University of Virginia Library

CHAPTER II.

In treating of the early governors of
the province, I must caution my readers
against confounding them, in point of
dignity and power, with those worthy
gentlemen, who are whimsically denominated
governors in this enlightened republic—a
set of unhappy victims of
popularity, who are in fact the most
dependent, hen-pecked beings in the
community: doomed to bear the secret
goadings and corrections of their own
party, and the sneers and revilings of the
whole world beside.—Set up, like geese
at Christmas holidays, to be pelted and
shot at by every whipster and vagabond
in the land. On the contrary, the
Dutch governors enjoyed that uncontrolled
authority, vested in all commanders
of distant colonies or territories.
They were in a manner absolute despots
in their little domains, lording it, if so
disposed, over both law and gospel, and
accountable to none but the mother
country; which it is well known is astonishingly
deaf to all complaints against
its governors, provided they discharge
the main duty of their station—squeezing
out a good revenue. This hint will be
of importance, to prevent my readers
from being seized with doubt and incredulity,
whenever, in the course of this
authentic history, they encounter the uncommon
circumstance of a governor
acting with independence, and in opposition
to the opinions of the multitude.

To assist the doubtful Wouter in the
arduous business of legislation, a board
of magistrates was appointed, which presided
immediately over the police. This
potent body consisted of a schout or
bailiff, with powers between those of the
present mayor and sheriff—five burgermeesters,
who were equivalent to aldermen,
and five schepens, who officiated as
scrubs, sub-devils, or hottle-holders to the
burgermeesters; in the same manner as
do assistant aldermen to their principals
at the present day; it being their duty to
fill the pipes of the lordly burgermeesters;
to hunt the markets for delicacies for corporation-dinners;
and to discharge such
other little offices of kindness as were occasionally
required. It was, moreover,
tacitly understood, though not specifically
enjoined, that they should consider themselves
as butts for the blunt wits of the
burgermeesters, and should laugh most
heartily at all their jokes; but this last
was a duty as rarely called in action in
those days as it is at present, and was
shortly remitted entirely, in consequence
of the tragical death of a fat little schepen
—who actually died of suffocation in an
unsuccessful effort to force a laugh at one
of Burgermeester Van Zandt's best jokes.

In return for these humble services,
they were permitted to say yes and no at
the council board, and to have that enviable
privilege, the run of the public
kitchen—being graciously permitted to
eat, and drink, and smoke, at all those
snug junketings, and public gormandizings,
for which the ancient magistrates
were equally famous with their modern
successors. The post of schepen, therefore,
like that of assistant alderman, was
eagerly coveted by all your burghers of
a certain description, who have a huge
relish for good feeding, a