University of Virginia Library


xxi

DEMOCRACY UNVEILED,

OR, TYRANNY STRIPPED OF THE GARB OF PATRIOTISM.

1. VOL. I.

—Cæcum domus scelus omne retexit.

You rogues! you rogues! you're all found out
And, “We the People,” I've no doubt,
Will put a period to your dashing,
And honest men will come in fashion.


7

CANTO I.

The Tocsin.

ARGUMENT.

The wight, who led the Royal College
To furious fight, which all acknowledge
Exceeded, nineteen times to one,
All battles else beneath the sun,
Commences war with certain brats,
Who style themselves good Democrats,
Although in ten there's more than nine,
Just nine times worse than Cataline!
And first begins, sans any coaxing,
To sound his ruin-boding tocsin;
An awful prelude to the battle,
He means to wage with such vile cattle.
Devoid of influence or fear,
I trace Democracy's career,
And paint the vices of the times,
While bad men tremble at my rhymes;

8

I'll search in Democratic annals,
Elicit truth from dirty channels,
Describe low knaves in high condition,
Though speaking truth is deem'd sedition.

9

I would not, willingly, omit
One scoundrel, high enough to hit,
But should I chance to make omission,
I'll put him in my next edition.
But still with caution will refrain
From giving honest people pain;
And only private vice unmask,
Where public good requires the task.
I would not wantonly annoy....
No good man's happiness destroy;
None lives, I say, with honest pride, who
Despises slander more than I do.
But when vile convicts make pretence
To power and public confidence,
The indignant Muse of satire urges
The honest bard to ply her scourges.

10

And therefore be it known to all,
That though the risk I run's not small,
I'll lash each knave that's now in vogue,
Merely because he is a rogue;
And hope at least to pull the pride down,
Of those, who our best men have lied down,

11

And have contriv'd, the rogues, to rise
By arts, which honest men despise.
Unite your force then, Chronicleers,
With those who have, or have not .... ears. ...
The Ægis-man, and both the Tonies,
May join with half a dozen Honees.

12

Come, Cheetham, Duane, Smith and Pasquin,
In presidential favour basking;
With all your scoundrel gang affords,
Who straddle poles, or wear wood swords;
Imported patriots, whose fit station
Should be that kind of elevation,
Which happens oft to rogues, less callous,
When they're exalted on the gallows;
I hope your knaveships won't refuse,
To honor me with your abuse;
But let not these, my modest lays,
Be blasted by a scoundrel's praise; ....
For since my country's good demands
This piece of justice from my hands,
I'll string you up, sans ceremonie,
From Duane down to dirty Tony.

13

No threats, nor growling, shall prohibit
My hanging you on satire's gibbet;
Expos'd in dolorous condition,
Like flies impall'd by old Domitian.
Now, since we are a ruffian crew
As honest Jack Ketch ever knew;
Have chang'd your names, as well as courses,
Like folks who trade .... in stealing horses;
I'll take each Demo, and expose his
Form in his each metempsychosis,
Though he assumes as many shapes
As Jove for managing his rapes.
As Tories many of you vex'd us;
As Antifederals then perplex'd us;

14

And, ever bent upon confusion,
Oppos'd the Federal Constitution;
And then, camelion like, vile brats!
You call'd yourselves good Democrats;
And next to drive deception's game,
Self-styl'd Republicans. ... For shame!
And when by dint of different phases,
You crowd into your betters' places:
Republicans, by process curious,
Are split to “genuine” and “spurious.”
But after all these shifts....you rogues!
You're nothing more than demagogues,
And bawl for freedom, in your high rant,
The better to conceal the tyrant!

15

But my design and hope, and trust is,
To bring your leading knaves to justice;
Expos'd on satire's gibbet high,
To frighten others of the fry.
Thus, when our prudent farmers find
Your Democrats of feather'd kind,
Crows, blackbirds, and rapacious jays,
Dispos'd to plunder fields of maize;
If haply they destroy a few
Of such a lawless, plundering crew,
They hang them in conspicuous place,
To terrify the pilfering race.
 

It is indeed wonderful, (if any thing in the annals of Democracy can be so) that Democrats should, without a blush, affirm that the Sedition Law was “Law against Constitution.” Yet they have not only frequently asserted this among other LIES, but have represented it as a most horrible engine of tyranny, fabricated by the Federalists, for no other purpose but to oppress the people! And this was one, among many other still more atrocious falsehoods, which has formed the basis of their political consequence. The fact is, that this law not only mitigated the rigour of Common Law on that subject, but guarantied to the American Citizen an important right, which, under the domination of the now ruling party, he is not permitted to exercise. A prosecution has been instituted against Harry Croswell for a libel, but our Democratic liberty and equality gentlemen in office, would not permit the defendant to prove the truth of the matter alledged to be libellous!!

The attempting to hew blocks with razors, is a very foolish affair. The more knowing Democrats, who lead by the nose the simpletons of the party, are sensible of it. They therefore work upon their thick-headed supporters, with such sorry tools as the pair of Tonies aforesaid, parson Griswold, &c.

The person who in these times dares to rend the veil of Democracy, and disclose the demon in his naked deformity, must expect that the worshippers of that infernal idol, will vow vengeance on his devoted head. The sword of the duellist, it is to be feared, may merely precede the dagger of the assassin. But it is the duty of every real Republican, to be ready, like the Roman Curtius, to plunge into the gulf, and sacrifice himself to save his country.

I am no farther a foe to any of the characters who are the subjects of the following Satirical Strictures than as they are foes to good order, morality, and to my native country. Personal animosity is not among the motives which produced this Poem.

Reader, I will here present thee with one among many specimens, of the adroitness of our self-styled friends to the people, in the art and mystery of political lying.

At the time that our Envoys to France, Messrs. Marshall, Pinckney and Gerry, were insulted by those infamous propositions, from the French Directory, made through the medium of X. Y. and Z. which justly excited the indignation, not only of America, but of all Europe, it was promulgated by good Democrats among their ignorant supporters, that the dispatches from our Plenipotentiaries, were forged by Federalists at Philadelphia, for the purpose of throwing an odium on our great and magnanimous sister republic!! This impudent falsehood answered good democratic purposes. A full blooded Jacobin was sent to Congress, in retaliation of the aforesaid Federal forgery!!

This however is only one in a million. A long life devoted to the express purpose of detecting the falsehoods of the deceitful demagogues, who have crowded themselves into consequence, would be too short a period for that purpose; but

“Half the tale must be untold.”

These pure patriots shall receive, with those mentioned in the preceding lines, the homage of our attention in the 5th Canto of this our Poem!

We are informed by historians, that this Emperor amused his leisure hours, by impaling flies on the point of a needle.

Nothing can exceed in impudence the Democratic false hood, sooften repeated, that the Federalists were Tories under British influence &c.; when the truth is, that the Federalists were, most generally, active supporters of American Independence, while Jefferson was hiding himself in the cave of the mountain, and Tench Coxe was piloting the British army into Philadelphia.

This couplet has before occurred, but our predecessors, Homer and Virgil, were much addicted to iterations of this kind. The reader may please to consider it as the

Incipe Mænalios mecum mea tibia versus of this Poem.


17

CANTO II.

Illuminism.

ARGUMENT.

We now the origin will trace
Of that dire pest to human race,
That freedom, with which France was curst,
Ere Bonapart, the bubble burst:
The fiend exorcise from our land,
Who erst, with desolating hand,
Bade Democrats, a horrid train,
Half Europe “heap with hills of slain.”
There was a gaunt Genevan priest,
Mad as our New Lights are at least,
Much learning had, but no pretence
To wisdom, or to common sense.

18

This crazy wight, by some mischance,
Had rights to prosecute in France;

19

By legal subterfuge was cheated,
By pettifogging knaves, mal-treated;

20

Found foppish Frenchmen as they were
Delineated by Voltaire;

21

Polish'd their manners, yet insidious,
Professing friendship, still perfidious.

22

But since they were, by reputation,
A most polite and gallant nation,

23

And since the fickle, fluttering elves,
Were almost worshipp'd .... by themselves;

24

'Twas thence concluded, by Rosseau,
That all refinement did but go

25

To alter nature's simple plan,
And scoundrelize the creature man. ...

26

From whence he madly theoriz'd,
That man were best unciviliz'd,

27

Like those philosophers, who prate,
Of Innocence in savage state.

28

E'en took it in his crazy noddle,
A savage was perfection's model;

29

And nature without cultivation,
The ne plus ultra of creation.
Anticipated, happy dealings,
When mankind rul'd by social feelings,

30

Would be perfected, sans a flaw,
Without the Tyranny of Law.
From such sagacious theorizing,
Was form'd a plan of his devising,
By which society destroy'd
Perfection might be unalloy'd.
Indeed this arch illuminator
Seem'd fitted by the hand of Nature
To change the tone of public mind,
And revolutionize mankind.

31

Good reader we'll attempt to etch
A short characteristic sketch
Of this strange compound of a man,
Prime mover of the illumin'd clan.
But will not represent the elf,
Worse than he has pourtray'd himself,
What time he utter'd his concessions,
His Edmund Randolph-like “Confessions.”

32

He was, by 's own account, at once
An artful, and a stupid dunce,
Fickle and sullen, airy, grave,
A fool, philosopher, and knave.

33

A mixture odd of jarring qualities
Still toss'd about by strange fatalities,

34

Was now all lead, was now a bubble,
But ever happiest, when in trouble.

35

Never the same two hours together
In passion's hurricane a feather,

36

The lightest football now of folly,
Now sunk in morbid melancholy.

37

His head a wilderness of schemes,
A magazine of madman's dreams,

38

Was stuff'd with many a paradox,
Like plagues in Dame Pandora's box.
But still his eloquence was winning
As his, who tempted Eve to sinning,
And us'd too oft the self same way
To lead the human race astray.
And oft his Jack-o-lantern head
Its owner many a goose chase led,

39

Stretch'd on the tenters of anxiety
By blunder crime or impropriety.
So wild a scheme in politics
Seen never was on this side Styx,
As his rude harum scarum plan
Of his new social savage man.

40

Like other Democratic sages
He spurn'd the wisdom of all ages

41

And found perfection had beginning
In systems of his own dear spinning

42

That whatsoever is, is wrong
Was still the burthen of his song,

43

From whence his inference seem'd to be
Whatever is must cease to be:
And therefore Throne and Principality,
In gulph of Jacobin equality,

44

Must topsy turvy, down be tumbled
And all the powers which be—be humbled.
Of modesty he loos'd the zone
And made the female world his own,
By Chesterfieldian-like civility
And softening lust to sensibility.

45

And set the head upon the whirl
Of many a vain, and giddy girl,
Who weds her father's coachman since
She can't so well command a prince.
A gang of Sophists him succeed,
French Democrats, detested breed,
Encyclopedists, justly dreaded,
Steely nerv'd, and cobweb-headed.

46

With these unite a German swarm,
Of devils, guis'd in human form,

47

Cold-blooded and wrong-headed wights,
Weishaupt's detested proselytes;

48

Philosophists, Illuminati,
Beings, of whom at any rate, I

49

May well affirm a viler set,
Ne'er this side Pandemonium met.

50

Though scores of volumes would not hold,
What might of them with truth be told;
Though setting forth this horrid tale,
May make New England men turn pale; ....
Some of their tenets we will trace,
Which one would think could ne'er have place
This side the Democratic club,
Whose President is Beelzebub.

51

With other things, which mark the fiend,
That means are sanction'd by the end;
And if some good end we would further,
No matter if the means are murther!
That in this philosophic æra,
A God is found a mere chimæra,

52

By priests created but for wildering
Fools, ignoramusses and children;

53

That worlds of mind may be explor'd,
By lights, which matter can afford,

54

And Power Omnipotent must bend,
To what a worm can comprehend.

55

That by some accidental clatter,
Of pristine, crude, chaotic matter,
(But how, an Atheist only knows)
This beauteous universe arose.
That there is nothing like reality,
In future life and immortality;

56

When death our thread of fate shall sever,
We go to rest, and sleep forever.
That actions are, or are not virtuous,
As they conduce most good or hurt to us,
The agent judging their propriety.
And operation in society.
And maxims hammer'd out for steeling
The mind against each social feeling,
To gain attainable perfection,
Would root out natural affection.

57

Maintain'd that fathers, children, brothers,
No nearer are to us than others;
And as for that frail being, woman,
They held, she should be held in common;

58

That vice, in all the horrid shapes
Of murder, perjury, theft and rapes,
Is right in those, who can invent,
A mode t' escape from punishment.
That man should have no more remorse
For evil actions than his horse,
Because what vulgar folks call conscience,
Is nothing more than vulgar nonsense;
That modesty is all a trick
And chastity a fiddlestick,

59

A vile, old fashion'd sort of trimming
Meant to set off your pretty women;
Like sly finesse in fille de joye,
Who pleases more by being coy
Than if she came with air voluptuous
Sans ceremonie dancing up to us;
That thrones and powers must be demolish'd
And all things sacred be abolish'd,
Each man be all, and every thing,
A Subject, Magistrate and King;

60

Such principles as here are stated
By philosophs are propagated,
Sans intermission, or fatigue,
By open force, and dark intrigue.
The monsters made it still there aim
So fit for deeds without a name
Their pupils, train'd with wondrous art
To play the fell assassin's part.
The ties of nature disregarding
'Twas still there aim the heart to harden,
And make a murderer of man
To propagate perfection's plan.

61

No kind of care nor pains were stinted
To poison every thing that's printed,

62

By modes, which other men would scorn,
From folio, down to book of horn.

63

Among these human Demons were
Condorcet, Diderrot, Voltaire,

64

And other shrewd, self-boasting sages,
Whose names shall not disgrace our pages.

65

Now they appear in varied guise,
Like their great prototype of lies,

66

Who erst adroitly to deceive
In serpent's form accosted Eve.
In Paris many a democrat
In dark, infernal conclave sat,
Brooded on eggs of curs'd confusion,
And hatch'd the Gallic revolution.

67

Anon their black atrocious band
Skulk in disguise though every land,
Rebellion propagate, by stealth
Through City, Kingdom, Commonwealth.

68

Thus the fell fiend of yellow-fever,
Hurls viewless arrows from his quiver,
Hovers in darkness dire, and flings
Distruction from mephitick wings.
Nor were their efforts bent alone
Against the altar and the throne,
But were intended for prostration
Of order, law, and civ'lization.
They fought as bold as Bonaparts'
To level science and the arts;
Bid mankind list beneath the scrub
Of strongest arm, and largest club.
And swore to have the pure reality,
Essence of Jacobin equality,
That freedom, which no more nor less is,
Than wolves enjoy in wildernesses.

69

Their leading tenets tally nicely,
In many things the same precisely

70

Unfolded by that fish of odd fin,
The jacobinic William Godwin.

71

Who held society was needing
A little salutary bleeding,

72

To kill one half mankind were best,
And then philosophize the rest.

73

Some say one might say with propriety
They were like our St. Tam. Society;

74

But, as I know not whom I may hit,
Of course I shan't presume to say it.

75

Vile propagands in every city
Make smooth the path of French banditti,

76

And jacobin illumin'd savages
Prelude fell French fraternal ravages.

77

Kings, nobles, priests, besotted elves
Strangely combin'd against themselves,

78

Oppos'd with blind infuriate zeal
There own as well as publick weal.
But scarce the bard, in half a century,
Could mark the progress of this gentry,
Nor trace illuminated guilt
Through seas of blood by madmen spilt.
But well the reader knows, I fancy,
How freedom alamode de Francois
Was forc'd to choose for her protector
The Corsic despot to perfect her;
Surrender'd all her harlot charms
To murderer Buonaparte's arms,
And now is doubtless safe enough, in
The clutches of that ragamuffin.

79

When first the boding storm began
To threaten civil, social man,

80

When vials of Illumination
Were pour'd abroad on every nation.

81

Great Britain felt the fated shock,
But Pitt was her salvation's rock,

82

Like Calpe's mound amid the waves
He stems the tide, his country saves.
He sees the aims, and thwarts the plans
Of democratic partizans,
Breaks down nefarious coalitions
Of self-created politicians.
Now every man of sense agrees
That democrats, Illuminees,

83

Are birds obscene, and of a feather,
Should therefore all be class'd together.
They all object to the propriety
Of law and order in society,
Think reason will supply restraints,
And make mankind a set of saints.

84

These principles excite to action
The restless Pennsylvania faction,
While tertium quids oppose in vain,
The daring demagogue Duane.

85

Such principles, alas, will flood
Columbia's “happy land” with blood,
Unless kind Providence restrain
These demons of the hurricane.
 

No doubt every hound in the Democratic pack, will open upon me, for introducing in this place what they would call the phantom of Illuminism. But, scriptæ literæ manent. There are certain damning facts, which, with all their shuffling ingenuity, and sneaking evasions, will ever stare them in the face. They never have been able to prove, that either the Abbe Barruel, or Professor Robison, (who with a great number of other credible witnesses have testified to the existence of Illuminism and its damning tendency) were weak or wicked men, were deceived themselves, or entertained a wish to deceive others. Besides, the documents which have been adduced, and the multitude of corroborating circumstances, which go to prove that this mystery of iniquity has a real existence, cannot fail to enforce conviction on the minds of the most credulous. How far the developement of the plans of the Illuminati by Professor Robison and others may have induced them to defer the execution of their nefarious projects, it is impossible to determine. They may, perhaps, be resting on their oars, and watching, till the popular current, shall set in their favour. It certainly behoves those who wish well to society, who prefer the social to the savage state, and who would not wish that American should realize all the horrors of the most bloody revolutions recorded in history, to keep a watchful eye over the motions of this most infernal of all JUNTOS.

I know there are many of our politicians, who seem determined not to believe that Illuminism to any dangerous extent has ever existed in America, and that its influence in Europe has been much less than has by many been apprehended. I wish for the honor of human nature that there was less proof of the existence of such a combination. As the fact of the existence, or at least of the pernicious tendency of Illuminism, is by our democrats generally denied, I shall confine myself in this note to the establishment of the credibility of one of the principal witnesses in convicting this nefarious gang of their diabolical conspiracy.

“As Dr. Robison is a principal evidence in the cause now pending, it will be necessary to enquire, whether we have a just view of the man. The result of this inquiry, will serve to give the public some idea of the means which have been made use of to discredit Illuminism, and how benevolently disposed some among us are, to prevent their countrymen from being misled by what are called, the ridiculous reveries of Robison. The reader's patience, it is feared, will be exhausted by the detail of credentials which the effrontery of his accusers have rendered necessary; but the character of a witness is of the first importance. The following sketch of the principal events of the life of Dr. Robison, was drawn up from authentic documents, received directly from Edinburgh, through a respectable channel.”

“The father of the Professor, a respectable country gentleman, intended him for the church, and gave him eight years of an University education at Glasgow. Prefering a different profession, he accepted an offer of going into the Navy, with very flatering prospects. He was appointed Mathematical Instructor to his Royal Highness the Duke of York. In that office, he accordingly entered the Navy in February, 1759, being that day twenty years old. He was present at the siege of Quebeck. With the late Admiral Knowles, he was particularly connected, and his son, afterwards captain Knowles, one of the most promising young officers in the British Navy, was committed to his charge.

“In 1761, he was sent by the board of Admiralty, to make trial of Harrison's Watch of Jamaica. At the peace of 1763, he returned to College. In 1764, he was again appointed by the Admiralty to make trial of Harrison's improved Watch at Barbadoes; but his patron, Lord Anson, being dead, and the conditions not such as pleased him, he declined the employment, returned again to College, and took under his care the only remaining son of his friend, Sir Charles Knowles. This son is the present Admiral Sir Charles Knowles.

In 1770, Sir Charles was invited by the Empress of Russia to take charge of her Navy. He took Mr. Robison with him as his Secretary. In 1772, Mr. Robison was appointed superintendant of the education in the Marine Caslet Corps, where he had under his direction about 500 youth, 350 of whom were sons of noblemen and gentlemen, and 26 masters in the different studies. The Academy being burnt, Mr. Robison, with his pupils, removed to an ancient palace of Peter the Great at Constradt, a most miserable, desolate island, where, finding no agreeable society, he availed himself of the first opportunity, of quitting so unpleasant a situation, and accepted an invitation from the Magistrates of Edinburgh, to the Professorship of Natural Philosophy in the University in that city, which ranks among the first Universities in the world. To this very honorable office he acceded in August, 1774, and from that time continued his lectures, without interruption, till 1792, when illness obliged him to ask for an assistant. To enable him to give such a salary to his assistant, as would make the place worth the acceptance of a man of talents, the King was pleased to give him a pension of 100l. a year. After five years confinement, by a painful disorder, he resumed his chair, in 1797.

“In 1796, he was elected a member of the Philosophical Society at Philadelphia, of which Mr. Jefferson is President; and in 1797, a member of the Royal Society of Manchester. In 1799, after the publication of his book, the University of Glasgow, where he received his education, conferred on him, unsolicited, the honor of a Doctor's degree in Law, in which, contrary to the usual custom in these cases, is given a very particular and flattering account of his nine years studies in that University. This peculiar evidence of esteem and respect was given in this way, in order that his Diploma might have all the civil consequences which long standing could give. When he published his book, in 1797, he was Secretary of the Royal Society of Edinburgh. In April, 1800, without solicitation of a single friend, he was unanimously elected a Foreign Member (there are but six) of the Imperial Academy of Sciences, at St. Petersburg, which, in point of reputation, is esteemed the third on the continent of Europe in the room of the much lamented and highly celebrated Dr. Black. To prepare for the press and superintend the publication of the Chemical writings of this great man, required the ablest Chemist in Great Britain. This distinguished honour has been conferred on Professor Robison, who has undertaken this important work. This appointment, for which no man perhaps is more competent, together with the numerous, learned, and copious articles which he has furnished for the Encyclopedia Britanica, fully evince that in reputation and solid learning, he ranks among the first literary characters in Europe. Add to all this, he sustains a MORAL character, so fair and unblemished, that any man may safely be challenged to lay any thing to his charge of which an honest man need be ashamed.”

“The following account of Professer Robison, is from a work entitled “Literary Memoirs of Living Authors of Great Britain,” &c. in two volumes, 8 vo. published in London, 1798, for R. Faulder:

“John Robison, Esq. M. A. Secretary of the Royal Society at Edinburgh, and Professor of Natural Philosophy, in the University. Professor Robison is distinguished for his accurate and extensive knowledge, especially on subjects of science. He contributed to the Encyclopedia Britanica the valuable articles, Physics Pneumatics, Precession of the Equinoxes, Projectiles, Pumps, Resistance of Fluids, River, Roof, Rope-making, Rotation, Seamanship, Signals, Sound, Specific Gravity, Statics, Steam, Steam-Engine, Strength of Materials, Telescope, Tide, Articulating-Trumpet, Variation of Compass, and Water-works, also Philosophy, in association with Dr. Gleig.

“In the autumn of the year 1797, Professor Robison published an octavo volume, entitled “Proofs of a Conspiracy,” &c. This volume has been favourably received, and although too hasty a performance for a work of so much consequence, is well entitled, both from its subject and its authenticity, to the serious attention of every reader. It arrives at the same remarkable conclusion as the celebrated Memoirs of the Abbe Barruel, Illustrating the history of Jacobinism, though the authors were perfectly unconnected with each other, and pursued their enquiries in very different ways. It has raised (we are sorry for such an appearance) a considerable clamour and enmity against the Professor; though it was written, we are fully convinced from the best of motives. We cannot conclude this article without observing that the principles, and honest zeal which Professor Robison has displayed upon this occasion, are higly creditable to him, and merit the warmest acknowledgments from society in general.”

Concerning the facts contained in this historical sketch, which were communicated to Dr. Erskine, he writes thus; “The most important facts in it I have had access to know, being first settled at Kirkintillock, the neighbouring parish to Bederoch, where lay, the estate of his worthy father. For the few facts of which I know less, full and unexceptionable vouchers can be produced.”

I shall in the following notes in this endeavour to point out the connection between Illuminism and those causes which produced the French revolution, and the present establishment of tyranny in France.

Jean Jaques Rousseau, the father of modern Democracy. For some further account of the levelling tenets of this profligate wretch, see Abbe Barruel's History of Jacobinism, vol. 2. chap. iii. and “Rosseau's confessions.”

By New Lights, I mean not merely the particular sect or denomination of fanatics, who are known exclusively by that appellation; but all your itinerant, ignorant, bawling, field and barn preachers, whatever may be their professed tenets, who go about “creeping into men's houses, leading captive silly women,” exerting themselves to destroy regular and established societies, alienating the minds of the people from their established pastors, and indeed from all clergymen regularly inducted to their sacred office. These wretches are generally demagogues, and the characters of most of them stained with vices.

Fanatics have ever been, like Cromwell and his faction, fomenters of that spirit of turbulence and insurrection which leads to anarchy, and invariably terminates in despotism.

Most of the bawling Itinerants who have fallen within the sphere of our observation, are perfectly French in their politics. They have been correctly described in the following lines:

Most true it is, though passing odd,
That this our godly band,
Have join'd the men WITHOUT A GOD,
And imps of Talleyrand.

But we have another pill for them in our 5th Canto.

Voltaire, in some of his writings, has affirmed in substance, that his countrymen were a strange compound of the subtility of the Monkey and the ferocity of the Tiger. That in his time, they were amusing themselves and other by their apish airs, but that he foresaw the time in which they would put off the Monkey and put on the Tiger to the infinite annoyance of mankind. Here it seems that “Saul was among the prophets!”

I cannot resist the temptation of transcribing, from “Guthrie's Tour through the Taurida, or Crimea, the ancient kingdom of Bosphorus,” &c. the following remarks, relative to this savage sort of innocence, with which the founders of Democracy in Europe, and our American Jacobins, seem so highly enamoured.

“We saw nothing in passing this extensive stept or plain, but an immense extent of pasturage, well adapted for the wide range of these Nomades, (savage inhabitants) with their flying camps and numerous herds. But it is by no means with a mind at ease, that one passes through the country of a people, who have kept the surrounding nations, for ages, in continual alarms by their predatory excursions.

“It is imposible, in a tour through the wilds of Scythia, not to smile at the ideas which speculating philosophers, from their cabinets, have spread abroad on the innocence and happiness of the pastoral state; probably by confounding men who follow the occupation of shepherds in civil society, with the shepherds of Holy Writ, and the pastoral Tartars of Arabs, who have, at different periods, drenched the world in blood, and put whole nations to the sword. This ridiculous ignorance is of a piece with the eulogiums of the same speculatists on man in a state of nature, whom we are sorry to acknowledge, after the new light thrown on the subject by our late circumnavigators, joined with other circumstances, to be the most savage and dangerous animal in nature, often feeding on his vanquished enemies. We find however, that he is always mild, humane, and rational, in proportion to his advancement to civilization; although even that seems to have its limits, after which he again becomes a savage. Of this we have a recent instance in the most highly polished nation in Europe, destroying all human and divine institutions.

The state of society which is here described, is precisely that which Democracy let loose, would introduce into this country. But our most refined Democrats appear to have a wish to save the intermediate stages which the French have passed; and, by “Destroying all human and divine institutions,” step into a state of nature at once.

See Rousseau's Emilius, Godwin's Political Justice, and other writings of the canting philosophists of the same school. It is one of the inconsistencies of these black-hearted, and wrong-headed enthusiasts, to be ever prating about maintaining society without law or subordination, by the social feelings, while they are busily employing themselves to annihilate those feelings. But I cannot better express my ideas on this subject, than in the following words of Professor Robison:

“Indeed of all the consequences of Illumination, the most melancholy, is the revolution which it seems to operate in the heart of man. The forcible sacrifice of every affection of the heart to an ideal divinity, a mere creature of the imagination. It seems a prodigy, yet it is a matter of experience, that the farther we advance, or vainly suppose that we do advance in the knowledge of our mental powers, the more are our moral feelings flattened and done away. I remember reading, long ago, a Dissertation on the Nursing of Infants, by a French Academician, Le Cointre, of Versailles. He indelicately supports his theories, by the case of his own son, a weak, puny infant, whom his mother was obliged to keep continually applied to her bosom, so that she rarely could get two hours of sleep during the time of suckling him. M. Le Cointre says, that she contracted for this infant, une partialité tout á-fait deraisonable. Plato, Socrates, or Cicero, would probably have explained this by the habitual exercise of pity, a very endearing emotion. But our Academician, better illuminated, solves it by stimuli, on the papilla, and on the nerves of the skin, and by the meeting of the humifying aura, &c. and does not seem to think that young Le Cointrè was much indebted to his mother.”

Rousseau wrote a book, with the title of “The Confessions of J. J. Rousseau,” and a very precious legacy is therein bequeathed to mankind. The outlines of our short sketch of his character are taken chiefly from these memoirs. A writer in the Encyclopædia Britannica has the following remarks on that performance.

“In the preface to these memoirs, which abound with characters well drawn, and written with warmth, with energy, and sometimes with elegance, he presumes (says M. Palissot) like a peevish misanthrope, who boldly introduces himself on the ruins of the world, to declare to mankind, whom he supposes assembled upon these ruins, that in that innumerable multitude, none could dare to say I am better than that man. This affectation of seeing himself alone in the universe, and of continually directing every thing to himself, may appear to some morose minds a fanaticism of pride of which we have no examples, at least since the time of Cardan. But this is not the only blame which may be attached to the author of the Confessions. With uneasiness we see him, under the pretext of sincerity dishonour the character of his benefactress, lady Warrens, &c. Again the same writer remarks. “It is certain that if Rousseau has given a faithful delineation of some persons, he has viewed others through a cloud, which formed in his mind perpetual suspicions. He imagined he thought and spoke truly; but the simplest thing in nature, says M. Servant, if distilled through his violent and suspicious hand, might become poison.”

A very proper person truly to write political essays, “Social compacts,” &c. to which mankind are to have recourse for standards in forming a government, and political societies.

The odd mixture of heterogeneous qualities, which distinguished this singular character is thus described by himself. Speaking of an interview with a patron, who designed to promote him if found worthy of promotion, he thus describes his own behaviour and that of his friend.

“He took an excellent method of making me chatter, spoke freely with me, put me under as little restraint as possible, talked to me of trifles and on all sorts of subjects; all without seeming to observe me, without the least affectation, and as if pleased with me, he would converse without restraint. I was delighted with him. The result of his observations was, that, whatever my exterior and my animated physiognomy might promise, I was if not absolutely a fool, at least a boy of very little sense, without ideas, almost without acquirements; in a word, a very shallow fellow in all respects, and that the honor of becoming the parson of a village, was the greatest fortune I ought to aspire to. This was the second or third time I was thus judged, it was not the last.”

He explains this stupidity in the following manner:

“Two things almost inalliable, unite in me, without my being able to perceive the manner. A constitution extremely violent, impetuous and lively passions, and ideas slowly produced, confused, and which never offer till after the proper time. You would think my heart and mind do not belong to the same individual. Sentiment, quicker than light fills my soul, but instead of enlightening, fires and dazzles me. I feel every thing and see nothing. I am transported but stupid; I must be cool to think. What astonishes is that I have my feeling pretty sure, penetration, and even delicate wit, provided they'll wait for me: I can make an excellent impromptu, at leisure, but in an instant I never wrote or said any thing clever.

“Thence comes the extreme difficulty I find in writing. My manuscripts scratched, blotted, mixed, not legible, attest the trouble they cost me. Not one, but I was obliged to transcribe four or five times before it went to the press. I never could do any thing, the pen in hand, opposite a table and paper: 'twas in my walks, amidst rocks and woods; 'twas in the night, during my slumbers I wrote in my brain, you may judge how slowly, particularly to a man deprived of verbal memory, and who in his life never could retain six verses by heart. Some of my periods have been turned and winded five or six nights in my head before they were in a state for going on paper.

“I am not only troubled to render my ideas, but also in receiving them. I have studied mankind, and think myself a tolerable good observator: nevertheless I cannot see any thing in that I perceive. I see clearly that only which I recollect, and I have no knowledge but in my recollections.” &c. Thus it appears this philosopher's wits were always a wool gathering. He possessed undoubtedly what– Dr. Darwin would style the temperament of genius, which might qualify him for a smooth and pretty writer of “Reveries,” but that best boon of heaven common sense is never the lot of such a genius.

I may perhaps seem unjustifiably harsh in applying the epithet knave to this great modern philosopher. But if the reader will please to consult his confessions he will find a sorry story, which he tells of himself, which is sufficient to justify me in bestowing on him appellations still more severe. He will there find that our great philosopher stole a ribband, and attributed the theft to a servant girl, by which she was ruined. Ingratitude is likewise a trait in his character entirely consistent with his sublime sentiments and perfect philosophism.

In this he was not quite alone in the world, there appears to be an order of beings, to whom nothing but the stimulus of being in distress can give energy. Some of the English poets were of that description of character. Thomson proposed to write a poem on the man who loved to be in distress, and if we are to judge of the character by the conduct of many of his tuneful brethren, they courted, rather than shunned misfortune, perhaps that they might enjoy the luxury of being pitied. Pope, Addison, Swift, and many others, however, were willing enough to be exempted from the iron hand of the relentless power yclep'd ADVERSITY, to whom Gray has addressed one of the finest odes in the English language. But to return to Rosseau, he gives this account of his circumstances, while a vagrant in France.

“Being reduced to pass my nights in the street, may certainly be called suffering, and this was several times the case at Lyons, having preferred buying bread with the few pence I had remaining, to bestowing them on a lodging; as I was convinced there was less danger of dying for want of sleep than of hunger. What is astonishing, while in this unhappy situation, I took no care for the future, was neither uneasy or melancholy, but patiently waited an answer to Madamoiselle du Chatelet's letter, and laying in the open air, stretched on the earth, or on a bench, slept as soundly as if reposing on a bed of roses. I remember particularly to have past a most delightful night at some distance from the city, in a road which had the Rhone, or Saone, I can't recollect which, on one side, and a range of raised gardens, with terraces on the other. It had been a very hot day, the evening was delightful, the dew moistened the fading grass, no wind was stirring, the air was fresh without chillness, the setting sun had tinged the clouds with a beautiful crimson, which was again reflected by the water, and the trees that bordered the terrace were filled with nightingales who were continually answering each other's songs. I walked along in a kind of extacy, giving up my heart and senses to the enjoyment of so many delights, and sighing only from a regret of enjoying them alone. Absorbed in this pleasing reverie, I lengthened my walk till it grew very late, without perceiving I was tired; at length, however, I discovered it, and threw myself on the step of a kind of niche, or false door, in the terrace wall. How charming was the couch! the trees formed a stately canopy, a nightingale sat directly over me, and with his soft notes lulled me to rest: how pleasing my repose, my awaking more so. It was broad day; on opening my eyes I saw the water, the verdure, an admirable landscape before me. I arose, shook off the remains of drowsiness, and finding I was hungry, retook the way to the city, resolving, with inexpressible gaiety, to spend the two pieces of six blancs I had yet remaining in a good breakfast. I found myself so chearful that I went all the way singing; I even remember I sang a cantata of Baptistin's called the Baths of Thomery, which I knew by heart.”

Thomson has given us no bad picture of Rousseau, and some other pretended philosophers of the visionary cast in his personification of Hypochondria.

“And moping here did Hypochondria sit
“Mother of spleen, in robes of various dye,
“Who vexed was full oft with ugly fit,
“And some her frantic deem'd, and some her deem'd a wit.

Madness is frequently mistaken for inspiration, and want of common sense, is often thought a proof of I know not what sublime sense. Thus the ravings of Della Crusca and the moon struck tribe of sonneteers in the same school, have been thought to be the perfection of poetry. Indeed Della Crusca's poetry and Rosseau's politics are different diagnostics of the same disease, and the poor creatures who are affected with these symptoms are absolutely mad!

Some of these lay scatter'd here and there in his “Confessions.” It appears that this geat man, first ran away from his father, then from his patroness and mistress Madame de Warrens, and that he was ever and anon eloping from his benefactors, in pursuit of some chimerical project.

Rousseau's Emilius and Social Contract are proofs in point of our assertion. A regular critique upon these publications would exceed our limits. A word or two, however, upon the latter may not be useless, especially as this is the fountain from whence Pain and other Sciolists of the new school appear to have derived their political principles.

“Man” (say Rousseau) “is born free and yet we see him every where in chains.” Social Contract. Book 1. Chap. 1. Again in the same Chapter he observes,

“If I were only to consider force, and the effects of it I should say that, when a nation is constrained to obey and does obey it does well; but whenever it can throw of the yoke, and does throw it off it does better.”

Now this profound philosopher does not attempt to tell us what he means by the term yoke, but he says that man is every where in chains, and we are led to conclude that those nations who mean to “do better” than “well” will immediately set themselves about overturning their governments.

After a great number of paradoxical observations, the substance of which had been before made by Montesquieu, and have since been enlarged upon by Tom Pain and his disciples, we are presented with paradox of paradoxes, as follows,

“Where shall we find a form of association which will defend and protect with the whole aggregate force the person and the property of each individual, and by which every person, while united with ALL, shall obey only HIMSELF, and remain as free as before the union? Book 1. Chap. 6.

Hic labor, hoc opus est. I have my doubts whether all this will ever be found. Rosseau however says,

“Every malefactor who, by attacking the social right becomes a rebel and a traitor to his country ceases by that act to be a party in willing the laws and makes war, in fact, with himself.” Book 2. Chap. 5.

Here we learn that the criminal who is condemned by the laws of his country, has signed his own act of condemnation by consenting to become a member of the society from which he is cut off as an excrescence, and if he is executed for crimes committed against the society of which he is a member, he is guilty of a felo de se, in having consented to become a member of such society.

We likewise in Book 2. Chap. 3. are informed that the general will cannot err, (vox populi, vox dei) and that it tends invariably to the public advantage. Yet we are told almost in the same breath that the people, a majority of whose suffrages compose this infallible general will are often deceived. That is that the expressions of the will of a fallible body are always infallible.

The French revolutionary jargon about liberty and equality is borrowed from this production.

But we shall not fatigue our readers by a detail of of all the absurdities, and contradictions, with which this treatise is teeming. The author appears to think that a nation is a kind of machine, and may be governed by mechanical principles, but has no clear idea of the wonderful mechanism which he attempts to explain. Hence we are every where lost in a jargon of words without meaning, and perplexed by distinctions without difference. He was certainly correct in complaining that his ideas were confused. But it is really astonishing that the vain philosophy of this and similar writers, should have the effect of exciting the mad million to overturn all existing systems, without any distinct idea of what they were to substitute in the place of what they destroyed. They would demolish a palace before they had provided materials for erecting even a hovel on its site.

The author of the Pursuits of Literature has the following remarks on this writer, “Rousseau, by the unjustifiable, arbitrary and cruel proceedings against him, his writings and person in France, where he was a stranger and to whose tribunals he was not amenable, was stimulated to pursue his researches into the origin and expedience of such government, and of such oppression which, otherwise, he probably never would have discussed; till he reasoned himself into the desperate doctrine of Political equality, and gave to the world his fatal present the “Social Contract.” Of this work the French since the revolution have never lost sight. With them it is first, and last, and middle, and without end in all their thoughts and public actions. Rousseau is, I believe the only man to whom they have paid an implicit and undedeviating reverence; and without a figure have worshipped in the Pantheon of their new idolatry, like a new Chemos, the obscure dread of Gallia's sons.

Let us grant to our revolutionists that all the powers which be were originally founded on oppression, and that by tracing the titles, we shall find some defect which in the opinion of casuists like Rousseau, ought to weaken their claims. Yet they must allow there ought to be power somewhere in society, which shall be sufficient to coerce, restrain and punish the turbulent and vicious; and those who are solicitous to pull down and destroy such power, ough surely to be able to establish a better claim in those who are to succeed in its possession Besides power is more frequently abused by an upstart, who has intrigued, forced and perhaps assasinated his way into office, than by one who enjoys it by more justifiable means. The head of a man not accustomed to elevation is apt to be giddy if he is exalted, and the little finger of a Buonaparte is generally heavier than the loins of a Louis.

The following beautiful lines are from “Jacobinism,” a poem printed in England 1801.

“With subtlest passion to inflame the heart
The Swiss magician wakes his wondrous art,
How throbs the unpractised bosom, warm and frail,
O'er Eloisa's soft seductive tale!
Soft as the music of the vocal grove,
He pours the thrilling strains of lawless love;
Soft as enamour'd virgin's melting lay,
Or Zephyr panting on the lap of May.”

To this quotation we are tempted to add one from Coleman's Broad Grins, which although expressed in a very different stile, is not less to the purpose than the preceding.

“Were I a pastor of a boarding school,
“I'd quash such books in toto;—if I could'nt,
“Let me but catch one Miss that broke my rule,
“I'd flog her soundly; dam me if I would'nt.”

The arts of which the French Encyclopedists made use, for disseminating the poison of their principles, are detailed at large by the Abbe Barruel, vol. 1. chap. iv. to which we must refer the reader who wishes for more ample information on this subject. Some of the tricks, however, of these Illuminees, were so perfectly similar to those of the shuffling Jacobins of the present period, who mutilate, garble, and misquote Adams' Defence of the American Constitution, in order to show that the author of a treatise, written in defence of a Republican form of government, is at heart a monarchist, that we think it cannot be malapropos, to exhibit a few of their mischievous devices.

“Look for the article God, (Genevan edition) and you will find very sound notions, together with the direct, physical and metaphysical demonstration of his existence; and indeed, under such an article, it would have been too manifest, to have broached any thing bordering on Atheism, Spinonism, or Epicurism; but the reader is referred to the article Demonstration, and there all the physical and metaphysical cogent arguments for the existence of a God disappear. We are there taught, that all direct demonstrations suppose the idea of infinitude, and that such an idea cannot be of the clearest, either for the naturalist, or the metaphysician. This, in a word, destroys all confidence the reader had in the proofs adduced of the existence of God. There again, they are pleased to tell you, that a single insect, in the eyes of a philosopher, more forcibly proves the existence of a God, than all the metaphysical arguments whatever; (ibid.) but you are then referred to Corruption, where you learn how much you are to beware of asserting, in a positive manner, that corruption can never beget animated bodies; and that such a production of animated bodies by corruption seems to be countenanced by daily experiments; and it is from these experiments precisely, that the Atheists conclude that the existence or God is unnecessary, either for the creation of man of animals. Prepossessed by these references against the existence of God, led the reader turn to the articles of Encyclopaedia, and Epicurism. In the former, he will be told. That there is no being in nature that can be called the first or last, and that a machine, infinite in every way, must be the Deity. In the latter, the atom is to be the Deity. It will be the primary cause of all things, by whom, and of whom, every thing is active essentially of itself, Alone Unalterable, Alone Eternal, Alone Immutable; and thus the reader will be insensibly led from the God of the gospel, to the Heathenish fiction of an Epicurus, or of a Spinosa.

The same cunning is to be found in the article of the Soul. Where the sophisters treat directly of its essence, they give the ordinary proofs of its spirituality, and of its immortality. They will even add to the article Brute, that the soul cannot be supposed material, nor can the brute be reduced to the quality of a mere machine, without running the hazard of making man an automato. And under Natural Law, we read, That if the determinations of man, or even his oscillations arise from any thing material extraneous to his soul, there will be neither good nor evil, neither just nor unjust, neither obligation nor right. Then referred to the article Locke, in order to do away all this consequence, we are told, That it is of no importance whether matter thinks or not, for what is that to justice or injustice, to the immortality of the soul, and to all the truth of the system, whether political or religious. The reader, enjoying the liberty and equality of his reason, is left to doubt with regard to the spirituality, and no longer knows whether he should not think himself all matter.

But he will decide, when under the article Animal, he finds, That life and animation are only physical properties of matter; and lest he should think himself debased by his resembling a plant or an animal, to console him in his fall, they will tell him, article Encyclopedia and Animal, That the only difference between certain vegetables, and animals such as us, is, that they sleep, and that we wake, that we are animals that feel, and that they are animals that feel not; and still further in article Animal, That the sole difference between a stock and a man, is, that the one never falls, while the other never falls after the same manner.

