University of Virginia Library

You youngsters who haven't heard of Picnic Sam,
Just gather up around here where I am,
And listen sharp while memory wanders through him,
And brings out what he seemed like when I knew him.
He lived in one of those high-stretched affairs
Called tenements—up any amount of stairs;
His room there, when the tired streets he forsook,
Was just what room he crowded in and took.
Though he “lived high,” he never had the gout,
And for the most part took his dinners out.
Breakfast and supper were not in his way;
His motto always was, One meal per day;
Or rather, maybe, when you squarely met it,
One meal per day, providing I can get it.
His garments—well, you've stood and looked, perhaps,
At those plump, little, beaming, made-up chaps,
With nobby coats, and smiling, painted faces,
The clothing dealer in his window places
(To make meat children envious, I suppose);
Well, Sam wasn't dressed at all like one of those.
Raiment like his no lively lad enjoys;
It had been cut for several different boys,
And, taking garments as they come and go,
He had about one suit—or nearly so.
Still, dry-goods are of life a small-sized part:
A bad coat often hides a first-class heart.
His face suggested, to the casual sight,
A bull-dog's when he's waiting for a fight;
And on it might be traced full many a streak,
As though it were not laundered once a week.
And yet his eyes were handsome, for a fact
(That is, of course, the one that was not blacked,
For he had fighting—more or less—to do);
But his well eye looked rather good and true.

You youngsters, gather round here where I am—
I'll tell you why they called him Picnic Sam.
This young home-heathen had, by day and night,
A genuine first-class picnic appetite;
And, with a zeal good children stood in fear of,
Attended every picnic he could hear of.
When Sunday-schools were going to have “a spread,”
He'd always join, a week or two ahead;
And though no “verses” he had ever learned,
Tried to look serious like and deep concerned,
And (if some good boy he was sitting near)
Would answer every question, loud and clear.
'Twas strange, when near the time of feasting came,
How sure a school was to get Samuel's name.
“Why,” said a teacher, rather prone to scoff,
“He'll smell a picnic full a fortnight off.”
'Twas strange, in different schools he ravaged round in,
What various kinds of classes he'd be found in.
Three times or more, he gravely tried to pass
As member of an old folks' Bible class;
And once appeared (rough brick-bat among pearls)
In a small, timid infant class of girls!
But, in whatever company he came,
His appetite stood by him all the same.
No picnic near, in weather foul or pleasant,
But Sam and stomach managed to be present.
And when, with innocent, unconscious air,
He placed himself at table, firm and square,
With one eye partly closed, the other looking
Intently at the different styles of cooking;
And when, with savage-gleaming knife and fork,
He brought himself down seriously to work,
And marched through every dish in conquering glory,
And ravaged all the adjacent territory,
Making the table for some distance round
Look like a fiercely hard-fought battle-ground,
A smile upon his placid face would fall,
As if life wasn't a failure, after all.

But when the exciting dinner-hour was gone
Sam always seemed uncalled for and alone;
Felt snubbed and frozen and made quiet game of—
Slights that he didn't even know the name of,
But which he sensed as keenly (do not doubt it)
As if some foe had told him all about it.
He always felt by that vague feeling haunted
That hangs around folks when they are not wanted.
Because a boy is greedy, dull, and droll,
It need not follow that he hasn't a soul;
Because his stomach craves more than its part,
It's no sign he was born without a heart;
Though ragged, poor, or coarse, or impolite,
He may resent a wrong or feel a slight.
'Tis dangerous work, this making game of folks,
Thinking, perhaps, they do not heed your jokes.
Don't fool yourself; for, ten to one, they know it,
And feel it worse in laboring not to show it.

