‘It's grammar’—'twas all I could get 'em to say.
Now if, 'stead of doin' your duty, you're carryin' matters on so
As to make the gals say that they love you, it's just all that I want to know;—”
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