After perusing these articles bonâ fide, the reader must be insensibly drawn into the vortex of materialism.

In treating of Liberty or Free Agency, we find the same artifice. When they treat it directly, they will say, “Take away liberty, all human nature is overthrown, and there will be no trace of order in society. Recompense will be ridiculous, and chastisement unjust, The ruin of liberty carries with it that of all order of police, and legitimates the most monstrous crimes; so monstrous a doctrine is not to be debated in the schools, but punished by the magistrates,” &c. Then follows a portion of Democratic rant: “Oh, liberty,” they exclaim, “Oh, liberty, gift of Heaven! Oh, liberty of action! Oh, liberty of thought! thou alone art capable of great things!” (See article Authority, and the Preliminary Discourse.) But at the article Chance, (fortuit) all this liberty of action and of thought, is only a power that cannot be exercised, that cannot be known by actual exercise; and Diderot, at the article Evidence, pretending to support Liberty, will very properly say, “This concatenation of causes and effects, supposed by the philosophers, in order to form ideas representing the mechanism of the universe, is as fabulous as the Tritons and the Naiads.” But, both he and D'Alembert, descant again on that concatenation, and returning to Chance (fortuit) tell us, “That though it is imperceptible it is not less real; that it connects all things in nature, that all even's depend on it; just as the wheels of a watch, as to the motion, depend on each other: that from the first moment of our existence, we are by no means masters of our motions; that were there a thousand worlds similar to this, and simultaneously existing, governed by the same laws, every thing in them would be done in the same way; and that man, in virtue of these same laws would perform, at the same time, the same actions, in each one of these worlds.” This will naturally convince the uninformed reader, of the chimæra of such liberty or free agency, which cannot be exercised. Not content with this, Diderot, at the article Fatality, after a long dissertation on this concatenation of causes, ends, by saying, That it cannot be contested either in the physical world, or in the moral and intellectual world. Hence, what becomes of that liberty, without which there no longer exists just or unjust obligation or right?”

These examples will suffice to convince the reader of the truth of what we have asserted, as to the artful policy with which the Encyclopedia had been digested; they will show with what cunning its authors sought to spread the principles of Atheism, Materialism and Fatalism; in fine, every error incompatible with that religion, for which they professed so great a reverence at their outset.

The character of this abominable wretch, who debauched his wife's sister, and attempted to murder her, together with the fruits of their illicit commerce, is but a type of that of many leading jacobins in this country. His intimate friends and disciples, were all monsters of iniquity. See Robison's Proofs, p. 114. and 130.

“Nothing was so frequently discoursed of” (in the German Lodges) “as the propriety of employing for a good purpose, the means which the wicked employed for evil purposes.”

Robison's Proofs.

This abominable tenet of the Illuminati, appears to have been the principal rule of action of the monster, Roberspierre, who made France an aceldama, for the purpose of introducing his fancied perfection.

Freret, whose writings were recommended by the Illuminati, tells us expressly, “The universal cause, that God of the Philosophers, of Jews, and of Christians, is but a chimæra, and a phantom.” The same author continues, “Imagination daily creates fresh chimæras, which raises in them that impulse of fear, and such is the phantom of the Deity.”

To the opinion of these philosophists, might be opposed that of a host of real philosophers. But the following observations of Professor Robison, are so apposite, that we think they supercede our own remarks.

“Our immortal Newton, to whom the philosophers of Europe look up as the honor of our species, whom even Mr. Bailly, the president of the National Assembly of France, and mayor of Paris, cannot find words sufficiently energetic to praise; this patient, sagacious and successful observer of nature, after having exhibited to the wondering world, the characteristic property of that principle of material nature, by which all the bodies of the Solar system are made to form a connected and permanent universe; and after having shewn that this law of action alone was adapted to this end, and that if gravity had deviated but one thousandth part from the inverse duplicate ratio of the distances, the system must, in the course of a very few revolutions, have gone into confusion and ruin; sits down, and views the goodly scene; and then closes his principles of natural philosophy with this reflection, (his scholium generale.)

“This most elegant frame of things could not have arisen, unless by the contrivance and the direction of a wise and powerful being; and if the fixed stars are the centres of systems these systems must be similar; and all these constructed according to the same plan, are subject to the government of one Being. All these he governs, not as the soul of the world, but as the Lord of all; therefore, on account of his government he is called the Lord God. ... Παιτοκρατορ; for God is a relative term, and refers to his subjects. Deity is God's government, not of his own body, as those think who consider him as the soul of the world, but of his servants. The Supreme God, is a being, eternal, infinite, absolutely perfect. But a being, however perfect without government, is not God; for we say, my God, your God, the God of Israel. We cannot say my eternal, my infinite. We may have some notions indeed of his attributes, but we can have none of his nature. With respect to bodies, we see only shapes and colour; hear only sounds; touch only surfaces. These are attributes of bodies; but of their essence we know nothing. As a blind man can form no notion of colours, we can form none of the manner in which God perceives, and understands, and influences every thing.

“Therefore we know God only by his attributes. What are these? The wise and excellent structure, and final aim of all things. In these, his perfections, we admire him and we wonder. In his directions or government, we venerate and worship him; we worship him as his servants; and God, without dominion, without providence, and final aims, is Fate; not the object either of reverence, of hope, or of fear.”

These are the sentiments of a real philosopher, not a Tom Pain, a Godwin, or a Voltaire.

It has ever appeared to us as the essence of folly, for those who pretend to be philosophers, to deny the being of a God, because they cannot comprehend how he exists. As well might they deny the existence of the atmosphere, because it is invisible. Will these presumptuous mortals affirm that the magnetic needle does not point towards the pole, because they cannot develope the cause of the magnetic influence? Then may they affirm, that because they cannot

Trace the secret mystic links which bind
The world of matter to the world of mind,

that there is no God and no mind in the universe.

“The author of Good Sense, which D'Alembert wishes to see abridged, in order to sell it for five pence to the poor and ignorant, says, That the phenomena of nature, only prove the existence of God, to a few prepossessed men; that the wonders of nature, so far from speaking a God, are but the necessary efforts of matter, infinitely diversified.”

Barruel.

Boulanger tells us, “That the immortality of the soul, so far from stimulating men to the practice of virtue, is nothing but a barbarous, desperate and fatal tenet, and contrary to all legislation.” “In the lodges, (of the Illuminati) death was declared to be an eternal sleep.”

Robison's Proofs.

Helvetius says, “That the only rule by which virtuous actions are distinguished from vicious ones, is the law of princes, and public utility. That virtue, that honesty, with regard to individuals, is no more than the habit of actions personally advantageous, and that self interest is the scale by which the actions of those can be measured.”

“The commandment of loving father and mother, is more the work of education, than of nature.”

Helvetius.

“By a decree of the French National Convention (June 6, 1794) it is declared that there is nothing criminal in the promiscuous commerce of the sexes, and therefore nothing that derogates from the female character, when woman forgets that she is the depositary of all domestic satisfaction, that her honor is the sacred bond of social life—that on her modesty and delicacy depend all the respect and confidence that will make a man attach himself to society, free her from labour, share with her the fruits of all his own exertions, and work with willingness and delight that she may appear on all occasions his equal, and the ornament of all his acquisitions. In the very argument, which this selected body of senators has given for the propriety of this decree, it has degraded women below all estimation. “It is to prevent her from murdering the fruit of unlawful love, by removing her shame, and by relieving her from the fear of want.” The senators say, “the Republic wants citizens, and therefore must not only remove this temptation of shame, but must take care of the mother while she nurses the child. It is the property of the nation and must not be lost.” The woman all the while is considered only as the SHE ANIMAL, the breeder of Sans cullottes. This is the just morality of Illumination.”

Robison's Proofs, p. 374–5.

These degrading ideas of the female sex are precisely the same, which were taught in the German Lodges, and furnish proof of the connection between Illuminism, and the causes which excited the French Revolution.

“The man who is above the law, can commit without remorse the dishonest act, which serves his purpose.”

Helvetius

“Modesty is only the invention of refined voluptuousness,” .... Helvetius. The French women have, however, pretty well divested themselves of this appendage. Madam Talben, accompanied by other beautiful women, laying aside all modesty, came into the public theatre, presented themselves to public view, with bared limbs a la sauvage as the alluring objects of desire.

Robison's Proofs, p. 197.

The object of the Illuminati, as appears from Barruel and Robison, was not only anti-christian, and anti-monarchial, but anti-social. They wished to annihilate every thing which went to strengthen the bands of society, and reduce man to a state of nature. The candidate for the degree of epopt, or priest, was informed by his superior, that “These secret schools of philosophy, shall one day retrieve the fall of human nature, and princes and nations shall disappear from the face of the earth; and that without violence. Reason shall be the only book of law; the sole code of man.”

“A candidate for reception into one of the highest orders, after having heard many threatenings denounced against all who should betray the secrets of the order, was conducted to a place where he saw the dead bodies of several who were said to have suffered for their treachery. He then saw his own brother tied hand and foot begging his mercy and intercession. He was informed that the person was about to suffer the punishment due to this offence, and that it was reserved for him (the candidate) to be the instrument of this just vengeance, and that this gave him an opportunity of manifesting that he was completely devoted to the Order. It being observed that his countenance gave signs of inward horror (the person in bonds imploring his mercy all the while) he was told that in order to spare his feelings a bandage should be put over his eyes. A dagger was then put into his right hand, and being hoodwinked, his left hand was laid on the palpitating heart of the criminal, and he was then ordered to strike. He instantly obeyed; and when the bandage was taken from his eyes he saw that it was a lamb that he had stabbed. Surely such a trial and such wanton cruelty are only fit for training conspirators.”

Robison's Proofs, p. 299.

No wonder that people trained to blood in this manner should have been guilty of the most horrid excesses. Nothing in the annals of history can equal the cruelties committed by Illuminees and Philosophists. Well might the Abbe Barruel affirm, “It was the principles of the sect that made Barnave, at the sight of heads carried on pikes, ferociously smile and exclaim, “was that blood then so pure that one might not even spill one drop of it? Yes it was those principles that made Chappellier, Mirabeau, and Gregoire, when they beheld the brigands surrounding the Palace of Versailles in sanguinary rage, thirsting after murder, and particularly after the blood of the Queen, exclaim the people must have victims. It was these principles that even smothered the affection of brother for brother when the adept Chenier, seeing his own brother delivered over to the hands of the public executioner, coolly said, If my brother be not in the true sense of the revolution, let him be sacrificed .... that eradicated the feelings of the child for his parents, when the adopt Philip brought in triumph to the club of Jacobins the head of his father and mother!! This insatiable sect calls out by the mouth of the bloody Marat for two hundred and seventy thousand heads, declaring that before long it will count only by millions. They knew well that their systems, and last mysteries of equality can only be accomplished in their full extent by depopulating the world; and by the mouth of Le Bo, it answers the inhabitants of Montauban, terrified with the want of provisions, “Fear not; France has a sufficiency for twelve millions of inhabitants. All the rest (that is the other twelve millions) must be put to death, and then there will be no scarcity of bread.”

Barruel, vol. IV. p. 271.

We are likewise told by the historians of that disastrous period that new words were invented to denote the butcheries which took place. Whole hecatombs of victims were shot en masse, and this was stiled Fusillades; hecatombs were also drowned, and this species of murder was called Noyadea.

One of their own writers, a republican, gives the following description of the cruelties practised by these adepts in iniquity.

“Under the name of a revolutionary government, all the public functions were united in the committee of public safety, where Robespierre had for a long time dominated. Then it was that this committee became dictatorial, hurried into the departments that horde of ferocious pro-consuls, whom we have seen betraying and slaughtering the people, whose servants they were, and to whom they owed their political existence; sometimes carrying with them in their murderous circuits, the guillotine, at others declaring it permanent, which was saying in other words, that the executioner was not to have a moment's rest. These monsters in mission, these Colossusses of crime, these phœnomena of cruelty, hunted men as a German baron hunts wild boars. The despotic Turk, when he makes his equal expire under the bastinado of a Pacha or by the chord of the mutes, does not say to his victim, thou art free.

“We have already said that all tyrannies resemble each other; all tyrants have, like our decemvirs, employed the arm of terror; and it is not in this point of view that the history of the epoch of our revolution is new; but what has never yet been seen, and what probably will never be seen again, is a great and enlightened people, who during six months were mutilated, decimated, shot, drowned, and guillotined by their representatives; it is the extreme ferocity of so many public functionaries butchering those from whom they received their commissions. Rome had a series of tyrants in succession, or at least at short intervals; but France had at one and the same instant a host of Caligulas. Tacitus himself would have broken his pencil with regret at not being able to paint all the crimes which sprung from the monstrous junction of the ferocious Robespierre with the sanguinary Couthon; of the barbarous Billaud with the gloomy Amar; of the tiger Collot, with the tiger Carrier; of the cut-throat Dumas with the cut-throat Coffinhall; and a thousand subalterns submissive to their orders. Mirabeau undoubtedly foresaw a part of these horrors, when he said, liberty slept only on mattrasses of dead carcases.”

“What a picture! the waves of the ocean swelled by the mangled bodies, which were secretly committed to the bosom of the Loire; blood flowing in torrents down the streets of every town; the dungeons of a hundred thousand bastiles groaning under the weight of the victims with which they were incumbered; the threshold of every door stained with gore; and as the height of insult, the word humanity engraven on every tomb, and associated to death: such was the lamentable aspect which France presented! On every frontispiece were to be seen the contradictory words of Liberty, Fraternity, or Death. Alas! the last was the only one which was realized.”

Page's French revolution, vol. II. p. 166, 7, 8.

Here we have the faint outlines of a picture of the horrors of the French revolution, drawn by a Frenchman and a democrat. This is the kind of liberty and equality which illuminated philosophers prepare for mankind.

“Infidelity is now served up in every shape that is likely to allure, surprise, or beguile the imagination; in a fable, a tale, a novel, a poem, in interspersed and broken hints; remote and oblique surmises; in books of travels; of philosophy; of natural history; in a word, in any form rather than that of a professed and regular disquisition.”

Paley.

I do not pretend to affirm that the French revolution was altogether the immediate and direct effect of the operations of the Illuminati. But I believe that the principles inculcated in the lodges of these terrene infernals, and which were circulated by them, and by those who were connected with them, paved the way to those enormities, which rendered the French revolution by far the most bloody recorded in history. These were no doubt many who without ever perceiving it themselves were under the influence of principles taught in these lodges. There was a great difference between the systematical ferocity of the leaders in the French revolution, and the desultory efforts of the common Jack Cades and Wat Tylers of rebellion. Many of them had thoroughly reasoned themselves into a belief that their massacres were laudable, and would eventually redound to their own honor and the great good of the human species.

The following anecdote will, I think, corroborate my assertion.

“To give an idea of the temper of the people at Paris, it is proper to remark, that at the same instant when the multitude with bloody fury were massacring the menial servants in the palace, (on the memorable 10th of August 1792) and could scarcely be restrained from offering violence to the Swiss who were made prisoners, they would suffer no acts of pillage to go unpunished. Several attempts of this kind were accordingly followed by the instant death of the criminals. The plate, the jewels, and money found in the Thuilleries were brought to the national assembly, and thrown down in the hall. One man, whose dress and appearance bespoke extreme poverty, cast upon the table an hat full of gold. ... But the minds of these men were elevated by enthusiasm; and they considered themselves as at this moment the champions of freedom, and objects of terror to the kings of the earth.”

The following extract from an address to the French people by the adepts Drouet, Babieuf, and Longelat, exhibits a correct specimen of jacobin equality.

We are all equal. ... That principle is incontestable .... very well! We mean in future to live and die as we are born. We will have real equality or death. ... That is what we want, and we will have that real equality, cost what it will. Woe be to those whom we shall meet between it and us! Woe to the man who shall dare oppose so positive a determination! The French revolution is but the forerunner of a revolution greater by far and much more solemn; and which will be the last.

“What do we ask more than the equality of rights? Why, we will not only have that equality transcribed in the declaration of the rights of man, and of the citizen; we will have it in the midst of us, under the roofs of our houses. We consent to every thing for the acquisition of it, even to clear decks, that we may possess it alone; perish the acts, if requisite, provided we do but preserve a real equality!

“Legislators and governors, proprietors, rich and bowelless, in vain do you attempt to paralyze our sacred enterprize, by saying we are only re-producing the Agrarian law that has been so often asked for before.

“Calumniators! hold your peace in your turn, and in the silence of confusion hearken to our pretensions dictated by nature and grounded on justice.

“The Agrarian law, or equal partition of lands, was the momentary wish of a few soldiers without principles, of a few clans, actuated rather by instinct than by reason. We aim at something more sublime, far more equitable, GOODS IN COMMON, or THE COMMUNITY OF ESTATES! No more individual properties in land, for the earth belongs to nobody. We demand and will enjoy the goods of the earth in common. The fruits belong to all. Disappear now, ye disgusting distinctions of rich and poor, of higher and lower, of master and servant, of GOVERNING AND GOVERNED! for no other distinctions shall exist among mankind than those of age and sex.”

Were it not true that our American jacobins are very great admirers of this disorganizing philosophist, I would not waste a syllable on his productions. His Political Justice is held in utter abhorrence by all men of sense and erudition on either side of the Atlantic. But as it is unfortunately the case that some men, who are neither men of sense nor erudition, are very aspiring characters, the said William Godwin is toasted in democratic clubs, and many of the men now in power, shape their conduct according to the models of this principal pedlar of French manufactured morality.

I would premise, however, that I shall not attempt to trace the sorry sophist through all his labyrinths of “desolating nonsense.” A concise sketch of some of the most prominent fallacies which we have observed in his Political Justice, must suffice.

He commences his theory of political justice, with a description of the “evils existing in political society,” then attempts to prove that these “evils are to be ascribed to public institutions,” and next proposes to inform us, how such evils are to be removed!

Under the head of evils existing in society, we are presented with much common place declamation, about fraud, robbery, wars, &c. To these succeed several arid chapters, relative to innate principles, antenatal impressions, instincts, &c. all of which is either very trite, or very nonsensical. We are next informed that our voluntary actions are invariably the result of reason. That passion and appetite cannot counteract its mandates .... that “truth is omnipotent” .... that when a rational being knows what is right, he will invariably act according to his knowledge.

Hence, we have nothing further to do in performing the process of perfecting man, than merely to illuminate him with some of philosopher Godwin's lucid displays of truth, as exhibited for instance, in his Political Justice, and he will be so perfect, that the now “necessary evil” of government may be annihilated.

Here, however, some slight difficulties in our progress to perfection intervene. But these cannot long retard Philosopher Godwin. He acknowledges that there are some soils in which the plant, perfectibility, will not flourish. The influences of luxury, of climate, &c. oppose something like obstacles. But these vanish before plenipotent philosopher Godwin. “For,” quoth he, “if truth, when properly displayed be omnipotent, then neither climate nor luxury are invincible obstacles.” No, our philosopher is not to be put down by trifles. He will contrive “moral causes,” to overpower all physical impediments. The shrivelled Eskimaux, or the parched African, are alike capable of perfection, and of consequence, of dispensing with the formality of government.

We are next presented with a curious chapter on “Justice.” In this we are informed that the “distribution of justice should be measured by the capacity of its subject.” That is, that in measuring such justice, we are not to consult the claims of the persons to whom it is due, but the good of the mass of mankind, abstractedly considered. Whence it follows, that if I owe a sum of money to A. but B. to whom I am not indebted, would, in my opinion, make a better use of that money than A. I am bound, in justice, to pay it to the former. It seems to be the object of this singular being, to consider justice as a sort of abstract quality, an undefinable something, due to the “system of nature,” and to be distributed where it will contribute most to the mass of enjoyment now existing, or which may hereafter exist in the universe.

Hence it appears that Mr. Godwin's Justice is not unlike Dr. Darwin's “universal philanthropy,” which is consoled for the loss of thousands of human beings, by the reflection that the matter of which they were organized, might be profitably employed in the manufacture of myriads of insects, the sum of whose happiness might be equal to that of the slaughtered armies, to whose destruction these flying and creeping things owed their existence. Phytologia.

But to return to Mr. Godwin. In proving all these fine things, however, our wonderfully profound philosopher, as might be expected, not unfrequently contradicts himself. Truth is sometimes represented as “Omnipotent,” and sometimes as totally imbecile, although by its agency all his perfection is to be brought about. For we are informed, that “Self deception is of all things the most easy. Whoever ardently wishes to find a proposition true, may be expected insensibly to veer towards the opinion that suits his inclination. It cannot be wondered at, by him who considers the subtilty of the human mind, that belief should scarcely ever rest upon the mere basis of evidence, and that arguments are always viewed through a delusive medium, magnifying them into Alps, or diminishing them to nothing.”

We are afterwards told of conscientious assassins and persecutors, who are to be governed by this “Omnipotent Truth,” but how all this will be brought about, no body but a philosophist can determine.

Mr. Godwin now proceeds to explode rights, and unshackle his unlimited morality, till at length we are presented with a new set of “Principles of Government,” in which “Omnipotent Truth,” sanctioned by justice without coercion, is to regulate society according to a new order of things, and introduce a political millenium. When this happy era commences, every man in every action, will consult at once his own happiness, the happiness of his neighbours, of the world of mankind, and the present and future good of the universe. Here our modern philosopher is placed in a situation a million times as puzzling as that of the schoolman's ass between two equally attractive stacks of hay; for if he moves but his little finger in any way not conducive to the introduction of universal felicity, the whole of Mr. Godwin's fine fabric is annihilated.

The next thing worthy of notice in the course of this gentleman's destructive career, is an attack upon the Obligation of Promises. In this he would have a philosopher be the opposite to the just man, described by Dr. Watts, who,

“Though to his own hurt he swears,
Still he performs his word,”

And because it is lawful to take, in some cases, what is not our own, to satisfy hunger, he argues thus:

“The adherence to promises, therefore, as well as their employment, in the first instance, must be decided by the general criterion, and maintained only so far as upon a comprehensive view it shall be found productive of a balance of happiness.”

Here it is to be observed, that the promissor is to be the judge, in his own case, how far the observance of his promise may be “Productive of a balance of happiness.” And with regard to the facility with which an honest man, making a promise, may deceive himself respecting this “balance of happiness,” we would refer our reader to the passage already quoted from book II. chap. iv. p. 133.

Our scheming politician is not contented with having made an end of promises, but in his second volume, Oaths of Office, are declared not only useless, but execrable. But I fear I shall trespass on the patience of my reader, by pursuing this visionary writer through the mazes of his “vain philosophy.” I shall therefore take leave of Mr. Godwin, with a quotation or two; and, 1st, from his own book, exemplifying the means by which Mr. Godwin would be willing to obtain his perfection; and, 2ndly, from the “Pursuits of Literature,” expressing the apprehensions which that great writer, in common with all men of science and reflection, have felt from the effects of such poisonous principles.

“Perhaps no important revolution was ever bloodless. It may be useful in this place to recollect in what the mischief of shedding blood consists. The abuses which at present exist in all political societies, are so enormous, the oppressions which are exercised so intolerable, the ignorance and vice they entail so dreadful, that possibly a dispassionate enquirer might decide, that, if their annihilation could be purchased by an instant sweeping of every human being now arrived at years of maturity, from the face of the earth, the purchase would not be too dear. It is not because human life is of so considerable value, that we ought to recoil from the shedding of blood. Death is in itself among the slightest of human evils. An earthquake, which should swallow up a hundred thousand individuals at once, would chiefly be to be regretted for the anguish it entailed upon survivors; in a fair estimate of those it had destroyed, it would often be comparatively a trivial event.”

In this sentence we have Illuminism completely unmasked. This was the principle, which actuated the blood-thirsty tygers of the French revolution.

I cannot better conclude my remarks on this work, than by quoting from the Pursuits of Literature, a passage, which evinces the apprehensions which the author of that poem entertained from the prevalence of these and similar tenets of modern philosophy.

“My conviction and my fears on this most awful subject (while it may yet avail us to consider) sometimes overpower me, till I absolutely sink under them.”

I have heard it asserted that Godwin has retracted some of the tenets advanced in this horrid production. But the recantation, if such exists, has not been made sufficiently public to serve as an antidote to the poison contained in the principles, and our American democrats still pretend to admire the destructive sophisms with which that work abounds.

Book II. chap. iv. p. 133.

Book II. chap. v.

Book II. chap. iii.

There is a society established in New-York, called the St. Tammany Society, who personate the aboriginal savages very successfully in our opinion.

Among the sovereigns who were wheedled into the plans of the conspirators, were Joseph II. Emperor of Germany, Catherine II. Empress of Russia, Christiern VII. King of Denmark, Gustavus III. King of Sweden, and Poniatowski, King of Poland, together with princes and princesses too numerous in this place to mention.

Among the many astonishing instances of the wilful, or stupid blindness of the party, who arrogate to themselves the appellation of republicans, may be included their persevering eulogies of Bonaparte, long after the mask of republicanism was thrown off by that usurper. Notwithstanding well authenticated accounts were received in America, of the infernal means by which he was accomplishing the end of enslaving that country, still he remained the subject of democratic demi-adoration. But our limits will not allow us, in this place, to give a full length portrait of the republican Emperor of the Gauls. A few sentences from an English publication, the conductors of which, we know, will not give currency to a falsehood, shall suffice.

“Trace this man of blood, from his first entrance on his revolutionary career, to the present moment, (July, 1803.) Behold him, after contributing to the murder of that sovereign, to whose liberality he had been indebted for his education and support, acting a conspicuous part with his friend, the late minister of police, Fouché, as an agent of the National Convention at Toulon, where, after its evacuation by the English, he superintended the massacre of the loyalists; then follow him to Paris, see him placed by Barras, at the head of the conventional army, and murdering seven thousand of the citizens of the metropolis, for daring to exercise a constitutional right, by the election of their own representatives; next observe him, accepting as a reward for this sanguinary act, from the contemplation of which every honest mind revolts with horror, the hand of the mistress of Barras, with the command of a banditti, destined to overrun the fertile plains of Lombardy; view him in his destructive progress, dealing death and desolation around, and involving, in one mass of complicated ruin, the prince and the peasant, the young and the old, the woman and the child; mark his conduct during his progress at the village of Tenasco, where one of his soldiery, instigated by brutal lust, (in the unrestrained gratification of which his troops were, and still are, SYSTEMATICALLY indulged) entered the cottage of a peasant, and attempted to violate his daughter, scarcely arrived to years of maturity, the resentment of which by the father, produced a scuffle, which ended in the death of the military ruffian ..... see Bonaparte, whose head-quarters were near by, revenge this deed of justice, by ordering the whole village of Tenasco to be reduced to ashes, and its innocent, unprotected inhabitants, to be put to death without distinction of age or sex, an order, which was instantaneously and most mercilessly obeyed ..... pursue this monster in human shape to the shores of Egypt; there hear him publicly renounce his Redeemer, reject the proffered salvation of his God, order the wanton massacre of thousands of the helpless people of Alexandria, merely to strike terror into their countrymen ..... then trace him to Jaffa, to the cold-blooded murder of 3,800 captured Turks; follow him in his disgraceful retreat, when driven by British valour from the walls of Acre, and observe him calmly directing the poisoned bowl to be administered to five hundred and eighty of his sick soldiers,” &c.

Hence we see a short sketch of the character of the man, whom our democrats have ever idolized; and to similar scenes would unrestrained democracy lead, in this or any other country. It is in vain for the favourers of Frenchmen and French measures, in this country, to deny the existence of the facts here disclosed. They have been repeatedly published, both in England and America, and never contradicted by the friends and admirers of the genuine-republican, who is now king of the Gauls.

Since writing the above I have perused a tract entitled Bonaparte and the French people, written with considerable ability by a German, resident in France. This work contains many proofs of the despicable despotism to which the French nation is now reduced under the domineration of the Corsican usurper. Splendor without magnificence, luxury without taste, caprice, suspicion and cruelty beyond example, characterize the court of the mimic emperor. A contemporary writer, says the author has well observed: “Thus every thing has returned, after an unfortunate round-about way, to the very point from which it set out; yet with this difference, that in former times an opposition of the independent states and bodies, might be shewn to the royal pleasure.”

Mr. Pitt in early life was somewhat led astray, as young men most frequently are, by the illusory phantoms of democratic liberty and equality. Time and experience, however, corrected his error, and perhaps it was owing chiefly to his exertions, that the revolutionary phrenzy did not take effect in England, and lead to enormities, similar to those, which in France, surpassed every thing heretofore recorded in history.

Such is the slang of the faction from felon Burroughs to philosopher ------ The former of these democrats, who appears as highly to appreciate, and as fully to understand the true principles of freedom as the latter, speaking of the cruelty of establishing jails in a free country, says: “How is this, says I to myself, that a country, which has stood foremost in asserting the cause of liberty, that those who have tasted in some measure, the bitter cup of slavery, should, so soon after obtaining that blessing themselves, deprive others of it? p. 126. Again, speaking of another democratic gentleman, imprisoned for theft, he informs us that, “This man, by mistake having taken some cattle not his own, and appropriated them to his own use, some people were so impolite as to charge him with theft.” p. 130. Assisting another to break jail, he observes, “Truly, said I, this conduct has been guided by the principles of philosophy,” p. 131. When confined at the castle in Boston harbour, he resolved to rise on the garrison, and blow up the magazine, he remarks, “Such were the outlines of my plan; I determined to make one powerful effort to carry it into execution; either to lose my life in the cause of liberty, or else gain a glorious freedom.”

Here is genuine republicanism of the true Aurora stamp. Duane himself could go but little farther in the theory and practice of his wild-Irish sort of liberty.

The “lamentable comedy,” acting on the political theatre of Pennsylvania, although at present it seems replete with “marvellous pleasant mirth,” will, it is to be feared, terminate with a most tragical catastrophe. Were it otherwise, it would be not a little amusing to be a looker on the struggle between the Duanites and the Dallasites, alias the “genuine republicans,” and the tertium quids. These things would be comical enough, were it not that the foundations of society are thereby shaken to their centre, and were it not probable that this earthquake of faction will ingulph our blood-bought liberties, and inhume every thing which can render society of any value.


87

CANTO III.

Mobocracy.

ARGUMENT.

I sing French freedom wafted o'er
From frantic Gallia's blood-stain'd shore,
And how th'accursed wild-fire found
Asylum” in Columbian ground;
How honest yeomen, bold and rough,
For lack of liberty enough,
Seduc'd by bold, ambitious bad men,
Behav'd, I'm loth to say, like mad men;
And form'd democracy's inflections,
In Shays and whiskey-insurrections....
With other matters you'll discover,
Good reader, when you'ver read them over.
When democrats, from public papers,
Learn'd how the French were cutting capers,
They lost the little wits they had,
And were, poor things, completely mad;
Good reader, though it may embarrass one,
We'll conjure up some bright comparison,
Somewhat to liken to the revels
Of democratic demi-devils:

88

Such as were held in celebration
Of crimes of our good sister nation.
To gratulate vile sans cullottes
On cutting one anothers throats.
Pray, Sir, dids't ever stop and stare
At showman with a dancing bear,
Whipping dull bruin round a stake, or
Dids't ever see a shaking quaker?
Or New lights dancing pious jigs,
Spinning like tops, their dismal rigs,
On one heel whirling, spirit-driven,
A precious way to go to heaven?
Dids't ever hear a story which is
Most horrible! about the witches!
Bedevil'd! (so they say) in Salem,
And what the devil else could ail 'em?

89

Dids't ever hear of heathen gods,
Who, drunk with nectar, fell at odds,
Broke a crown's worth of good glass bottles,
And would have cut each others throttles,
Had not the good old blacksmith Vulcan
Appeas'd the riot with a full can,
Made them shake hands both whig and tory
As Gaffer Homer tells the story?
Hast read in Ovid's Metamorphoses
What a most sorry scrape was Orpheus's

90

When tipsey hags, with other matters
Tore the old fiddler all to tatters?
Dost know how Hercules once behav'd,
Ranted and rended, roar'd and rav'd,
What time his wife, a jealous flirt,
Sent him her sweet-heart's brimstone shirt?

91

What riot erst had been in hell
About the time that Adam fell,
If democrats, (so Milton makes
It plain) had not been turn'd to snakes?

92

Dids't ever know on fourth of July
With many a “d---n your eyes!” and “you lie!”
Vile Irishmen, in bloody fray
Honor our Independence day?

93

All these thou knows't, but not a scrape
Among them all, in any shape,
Could equal ox-head celebration
In honor of the frantic nation.

94

Now demos gave their feelings vent
In all parts of the continent,

95

And were as “brisk as bottled ale”
Or dog with shingle tied to's tail.
But time would fail to set forth now how
Full many a democratic pow wow,
Was held in bawling exultation
For crimes of our dear sister nation.
Nothing would suit the rogues beside
Your madcap freedom Frenchified,

96

Of which they vow'd t' import a cargo,
Though Washington had laid embargo.
And though 'twas shrewdly urg'd by some
That we had liberty at home,
Which like our Chief's religious stuff,
If not the best was “good enough,”
Still demo's swore to have the frantic
Kind manufactur'd o'er the Atlantic,
Such as our secretary well knows
Suits whiskey-insurrection fellows.
Thus nothing pleases bon ton ladies,
Which is their native country made is

97

But let a thing be e'er so frightful,
Dear bought and far fetch'd, 'tis delightful.
Next we were punish'd for our sins
With clubs of crazy jacobins,
Who, with pure freedom to content us,
Themselves appoint to represent us.
Now certain causes most untoward
Prepar'd the people to be froward,

98

Form'd many plausible excuses
For mobocratical abuses.
But should I make in metre gingle
Those causes operant all and single,
Which rais'd 'gainst government a few setts
Of Pittsburgh rogues, and Massachusetts.
The reader might compare with mine
Old Blackmoore's everlasting line,
I'll therefore hint and glance along
Nor call a muse to aid my song.
But I'll purloin a little .... why not?
From classic history of Minot,
For theft can need no other plea
Than this, Our government is free!
Our demo's steal each others trash,
While Coleman plies in vain the lash,

99

And prithee, therefore, why can I not
Steal my Mobocracy from Minot?
Fas est ab hoste et doceri,
If that be true why then 'tis clear I. ...
But gentle, reader, have you read it!
“Yes” .... then I'll give my author credit.

100

And then proceed in rhyme and prosing,
Nor mind if you're awake or dosing,

101

In simple, homespun, manner shewing
What set Mobocracy a going.
When our wig champions fain would hit on
Successful modes for thwarting Britain,
Our leaders thought that they were right in
Whatever kindled ire for fighting.
To paint the ills, which power attend
Our men of mind their talents lend,
But overlook the great propriety
Of power to guaranty society.

102

Hence, brave men who our battles fought,
Did not distinguish as they ought
The odds existing in a high sense
'Twixt Liberty and boundless license.
And when they found our chiefs intent
On building up a government,
And that one of its consequences
Would be some national expenses.

103

Our honest clever country folks:
Did not well relish such dry jokes,
But many a moody murmur mutter'd,
And words to this effect were utter'd:
“We thought that when the war was over
“Americans would live in clover,
“That nothing then would vex and harass us,
“No debts nor taxes to embarrass us.
“We've fought a long and bloody war,
“But what have we been fighting for,
“If king George thrown off, we are loading
“Our backs with weight of one king Bowdoin.
“What, shall we sell our hoes and axes,
“For paying arbitrary taxes?
“No .... and for rulers, we don't need 'em
“In this good land of perfect freedom.
“With all our toil, and all our blood,
“One tyrant makes another good,
“Our boasted freedom is a sham,
“Not worth a single whisky dram.
Such sentiments had long been brewing,
And boded nothing less than ruin

104

To our still weak confederation,
Too novel for consolidation.
Thus stiff-neck'd Israelites of old
Were froward, insolent and bold,
With other jacobin procedures
Full oft rebell'd against their leaders.
Now fann'd by Gallatins and Shayses,
The fire of civil discord blazes,
And breaks out in a vile rebellion,
Yea, two or three, which I might tell ye on.
But scampering off from Petersham
Without their wonted morning dram,
Their courage cool'd .... the rogues surrender'd,
On easy terms, in mercy tender'd.
Though rebels, under Shays and Gallatin,
Received from government a malleting,
And social harmony seem'd ratified,
Too many still remained dissatisfied.
The smouldering flame in secret burn'd,
When Jefferson from France return'd,

105

To aid the Factions' frantic schemes,
With fresh illuminated dreams.

106

In Weishaupt's school his lesson learn'd
He with pernicious ardour burn'd,

107

To introduce his whimsicalities,
And make them in our land realities.

108

Nature ne'er made a fitter man
To give effect to such a plan,

109

Nor do I think, with ten years pother,
That she could hit out such another.

110

Phlegmatic, cunning, and wrong headed
To visionary tenets wedded,

111

A writer, plausible, sophistical,
Never profound, but always mystical.

112

Possess'd of that mysterious air,
Which makes the gaping vulgar stare,
And gives the weakest men dominion,
Founded on popular opinion.
His native cunning to enhance,
He adds the dark finesse of France,
Reduc'd to system, by the rules
Of jacobin-illumin'd schools.
Supported by the factious heads
Of ever restless anti-feds,
Rogues to true liberty a pest,
Who make her seat an hornet's nest.

113

He begs the boon with vast humility
To introduce perfectibility.
For man, he's sure, unless we manage ill,
Will rise one link above the angel.
(This quack perfection still we find
Among the vilest of mankind
A favorite doctrine, sure the elves
Can't judge of others by themselves.)
And now the wicked faction join'd
To tamper with the public mind,
Of liberty kept such a bawling
It seem'd the rogues would take us all in.
But honest people soon behold
That all which glitters is not gold,
Discern in sticklers of mobocracy
A deal of scandalous hypocrisy.
That were not justice in arrears
These New school folks would lack their ears,

114

Of course don't much admire their plan
For perfecting the creature man.
Our demos then with great propriety,
Are hooted at throughout society,
And many a rascally curmudgeon,
Is nicely bang'd with satire's bludgeon;
Yes, many a chief whom now they boast,
Was tied to satire's whipping-post,

115

Their foremost partizans now dashing,
Had their deserts in many a lashing.
The fed-wits serv'd the scoundrel fry as
Of old Apollo serv'd Marsyas,
What time his Godship did contrive
To skin the whistling chap alive.
But still determin'd not to yield,
Though trodden down, they kept the field.

116

Display'd of feeling less the powers
Than rogues, who have been hung for hours.
When haply hit off to a tittle,
At first it nettled them a little,
But careless apathy now boasting,
They quietly submit to roasting.
Thus Jack Ketch, having noos'd a paddy,
(“Perhaps, O Sylph!” .... 'twas Duanes daddy!)

117

Who made more growling than was fit,
And did not love to swing one bit; ....
A fellow sufferer by his side
A crum of comfort thus applied,
“Your blubbering, Pat, has no excuse to't,
“You know, you Irish dogs are us'd to't!”
Nothing did demos any good
But syllogisms made of wood,

118

But these applied with proper force,
Confounded jacobins of course.
They found the basis of their grandeur,
Must be deceit, and lies, and slander,
The only possible foundation
Of democratic reputation.
Their crafty chief, with other fetches,
Hires a vile gang of foreign wretches,

119

To lie down every man of merit,
Of honesty and public spirit.
His sovereign friends the mob caresses
From twenty different hireling presses,
Who spread vile lies, with vast sedulity,
T' impose on honest men's credulity.

120

Gives foreigners our loaves and fishes
To bend our counsels to his wishes,

121

And guillotine the reputation
Of every good man in the nation.
Fellows, who sped away betimes
To seek “asylum” from their crimes,
In annals of Old Bailey noted,
Are in “Freedonia” promoted.

122

Vile renegades of every nation
Are sure to gain an elevation,
But honesty and reputation
Are passports to a private station.
These wretches now announce hostility
To talents, virtue and civility

123

Direct their vandalizing ravages
To make men like themselves, mere savages.
By creeping cunning overbalance
The weight of wisdom, and of talents,
Like Absalom, with wicked arts,
Contrive to steal the people's hearts.
The leading demos have their tools,
A mongrel set, 'twixt knaves and fools,

124

But I've not patience to examine a
Crew that's so destitute of stamina.
These, by arch demagogues are led on,
And futile promises are fed on,
Enjoying, by anticipation
Some post of profit in the nation.

125

And now to make the people jealous,
The scoundrels undertake to tell us,
They are themselves the chosen band,
“Exclusive patriots” of the land.
Thus, when a swindler means to cheat you,
With vast civility he'll treat you,
In all his intercourse pretends
To be your very best of friends.
Such friendship Joab erst employ'd,
When his friend Abner he decoy'd,
And Judas such a friend as this,
Betray'd his master with a kiss.
Now these Pat-Ryots join as one
To thwart the plans of Washington,
And puff th' immaculate Thomas Jefferson
As Freedom's only great and clever son.

126

Yes .... Washington our pride and glory,
Vile demos dubb'd a British tory,
And Duane undertook to blast him,
And prove no Nero e'er surpass'd him!
With bug-bear phantoms to alarm us
They conjure up huge standing armies,
With which, and Washington to lead 'em,
The feds would bayonet our freedom.

127

Adams they styl'd a hoary traitor,
Pickering a public defalcator,

128

And that with other mischief done, he
Had stolen all our public money.

129

We might proceed through reams on reams
To set forth democratic schemes,

130

Their midnight caucusses declare,
To shew what precious rogues they are.

131

Our pithy poem might enamel
By telling how they brib'd one Campbell,
(Which tale, O Gallatin, would pleasure ye)
To steal the books from public Treasury.
How Duane, Gallatin, and Smilie,
And other rogues in Co. went slily,
And drudg'd all night to ruin Pickering
And furnish documents for bickering.
But since our poem is a peg,
On which to hang our notes, we beg,
This midnight matter to disclose
Without a trope, in simple prose.

132

Although in any foreign land,
Such folks as these are hung off hand,

133

Yet we, a free and happy nation,
Reward the rogues with public station.

134

Now Hamilton is represented
As having wicked schemes invented,

135

By dint of which, with sudden start he
Would make himself a Buonaparte.

136

Not even the shelter of the grave
From democratic spite could save
This man, most worthy admiration,
An honor to his age and nation.

137

The blustering old dominion frets
Because she has to pay her debts,

138

Her Nabobs join in grand committee,
To “kick to hell the British treaty.”

139

The funding system, tax on land,
Were first propos'd by Giles's band,

140

Who swore that duties rais'd from commerce
But slily filch'd our money from us.

141

The funds created, taxes laid,
The measures by the imps are made

142

A handle, plausible no doubt,
To turn the Washingtonians out.

143

And now the lying varlets tell us
Wolcott and Dexter were such fellows,

144

To carry peculation's farce on
They'd crown'd their robberies with arson.

145

Now swells each jacobinic throat
With dreadful, boding, screech-owl note,

146

And democrats are choak'd with sobbings,
Because the British hung one Robbins.

147

To hang a murderer and a pirate
Was tyranizing at a high rate,

148

Alarm'd the gallows-dreading clan,
In love with Tom Pain's “Rights of Man.”

149

Poor Carleton was most sadly frighted,
Felt all his sympathies excited. ...

150

Was very properly perplext
Lest his own turn might be the next.
In grade of crimes but one step higher
Had brought the vile recorded liar,

151

(Were justice done in such a case)
To Robbins, alias Nash's place.
Thus theives are rarely known to toast
Their enemy the whipping post,
And felons commonly exhibit
No little spleen against a gibbet.
Hence, in these democratic times,
This hanging people for their crimes
Is thought a most obnoxious thing,
By those who know they ought to swing.
Now common decency defying,
They ply their dirty trade of lying,
Hold out such falsehoods, in terrorem,
That no good man can stand before 'em.
And many a patriot's forc'd to doff his
Old fashion'd honesty for office,
Become a supple, and time serving
Rascal, to keep himself from starving.
Each lie they tell, though ne'er so horrid a
Vile gang repeats from Maine to Florida,
And when found out and people hiss it
In sneaking silence they dismiss it.

