 | Terrible tractoration, and other poems |  |
251
EULOGY ON THE TIMES.
Let poets scrawl satiric rhymes,
And sketch the follies of the times,
With much caricaturing;
But I, a bon-ton-bard, declare
A set of slanderers they are,
E'en past a Job's enduring.
And sketch the follies of the times,
With much caricaturing;
But I, a bon-ton-bard, declare
A set of slanderers they are,
E'en past a Job's enduring.
Let crabbed cynics snarl away,
And pious parsons preach and pray
Against the vices reigning;
That mankind are so wicked grown,
Morality is scarcely known,
And true religion waning.
And pious parsons preach and pray
Against the vices reigning;
That mankind are so wicked grown,
Morality is scarcely known,
And true religion waning.
Societies, who vice suppress,
May make a rumpus; ne'ertheless,
Our's is the best of ages;
Such hum-drum folks our fathers were,
They could no more with us compare,
Than Hottentots with sages.
May make a rumpus; ne'ertheless,
Our's is the best of ages;
Such hum-drum folks our fathers were,
They could no more with us compare,
Than Hottentots with sages.
252
It puts the poet in a pet
To think of THEM, a vulgar set;
But WE, thank G*d, are QUALITY!
For we have found this eighteenth century
What ne'er was known before, I'll venture ye,
Religion's no reality!
To think of THEM, a vulgar set;
But WE, thank G*d, are QUALITY!
For we have found this eighteenth century
What ne'er was known before, I'll venture ye,
Religion's no reality!
Tom Paine, and Godwin, both can tell
That there is no such thing as hell!
A doctrine mighty pleasant;
Your old-wives tales of a hereafter
Are things for ridicule and laughter,
While we enjoy the present.
That there is no such thing as hell!
A doctrine mighty pleasant;
Your old-wives tales of a hereafter
Are things for ridicule and laughter,
While we enjoy the present.
We 've nought to do, but frisk about,
At midnight ball, and Sunday rout,
And Bacchanalian revel;
To gamble, drink, and live at ease,
Our great and noble selves to please,
Nor care for man, nor devil.
At midnight ball, and Sunday rout,
And Bacchanalian revel;
To gamble, drink, and live at ease,
Our great and noble selves to please,
Nor care for man, nor devil.
In these good times, with little pains,
And scarce a penny-worth of brains,
A man with great propriety,
With some small risk of being hung,
May cut a pretty dash among
The foremost in society.
And scarce a penny-worth of brains,
A man with great propriety,
With some small risk of being hung,
May cut a pretty dash among
The foremost in society.
253
Good reader, I'll suppose, for once,
Thou art no better than a dunce,
But wishest to be famous;
I'll tell thee how, with decent luck,
Thou may'st become as great a buck
As any one could name us.
Thou art no better than a dunce,
But wishest to be famous;
I'll tell thee how, with decent luck,
Thou may'st become as great a buck
As any one could name us.
When first in high life you commence,
To virtue, reason, common sense,
You'll please to bid adieu, sir;
And, lest some brother rake be higher,
Drink, till your blood be all on fire,
And face of crimson hue, sir.
To virtue, reason, common sense,
You'll please to bid adieu, sir;
And, lest some brother rake be higher,
Drink, till your blood be all on fire,
And face of crimson hue, sir.
Thus you'll be dubb'd a dashing blade,
And, by the genteel world be said,
To be a man of spirit;
For stylish folks despise the chaps,
Who think that they may rise, perhaps,
By industry and merit.
And, by the genteel world be said,
To be a man of spirit;
For stylish folks despise the chaps,
Who think that they may rise, perhaps,
By industry and merit.
With lubric arts, and wily tongue,
Debauch some maiden, fair and young,
For that will be genteel;
Be not too scrupulous; win the fair;
Then leave the frail one to despair:
A rake should never feel.
Debauch some maiden, fair and young,
For that will be genteel;
Be not too scrupulous; win the fair;
Then leave the frail one to despair:
A rake should never feel.
254
When wine has made your courage stout,
In midnight revel sally out,
Insulting all you meet;
Play pretty pranks about the town,
Break windows, knock the watchmen down,
Your frolic to complete!
In midnight revel sally out,
Insulting all you meet;
Play pretty pranks about the town,
Break windows, knock the watchmen down,
Your frolic to complete!
Besides exhibiting your parts,
You 're sure to win the ladies' hearts
By dint of dissipation;
Since “every woman is a rake,”
A fool may know what steps to take
To gain her approbation.
You 're sure to win the ladies' hearts
By dint of dissipation;
Since “every woman is a rake,”
A fool may know what steps to take
To gain her approbation.
By practising these famous rules,
You'll gain from wicked men and fools
A world of admiration:
And, as we know from good authority,
Such folks compose a clear majority,
There needs no hesitation.
You'll gain from wicked men and fools
A world of admiration:
And, as we know from good authority,
Such folks compose a clear majority,
There needs no hesitation.
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