University of Virginia Library

9. CHAPTER IX.
PETER PUNCTUAL.

Some few years ago, Peter Punctual, an honest and
industrious young fellow from Yankee land—I say
Yankee land, but I freely confess that is merely an
inference of mine, drawn from circumstances of this
story itself; but if my readers, after perusing it, do
not come to the same conclusion, they may set him
down as coming from any other land they please; but
for myself, were I on a jury, and under oath, I would
bring him in a Yankee. This same Peter Punctual,
some few years ago, came into New York, and
attempted to turn a penny and get an honest living by
procuring subscribers to various magazines and periodicals,
on his own hook. That is, he would receive a
quantity of magazines from a distant publisher, at a

discount, and get up his own list of subscribers about
the city, and serve them through the year at the
regular subscription price, which would leave the
amount of the said discount a clear profit in his
pocket, or rather a compensation for his time and
labor. There are many persons in this city who
obtain a livelihood in the same way.

Peter's commissions being small, and his capital
still smaller, he was obliged to transact his business
with great care and circumspection, in order to make
both ends meet. He adopted a rule, therefore, to
make all his subscribers pay their year's subscription
in advance. Such things could be done in those days
when business was brisk, and the people were
strangers to “hard times.” In canvassing for subscribers,
one day, through the lower part of the city,
and in the principal business streets, he observed a
store which had the air of doing a heavy business, and
read upon the sign over the door, “Solomon Sharp,
Importer.” The field looked inviting, and in Peter
went with his samples under his arm, and inquired
for Mr. Sharp. The gentleman was pointed out to
him by the clerks, and Peter stepped up and asked
him if he would not like to subscribe for some magazines.

“What sort of ones have you got there?” said
Mr. S.

“Three or four different kinds,” said Peter, laying
the specimens on the desk before him—“please to
look at them and suit yourself.”

Sharp tumbled them over and examined them one
after another, and at last took up “Buckingham's
New England Magazine,” published at Boston.

“What are your terms for this?” said he; “I don't
know but I would subscribe for this.”

“Five dollars a year in advance,” said Peter, “to
be delivered carefully every month at your store or
house.”

“But I never pay in advance for these things,” said
Sharp. “It's time enough to pay for a thing when
you get it. I'll subscribe for it, if you have a mind
to receive your pay at the end of the year, and not
otherwise.”

“That's against my rule,” said Peter; “I have all
my subscribers pay in advance.”

“Well, it's against my rule to pay for anything
before I get it,” said Sharp; “so if you have n't a
mind to take my subscription, to be paid at the end
of the year, you won't get it at all. That's the long
and the short of the matter.”

Peter paused a little, and queried with himself as
to what he had better do. The man was evidently
doing a large business, and was undoubtedly rich—a
wholesale dealer and an importer—there could not
possibly be any danger of losing the subscription in
such a case: and would it not be better to break over
his rule for once, than to lose so good a subscriber.

“Well, what say?” said Sharp; “do as you like;
but those are my only terms. I will not pay for a
thing before I get it.”

“On the whole,” said Peter, “I have a good mind
to break over my rule this time, for I don't like to
lose a good subscriber when I can find one. I believe
I'll put your name down, sir. Where will you have
it left?”

“At my house,” said Mr. Sharp, which was about
a mile and a half from his store, away up town.

The business being thus concluded, Peter took up
his magazines, bade Mr. Sharp good morning, and
left the store. No further personal intercourse
occurred between them during the year. But Peter,
who was his own carrier, as well as canvasser, regularly
every month delivered the New England Magazine
at Mr. Sharp's door. And in a few days after
the year expired, he made out his bill for the five dollars,

and called at Mr. Sharp's store for the money.
He entered with as much confidence that he should
receive the chink at once, as he would have had in
going with a check for the like sum into the Bank of
the United States, during that institution's palmiest
days. He found Mr. Sharp at his desk, and presented
him the bill. That gentleman took it and looked at
it, and then looked at Peter.

“Oh! ah, good morning,” said he, “you are the
young man who called here on this business nearly a
year ago. Well, the year has come round, has it?”

“Yes, I believe it has,” said Peter.

“Well, bills of this kind,” said Mr. Sharp, “are
paid at the house. We don't attend to them here;
you just take it to the house, any time when you are
passing, and it will be settled.”

“Oh, very well, sir,” said Peter, bowing, and left
the store. “Doing too large a business at the store,
I suppose,” he continued, to himself, as he walked up
the street, “to attend to little things of this kind.
Don't like to be bothered with 'em, probably.”

But Peter thought he might as well make a finish
of the business, now he was out; so he went directly
to the house, and rung at the door. The servant girl
soon made her appearance.

“Mrs. Sharp within?” said Peter.