152

No cur can wag his tail or yelp
But what puts in his mickle help,
For every puppy in the pack
Is taught his proper scent and track.
In short they lied, through thick and thin,
Till Jefferson at last came in,
And made fair promises in plenty,
Provided he'd kept one in twenty.
Yes .... we were raptur'd when he said
We're all republicans and fed-
Ral, fellow countrymen, Americans,
And hop'd we'd done with Factions hurricanes.
With such professions all were suited
But soon his conduct all refuted,
What time his highness made a shift
To send our staunchest men adrift.
The veteran chiefs of seventy-six,
If by sad chance their politicks
Displeas'd the Carter Mountain hero,
He persecuted like a Nero;

153

Humphrey and Putman, Fish, and others,
Whom Washington esteem'd as brothers,
Displac'd to please the vilest set
That ever plagu'd a nation yet.

154

But as I had from natal hour
Respect for great men, while in power,
I mean right merrily to chaunt o-
Ver his praise in my next canto.

155

Good reader these are merely sketches
Of democratic feats and fetches,
Their tricks, to which no honest man
Has ever stoop'd nor ever can.

156

Thus Weishaupt erst had made no pother
His brat to poison, and its mother,
Lest crimes reveal'd should cause a schism
With founders of Illuminism.
'Twould cost whole Mexic gulphs of rhyme,
(To deal in Crusca's true sublime,)
Their deeds of darkness to display
And drag these Cacusses to day.

157

Although, as has before been seen,
The federal hands were ever clean,
Our public money has its charms
To tickle democratic palms.
Good democrats can't live on brouse and
Take therefore now and then a thousand
Of public cash, and make amends
By being “We the People's” friends.
A hundred thousand, it is said
Was pocketed by dashing Ned,

158

And patriot Randolph had before
With fifty thousand run a shore.
Had these been Federal men no doubt
There'd been a most confounded rout,
Th' Aurora fraught with Duane's thunder
Had quick aveng'd such “PUBLIC PLUNDER.”

159

But every democrat intends
To use some freedom with his friends,
And if contented with their purse
Let them be thankful 'tis no worse.
But still it seems there's something hard in't,
When federal men, with zeal most ardent,
Have serv'd their country, every gander
Should hiss, and spatter them with slander.
Behold the play wright Barney Bidwell,
(And democrats declare he hid well)

160

Has twisted into one oration,
Falsehoods enough to d---n a nation.
But this man lies to such degree I
(Forc'd, ex necessitate rei,)
With due civility, will strip him,
Then take and tie him up, and whip him.
And I will teach this Mr. Barney
To cheat the people with his blarney,
And I will teach him to be plying
The dirty trade of party-lying.
And first he tells us, our Great Nation
Was born slap dash, by Declaration

161

Of Independence, in the day time,
Most vile economy!—in hay time!
What next evinces that his knowledge is
Enough to enter some new Colleges,

162

We find him most precisely showing
How long the late war was a going.
He tells us even to a minute
What time the British did begin it;
And likewise, what some don't remember,
We made a peace once, in November.
After this flight, which most immense is,
Before you find your scatter'd senses,
Behold our orator still rising,
To matter more and more surprising.
For that in his sublime opinion,
George Washington was a Virginian!

163

Which, since 'tis down in black and white,
“I'll bet a beaver hat” he's right.
One thing, by accident he miss'd
To state he was a federalist,
Possess'd antipathy, most hearty
To Barney Bidwell's precious party.

164

Then full of patriotic choler,
He yells out syllables of dolour
Against your British rogues, who would
Have hung our best whigs—if they could.
But carefully forgets to say
How Jefferson had run away;

165

How many more, in whom he glories
Had sav'd their necks by being tories.
He next proceeds like ignoramus,
Or artful rogue as you could name us,
To state the motives and intendments,
In constitutional amendments.

166

Through labyrinths of nonsense trudges,
To fib about the federal judges,

167

Proceeds, adroitly to abridge
The subtle speech of Breckenridge.

168

Then prates about each federal tax,
And dealing out his thumps and thwacks,
Hits Madison, a clever joke,
Right o'er the sconce, a knock down stroke!

169

The stamp act rails at, as a horrid
Thing with the beast's mark in its forehead,

170

Although 'tis known to all but asses,
It did not touch the lower classes.

171

Then heaps upon the honest heads
Of independent upright Feds,

172

Whatever measure could be found,
With something dreadful in its sound.

173

At length winds up with such a series
Of wicked and deceptive queries,

174

That all must own this son of slander
Well fitted for his party's pander.
Honestus joins in dismal tone,
And howls about a dreadful loan,
In which the Fed'ral Government
Gave no less sum than eight per cent.

175

Though well the said Honestus knows
From what necessity it rose,
And had foundation, in reality,
From his dear party's own rascality.
He knows peculiar exigencies
Led to great national expences,
And that this loan at its creation
Received our best men's approbation.
He knows that Washington declar'd
Those great expences should be shar'd
Among such fellows as Honestus
And others like him, who infest us.

176

Yet still this creature's always carping,
The self same tune for ever harping,
And has a deal of mischief done,
As drops perpetual wear a stone.
Thus have our Fed'ral men been branded
By artful modes, and underhanded,
And slander'd in a way surpassing
The cruelty of an assassin.—
By vile imported convicts goaded,
Harrass'd, with ignominy loaded.
By imputation, oftentimes
With weight of their opponent's crimes.

177

But look at ev'ry Fed'ral measure
Which has incurr'd such high displeasure,
And there's not one which you can mention,
But pleads at least a good intention.
Have they their private interests further'd
That now their reputation's murther'd?
And have they not 'mid party-war
Made public good their polar star?
It must be own'd that their political
Career was not a little critical;
Such times our land would overwhelm.
If democrats had been at helm.
It must be own'd whate'er they've done
Was sanction'd by our Washington,

178

And be allow'd as no less true
He had no private ends in view.
Though many a rogue belonging unto
The hireling Jeffersonian junto,
Has boldly said, but saying lied,
Our Washington was on their side!—
Yet he abhorr'd them, and what worse is,
Denounc'd them as our nation's curses,
But gave his strongest approbation
To Adam's administration.
And each and all the accusations
Of Federal crimes and peculations,
Their adversaries knew full well
Were lies malicious, false as h*ll.
If such must be the modes that our
Great men must wriggle into pow'r,
Our government will prove a curse
Than that of Algiers ten times worse:—
Until a tyrant of a king,
An emperor, or some such thing,

179

And he the essence of the devil
Become a necessary evil.
 

We do not wish to be satirical in our remarks on the once famous Salem witchcrafts. Hutchinson says that “The great noise, which the New-England witchcraft made throughout the English dominions proceeded more from the general panick, with which all sorts of persons were seized, and an expectation that the contagion would spread to all parts of the country, than from the number of persons who were executed; more having been put to death in a single county in England, in a short space of time, than have suffered in all New-England.”

Hutch. His. Massachusetts, vol. II. p. 15.

But the allusion is opposite to our subject in a philosophical as well as poetical point of view. It shews how liable mankind are to be seized with mental epidemicks and to run mad in concert. The crusade mania, the witchcraft mania, but worst of all the Gallic-democratic-Tom-Pain mania have been terrible diseases, and the last mentioned in particular much more destructive in its consequences than the yellow fever or even the plague itself.

The conduct of the female Bacchantes, who demolished the Thracian band (see Ovid's Metamorphoses, Lib. xi. Fab. i.) has been far exceeded by the French Revolutionary female fiends at Paris. Mad with jacobinic fury, the beautiful, the tender sex with the most savage fury actually gnawed the amputated limbs of their wretched countrymen, whom the mob had butchered in the cause of liberty and equality. Such is the spirit of democracy. Even the fair sex without the restraints of religion and government, become more ferocious than tigers, and man the most savage animal in existence.

Dum potuit solita gemitum virtute repressit,
Victa malis postquam patientia repulit aras;
Implevitque suis nemerosum vocibus Oëten.
Ovid, Met. Lib. ix. Fab. 3.

The reception which the arch democrat met with on his return from that expedition which brought “death into the world,” and his Metempsychosis on that occasion are thus described by the first of poets.

“So having said, a while he stood expecting
“Their universal shout, and high applause,
“To fill his ear, when contrary he hears
“On all sides from innumerable tongues,
“A dismal universal hiss, the sound
“Of public scorn; he wonder'd, but not long
“Had leisure, wondering at himself now more;
“His vissage drawn he felt to sharp and spare,
“His arms clung to his ribs, his legs intwining
“Each other till supplanted down he fell
“A monstrous serpent, on his belly prone,
“Reluctant, but in vain, a greater power
“Now rul'd him, punish'd in the shape he sinn'd,
“According to his doom: he would have spoke
“But hiss for hiss return'd with forked tongue
“To forked tongue, for now were all transform'd
“Alike to serpents, all as accessaries
“To this bold riot.

That these serpents were democrats is plain, first from the testimony of Butler, who says,

“The devil was the first of the name
From whom the race of rebels came,
Who was the first bold undertaker
Of bearing arms against his maker.”
Butler's, Misc. Thoughts.

Secondly, we have the declaration of democrats vs. democrats, to be found in a semi-weekly electioneering handbill printed in New-York, entitled “The Corrector,” in which the Burrites, good democrats, have drawn the Clintonians, likewise good democrats, as large as life and hung them up in what they very properly called “The Pandemonian Gallery.” Some however, have very plausibly maintained that, although these paintings may be correct copies of the originals who appear to have sat for their pictures, yet in comparing them to the devils of Milton, they have caricatured the latter beyond all comparison.

The 4th of July 1805, was celebrated in a “genuine republican” stile by a number of the jolly sons of St. Patrick, collected for that purpose on the Battery in New-York. These brawny democrats undertook, by pugilistical demonstration to make it evident that fresh imported Irishmen were the only real American soldiers, and “genuine” patriots of seventy-six. Those who had the hardihood to dissent from this doctrine were sure to be knocked down in a very convincing manner. These Hibernian logicians, finding however that there were two sides to the question even as they argued it, were at length obliged to yield to the more impressive reasons of their opponents assisted by the ultima ratio of the city police. On this great occasion the Declaration of Independence was with singular propriety read by an Irishman who had been lately imported.

The following account of a feté of the Boston democratic party, we extract from “Remarks on the Jacobiniad,” an extremely well written publication, which appeared in Boston at the time that Americans were running into some of the French revolutionary excesses.

“Though the adventures of the ox's head are well known in this metropolis, a short account of them may not prove unacceptable to such as have not the happiness of being our fellow citizens. We beg leave then to inform them, that on the retreat of the Duke of Brunswick, and the successes of our Gallic friends under Dumourier, a Civic Feast was given in honor of these illustrious events. The subscription was liberal; a handsome entertainment was provided for the lovers of equality, in Faneuil Hall, whilst their “Majesties the Mob,” were regaled with an ox roasted whole in the street. The supposition that more than 6000 persons of all ages, sexes and descriptions, would quietly set down and wait till they were helped, was benevolent in the extreme; but their majesties very uncivilly disappointed the expectations of their patrons; for, unrestrained by the ties of gratitude, for the money expended for their amusement, they destroyed the benches provided for their accomodation, tore the poor ox piece-meal, broke the plates, and scattered the mingled fragments of beef and earthern ware in every direction, to the destruction of the neighbouring windows, and to the great annoyance of dogs, women, children, selectmen, &c. who were inactive spectators of this very interesting scene. The head of the animal was then fixed, in grinning majesty, on the pole of Liberty, and consecrated to that goddess, amidst the thunder of a tremendous swivel. In this state it remained until the fate of the unfortunate Louis was announced, when it was seen in mourning for that melancholy event. This was conceived very dangerous to the French cause by some political fanatics, and the head was in consequence, ignominiously stripped of its “suit of solemn black.” In revenge for this insult, those who had furnished the mourning, levelled the sacred tree of Liberty to the ground, and with it fell the innocent cause of the contest. The pole was put up and down .... and up again .... to the no small amusement of all unconcerned; whilst the head, if we are rightly informed, being found, on examination of jacobinical strength and capaciousness, was converted into a punch-bowl, (the two horns serving admirably for handles) and is now used as the receptacle of grog and flip, by the Democratic Society, in this our enlightened metropolis.”

“Religion is well supported,” (to wit, in Pennsylvania and New-York) “of various kinds indeed, but all good enough.”

Notes on Virginia. p. 221. Bost. edit. 18 mo.

One among the many wonders which democracy has achieved in favour of the liberties of the people has been, to elevate to high and responsible situations, certain convicts, most generally foreigners. The part which Mr. Gallatin took in the Pittsburgh insurrection, which cost the United States a million of dollars, is well known, and it is probable that his present elevation, is a reward for his patriotic services on that occasion. But more of this gentleman hereafter.

It is impossible to imagine a greater burlesque on the idea of a representative republic than the farcical conduct of our democratic societies, who by virtue of no authority whatever, except that of their own good will and pleasure, seated themselves in the magisterial chair, assumed the appellation of “We the people,” and had the impudence to dictate and control the affairs of our national government.

And Eusden eke out Blackmoore's endless line.

We allude here to the practice of our good democratic managers of newspapers, who by virtue of what Cheetham calls, “the arts of able editors,” publish matter as original which they have stolen from some other paper. This trick has been exposed by the editor of the New-York Evening Post, whose exertions in bringing to light the scoundrelism of the faction, entitle him to the gratitude of every friend to the prosperity of his country.

The nature and operation of the causes, which led to the rebellion in Massachusetts, are explained in a lucid and masterly manner, in the history of George Richards Minot; the style of which might rank its author as the Sallust of America. According to that writer, the commonwealth of Massachusetts was in debt, upwards of 1,350,000l. private state debt, exclusive of the federal debt, which amounted to above one million and an half of the same money. And in addition to that, every town was embarrassed by advances they had made to comply with repeated requisitions for men and supplies to support the army, and which had been done upon their own particular credit. The people, he informs us, “had been laudably employed, during the nine years in which this debt had been accumulating, in the defence of their liberties; but though their contest had instructed them in the nobler science of the rights of mankind, yet it gave them no proportionable insight into the mazes of finance. Their honest prejudices were averse to duties of impost and excise, which were at that time supposed to be anti-republican, by many judicious and influential characters.

“The consequences of the public debt did not at first appear among the citizens at large. The bulk of mankind are too much engaged in private concerns, to anticipate the operation of national causes. The men of landed interest, soon began to speak plainly against trade, as the source of luxury, and the cause of losing the circulating medium,” &c.

“Commercial men, on the other hand, defended themselves by insisting that the fault was only in the regulations which the trade happened to be under,” &c.

The writer then proceeds to point out other causes which contributed to lead the people astray; and his history exhibits abundant proof, that the people at large are not always correct judges of what political measures may best subserve their own prosperity.

The jealousy of republicans against delegating power, has most generally been the cause of their destruction. No community can long subsist without authority to coerce and punish; but such authority ought to be marked by legal and well defined boundaries, and entrusted to such men only as have their characters established for integrity as well as abilities. The only method which can be devised to prevent the assumption, by unprincipled men, of that power, which is tyranny in effect, whatever may be its name or disguise, is to delegate legal power without too much jealousy or reserve, o men, who will be a “terror to evil doers.”

There is nothing in which our democratic politicians are more profoundly absurd, than in their estimates of national economy. The penny-saving maxims of Dr. Franklin, injudiciously applied to affairs of national magnitude, are of very mischievous tendency. Money paid for public purposes, which is expended among the inhabitants of a country, does not impoverish such inhabitants. It is paid by the people to the government, and by the government distributed among the people. If it be so distributed as to be a reward to merit, and give a proper tone to industry, there is little danger of being too lavish. The whole body politic becomes invigorated by its circulation; the farmer and the mechanic finding a ready sale for their commodities are stimulated to that industry which constitutes the real wealth of a nation.

We have it from good authority that Mr. Jefferson actually became initiated, while in Paris, into the mysteries of Illuminism, and his writings and conduct, since his embassy to France, display “internal evidence” of his being infected with the poison of illuminated principles. “Condorcet, likewise (a well known Illuminatus) was a particular friend of our American philosopher.” His advocates, who would maintain that he imbibed no new principles in France, which smack of Illuminism, must be under the necessity of affirming, that honesty never was the policy of a certain great man .... that he never did scruple about the means, provided the end could be obtained. His advice to Congress, respecting the transfer of the debt due to France, to a company of Hollanders, is a proof in point. In stating this, I shall have recourse to the pamphlet of Mr. Smith, referred to above.

Mr. Jefferson, says that writer, after mentioning an offer which had been made by a company of Hollanders, for the purchase of the debt, concludes with these extraordinary expressions:

“If there is a danger of the public payments not being punctual, I submit, whether it may not be better, that the discontents which would then arise, should be transferred from a court, of whose good will we have so much need, to the breasts of a private company.”

“This letter was the subject of a report from the Board of Treasury, in February, 1787. The board treated the idea of transfer, proposed, as both UNJUST and IMPOLITIC; unjust, because the nation would contract an engagement, which there was no well grounded prospect of fulfilling; impolitic, because a failure in the payment of interest on this debt transferred (which was inevitable) would justly blast all hopes of credit with the citizens of the United Netherlands, in future pressing exigencies of the union; and the Board gave it as their opinion, that it would be advisable for Congress, without delay, to instruct their minister at the court of France, to forbear giving his sanction to any such transfer.

“Congress, agreeing in the ideas of the Board caused an instruction to that effect to be sent to Mr. Jefferson. Here there was a solemn act of government, condemning the principle as unjust and impolitic.

“If the sentiment contained in the extract which has been recited, can be vindicated from political profligacy, then is it necessary to unlearn all the ancient notions of justice, and to substitute some new fashioned scheme of morality in their stead.

“Here is no complicated problem, which sophistry may entangle or obscure; here is a plain question of moral feeling. A government is encouraged on the express condition of not having a prospect of making a due provision for a debt which it owes; to concur in a transfer of that debt from a nation, well able to bear the inconveniences of a failure or delay, to the individuals, whose total ruin might have been the consequence of it; and that, upon the interested consideration of having need of the good will of the creditor nation, and with the dishonorable motive, as is cleary implied, of having more to apprehend from the discontents of that nation, than from those of disappointed and betrayed individuals? Let every honest and impartial mind, consulting its own spontaneous emotions, pronounce for itself upon the rectitude of such a suggestion.

“An effort, scarcely plausible, has been heretofore made by the partizans of Mr. Jefferson, to explain away the turpitude of this advice. It was represented, that “A company of adventuring speculators, had offered to purchase the debt at a discount, foreseeing the delay of payment, calculating the probable loss, and willing to encounter the hazard.” But the terms employed by Mr. Jefferson, refute this species of apology. His words are, “If there is a danger of the public payments not being punctual, I submit, whether it may not be better, that the discontents which would then arise, should be transferred from a court, of whose good will we have so much need, to the breasts of a private company.”

He plainly takes it for granted, the discontents would arise, from the want of an adequate provision, and proposes that they should be transferred to the breasts of individuals. This he could not have taken for granted, if, in his conception, the purchasers had calculated on delay and loss.

Here we have the full effulgence of Godwinism bursting upon us! It was an attempt to implicate the government of America, in a sale of bad securities, the venders knowing them to be such. The “transfer,” of “discontents,” which Mr, Jefferson foresaw would arise from the French court, to the poor Hollanders, to the probable ruin of the latter, is somewhat similar in kind, to the justice which the author of Hudibras attributes to the first settlers of New-England.

“Our brethren of New England use
Choice malefactors to excuse,
And hang the guiltless in their stead,
Of whom the churches have less need;
As lately 't happen'd: in a town
There liv'd a cobler, and but one,
That out of doctrine could cut use,
And mend men's lives as well as shoes,
This precious brother having slain
In time of peace an Indian,
(Not out of malice, but mere zeal,
Because he was an infidel)
The mighty Tottipottymoy,
Sent to our elders an envoy,
Complaining sorely of the breach
Of league held forth by brother Patch
Against the articles in force,
Between both churches, his and ours;
For which he crav'd the saints to render
Into his hands or hang the offender;
But they maturely having weigh'd,
They had no more but him o' th' trade,
A man that serv'd them in a double
Capacity, to teach and cobble,
Resolv'd to spare him; yet, to do
The Indian Hoghan Moghan too
Impartial justice, in his stead, did
Hang an old weaver that was bed-rid!”

See a pamphlet, written by William Smith, Esq. of South Carolina, with the signature of Phocion.

See Jefferson's attempted vindication, in Dunlap's Daily Advertiser, of October, 1792.

Mr. Jefferson's pretensions to the station he holds, have been frequently scanned by men, whose talents and opportunities have given them peculiar advantages for the investigation. The result has appeared to be somewhat unfavourable, unless for the purposes of the party now predominant, he should be thought better than a better man. But the principal traits in his character, are so well exhibited in the pamphlet of Mr. Smith, that we are tempted again to quote, from his production, the following summary of the wonderful qualifications of our chief magistrate.

“We shall now take leave of Mr. Jefferson and his pretensions, as a philosopher and politician. The candid and uprejudiced, who have read with attention the foregoing comments on his philosophical and political works, and on his public conduct, must now be convinced, however they may hitherto have been deceived by a plausible appearance and specious talents, or misled by artful partizans, that the reputation he has acquired is not bottomed on solid merit .... that his abilities have been more directed to the acquirement of literary fame, than to the substantial good of his country .... that his philosophical opinions have been capricious and wavering, often warped by the most frivolous circumstances .... that in his political conduct he has been timid inconsistent, and unsteady, generally favouring measures of a factious and disorganizing tendency, always leaning to those which would establish his popularity, however destructive of our peace and tranquility .... that his political principles are sometimes whimsical and visionary, at others, subversive of all regular and stable government .... that his writings have betrayed a disrespect for religion, and his partiality for the impious Paine, an enmity to christianity .... that his advice respecting the Dutch company, and his open countenance of an incendiary printer, and of the views of a faction, manifest a want of due regard for national faith and public credit .... that his abhorrence of one foreign nation, and enthusiastic devotion to another, have extinguished in him every germ of real national character; and, in short, that his elevation to the presidency, must eventuate either in the debasement of the American name, by a whimsical, inconsistent and feeble administration, or in the prostration of the United States at the feet of France, the subversion of our excellent constitution, and the consequent destruction of our present prosperity.”

Such is the character, who now presides in America, as drawn by a gentleman, who has held some of the most important offices in our government, and such the predictions, which we fear are beginning to be fulfilled in this country. The prostration of the Judiciary, and the sacrifice of the greater part of our navy, are alarming forerunners of the fulfilment of the prophecy.

We commenced the manufacture of this our poetical production, with a determination, which we think all candid critics will pronounce not a little laudable, to deduce, so far as convenient, our poetical and rhetorical flourishes from Cis-Atlantic sources. And here we think that our reviewers will do us the justice to acknowledge, that no poet's “eye in a fine frenzy rolling” ever glanced at a prettier comparison than this of a nest of those irascible insects with a commonwealth infested by turbulent demagogues.

It is a truth, which we think even democrats themselves will not have the effrontery to deny, that the leaders of their party are men whose moral characters will not bear examination. Is it not then astonishing, that Americans should trust their all important political interests, upon which depends the enjoyment of their lives, liberty, and property, to men with whom they would have no dealings in their private capacity? It is not too much to say, that many men who have the management of our public concerns, or are patronized and pensioned editors of newspapers, are known to be alike destitute of honour and honesty. The infamous character of Pasquin the right hand Chronicle man, is almost proverbial in England. The political career of a certain honorable duellist, has been remarkable for ****, but as this gentleman is an excellent shot, and in constant practice it may not be prudent to offend him. We wish, however, that our readers would candidly and coolly compare the qualifications of the federalists, with those of the democrats, and not give the preference to the latter, merely because they style themselves republicans.

It is notorious that the family of wit have ever been federalists. Most of the “half formed witlings,” who have occasionally dashed in democratic newspapers, like your Cheethams and your Pasquins, are beings beneath notice in a literary point of view.

Apollo views, with honest pride
His favourites all on federal side.

Hence these poor creatures have generally passively submitted to the Federal lash, and pretended to despise their opponants like a blustering bully, who brags though he is beaten.

You will find, gentle reader, by turning to “Terrible Tractoration,” p. 64, New-York edition, a notable instance of sensibility, expressed by a felon who had been executed for murder, who being somewhat “oppugnated” by a meddling philosopher, with his Galvanic stimulants, clenched his right hand, and exhibited other menacing symptoms of his being alive to the affront. But our democrats, though spitted with the arrows of satire, by the merciless wits of the age, and roasted before the slow fire of public indignation, appear to possess as little feeling as the “passive ox,” that graced the democratic fete in Boston, held in honor of the French revolution.

This petty piece of an apostrophe we hereby acknowledge to have taken verbatim et literatim from one of Moore's songs. We consider this Confession as a very proper proceeding on our part; for having in our last edition inadvertently hit on one of Butler's rhymes, a democratic scribbler in the Baltimore Evening Post the tertium quid paper of that place has raised a hue and cry against us, forsooth for plagiarism. As well might the booby affirm that we had stolen our poetry from Cicero's Orations, because we make use of the Roman alphabet. This would-be critic has an undoubted right in a free government, to be a fool, but if he has set up for a wit, his best way, as Swift has it, is to set down again.

The famous spitting affray, and the consequent cudgelling in Congress hall, where

“With many a lusty thwack and bang,
“Hard crab-tree and old iron rang,”

are well known to every body. An appeal to the right of the strongest, became in that instance justifiable, if not unavoidable, in consequence of the obstinacy of the party whose political sentiments agreed with the gentleman, who in that rencounter had the honor to be the cudgellee. It is to be feared, however, that the most forcible arguments of this kind, will not always be sufficiently powerful to make a lasting impression on the headstrong demagogues of this faction. Some political partizans, have shown themselves to be so wilfully blind, obstinate, and ignorant, that the means which we have mentioned in “Terrible Tractoration.”

Of making sky lights to the mind.
By boring a hole through the body.

seem to be the only practicable mode by which they can be enlightened. But this method will not be adopted by the federalists. The more violent demagogues of the now ruling party, it is to be feared, will be the first to sacrifice their leaders, while the latter, like Fayette in France, and like M'Kean in America, strive in vain to hush the hurricane of their own exciting.

The falsehoods, which Callender and others have been paid for propagating, the torrents of abuse which have been poured upon Washington and other patriots, are now, happily for the public, pretty generally traced to their filthy sources. The characters of the men who have been vilified by the scoundrel-gang of Mr. J---n's hirelings, are found to be such as do honor to our country. But their calumniators .... who are they? Cheethams, Pasquins, Duanes .... men who (to talk like an Irishman) had they lived in their native country till this time would have been hung, years ago.

It is a truth which the political history of America makes abundantly manifest, that the principal disturbances which have convulsed the United States, have originated in the intrigues of “imported patriots.” This is a circumstance, which is by no means remarkable, when we consider the habits, attachments, and situations of such foreigners in their native country. Few men are disposed to migrate from the land of their nativity, who are not thereto induced by misconduct, or a turbulent and aspiring disposition. The principle which is denominated patriotism, modern philosophers notwithstanding, is implanted in man by the hand of nature, and he who has divested himself of that principle, either by philosophizing, or by any other still less justifiable means, must have rooted out those moral feelings which are the best security of society. Besides, foreigners who leave their native countries, with a determination to settle in America, are, generally, men who have been accustomed to be governed themselves, and to the amount of their powers, to govern others with a strong arm .... have either themselves been hard pressed by the heavy hand of government, or have been, as members of such government, active in imposing a heavy hand on others. They have, generally, no definite ideas of that temperate liberty, which is as remote from licentiousness as it is from despotism.

All nations, except the American, have found it necessary to lay aliens under certain restrictions, disadvantages and liabilities, which, though they may appear to operate as an hardship on the individuals subjected thereto, are imperiously demanded for the purpose of securing the best interests of the communities in which such aliens reside. If such regulations are necessary in other nations, they will be found pre-eminently requisite in that of America, where, such is the want of power in our rulers, and so delicate is the mechanism of the government, that a single Gallatin may impede, if not stop its wheels. But this subject has been ably discussed in Congress, in the debates respecting the repeal of the Alien Law.

Freedonia is a cant phrase, which certain small poets or prosaic scribblers, we forget which, would have us adopt as an appellative to designate the United States of America. At a time like this, when misrule and licentiousness are the order of the day, there can be but little propriety in coining new phrases to enrich the vocabulary of sedition.

There always is something “rotten in the state of Denmark,” if men of the first abilities are decried by demagogues, and pointed out as proper objects for the jealousy of the people. That the principal talents in America are now in disgrace because they are federalists, none but the most brazen faced partizans will deny. If by talents, however, we are to understand

“That low cunning, which in fools supplies,
“And amply too, the place of being wise;”
Churchill,

we must allow the dominant party are far from being deficient. But wisdom and cunning are very distinct attributes, although by many absurdly blended. The former qualifies its possessors to aggrandize society, at the same time that it promotes the interests of all its individuals. The latter is of no consequence to any person but its possessor, and is by him usually employed to exalt himself at the expense of society, or of individuals. Wisdom was well exemplified in Washington, cunning in Jefferson.

Your half wits are, by nature, formed for Democracy. Leaden pated gentlemen, who vainly aspire to eminence in the learned professions, quack-doctors, illiterate clergymen, and blundering lawyers, are the Democracy of nature, and their opposites are, sometimes, styled the Aristrocracy of nature. Between these two sorts of candidates for eminence, there will always exist a covert or an open war. Those who belong to that class in society, which nature intended should move in a subordinate and limited sphere, are rarely contented with their condition, but by means of the little arts of little minds, elevate themselves to an artificial consequence, which terminates in their disgrace and the public detriment.

The impossibility of realizing all these anticipations, must create divisions and subdivisions among the now triumphant demagogues. Those who have been honestly led astray, it is to be hoped, will unite heart and hand with those who have constantly trod the path of Federal rectitude, and form a union of upright and intelligent men, who may yet preserve the nation from the “abhorred gulf” of Democratic tyranny.

Dean Swift, in some of his writings, informs us, that the word Patriot, originated from one Pat-Ryot, a turbulent Irishman who was hung for rebellion, and as we are particularly fond of etymological deduction we have here restored the word to its original orthography.

It is fresh in the recollection of every person, who is in the smallest degree acquainted with the political history of the United States, that Washington did not escape the abuse of the faction now in power. He was said to have been partial to British interests, and reviled in the most unqualified terms, by the Aurora patriots.

No measure of the federal administration, has called forth more abuse from their political opponents, than the raising of a standing army. But many who reprobate that step, and suppose that it led to that step in deep designs of domination, may, perhaps, be convinced that the motives from which it originated were pure, when they peruse the following letter from our beloved and immortal chief, by which he signified his acceptance of the command of this army, which, say the Democrats, was destined to destroy our liberties.

Mount-Vernon, July 13, 1798.

“DEAR SIR,

“I had the honor, on the evening of the 11th instant, to receive from the hand of the secretary of war, your favour of the 7th, announcing that you had, with the advice and consent of the Senate, appointed me “Lieutenant-General, and Commander in Chief of all the armies raised, or to be raised, for the service of the United States.”

“I cannot express how greatly affected I am at this new proof of public confidence, and the highly flattering manner in which you have been pleased to make the communication. At the same time, I must not conceal from you my earnest wish that the choice had fallen on a man, less declined in years, and better qualified to encounter the usual vicissitudes of war.

“You know, sir, what calculation I had made, relative to the probable course of events, on my retiring from office, and the determination I had consoled myself with, of closing the remnant of my days in my present peaceful abode; you will therefore be at no loss to conceive and appreciate the sensation I must have experienced, to bring myself to any conclusion that would pledge me, at so late a period of my life, to leave scenes I sincerely love, to enter upon the boundless field of action, incessant trouble, and high responsibility.

“It is not possible for me to remain ignorant of, or indifferent to recent transactions.

The conduct of the directory of France towards our country; their insidious hostility to its government; their various practices to withdraw the affections of the people from it; the evident tendency of their acts, and those of their agents, to countenance and invigorate opposition; their disregard of solemn treaties and laws of nations; their war upon our defenceless commerce; their treatment of our ministers of peace; and their demands, amounting to tribute, could not fail to excite in me corresponding sentiments with those my countrymen have so generally expressed in their affectionate addresses to you. Believe me sir, no one can more cordially approve of the wise and prudent measures of your administration. They ought to inspire universal confidence; and will no doubt, combined with the state of things, call from Congress such laws, and means, as will enable you to meet the full extent of the crisis.

Satisfied therefore that you have sincerely wished and endeavoured to avert war, and exhausted to the last drop, the cup of reconciliation, we can with pure hearts appeal to Heaven for the justice of our cause, and may confidently trust the final result to that kind Providence, who has heretofore, and so often, signally favoured the people of the United States.

“Thinking in this manner, and feeling how incumbent it is upon every person, of every description, to contribute at all times to his country's welfare, especially in a moment like the present, when every thing we hold dear and sacred, is so seriously threatened; I have finally determined to accept the commission of Commander in Chief of the armies of the United States, with this reserve only, that I shall not be called into the field until the army is in a situation to require my presence, or it becomes indispensible by the urgency of circumstances.

“In making this reservation, I beg it may be understood, that I do not mean to withhold any assistance to arrange and organize the army, which you think I can afford. I take the liberty also to mention, that I must decline having my acceptance considered as drawing after it any immediate charge upon the public, or that I can receive any emoluments annexed to the appointment, before entering into a situation to incur expense.

“The Secretary of War being anxious to return to the seat of government, I have detained him no longer than was necessary to a full communication upon the several points he had in charge.

“With great respect and consideration, I have the honor to be, dear sir, your most obedient humble servant, GEORGE WASHINGTON.”

The infamous Callender, a tool and hireling of Mr. Jefferson, thus expresses himself in “The Prospect Before Us:”

“This hoary-headed incendiary (Adams) bawls out, to arms!” “Alas, he is not an object of envy, but of compassion and .... of horror!” Again, “John Adams ... that scourge, that scorn, that outcast of America.”

“We have been governed by one of the most execrable of all SCOUNDRELS. He is, in private life, one of the most egregious fools on the continent.”

“He (the future historian) will inquire by what species of madness, America submitted to accept as her President, a person without abilities, and without virtue; being alike incapable of attaching either tenderness or esteem.” &c.

Democrats have so declared, but as the author of the Pursuits of Literature and some other writers of eminence are involved in a similar charge, we shall not attempt to refute the accusation, but plead the custom of authors in the Court of Criticism in our own justification.

Among other malicious manœuvres of the faction, who have supplanted the friends and followers of Washington, may be numbered the mean attempt to stigmatize Col. Pickering, by corrupting a clerk in one of the public offices. Anthony Campbell, the tool of the party on this occasion, was in 1800 a recording clerk in the office of the Auditor of the Treasury, all accounts having been previously audited and examined by the principal clerk, were registered in the books then entrusted to Campbell. The monies drawn by the Secretary of State were charged to him in those books, but the credits for the application not entered till vouchers were produced of the manner in which the sums were disbursed. Months and sometimes years necessarily expired before vouchers and receipts relative to the expenditures of money destined to the payment of our Ambassadors, and other public purposes in Europe, could be procured from the persons to whom they were transmitted.

Campbell informed some of the deep ones among the democrats, that the books of his department exhibited a large unexpended balance in the hands of Mr. Pickering. Campbell, together with one Gardner, was prevailed upon to become an instrument in the hands of the faction, and give Colonel Pickering's political opponents a view of the books. For this purpose under the pretext of personal accommodation he obtained leave to sleep in the office. A meeting of pure patriots was held at Israel Israel's, corner of Third and Chesnut streets, Philadelphia, among whom were Gallatin, Smilie, Duane, and some others amounting to eight or ten. The books of the Treasury were taken by night to Israel's, the accounts afterwards published in the Aurora transcribed by these scriveners, and the books returned before day light.

The remarks which appeared in the Washington Federalist of April 21, 1802, accompanying a developement of this dark transaction, are so pertinent to the subject that we cannot resist the temptation of transcribing them.

“Can it be supposed that Gallatin, and many others, when they examined these accounts did not know their unsettled state, and the imperfect view which they gave of the disbursement of the public money? And when Mr. Wolcott in his letter dated 23d day of June 1800, in answer to the charge in the Aurora, explained the nature of these accounts, could any one have doubted a moment that the statements so published were imperfect? And yet we find the Aurora with matchless impudence repeating, those charges. Towards Campbell we feel pity and contempt, that he should so far forget his duty as to violate the most sacred obligations of honor and perjure himself to become the tool of a party. But what emotions does the conduct of those excite who instigated him to such infamous practices, who could not only resort to means so base to obtain those documents, but likewise employ them in the manner they did, knowing them to be imperfect. If they were convinced that the charges were just, why did they not at once bring forward an impeachment against Mr. Pickering, or appoint a committee to examine into his accounts? Because they knew the result would be what every subsequent investigation has been, a fair and honorable acquittal. .... They knew what an effect a bold publication of it would have on the honest and unsuspecting yeomanry; men brought up in the simple manners of the country, unpractised in intrigue and unacquainted with the depravity of human nature.”

Gardner the accomplice of Campbell in this underhanded transaction, was rewarded by being appointed consul to Demarara. Campbell attempted to take advantage of his treachery, but Gallatin was too cunning for him, and he received nothing, till threatening a disclosure of the whole affair, an ensigncy at length stopped his mouth.

A committee of the House of Representatives was afterwards appointed for the purpose of examing the account of the late secretaries; consisting of Messrs. Nicholas, Nicholson, Stone, Otis, Griswold, Waln, and Craik, the three first of whom were democrats.

This committee, after a laborious scrutiny, by their report entirely exculpated Mr. Pickering; and Gallatin himself acknowledged that “the whole of the money received by Mr. Pickering, had been applied to public purposes. It likewise appeared that Mr. Pickering not only had not embezzled one single dollar of the public money, but that he had saved to the United States 14,588 dollars, by a purchase of bills of exchange on London, which, with the new school-conscience, he might very conveniently have appropriated to his own use.

Notwithstanding such was the purity of Pickering, the venal Aurora, whose unprincipled editor has done much, very much towards clamouring down every man of merit in the community, published a number or articles, with the title of “Public Plunder,” which contributed not a little to the election of Mr. Jefferson and the establishment of Duane's importance as an editor. In one of these, Duane asserted, that on The 18th of April 1800, Mr. Pickering had drawn upon the treasury for fifty thousand dollars; and that at the time when he drew for this sum he had in his hands three hundred thousand dollars unaccounted for. Duane, likewise declared that Mr. Pickering held in his hands nearly double the amount of both these sums, intimating that he then was delinquent in the enormous sum of seven hundred thousand dollars.

This is one instance, among the many which might be adduced, proving the base means to which certain men have resorted, for the purpose of tarnishing the reputation of those heroes and statesmen to whose exertions we are chiefly indebted for our national prosperity. The falsehoods by which democrats have achieved the purpose of elevating themselves, and disgracing the nation, are thrown aside as soon as by their instrumentality these precious objects are attained. Thus it was said that the war office buildings were purposely set on fire by Mr. Wolcott. Thus Hamilton and M'Henry, with a number of other federal patriots, have been accused of peculation and other crimes, by their political adversaries, but not a single proof of improper conduct in office, has ever been adduced. The effect of these falsehoods, however, has been to stigmatize their characters in the opinion of many of their fellow-citizens, and to put a period to their political existence. If such are to be the rewards of patriotism in America, it is to be feared, it will soon be a plant of rare growth.

The untimely fall of Gen. Hamilton excites emotions, which we shall not attempt in this place to express. Few writers are equal to the task of pourtraying in just colours, the character of that great man, and we cannot forbear entering our critical caveat against the style and manner of some of the eulogies which we have seen in commemoration of his untimely decease. In many of these productions we have observed a strained elevation, a redundancy of rhetorical flourishes, which appear rather to emanate from an ambition to display the talents of the orator, than from feelings of affection for the deceased, or a wish to commemorate his virtues. The expressions of grief are simply pathetic. The fancy never makes wild excursions, when the heart is wrung with anguish. The eulogies, however, of Messrs. Morris, Otis, and some few others, are pure and correct; the effusions of genius, chastened by judgment and taste. From the latter of these performances. I am happy to present the following extract, as it is happily illustrative of that magnanimity and greatness of soul, which distinguishes the real hero, from the bold and aspiring demagogue.

“The principles professed by the first leaders of that (the French) revolution, were so congenial to those of the American people; their pretences of aiming merely at the reformation of abuses were so plausible; the spectacle of a great people struggling to recover their “long-lost liberties” was so imposing and august; while that of a combination of tyrants to conquer and subjugate, was so revolting; the services received from one of the belligerent powers, and the injuries inflicted by the other, were so recent in our minds, that the sensibility of the nation was excited to the most exquisite pitch. To this disposition, so favourable to the wishes of France, every appeal was made, which intrigue, corruption, flattery, and threats could dictate. At this dangerous and dazzling crisis, there were but few men entirely exempt from the general delirium. Among the few was Hamilton. His penetrating eye discerned, and his prophetic voice foretold, the tendency and consequence of the first revolutionary movements. He was assured that every people which should espouse the cause of France would pass under her yoke, and that the people of France, like every nation which surrenders its reason to the mercy of demagogues, would be driven by the storms of anarchy upon the shores of despotism. All this he knew was conformable to the invariable law of nature and experience of mankind. From the reach of this desolation he was anxious to save his country, and in the pursuit of his purpose, he breasted the assaults of calumny and prejudice. “The torrent roared, and he did buffet it.” Appreciating the advantages of a neutral position, he co-operated with Washington, Adams, and the other patriots of that day, in the means best adapted to maintain it. The rights and duties of neutrality proclaimed by the president, were explained and enforced by Hamilton in the character of Pacificus. The attempts to corrupt and intimidate were resisted. The British treaty was justified and defended as an honorable compact with our natural friends, and pregnant with advantages, which have since been realized and acknowledged by its opponents.

“By this pacific and vigorous policy, in the whole course of which the genius and activity of Hamilton were conspicuous, time and information were afforded to the American nation, and correct views were acquired of our situation and interests. We beheld the republics of Europe, march in procession to the funeral of their own liberties by the lurid light of the revolutionary torch. The tumult of the passions subsided, the wisdom of the administration was perceived, and America now remains a solitary monument in the desolated plains of liberty.

“Having remained at the head of the treasury several years, and filled its coffers; having developed the sources of ample revenue, and tested the advantages of his own system by his own experience; and having expended his private fortune; he found it necessary to retire from public employment and to devote his attention to the claims of a large and dear family. What brighter instance of disinterested honor has ever been exhibited to an admiring world! That a man, upon whom devolved the task of originating a system of revenue for a nation; of devising the checks in his own department; to provide for the collections of sums, the amount of which was conjectural; that a man, who anticipated the effects of a funding system, yet a secret in his own bosom, and who was thus enabled to have secured a princely fortune, consistently with principles esteemed fair by the world; that such a man by no means addicted to an expensive or extravagant style of living, should have retired from an office destitute of means adequate to the wants of mediocrity, and have resorted to professional labour for the means of decent support, are facts which must instruct and astonish those, who, in countries habituated to corruption and venality are more attentive to the gains than to the duties of an official station. .... Yet Hamilton was that man. It was a fact always known to his friends, and it is now evident from his testament, made under a deep presentiment of his approaching fate. Blush then, ministers and warriors of imperial France, who have deluded your nation by pretensions to a disinterested regard for its liberties and rights! Disgorge the riches extorted from your fellow-citizens, and the spoils amassed from confiscation and blood! Restore to the impoverished nation the price paid by them for the privilege of slavery, and now appropriated to the refinement of luxury! Approach the tomb of Hamilton, and compare the insignificance of your gorgeous palaces with the awful majesty of this tenement of clay!