Well, on one day particularly fine,
Sam felt himself invited to help dine
With (in a small grove, shady, fresh, and cool)
A recently discovered Sunday-school:
Which, when he'd joined, he'd muttered, “This'll pass;
It's a swell crowd; the board'll be first-class.”
And so it was; and for an hour or more
Sam slew things as he never did before,
Wondering, with a gastronomic smile,
Where all these victuals 'd been all this long while;
And made the teachers feel a great surprise
That they'd so underrated their supplies;
And in his stomach could not but confess
That life to-day was one good square success.
Then, after dinner, feeling cute and smart,
He tried to make a little social start,
And frisk and frolic round, like any other,
And be accepted as a boy and brother.
But all the children shrank, with scarce-hid loathing,
From a strange lad in such imperfect clothing;
And soon Sam's face a misty sadness wore,
As if to say, “I b'lieve I'm snubbed once more.”
He tried to put them under obligations
With street accomplishments and fascinations:
In turning somersaults and hand-springs led,
Whistled and sang, danced, stood upon his head;
Even tried a friendly sparring match; till taken
Right in the act, misunderstood, and shaken
(By the strong mother of the lad he battled),
Till the provisions in him fairly rattled.
But whatsoe'er he did, discreet or bold,
It seemed to drive him farther in the cold.

The grove was near a river; on whose brink
Samuel sat down, with lots of time to think,
And watch some light boats swiftly past him go,
With happy children flitting to and fro,
Content to see him safe and dry on land.
And he thought, “No, I ain't much in demand.”

Just then a trim young miss came tripping by,
With golden hair, and more than handsome eye;
And Sam remarked, his face full of glad creases,
“That's the smart girl that scooped 'em speakin' pieces;
I wonder if she learned hers like a song,
Or made the speech up as she went along?
She came out first, though last upon the track,
But spoke so long it held the dinner back;
Still, what she said was sweet an' soothin' rather,
'Bout how ‘We all are children of one Father.’
If that's so, she's half-sister unto me—
At least I think I'll speak to her, and see.”
Then, thinking pleasantly to clear the way,
He shouted, “Miss, this 'ere's a pleasant day.”
But she flounced on, more haughty than before;
And Sam remarked, “I b'lieve I'm snubbed once more.”

While, roughly sad, the boy sat musing yet,
He heard a shout, “Help! help! our boat's upset!”
And, following with his eyes the fear-edged scream,
Sam saw three children struggling in the stream.
And two were rescued; one went 'neath a wave;
The waters closed above her like a grave.
She sank, apparently to rise no more,
While frantic crowds ran up and down the shore,
And, 'mid the turmoil, each one did his best,
Shouting first-class instructions to the rest.
“It's the swell girl,” thought Sam, “that's made this row;
I wonder how she likes the weather now?
I'd save her—if it wasn't too much bother—
‘Good deeds for evil—children of one Father.’
I rather think she's gone down there to stay;
She can't be yelled up, if they try all day.
Wonder, if I should save her, 'twould be bold?
I've dove for pennies—s'pose I dive for gold?”
Then, throwing off his coat—what there was of it—
He plunged into the water, rose above it,
Plunged in again, and came once more to air,
Grasping a pretty golden tress of hair,
And a fine, stylish, shapely girl attached,
With pale, sweet face, and lips that with it matched.
He held her up till strong arms came from shore;
And soon she raised her eyes, and lived once more.

But Sam, poor boy, exhausted, choked, and beaten
With the prodigious dinner he had eaten,
Strangled and sank beneath the river's brim;
And no one seemed to care to dive for him.
Indeed, 'twas hard from the cold waves to win him,
With such a large part of the picnic in him;
And when at last he came out, with “a haul,”
The school had one dead pupil, after all.

Poor drenched, dead hero!—in his tattered dress,
Sam now was a society success.
They crowded round the urchin, as he lay,
And talked about him in a mournful way;
And from the teachers efforts did not lack
To resurrect and bring their scholar back;
They thronged about him, kept from him the air,
Pounded him, pumped him, shook him up with care;
But useless was their toil, do all they could:
Sam and his dinner had gone on for good.

Nothing too nice that could be done and said
For this poor fellow—now that he was dead.
His casket was the finest and the best;
He went to his own funeral richly dressed.
They rigged him out in very pretty trim;
A rich, first-class procession followed him,
That reached the farthest distance up and down
Of any often witnessed in that town;
And all the children, shedding tears half hid,
Threw evergreens upon Sam's coffin-lid.

You youngsters tempted scornfully to smile,
If a poor boy doesn't come up to your style,
Or shrink from him as though perhaps he'll bite you,
Because he has some points that don't delight you,
Or think, because your “set” can do without him,
There's nothing much desirable about him,
Just recollect that squeamishness is sham,
And drop a kindly thought on Picnic Sam.