Revisions in Fitzgerald's Copy
- 3.1 the shore ] the pleasant shore
- 3.2 stood ] stands
- 3.4 cooled ] cool
- 3.4 stretched ] stretches
- 3.5 Now ] Lately
- 3.6 in 1925 ] a decade ago
- 3.7-8 April; in those days only ] April.
Now many bungalows cluster
near it, but when this story
begins only
- 3.17 had come ] came
- 4.8 this ] one
- 24.19 Dick's ] His
- 24.19-23 Shift this forward. ] His eyes
. . . more.
- 75 At the top of this page Fitzgerald
drew a Greek key design.
- 120.1-122.6 hour it had become ] hour
of standing. . . . It had become
- 153.18 at (L.) ] in
- 154.17 yourself. Once ] yourself—once
- 154.24 subject. No good sense." ] subject."
- 154.28 people—they were the illusions ]
people; illusions
- 155.7-9 deleted ] Moreover . . .
stranger.
- 157.7 Kraepelin ] Krapaelin
- 157.13-15 You are still a carrot-top"
Here insert description from
page 24 old numbering ] You
have the same stupid and unaging
American face, except I
know you're not stupid, Dick."
It is impossible to be sure what
Fitzgerald intended here because
he seems to have revised this
passage twice.
- 157.16 war" Dick said, "You ] war—you
- 158.5 privates ] private soldiers
- 158.10 "Toward ] "—toward
- 159.6 plateau ] eminence
- 159.12 Outside, some ] Some
- 159.13 one ] they
- 159.20 room. Pushing ] room; pushing
- 159.24 first ] first one
- 159.29 etc. etc. ] etc., etc.
- 160.1 about the ] about the time of the
- 160.16 [page] 2—Follow this form with
the breaks here ] (2)
- 160.23 [page] 3—(ect) ] (3)
- 160 *This is my mark to say I have
made final corrections up to this
point.
- 178.19-20 path; where, in a moment,
a shadow cut across it—she ] path
—where in a moment a shadow
cut across it. She
- 179.33 Bye-and-bye (?) ] By and by
- 180.22 shoulder—then apart. ] shoulder.
- 180.23 record,—Have ] record," she
said. "—Have
- 181.4 table, male eyes ] table, eyes
- 193.15 Extra space after line 15.
- 193. Lester begin here & go to end
of Chapter (2 pages)
- 212.9 Abe North ] Tommy
- 212.23-4 beach near my home above
the Mediterranean with my husband
and two children and our
dear friends ] beach with my
husband and two children.
- 362 This is DULL
- 362 You lay down the book & never
pick it up—
- 369 Tiresome stuff! True but why?
The following entry from Fitzgerald's notebooks shows the revised
structure of "The Author's Final Version" and indicates that he planned to
omit two passages: Dick's encounter with the news-vendor in Paris (actually
pp. 120-122), and the Divers' visit to Mary North Minghetti (pp.
322-341).[15] I have followed Cowley
in deleting the first of these, which necessitated making two other deletions
on page 399 (see Textual Notes). I have also followed Cowley in retaining
the Minghetti material because cutting it would leave the reader ignorant of
the reason for the bad feeling between Dick and Mary at the end of the
novel. There is no moon on page 212.[16]
Analysis of Tender:
| I |
Case History |
151-212 |
71 pps. |
(change moon) |
p. 212 |
| II |
Rosemary's Angle |
3-104 |
101 pps. |
P.3 |
| III |
Casualties |
104-148, |
213-224 |
55 pps. (-2) |
(120 & 121) |
| IV |
Escape |
225-306 |
82 pps. |
| V |
The Way Home |
306-408 |
103 pps. |
(-8) (332-341) |