“We again accompany our friend in the walks of private life, and in the assiduous pursuit of his profession, until the aggressions of France compelled the nation to assume the attitude of defence. He was now invited by the great and enlightened statesman who had succeeded to the presidency, and at the express request of the Commander in Chief, to accept of the second rank in the army. Though no man had manifested a greater desire to avoid war, yet it is freely confessed that when war appeared to be inevitable, his heart exulted in “the tented field,” and he loved the life and occupation of a soldier. His early habits were formed amid the fascinations of the camp. And though the pacific policy of Adams once more rescued us from war, and shortened the existence of the army establishment, yet its duration was sufficient to ensure to him the love and confidence of officers and men, to enable him to display the talents and qualities of a great general, and to justify the most favourable prognostics of his prowess in the field.

“Once more this excellent man unloosed the helmet from his brow, and returned to the duties of the forum. From this time he persisted in a firm resolution to decline all civil honors and promotion, and to live a private citizen, unless again summoned to the defence of his country. He became more than ever assiduous in his practice at the bar, and intent upon his plans of domestic happiness, until a nice and mistaken estimate of the claims of honor, impelled him to the fatal act which terminated his life.”

Since quoting the above I have perused the oration of J. M. Mason, D. D. commemorative of the virtues and talents of this illustrious man. It is a splendid effort of genius which would have done credit to the pen of a Burke, and appears to have been inspired by a spirit akin to that of the hero it celebrates. We should think the style of the eulogy somewhat too highly encomiastic, were not the subject a Hamilton; but it is scarcely possible to employ too bold a pencil in giving characteristic scketches of such a man.

Some traits of General Hamilton, published in the Boston Repertory, and said to have been drawn up by the Hon. Fisher Ames, are eminently beautiful. The pencil of S. Cullen Carpenter, editor of the Charleston Courier, whose literary productions have acquired him a highly deserved celebrity, has pourtrayed, in letters of light, the principal features in this most distinguished character; indeed the portrait of Hamilton, as drawn by the hands of the writers we have mentioned, ought to be in the possession of every American of taste and sensibillty.

The incessant torrents of calumny, which have been poured on that truly great man, since the fatal rencontre which terminated his existence, exhibits a lamentable proof of democratic depravity. The conduct of a Chronicle scribbler in Boston in particular (said to be the late candidate for governor, Mr. Sullivan) has often called to our recollection the following lines from Churchill:

“Should love of fame, in every noble mind
A brave disease, with love of virtue join'd,
Spur thee to deeds of pith, where courage try'd
In reason's court is amply justified,
Or fond of knowledge, and averse to strife,
Shouldst thou prefer the calmer walks of life;
Shouldst thou by pale and sickly study led,
Pursue coy science to the fountain head;
Virtue thy guide, and public good thy end,
Should every thought to our improvement tend,
To curb the passions, to enlarge the mind,
Purge the sick world and humanize mankind;
Rage in her eye and malice in her breast,
Redoubled horror grinning on her crest,
Fiercer each snake, and sharper every dart,
Quick from her cell shall madening envy start:
Then shalt thou find, but find, alas! too late,
How vain is worth! how short is glory's date!
Then shalt thou find, when friends with foes conspire
To give more proof than virtue would desire,
Thy danger chiefly lies in acting well;
No crime's so great as daring to excell.”

We would refer our readers to “A Collection of Facts and Documents relative to the death of Gen. Hamilton,” by the editor of the Evening Post.

We have here adorned our poetry with a very judicious rhetorical flourish, quoted from the declarations of the dashing nabobs of the south, who first signalized themselves by their opposition to that instrument. The virulent, and unqualified abuse, which has been heaped upon General Washington. Mr. Jay, and the whole federal party for having given origin to a treaty, which in all probability prevented our participating in the crimes and horrors of the French revolution is scarcely to be paralleled in the annals of political contests. Nothing short of the prudence of a Washington could have stemmed the tide of democratic depravity on this occasion. None, however, of the evils anticipated from this deprecated treaty have taken place, and it is abundantly manifest on investigating the causes of Virginian virulence that self interest was the real motive of the leaders in exciting this alarm.

It appears that the claims of British creditors against Virginia, only as exhibited by their commissioners, appointed under the 6th article of Mr. Jay's treaty, amounted to 8,500,000 dollars, but those against the whole of the New-England states were but a little rising of 100,000 dollars. These claims, although not positive evidences of debts due to their whole amount, yet furnish a clue for a proportional estimate of the debts due from Virginia, and from the New-England states.

No doubt the easiest way for Virginia to pay this debt was, to use the expressions of some of their leaders to “kick the treaty to h---ll.” This they might do, in the course of their proceedings without going out of their way.

It ought not, however, to be forgotten that this obnoxious treaty, and the hostilities committed by England on our commerce in the year 1793, were the consequence of Virginia delinquency and aggression. The legislature of Virginia, in October 1783, passed an act to absolve British debtors from the payment of money, even after their debts had been ascertained by judgments in courts of law. On the other hand the British refused to relinquish the possession of the northern posts. In December 1787, in consequence of an earnest requisition of congress the assembly of Virginia passed an act apparently to repeal all such acts of that state as had prevented, or might prevent the recovery of debts due to British subjects, according to the true intent of the treaty. But took care in a proviso to this act to suspend the repeal, and thereby render it entirely null, under the pretence of infractions on the part of the British, thus arrogating to themselves power, which of right belonged to the general government, and making a mere farce of their own proceedings.

The English, however, not being disposed to relish this kind of treatment, appealed to their ultiam ratio, commenced a war on our commerce, and thus collected their demands by virtue of the authority of their cannon. The immense losses which of consequence fell upon the merchants of the eastern and middle states in the year 1793, by British captures, will not soon be forgotten.

But this was not all. Mr. King in pursuance of instructions of the federal administration, negociated for the payment, at the treasury of the United States, of 600,000l. sterling, nearly three millions of dollars, for losses sustained by British subjects, by legal impediments to prevent the collection of their demands chiefly against these Virginia debtors.

Thus Virginian delinquency cost the United States nearly 3,000,000 dollars, subjected us to those depredations on our commerce in 1793, by which the country sustained immense losses, and laid the foundation for Mr. Jay's treaty, which has [illeg.] so much clamour among our precious patriots against the federal administration.

The standing army, the funding system, and the land tax have each furnished most fruitful topics of democratic declamation, and the party in power by artfully attaching to the federalists the odium, which the mere mention of these bug-bear measures, has never failed to excite, have succeeded in accomplishing their political destruction. We have already shown on what occasion the army was raised. The funding system, the theme of never ceasing clamour, from those who have uniformly opposed every public measure, which had a tendency to promote the honor and happiness of our country, met the unequivocal approbation of one of the greatest giants of the dominant faction. Gallatin in his treatise on the finances of the United States, after finding all the fault he decently could with the measures of the federal administration, has the following remarks.

“Let it not be supposed that any of those reflections are intended to convey any censure on that part of the funding system, which provided for the payment of the interest of the proper debt of the United States. They are designed merely to show that the propriety of that measure must depend solely on its justice. Whether the debt had been funded on the plan of discrimination in favour of the original holders, or those who had performed the services, or, as has been the case in favour of the purchasers of certificates, the general effects would have been nearly the same; and unless the American government had chosen to forfeit every claim to common honesty it must necessarily provide for discharging the principal, or paying the interest to one or the other of two descriptions of persons.”

It is likewise a fact that the land tax “was a measure to which the federalists had been urged for years by their political opponents because they foresaw in it the ruin of their power.” See Bayard's speech on the Judiciary Bill.

Here is displayed a little of this gentleman's sort of cunning. In the name of common sense how was it possible for the government to establish a fund in favour of some individuals, who might hold these securities to the prejudice of other individuals, who might hold the same sort of securities. Shall a promissory note payable to A. or bearer, and purchased by B. not be collected by the latter, because he paid less than its nominal value, and run the risk of the failure of the drawer?

It cannot be forgotten that such was the cry of the demagogue papers from one end of the United States to the other. A committee, however, being appointed to enquire into the causes of the fires, these gentlemen were honorably exculpated, and democrats were under the necessity of inventing new falsehoods to answer the purposes of the party. It happened very providentially, that all the papers which were necessary to show the perfect integrity, not only of Mr. Wolcott, but of the whole Federal administration in fiscal concerns, were saved.

The lie about Robbins the British pirate, so often affirmed by democrats to have been an American citizen, and born in Danbury in Connecticut, has been repeated times without number by the democratic newspapers.

This tale was propagated with an intention to throw odium on Mr. Adams for having directed the criminal to be surrendered to justice. It appears that his letter to Judge Bee, and which has been the ground of all the clamour of Robbins' sympathizing friends, merely directed him to be delivered up if proved to be a British subject and a pirate and a murderer. The man previous to his execution acknowledged himself to be a British subject, and owned that the sentence by which he suffered was just. But Mr. Carleton would not agree to this. This tender hearted gentleman, editor of the Salem Register, and his brethren in iniquity, declared that Robbins was a good man, and an American citizen, and Adams a tyrant, who had been instrumental in his destruction. Indeed it is not very marvellous that a good democrat should feel an interest in the sufferings of one whose life and conversation declared him to be a member of their fraternity.

“Never did trusty squire with knight
Or knight with squire e'er jump more right,”
Hudibras.

Carleton has been indicted, found guilty, and punished with fine and imprisonment for publishing a false and malicious libel on Mr. Pickering.

I do not mean to assert that Mr. Jefferson hung, burnt, or guillotined his opponents. But perhaps the means by which the federalists have been “oppugnated,” have been but little less destructive to the sufferers, and but little more honorable on the part of those who have adopted such means. Starving a man and his family, is doubtless, an effectual method of dispatching him.

Most of the federalists, who held offices under the Washington and Adams administrations, had devoted much time and expense to qualify themselves for such offices, and in many instances had relinquished lucrative professions and branches of business, that they might the better perform the duties of those offices. These have been displaced for young and ignorant persons, and in many instances foreigners, whose sole recommendation has been their Jeffersonian politics, while the war-worn veteran who had fought the battles of our Independence, and grown, not only old, but poor, in active services for his country, is prohibited from tasting the fruits of his labours, by the faction which is now dominant, and seems willing “to owe their greatness to their country's ruin.”

To give a catalogue of all the worthies, who have adorned Mr. Jefferson's Proscription list, would be to name almost every honest man who held any office under government, at the time Mr. Jefferson was elected.

The following is a list of a few, who were removed from office, for no other reason than their being obnoxious on account of their political opinions:

John Wilkes Kittera, Attorney for the Eastern District, Pennsylvania; John Hall, Marshal of the same District; Samuel Hogdon, Superintendant of Public Stores at Philadelphia; John Harris, Store Keeper at the same place; Henry Miller, Supervisor of the Revenue of the District of Pennsylvania; J. M. Lingan, Attorney for the District of Columbia; Thomas Iwan, Attorney; John Pierce, Commissioner of Loans for the State of Newhampshire; Thomas Martin, Collector of the District of Portsmouth, in the same state; Jacob Sheaffe, Navy Agent at Portsmouth; Richard Harrison, Attorney for the District of New-York; Aquila Giles, Marshal of the same District; James Watson, Navy Agent for New-York; Joshua Sands, Collector of the Port of New-York; Nicholas Fish, Supervisor of the District of New-York; William Smith, Minister Plenipotentiary to the Court of Portugal; William Vans Murray, Minister Resident to the Batavian Republic; David Humphreys, Minister Plenipotentiary to the Court of Madrid; Elizur Goodrich, Collector of New-Haven, John Chester, Supervisor of the District of Connecticut; Ray Greene, Judge of Rhode-Island District; Winthrop Sargeant, Governor of the Missisippi Territory; David Hopkins, Marshal of the District of Maryland; Andrew Bell, Collector of the Port of Amboy; Aaron Dunham, Supervisor of the District of New-Jersey; James Dole, Marshal of the District of Albany; Robert Hamilton, Marshal of the District of Delaware; Harrison G. Otis, Attorney for the District of Massachusetts; Chauncey Whittlesey, Collector of Middletown, Connecticut; Amos Marsh, Attorney for the District of Vermont; Jabez Fitch, Marshal for the same District; Samuel Bradford, Marshal of the District of Massachusetts; Thomas Perkins, Commissioner of Loans for the State of Massachusetts; cum multis aliis, all good men and true; and we believe that their successors in office have been men, whose talents, reputation, or pretensions to public patronage, could in no way entitle them to take the precedence of the gentlemen who were displaced, had not the spirit of party turned the “world upside down.”

Well might Mr. Bayard observe of such management by the party in power “It is in this path we see the real victims of stern, uncharitable, unrelenting power. It is here, we see THE SOLDIER WHO FOUGHT THE BATTLES OF THE REVOLUTION; who spilt his blood, and wasted his strength to establish the Independence of his country; deprived of the reward of his services, and left to pine in penury and wretchedness. It is along this path that you may see helpless children crying for bread, and gray hairs sinking in sorrow to the grave! It is here that no innocence, no merit, no truth, no services can save the unhappy sectary, who does not believe in the creed of those in power.”

In order to please, if possible, those of our readers who are fond of the “mazes of metaphorical confusion” we have here jumbled together narrative and metaphor in a delightful manner. The Cacus to whom we allude was a sturdy democrat who stole some cattle and hid them in a cave, (very like Mr. Jefferson's.) He was found out however and destroyed by Hercules, and

Panditur extemplo foribus domus atra revulsis:
Abstractæque boves, abjuratæque rapinæ
Cœlo ostenduntur; pedibusque informe cadaver—
Protrahitur.—
Æneid Lab. viii. L. 262, &c.

Mr. Harrison was displaced from the office of District Attorney for having, like Washington, Adams and other Antijacobins, been guilty of the heinous crime of federalism, and Ned Livingstone appointed by virtue of his mighty merits as a democrat. Mr. Harrison, the obnoxious federalist discharged the duties of his office, as his political opponents acknowledge, with ability and fidelity, and was never even suspected of having applied to his own use the people's money. But Mr. Ned took the liberty to appropriate to his own private purposes the trifling sum of one hundred thousand dollars as appears by a judgment obtained against him in the District Court of the United States, and is now living on the people's money, in a stile of genuine extravagance at New-Orleans. If one feels a disposition to be a rogue, what a fine affair it is to be a good democrat!

It is very remarkable that with all the clamour against Messrs. Pickering and Wolcott for pretended defalcations, misappropriations and other malconduct in office, that our good democratic committees, &c. should be so careful to forget to mention the deficiency of Mr. patriot Randolph, former Secretary of State.

Mr. Senator Bidwell the subject of the present eulogium, exhibited the germ of those talents, which have since budded, and blossomed and bloomed in the rankest luxuriance of democracy, in a juvenile production of most astonishing ingenuity, “intitled and called THE MERCENARY MATCH.” From some specimens of that performance with which we have been favoured by the Editor of the Boston Repertory, we are led to suppose that the good goddess of dullness could never boast of a more hopeful pupil. A small calf may make a large bullock, and a stupid and conceited boy is often matured to a very knowing demagogue.

We ought, perhaps, to apologise to our readers for troubling them with remarks on such an insipid thing as the harangue in question. But as this production of Mr. Bidwell may serve as a specimen of the general tenor of the democratic Fourth of July speeches which have fallen within our notice, we hope that our remarks may be of service to such of our young gentlemen of the New School as may be called hereafter to exhibit oratorical talents on any similar occasion.

“By the Declaration of Independence, which has just been read, a Nation was politically born in a day.”

The story of our Nation's being born on the Fourth of July, 1776, has been told us in prose and in poetry, times without number. Mr. Bidwell has added an important appendage of circumstances; and we have taken the liberty to enlarge further on the phenomena attending this birth. In the first place, we learn by Mr. B. that our nation was born very suddenly. Secondly, that in this wonderful birth, the Declaration of Independence acted as accoucheur. Thirdly, that this was a political birth. Fourthly, that all this was done in a day. Fifthly, that this important instrument, or agent, or accoucheur, had just been read. Sixthly, we have taken the liberty to add, that in such a busy season of the year, genuine republican economy should have directed all these operations to have been performed in the night, which, besides a saving of time, would have superadded the advantages of all the silence and solemnity of a Virginian caucus.

“The revolutionary war,” quoth Mr. Bidwell, “occupied a little more than seven years and a half, from the battle of Lexington, on the 19th of April 1775, to the signing provincial articles of peace on the 30th of November, 1782. Highly IMPORTANT!

“The British troops commenced actual hostilities in April, 1775. An army was raised for defence, and George Washington of Virginia was appointed commander in chief.” Surprising intelligence!

The following extract of a letter from General Washington to Charles Carrol of Maryland, dated Mount Vernon, August 2, 1798, several months after passing all those laws, which seem so obnoxious to the party now in power, will show what right they have to claim any advantage from the popularity of his name.

“Although,” says Gen. Washington “I highly approve of the measures taken by government, to place this country in a posture of defence, and even wish they had been more energetic, and shall be ready to obey its call under the reservations I have made, whenever it is made: yet I am not without hope, mad and intoxicated as the French are, that they will pause, before they take the last step. That they have been deceived in their calculations on the division of the people and the powerful support they expect from their party is reduced to a certainty, though it is somewhat equivocal still, whether THAT PARTY who have been THE CURSE OF THIS COUNTRY, and the SOURCE OF THE EXPENCES WE HAVE TO ENCOUNTER, may not be able to continue THEIR DELUSION. What pity it is the expence could not be taxed upon them.”

“With halters about their necks, the signers of the Declaration of Independence set their names to an instrument, which in case of failure, they knew must be their death warrant. Yes, my friend, had the revolution been crushed, they would have been distinguished from common rebels, and signally executed, or exiled.” Very true Mr. Bidwell, but we shall see presently where your party will land with this kind of reasoning.

I would not be understood as intending to satirize the tories as such. There were, undoubtedly, many tories, who were honest men and true friends to their country, but who supposed that opposition to Great Britain was, wrong in principle, and impossible in practice. But since our democrats are stigmatizing the federalists, with this among other unpopular epithets, it becomes necessary to repel the charge as often as it is made or insinuated. I believe it will be found difficult to find any among the native Americans, who took an active part during the revolutionary war against their country, who have not since been induced, by the same kind of time-serving policy, and want of principle to become democrats, and who, like Talleyrand, or the Vicar of Bray are not willing to become any thing and every thing, which interest dictates. See note 19, p. 12.

Mr. Bidwell affirms that the amendment of the constitution, which declared a state not suable by a private citizen, and that which made it necessary to designate by electoral votes the distinct candidates for President and Vice President were republican. If Mr. Bidwell will give the same meaning to the term republican that Buonaparte has ever done, we shall not dispute with him. The republicanism of the latter is but despotism in disguise, and that of the former with a proper analysis will be found to be substantially the same.

The legislature of the state of Georgia, under shelter of its inviolability has been guilty of a flagrant breach of contract—has burnt its records and shaken the pillars of society by striking at the right of property. Similar cases may again happen, and according to Mr. Bidwell's republican amendment, there can no responsibility attach to the violation of a principle, which forms the basis of civilized society. The other republican amendment opens a wide door for intrigue and corruption, takes away a powerful check which the smaller states possessed over the larger, and flies directly in the face of the constitution as it originally stood.

The reasoning of Mr. Tracy respecting this amendment, (falsely so called) one would suppose was irresistible; and indeed we do not pretend to so much charity as not to be induced to impeach the motives of those State cobblers, who by this and other similar proceedings, have frittered away our Constitution, and broken down those barriers which, by the wisdom of its framers, were designed to give stability to society.

The following extract, quoted from Mr. Tracy's speech in the Senate of the United States upon this subject, contains arguments and facts, which ought to have been conclusive against this mischievous innovation.

“The constitution, is nicely balanced with the Federative and the popular principles; the Senate are the guardians of the former, and any pretence to destroy this balance, under whatever specious names or pretences they may be mentioned should be watched with a jealous eye. Perhaps a fair definition of the constitutional power of amending is that you may, upon experiment, so modify the constitution, in its practice and operation as to give it in its own principles a more complete effect. But this is an attack upon a fundamental principle, established after long deliberation, and by material concession: a principle of essential importance to the instrument itself, and an attempt to wrest from the small states a vested right; and by it to increase the power and influence of the large States.”

“Nothing can be more obvious than the intention of the plan, adopted by our constitution for choosing a President. The Electors are to nominate two persons, of whom they cannot know which will be the President, This circumstance not only induces them to select both from the best men; but gives a direct advantage into the hands of the small states, even in the Electoral choice; for they can always elect from the two candidates, set up by the Electors of large states, by throwing their votes upon their favorite; and of course giving him a majority, or if the Electors of the large states should prevent this effect they can scatter their votes for one candidate, then the Electors of the small states would have it in their power to elect a Vice President. So that in any event the small states will have a considerable agency in the election. But if the discriminating or designating principle is carried, as contained in this resolution, the whole agency of the small states, in the Electoral choice of Chief Magistrate is destroyed, and their chance of obtaining a federative choice, by states, if not destroyed is very much diminished.”

Among the sophisms and misrepresentations with which this harrangue is teeming, those respecting our federal judges are not the least mischievous. Mr. Bidwell informs us that “the office of an English judge is and always has been repeatable by an act of the Legislature.” To this we shall oppose the conclusive reasoning of General Hamilton, taken from his “Examination of the President's Message at the opening of Congress December 7, 1801, than which a more able political tract never fell from the pen of a statesman.

“One more defence of this formidable claim” (to wit, of abolishing the offices of the Federal Judges) “is attempted to be drawn from the example of the Judiciary establishment of Great Britain. It is observed, that this establishment, the theme of copious eulogy on account of the Independence of the Judges, places these officers on a footing far less firm than will be that of the Judges of the United States, even admitting the right of Congress to abolish their offices, by abolishing the Courts of which they are members: and as one proof of the assertion, it is mentioned that the English Judges are removable by the King, on the address of the two houses of Parliament.

“All this might be very true, and yet would prove nothing as to what is, or ought to be the construction of our Constitution on this point. It is plain from the provision respecting compensation that the framers of that Constitution intended to prop the independence of the Judges beyond the precautions which have been adopted in England in respect to the Judges of that country; and the intention apparent in this particular, is an argument, that the same spirit may have governed other provisions. Cogent reasons have been assigned, applicable to our system, and not applicable to the British system, for securing the independence of our Judges against the Legislature, as well as against the Executive power.

“It is alleged that the statute of Great Britain of the 13 of William III. was the model from which the framers of our constitution copied the provisions for the independence of the Judiciary. It is certainly true, that the idea of the tenure of office during good behaviour, found in several of our constitutions, is borrowed from that source. But it is evident that the framers of our federal system did not mean to confine themselves to that model.—Hence the restraint of the legislative discretion, as to compensation; hence the omission of the provision for the removal of the judges by the executive, on the application of the two branches of the legislature; a provision, which has been imitated in some of the state governments.” See No. 17 of a series of essays with the signature of Lucius Crassus, originally published in the Evening Post, and afterwards printed in a pamphlet.

Again, says the learned orator Bidwell, “The very act creating the circuit courts expressly abolished pre-existing courts. Yet it was afterwards contended that the courts created by that act could not be constitutionally abolished.”

The truth, however, is, that that act did not abolish pre-existing courts in such a way as to affect the dignity or emoluments of the judges who held offices under the first establishment. The number of the judges of the supreme court was to have been reduced from six to five, and the acreduction was deferred to the happening of a vacancy. But an extract from Mr. Morris' speech will exhibit the fallacy of Mr. Bidwell's reasoning in a point of view which cannot but be conclusive against him.

“It is said, that by this law, the district judges in Tennessee and Kentucky are removed from office, by making them circuit judges. And again, that you have by law appointed two new offices, those of the circuit judges, and filled them by law, instead of pursuing the modes of appointment prescribed by the constitution. It does indeed put down the district courts, but is so far from destroying the offices of district judges, that it declares the persons filling those offices shall perform the duty of holding circuit courts; and so far is it form appointing circuit judges, that it declares the circuit courts shall be held by the district judges.”

Mr. Bidwell in the next place is pleased to inform us, that judges are annually elected in Connecticut. But he does not say that such annual election is brought about by violating the constitution; neither does he say that an independent judiciary would not be a desideratum in that state.

“The act now under consideration is a legislative construction of this clause in the constitution, that congress may abolish as well as create these judicial officers; because it does expressly, in the 27th section, abolish the then existing courts for the purpose of making way for the present.”—
Breckenridge's speech.

Mr. Bidwell rails at the federalists for levying direct taxes, complains of the permanent offices (contingent he should say) thereby created; and among others, the land tax is an object of his particular animadversion. The act, however, which imposed this terrible tax, was not altogether of federal origin; and if there is any odium to be attached to that measure, (which I deny) our democrats ought, in due degree, to suffer. This will appear from the following statement, every word of which can be abundantly proved from public documents:

“A committee of ways and means, consisting of one member of each state, were appointed for the purpose of devising the best method of raising a tax. The democratic gentlemen, with Mr. Maddison at their head, proposed, and (this having become the opinion of the majority) reported in favour of a land tax, and in consequence Mr. Wolcott was directed to frame a report for that purpose, and present it at the next session of congress, when a report was accepted in favour of the land tax. Mr. Maddison, whose measure it was considered to be, was the man who particularly appeared on the floor as its defender and supporter. It is likewise a fact, that Mr. Gallatin, in his book of finances, has expressly recommended a land tax to the administration.” New-York Evening Post, July 15, 1803.

Nothing can prove more effectually the influence of names, abstracted from the things which they represent, than the circumstance of the federal stamp act having been obnoxious to the middling, and lower classes of the American people. Farmers and mechanics, who perhaps would not be liable to pay a cent a year, were prevailed upon by demagogues to be very much alarmed at the idea of this tax being something dreadful in its nature and tendency,—something like the old British stamp act, in which, not the tax itself, but the right to impose it was the object of dispute. Too many well meaning men were prodigiously frighted at the idea of the stamp act being the harbinger of Federal Monarchy, or some other sort of incomprehensible tyranny. They therefore opposed this terrible measure, and were indulged with taxes on brown sugar, salt and bohea tea, in its stead, by which a revenue is derived altogether from the middling and lower classes. This looks as if it might be possible for the people to be “their own worst enemies.”

We shall not fatigue our readers, with a repetition of those queries. They are in substance merely inquiries whether the people of the United States would be pleased with the re-adoption of the same measures which formerly characterised the federal administration? Whether a land tax, excise law, a standing army, &c. &c. would be again submitted to by the citizens of the United States?

To this we might answer in a word: Similar circumstances might render similar measures not only advisable, but indispensable to preserve our independence as a nation. If a Gallatin should organize an insurrection; if a Gallo-American faction should form a league with Buonaparte, or a French ambassador, aided by wrong-headed and treacherous Americans, should attempt to prostrate our country at the foot of France; if Great-Britain or France should find leisure from their own disputes to commit depredations on our commerce, we shall be under the necessity of again recurring to federal men, and federal measures, or resign our honour, our respectability, and probably, our independence as a nation.

One of the proprietors, and the principal writer in the Boston Chronicle, assumes the signature of Honestus.

This loan which has occasioned so much clamour among our demagogues, was rendered necessary by the dangers which threatened us from France, and from the expences of Gallatin's insurrection. A committee of congress, who were, no doubt, nearly as competent to judge of this business as Mr. Honestus, with the concurrence of Mr. Nicholson, and other democrats, unanimously reported that they saw “no reason to doubt that these loans were negociated on the best terms which could be procured, and with a laudable view to the public interest.”

In proof of this assertion, we would refer to General Washington's letter to Mr. Carrol. See page 163.

Pre-eminently hard is the fate of federalism, and sad is the destiny of the followers of Washington, in being stigmatized with the crimes of their opponents, and criminated for the misfortunes and expenses which were the necessary result of the conduct of their political adversaries. Virginian delinquency caused great depredations on our commerce, and this was imputed to federalism. Democrats organized a whiskey insurrection, which caused great national expenses, these too were said to be the consequence of federalism. The domineering views of France, aided by the French faction in this country, in the opinion of Washington, Adams, and the other sages and patriots who at that time directed our councils, rendered a provisional army necessary. This too was the sin of federalism. But

“Troy yet may wake, at one avenging blow,
Crush the dire authors of their country's woe.”

It is well known that the faction, which has built itself up on the ruins of the Washington and Adams' administrations, have been clamorous in their complaints against the federalists, for their pretended predilection to monarchy. Treatises written expressly in favour of the American government, and of the republican constitutions of the several states have been tortured into meanings quite foreign from the ideas of their authors, in order to suit the nefarious purposes of unprincipled partizans. Private conversation, uttered in moments of conviviality, has been reported and misrepresented, with all the artifice of the most malicious ingenuity. Still we are not informed of any thing more having escaped the lips of any of the leading federal characters than general expressions of apprehension, lest this government should degenerate through anarchy to despotism; and the hon. Fisher Ames, who stands among the most prominent of these pretended monarchy-loving men, has declared in substance, that if monarchy should ever be established in this country, it will be the work of the jacobins.

END OF THE FIRST VOLUME.


2. VOL. II.

—Cæcum domus scelus omne retexit.

You rogues! you rogues! you're all found out
And, “We the People,” I've no doubt,
Will put a period to your dashing,
And honest men will come in fashion.


3

CANTO IV.

The Ieffersoniad.

ARGUMENT.

With deference due, and huge humility,
Approaching Don Perfectibility,
We laud the man, by Demo's reckon'd
A sort of Jupiter the second,
Whose most correct administration
In annals of Illumination,
Will ever shine superbly splendid,
A long time after time is ended.
With awe, scarce short of adoration,
Before the glory of our nation,
With scrape submissive, cap in hand,
We, Doctor Caustic trembling stand;

4

And offer with all veneration
Due to his Highness's high station,
Our services to daub and gloss over
A philanthropical philosopher.
The mighty Chief of Carter's Mountain,
Of democratic power the fountain,
We would extol, his favour buying
By most profound and solid lying.

5

Sure never lucky man of rhyme
Was blest with subject more sublime,
And ere his virtues we've reported,
We shall or ought to be—transported!
Touch'd by our pencil, every fault
Shall fade away like mount of salt,
Which late, 'tis said, in weather rainy,
Was melted in Louisiana.
Posterity shall puff the Statesman,
Whom we will prove is our first rate's man,
Nor Gaffer Time shall dare to tarnish
The character we mean to varnish.
But shall we not, as poets use
First set about to seek a muse,

6

One of Apollo's fiddling lasses,
Who runs to grass on Mount Parnassus?
Dost think we had not better choose
Some mad cap Della Cruscan Muse,
To teach us featly to combine
A world of nonsense in a line?
Or call on some frail worldly wench,
As did the revolutionary French,
When th' impious monkies bent their knees on
Before their strumpet-goddess Reason?
Or shall we undertake to hire
Some democratic muse, a liar,
Who would, for pelf, in lays most civil,
Sing Hallelujahs to the devil?

7

Or seek in dark and dirty alley
A Mr. Jefferson's Miss Sally,
In our Free Government no matter
Whether coal black, or swart mulatto?
No—but with Gallatin's best whisky
Ourself will get a little frisky,
Then, either foot a poet's stilt on,
We'll strut away sublime as Milton.
Some say our chief regards religion
No more than wild goose, or a pigeon,
But I'll maintain, what seems an oddity,
He's overstock'd with that commodity.
The man must have religion plenty
To soar from “NO GOD” up to “twenty,”
No doubt of common folks the odds
As no God is to twenty Gods.

8

Though his high mightiness was skittish,
When menac'd by the bullying British

9

The Feds are wrong to make a clatter
About the Carter-Mountain matter.

10

'Twas better far to make excursion,
By way of something like diversion,

11

Than like un-philosophic hot-head
To run the risk of being shot dead.

12

Such saving prudence mark'd a sage
A great man of a former age,—

13

One Falstaff, famous as our head man,
Thought honour nothing in a dead man.

14

But being Governor of the State,
(Some carping folks presume to say't,)
He ought t' have stood some little fray,
Smelt powder ere he ran away.

15

Modern philosophers know better
Than their most noble minds to fetter,—
Their new-school principles disparage
With honour, honesty and courage.
Besides, 'tis said by other some
That charity begins at home,
That each man should take care of one,
Nor fight when there is room to run.
It is moreover my desire
That Turner be esteem'd a liar,
Convict, by Duane's Declaration,
And hung for theft and defamation.

16

And I'll make plain as College Thesis,
Our Chief as bold as Hercules is,
By proofs which must confound at once,
Each carping, scurrilous Fed'ral dunce.
A Chief who stands not shilly shally,
But is notorious for—a Sally

17

Might Mars defy, in war's dire tug,
Or Satan to an Indian hug.
Therefore ye Feds, if ye should now hard
Things mutter of a nerveless coward,
'Twill prove your characters, ye quizzes,
Black as an Empress's black phiz is.
'Tis true some wicked wags there are,
Who laugh about this dark affair,
But I can tell this shameless faction
They ought t'admire the same transaction;
And did they rightly comprehend
How means are sanction'd by the end,
They'd change their grumbling tones sarcastic
To eulogies encomiastic.
'Tis our right-worshipful belief,
This fine example of our Chief,

18

Of commerce join'd to manufactures
Makes in his character no fractures:
And we will prove, sans disputation,
Our Chief has wondrous calculation;
In politics nine times as able
As Mazarine of Machiavel.
For where's a readier resource
For that sweet “social intercourse,”
Which at a grand inauguration
Was promis'd this our happy nation?
And if, by his example, he goes
To recommend the raising negroes,
The chance is surely in his favour
Of being President forever.
A southern negro is you see, man,
Already three-fifths of a freeman,
And when Virginia gets the staff,
He'll be a freeman and a half.

19

Great men can never lack supporters,
Who manufacture their own voters;
Besides 'tis plain as yonder steeple,
They will be fathers to the people.
And 'tis a decent, clever, comical,
New mode of being economical;
For when a black is rais'd, it follows
It saves a duty of ten dollars.

20

Besides, sir opposition-prater,
That foul reproach to human nature,
The most nefarious guinea trade
May fall by presidential aid.
And he's a wayward blockhead, who says
This making negroes or pappooses
Is not accordant with the plan
Of Tom Paine's precious “Rights of Man.”
Therefore, your best and and wisest course is
With Antifeds to join your forces,
And all combine to daub and gloss over
Our philanthropical Philosopher.
I know it has been urged by some,
That he who has a wife at home
Flesh of his flesh, bone of his bone,
Might let mulatto girls alone.
But they who say it must be fools
In doctrines of th' illumin'd schools;
Not one can cobble human nature,
Or make a modern Legislator:—

21

Indeed, they show in this respect
So small a reach of intellect,
They must have shallow pates, commanding
Scarce one inch depth of understanding.
One whose philanthropy's embrace
Incloses all the human race;
Is forc'd full many schemes to try,
Where more is meant than meets the eye.
All kinds of cattle, 'tis agreed,
Improve whene'er you cross the breed,
With sheep and hogs it is the case,
And eke the jacobinic race.
We therefore think it best to tether
Your blacks and democrats together;
For in this pleasant way 'tis said
The lustiest patriots may be bred.
And we've no doubt this making brats
Between your blacks and Democrats,
Will serve like varnish or japan
For perfecting the race of man.

22

Fine scheme! the more we turn it over,
The more its beauties we discover;
This intercourse of blacks and whites
Will set the wicked world to rights.
Behold the Hartford Mercury-man
Adopts with ardour this new plan,
Will doubtless aid us in his station,
To bring it into operation.

23

And other ministerial prints,
(No doubt from Presidential hints)
Are all alive upon this topic,
So pleasant, and so philanthropic.
The more the thing we look at, true 'tis,
The more we see its myriad beauties,
For this most precious plan discovers
A new and charming field for lovers.

24

Each flaxen-headed swain will trill his
Love song to woollen-pated Phillis!
And pining Corydons will bilk
Their Mistresses of buttermilk!
Each flaunting buckish tippy bobby,
Will take a black wench for his hobby,
And Belles keep fashionable honeys,
Crow-colour'd loves, like Desdemona's.
And none but fools and arrant asses
Will care for “pale unripen'd” lasses,
Who can succeed to storm the trenches
Of blooming beautiful black wenches!!
And when in billing kisses sweet
Pasteboard and blubber lips shall meet,
'Twill be allow'd such love surpasses
E'en nectar sweeten'd with molasses!
Besides our daughters and our wives,
If happily this project thrives,
Will strengthen Jefferson's resources
By Sambo's social intercourses.

25

And pray friend Babcock send your wife,
(Now while your theory is rife)
Or bid your daughter sans a fee, go
And practice on it with a negro.
The uglier monster too the better,
But should you hesitate to let her,
'Twill prove the scandalous hypocrisy,
Of your pretensions to democracy.
All hail Columbia's transmutation
To one great grand mulatto nation!
And may success attend each dally,
Of Mr. Jefferson and Sally!
But left this subject so adorable,
To future bards who may be more able;
In lays supernal and amazing,
To set it absolutely blazing;
We will pass on and find out whether,
We cannot find another feather,
Or sprig of laurel, which may hap
To fit his Mightiness's cap.

26

Our noble Chieftain is, I wist,
The most renown'd philanthropist,
That ever yet has hatch'd a plan
That went to meliorating man:
Has form'd a scheme, which we delight in,
To stop the horrid trade of fighting;

27

Bid England cease from war's alarms,
And Buonapart' lay down his arms!

28

That is to pacify all nations,
By fine palavering proclamations,
Stating in lieu of cannon's thunder,
'Tis unpolite to rob and plunder.

29

The only obstacle I see to't,
Is, that some rascals won't agree to't;
For spite of all our Chief can say,
They will go on and fight away!
But then he shows the good he would do,
Provided, what he would he could do;
And when a man's a good intention,
He ought said good intent to mention.
And I'd rely with all my heart,
On his persuading Buonapart'
To give us liberty, as much
As France has done the Swiss and Dutch.

30

Then don't let fed'ralists provoke him,
And Mr. Jefferson will stroke him,
Till he will condescend, I trow,
Our commonwealth to take in tow.
No doubt our bright affairs with Spain,
Are in their present happy train,
In consequence of our sweet temper,
And President who's idem semper.
But should we chance to think that our
Security consists in pow'r,
Negociate with our arms in hand,
The Lord knows only where we'll land.
Most of our democrats know fully,
That lying down disarms a bully;
That nothing ever is a stranger
To every thing that looks like danger.
And doubtless French and Algerines,
Will be persuaded by such means,
'Tis best to let alone our commerce,
Nor take our hard-earn'd money from us.

31

Therefore I say, and will maintain,
The man must be a rogue in grain,
Who won't acknowledge our good President,
The greatest man on this earth resident.
Though Gossip Fame has been a talker,
Of some attempts at Mrs. Walker;

32

Yet this is silly, slanderous stuff,
Or if 'twere true 'tis right enough.

33

Your pure professors of perfection,
In morals can have no defection;

34

Like upright people, so particular,
They stand up more than perpendicular.
And I've no doubt but what this scandal,
Is nothing but a federal handle,
To blast our Emp'ror's fame, who's not less
Than Scipio or Joseph spotless.
But protest enter'd first, I may
Just mention what some people say,
Who ought to suffer bastinading,
For crime of President-degrading.
Some say 'twas vile ingratitude,
In Mr. Jefferson, so rude,
To attack his benefactor's wife,
The pride, the solace of his life;—
The virtuous woman to annoy,
By siege as long as that of Troy,
And bring bad principles to aid
His systematical blockade.

35

But I'll maintain he is consistent,
His conduct has n't a single twist in't;
If having twenty Gods, he drives
To have at least as many wives.
Among your new-school rights and duties,
There's no monopoly of beauties,
And he's a churl, who will not lend
His pretty wife t' oblige a friend.
No man, who is not old and frigid,
Or most unconscionably rigid,
Will e'er “oppugnate” this morality
Of such a pretty genteel quality.
And were all true which is related
About a note once fabricated,

36

By which his highness did intend
To ruin one he call'd his friend;
'Twas right to set himself a brewing
This cross-grain'd lady's husband's ruin,
Who, had he been polite, had chuckled
At chance to be a great man's cuckold.
From such examples men may chance
To learn your true French complaisance,
And married prudes to put no cross over
The wishes of a great philosopher.
Though he imported Thomas Paine,
(For Chronicleers have lied in vain,)

37

T' oppose with acrimonious vanity,
Law, order, morals, and christianity.
'Twas right, for aught I can discover,
To send and fetch the fellow over,
For Freedom, by his aid may chance
With us to flourish as in France.

38

The man who has such service done,
By neat abuse of Washington,

39

Deserves the highest approbation
From our great tip-end of the nation.

40

Moreover 'tis a proper season
To burnish up the “Age of Reason,”
Lest, peradventure, too much piety
Sap the foundations of society.
And we moreover understand, he
Supports the state—by drinking brandy,
And if he lives, will free the nation
From debt, without direct taxation.
But though our Chief to all intents is
A paragon of excellencies,
The wicked Feds are always prating
Matter the most calumniating.
For I've heard many a crabbed Fed,
While things like these he muttering said,

41

Though I stood tortur'd all the while in
A state which set my blood a boiling:
A fine man he to head our nation,
The very soul of fluctuation;
'Twould take the stamina of two men
Like him, to make out one old woman.
What though the democratic host
His wisdom and his talents boast,
For pelf or office, I would lay all
I'm worth, the rogues would worship Baal:
But they may white-wash all they can,
They cannot quite disguise their man,
For something of his native hue,
With all their daubing, will peep through.
Wisdom, in him descends to cunning;
Talents—a knack at danger shunning;
Morality—to be complete in
What some old-fashioned folks call cheating.
In literature, his reputation
A fabric is, without foundation.

42

What serves to please his party, some say
Is quite exuberant and clumsy.
What though he writes with some facility
What fascinates our wise mobility,
Who ever find out something grand in
Whate'er is past all understanding;
With all his sophimore's rotundity,
With all his semblance of profundity,
Pore pages over, you'll scarce see a
Novel, or well-express'd idea.
His stile is tinsel, glare and whimsey,
No lady's novel half so flimsey;
As full of glaring contradictions
As Ovid's works are full of fictions.

43

And what, indeed, we might expect,
His morals are as incorrect

44

As are his writings—froth and flummery
Express them both in manner summary.

45

With great pretence to Mathematics,
I'd ask, is his report on Staticks,

46

And Standard Measures worth a fig?
No; 'twould disgrace the learned pig.

47

Some borrowed things are well enough,
But all his own is stupid stuff,

48

And goes with fifty proofs beside
To prove his head and heart allied.

49

Who's vile enough to be defender
Of his base paper money tender,

50

In which he would defraud, forsooth,
The friend and patron of his youth.

51

Ingratitude, of crimes the worst,
In none but serpent-bosoms nurst,

52

It seems but qualifies a man
To head the democratick clan.

53

Was it not scandalous hypocrisy,
To please the looking-on mobocracy,

54

For him to sob, and sigh and groan
O'er the green grave of Washington.

55

When this same gentleman had paid
One who set up the lying trade,

56

A scoundrel from a foreign nation
To stab that hero's reputation?

57

What think you of his double shuffle,
When he and Genet had a scuffle,

58

Did it become one in his station
To show so much prevarication?

59

Will any democrat declare
That was a very pious prayer,

60

Which he for Adams, whom he hated,
So solemnly ejaculated?

61

Has he paid nothing to maintain
The press of demagogue Duane,

62

Teeming with foulest defamation
Of Washington's administration.

63

Pray plaster over, if you can, sir,
The foolish and sophistic answer

64

Which his sublimity did dish up
About th'appointment of old Bishop.

65

Have not his partisans so senseless
Stripp'd our great nation quite defenceless?

66

While Europe rings with war's alarms,
And half the world is up in arms?

67

Our native vigour paralys'd,
That now our character's despised,

68

And sunk in foreign estimation
To lowest point of degradation?
Plunder'd by every rascal pirate,
Who thinks us mark enough to fire at,
And forc'd to suffer with humility
Insults from Spanish imbecility.
Though democratick impudences,
To merit making false pretences,
Proclaim us prosperous and happy,
Like Stingo with his jug of nappy.

69

Yet this prosperity they boast,
The theme of many a July toast,
Is all the fruit of Federal toils,
Though Demo's riot in their spoils.
What though they boast their knack at saving,
'Gainst Fed'ral waste forever raving,
Still decency should keep them dumb,
For what they say is all a hum.
In Africk, lo, what triumphs won
Have told the world what might be done,
Did not a weak administration
Contrive to paralyse the nation!
The Federal navy overawes
Fell hordes of murderous Bashaws,
From whence each democrat assumes
To deck his sconce with borrow'd plumes.

70

Thus Duane's Turner cut a figure,
And felt, no doubt, as big, or bigger
In cloak he'd stolen, as if the same
Had been his own by rightful claim.
Why don't our Carter-hill commander,
Who's so beset with Federal slander,
Pursue the rogues who “dare devise”
Against his Majesty such lies;

71

Because in spite of his renown
He knows the truth would put him down,

72

Nor has he hardihood to sport
His rotten character in court.

73

Thus spake this muttering son of slander,
And made it plain to each bye-stander

74

He was a rogue belonging unto
The most nefarious Essex junto.
But should I ever hear again
A scoundrel mutter such a strain,
I'll teach the knave by dint of banging,
A prettier method of haranguing.
For know ye stubborn Feds, that I
Am very nearly six feet high,
Stout in proportion, own a cudgel
For those of Jefferson who judge ill.

75

With plenipotent paw a club in,
I'll give each Fed'ral rogue a drubbing
Who wont humillime succumb,
At beat of our poetick drum,
And kneel before the mighty man,
Who leads the democratick van,
The glorious Chief of Carter's mountain
Of democratick power the fountain;—
The theme of demi-adoration,
The very right-hand of our nation,
Compar'd with whom, all heroes must rate
As gun-boat liken'd to a first-rate.

76

And though I shan't have much to say t'ye,
You'll find my arguments are weighty,

77

Withal, so manfully propounded,
If not convinc'd, you'll be confounded.

78

By knocking down each Federal prater,
I'll e'en surpass our Legislature,
In bold display of sheer authority,
In dumb and dignifi'd majority.

79

But now my modest little Muse,
Who drips with Hybla's honey dews,
Her court'sy makes to curry favour,
With Federal gentlefolks, who waver.
Good Messrs. almost Democrats,
If you were not as blind as bats,
Before our Chief, your trembling knees on,
You'd deprecate his wrath in season.
No more at Jefferson be railing,
Nor scout the party now prevailing,

80

Although the tail “has got the upper
Hand of the head, for want of crupper.”
The character of this our nation,
'Tis time to place on some foundation,
Which may without deceit declare
To all mankind just what we are.
And IF Americans are jockies,
If public virtue but a mock is,
Then—“Hail Columbia! happy land!”
Where scoundrels have the upper hand!

81

But let Columbia be contented,
As she's at present represented,
Nor at our democrats be vext,
Lest their great prototype come next.
Now I'm a man, who would not keep ill
Terms, with my sovereign friends, the people,
Have therefore strove with main and might
To wash their Ethiopian white.
That I might suit them to a tittle,
Have stretch'd the truth—and lied a little,
For which, my complaisance, I beg,
They'll hoist my bardship up a peg
Or two or so, for I've a notion
That none can better bear promotion,
And I'll accept of any thing
From petty juryman to king.
Besides, I fancy that his highness
Wont treat his eulogist with shyness,
But compliment me with a pension,
And fine things which I need not mention;

82

For Canto Fourth, of this my poem,
Read by his Mightiness, will show him,
He has a friend expert enough in
The democratick art of puffing.
But please his Highness-ship, I wont
Be Deputy to Mr. Hunt—
No, were it offer'd 'twould be vain, he
Wont catch me in Louisiana.
 

A very judicious encomiast on the “greatest man in America,” in an elegant puff, published, and republished in almost every democratic Newspaper in the United States, has among other dashing matters, drawn a flaming comparison between Messrs. Jefferson and Jupiter. These two deities seem to share the universe between them, and to hurl about their thunder and lightning at an astonishing rate. Perhaps there never was a comparison, which, as rhetoricians express themselves, went more completely on all fours, than this to which we allude. We think, however, that our Mr. Jupiter jun. whenever he condescends to put on the terrible, is much the most august of these two personages.

Butler, speaking, doubtless of a demagogue, says that he was,

------ for profound
And solid lying much renown'd.

A man may lie not only with impunity but with applause, provided his falshoods have a tendency to further the views of the hypocritical demagogues of the day. See note 12, p. 8. vol. 1.

Although we have not yet received official intelligence of this most extraordinary phenomenon, yet, the silence which Mr. Jefferson has of late observed on the subject of this stupendous curiosity, warrants the conclusion which we here take the liberty to draw, of its absolute fusion.

It is a fact well known to every one in the least conversant in the history of the French Revolution, that religious homage, with a great number of blasphemous ceremonies was rendered by the chief actors in that scene of desolation to a common harlot. The object of their adoration was tricked out with characteristic tawdriness, and personated Reason at that time the idol of those atrocious infidels.

We have ever greatly admired the wonderful political pliancy of some of our clerical characters, in supporting with so much ardour, a man who has ever been hostile to the christian religion. But these gentlemen no doubt suppose, that the reports of Mr. Jefferson's infidelity are all federal lies. We will however furnish them with a few facts and arguments with which the federalists fortify their assertions, not doubting in the least that these candid and learned divines will contrive to muster arguments to prove, that Mr. Jefferson is a very pious and orthodox sort of a man; and though perhaps they would not go so far as to assert with a certain itinerant holder-forth in Massachusetts, that Mr. Jefferson is the sixth angel mentioned in the revelation, yet, they will probably maintain, that he has as much political piety as Oliver Cromwell, of genuine republican memory.

Mr. Jefferson's invitation to Tom Paine, has somewhat the appearance of no great regard to religion. But doubtless it was supposed, that the claims of the latter as a politician were such, as to entitle him to the very extraordinary attention of the former, especially, as Paine had written a letter against General Washington, an opponent to Mr. Jefferson's party, which teemed with the most unqualified abuse.

Mr. Jefferson says, in his Notes on Virginia, “It does me no injury for my neighbour to say, there are twenty Gods, or no God; it neither picks my pocket, nor breaks my leg; if it be said, his testimony in a court of justice cannot be relied on, reject it then, and be the stigma on him;” and speaking of the state of religion in Pennsylvania and New-York, he says, “religion there is well supported, of different kinds indeed, but all good enough; all sufficient to preserve peace and order.”

Now, although federal clergymen might be induced to adopt the language of Mr. Smith, and exclaim, “which ought we to be most shocked at, the levity or impiety of these remarks?” yet, democratic clergymen will, if they would be consistent, declare all this to be a federal lie, and that those passages in the Notes on Virginia which we have quoted, are federal interpolations, intended to traduce the fair fame of the “greatest man in America.”

But there is an astonishing charge lately made by a writer in the United States Gazette, that demands a refutation, which we, although the professed eulogist of Mr. Jefferson, are sorry to confess, are unable to furnish; but we hope our fellow-labourers in the vineyard of democracy will supply us weapons, wherewith to knock down this impudent adversary of our immortal chieftain.

“The most gentle temper,” says this anti-Jeffersonian scribbler, “may be urged until it becomes impatient, and this, I confess, was the case with myself, when on the road between Baltimore and Philadelphia, I heard a minister of the gospel declare, that the report of Mr. Jefferson's infidelity was “a Federal lie.” To counteract an imputation so ungenerous and unjust, and for the information of those, who are not so entirely hoodwinked as not to see any thing, however obvious and palpable it may appear, I have thought proper to subjoin the following statement, and if Mr. Jefferson will deny its truth, he shall be immediately informed of the name of the person who made it.

“B. Hawkins Esq. (don't start Mr. Jefferson) once a member of congress, and now high in trust and presidential favour, wrote a pamphlet in vindication of the doctrines of the Illuminati, and among others, of the doctrines of chance and materialism. He sent one copy of this pamphlet, yet in manuscript, to Mr. Jefferson, and another copy to Mr. Macon, speaker of the house of representatives. I say he sent those copies, and I ask Mr. Jefferson to deny it.

“Mr. Jefferson, in order to elude the curiosity of the Post-Office, sent him an answer in LATIN, in which he has recourse to that unintelligible slang which marks his public messages, but in which he does unequivocally express his approbation of every sentiment contained in the work, and does request Mr. Hawkins to cause it to be published, in order to enlighten the minds of the people of America. I say he did send this letter, and I beseech the President to deny it. The answer of Mr. Macon was not in latin; Mr. Macon does not write latin.”

This impudent federalist, who thus slanders the chief magistrate of a christian country, certainly deserves to be indicted, and not allowed to give the truth in evidence.

Some of our good democrats, as it behoveth them, have strenously denied the fact of Mr. Jefferson's masterly retreat from Charlottesville to Carter's Mountain. Now, although we propose to proceed at least to the end of the Canto, stating “false facts” in favour of the subject of our present eulogy, yet we propose to lie with somewhat more caution than Mr. Jefferson's advocates have generally done. We therefore will state what some of the wicked federalists have asserted, and leave it to some of our fellow-labourers in the vineyard of democracy, to lie down such opposition.

Mr. Smith of South Carolina, in his impudent pamphlet, to which we have referred before (see pages 105 and 110, vol. 1.) has the following allegations against Mr. Jefferson:

“Mr. Jefferson has generally sacrificed the civil rights of his countrymen to his own personal safety. We are told in a public address, by Mr. Charles Simms, of Virginia, who must have been well acquainted with the circumstances, “that Mr. Jefferson, when governor of Virginia, abandoned the trust with which he was charged, at the moment of an invasion by the enemy, by which, great confusion, loss and distress, accrued to the state, in the destruction of public records and vouchers for general expenditures.

“Now, here was a period of public danger, when Mr. Jefferson's attachment to the civil rights of his countrymen, might have shone very conspicuously, by facing and averting the danger; here would have been a fine opportunity for him to have displayed his public spirit, in bravely rallying round the standard of liberty and civil rights; but, though in times of safety, he could rally round the standard of his friend, Tom Paine, yet, when real danger appeared, the governor of the ancient dominion dwindled into the poor, timid philosopher; and instead of rallying his brave countrymen, he fled for safety from a few light-horsemen, and shamefully abandoned his trust.

There is likewise one Thomas Turner, Esq. of Virginia, a gentleman of very respectable character, &c. &c. but we are somewhat apprehensive that he is a federalist, and as such, in our capacity of Eulogist to Mr. Jefferson, we shall most assuredly take the liberty to be very severe upon him, for stating the following most abominable TRUTHS (for, “the greater the truth, the greater the libel”) against Mr. Jefferson.

“At the time Petersburgh was occupied by the British troops, under command of Generals Philips and Arnold, Mr. Jefferson, who was then governor of the state, did participate in the partial consternation excited by the situation of the British army, and did abandon the seat of government, at a period, and with an awkward precipitation, indicative of timidity, unwarranted by any immediate movement of the enemy, and forbidden by a regard to those duties, which belong to the station he held. This fact is well recollected, and can be proved by many of the oldest and most respectable inhabitants of the city of Richmond, and I believe would not be denied by the candid supporters of Mr. Jefferson himself.

“The sequel of his conduct, after the assembly returned to Charlottesville, and on the approach of Colonel Tarleton, to that place, stands attested by thousands of witnesses, and can never be forgotten by those of his countrymen, who respect the character of a firm and virtuous public officer, and who abhor that of the dastardly traitor to the trust reposed in him. His retreat, or rather his flight from Monticello, on the information that Tarleton had penetrated the country, and was advancing to Charlottesville, was effected with such hurried abruptness, as to produce a fall from his horse, and a dislocation of the shoulder. In this situation he proceeded about sixty miles south, to the country of Bedford, whence he forwarded his resignation to the assembly (who had in the mean time removed to Staunton, and) who thereupon elected General Nelson governor. The circumstances are substantially and literally true; nay, the abdication of the government must be a matter of record.”

Mr. Leven Powell, of Virginia, also states, in his public address, “That when Tarleton, with a few lighthorse, pursued the assembly to Charlottesvile, Mr. Jefferson discovered such a want of firmness, as shewed he was not fit to fill the first executive office; for, instead of using his talents, in directing the necessary operations of defence, he quitted his government by resigning HIS OFFICE; this too, at a time which tried men's souls; at a time when the affairs of America stood in doubtful suspense, and required the exertions of all.” The Governor of Virginia, during the invasion of the state, by a small British force, instead of defending the commonwealth at that alarming juncture, voluntarily and suddenly surrendered his office, and at a crisis, his country was required to choose another Governor! Is there any security he would not act in like manner again, in like circumstances?

This charge has been attempted to be got rid of, by producing a vote of the assembly of Virginia, after an inquiry into his conduct, acknowledging his ability and integrity, are altogether silent on his want of firmness, which had been the cause of his flight.

“It was natural for his friends in the assembly to varnish over this business as well as they could; and the danger being past, there being no prospect of his being again exposed in that station, and his flight proceeding not from any criminality, but from a constitutional weakness of nerves, it was no diffcult matter to get such a vote from the assembly; more especially, as the character of the state was no less implicated in the business than that of the governor.”

The very respectable editor of the Aurora, as well as his compeers; Mr. Richie of the Richmond Enquirer, Mr. Paine and other democratic writers, have shown wonderful adroitness in parrying the thrusts which have been made at Mr. Jefferson's character. Some have said that the accusations, provided they were all true, amounted to nothing. Others have undertaken to prove the whole a parcel of federal lies. But the Aurora-man has attacked the character of Mr. Turner, in order to invalidate his testimony with so much vigour, that the same Mr. Turner will never be able to show his head among honest men. He has told a comical, and, what is wonderful, in part, a true story, how one Tom Turner stole a cloak from a member of congress from Virginia. But the editor of the Evening Post has spoiled the whole, by the following explanation:

“The truth is, the cloak in question belonged to Mr. William Hillhouse, member of congress from Connecticut, and it was taken from him by one Mr. Thomas Turner, or as Duane has it, Tom Turner; but Tom Turner, instead of the repectable Virginia planter, who wrote the letter to Dr. Park, was a man of the same name, who belonged to the Philosophical Society of Philadelphia, of which Mr. Jefferson was President; and what is more, he was like pillory-Nichols, of Boston, and Callender, one of Mr. Jefferson's confidential CORRESPONDENTS.”

This line contains, we think, what Edmund Burke would call “high matter.” Indeed, we are far from being positive, that we are not in this place somewhat beyond our own comprehension; an error of which, we are the more apprehensive, as we have observed it to be a common fault among those writers who advocate democratic politics. We think, therefore, that it will be most judicious for us to leave it to our commentators to decide, whether, by the term Sally, we mean an attack upon an enemy, or dalliance with a friend.

The preponderance which Virginia has already obtained in the scale of representation, will enable her to proceed to increase the privileges of her black population. In this she will be governed by the strict rules of republican propriety, which always consults the greatest good of the greatest number.

This is a duty, which has been proposed, and probably will at some future period, be adopted in the southern states, to prevent the importation of slaves. It is surprising, that, among all the calculations which have distinguished our penny-saving administration, this pleasant scheme has not been adopted more generally. But a word to the wise will not be thrown away. Our southern nabobs will improve on this hint: sable nabobbesses will be all the rage; and establishments for the manufacturing of slaves, will be as common as those for gin or whiskey.

In the Mercury, a democratic newspaper, was re-published from the National Intelligencer, a paper, under the immediate patronage of Mr. Jefferson, a precious paragraph, prettily prefaced as follows:

“THOUGHTS ON THE TRUE PATH TO NATIONAL GLORY.”

“The course of events will likewise inevitably lead to a mixture of the whites and blacks; and as the former are about five times as numerous as the latter, the blacks will ultimately be merged in the whites. This, indeed, appears to be the great provision made by nature, and, viewing the subject in its political aspects, we cannot feel too much satisfaction at there being an ultimate issue, however remote, independent of the exertions of statesmen, which, notwithstanding its repugnance to our reason, as well as prejudice, will arrive.”

No doubt, Mr. Mercury-man!—a most happy expedient truly!—“notwithstanding its repugnance to our reason”!—And what mortal can sufficiently admire thy wonderful magnanimity, O thou! the GREAT MAN, whom we are humbly attempting to eulogize, in the being one of the first to put in practice this philantrophic plan, by virtue of which, “the blacks will ultimately be merged in the whites.”!

What say you, O ye fair daughters of Columbia! (we mean the white ones) will ye be pleased with a hymeneal lottery, for the purposes aforesaid, in which every fifth lady-adventurer shall draw the delectable prize of a black paramour?

But as this notable scheme is of democratic origin, it would be the heighth of impudence for your old-fashioned, un-philosophical federalists, to interfere in the least. No—the benefits which may result from ths motley mixture, and scheme aforesaid, ought to be shared exclusively among genuine democrats. Those alone will be found worthy to walk in

“THE TRUE PATH TO NATIONAL GLORY.”

To prove what a prodigiously benevolent sort of a gentleman we have taken the liberty to eulogize; and to furnish our readers with a most delightful specimen of close, accurate, and invincible logic, we will oblige them with some extracts of a letter from Mr. Jefferson to Sir John Sinclair, President of the Board of Agriculture at London, dated March 23, 1798, but lately republished in the democratic papers, by way of applauding the passive obedience and non-resistance measures of our creeping administration.

“I am fixed with awe (says our Chieftain) at the mighty conflict, in which two great nations are advancing, and recoil with horror at the ferociousness of man. Will nations never devise a more rational umpire of differences than that of force? Are there no means of coercing injustice, more gratifying to our nature, than a waste of the blood of thousands, and the labour of millions of our fellow-creatures? We see numerous societies of men (the aboriginals of this country) living together without the acknowledgment of either laws or magistracy, yet they live in peace among themselves, and acts of violence and injury are as rare in their societies as in nations which keep the sword of the law in perpetual activity. Public reproach, a refusal of common offices, interdiction of the commerce and comforts of society are found as essential as the coarser instrument of force. Nations like these individuals stand towards each other only in the relations of natural right. Might they not like them be peaceably punished for violence and wrong?” &c. &c.

Now let us look at, and of course, as in duty bound, admire this stream of humanity issuing from the fountain of philanthropy. What a sublime idea is that of providing a “rational umpire of differences” between warring nations who shall “coerce injustice” by “means gratifying to our nature,” and teach them to

------ feel “the halter draw,
With good opinion of the law.”

And because a parcel of American savages, sparsely scattered over immense wilds, “live without the acknowledgment of either laws or magistracy, in peace among themselves,” &c. how very logically follows the ergo the populous, ambitious, and powerful nations of the old world may be ruled by Mr. Jefferson's notions of “the relations of right,” and warring empires, as well as hostile individuals be peaceably punished by “public reproach, a refusal of common offices,” &c.

Now were we not absolutely and bona fide determined to be Mr. Jefferson's advocate, we should first pick a quarrel with his premises, and then proceed to knock down his conclusions. We should say that the aboriginals of this country have their Chiefs, who have the authority of magistrates; that they are far from always living at peace among themselves, but murder is among others, a common crime, and sometimes a whole tribe is extinguished in cold blooded revenge of accidental homicide; that their wars are as bloody as those of civilized nations, and that they generally torture and put their prisoners to death, with fiend-like malice and ingenuity.

All this indeed might be said by Mr. Jefferson's opponents. But we would by no means be guilty of such an ill-advised attack on such fine practical philosophy, and recommend to this great philanthropist, and his sagacious adherents to rely altogether on the perfectibility of human nature, and the probability of nations submitting to be peaceably punished without any force, in some way gratifying to our nature. And therefore we would have them set about destroying the remains of our navy, army, forts, arsenals, &c. &c. so that it may not be possible for us to engage in any of those “mighty conflicts,” which cause Mr. Jefferson such excess of trepidation.

We cannot but observe, that Mr. Jefferson's being so terribly terrified at the thoughts of shedding human blood, even in a “mighty conflict,” is a total departure from the principles of his sect of philosophers. The illuminati in general, and Mr. Godwin in particular, have no scruples of that sort.

See Note 53. p. 76. Vol. I.

This mode of subduing the refractory was probably invented by Mr. Gallatin, who in his whiskey insurrection concern, was chairman of a committee of insurgents, who resolved to have no intercourse nor dealings with the officers of government, to “withdraw from them every assistance, and withhold all the comforts of life,” &c.

Here we shall be obliged, once more, to be severe on the before-mentioned Thomas Turner, Esq. for having the temerity to tattle slander against the man, whom good democrats delight to honour.

“The father of Colonel John Walker (says this man, who thinks he can “tell truth and shame the devil”) was the guardian of Mr. Jefferson, and advanced a part of those funds, which were applied to the education of the latter; an education affording those talents, which have been so strangely perverted, which have been insidiously employed in the conception of schemes, foul, ungrateful, horrible. At a very early period of their lives, Colonel Walker and Mr. Jefferson contracted an attachment which grew up with their years and ripened into the closest intimacy. —Their professsions were mutual; their confidence unbounded. While things were in this situation, Mr. Jefferson was meditating the unnatural purpose of seducing the wife of his best friend, and to this end (taking advantage of the confidence of Colonel Walker, and availing himself of the timidity of the lady, whose affection for her husband prevented the disclosure of a transaction, which might lead to an exposure of his life) devoted himself for ten years, repeatedly and assiduously making attempts, which were as repeatedly, and with horror repelled. For ten years was this purpose pursued, and at last abandoned (as he himself acknowledges) from the inflexible virtue of the lady, and followed (as he also acknowledges) by the deepest and most heart-wounding remorse.”

All this I have seen: not in newspapers; not in extracts; not in copies of letters.—I have seen it in the original correspondence between Messrs. Walker and Jefferson, every letter of which bears the signature of the writer, or has been since acknowledged by him, under his own hand. In this correspondence Mr. Jefferson repeatedly and fervently confesses that the guilt is all his own; the innocence all Mrs. Walker's; and that he shall never cease to revere, and attest the purity of her character, and deprecate his unpardonable and unsuccessful attempt to destroy her. His contrition, his misery, are asserted in the warmest terms, and his acquittal of Mrs. Walker pronounced in the strongest language of his pen. Among other concessions he owns, that in order to cover the real cause of the separation between Colonel Walker and himself, he did FABRICATE a NOTE respecting an unsettled account which he said had produced the schism, and which he expressly acknowledges HAD NO FOUNDATION IN TRUTH. Let it not be forgotten that the attempts against the honour of Mrs. Walker were carried on during the life time of Mrs. Jefferson, than whom a better woman and better wife never existed.”

And must the head of a great nation, the idol of a free people, and the patron of Tom Paine, be lacerated and scarified in this manner? Surely not with impunity, for lo, Tom Paine hath taken up the gauntlet in his defence! and now it behoveth all who would not choose to be buried alive in the filth of obloquy, to sneak out of the scrape of opposition to Mr. Jefferson, with all possible celerity. The letter of Mr. Turner, says the author of the Age of Reason, and the enemy of Washington, and the friend of Mr. Jefferson, is a “putrid production,” but “having nothing else to do” he has “thrown away an hour or two,” in “examining its component parts.” Mr. Turner and Mr. Hurlburt, (the latter is the gentleman, who distinguished himself by a famous speech in the Legislature of Massachusetts, in the laudable attack made by the minority of that body on the liberty of the press) he politely stiles “two skunks who stink in concert.” This is succeeded by other arguments at least as convincing, and as delicately expressed, but somewhat too “lengthy” for insertion.

The reader will please to observe, that this remorse of Mr. Jefferson, so unworthy a philosophist, took place before his illumination.

C. C.

We have heard it reported by some vilifier of Mr. Jefferson, that he endeavoured to induce Mrs. Walker to compliance with his wishes, by putting in her way certain sentimental treatises, said to be proper on such occasions.

For some further illustration of this delectable doctrine, we would refer our reader to p. 57, Note 45. Vol. I.

The Boston Chronicle, and we believe many other democratic papers, declared that the report of Mr. Jefferson's having invited Paine to return to this country, was a falsehood of federal fabrication, invented on purpose to slander Mr. Jefferson. But, when Paine published the letter, with that accommodating versatility, which is no doubt absolutely necessary for the support of their party, they applauded the President for that very measure. The letter itself is couched in terms highly respectful, and is highly honorary to both parties in the correspondence. The following are extracts:

“Dear Sir,

“Your letters of Oct. 1st, 4th, 6th, 16th, came duly to hand, and the papers which they covered were, according to your permission, published in the newspapers, and under your own name. These papers contain precisely our principles, and I hope they will be generally recognised here.

“You expressed a wish to get a passage to this country in a public vessel. Mr. Dawson is charged with orders to the captain of the Maryland to receive and accommodate you back, if you can be ready to depart at such a short warning.

“That you may long live to continue your useful labours, and to reap the reward in the thankfulness of nations, is my sincere prayer. Accept assurances of my high esteem and affectionate attachment.”

Paine has given us a specimen, in one of his letters to the citizens of the United States, of the success of his labours in the cause of liberty in that genuine republican country. Robespierre seized him, together with many other eminent patriots, and imprisoned him eleven months, proposed to requite his revolutionary services with the guillotine. The downfal of the tyrant, however, prevented this termination to Paine's political labour, and the arch Infidel has come, not to infect this country with the poison of his seditious and blasphemous publication, but, as Mr. Jefferson says, to “continue his useful labours among us.”

But it somehow unfortunately happens, that Tom Paine's merits are not fully appreciated by certain of Mr. Jefferson's admirers. In a newspaper entitled the Freeman's Journal, established under the auspices of Governor M'Kean & Co. at Philadelphia, we find Mr. Tom Paine's quondam friends attacking him in a most merciless manner. We will give a short paragraph as a specimen of the unmerited abuse which is lavished on this almost a martyr, in the cause of licentiousness and infidelity.

“Had this polluted monster remained in France, he would have conferred a particular favour on this country. Infamous and execrated, he might have “gone to his own place,” unheeded and unregarded, like any other outcast from society. But, as if the measure of his iniquity was not yet full, this foe to God and man has come hither to plague us.”

But let Mr. Tom Paine never seem to mind a little quid abuse, for he has received “assurances of” Mr. Jefferson's “high esteem and affectionate attachment.”

A specimen or two of delicate invective, taken from Paine's letter to George Washington, President of the United States, dated Paris, July 30th, 1796, and printed by Benjamin Franklin Bache, the worthy predecessor of William Duane, the present editor of the Aurora, will doubtless very much oblige our good democratic readers and show what a well qualified champion Mr. Jefferson has enlisted in his defence.

“I declare myself opposed to almost the whole of your administration; for I know it to be deceitful, if not even perfidious.”

“Injustice was acted under pretence of faith; and the Chief of the army became the patron of the fraud.”

“Meanness and ingratitude have nothing equivocal in their character. There is not a trait in them that renders them doubtful. They are so original vices, that they are generated in the dung of other vices, and crawl into existence with the filth upon their back. The fugitives have found protection in you, and the levee room is the place of their rendezvous.”

“The character which Mr. Washington has attempted to act in the world, is a sort of non-describable, camelion coloured thing, called prudence.”

“As to you, Sir, treacherous in private friendship, and a hypocrite in public life, the world will be puzzled to decide whether you are an apostate, or an impostor; whether you have abandoned good principles, or whether you ever had any,” &c. &c.

Mr. Jefferson's writings, both political and philosophical, have been so often the subject of the very just encomiums of his party, and have on the contrary been so often bandied to and fro as the footballs of federal raillery, that it would be difficult to excite public attention to a critical canvass of their merits. His pretensions to meritorious authorship appear to be founded, principally on his “Notes of Virginia,” a work which few village schoolmasters could not have executed better. We will however compare some of his tenets as displayed in that work, with some later productions of the distinguished author, for the purpose of showing his consistency as a politician.

Speaking of the population of America, Mr. Jefferson remarks, that “the present desire of America is to produce rapid population, by as great importation of foreigners as possible. But is this founded in good policy? Are there no inconveniences to be thrown into the scale against the advantage to be expected from a multiplication of numbers, by the importation of foreigners? It is for the happiness of those united in society to harmonize as much as possible in matters which they must of necessity transact together. Civil government being the sole object of forming societies, its administration must be conducted by common consent. Every species of government has its specific principles: Ours, perhaps, are more peculiar than those of any other in the universe. It is a composition of the first principles of the English Constitution with others, derived from natural right and reason. To these nothing can be more opposed than the maxims of absolute monarchies. Yet from such we are to expect the greatest number of emigrants. They will bring with them the principles of the government they leave, imbibed in their early youth; or if able to throw them off, it will be an exchange for an unbounded licentiousness, passing as usual from one extreme to another. It would be a miracle were they to stop precisely at the point of temperate liberty. Their principles with their language they will transmit to their children. In proportion to their numbers, they will share with us in the legislation. They will infuse into it their spirit, warp and bias its direction, and render it a heterogeneous, incoherent, distracted mass. I may appeal to experience, during the present contest, for a verification of these conjectures; but if they be not certain in the event, are they not possible, are they not probable? Is it not safer to wait with patience for the attainment of any degree of population desired or expected? May not our government be more homogeneous, more peaceable, more durable? Suppose twenty millions of republican Americans, thrown all of a sudden into France, what would be the condition of that kingdom? If it would be more turbulent, less happy, less strong; we may believe that the addition of half a million of foreigners, to our present number, would produce a similar effect here.”

Now for the display of that convenient versatility, which is one of the most essential characteristics of a great statesman. In the President's message of December, 1801, we are told that “a denial of citizenship under a residence of 14 years, is a denial to a great proportion of those who ask it, and controls a policy pursued from the first settlement, by many of these states, and still believed of consequence to their prosperity. And shall we refuse to the unhappy fugitives from distress that hospitality, which the savages of the wilderness extended to our fathers arriving in this land? Shall oppressed humanity find no assylum on this globe? Might not the general character and capabilities of a citizen be safely communicated to every one manifesting a bona fide purpose of embarking his life and fortune permanently with us?”

In the Notes on Virginia we also learn, “That the political economists of Europe have established it as a principle, that every state should manufacture for itself: and the principle like many others we transfer to America, without calculating the different circumstances, which should often produce a different result. In Europe, the lands are either cultivated, or locked up against the cultivation. Manufacture must, therefore, be resorted to of necessity, not of choice, to support the surplus of their people. But we have an immensity of land, courting the industry of the husbandman. Is it best, then, that all our citizens should be employed in its improvement, or, that one half should be called off from that, to exercise manufacture and handicrafts for the other? Those who labour in the earth are the chosen people of God, if ever he had a chosen people; whose breasts he has made the peculiar deposit for substantial and genuine virtue.—It is the focus in which he keeps alive that sacred fire, which otherwise might escape from the earth. Corruption of morals in the mass of cultivators is a phenomenon of which no age nor nation has furnished an example. It is the mark set on those who, not looking up to heaven, to their own soil and to industry, as does the husbandman, for their subsistence, depend for it on the casualties and caprice of customers. Dependence begets subservience and venality; suffocates the germ of virtue, and prepares fit tools for the designs of ambition. This, the natural progress and consequence of the arts has sometimes perhaps been retarded by accidental circumstances: but generally speaking, the proportion which the aggregate of the other classes of the citizens bears, in any state, to that of its husbandmen, is the proportion of its unsound to its healthy parts, and is a good enough barometer, whereby to measure its degree of corruption. While we have land to labour let us never wish to see our citizens occupied at a work-bench or twirling a distaff. Carpenters and smiths are wanting in husbandry: but for the general operation of manufacture, let our workshops remain in Europe. It is better to carry provisions and materials to workmen there, than bring them to the provisions and materials, and with them their manners and principles. The loss, by the transportation of commodities across the atlantic will be made up in happiness and permanence of government. The mobs of great cities add just so much to the support of pure government, as sores do to the strength of the human body.”

The above was written in 1782. In the year 1793, Mr. Jefferson, then Secretary of State, having occasion to fall out with Great Britain, in a report relative to commercial restrictions of other nations, and the measures which the United States ought to pursue to counteract them, recommends the imposition of heavy duties, or excluding such foreign manufactures as we take in greatest quantities, for “Such duties (he observes) having the effect of indirect encouragement to domestic manufactures of the same kind may, induce the manufacturer to come himself into these States; and here it would be in the power of the State governments to cooperate essentially, by opening the resources of encouragement which are under their controul, extending them liberally to artists in those particular branches of manufactures for which their soil, climate, population, and other circumstances have matured them, and fostering the precious efforts and progress of household manufacture, by some patronage suited to the nature of its objects, guided by the local information they possess, and guarded against abuse by their presence and attention. The oppressions on our agriculture in foreign parts would thus be made the occasion of relieving it from a dependence on the councils and conduct of others, and promoting arts, manufactures and population at home.”

Mr. Jefferson's Message contained the first proposition for an attack on the judiciary, and he is well known to have gone hand in hand with his estimable party, in the courageous and successful inroad made on the aristocratic constitution of the United States, by putting down the federal judges by the dozen. That in this respect he has made great improvements in the theory of liberty, since writing his Notes on Virginia, will abundantly appear from the following quotation from that work, so highly celebrated by the admirers of genuine freedom.

Speaking of the government of Virginia, he remarks, that “All the powers of government, legislative, executive and judiciary, result to the legislative body. The concentrating these in the same hands is precisely the definition of despotic government. It will be no alleviation that these powers will be exercised by a plurality of hands, and not by a single one. One hundred and twenty-three despots would surely be as oppressive as one. Let those who doubt it turn their eyes to the republic of Venice. As little will it avail us that they are chosen by ourselves. An elective despotism was not the government we fought for; but one which should not only be founded on free principles, but in which the powers of government should be so divided and balanced among several bodies of magistracy, as that no one should transcend their legal limits without being effectually checked and restrained by the others. For this reason, that convention which passed the ordinance of government, laid its foundation on this basis, that the legislative, executive and judiciary departments should be separate and distinct, so that no person should exercise the powers of more than one of them at the same time. But no barrier was provided between these several powers. The judiciary and executive members were left dependent on the legislative for their subsistence in office, and some of them for their continuance in it. If therefore, the legislature assumes executive and judiciary powers, no opposition is likely to be made, nor if made, can be effectual; because in that case they may put their proceedings into the form of an act of assembly, which will render them obligatory on the other branches. They have accordingly, in many instances, decided rights which should have been left to judiciary controversy; and the direction of the executive, during the whole time of their session, is becoming habitual and familiar.”

See Notes on Virginia, Query xii.

One more specimen of Mr. Jefferson's openness to conviction, and the facility with which he relinquishes an error of opinion the moment he discovers it, we shall furnish from his philosophical disquisition on the colour and other properties of negroes. Our philosopher, after stating certain modes by which the evil of slavery in Virginia might be annihilated, such as that the black slaves “should continue with their parents to a certain age, then be brought up, at the public expense, to tillage, arts or sciences, according to their geniusses, till the females should be eighteen, and the males twenty-one years of age, when they should be colonized to such place, as the circumstances of the time should render most proper sending vessels at the same time to the other parts of the world for an equal number of white inhabitants,” proceeds with the following profound observation: “It will probably be asked, why not retain and incorporate the blacks in this state? I answer, deep-rooted prejudices entertained by the whites, ten thousand recollections by the blacks of the injuries they have sustained, new provocations, the real distinction which nature has made, and many other circumstances, will divide us into parties, and produce convulsions, which will never end but in the extermination of the one or the other race. To these objections, which are political, may be added others, which are physical and moral. The first difference which strikes us, is that of colour; whether the black of the negro resides in the reticular membrane, between the skin and the scarf-skin, or in the skin itself; whether it proceeds from the colour of the blood, or the colour of the bile, or from that of some other secretion, the difference is fixed in nature, and is as real as if its seat and cause were better known to us. And is this difference of no importance? Is it not the foundation of a greater or less share of beauty in the two races? Are not the fine mixture of red and white, the expressions of every passion, by the greater or less suffusion of colour in the one, preferable to the eternal monotony, which reigns in the countenances of the other race? Add to these, flowing hair, a more elegant symmetry of form, their own judgment in favour of the whites, declared by their preference of them, as uniformly as is the preference of the ourang-outang for the black women over those of his own species. Besides those of colour, figure, and hair, there are other physical distinctions proving a different race; they have less hair on the face and body; they secrete less by the kidnies, and more by the glands of the skin, which gives them a very strong and disagreeable odour.”

“They are in reason much inferior to the whites. It is not against experience to suppose, that different species of the same genus, or varieties of the same species may possess different qualifications. Will not a lover of natural history, then, one who views the gradations in all the races of animals, with the eye of philosophy, excuse an effort to keep those in the department of man as distinct as nature has formed them.”

He afterwards observes, “that the improvement of the blacks in body and mind, in the first instance of their mixture with the whites, is observed by every one, and proves that their inferiority is not the effect merely of their condition in life. Among the Romans, their slaves were often their rarest artists; they excelled too in science, insomuch as to be employed as tutors to their masters' children. Epictetus, Terence and Phoedrus, were slaves; but they were of the race of whites. It is not their condition, then, but NATURE, which has produced the distinction.”

Mr. Jefferson doubtless wrote these observations previous to his having obtained an intimate acquaintance with the good qualities of the blacks. But some subsequent investigations, could not but lead a man of his penetration, to reject any pre-conceived opinion, unfavorable to this “race of animals.” And instead of keeping those in the department of man as distinct as possible, he now not only maintains, that the “true path to national glory,” leads to a mixture of the whites and blacks, (See note 11, p. 22, Vol. II.) but has condescended to add example to precept, to teach us by his own experiments the soundness of his philosophy.

It is probable that the new light, which he obtained by the only true mode of philosophising, led him to the candid confessions contained in a congratulatory letter to his worthy and learned brother, Benjamin Banneker, said to be, the author of an almanack, &c. In this last production, he declared in the teeth of his former theory, that “he rejoiced to find that Nature had given to his black brethren talents equal to those of other colours, and that the appearance of a want of them, was owing merely to the degraded condition of their existence, both in Africa and America.”

There is a philosopher of pliability for you! none of your rigid personages who will remain obstinate in error against the light of reason, and his own and other men's experiments. This whirling to the left about, in consequence of the wonderful phenomenon of a Negro Almanack, (probably enough made by a white man) was as masterly a manœuvre, in a political, as the retreat to Carter's mountain, in a military point of view.

Mr. Jefferson's report on weights and measures has been highly celebrated by his party, but the mischief making Federalists have made many unmerciful strictures on its defects. To show with what kind of logick Mr. Jefferson, has been assailed we shall again have recourse to the pamphlet of Mr. Smith, in which Mr. Jefferson and his pretensions are so roughly handled.

Mr. Jefferson was required “to report to the House a proper plan for establishing uniformity in the currency of weights and measures of the United States.”

“The object of a plain, sensible man, more anxious to render solid services to the country, than to acquire reputation by a pedantick display of science, would naturally have been, to ascertain the existing currency, weights and measures in the United States, and to establish such a standard, as would be most conformable to the general use, and attended with the least innovation and distress.

“In respect to uniformity in measures, nothing more would have been requisite than to have proposed that some determined standard should be made and lodged in some public depository, to which access might be had, when necessary.

“Instead of this, Mr. Jefferson proposes a system, which professes extreme minuteness, precision and accuracy, and yet, when examined, is found to leave every thing to the skill and accuracy of a Watchmaker; a system, depending on criteria, which he considered as important, and yet, which are not defined in such manner as to admit of an application of them.

“He begins the report with observing, “that there exists not in nature a single subject, or species of subject accessible to man, which permits one constant and uniform dimension.” The causes of this variation of dimension are stated to be expansion and contraction, occasioned by change of temperature. Iron is stated to be the least expansible of metals, and the degree of expansion of a pendulum of 58. 7, inches is said to be from 200 to 300 parts of an inch.

Mr. Jefferson, however, says, “that the globe of the earth might be considered as invariable in all its dimensions, and that its circumference would furnish an invariable measure.” But if a small portion of the least expansible metal, iron, is so affected by temperature, how can it be true, that the globe would furnish an invariable measure? Is not the whole earth, composed as it is of various elements, all more expansible than iron, liable to be affected by changes of temperature? Are not different sides of the earth presented to the sun, at different seasons of the year? Is not the whole globe nearer to the sun in some parts of its orbit, than at others? Is it not, of course, more susceptible of heat, and more affected by attraction, both of which operate to affect the dimensions of our globe? Is it likely that earth, water, and other elements, are so equally distributed through our globe, as that the degrees of expansion and contraction, occasioned by changes of seasons, exactly counter-balance each other? Was it not known to Mr. Jefferson, that no two of the great circles of our globe are of equal circumference, and that this rendered his position, at least doubtful?

“Mr. Jefferson says, “that no one circle of the globe is accessible to admeasurement in all its parts, and that the trials to measure portions have been of such various result, as to shew that there is no dependence on that operation for certainty. If this be true, what were the data upon which it was asserted, that the whole circumference would furnish an invariable measure? The French philosophers now say the contrary, and they have lately actually taken a section of the earth for their standard. Who is to decide between these doctors, or are they all aiming to puzzle plain people, by an affectation of accuracy, which is unattainable?

“Mr. Jefferson's standard is “a uniform cylindrical rod of iron, of such length, as in latitude 45 degrees, in the level of the ocean, and in a cellar or other place, the temperature of which does not vary throughout the year, shall perform its vibrations, in small and equal arcs, in one second of mean time.”

“The degree of 45 degrees is assumed, because it was proposed by France, and because it was the northern boundary of the United States. He says, “let the completion of the 45 degrees then give the standard for our union, with the hope, he facetiously adds, that it may become a line of union, with the rest of the world;” a pleasant conceit! it was kind in this profound philosopher to emerge from the depth of his experimental cellar, to enliven this scientific and abstruse subject with a pun.

“But our philosopher's hope of a line of union with the rest of the world is already defeated; the French, have, since his report, taken a section of a meridional line for their standard . Their pendulum for 45 degrees is to vibrate 100,000 seconds, while Mr. Jefferson's is vibrating 86,400.

“The French have outdone even Mr. Jefferson in innovation; thus illusory has the expectation proved, that the hobby-horse of one philosopher will be respected by another.

“But why this attempt at absolute accuracy? He admits that the pendulum of 45 degrees differs from the pendulum of 31 degrees, only 1–679 part of its whole length, and that this difference is so minute that it might be neglected, as insensible for the common purposes of life. There was some reason for the attempt beyond a display of learning, or there was not; if perfect exactness was desirable, why where the following causes of uncertainty and error unnoticed?

“1st. The experiment, he says, must be made in the level of the ocean, to prevent that increment to the radius of the earth and consequent diminution of the length of the pendulum, which a higher situation would produce: what is the level of the ocean? the tide rises in 45 degrees about fifteen feet, and there are levels of the ocean at high-water, low-water, and at all points between these extremes. Perfect exactness required that the expression, level of the ocean, should have been defined: this omission has since been rectified in a bill which passed the House of Representatives last session.

“2d. The experiment, says the report, must be made in a cellar or other place, the temperature of which does not vary throughout the year. This is important, or it is not: if important, why not define the temperature, that it might be ascertained by a thermometer. There are few or no natural caves or cellars, in which the temperature does no vary: variations are frequently noticed in the deepest caves and mines: various causes may affect the temperature: Mr. Jefferson admits this, in his Notes, p. 21, where he allows that “chymical agents may produce in subterraneous cavities, a factitious heat;” and these may more or less, affect the temperature in most caves or cellars.

“The pendulum is, however, admitted by Mr. Jefferson, to be liable to uncertainties, for which he offers no remedies: how does it appear that these uncertainties are not more important than the causes of error, to which his attention has been directed?

“3d. Machinery (says the report, page 8,) and a power are necessary, which may exert a small but constant effort to renew the waste of motion, but so that they shall neither retard nor accelerate the vibrations.”

“But it adds, in the next page, “to estimate and obviate this difficulty is the artist's province.” What is this, but to say, that the standard of the United States shall be the pendulum of some clock, made by Mr. Leslie, or some other artist, thus discarding at once all reliance upon the principles before advanced. The difficulty of ascertaining the centre of oscillation, (which he admits to be impossible, unless in a rod, of which the diameter is “infinitely small,”) he thinks however can be obviated by Mr. Leslie, the watchmaker.

“Mr. Jefferson then proceeds to apply his standard,

“1st. To measures of capacity. These he proposes should be four-sided, with rectangular sides and bottom, for which he gives the following reasons: “cylindrical measures have the advantage of superior strength; but square ones have the greater advantage of enabling every one, who has a rule in his pocket, to verify their contents, by measuring them.” Did it not occur to this profound mathematician, that a man with a rule in his pocket, could as easily measure the diameter and depth of a cylindrical half bushel as the sides and depth of a square box?

“2d. To weights. The standard of weights is proposed to be a definite portion of rain water, weighed always in the same temperature. “It will be necessary, says he, to refer these weights to a determinate mass of substance, the specifick gravity of which is invariable; rain water is such a substance, and may be referred to every where, and through all time.” But the temperature is not defined; rain water is varied by several causes; dust, insects, &c. will create a difference in its weight. The French, in their late plan, have outdone Mr. Jefferson; their standard is distilled water, ascertained by a defined temperature.”

Such is the cruel manner in which the federal rogues cut up a genuine philosopher.

“Report, p. 3. “In order to avoid the uncertainties which respect the centre of oscillation, it has been proposed by Mr. Leslie, an ingenious artist of Philadelphia, to substitute for the pendulum, an uniform cylindrical rod, without a bob.”

Notwithstanding this friendly hope, the French have treated our philosopher very cavalierly, by altogether disregarding, in their late system, his learned labors. Though he was so ready to adopt whatever they proposed, they have not even condescended to take the least notice of his report. Even Fauchet, in his letter to the secretary of state, communicating the French standard of weights and measures, seems not to have even heard of the secretary's report; for he says, “France was the first to place those researches among the cares of government. America, if I mistake not, has since followed the example, for I think I have heard that the present government were engaging in the same changes, and even waited the result of the operation made in France on this subject, for the purpose of commencing their return.”

That bill directs, that “the experiments shall be made in the latitude of Philadelphia, at any place between the rivers Delaware and Schuylkill, at a known height above the level of common high water in the Delaware, and in a known temperature of the atmosphere, according to Farenheit's thermometer.

A part of Mr. Jefferson's report on weights and measures, was founded on ideas taken from a volume of the society of Arts and Agriculture, published in Europe. The fluxional calculations are the work of a Professor in Columbia College.

See the Minerva, a newspaper printed in New-York, of July, 1796.

There is a great affinity between that obliquity of intellect, which leads a man to think incorrectly, and that depravity of heart, which tends to immoral conduct. A wrong-headed enthusiast, who is addicted to an incorrect and whimsical mode of reasoning and thinking, may easily allay the qualms of conscience by the opiate of sophism, and even become what Godwin calls an “honest assassin.” Perhaps there have been but few crimes of magnitude committed, in which the perpetrators have not been able to persuade themselves, that they were justifiable, if not commendable. Religious, political and philosophical enthusiasm have, each in their turn, impelled mankind to deeds of horror, from which the most abandoned would revolt with abhorrence, if they did not believe that they were actuated by motives which are praise-worthy.

The dexterity with which our knight-errants in sedition reconcile their conduct to the dictates of their reason, is well exemplified by Butler, in the character of Hudibras, who thus justifies the breaking of his oath:

“He that imposes an oath makes it,
Not he that for convenience takes it;
Then how can any man be said
To break an oath he never made.”

But these being grave old-school reflections, it would be very improper to indulge them in a canto, set apart like this, for celebrating an illuminatus.

It is well known that Mr. Jefferson made a very pretty and suitable parade of grief at the tomb of General Washington. And as remarked by a poet in the Utica Patriot,

“A genuine tear from a genuine chief
Is a genuine proof of a genuine grief!”

The federal editor of the New-York Evening Post, in his aristocratical way thus remarks upon this subject:

“Will the reader once accompany us to the saddened groves of Mount-Vernon. Behold this same Thomas Jefferson at the tomb of Washington! See him approach the hallowed spot, surrounded by spectators!—he kneels before the sacred dust!—he weeps outright at the irreparable loss of this greatest, best, and most beloved of men!—sobs choak his utterance! he clasps his hands in token of pious resignation to the will of heaven, and retires in silence amidst the blessings of those whose sympathy he had beguiled by “presenting his profession of sorrow.”

Though the circumstance of Mr. Jefferson's having paid Callender for his services in abuse of the Federal Constitution, Washington, Adams, and many others of our revolutionary patriots, is proved by letters written with his own hand, yet democrats, with that laudable pertinacity, which is the soul of their party, would never believe a word about the matter.

“Convince some men against their will,
They're of the same opinion still.”

The intelligent and indefatigable editor of the Boston Repertory, makes the following plaint on the occasion:

“How often have we been stigmatised as infamous slanderers, for asserting that Mr. Jefferson patronised Callender in his virulent abuse of the Federal Constitution, Washington and Adams. It was a federal lie, and no democrat would yield credit to a circumstance, which, if true, would exhibit Mr. Jefferson in the blackest colours of political hypocrisy, and allied to that demon of slander, for the purpose of lying down his betters. We now offer irresistible proof—Mr. Jefferson's letters to Callender, in his own hand writing. One democrat, and one only, has called to satisfy himself!”

Now this is as it should be. Stick to your party, genuine republicans! right or wrong.

Our good democrats, with the greatest propriety, as it adds to their popularity, are always fond of uniting the names of Washington and Jefferson. That Mr. Jefferson was friendly to General Washington, and his administration, will appear from the following elegant extracts, taken from the “Prospect before Us,” at that time patronised and its specimen sheets inspected by Mr. Jefferson:

Speaking of General Washington, Mr. Jefferson's editor says, “He could not have committed a more pure and net violation of his oath to preserve the constitution, and of his official trust; or a grosser personal insult on the representatives.”

“By his own account, Mr. Washington was twice a TRAITOR. He first renounced the king of England, and thereafter the old confederation. His farewell paper contains a variety of mischievous sentiments.”

“Under the old confederation matters never were nor could have been conducted so wretchedly, as they actually are under the successive monarchs of Braintree and Mount Vernon.”

“Mr. Adams has only completed the scene of ignominy, which Mr. Washington had begun.”

“The republicans were extremely well satisfied at the demise of the general. They felt and feared his weight in the scale of aristocracy; but they found it necessary to save appearances with the multitude by presenting a profession of sorrow. It is a real farce to see the manner in which the citizens at large were treated, in this instance, by both parties. The second burial! But it is impossible to proceed with gravity; or to comprehend by what means Adams and congress kept from laughing in each other's faces, when they past their unanimous resolution to recommend the delivery of suitable orations, discourses and public prayers.”

Callender having thus handsomely handled Gen. Washington, attacks Mr. Adams in a manner equally masterly. But by further quotations we may perhaps, by the weight of our notes, break the peg of our poetry, and fall into the merciless fangs of the criticks. Good democrats, however, with their usual ingenuity, have attempted to wipe away every stain from Mr. Jefferson's immaculate character.

In the first place they contended that the report of Mr. Jefferson's having been concerned in the Prospect before us was a “federal lie.” Mr. Jefferson's letters however put them down on that point.

They then affirmed that Mr. Jefferson paid Callender one hundred dollars after having read the specimen sheets of “the Prospect” out of charity. Finding this ground untenable they pretend that Mr. Jefferson knew nothing of the contents. But it appeared that Mr. Jefferson paid Callender fifty dollars, in part, after Callender had been convicted of sedition for publishing “the Prospect,” and of course Mr. Jefferson must have been acquainted with the contents of the work, and that Mr. Jefferson moreover remitted Callender's fine of 200 dollars, when the contents of the Prospect had long been known.

The editor of the Boston Repertory declared that he was possessed of a paragraph in Mr. Jefferson's handwriting, which was incorporated with Mr. Jefferson's own slander in the body of the Prospect “without marks of quotation.” The Enquirer (a man hired to vindicate Mr. Jefferson) admits that Mr. Jefferson wrote a short and harmless paragraph and but one, in the whole book. Unfortunately, however, for Mr. Jefferson's advocate the paragraph which he acknowledges was written by Mr. Jefferson is totally different from that mentioned by the editor of the Repertory. But this Enquirer-man is doubtless well versed in what Cheetham calls the “arts of able editors.”

Genet was privately encouraged by Mr. Jefferson in his projects to prostrate America at the feet of France, but opposed officially in his capacity of Secretary of State. Genet complained that Mr. Jefferson had treacherously become the instrument of his recall, after having persuaded him that he was his friend, and initiated him into the mysteries of state. And declared “if I have shown my firmness (in opposing the President,) it is because it is not in my character to speak as many people do in one way and act in another, to have an official language and a language confidential.”

When Mr. Jefferson entered on the duties of his office as Vice-President he eulogised Mr. Adams, then President, in the following terms, “No man more sincerely prays that no accident may call me to the higher and more important functions; (the presidency) they have been justly confided to the eminent character, which has preceded me here, whose talents and integrity have been known and revered by me through a long course of years, and I devoutly pray he may be long preserved for the government, the happiness, and the prosperity of our common country.”

This was a masterly stroke of policy, more especially, when it is considered that Mr. Jefferson, at the time of uttering this solemn petition was employing his purse, pen and influence, in ruining the reputation, and destroying the influence of Mr. Adams.

Mr. Jefferson is one of the principal patrons of the Aurora, and was the institutor and patron of the National Gazette, which abounded with abuse against the federal administration, with Washington at its head.

Of thirty-four armed ships, our administration have sacrificed, at the shrine of economy (sold for one-fourth part of their cost) all but thirteen, and some of those which remain are rotting in philosophical dry docks. But economy is the order of the day, and a wasteful economy, is a contradiction in terms.

Depredations on our commerce are committed daily, by the Spaniards and other nations of Europe (Sept. 1805.) Mr. Jefferson however, has said, that “history bears witness to the fact, that a just nation is trusted at its bare word, when recourse is had to armaments and wars to bridle others.” It is to be lamented that these depredators should spoil the president's fine theory.

Moveat cornicula risum
Furtivis nudata coloribus,
Hor. “Stripp'd of their borrow'd plumes, these crows forlorn
Shall stand the laughter of the public scorn.”

The federalists are accused by their political opponents of having been sparing of their eulogies on the heroes who distinguished themselves at Tripoli. This, if true, evinces the folly and stupidiy of that party; for those men, who have been most distinguished by their exploits against those pirates, were federalists, and most of them commissioned by Washington and Adams.

To show to what an amount the impudence of some federal newspaper editors will carry them, we will make one or two extracts from remarks of the editor of the New-York Evening Post, on Mr. Jefferson's inaugural speech No. 2.

Mr. Jefferson, having reference to some tough libellous truths, which have appeared in the federal newspapers against him, observed in his speech, that “the artillery of the press has been levelled against us, charged with whatsoever its licentiousness could devise or dare,” and that “he who has time, renders a service to public morals and public tranquillity, in reforming these abuses by the salutary coercions of law.” Coleman, supposing, no doubt, that nobody could ever find “time” for attending to these “salutary coercions,” makes, perhaps very true, but very libellous remarks.

Mr. Jefferson in his speech had observed, “I fear not that motives of interest may lead me astray; I am sensible of no passion which could seduce me knowingly from the path of justice.” Mr. Coleman comments as follows: “He, who with the bribery of office has corrupted the integrity of the nation, has demoralized the American people for the purpose of personal aggrandizement, now boasts that no motives of interest can lead him astray. He, who in a publick address to the senate of the United States, solemnly declared that Mr. John Adams was an eminent character, whose talents and integrity had been long known and revered by him (Mr. Jefferson) through a long course of years, and had been the foundation of a cordial and uninterrupted friendship between them; and concluded with “devoutly (his own word) devoutly praying,” that the same Mr. Adams “might be long preserved for the government, the happiness, and prosperity of our common country,” went away and hired a mercenary rascal to make it his business to traduce this very Mr. Adams, in the most violent language that his invention could supply. Yes, he feasted his eyes with the perusal of the manuscript, in which the man with whom he had so long, as he told the senate, “maintained a cordial and uninterrupted friendship,” was spoken of as the lowest of wretches, where he was denominated the most execrable of SCOUNDRELS, the scourge, the scorn, the outcast of America, without abilities, and without virtue, and then returned it with the most unqualified approbation, saying, that “such papers could not fail to produce the best effect,” and as a part recompence, sent him an order for fifty dollars on account of previous work. Need any thing more be added? yes, one tale shall be added, and in very explicit language, so that if the Attorney General of the United States can “find time,” and Mr. Jefferson should still remain of opinion, after seeing the article, (and I know he honours the Evening Post with his perusal) that it will be rendering a “service to publick morals and publick tranquillity,” to resort to the “salutary coercion of law,” and prosecute the editor for a libel, matter may not be wanting on which to found the indictment. I only stipulate for the privilege of giving the truth in evidence. Then be it known, that he who now holds himself up to the world as a man incapable of being seduced by passion from the path of rectitude, stole to the chamber of his absent friend by night, and attempted to violate his bed. [OMITTED]

“As it generally happens, that when once the devil gets hold of a man he seldom lets him go with a single crime on his head, so this man, to the baseness of his first attempt, added a second. As a cover to the abrupt disconnection of intercourse that followed the disclosure of the secret to the husband, he told a base and slanderous lie, and said, that his intimacy with Mr. Walker had been broken off by Mr. Walker's unhandsome conduct in the settlement of an estate, which he had in charge; all which now stands on record, being very handsomely engrossed with his own hand. Now let Mr. Jefferson, if he pleases, call this a “false and defamatory publication,” and recommend a prosecution accordingly.”

What a daring fellow this, but nobody can “find time” to prosecute him. Moreover, Mr. Jefferson's vindicator in the “Richmond Enquirer,” has made this appear to be a very trivial affair, for he says,

If the tale of Mrs. Walker was rehearsed to a nation of Anchorites, they would smile at its absurdity; that an individual should be abused, censured, and threatened with exposure in the publick prints, for having, forty years since, felt an improper passion: at a time when youth, (exemption from matrimonial obligations,) and the force of feeling might be pleaded with justice!!!

The Essex Junto is one of the bugbears, with which the Boston Chronicle scribblers frighten the babes and old women of democracy. But this, like many other gun-powder plots against the peace and dignity of the sovereign people, is a phantom which they have conjured up for the purpose of deception. The men whom they would designate as an Essex Junto, are as much interested in the preservation of a Republican government, as any men in the community, and would, by the introduction of a Monarchical government, dig a pit for their own destruction.

So say the Federalists, but they are Monarchy-men notwithstanding, and wish to make John Adams king.

The curious system of Mr. Jefferson, for creating a naval force adequate to the defence of our commerce, by gun-boats, No's. 1, 2, &c. up, perhaps, to 5 or 6, is thus described in the New Year's Message, from the carriers of the Boston Palladium. Although gun-boat number one, as there exhibited, may appear to be somewhat too consequential to be introduced by way of comment on our political text, yet, as it appears to have some connection with our simile, we give it a place.

Have not our wise administration
Done certain wonders for the nation?
O yes—they've built us more than one boat,
In modern jargon call'd a Gun-Boat.
Yes;—they have built us—let me see,
Enough to make out nearly Three,
But one of those, O what a rare go,
March'd to a cornfield for a scare-crow!
Which show'd Miss Gun-Boat's calculation,
And that she knew her proper station!
O did her masters but know theirs,
L---d, how 'twould brighten our affairs.
Our Gun-Boats! themes of admiration
To every seaman in the nation,
The very essence, in reality,
Of vast philosophisticality!
One round half dozen, I've a notion,
Would carry terror through the ocean,
And eight or ten, in my opinion,
Would give us Neptune's whole dominion!
Should Britain come, with all her shipping,
Good L---d, we'd give her such a whipping,
She'd wish the navy of her island
Had been just nineteen leagues on dry land
Before she'd impudence to enter
On such a perilous adventure;
For Number One will sink her navy,
In half a second, to old Davy,
Then, as we wish her nothing but ill,
Her petty, paltry isle we'll scuttle,
And since 'tis time th' Old Nick had got 'em,
Send the whole nation to the bottom!
What mighty matters might be done,
For instance, Gun-Boat Number One,
From Washington descends in might,
With head and tail “chock full of fight!”
Abash'd, Potowmack hides his head;
Neptune, half petrifi'd with dread,
And awe, and admiration rapt in,
Resigns his chariot to the Captain.
Great Captain Buckskin; please to ride in't,
Terrific Sir, and here's my trident!
You cut a dash so big and mighty,
You've sadly frighten'd Amphitrite!
My sea-nymphs sure have lost their wits,
There's Thetis in hysterick fits!
Take my dominions, every foot,
O L---d! O L---d! but pray don't shoot!
Now gallant Number One, by chance,
Meets England's fleet combin'd with France,
Is soon prepar'd at both her ends,
Stand clear all rogues, except our Friends!
Now comes the fleet in line of battle,
The heaven's rebellowing cannons rattle,
Each smoke envelop'd grand first-rater,
Looks like the mouth of Ætna's crater.—
Pop! goes our gun, like Pluto's mortar,
Splash!—there they are—all under water!!!
Not quicker, struck by Jove's own thunder,
Did earth-born Titans erst knock under,
Than these when hit by their superiors,
From Gun-Boat, Number One's posteriors.
But were it true, as has been said,
By many a wicked muttering Fed,
That every Gun-Boat is a wherry,
Which might disgrace old Charon's ferry;
Still, when Sir Johnny Randolph's taught her,
She'll keep the peace in shallow water,
Strike rampant porpoises with awe,
And govern mackerel by law;
Dog-fishes, dolphins, if they've wit,
To our Sea-Mammoth will submit,
No grampus dare to stand a scratch,
And even a shark would find his match!

The wisdom of our democratick members of Congress was never more abundantly manifested, than in the affair of their condescending to remain silent, when they had nothing to say for themselves. There is, unquestionably, no small share of prudence and self-denial necessary, for an individual to curb that unruly member, the tongue. How great then must have been the prudence and resolution of our good democrats, in congress assembled, who, for the sake of expediting publick business, could sit mute, and endure to be pelted by arguments which they could not answer.

Mr. Dana's eulogy upon the “dumb legislature,” will remain a monumentum ævi of the wonderful wisdom which was manifested by the majority on that occasion.

See debates of congress, 1802.

This beautiful simile we have borrowed from Butler. That author applies it as descriptive of the democracy of the body natural of his hero, Hudibras; but we think it happily illustrative of the present organization of the body politick of our country. If the reader, however, better likes the following simile, from the same author, Butler, it is much at his service.

For as a fly that goes to bed,
Sleeps with his tail above his head,
So in this mongrel state of ours,
The rabble are the supreme powers.

The appointment of a Mr. Hunt to be governor of a district in Louisiana, exhibits wonderful proof of Mr. Jefferson's solicitude to reward merit, and long tried and faithful services. It is true, that this gentleman is yet a boy in years, to say nothing of his intellect; but his exertions in favor of Mr. Jefferson, have been to the full amount of—his abilities. Only those who are best acquainted with his excellency, governor Hunt, can appreciate the stupendous degree of discernment, which Mr. Jefferson has displayed in his appointment.


83

CANTO V.

THE GIBBET OF SATIRE.

ARGUMENT.

The Bard proceeds in an ungrateful
Task, which is, hangman-like, and hateful,
A gang of hypocrites t'expose,
And deeds of infamy disclose;
And on the rack of satire, stretches
A set of weak and wicked wretches,
Whose inauspicious domination
Portends destruction to the nation.
Ye Tories, Demos, Antifeds,
Of hollow hearts, and wooden heads,
In Washington's own estimation,
The curses of our Age and Nation.

84

Who and what are ye, Patriots stout,
For Freedom, who make such a rout?
Ye are, or should be, men, I'm sure,
Whose hands are clean, whose hearts are pure.
O yes! your purity so nice is,
The best among you have their prices;
Flour-Merchants, public defalcators,
Horse-Jockies, swindling Speculators.—

85

The scum—the scandal of the age,
A blot on human nature's page;
In these two epithets included,
Deluding knaves, and fools deluded.
Step forward now, and “hear affrighted,
The crimes of which ye stand indicted;”—
Now elevate your culprit paws,
While “We the People,” try your cause.

86

Step forth, Honestus, lank and lean,
With lantern jaws and haggard mien,
A wight, Lavater would decide,
Was Envy's self personified.
Sir, have you any thing to say
Of scrape fraternal with Genet?
And did you, if the truth were told,
E'er pocket any of his gold?
Does the arch Democrat inherit
A greater spleen against true merit?

87

And though Democracy he founded,
Is he by viler gangs surrounded?

88

Hast thou supported thy life long,
One measure not precisely wrong,

89

One single thing, when you your best did,
Whose usefulness by time is tested?
When did the tyrant Bonaparte,
E'er find an advocate more hearty?
Or one more ready to advance
The wildest whims of frantick France?

90

Are you the Jacobin of spirit,
Who first found out your own great merit,
And in political careering,
First practis'd self-electioneering?
How came you, modest Sir, to hit on
This horrid practice of Great Britain,
When you, as every body knows,
Are one of her determin'd foes?
Are you indeed the very man,
Who seem'd t' oppose the Funding Plan,
An hypocritical pretence
To pocket its emoluments?

91

Has it not been your constant aim,
The passions of the mob t' inflame;
Their jealousy and pride exciting
By flattery, falsehood, and backbiting?

92

Pray Sir, if one may be so bold,
How many lies may you have told,

93

Since you, and certain other knowing
Knaves, set the Chronicle a going?
Now, ere too late, begin repentance,
Before the people pass their sentence,
That they no longer will be bit
By such a shallow hypocrite.

94

For though you stride, without remorse,
Fell faction's hobbling hobby horse,

95

The jade may toss, by sudden flirt,
Your demagogue-ship in the dirt.
For freedom you may make a pother,
But 'twill be known, one time or other,
How oft the People's good is lost in
The greater good of Mr. ------
Step forward, “simple” Tony Pasquin,
In Presidential favour basking,

96

A very proper sort of crony,
For such a wight as Mr. Honé

97

I'm free to own, that I'm amaz'd,
Your heart deprav'd, your noddle craz'd,
That even our leaders of sedition,
Should use you for a politician.

98

Our Yankey-Statesmen put to school,
To such a sorry sort of tool,

99

Who can't write English if he dies,
Will, doubtless, turn out wondrous wise!
With such a dirty wretch as Tony,
Who but Honestus would be crony?
And what vile renegade but Tony,
Would be the intimate of Hone?

100

Your friends, the Feds, are much delighted
To see such noble souls united,
And when death threatens squally weather
They hope e'en then you'll, hang together!
Come forward, spitting Mathew Lyon,
Thy flaming wooden sword pray tie on,

101

Hold up thy head, man, don't be frighted,
A bolder warrior ne'er was knighted.
Great Hero of Ticonderogue,
So long as valour is in vogue,
Thy name and merits shall be shouted,
Nor once by infamy be scouted.
Thou shalt be held in more repute
Than fam'd Calig'la's Consul brute;

102

Or mighty Mammoth, prairie dog,
Or the best educated hog.

103

Duane and thou at loggerheads,
Make fine amusement for the Feds,

104

And all good men are overjoy'd,
To see such patriots thus employ'd.

105

And thou hast well contriv'd to win,
The heart of Goodman Gallatin,

106

And I've no doubt, but he would pleasure ye,
With all the money in the treasury.

107

'Tis said by some, O far fam'd Matt,
Although a noted Democrat,

108

Thou dost design to turn about,
And join the fallen Federal rout.

109

And wouldst thou condescend, my hearty,
To head the tertium-quid third party?

110

Demo's and Feds would all be merry,
Fell Discord's tomahawk to bury.

111

Thy dagger, form'd of toughest lath,
Would quell the rage of party wrath;
And, wav'd by thee like conjurer's wand,
Chase Discord's demon from the land.
Next on our list is Tony Haswell,
But he's so small a thing, that as well
Might giant bold assail musquitoe,
As we attack the puny creature.

112

Still as his party set him high,
For once, we'll condescend to try,
If we, by any possibility,
Can hit this essence of nihility.
But lest the reader think the topic
On which we treat, too microscopic,
We'll merely undertake to show,
Our gnat-ling in a note below.

113

The next great man that I can think on,
Is no less man than Lawyer Lincoln,
With whom compar'd, your Mansfields, Holts,
Are but a set of asses' colts.

114

Lord how my Muse and I should glory
To paint his matchless oratory,
For benefit of future times,
In ævi-monumentum rhymes.

115

But poets, critics, each a million,
And each a Homer or Quintillian,
With each a pen can't set forth fully,
The merits of our modern Tully.

116

Not e'en the facund Mr. Bangs
Can equal his sublime harangues,
When all his eloquence unmuzzling,
He untwists Jury cause so puzzling.
By help of statute, tome and code,
A pretty decent waggon load,
When Sugar Cause he had in hand, he
Had almost made it sugar candy.

117

With Common and un-Common Law,
In which no man could pick a flaw,

118

He did so learnedly begin,
'Twas thought his head was Lincoln's Inn.

119

First he advanc'd with hems! and hahs!
“May't please your honours, in this cause,
“With your good leave, I say, as how,
“My point the first, I'll open now:

120

“May't please the Court—I would say—hem.
“Fore Gad I'm in a fine dilemm'!—
“May't please the Court—your honours please,
“My arguments are simply these:
“Let my opponents do their worst,
“Still my first point is—point the first—
“Which fully proves my case, because
“All statute laws are—statute laws!!!

121

“That is to say—the matter's here,
“Since I have made this point so clear,
“In favour of my cause and client,
“Then our side's right, you may rely on't.
“I think this argument is pat
“In point, it therefore follows—that—;
“Good Lord, I wish I were a mile hence!”
Quoth Lincoln—but quoth Sheriff—“silence!”
Our Lawyer having found, I trow,
That point the first would hardly go,
Now stopp'd to cogitate a little.
To hit point second to a tittle.
Point first deliver'd, as you see, his
Head was not pregnant with ideas,
Therefore to put things in a train,
He sat down to conceive again.

122

For our great elocution's model.
Having discharg'd his loaded noddle,
Found that he must, let who would scoff,
E'en load again or not go off:
Now having charg'd, he rose and fir'd—
A word or two, which all admir'd,
Then for truce put in petition,
As he was out of amunition.
And after many a tug, he found
That point the second kept his ground,
With most provoking “oppugnation,”
To our great Lawyer's grand oration.
But tho he suffer'd sad defeat,
Friend Dallas cover'd his retreat,
And, luckily, by his assistance,
The enemy was kept at distance.
But I by no means would pronounce ill,
Of our great man, as chamber counsel,
Although some say he did not shine
In Callender's remitted fine.

123

Still his opinion's always good,
Provided this be understood,

124

That when you have it stated, nicely,
'Tis what it should not be, precisely.
In fine, I think his honour's law-mill,
Should go by water, like a saw-mill,
For that his only chance, I trust, is
To chance to do his clients justice.
But surely never man shone brighter,
Than our said lawyer as a writer,

125

Not even Honestus can write better
Than I've seen many a “Farmer's” letter.

126

'Tis true, he has not much pretence
To grammar, reason, common sense;

127

What then? his language is sonorous,
And, “We the People,” forms the chorus.
What though he flirts about and flounces,
From falsehood into nonsense bounces,
He works for our good like a dray horse,
Or satan journeying through Chaos.
Sure such an Ovid in a Murray,
Wont be forgotten in a hurry,

128

Whose every word contains an adage,
Meant to reform a bold and bad age.
We next will stretch on satire's rack,
A callous wretch in faded black,
A nuisance in our “happy land,”
A sort of junior Talleyrand.
Democracy has not a rogue,
Amongst her dashers now in vogue,
A single Jacobin, or scarce one
More mischievous than this said Parson.
'Twere well had he been hung, before he
Began to print th' Observatory,

129

Which would have sav'd an inundation
Of lies, which overspread the nation.

130

For this same Jacobin high flyer,
Is such a Satan of a liar,

131

He lies through habit, strange to tell,
Even when the truth would do as well:

132

His every paragraph's invented
To make the people discontented,

133

To raise the restless mob, and shove 'em,
To pull down all that seems above 'em.

134

And he has been at work to plaster
His grand illuminated master,
But time would fail to set forth how well
He daubs it on, as with a trowel.
At length the rogue has drawn a prize,
An office, earn'd by peddling lies,
But this said office is at most,
An exile to a western post.

135

We have the honor next to pin
On Satire's Gibbet, Gallatin,
(Our Gibbet not his only one,
If Justice always had been done.)

136

For that th' imported Financier,
Deserves such destiny, is clear;
Nor shall the rogue, by any fetch,
Escape us, as he did Jack Ketch.

137

But no! our moderate Feds say “tut!
“The man deserves some notice—but
“The truth, though quoted from the Bible,
“Against such great men, is a libel.”
You, Gentlemen, may think, perhaps,
That you are mighty prudent chaps,
But know, good Sirs, as these times are,
The heighth of prudence, is—to dare.
Go, timid Lilliputian souls,
Whom such a vile old saw controuls,
Go, hide your carcases in caves,
Or sit ye down, contented slaves.

138

But I'll make, with your worship's leave, a
Slap at this great man from Geneva,
Who worm'd his way to elevation,
And holds the purse-strings of the nation!
'Tis true, this gaunt Genevan, whilome,
Found this our land, a rogue's “asylum,”
Since which, in public matters, his chief
Delight has been in making mischief.
Was soon an imp of insurrection,
A very Jack Cade to perfection,
And seized the horns of Mercy's altar,
To save his gullet from a halter!
In faction's cause alert and brisk, he
Was once a champion in the whiskey
Rebellion .... therefore was among
The rogues whom Justice might have hung.
And had her Ladyship foreseen
His future management, I ween,

139

In her strong noose she'd made his neck fast,
As cheerfully as eat'n her breakfast.
By Washington, this rebel, pardon'd,
In wickedness grew still more harden'd,
His industry and cunning bent
To overturn the government.
To Congress sent, in evil hour,
To head the party now in power;
When mischief was a-foot, 'twas certain
This arch rogue was behind the curtain.
And oft he would the Feds surprise,
By artful, well, digested lies,
Wire-drawn, thro' many a long harangue,
With all the art of all the gang.
But, whereas, in these happy times,
A wretch is qualified by crimes
And scoundrel cunning for high station,
He holds the purse-strings of the nation!!!

140

Well, if no sages of our own
Can give our Government a tone,
Let us submissively receive a
Set, fresh from Ireland, France, Geneva.
Let us in Congress hear with patience,
The worthless scum of foreign nations,
Threaten in vile outlandish squeal,
To stop of Government “de veel!”
Though many a foolish Demo. fancies,
This man's the soul of our finances;
That we have not a single native
Can rival this imported caitiff.
Pray, tell me, what the wight has done
But simply copy Hamilton;
Such plodding imitative work
Might be performed by any Clerk.
Thus a poor wretch, with scarcely brains
Enough to walk in when it rains,
May whirl an organ handle round,
And make it all so sweetly sound.

141

But should the lubber of a Vandal
Pretend he had the skill of Handel,
The very mob would find him out,
And hoot him for a lying lout.
But let us grant, in mere civility,
That Gallatin has vast ability,
And in finance, yields not a whit,
To Sully, Hamilton, or Pitt,
'Tis neither politic nor just,
A foreign runaway to trust,
A treacherous and intriguing pest
As keeper of the public chest.
Indeed I'll bet you ten to one, he,
(His fortune made with Yankies' money)

142

Without a drawback, will reship,
And give his silly gulls the slip.
Then, should we sink in Anarch's sea,
Would this Genevan care? Not he,
Provided he can save himself,
Together with his ill got pelf.
Step forward, Demagogue Duane,
Than whom, a viler rogue in grain
Ne'er, fortified by mob alliance,
Durst bid the powers which be, defiance.
Law, Order, Talents, and Civility,
To thy right worshipful mobility
Must bow, whilst thou, their knowing man,
Lead'st by the nose, thy kindred clan.

143

Thou art, indeed, a rogue as sly,
As ever coin'd the ready lie,

144

And, on emergence, art not loth
Thy lies to sanction with an oath.

145

Few good or great men can be nam'd
Thy scoundrelship has not defam'd,
And scarce a rogue, who ought to hang,
But may be number'd in thy gang.
With impudence the most consummate,
You publish all that you can come at,
To make, for discord's sake, a handle
Of private anecdote and scandal.

146

Your rogue-ship's object seems to be
On “Liberty's tempestuous sea,”
To set our Commonwealth afloat,
Sans rudder, in an open boat.
'Twould ask some folios to unfold
The various lies which thou hast told,
Publish'd with matchless impudence,
In face of thine own documents.

147

Among the Catalines of faction,
None call more energies in action,
And, if not check'd in thy career,
Thou'lt make a second Roberspierre.

148

And thou, audacious renegadoe,
With many a libellous bravadoe,
Assail'dst Columbia's Godlike son,
The great, th' immortal Washington!

149

Through patriotism's specious mask, all
Your own gang could discern the rascal,
But tertium quids, quoth spitting Matt,
Esteem'd you none the less for that.

150

Thus the Arch Fiend, the prince of lies,
Assumes, at will, an Angel's guise,
But with a Seraph's borrow'd mien
The cloven-foot is always seen.
Though hunted through so many climes,
A very prodigy of crimes,
Your friends, the quids, still love you dearly,
And spitting Matt is yours sincerely.
Dost thou remember much about a
Droll scrape of thine once, at Calcutta,
What time, invited to a breakfast,
In noose thou nigh hadst got thy neck fast.

151

Sir John, however, on the whole,
Was wrong to set thee on a pole,
For such a patriot ought to ride
Suspended from the under side.
We next beg liberty to handle,
Another vile, imported Vandal,
A Hatter, who, by intuition,
Is a most wond'rous politician!

152

But highly merits being hung
For murdering—the English tongue,
Though that's among the smallest sins
Committed by our Jacobins.

153

To honesty he's no more claim
Than Satan to a Christian name;
Is no more bound in honour's fetters,
Than if he stole and open'd letters.

154

Sometimes quite demon-like he swaggers,
And threatens sleeping men—WITH DAGGERS!
The very next breath, to be sure,
No man has principles so pure.
And this is renegadoe Jim,
A patriot of the Godwin trim,
A useful tool in party strife,
A wicked, faction's butcher knife.
This man, the tale might well surprise one,
Deals out a daily dose of poison,

155

Most deleterious, and design'd
To operate on the public mind.
The drivel of his dirty brains,
(And Demo's pay him for his pains)
Spins from his jobbernowl, and then
Displays it in the “Citizen.”
For that is what he calls the paper,
Where he and faction huff and vapour,
But 'tis a sink of defamation,
A slaughter-house of reputation.
If it should suit his matter's “gestion,”
We'll put Sir Daggerman a question
Or two, that he may shew how fair
A character, some folks should bear.
Pray Jim. didst ever know a man
Who join'd a certain wicked clan,
That in their revels, every night,
Against the bible, aim'd their spite?
And as that fellow, it appears,
Still keeps possession of his ears,

156

Pray Sir, did Justice merely loan 'em
Or does he absolutely own them?
And, prithee give me leave to ask it,
Was't in a dirty, old clothes' basket,
(Come! come! no quibbling, what a' ye 'fraid of)
Like Sir John Falstaff, that he made off?
Some say 'twas in a hatter's chest,
But I'm assur'd that you know best,
If that's the case, man, no denial,
Let's have the whole truth on this trial.
Did my informant tell me fibs,
Of Constables, and broken ribs?
A man knock'd down, who strove to quiet
A certain scoundrel in the riot.
Supposing half these things were true
Of some “imported rogue,” like you,
Should not the vilest partizan
Be quite ashamed of such a man?

157

And can it be, this side the Atlantic
A faction now exists, so frantic,
They hire a wretch to print their papers,
Who is notorious for such capers?
Go, get your bread some honest way,
You can make decent hats, they say,
Go, and thank God you yet abide
Your former domicile's outside.
Pray, reader, how dost like this show,
Of three exotics in a row,
Duane, and Gallatin, and Cheetham,
Dost think a score of fiends could beat 'em?
O! what a dirty, dirty faction!
What dirty tools they keep in action!

158

Worse than the rogues they offer daily
At shrine of Justice at Old Baily!
Let each Columbian hide his face,
And blush to own his native place,
If such a vile imported band
Must govern our degraded land.
But now the Muse of Satire bids
Us glance at certain Tertium Quids,
Who've run their skiff almost aground,
But lately tack'd for coming round.
Pray, how goes on your caterwaulling
With certain gemman of your calling,
With whom y'embark'd, in wondrous glee,
On “Liberty's empestuous sea”?

159

Indeed, good Messrs. Quids, I think,
Unless you ply your pumps, you'll sink,
And, though I'm very loth to say't,
You almost merit such a fate.
But may you only almost drown,
Or, if you're hang, be soon cut down,
And never feel afflictions' rod
With greater force than Doctor Dodd.
'Twas you, who first afforded aid
To Duane in his lying trade,
But now he strives to take you all in,
You thwart him in his civil calling!—
Had principle enough to hire
Him, for an ex officio liar,

160

Knowing, for so old Matthew tells,
The man was good for nothing else.
Now, since you are the sine qua non
Of all the evils you complain on,
It would be Justice to a title,
To let such patriots swing—a little.
But as you have some claims to merit,
Have fought the Demagogue with spirit,
For that, and sure no other reason,
I'd cut your honours down in season.
Adversity's the best of schools,
For teaching vain men, Wisdom's rules,
And when you've suffer'd most severely,
You'll see your former folly clearly.
Thus Neb'chadnezzar was an ass
Until they turn'd him out to grass,
And Trumbull's Mack, in air suspended,
Found that his intellect was mended.

161

Dear Democrats, now tell me, pray do,
How many a Tory renegadoe,
You've rais'd, by crooked politics,
Above the Whigs of seventy-six.

162

Yet, inconsistent, lying prigs,
You call yourselves exclusive Whigs,
And oft, with other vicious stories,
Proclaim the Federalists old Tories!
First comes, the should-be hung, Tench Coxe,
A Jeffersonian orthodox,
Who gain'd immensity of glory
In the capacity of Tory.
Although, my fine sir, it was thy lot
To be the British army's pilot,
And lead Howe's myrmidons of thunder,
Your Countrymen to rob and plunder;
Since Jefferson began his reign,
The Democratic smoothing-plane,
In spite of all your Tory tricks, sir,
Has chang'd you to a seventy-sixer.

163

Although for treason erst attainted,
Thou'rt now politically sainted;
Become a very proper man,
For Emperor Jeff' a partizan.
Good Democrats reward you now
For services you render'd Howe,
And feast you with the daintiest dishes
Of Governmental loaves and fishes.
Three thousand dollars, every year;
Three thousand precious dollars clear!
The rogues from labour's hard hand wrench,
To fill the purse of Tory Tench!
Next on our list is tory Daniel,
And though I would not treat the man ill,

164

In name of Justice, common sense,
To office, what is his pretence?
How dare the fellow have the face
To crowd himself in Watson's place,
To batten thus on merit's spoils,
And reap the fruit of glory's toils?
O! he's a thrifty sort of save-all,
Has wond'rous skill in matters naval,
Writes letters too, which would not sully
The reputation of old Tully.

165

And there's a Mister Consul Erving,
Who is so wondrous well deserving,
That sure his present elevation
Reflects high honour on the nation.
He kindled to our great man's glory,
That brilliant blaze of oratory,
Which gave him nineteen times the odds
Of Homer's stoutest heathen Gods.

166

And dealt in thunder and in light'ning,
And cut a dash so very fright'ning,
And did the horrible such credit,
That our teeth chatter'd when we read it!
He is, indeed, a pretty chip
From Tory block, a kindred slip
A cion from a certain famous
Old Tory Counsellor Mandamus.
A Mister Mansfield takes the place
Of General Putnam, in disgrace,
A warrior whig, O what a scandal!
Supplanted by a tory Vandal.

167

And one old Edgar stands confest
A Democrat among the best;
What fits him nicely for such rank, he's
Accessory to scalping Yankies.

168

This fine old fellow found the Savages
With implements for making ravages,
Guns, Tomahawks, and Scalping Knives,
For us, our Children, and our Wives.
Not only these, but well I wist,
Thousands might help to swell the list
Of vile old tories, fierce and flaming,
Now democratic honors claiming.
I might include with other lumber,
Judge Stevens, Wilson, and a number
Of such a Harrison and Warner,
For faith they swarm in every corner.

169

Might swell our catalogue with various
Like idiotic Arcularius,
But cannot stoop in our progression,
To pick up every dirty Hessian.
But though democracy now glories
In such a wondrous gang of tories,

170

With many fools, its knaves contrive,
To pass for whigs of seventy-five.

171

They pile their own abominations,
Enough to damn a dozen nations,
All on the simple harmless heads
Of passive inoffensive Feds.
Deprive them first of bread to eat,
And then their conquest to complete;
They hire the scum of foreign nations,
To blast their victims' reputations.
Tho' Burnet “fought in freedom's cause,”
He's doom'd to Cheetham's Harpy claws,

172

And Spencer, having put down Foot,
Murders his character to boot.
'Tis thus some canibals, 'tis said,
Still spite their enemies, though dead;
And worse, if possible than Cheetham,
Can't be contented till they eat them!

173

Here reader, is a pretty sample
Of rogues for “negative example.”
Cull'd from among some score of dozens
You'd think th' arch Democrats first cousins.
To this vile crew there might be added
Full many a hollow heart and bad head,
And some for infamy as famous,
As any history can name us.
Among the rest, fanatic preachers,
Your self-inspir'd, and self-taught teachers,

174

Whose piety, so dark and mystical,
Is Godward zealous, manward—twistical.

175

Creatures, who creep into your houses
Just to regenerate your spouses,

176

With whom the spirit's operation,
Tends to a carnal termination.

177

Your New-York Democratic chickens,
Might make us most delightful pickings,
A very pretty little brood!
For Satire's muse most charming food!
We may, perhaps, hereafter hint on
The management of D. W. Clinton
And, though the populace may stare,
May gibbet an intriguing Mayor.
If he and party must have pimps
From Palmer's and from Tom Pain's imps,

178

'Twill prove they're base birds of a feather,
Whose necks should all be stretch'd together.
We might allude to money made
By virtue of a Governor's trade,
Might tell the world what kind of barter
Sometimes obtain'd a grant or charter.
Might cut down bankers, rank and file, and
Hang rogues by hundreds in Rhode-Island,
Your patriotic Guinea-men—or
Folks always drunk like Govr F—r.

179

But worlds of folios were too few
To set forth half the crazy crew,
Of sharping knaves, and simple flats,
Who constitute good Democrats.
Besides, for credit of our nation,
We cease a while our “oppugnation,”
With these few gibbeted, 'tis best,
Perhaps to respite all the rest.
Some Democrats we meant to tickle,
(And still preserve a rod in pickle,)
May yet escape, upon condition
Of quick repentance, and contrition.
But those most harden'd we'll exhibit,
On this, or something like this, gibbet,
Hope yet to hang them every one,
A thing which ought, and shall be done.
 

General Washington expressed this idea in his letter to Mr. Carrol. See note 145, p. 168, Vol. I.

Citizen Fauchet of glorious memory, in his intercepted letter, (which caused the dismission of citizen Randolph, also of glorious memory, the virtuous author of “Precious Confessions”) has the following passage: “Mr. Randolph came to see me with an air of great eagerness, and made the overtures of which I gave you an account in my No. 6.—Thus, with some thousands of dollars, the Republic of France could have decided on CIVIL WAR, or on peace! Thus the consciences of the pretended patriots of America, have already their prices! What will be the old age of this government, if it is thus early decrepid!”

See Phocion's Pamphlet.

The “Precious Confessions,” of Pseudo-Patriot Randolph, are too well known to require any elucidation in this place. Mr. Randolph, however, is not the only pretended good republican, who has been a public defalcator.

We speak of the leaders of the Faction. There are, undoubtedly, a great number of honest Democrats, who have been led away by the Faction, to whom this line is not applicable. If a man has no better means of political information, than the Jacobin Newspapers throughout the union, he can be no other than a Democrat, although he may be deficient neither in integrity nor discernment.

This Honestus is a well known scribbler in the Boston Chronicle, one of the most mischievous and malignant democratic Newspapers in the United States. We should say nothing of the man's phiz, did we not believe it to be indicative of the qualities of his mind.

By adverting to Mr. Honestus's writings, with the signature of “Old South,” &c. we shall perceive that his demagogue-ship has spirted his venom at many of the most distinguished characters in the union. He has attacked the clergy in a most insidious manner, and some of his essays are better calculated to do mischief with a certain class in society, than if they were better written; as they are addressed to the prejudices and weaknesses of the lowest classes in the community.

He is constantly criminating the clergy for interfering in politics. The “People (he says, p. 218, of his volume of Chronicle Essays) are willing to hear gospel truths, though they may be displeased with political heresy.” And pray what is this political heresy? Opposing the man with “no God or twenty Gods.” Again, p. 220 of the same volume: “If the apostles had acted as some of our modern clergy do, they would have ruined, in the first outset, the whole system of revelation!” Mr. Jefferson has here an advocate worthy of himself!

I think I can in no way express the reasons why the clergy ought to exert themselves in opposition to Mr. Jefferson, more forcibly than by presenting my readers with the following extract from remarks on the Thanksgiving Sermon of Mr. Parish, by the Editor of the Boston Repertory.

“It is true, the President of the United States, and the clergy of our country are at variance; but the controversy is not on subjects of politics, on forms of government, or measures of administration. The clergy have not “quit their proper character, to assume what does not belong to them.” It is their misfortune to live in an age, when a man is promoted to the chief magistracy of the nation, who has wantonly assaulted the religion of our fathers, and treated those doctrines with contempt, which christianity teaches us are essential to human felicity. It is Mr. Jefferson who has left the character of the civilian, who has sported with the principles of our religion, and no alternative is left for the watchmen of the christian faith, but to retreat before his baleful influence, and apostatize from the injunctions of their divine teacher, or to step forth like faithful soldiers, and repel the scoffs, the sneers, and sophistry of the assailant. The elevated station of Mr. Jefferson, so far from imposing an obligation of silence, calls on the clergy for a more zealous exertion of their powers in defence of religion, in proportion as his writings are like to possess greater weight from his political ascendance.”

We do not pretend to give a history of Honé's private Jockey-club. Suffice it to say, that the nefarious renegade, Pasquin, is one of his privy counsellors, and he alone is a gang.

Since writing the above, Pasquin has relinquished the service of the Boston Chronicle, in which he and Honestus were Co-editors.

[Oct. 1805.]

This observation does not apply, exclusively, to the demagogue now under consideration. None of those measures, of which democrats have been such strenuous advocates, have been found of practical utility; and since they have been in power, they have copied the example of the federalists, except in certain measures, which are calculated to oppress the poorer people; such as repealing taxes on carriages, loaf-sugar, and other luxuries, and increasing them on salt, and other necessaries of life.

A review of the scrawl of this, and other Chronicle patriots, on the subject of the French revolution, ever recalls to memory, the following lines from Cowper:

“You roaring boys, who rave and fight
On t'other side th'Atlantick,
I always thought were in the right,
But most so, when most frantick.”

We believe Honestus is the personage who introduced in Massachusetts that appendage of British corruption, self-electioneering. He first mounted the hustings, Westminster-like, and told all the world what nobody knew before, that he was himself a very proper candidate for office, a friend to the people, &c.

Honestus was once a very strenuous opponent to the funding system. Now, forsooth, as Commissioner of Loans, he is pocketing the people's money, in consequence of holding an office, which is an appendage of the same once obnoxious system. What a pure patriot!!

We have but one simple apology to make for taking notice of “Old South,” alias “Honestus.” In this apology we beg leave to repeat a sentiment which we have before expressed, that the bite of an asp may be as fatal as the paw of a lion. Old South's writings would be esteemed by us as too insipid for animadversion, were they not calculated, by virtue of that same insipidity, to be very mischievous. He never soars above the level of the understanding of the lowest class of the community, and like a fanatical preacher, his essays are always addressed to the passions and the feelings of those men, whose passions and feelings are strong, but whose intellects are weak, and who are the soul of all those violent revolutions, which leave society worse than they found it.

Old South” is ever harping on the subject of the “BENEVOLENCE AND THE DIGNITY OF THE PEOPLE.” It would be very well to recommend those virtues, and to suppose that they do exist in a high degree in America, as this supposition may do something towards forming a NATIONAL CHARACTER among Americans, and lead to a high sense of honor and honesty, without which there can be no real freedom, or long continued national prosperity. But what conclusions does Mr. Old South draw from his premises under that head? That if the people were left destitute of restraints, by enjoying liberty without law, all would be “BENEVOLENCE and DIGNITY.” But the experience of all ages is against him. A purely democratick government would soon be a savage state.

Old South,” in a long essay on the subject of “the benevolence and dignity of the people,” produces one extraordinary instance of democratick insanity, in proof of his assertions: “As soon,” says he, “as peace was proclaimed between the two nations, (France and England) the people exercised their natural benevolence, and rushed forth like a torrent, to receive with open arms, the messenger of this joyful intelligence; the city of London resounded with “long live Bonaparte! long live the French nation! the horses were dismissed from the carriages, as being too slow in their progress, and the people became the promulgators of the glad tidings, by conducting the herald to the metropolis.”

Here is Hone's specimen of “BENEVOLENCE AND DIGNITY.” These biped coach-horses of Mr. Lauriston, exhibited much democratick dignity in their silly manœuvre of dragging this “herald of peace,” to St. James's palace. But what said those who knew something of this subject? That the peace was hollow, insincere on the side of Bonaparte, and that England must arm, and be on the alert, or submit to the domination of that unprincipled usurper.

This is an instance among a thousand, of Honé's inconsistencies. The man is wrong-headed; he has furnished his noddle with a jumble of facts and principles, but has not sufficient strength of intellect to digest, and draw proper conclusions from the things which come within the sphere of his knowledge. A “little learning,” with a great deficit of common sense, makes a man very mischievous in society.

See note 29. p. 21, Vol. I.

We are not fond of calling names, but it sometimes becomes necessary for a right understanding of things. That Mr. Honestus has endeavoured to make his patriotism a stepping-stone to power, is evident from his conduct, which has not been quite so equivocal as his professions.

Mr. Honestus pretends to rank himself with the patriots of 1775, and anathematizes all those who will not pronounce his Shibboleth, as old tories. But unless we are wrongly informed, this gentleman, during our revolutionary war, although perhaps not in a cave, sought an asylum in obscurity. He began, however, to fish in the troubled waters, which succeeded the revolution, about the time of Shays' insurrection, and has been ever since constant in his efforts to arm the passions against the intellect of the community, and set the physical, in battle array against the intellectual powers of society.

The motives of Honestus in such proceedings, are probably, similar to those of all other demagogues. Pride and ambition impel him to strive to be a great man. But nature having been somewhat niggardly with regard to those endowments, which, in regular governments, are thought necessary to qualify a man for office, Honestus has no other way of gratifying his leading propensity, than to excite confusion, in order to rise in the tumult. But, notwithstanding all his canting about his friendship to the people, we have never heard of his hesitating to pocket their money, even for services in those offices which he had stigmatised as burthensome and expensive. A fig for such a friend to the people!

“So have I seen with armed heel,
A wight bestride a common-weal,
While still the more he kick'd and spurr'd,
The less the sullen jade has stirr'd.”
Hudibras, Canto I.

This reptile, who is the right hand Chronicle-man, has been so pre-eminently infamous, that it appears there was put one step which the creature could take to complete the degradation of his character, to the lowest pitch of which human nature is capable. This step he has taken, by enlisting into the Chronicle service, and exerting himself to diffuse the poison of his principles among the poor deluded beings, who are so simple as to reap the effusions of his “jobbernowl.”

We shall not here attempt, what we once intended, a sketch of his biography, but merely state a few particulars, which will be evincive of the kind of talents, which are necessary to qualify a man for the eminent station of Editor of a democratic Newspaper.

In Tony's celebrated law-suit against Faulder and others, which has been published in the Repertory in this town, and which we remember to have seen in England, there appears such a developement of the infamy of this most detestable of all wretches, that one would not think it possible, that a human being, who possessed the least pretensions to respectability in society would be his associate.

I will not trouble the reader with any minute strictures on the character of this pitiful vagrant, but merely conclude this note with the concluding remark of Mr. Garrow, in the trial to which I have above referred, together with a statement of the result of the trial, in which this pure-hearted patriot sought recompense for having been calumniated.

“I see by your countenances, gentlemen, that it is unnecessary to proceed any further with this man's infamous and abominable productions. I will not, therefore, harrass your feelings; let them rest for the present—but I will appeal to your sense of propriety, to that of all who hear me, and ask, whether this common libeller, this vile traducer of honour and integrity, this hireling blaster of youth and innocence, should be suffered to come into this court, and ask satisfaction for being described under the character he has voluntarily and ostentatiously assumed? Should he, who has been proved before you to be the author of works, of which every line is calumny, sue for your protection, under the pretence that he is calumniated? Shall he say to you, gentlemen, I have been, from my youth up, earning a scandalous subsistence by vilifying my sovereign, insulting his august family, belying his ministers, traducing his courts of justice and subjects, from the highest to the lowest; give therefore, ample damages, because this dirty occupation is not sufficiently profitable?

“Shall he say, I have violated the ear of modesty in my writings, I have ridiculed the ordinances of our holy religion, I have blasphemed—”

Here some of the jury got up, and Lord Kenyon desired Mr. Garrow to stop, that more was evidently unnecessary.

He then said, that it was their duty to consider whether the author of such works as they heard read and described, had a right to call for damages.

“With what face (continued his lordship) can this fellow find fault with the publication of the defendant, when it appears that the passage here libelled, attaches to him merely as Anthony Pasquin, a name which he has prefixed to writings of the most infamous nature? It appears to me that the author of the Baviad, has acted a very meritorious part in exposing this man; and I most earnestly wish and hope that some method will, ere long, be fallen upon to prevent all such unprincipled and mercenary wretches from going about, unbridled in society to the great annoyance and disquietude of the public.”

The jury, without a moment's hesitation, nonsuited the plaintiff, and the audience “hissed him out of Court.”

Among other stupid productions of Tony, which were read on this occasion, was his Pin-Basket for the Children of Thespis. In this he thus speaks of the celebrated Edmund Burke:

—“And—Mun, with his mouthful of Christ!!” Horrid wretch!

We have good authority for asserting, that this fine writer, received a very handsome douceur from Mr. Jefferson, for his services in puffing the Notes on Virginia.

We have seen sundry specimens of Tony's “admired performances,” as he calls them, which were so stupidly wild, unmeaning, and unintelligible, that we have thought with Mr. Gifford, in a similar case, that nothing could match them short of a “transcript from the darkened walls of Bedlam.”

Mr. Garrow has justly said of Tony, that his English was as incorrect as his conduct.

This paltry scribbler, since the above was written, has quitted the Chronicle service, after grumbling a few anathema respecting the small encouragement afforded him in his labours in the cause of republicanism. What we have written, however, will serve to show what sort of beings constitute the best of democratick newspaper editors, and stand as a monument of infamy against the party in whose service such a notable advocate was retained; and in whose service he would, probably, have continued his meritorious exertions, had not the voice of publick contempt fairly hooted him from the scene of action.

A wooden sword is said to have been presented to this warrior, who is alike renowned in the cabinet and in the field, as a tribute of respect for having prudently retreated from a post, where it is not impossible he might have been killed or taken by the enemy, had he remained. General Gates, however, like an old aristocrat, ordered our Irish Fabius to be drummed out of camp for cowardice.

We are extremely solicitous to eulogise this wonderful warrior, and have even gone so far as to hammer out a song, in the prettiest stile imaginable, for no other purpose than to celebrate, and, if possible, to perpetuate the achievements of our Hibernian hero. Although we are not addicted to be very vociferous on the theme of our own praises, still we must beg leave to observe, that in our opinion, the following song has more delicacy, sweetness, sense, sensibility, &c. &c. than all the sonnets of Miss Charlotte Smith put together, and we recommend it to be sung by way of catch, glee, sonata, &c. &c. at all the meetings of good democrats, assembled in self-created constitutional societies, or midnight electioneering caucusses, ox-roasting junkets, &c. &c. &c.

THE DAGON OF DEMOCRACY, A BRAN NEW SONG.
[_]

[Tune—“O Cupid Forever.”]

O COME let us praise
In beautiful lays,
A wonderful idol of party,
And each Democrat,
Shall laud Mister Pat,
The Wooden Sword hero so hearty.
CHORUS
O then ye are lucky,
Good men of Kentucky,
To choose spitting Matt, for your idol;
Come frolic and caper,
By the blaze of his taper,
And sing, fol de rol, diddle di dol.
No Commandment you break,
Though an Idol you make,
Of the ugly, old Democrat, seeing
That nothing at all, Sirs,
Flies, walks, swims or crawls, Sirs,
In the likeness of such an odd being.
O then ye are lucky, &c.
'Tis said that he brags
How one pair of stags,
Erst paid for his passage from Europe;
But the price of a score,
Would scarce send him o'er,
And pay for his hangman a new rope!
O then ye are lucky, &c.
When our Independence
He strove to defend once,
Great Britain look'd blue at his wrath, Sirs!
But Gun-powder's smell,
Didn't suit him so well,
So he's knight of the dagger of Lath, Sirs.
O then ye are lucky, &c.
When once he was bor'd,
'Bout his fine wooden sword,
He show'd what resentment is fitting,
For the sturdy old Pat,
Like a rampant ram-cat,
Even vented his venom by spitting!
O then ye are lucky, &c.
To be sure he does right,
Is very polite,
Whenever affronted, to drive a
Great quid of tobacco,
In folk's faces, whack-o,
And porringers full of saliva!
O then ye are lucky, &c.
Though he did not budge ill,
To 'scape from the cudgel,
What time a fell Yankey beset him;
No doubt with the tongs,
He'd righted his wrongs
Provided the Yankey had let him!
O then ye are lucky, &c.
Although it be true,
That search the world through
No uglier beast can be found, Sirs!
Good L---d, what of that?
He's a fine Democrat;
And health to the brute shall go round, Sirs!
And O ye are lucky,
Good men of Kentucky,
To choose such a brute for your idol,
Come frolick and caper,
By the blaze of his taper,
And sing, fol de rol, diddle di dol.

‘Thereby hangs a tale.’

We mention this circumstance to shew that the price of the beast has risen. When he first landed in this country, he was sold to a Mr. Hugh Hanna, of Litchfield, in Connecticut, for a pair of steers.

This pair of paddies have lately attacked each other with no small degree of virulence. Lyon, (the less ferocious beast of the two) by turning States' evidence, has brought out his friend Duane, and given some characteristick sketches of himself and party, which cannot fail to amuse all those who can contemplate the backside of human nature with complacency. Had not the tail of the body politick in America, got the upperhand, and as Butler says, “sergeant bum invaded shoulders,” we would turn with disgust from such exhibitions of enormity as are presented to view by the falling-out of these rogues among themselves. But as they have a more intimate acquaintance with each other's projects than honest men can have, it may not be bad policy to attend to their criminations, set a thief to take a thief, and pardon a few who will be active in convicting the rest.

Lyon has lately addressed a letter to Duane, which perfectly bewrays the character of both these turbulent demagogues; and if Americans will hereafter be duped by such unprincipled wretches, they will deserve to be doomed to slavery. A short extract or two from Lyon's letter, will show what sort of a tool Duane is supposed to be, by his own party, and what honest means those in power have employed, in order to aggrandize themselves at the expense of the country.

After comparing Duane to a “skunk,” and declaring him to be a “would-be tyrant,” he proceeds as follows:

“A wretch (to wit, Duane) hunted for his crimes, from Asia to Africa, from Africa to Europe, from Europe to America, landed on the Atlantick shore of the United States, seven or eight years ago, incapable of earning his bread, by common honest laborious industry, poor and pennyless, driven for his petulence from the station which first offered him subsistence in America, when a ragged vagabond, with a downcast guilty look like Cain, expecting every man's hand to be raised against him; bemired with filth, and shunned as a spectre; with no other distinguishing property than that of ability to write with severity; to give falsehood and lies some semblance of truth, and to give truth the appearance of falsehood. The democrats of this country were taken in by him; by their countenance and indulgence, he became the conductor of a press, which had been distinguished for its correct course: they enabled him to put on a clean shirt, to fill his belly, to look a little sleek and hold up his head. [OMITTED]

“I told the members (of Congress) to give the man money, all you can afford—let us support him through the crisis, and if our party succeeds in obtaining the reins of the government, the paper will support itself; if we fall, it must fall.”

“I foresaw, his charges would be made up, something like those made for printing for the house of representatives of the United States, which the committee of that house, with all their vigilance, have not been able to reduce, nearer than 30 per cent. to what other people will [illeg.] do it for, when the lowest bidder has the work.”

“I often told my republican friends, in those days, that the LIES of this man would injure our cause, if the conflict lasted long enough to have them exposed. A thousand times has he brought a blush on the face of the honest men of our party, when they read his unfounded attacks against their opponents; with regret, the most discerning foresaw, that themselves would be subject to the same insults and indignities, whenever they happened to displease this unprincipled scaramouch of their own architecture.”

“This person is suspected by some, to be at this time favourable to the views of a foreign potentate, [Buonaparte] who wishes to see democracy and republicanism,” (very distinct things by the way) “wrote down and brought into disgrace in this country, &c. &c.”

Thus spake the valorous knight of the wooden sword; but he still remains the very good friend of this “unprincipled scaramouch,” and, tells Duane “although a provoked monitor, still your old friend is not your enemy,” That “his republican friends think highly of Duane's services.” &c.

One would suppose, that if Lyon had the least symptoms of returning honesty, he would not continue to support a man, whom he declares to “be a wretch hunted for his crimes from Europe to Africa,” &c. and whose claims for patronage, consist altogether “in ability to write with severity; to give falsehood and lies some semblance of truth, and to give truth the appearance of falsehood;” one that he suspects to be “favourable to the views of a foreign potentate,” &c. &c. And that his party would not feel proud in having employed, and continuing to employ, an “unprincipled wretch, whose LIES, they were told, would injure their cause.” But like masters like man. They are all democrats, they are all shuffling demagogues.

The Genevan evinced his partiality to the paddy, as follows:

The Knight of the Wooden Sword, was, in 1803, agent to the United States, for furnishing supplies to the army. He drew a bill on the treasury of the United States, for money which would not be due for a number of months. The bill, however, was presented, and immediately paid.

Mr. Steele, late secretary for the Missisippi territory, drew on the treasury of the United States, for money which was then due to him, under an act of congress, for services performed in collecting the direct tax. The bill was presented, and Gallatin acknowledged it to be due, but would not pay it until all the returns under the direct tax had come in, and the accounts were settled. The bill remained unpaid fourteen months, till the accounts were settled, when the holder called again on Mr. Gallatin. But the cunning Genevan would not then pay the bill, because all the money due for these services was not drawn for at the same time.

The Washington Federalist makes the following remarks on this scandalous procedure:

“The baseness of this transaction is only to be fully understood, by comparing it with the one first detailed. In the first, we see a man despised by every person of character in the United States, made the agent of Government, and such anxiety shown to render him services, and to honour his drafts, that they are paid many months before they are due. On the other hand, we see a faithful and good officer, universally respected and esteemed, drawing upon the treasury for money acknowledged to be due to him. The secretary, instead of paying it, puts it off on frivolous pretexts, for more than a year, and then subjects the drawer to very great expense, trouble, and delay, which might have been avoided, by stating the objections at first. The damages occasioned by the protest, are regulated by the different states. In few are they less, and some more than 15 per cent on the whole amount, besides interest, cost, and charges. A pretty little sum for an American to pay, for the whim or caprice of an insolent foreigner!

Many of our formerly violent democrats, have become disgusted with their party, and have learned in the dear school of experience, what was foreseen by the federalists from the time in which our government was first organized, that the kind of liberty and equality, for which they have been contentious, would not be practicable in society. These gentlemen talk about forming a third party, of what they are pleased to call true Americans, which is to comprise all the moderates of both parties. This may be well enough, but these true Americans, must become in effect Federalists, whatever they may be pleased to denominate themselves, if they purpose to pursue the real interests of their country. But if their intention is to introduce a new order of things, a system of measures different in principle from those of the Washington and Adams administration, their leaders should be chosen from among the Democrats who distinguished themselves by thwarting the views of those men who laid the foundation for whatsoever of national prosperity we now enjoy. Among these we can think of no person whose courage and conduct so well entitle him to that superb station, as the Knight of the wooden Sword.

This petty dealer in sedition, has, a number of years past, edited a Newspaper, printed at Bennington, Vermont, which has been as virulent and mischievous, as the limited talents of the particle, which conducted it, would permit.

We once endeavoured to give the public an idea of the thing, and its Newspaper, in the following lines:

At Bennington, a set of fellows,
Of Tony made a pair of bellows,
Then plied their tool, with skill amazing,
To set sedition's coals a blazing;
And hope by dint of perseverance,
To make all smoke within a year hence.
In other words, the crooked set,
Hir'd him to print a dull Gazette;
A viler and a dirtier thing,
Ne'er caus'd its editor to swing.
His papers, take them as they rise,
Have fewer paragraphs than lies;
E'en Virgil's Fame, with all her tongues,
And many a hundred pair of lungs,
And who with ease, as Poet's say,
Can forge ten-thousand lies a day,
Has brok'n her brazen trump, and sighing,
To Tony yields the palm of lying!
But quoth the reader, tell me why
You thus would cannonade a fly!
Would not a warrior simple be,
At tilt and tourn'ment with a flea!
We own our error, gentle reader,
And stand rebuk'd for our procedure.
Then, Tony, thou may'st creep along,
Unnotic'd in our future song,
From satire's arrows still exempt,
Because thou art beneath contempt!

Tony, however, continuing to swell like the frog in the fable, we were under the disagreeable necessity of making a second attempt to hit him, and in our opinion, made a very good shot, in the following sketch of

The ORIGIN and FORMATION
Of the Soul of a noted little Democrat.
CERTAIN sages, learn'd and twistical,
By reasoning not one whit sophistical,
Have prov'd what's wonderful, to wit,
The smallest atom may be split,
Then split again, ad infinitum,
And diagrams, which much delight 'm,
By Mr. Martin, make it out,
Beyond the shadow of a doubt.
Matter thus splittable, I ween,
With half an eye it may be seen,
That spirit, being much diviner,
May be proportionably finer,
Nor is this merely postulatum,
'Tis prov'd by facts, and thus we state 'em.
Dame Nature, once, in mood of merriment,
Perform'd the following droll experiment,
She took a most diminish'd sprite,
Smaller than microsopic mite,
An hundred thousand such might lie,
Wedg'd in a cambric needle's eye;—
And then by dint of her divinity,
Divided it one whole Infinity,
Next cull'd the very smallest particle,
And shap'd the Democratic article,
That little, d*l*sh, dirty dole,
Which serves for Tony Haswell's soul!

But, mirabile dictu! notwithstanding we thus impaled this insect on the point of the needle of Satire, the puny, cat-lived animalcule is still in existence, and dashes in the character of a leading Democrat in Vermont.

The idea expressed in this stanza, we have borrowed, with some little alteration, from The Battle of the Kegs.

“A hundred men, with each a pen,
Or more, upon my word, Sir,
It is most true, would be too few,
Their valor to record, Sir.”

A notorious Counsellor at Law, who displayed much of the art of turning and twisting, in the Legislature, in the famous case of Young and Minns, alias the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, vs. Mr. Jefferson.

Perhaps some of our readers would prefer to have the story of this famous cause told in prose, and as we are solicitous to gratify the palates of all those who expect entertainment from our Parnassian Restaurateur, we beg leave to present them, together with the flummery of our poetry, a relish of roast beef from the Frederickstown Herald, of September 29, 1804.

The editor of that excellent Newspaper, thus expresses himself of the personage whose case is now under consideration:

“In the National Intelligencer of the 19th inst. the following compliment is paid to Mr. Lincoln, by a writer under the signature of Curtius. “The short period during which he held his seat [in Congress] had not admitted of a developement of his talents, but he entered the body with the reputation of eminent talents.”—We should be glad to know with what reputation he left it? The truth is, that he entered the body with the reputation of being one of the writers of a Worcester paper called the Ægis, and was supposed to be one of the authors of a series of essays, (if a mass of slander, personal, vindictive and unjust, deserves the name) called the “Farmer's Letters;” this was the only evidence which the public had received of his talents, and with this reputation he entered the house, and with this reputation only he left it. It is true, that a farther “developement of his talents” did not take place during his stay in Congress; but it is not true that it was owing to “the short period” to which it was confined. He remained sufficiently long to have developed his talents on the many important and interesting topics which were each day the subject of discussion. Awed by the splendor which surrounded him, he dared not expose his prate to the keen animadversion of his contemporary opponents. Having just sense enough to practise the maxim of “vix sapit qui pauca loquitur,” he shielded himself in a stupid silence, and sat scowling at the eminence which he had not the power to resist. He therefore went out of Congress as he came in, with the reputation of being a weak spoke in the wheel of government.

“Mr. Lincoln was now appointed Attorney General of the United States, and during the long period in which he has held, we will not say discharged, that office, he has permitted a farther developement of his talents, by making one speech and an half in the Supreme Court.

“The first speech was a sufficient developement of his talents, to induce Administration to believe that in any future developement, it might be necessary for the interests of the country, that he should be assisted by other counsel, and therefore, in the celebrated case of the Sugar Refiners, Mr. Dallas was employed, at the expense of several hundred dollars, to render this assistance. The cause was tried at the capitol, in Washington, during the sitting of Congress, before chief Justice Marshal, and Judges Chase and Washington. The hall of the court was crouded with spectators, among whom were observed many foreigners of distinction, and members of Congress. The honourable Levi Lincoln arose—one hand was rested on a large pile of law books, which it would seem he intended to use, the other contained a roll of manuscript notes of the case, to which it would seem he intended to refer. He neither used the one nor referred to the other. He was on the floor about ten minutes, when having concluded his prefatory remarks, he said, “I will now inform this honourable Court, of the first point which I have taken in this case.”—He paused, “I say, may it please your honours,” (continued he, after a little hesitation) and paused again.—The Court listened with the utmost attention; the spectators who were at a little distance from the bar, anxious to witness the event which this illustrious instance of the “montes parturiunt,” seemed to promise, closed up in a semicircle around the balustrade of the forum. “And I was saying, (said Mr. Lincoln) I have made a point.”—He had so. He had reached one which he could not surmount. He told the Court that he begged their kind indulgence; that he felt exceedingly embarrassed, and wished a few minutes for recollection. The Court bowed assent, and Mr. Lincoln sat down.

“After a pause of fifteen minutes, during which there was the most solemn stillness, Mr. Lincoln rose again. He continued to speak about ten minutes more. His manner was wild, incoherent, and unargumentative, and seemed to be an unconnected, promiscuous, and irregular assemblage of words, without the smallest attention to an ordo verborum. “I have now come, (said he) may it please your honours, to the second point proposed —I say—the second point which I have taken is this—I have got (said he) to the second point.”—He, however, was never able to get any farther, and the Court remain yet to be informed what that second point was. Mr. Lincoln was obliged once more to apologize to the Court for being unable to proceed. He said, he felt an embarrassment which he could not conquer, and that Mr. Dallas would go on with the cause. A confused murmur was heard throughout the hall; it was the hum of vexation, disappointment, and keen remark. Some of the auditory felt chagrined at this debasement of our national dignity; some felt disappointed and astonished that this exertion of forensic eloquence, should have terminated in such a mortifying developement of the talents of the Attorney General; and others laughed at the impotency which they had predicted—whilst the poor Mr. Lincoln sat down at the bar, and covered his face with his hands. It would be vain to deny the truth of this statement; the hundreds who were present can testify to its truth.

The following account of the leading features of the case to which we here allude, is extracted from the New-York Evening Post:

“On the 28th of May, 1800. James Thompson Callender, was legally convicted of a misdemeanor, and sentenced to pay a fine of two hundred dollars, to be imprisoned nine months, and find security for his good behaviour for a certain term, “beyond the expiration of his imprisonment.” Shortly after Callender had paid the fine into the hands of the Marshal, and after the term of his imprisonment had expired, a general pardon of the misdemeanor, remitting and releasing all penalties incurred, or to be incurred, by reason thereof, was granted, and sent to the Marshal. Doubts were suggested, whether, having once received the money from Callender, the officer could legally pay it back to him. These doubts were communicated to the acting Secretary of State; [to wit, the Hon. L. L. Esquire] who, after a delay of nearly a month, replied, that the question had been considered, and that “before a fine is paid into the Treasury, a pardon remits and restores it to the party; concluding with a direction to “restore the money to Mr. Callender,” which was accordingly done.”

The arguments which are adduced in the able discussion of the subject, a part of which we have here quoted, proving that when a fine is paid, it becomes property vested, and that a charter of pardon does not imply restitution, are too long to be here inserted.

I have often thought Pope's sentiment, expressed in the following lines, peculiarly applicable to the profession of law.

“A little learning is a dangerous thing.
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring;
For shallow draughts intoxicate the brain
But drinking largely, sobers us again.”

A man who has but a smattering of law knowledge, is sure to steer wide of justice and common sense, and attempt to make mischeivous distinctions between law and right.

The acute, sagacious and subtle essays, which are supposed to have been written by our American Junius, with the title of “A Farmer's Letter to the People,” will ever remain a stupendous monument of the astute, penetrating and profound genius of Democracy'sDemosthenes.” Such ductility of fancy, such malleability and intertexture of simple nonsense, into complicated and unintelligible rhapsody, was never, perhaps, exceeded by the mad cap French revolutionary declaimers on liberty and equality. We did intend to have favoured our readers with our critical remarks on these wonderful productions, pointing out some of those passages which seem possessed of Colossean merit. But as we do not wish to inundate our readers with a flood of verbiage, without so much as a tinkling rill of meaning, we cannot do ourselves the high honour of making copious quotations. We will, however, mention two sentences from Letter No. X. the one a little involved, and the other not quite true.

If there is no sense of decency remaining, none inculcated by public teachers; IF no beauties are seen in propriety or consistency of conduct; IF principles of enmity to public authority are disseminated and nurtured; IF the precepts of the wisest, and the experience of the greatest men of ancient and modern times, are held in contempt and rejected, because they are embraced by the officers of government; IF their unexamined, and untried measures should continue to be rudely, suddenly, prematurely and wickedly anathematised by vulgar rashness and sacerdotal prejudice, merely because they are theirs; vain will be our retrospect on past exertions, or revolutionary acquisitions; delusive our hopes of the future, and miserable the condition of the present and after generations.”

If a body meet a body”—&c. or to rise to the “pinnacle of the foundation” of this subject,

If a man be like a man, who

“Sometimes to sense, sometimes to nonsense leaning,
“Is always blundering round about his meaning.”

pray who else is he like?

The next paragraph which we shall select for our readers “negative instruction,” is an absolute falsehood.

Speaking of a Note addressed to the public by the Editors of the Mercury, proposing to enlarge its size, and entitle it the New-England Palladium, our author says, that “for less, infinitely less, was Lyon convicted, Callender and Cooper punished.” To those who have read the note and the libels to which it was compared, any comments on this round assertion, would be perfectly frivolous.

The merit of this figure, we confess, consists entirely in its application, for we borrowed it from one of the Farmer's Letters (we forget which) wherein the prophet Habakkuk is styled “Prophecy's Demosthenes.”

“How sweet an Ovid in a Murray lost,”

said the Poet; but had he been so fortunate as to have heard the Sugar Cause argued, and have perused the “Farmer's Letters,” he would have ejaculated something very like the above happy couplet, on perceiving the fine-writer, and profound lawyer, happily blended in the person of the Attorney General.

The following sketch, from the Boston Gazette of July, 1804, is somewhat declarative of the demerits of this renegado Parson:

“The Walpole Observatory is understood to be edited by a broken Parson, who, we are told, was drummed out of a parish in Connecticut. There is no want of candor in remarking, and we leave it to others, to apply the remark, if they think it applicable, that there is no worse man in society that he who is a renegado from his own profession. When a black coat is too tight for a man's limbs he seldom gets any decent one that will fit them. When the virulence of a man's politics or temper, or the high bribes that a party offers for his profligacy, have induced a person to strip off the clergyman, he is generally found to be more deeply corrupt than if he had never endured the restraints of a good character. Tired of being a hypocrite, he spits, like Matthew Lyon, in the world's face, and says, Shame, I defy you—Faction pay me and I will lie for you.

“In the most Federal part of Newhampshire, there was, and still is, a very respectable and useful Newspaper, called the Farmer's Museum. The old revolutionary patriot, so well known, Isaiah Thomas, whom Mr. Jefferson has dismissed for his good services from the Post office, is the principal proprietor. To attack Federalism in its strong holds, and to carry the party war into the enemy's country, like Scipio when he invaded Africa, this Parson, who had never seen a Printer's type, was sent every one will believe, by the Administration, to print an Opposition Paper, at Walpole, where it was not wanted for information, as there was an excellent paper printed there before. There must be something found to encourage this poor Parson to set up a press, where it is manifest there was so little room for his business. What could be done for him better than resort to the Administration for a good fat offering, that this Priest of Jacobinism might live upon it, till he could revolutionize the state of New-Hampshire, and bring in Mr. Langdon to be governor. For that end no doubt he was sent, and to cover up from the eyes of the people the intermeddling of our rulers in the politics of the state, this new comer was appointed Printer of the Laws of the United states. But the office, it is understood, was erected for the man and for the occasion; for the Laws were printed before in Portsmouth, and one printer to a State is as much as has been heretofore deemed necessary, especially when we consider that New-Hampshire is a small state.

“A needy tool for our great men, was, however, wanted, and must be provided for, and in such a way as to hide or seem to hide the business—for in truth, saving appearances was all that was regarded.

“Now we beg to know, how much is allowed to the Observatory for printing the Laws of the United States. Enough, we believe, to support a Jacobin press. If we are right in this conjecture, then the people's money is taken by the friends of reform and economy, and squandered on a worthless tool of office, a profligate minion, in reward for deceiving and inflaming the people of New-Hampshire. We hope the accounts of the Department of State for publishing the Laws, will be scrutinized, and though the Federal members cannot hinder the work of corruption, they may be able publicly to expose it. Instead of the press being free to combat error, as a great man chooses to say we make no doubt the Jacobin press is supported by the people's money, to deceive them. It is a servile, base, wicked tool of a Jacobin faction. It is a bell that never ceased ringing for fire, when there was none; and now the Brissotiness and Robespierrists are in power, and have set the country and constitution in a blaze, at the four corners, the bell is muffled.

“No sooner did this man come into New-Hampshire, than he began to know more than any body else about the affairs of the state; and very busily spread jealousies and suspicions about the honesty and correctness of the State Treasurer's accounts. In this he followed the example of the Committee of Calumnies in Congress, who reported against Wolcot, Pickering and McHenry, a number of charges, that even a Democratic majority in congress did not dare to support. In like manner there was a Democratic majority in the New-Hampshire legislature; but they, more candid than the Nicholson and Randolphs, did examine the charges and found them false.

“The same Observatory man has stated in his paper, that the votes for Governor Gilman were a minority. In this he has been solidly confuted; still, however, a lie well stood to, he thinks, as good as the truth, and he stands to it. He stands to it, that Mr. Jefferson is chaste— no poacher in Mr. Walker's family—is a brave man— never hid from Tarlton—is a good christian—as good as Condorcet or Pain—and breaks out into the most outrageous exclamations against the Federal slanderers, who can dare to publish that such a Joseph for virtue, such a Joseph Surface for talking about it—such a Solomon in council—such a Sampson in combat—who so abhors to shed blood, and so delights to shed ink—such an Old Testament saint, as his Notes on Virginia attest, can be nothing less than an American Bonaparte, a Dieu donnè —heaven sent to be our Consul for life, and our Emperor by inheritance—with remainder over to Mr. Eppes and his issue.

“A good salary for printing the laws, requires, that tough stories by Col. Walker, or Callender, or any body else, should be resolutely brow beaten. A thousand dollars a year will greatly assist a man to stand strong in his faith. This reverend Vicar of Bray will not believe, nor allow the people of New-Hampshire to believe a word to the prejudice of his patron, as long as he holds his office.

“The post riders make their contracts with the Post-Master General, and it is easy to see that Jacobin zealots will be preferred. See then how completely the press is made subject to the new administration; how the Observatory can be almost forced upon readers, and how the Museum can be obstructed. The French is not more subject to his Imperial Majesty, the Citizen Consul, than the Jacobin press to Mr. Jefferson.

“We are told that for weeks before election in this state, the Federal papers did not circulate in some parts of the district of Maine. Every one can conjecture why it happened, though no one can precisely unravel the circumstances, and tell how.

“Is it the opinion of the Administration, that the people of New-Hampshire are more easily deluded than those of Connecticut? This Observatory man was known in Connecticut, and there he had no influence. Was it necessary to send him away from home, to enable him to do mischief; or is New-Hampshire thought to be stupid enough to give success to a baffled and disgraced Connecticut, Jacobin? For our parts, we believe better things of the Citizens of New-Hampshire; and as the attempt to influence them is bareface, and truely insulting to their independence, they will, we trust, evince at the next election, that they are as Federal as Connecticut.”

This stupid fib-teller hammered out half a dozen falsehoods about a single toast, drank on the 4th of July, 1804. What made the thing the more ridiculous, and would have silenced him for ever, had he not been a Democrat, and ergo, a friend to the people, was, the circumstance of there being a number of respectable persons in the neighbourhood, who were witnesses to his falsehoods on that occasion.

This man, with matchless effrontery, has repeatedly affirmed in his lying vehicle, in substance, that a purer and more spotless character than that of Mr. Jefferson never was enjoyed by any mere man; and even goes so far in his blasphemous impudence, as to compare this man, with “twenty Gods, or NO God,” with our Saviour!!!

Mr. G. is appointed Secretary to his Excellency Gen. Hull, who is also appointed Governor of Michigan.

That Mr. Gallatin was active in the Pittsburgh insurrection, will not, we presume, be disputed by Democrats, if we present them with vouchers, extracted from a Newspaper under the direction of their own party.

In Bache's paper of Sept. 1, 1792, appeared the following account of the proceedings of the insurgents, at the commencement of an insurrection, which cost the United States above a million of dollars:

At a meeting of sundry inhabitants of the Western Counties of Pennsylvania, at Pittsburgh, on the 21st day of August, 1792:

Col. John Cannon was placed in the chair.
Albert Gallatin, appointed Clerk.

The Excise Law of Congress being taken into consideration, a committee was appointed to prepare a draught of resolutions, expressing the sense of the meeting on the subject of said law.

Adjourned to 10 o'clock to-morrow.

The committee appointed yesterday, made report, which being twice read, was unanimously adopted:

“And whereas some men be found amongst us so far lost to every sense of virtue and feeling for the distresses of this country as to accept offices for the collection of the duty:

Resolved therefore: That in future we will consider such persons as unworthy of our friendship: Have no intercourse or dealings with them, WITHDRAW FROM THEM EVERY ASSISTANCE, and WITHHOLD ALL THE COMFORTS OF LIFE, which depend upon those duties, that as men and fellow-citizens, we owe to each other, and upon all occasions treat them with that contempt they deserve, and that it be, and it is humbly, and most earnestly recommended to the people at large, to follow the same kind of conduct towards them.”

(Signed) John Cannon, Chairman. ALBERT GALLATIN, Clerk.

Mr. Gallatin, afterwards, perceiving the insurrection would fail, sought and obtained pardon of General Washington. But that he retained his political rancour, is evident from the dismission of General Miller from the office of Supervisor, immediately after Mr. Gallatin's coming to the Treasury, whose offence consisted in his having commanded a body of troops who were active in quelling Mr. Gallatin's insurrection.

We find many of our moderate Federalists somewhat squeamish in this particular. They urge, that the exposition of the crimes of great men chosen into office by the people, is a disgrace to our national character. But these to very candid gentlemen should inform us, whether our national character would not be more disgraced by suffering such characters and such conduct as enter into the composition of our men and measures to pass without animadversion?

The idea pourtrayed in this simile we borrowed from the “Balance,” an excellent federal paper, printed at Hudson, (see an editorial article of Jan. 1st, 1805) Mr. Croswell will be good enough to help himself to an equivalent from any of our best rhetorical flourishes, and accept of our acknowledgment into the bargain.

This vile renegado, by virtue of his influence with the mob, is one of the most powerful personages in the United States. He is said to have remarked, that Mr. J---a dare as well be d---d as affront him.

The efforts of Duane, and of his designing and wrongheaded scribblers who labour for the Aurora, are ever directed to the purpose of destroying all kinds of distinction in society, except merely such as a cunning man may establish as leader of a mob. The learned professions are the constant objects of his abuse, and that of the advocates for levelling systems who dash in the Aurora. Should his plans succeed, brutal strength, and savage cunning, will be the only foundation for eminence. Indeed he has laid the axe at the root of civilization, and unless great exertions are made to counteract the influence of that vile vehicle of poison, which he publishes, its deleterious effects will, for ages, be felt in America.

The man who cannot otherwise be convinced of the turpitude of this and certain other artful Pseudo-Patriots, is requested to peruse certain statements made by a Mr. John Wood, a foreigner, printed at New-York, 1802, relative to a history which he had undertaken to write of the “Administration of John Adams.” This history was compiled, as the author states, from materials collected from the Aurora, Duane's private letters, and Callender's works, and was suppressed by the influence of Col. Burr.

Mr. Wood's statement bears many marks of veracity and candor, and if we may believe him, the Jacobins who furnished him with materials for his history, are the most deceitful of mortals.

“Mr. Duane, (he says) sent me occasionally, information as to characters and events, sometimes couched in the form of history, leaving it to my discretion, whether to alter the language or not. Notwithstanding the active part which Mr. Duane had in the compilation of this history, he is pleased to assert in the Aurora of the 12th of July, (1802) that it contains neither veracity nor dignity. Such an observation would certainly have proceeded with more propriety from any critic than Mr. Duane, for the facts furnished by him, are well known to be the most false and libellous in the whole book.” p. 7.

Again, “All the circumstances furnished by Mr. Duane, in his letters to me, proved afterwards to be the grossest falsehoods, most probably fabricated by himself.” p. 26.

By turning to the Freeman's Journal, of July, 1803, published by Duane's former patrons and admirers, we shall perceive, among other proofs of the want of principle of this flagitious wretch, that he made oath to a falsehood about his having been a long time a citizen of the United States.

In the pamphlet of Wood, above quoted, we find the following remark: “A man, (to wit, Duane) who has partly the means of ransacking, in a clandestine manner, the books of a public office, who did not hesitate to publish to the world the contents of letters, evidently intended for the post-office—who glories in being the discloser of secrets and the unfolder of private caucusses, ought to veil himself from society.” p. 82.

Here we have Jacobin against Jacobin, and it is to be hoped that those who reject Federal testimony, will not refuse credence to their own party.

This wretch continued to publish slanderous lies about the alledged defalcations of Mr. Pickering, while Secretary of the Treasury, long after a committee, composed of Gallatin and others, had acquitted Mr. Pickering of any malconduct in his office. After as minute an investigation as could be made by the eagle eye of party, these democrats themselves testified to his innocence (see Vol. I, Note 93, page 135) still this factious cur kept yelping against Mr. Pickering with as much virulence as ever!

In the Aurora, of March 21st, 1805, are the following expressions, which shew what are the views of this would-be tyrant:—

“—They will petition loudly for a repreive—they will stir up every interest in their power to procure their pardon—they will writhe, and twist, and turn—they know THEY ARE ON THE ROAD TO THE SCAFFOLD AND MUST MEET THEIR FATE; but that FATE they will endeavour to procrastinate—Republicans, be not moved by their intreaties.

“They look'd at the tree, they travers'd the cart,
“They handled the rope, but seem'd loth to depart.”

These expressions, say the editors of the Freeman's Journal, are “diabolical.” They most truly are so, but they present nothing new to the Federalists. The Federalists knew from the beginning, where Duane and the faction of which these gentry composed a part would lead us. But Duane, M'Kean and Co. were then all Democrats, all Republicans.

We shall trouble our readers with an extract from one of these libels. Although it has frequently appeared in fugitive publications, by way of testimony against the daring demagogue, by whom it was first penned, it ought to be again and again presented to those who pretend that the supporters of the present administration were the friends of Washington.

In the Aurora of March 6th, 1797, this favorite of Mr. Jefferson thus expresses himself:—

“Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, for mine eyes have seen thy salvation,” was the pious ejaculation of a man, who beheld a flood of happiness rushing in upon mankind—if ever there was a time, which would licence the reiteration of the exclamation, that time is now arrived; for the man, who is the source of all the misfortunes of our country, is this day reduced to a level with his fellow-citizens, and is no longer possessed of power to multiply evils upon the United States. If ever there was a period for rejoicing, this is the moment— every heart in unison with the freedom and happiness of the people, ought to beat with high exultation that the name of Washington from this day, ceases to give a currency to political iniquity, and to legalize corruption— a new æra is now opening upon us, a new æra, which promises much to the people; for public measures must now stand upon their own merits, and nefarious projects can no longer be supported by a name.—When a retrospect is taken of the Washington administration for eight years past, it is a subject of the greatest astonishment, that a single individual should have cancelled the principles of Republicanism in an enlightened people, just emerged from the gulf of despotism, and should have carried his designs against the public liberty so far, as to have put in jeopardy its very existence:—such, however, are the facts, and with these staring us in the face, this day ought to be a Jubilee in the United States.”

At least were willing to encourage him, and “give him money, all they could afford.” See vol. ii. note 56. page 108.

See the conclusion of Matt. Lyon's letter to Duane, his “old friend,” &c.

Duane is said to have set up the trade of a Patriot at Calcutta, and commenced his useful labours as Editor to a Newspaper, by exerting himself to foment a quarrel between the civil and military departments. Sir John Shore, the English commander, paid so little regard to the rights of man, that he merely rewarded him with a kind of wooden-horsical promotion, which is not thought to confer very great honour on those who are the subjects of that kind of elevation. He then sent him to England, from whence he was imported, to teach Americans liberty and equality, under the auspices of Emperor Jefferson. Duane says, that he was kidnapped by Sir John, having been invited to breakfast. But the man is so given to lying, that we wish our readers to place no dependence on that part of the story.

This Gentleman, if I mistake not, is now Lord Teignmouth, and author of “Memoirs of the Life, Writings and Correspondence of Sir William Jones.”

We mean no reflection upon mechanics. But a man to be an editor of a news-paper, in a large city like New-York, of a paper too, which boasts the patronage of government, ought, together with natural powers, to have possesed the means of information, and to have superadded culture to native luxuriance of genius. Even a “needy knife grinder,” must serve some apprenticeship before he can set up for himself. But in our land of Liberty ignorance may be so qualified by impudence and scurrility as to entitle its happy possessors to the patronage of our first characters in the capacity of News-paper editors, and thus to occupy the most important and least responsible situations in our government.

Had we nothing of more importance to command our attention, we might point out hundreds of instances, in which this Mr. “Daggerman,” has absolutely assassinated the English Language. Sometimes Mr. Jefferson's dress is “Terse,” sometimes he is not “impopular,” sometimes we are told “Mr. Denniston, another gentleman and me called on him at his house.”—But really we wish to get the creature off our hands as quick as possible, and shall not therefore enlarge upon these minor faults.

Somebody once stole two letters, written at the City of Washington, one on the 6th and the other on the 7th of December, 1801, by Richard Peters, Jun. Esq. both sealed and directed to E. Bronson, Esq. editor of the United States Gazette. These letters were on political topics, and were afterwards published in the Aurora.

Mr. Bronson states a number of circumstances which seemed to implicate one James Cheetham, an Englishman, a hatter by trade, and editor of a paper called the American Citizen.

The editor of the New-York Evening Post, after attending to the evidence which appeared against this man, declares that “he either stole the letters himself, or that he received them from another, knowing them to be stolen. In the eye of the law both are equally guilty.” He afterwards invites this immaculate patriot to either sit down “infamous and contented,” with the reputation of being a Thief or to appeal to the laws of the land for redress. Patriot Jim. was best pleased with the former alternative.

This true imported, “genuine republican,” in an unguarded moment fairly threw off the mask, and told the world what kind of treatment his political opponents may expect, if he and his gang should ever obtain their meditated ascendency. He declared in the Citizen that the anti-revolutionists deserved to be assassinated “in the unsuspecting moments of sleep.” Can it be possible that such a ruffian is suffered not only to go at large, but that he and other incendiaries, of similar views, are patronized by some of our most prominent political characters.

Patriot Jim was furnished with lodgings at the expence of the Government of Great Britain, as a token of regard for his prowess exhibited in the nocturnal adventure, which terminated in the demolition of the unfortunate Constable's ribs.

The Third Party gentry of Pennsylvania, a spawn from the same litter with the New-York Burrites, have made violent news-paper attacks on most of their quondam friends and associates, with whom they were formerly united in sapping the foundations of the Federal Government.

It has been said that this divine whose guilt, contrition and punishment have excited so much attention, after having suffered the penalty inflicted in England for the crime of forgery, was resuscitated, and lived in privacy a number of years.

“As Socrates of old at first did
To aid Philosophy get hoisted,
And found his thoughts flow strangely clear,
Swung in a basket in mid air:
Our culprit thus in purer sky,
With like advantage rais'd his eye;
And looking forth in prospect wide
His Tory errors clearly spied.”
M'Fingal, Canto III.

Among the numerous instances of the unblushing effrontery of the dominant party, may be included their charging the Federalists with having been enemies to their country during the revolutionary war. This conduct evinces that hardihood in guilt, which distinguishes the veteran offender from the mere Tyro in iniquity. It is an attempt to fasten the dead weight of Jacobin enormity about the neck of the Federalists, and to sink the followers of Washington in the tempestuous sea of Jeffersonian liberty. See vol. I, note 147, page 165.

Seventy-sixer, a cant word adopted by some of our mushroom patriots, to designate the men who first asserted American Independence in the year 1776.

This tory of the first water, who is moreover a most charming Democrat, was attainted of treason, by the Legislature of Pennsylvania.

This man was appointed Navy Agent in the place of Mr. James Watson. The latter was an officer in the Connecticut line, in the revolutionary war.

We shall trouble our readers with but a brief specimen of this gentleman's elegant epistolary stile.

In an official letter to “Gen. Samuel Smith, Esq.” dated New-York, May 13, 1801, occurs the following highly polished paragraph.

“I had the honour of writing to you yesterday, to which beg your reference. The hasty result of my observations respecting a navy yard are as follows. The situation combined has, undoubtedly, advantages for the purposes intended—one disadvantage most striking to me is the exposure to an enemy landing in the rear, the dangers of which is not so great on reflection, and more in sound than in reality.”

The “result are” that, in the appointment of such an ignoramus, in the “situation combined” there is “one disadvantage” which although “most striking” “the dangers is very great on reflection”!!

This Gentleman has tasted of Mr. Jefferson's bounty in an appointment to a Consulship in London.

We have before had the honour to allude to a sublime specimen of this young man's eloquence in vol. 2, note 1, p. 3.

The father of this sprig of Democracy was one of Governor Hutchinson's Mandamus Counsellors.

The cloven-foot of the vile faction was never more completely displayed than in this infamous transaction.

Gen. Rufus Putnam served under Washington during the revolutionary war. He had grown poor in his country's service, and was obliged, in the decline of life, to migrate into the wilds bordering on the Ohio, and endeavour to provide for a rising family, by submitting to the hardships of a first settler in a dreary wilderness.

Gen. Washington, in order to smooth the path of his life's declivity, appointed him Surveyor General, with a handsome salary.

He was, however, marked as a victim to the relentless tyrants now in power, and the war-worn veteran was displaced to make room for Jared Mansfield, a worthless old Tory, but a good Democrat. Yes, this same Mansfield was not only a notorious British partizan, but was active in the destruction of some books, in New-Haven College Library, which were supposed to be favourable to liberty.

Thus does Mr. Jefferson fulfil his promise of “injuring the best men least,” and placing the hand of power on “anti-revolutionary adherence to our enemies.”

This gentleman, tory, democrat, and tomahawk vendor, has been repeatedly honored with the confidence of the New-York genuine republicans, &c. He has been chosen to represent that party in the legislature; is one of the directors of the Manhattan Bank and is in high repute, no doubt, for revolutionary services.

William Stevens of Georgia, was appointed Judge of the District Court by Mr. Jefferson. The amount of his claims for that station consist, we believe, in his being a good democrat; in his having been Chief Justice of the State of Georgia, and Lieutenant-Colonel of the Chatham county militia, in our revolutionary war, and while holding those offices of trust and confidence, deserting from the American service; receiving a British commission; being attainted for treason by the Legislature of the State of Georgia. Such are the men whom our pretended Republicans “delight to honour.” Wilson is a tory Democrat, of Worcester, Massachusetts, advanced to office by the present administration. Harrison is in office by virtue of an appointment by the New-York tory hating democratic corporation, as a reward for his services as a midshipman on board one of his Britannic Majesty's ships, during the revolutionary war. This gentleman supplanted Mr. Jeremy Marshal, dismissed from office, for having been, as Governor Clinton (then General Clinton) affirmed of him, one of the most useful men in the American army. These are only a few of the many instances, which might be adduced to prove that our good Democrats have been, and still are, hostile to those who were found faithful in times which “tried men's souls.”

For a more particular account of the proceedings of the New-York corporation, the reader will please to consult the New-York Evening Post of June 25th, in which the able and indefatigable editor has exhibited in its just light, the management of this immaculate junto of genuine Jeffersonians and redoubtable seventy-sixers.

Philip Arcularius was appointed, by the New-York Corporation, Superintendent of the Alms-House. He is a Hessian by birth, and, during the revolutionary war kept a sutler's shop for the supply of his countrymen in the British army. We cannot, in this place, give a detail of the particular services which recommended this man to our Democrats. To complete the story, it is to be added, that he supplanted Mr. Richard Furman, an American, who had served his country, both by sea and land, during the whole war, and was several times wounded. This gentleman had been frequently employed by his fellow citizens in offices of trust and confidence, and had ever approved himself a faithful public servant and worthy man. He had been extremely useful in the office of Superintendent of the Alms-House; but, as he was neither a Tory nor a Democrat, he was obliged to give place to the fellow who has the honor of a peg on our Gibbet.

Captain Burnet, another of our revolutionary officers, and one of the oldest post-masters in the United States, has been turned out of employment by Mr. Jefferson.— Here again we perceive the sincerity of Mr. Jefferson's declaration, that removals from office should be thrown as much as possible on “anti-revolutionary adherence to our enemies.”

As soon as he was displaced, patriot Cheetham began to open upon him for misconduct in having been in the habit of “stopping and destroying Republican papers.” Indeed, in every instance where the mushroom tyrant Granger, has exerted his “brief authority,” by a removal from office, we have seen the paltry prints of his party replete with lying statements, designed to destroy the character of those they had offered at the shrine of the Democratic Moloch.

Mr. Foote was another revolutionary patriot who has been displaced by the intolerant demagogues who are now dominant. Foote had the misfortune to think with Washington on political subjects, and was, of consequence, deprived of office, and his reputation afterwards attacked, by way of palliating such an iniquitous proceeding.

“We do not give you to posterity, as a pattern to imitate, but as an example to deter.—We mean to make you a negative instruction to your successors for ever.” Junius to the Duke of Grafton.

We always possessed a violent antipathy to your bawling, itinerant, field and barn preachers; and having promised them a dose, (P. 20. N. 24) we now proceed to administer a little of the nitrous acid of Satire, which we hope may effect a radical cure of their disorder. Our medicine is as follows:

FANATICISM.
I HATE your hypocritic race,
Who prate about pretended grace;
With tabernacle phizzes;
Who think Omnipotence to charm,
By faces longer than my arm!
O what a set of quizzes!
I hate your wretches, wild and sad,
Like gloomy wights in Bedlam mad,
Or vile Old Baily culprits;
Who with a sacrilegious zeal,
Death and damnation dare to deal,
From barn-erected pulpits.
I hate that hangman's aspect bluff,
In him, whose disposition rough,
The porcupine surpasses;
Who thinks that heaven is in his power,
Because his sullen looks might sour
A barrel of molasses.
A stupid wretch, who cannot read,
(A very likely thing indeed)
Receives from Heaven a calling;
He leaves his plough, he drops his hoe,
Gets on his meeting clothes, and lo,
Sets up the trade of bawling.
With lengthen'd visage, woe bedight,
An outward sign of inward light,
He howls in dismal tone;—
“I say, as how, you must be d---d,
For Satan an't so easy shamm'd,
And you're the devil's own!”
Fools, and old women, blubbering round,
With sobs, and sighs, and grief profound,
His every tone respond, Sir,
O could I catch the whining cur,
The deuce a bit would I demur,
To duck him in a pond, Sir,
If any of the canting race,
Are sent to visit any place,
Adieu to all decorum;
To every virtue, now adieu;
Morality, religion true,
Are blasted all before 'em.
A good old woman has the spleen,
And sees what is not to be seen.
Or dreams of things uncommon;
Yea, ten times more than tongue can tell,
Strange things in heaven, and eke in h---ll,
O, what a nice old woman!
Straight by the sect 'tis blaz'd about,
That she's inspir'd beyond a doubt,
And has her sins forgiven;
How can the wretches hope for bliss,
Who palm such foolish stuff as this,
Upon the God of Heaven!
Such doers of the devil's works,
Are sure than renegado Turks,
Worse foes to real piety;
And though we would not persecute,
By dint of ridicule, we'll hoot,
The wretches from society.

Twistical is a Yankeyism, which we have introduced, by virtue of our authority as a poet (Poetica Licentia.) The idea is borrowed from an anecdote related of a countryman, who made use of similar terms, in giving a character to a fanatic of his acquaintance.

We have particular reference to certain notable Democrats of our acquaintance, who make extraordinary piety a pretence for “leading captive silly women.”

Some of the most fiery Rhode-Island republicans out of their superabundant regard to the “rights of Man” are concerned in the slave trade. One Collins a violent Jacobin, and of consequence appointed a Collector for Newport, is a patriot of that description.

We are told that a gentleman who complained of the impropriety of which a friend had been guilty, by introducing him to his Excellency while he was in a state of intoxication, was silenced by a reply, that it could not be otherwise, for his E---y, when awake, was never sober.

We propose, “till time shall wear us out of action” to continue our strictures on certain flagitious demagogues, who have hitherto escaped our notice. We shall, however, probably publish them in such form that they may serve as a continuation to this work without their being blended with what we now place before the public.


181

CANTO VI.

MONITION.

ARGUMENT.

WE now, with due submission, venture,
To make OURSELF the People's Mentor,
And boldly take the lead of those,
Who fain would lead them by the nose;
And, if their grand Omnipotences,
Have not entirely lost their senses,
By us forewarn'd they'll shun the slavery,
Which waits on Democratic knavery.
Altho' not bless'd with second sight,
Divine inflation, or new light,
Have ne'er, in supernatural trance,
Seen through a mill-stone at a glance;

182

Ne'er danc'd with sprites at midnight revel,
Had never dealings with the devil,
Nor carried matters to such pitches,
As did the wicked Salem witches;—
Hav'nt made with t'other world so free, as
To go to Hell, like one Æneas,
By virtue of divine commission,
For prospects bright in fields Elyssian;—
Cannot divine like Richard Brothers,
Miss Polly Davis, and some others,
Who, in the world of spirits, spied
A gross of wonders—or they lied;—

183

Can't prophesy, as well as gingle,
Like 'Squire Columbus, or McFingal,
And don't see quite so many glories,
As could be wish'd, now flash before us;
Though nothing more than mortal elf,
Good reader, very like yourself,
And therefore shan't, by any trope,
Presume to make ourself a Pope;
Yet ne'er was conjuror acuter,
In prying into matters future;—
No old Silenus, though in liquor,
Could tell you what would happen quicker.
We'll therefore venture to assume, a
Tone of authority, like Numa;

184

And give such wondrous counsel, no man
Shall say, we fall beneath the Roman.
Good folks, of each degree and station,
Which goes to constitute our nation,
In social fabric who take place,
Or at the pinnacle or base,
With diligence, I pray, attend
To counsels of a real friend,
Who tells the truth, when he assures
You, that his interest is yours;

185

Who hopes, that when you're plainly show'd
Your Democratic, downhill road,
Is dire destruction's dismal route,
You'll condescend to turn about.
Why should you hardily advance,
The highway, lately trod by France;
Nor take example, ere too late,
To shun the same disastrous fate.
(O, could I hope my rush-light taper
Might penetrate the Stygian vapour,
That you might see, and seeing miss,
The Democratic precipice.)
But now, methinks, you cry as one,
What shall be done! What shall be done!
What method hit on for defending,
Against such destiny impending?
Imprimis, cry down every rogue
Democracy has now in vogue,

186

Who thinks, by dint of wicked lies,
To cast a mist before your eyes.
Give power to none but honest men,
Long tried, and faithful found, and then
You will not flounder in the dark.
Still wide from real freedom's mark,
Distrust those wretches, every one,
Curses denounc'd by Washington;
Who have of late been busy, brewing
Their own, and other people's ruin.
O had we built on that foundation,
Laid by our late Administration,

187

The fabric of our Nation's Glory
Had never been surpass'd in story.
But ever sedulous in brewing
Their own, and other people's ruin,

188

Our Democrats have been at work
To lay all level, with a jerk.
Not Satan, breaking into Eden,
Could show more malice in proceeding,
Or tell more false, malicious stories,
Than these said Jacobin-French Tories.

189

Sometimes the rogues were picking flaws
With Alien and Sedition Laws,

190

The Constitution next attacking,
They sent the Federal Judges packing.
With empty boasts of their surprising
Attention to economizing,
Thousands were thrown away, to show
How they could decorate the Berceau.

191

And public money was such trash,
Two million dollars, at a dash,
Without descending to excuses,
Their honours vote for private uses.
The Feds chac'd down, the snarling elves,
At loggerheads among themselves,

192

E'en cut and thrust, like gladiators,
For our amusement as spectators.
Resolv'd to prove the nation's curses,
They go from bad to what still worse is,
As females frail, by regular steps,
Are prostitutes from demireps.
Each wicked measure merely leading,
To more flagitious step succeeding,
Of late, their frantic innovations,
Have shook society's foundations.
Hot-headed Randolph's resolution
For cutting up the Constitution,
And that of Nicholson disclose,
The rancour of its deadly foes.

193

That “plague to G---d and man,” Tom. Paine,
Is at his dirty work again,
The Devil's special legate sent,
And patroniz'd by Government!

194

But now, methinks, you cry as one,
What must be done! What must be done!
These growing evils to curtail,
And make our Demo's shorten sail?
Sirs, (our opinion to be blunt in)
The first step must be, “scoundrel hunting!”

195

The minions of a wicked faction,
Hiss! hoot quite off the stage of action!
Next, every man throughout the nation,
Must be contented in his station,

196

Nor think to cut a figure greater,
Than was design'd for him by Nature.

197

No tinker bold with brazen pate,
Should set himself to patch the State,

198

No cobbler leave, at Faction's call,
His last, and thereby lose his all.
No brawny blacksmith, brave and stout,
Our Constitution hammer out,
For if he's wise, he'll not desire
Too many irons in the fire;—
And though a master of his trade,
With politics on anvil laid,
He may take many a heat, and yet he
Can't weld a bye-law or a treaty.
No tailor, than his goose more silly,
Should cut the State a garment, till he
Is sure he has the measure right,
Lest it fit awkward, loose or tight.

199

No farmer, had he Ceres' skill,
The commonwealth should think to till,
For many soils in human nature,
Would mock his art as cultivator.
The greatest number's greatest good,
Should, doubtless, ever be pursu'd;
But that consists, sans disputation,
In order and subordination.
Nature imposes her commands,
There must be heads, as well as hands,

200

The man of body, “son of soul,”
The former happiest on the whole:—

201

For toil of body still we find,
Is lighter far than toil of mind,

202

And nought, perhaps, but tooth-ach pains,
Can equal “wear and tear of brains.”
Blest is the man with wooden head,
Who labours for his daily bread,
More happy he, if truth were known,
Than Buonapart' upon his throne:—
Yes, his advantage most immense is,
In all enjoyments of the senses,
If health and strength in him are join'd,
With heaven's best boon, a tranquil mind.
Then think not Providence disgrac'd you,
If in some lower rank it plac'd you;
Think poverty no punishment,
And be with competence content;

203

Do not assume of State the reins,
If you're but so so, as to brains,
Because you make yourselves vexation,
And but disgrace us as a nation.
Had Johnny Randolph known his place,
He had not hunted Mr. Chase,
Nor had the public known him to be
A blundering and malicious booby.

204

Had Lawyer L---n staid at home,
His honour might have pass'd, with some,
For quite a decent country Squire,
And no bad Jury—argufier.
And had our Governor that would be,
But been contented where he should be,
His Honour had not been the mark
So often hit by D---r P---k.
Had—somebody but known his station,
Perhaps his blasted reputation,

205

Stain'd by a multitude of sins,
Had 'scap'd the shafts of Young and Minns.
So much for wiseacres, desiring
To show their folly by aspiring,
We turn to those who know their places,
And form our social fabric's basis.
I need not tell you, Sirs, how true 'tis,
That you have rights, as well as duties,
Have much at stake in preservation
Of Law and order in the nation.

206

But heed you not the bawling clan,
Who prate about the “rights of man,”
Although like Thomas Pain, and Firm,
They fix no meaning to the term.
See Elliot sick of the procedures
Of our good Democratic leaders,

207

Is half resolv'd on coming round,
And occupying Federal ground.

208

And others feel a foolish terror
'Gainst owning they have been in error,
And though convinc'd, are not so manly
As Butler, Elliot, and Stanley.
Be not of good men over jealous,
Nor lightly trust the clamorous fellows,
Who 'gainst your true friends set their faces,
Merely to crowd into their places.
There must be limits put to suffrage,
Although the step excite enough rage,

209

Lest men devoid of information
And honesty should rule the nation.
Your multiplying institutions,
Checks, balances and constitutions,
Which rogues can break down with impunity,
Will serve no purpose in community.

210

Thus Despotism France controuls,
In spite of Sieyes' pigeon holes,
And Revolutions every Moon,
Could not secure her Freedom's boon.
Let honesty and reputation,
Be passports to your approbation,
And ne'er support, with zeal most hearty,
A knave because he's of your party.
Remember, mid your party strife,
Whoso's a rogue in private life,

211

If once he gets you at his beck
Will set his foot upon your neck.
Thus Mr. Burr, for aye intriguing,
With this side, and with that side leaguing,
Has late contriv'd a scheme quite handy,
To make himself, for life, a grandee.

212

You next some method must be trying,
To stop the rage of party lying,
Which may be quickly done, provided
You will be honest and decided.
When printers are to lies addicted,
And have most fairly been convicted;
For instance, men like Chronicleers,
Who should be thankful—for their ears.
From pillory though they are exempt,
You ought to blast them with contempt,
But now they find, by Faction's aid,
Lying a profitable trade.
But you can stop our Demo's dashing,
Bring honesty again in fashion,
Bring scoundrelism to disgrace,
Bid modest merit show its face.

213

Instead of sinking in despair,
Be as with Washington you were,
Revive the measures he approv'd,
Restore to power the men he lov'd!

214

Then may you rationally hope
That Liberty, without a trope,
And all the virtues of her train,
Will deign to visit us again.

215

But, my good sovereign friends, I now
Must make, alas, my parting bow,
Still humbly hoping, with submission,
That you'll attend to my Monition.
Take my advice, which not pursuing,
You're surely in the “road to ruin,”
For rul'd by men, and not by law,
Your rights will not be worth a straw.
 

For a particular account of this journey, See Book VI. of the Æneid.

Richard Brothers and Polly Davis, well known personages, whose missions and voyages, to the world of spirits, have caused much speculation among some very knowing ecclesiastics, whom one would suppose were rather of the lying, than the standing order.

See Barlow's “Vision of Columbus,” and “Trumbull's McFingal,” in which the heroes of the poems respectively, after the manner of the ancients, take a peep into futurity.

Numa Pompilius was a King of the Romans, who pretended to intimacy with a female spirit, whom he named Egeria, and whose monitions were probably as prophetic as those of our invisible lady.

We have before observed, Vol. I. p. 10, that we have no private nor party views to subserve in this poem. We have no interest distinct from the good of our country, and no patron but the public.

Our leading Demagogues, are quite as likely to be offered as victims at the shrine of Democracy as the Federalists. Governor McKean, who was active in bringing about a Democratic order of things in Pennsylvania, stands on very slippery ground, and is in danger of being denounced by the Aurora-man, who is the Wat Tyler of the Pennsylvania Democrats.

To enumerate the most prominent measures of the Federal Administration, and the benefits which have resulted to the nation from the Federal system, would require volumes. We shall slightly advert to a few particulars, by way of elucidating this fact.

The Federalists found the country without permanent revenue, and without money in the Treasury sufficient to defray the necessary expences of Government; upwards of seventy-six millions in debt; the securities of Government selling at two shillings on the pound; the nation distracted at home and despised abroad—

Like “some wreck'd vessel, all in shatters,”
Scarce “held up by surrounding waters,”

Such was the state of things when they commenced their operations.

They liquidated the public funds for the extinction, of the national debt; punctually paid the interest and part of the principal.

They fortified our harbours.

They sought for and obtained indemnity for British and French spoliations.

They suppressed insurrections.

They built and purchased a Navy of thirty-six armed ships.

They secured peace abroad.

They established a Government at home.

They exalted our national character: under their auspices Agriculture flourished, Commerce was protected, a Revenue created without burthening the people, and Two Millions and an Half Dollars left in the Public Treasury.

McFingal.

If any of our readers are not yet fully acquainted with the despicable means by which our Jacobins attained the great end of destroying the Federal Administration, they are referred to Mr. Bayard's speech on the Judiciary Bill, spoken February 19, 1802. We should be happy to insert that part of it which relates to a vindication of the measures of the Federal Administration, did not its length exceed our limits. One sentence, however, relative to the clamour, which the Antifederalists have raised against direct taxation, the abolition of which, according to Mr. Jefferson's late speech, (March, 1805) is one of the measures so highly commendable in the gentlemen now at the head of our affairs, we cannot forbear to quote.

“Will gentlemen say that the direct tax was laid in order to enlarge the bounds of patronage? Will they deny that this was a measure to which we had been urged for years, by our adversaries, because they saw in it the ruin of the Federal power?”

This is the way they have managed—cunningly clamoured the Federal Administration into measures, which they foresaw might be rendered obnoxious to the people, and then took advantage of the odium which such measures had excited!

See Vol. I. P. 171–2. N. 170.

These laws were among the measures of the late Administration, which were obnoxious to the tyrants in power, merely because they were favourable to the rights of the citizen. The Alien law provided for the deportation, under certain circumstances, of turbulent and seditious foreigners; the latter gave our citizens a right to publish the truth concerning the measures of government. See Vol. I. N. 12. P. 8.

No man whose head is not very weak, or his heart very wicked, can contemplate, without emotions too vivid to be expressed, the conduct of the Faction in their destruction of the Judiciary. The sound arguments on the one side, and the flimsy sophisms on the other side of that great national question, when contrasted, must convince every person, that those men who laid their sacrilegious hands on the ark of our safety, were predetermined not to be convinced, but to stick to their party, right or wrong. See Vol. I. P. 168. N. 169.

More than thirty-two thousand dollars were expended in repairing the French Corvette Berceau. The Ganges, an American ship of war of 26 guns, and all her stores, were sold by administration for only 21,000 dollars, and most of the other ships of the Federal navy, we believe, in the same proportion.

See a resolve of Congress of November, 1803, that a sum of two millions of dollars in addition to the provision heretofore made, should be granted to the purposes of intercourse between us and foreign nations.

Every body knows that Master Johnny Randolph has of late been attempting to put off the monkey, and put on the tiger, and to bully the nonconformists of his party into genuine Republicanism. But his essays in the terrible, have terminated in the ludicrous, for even Miss Nancy Dawson declares that she will not be frightened out of her independence, by this whipper-in of the puppies of the party.

It is well known that the Democratic party were formerly most violent opponents of the Federal Constitution. Mr. Jefferson declared that he “disliked, and greatly disliked” many parts of it. We could, therefore, expect nothing better from the enemies of the Constitution, than that they would endeavour to destroy it. Some of the outworks are already demolished, and the citadel is to be attacked the next session, (Nov. 1805.) It is to be hoped that those Democrats, who are not rendered quite frantic by the spirit of party, will be taught, from the endeavours of our Randolphs and Nicholsons, the impolicy of placing the enemies of the Constitution of the United States in situations where they can, with impunity, aim their blows at its vitals. Would any man of a sound mind suffer his house to be tenanted by persons, who, after having vainly opposed its erection, had declared that its corner stones ought to be subtracted from the building, and its principal pillars be laid prostrate? Yet such is the part which we have acted in trusting the administration of the Federal Government in the hands of men who were inimical to that government at its establishment, and who, even now, neglect no opportunity for the display of their hostility to the constitution by which it is administered.

To wit, scribbling newspaper essays for the Snyderites at Pennsylvania.

This may seem very harsh doctrine. The sense in which I use the phrase quoted in this place, may, however, be explained, by referring to Vol. I. N. 4. P. 4.

I would not wish to hunt bad men with mobs, nor with mastiffs, but I would hold them out to society in true colours, and if the voice of the public does not consign them to infamy, Americans will pass from the “tempestuous sea” of licentiousness, to the “dead calm of despotism,” with the embittering reflection that they have merited their destiny. Thus, in France, after the destruction of Fayette and others of their leaders, who were solicitous to reform the abuses of the old government, and who were mostly well-meaning men, a succession of tygers, in human shape, afflicted the nation, till the most ferocious monster the kingdom afforded, was at length made Emperor.

There is, perhaps, no pride more preposterous than that which impels so many, in the middle and lower classes in society, to exert themselves to confer a collegiate education on their children, not only minerva invita, but when the res angusta domus opposes insurmountable impediments to their progress. “What good end (says an English writer) can it answer in these times, when every genteel profession is overstocked, to rob our agriculture or our manufactures of so many useful hands, by encouraging every substantial farmer, mechanic, or tradesman, to breed his son to the church;” and he might have added, or any other learned profession. “If now and then a very uncommon genius in those walks of life discovers itself, there are seldom wanting gentlemen in the neighbourhood, who are proud of calling forth, and if necessary, of supporting, by a subscription, such extraordinary talents.”

The multiplying of Academics, and poorly endowed Colleges, where that “dangerous thing.” “a little learning,” may be acquired, and frequently to the detriment of common Schools, in which that kind of knowledge is taught which is absolutely necessary for farmers, mechanics, &c. is, in our opinion, a great and a growing evil in America. Happy would it be for us if the number of the useful class of citizens, who form the basis of society, was greater in proportion to the population of the country.

With all the freedom you can boast,
You cannot all be uppermost:

And where subordination ends, tyranny begins; at first the “tyranny of all,” which soon becomes the tyranny of the few, or the despotism of one.

See Vol. I. P. 6, N. 8.

In the general scramble for political distinction, which takes place in America, in consequence of the door of office being open to every pretender, the basest means are resorted to, and the morals of the people are corrupted by the example of those who are aspiring to take the lead in the community. This evil might, in a great degree, be remedied by lessening the number of competitors for offices. Let every man have a right to aspire to the highest stations, but let the pre-requisite qualifications, respecting age, education, talents, citizenship, but above all morals, be such, that the number of competitors, would be comparatively few.

Regulations of that kind would be perfectly consistent with freedom, the ascendency of virtue and talents and the experience of ages.

These remarks apply, not only to the candidates for offices or emoluments under government, but to those who are crowding themselves into the learned professions, without those qualifications which ought to be considered as indispensable.

I know that Duane and the Jacobins of his school, maintain, that the learned professions, particularly that of Law, ought to be annihilated; and they may as well be annihilated, as to be crowded with witlings and unqualified professors. But it is to be hoped the good sense of Americans will resist the innovations of these Godwinian schemers.

Duane and his faction, may as well declare against watch-makers, tailors, or any others mechanics, as lawyers, or gentlemen of the other learned professions.— They are each subservient to the happiness or convenience of all, and altogether constitute a civilized nation. But if what we have advanced in our exposition of the principles of Mr. Godwin, in Canto II. relative to the tendency of these and similar levelling tenets, should make no impression on the reader, we must turn him over to the demagogues of the day.

“When tinkers bawl'd aloud to settle
Church discipline, for patching kettle.” &c.
Hudibras, Part I. Canto II.

If our New School politicians are not too fastidious to peruse with patience, even the Apocryphal part of the Bible, we would beg leave to illustrate our ideas on this subject, by a quotation from Ecclesiasticus, Chapter XXXVIII. v. 24, to the end of the chapter.

“The wisdom of a learned man cometh by opportunity of leisure: and he that hath little business shall become wise.

“How can he get wisdom that holdeth the plough, and that glorieth in the goad; that driveth oxen, and is occupied in their labours, and whose talk is of bullocks?

“He giveth his mind to make furrows; and is diligent to give the kine fodder.

“So every carpenter and workmaster that laboureth night and day: and they that cut and grave seals, and are diligent to make great variety, and give themselves to counterfeit imagery, and watch to finish a work:

“The smith also sitting by the anvil, and considering the iron work, the vapour of the fire wasteth his flesh, and he fighteth with the heat of the furnace: the noise of the hammer and the anvil is ever in his ears, and his eyes look still upon the pattern of the thing that he maketh; he setteth his mind to finish his work, and watcheth to polish it perfectly:

“So doth the potter sitting at his work, and turning the wheel about with his feet, who is always carefully set at his work: and maketh all his work by number;

“He fashioneth the clay with his arm, and boweth down his strength before his feet, he applieth himself to lead it over; and he is diligent to make clean the furnace:

“All these trust to their hands: and every one is wise in his work.

“Without these cannot a city be inhabited: and they shall not dwell where they will, nor go up and down: They shall not be sought for in public counsel, nor sit high, in the congregation: they shall not sit on the judges' seat, nor understand the sentence of judgment: they cannot declare justice and judgment, and they shall not be found where parables are spoken.

“But they will maintain the state of the world, and [all] their desire is in the work of the craft.”

It is impossible for any person who is truly a philanthropist not to feel his indignation excited against the perverse philosophists of the day, who, instead of inculcating patience and tranquility among mankind, are continually exciting that restive and turbulent spirit, which is the bane of civilised society. It is owing to their efforts that the hearts of the lower classes in the community /are so frequently “Cankered with discontent, that they consider themselves as condemned to labour for the luxury of the rich, and look up with stupid malevolence towards those who are placed above them.”

Johnson's Rasselas, Prince of Abysinnia.

He who has been in early life accustomed to laborious occupations, can rarely conform to sedentary pursuits: accustomed to the stimulus of violent corporeal exercise, his frame will be disordered, from its discontinuance. Listlessness, apathy, hypochondriacal complaints, and not unfrequently madness, swell the catalogue of disorders which await a transition of that kind. Hence the impracticability of civilizing the aborigines of America, who have, in early life, been inured to the toil of the hunter state.

The failure of this poor little “ghost of a monkey,” in his impeachment of Mr. Chase, cannot but afford high satisfaction to every friend to his country. We have reason to believe that had Mr. Chase fallen, it was the intention of the stripling tyrant, and his confederate mamelukes, to have destroyed all the Federal Judges, at “one fell swoop.”

It was happily so ordered, that he made his attack on one every way able to defend himself against the malicious and vindictive assaults of the Faction, and who has not only repelled the shafts of their calumny, but by his masterly vindication of his conduct, has done honour to Federalism and to his country.

The charges to which we here allude, are already before the public. We offer no comments, but merely observe, that the man, who, after having witnessed the developement of the character of this candidate for the Gubernatorial chair will give him his suffrage, has not virtue enough to qualify him to be the citizen of a free government; and if a majority of the citizens of Massachusetts are base enough to prefer this man to Governor Strong, national freedom is at its last gasp, and the character of the State is fast sinking to the lowest point of degradation.

We allude here to the well known publication in the New-England Palladium, entitled, “The monarchy of Federalism,” which gives in short hand, a correct idea of the man whom our Democrats “delight to honour.” The pamphlet, entitled, “The Defence of Young and Minns,” which contains copies of the documents, and statements of the facts alluded to in that publication, ought to be in the hands of every American freeman who is not disposed to rush blindfold into the jaws of destruction.

Nothing can be more preposterous than the declamatory nonsense of the demagogues of the day, who clamour about the “rights of man.” If these gentlemen wish to mix a little knowledge with their zeal on this subject, they will diligently con Judge Blackstone's Commentaries, particularly the first Chapter of the first Book, which treats of the “Rights of Persons.”

Mr. Elliot's letters to his constituents display very considerable candor, and certain aproximations to rectitude, for which he ought to receive a due degree of credit.

This gentleman, together with many others, much his inferiors in abilities and integrity, was elected to Congress by a party who were opposed to the Washington and Adams administration; but perceiving that the views of the leaders of that party were destructive to the Constitution, Laws and Liberty of the Union, he appears now to halt between two opinions. He will, by no means, acknowledge himself to be a Federalist, although his political tenets appear now to be very nearly the same with those always held by the Federal party. Perhaps, however, he may hereafter observe of some other political subjects what he has already remarked relative to a certain amendment of the Constitution, that he “had never contemplated the subject with a suitable degree of cool reflection and deep investigation.” No doubt a proper attention to contemplations of that kind might induce him to become altogether a Federalist!

We cannot, however, forbear to notice a slight inconsistency which appears in his “political creed,” as expressed in his 11th letter to his constituents. Mr. Elliot says, “I believe that Washington was the greatest warrior and probably the most correct statesman in our country. I believe Adams to be a man of integrity and talents, but the general system of his Administration was wrong.” Now a “correct statesman” is not apt to give his sanction to wrong measures, but Washington did highly approve of Mr. Adams' Administration, as appears by his letter to Mr. Carrol.

See Vol. I. N. 145. P. 163.

See Mr. Elliot's 3d Letter to his Constituents.

These gentlemen have all been of the Democratic party, but had honesty and independence enough to oppose the machinations of the Virginian junto.

It cannot be necessary in this place, to repeat what has been so often urged on the subject of “Universal Suffrage.” Some qualifications as respects property, residence, and citizenship, ever have, and ever will be found necessary in a civilized state of society, in order to entitle a man by his vote, to dispose of the property of others. What should we say of one, who assumed a right to direct the operations, and tax the shares of a private company of merchants, who held no stock belonging to the company?

In that invaluable digest of the principles of our government entitled “The Federalist” we find the following apprehensions expressed on this subject.

“Experience assures us that the efficacy of parchment barriers has been greatly over-rated, and that some more adequate defence is indispensably necessary, for the more feeble against the more powerful members of the government. The Legislative department is every where extending the sphere of its activity, and drawing all power into its impetuous vortex.”

If this “more adequate defence” should not be found in public opinion, our Constitution will fall, our political and civil rights will soon share its fate, and despotism in America, as in France, will at length prove our only asylum from the horrors of anarchy.

The remarks of the eloquent Mallet Du Pan, on the fate of Switzerland, corroborate these observations.

One of the most dangerous errors of those among our democrats, who are rather the deluded than the deluders, is an opinion that our attention to the affairs of government ought to be directed altogether to measures without adverting to men. But an evil tree cannot produce good fruit, neither can ignorant wrongheaded and wicked men give origin and support to measures which are beneficial to the public. Yet how often do we trust those in public station in whom we could place no confidence in private life, and how many democrats like Matthew Lyon give countenance to your Duanes and Cheethams, knowing them such as Lyon has described his “old friend,” that is entirely destitute of common honesty. Such men deserve to be made “hewers of wood and drawers of water,” as a punishment for their stupidity, lack of political honesty, and public spirit.

Mr. Burr's attempt to obtain the privilege of franking letters is an indication of the kind of freedom with which he and his party would favour the simpletons, who are capable of being lulled to repose by the syren song of Liberty and Equality.

Those men who were honoured with the confidence of their fellow-citizens and appointed to office under Washington and Adams' Administration, were selected from among their fellow-citizens, because they were known to be “honest and faithful.” Now the inquiry, as Mr. J---n's answer to the New Haven remonstrance implies, is altogether whether the candidate is of the right political sect. The demon of party brought forward the Democrats, not any intrinsic merits of their own. The same evil spirit which gave France her Marats, her Roberspieres, and her Buonaparte, has given America the tyrants who have put a period to the political existence of the Federalists, and who, as Duane has intimated, would lead them to the scaffold if they dared. If we have not virtue enough to retrace our steps and return to primitive men and measures, we may foresee in the fall of France what must be the termination of our struggles for Liberty.

Many of our luke-warm Federalists, seem disposed to slide down the steep of Democracy, without an effort to save themselves and country, from the unlimited misery which awaits such a career. They say, that Americans have not virtue enough to support a Republican Government, and that we had better remain contented under the present state of our affairs, than by exertions which must prove fruitless, to hazard the introduction of a still worse order of things. But this is very foolish reasoning. As well might a physician determine to give no medicine to allay the rage of a fever, because the disorder will have its crisis. If the efforts of the Federalists should be unremitted, they will be, at least, able to muzzle the Mammoth of Democracy, and evade much of the evil which would inevitably ensue, should the monster be suffered to roam perfectly unrestrained. But we cannot better conclude this note, than with the remarks of the Editor of the Utica Patriot, an excellent Federal Newspaper.

“The cause of Federalism, we trust, has passed its most gloomy period. The ebb tide has arrived to its utmost point, and will shortly be succeeded by a flood, which will overwhelm its enemies in one prodigious ruin. The government again in the hands of the Federalists, the wounds which have been inflicted on the constitution, would be shortly healed, the government would convalesce from its present weakness, to perfect health and vigour, and the blessings of rational liberty would again be enjoyed in their pristine purity. Then let Federalists, knowing the justice of their cause, and its importance to the salvation of their country, be animated to exertion; and let each good man and true patriot adopt for himself, the language of the Poet:

—“Here I take my stand,
Here on the brink, the very verge of liberty:
Although contention rise upon the clouds,
Mix heaven with earth, and roll the ruin onwards,
Here will I fix, and breast me to the shock,
Till I or Denmark fall.