“Yes, sir,” said the girl.

“Jest carry this bill to her, if you please, and ask
her if she will hand you the money for it.”

The girl took the bill into the house, and presently
returned with the answer, that “Mrs. Sharp says she
does n't pay none of these 'ere things here—you must
carry it to the store.”

“Please to carry it back to Mrs. Sharp,” said
Peter, “and tell her Mr. Sharp desired me to bring
the bill here, and said it would be paid at the house.”

This message brought Mrs. Sharp herself to the door,
to whom Peter raised his hat and bowed very politely.

“I have n't nothing at all to do with the bills here
at the house,” said the lady; `they must be carried
to the store—that's the place to attend to them.”

“Well, ma'am,” said Peter, “I carried it to the
store, and presented it to Mr. Sharp, and he told me
to bring it to the house and you would pay it here,
and that he could n't attend to it at the store.”

“But he could n't mean that I should pay it,” said
Mrs. Sharp, “for he knows I have n't the money.”

“But he said so,” said Peter.

“Well then there must be some mistake about it,”
said the lady.

“I beg your pardon, ma'am,” said Peter, “it's
possible there may be,” and he put the bill in his
pocket, bowed, and left the house.

“It is very queer,” thought Peter to himself as he
walked away a little vexed. “I can't conceive how
there could be any mistake about it, though it is possible
there may be. There could n't be any mistake
on my part, for I'm sure I understood him. Maybe
he thought she had money at the house when she
had n't. I guess it will all come out right enough in
the end.”

Consoling himself with these reflections, Peter
Punctual thought he would let Mr. Sharp rest two or
three days, and not show any anxiety by calling again
in a hurry. He would not be so unwise as to offend
a good subscriber, and run the hazard of losing him,
by an appearance of too much haste in presenting his
bills. Accordingly, in about three days, he called
again at Mr. Sharp's store, and asked him in a low
voice, so that no one should overhear, if it was convenient
for him to take that little bill for the magazine
to-day.

“But I told you,” said Mr. Sharp, “to carry that
bill to the house; I can't attend to it here.”

“Yes, sir, so I understood you,” said Peter, “and I

carried it to the house, and Mrs. Sharp said she
could n't pay it there, for she had no money, and I
must bring it to the store.”

“Oh, strange!” said Mr. Sharp; “well, she did n't
properly understand it then. But I am too much
engaged to attend to you to-day; you call again, or
call at the house sometime, when I am there.”

Upon this, he turned to his desk and began to
write with great earnestness, and Peter left the store.
The affair began to grow a little vexations, and
Peter felt a little nettled. Still, he supposed that
people doing such very large business did find it difficult
to attend to these little matters, and doubtless it
would be set right when he should call again.

After waiting patiently a couple of weeks, Peter
called again at Mr. Sharp's store. When he entered
the door, Mr. Sharp was looking at a newspaper; but
on glancing at Peter, he instantly dropped the paper,
and fell to writing at his desk with great rapidity.
Peter waited respectfully a few minutes, unwilling to
disturb the gentleman till he should appear to be a
little more at leisure. But after waiting some time
without seeing any prospect of Mr. Sharp's completing
the very pressing business before him, he approached
him with deference, and asked if it would be convenient

for him to take that little bill for the magazine
to-day. Sharp turned and looked at Peter very sternly.

“I can't be bothered with these little things,” said
he “when I am so much engaged. I am exceedingly
busy to-day—a good many heavy orders waiting—
you must call at the house, and hand the bill to me or
my wife, no matter which.” And he turned to his
desk, and continued to write, without saying anything
more.

Peter began to think he had got hold of a hard
customer: but he had no idea of giving up the chase.

He called at the house several times afterward, but
Mr. Sharp never happened to be at home. Once he
ventured to send the bill again by the girl to Mrs.
Sharp, who returned for answer, that she had nothing
to do with such bills; he must carry it to the store.

At last, after repeated calls, he found Mr. Sharp
one day at home. He came to the door, and Peter
presented the bill. Mr. Sharp expressed some surprise
and regret that he had come away from the
store, and forgot to put any money in his pocket.
Peter would have to call some other day. Accordingly,
Peter Punctual retired, with a full determination
to call some other day, and that not very far
distant; for it had now been several months that he

had been beaten back and forth like a shuttle-cock
between Mr. Sharp's store and Mr. Sharp's house,
and he was getting to be rather tired of the game.

Having ascertained from the girl at what hour the
family dined, he called the next day precisely at the
dinner hour. He rung at the door, and when the
girl opened it, Peter stepped into the hall.

“Is Mr. Sharp in?” said Peter.

“Yes, sir,” said the girl; “he's up stairs. I'll
speak to him if you want to see him.”

“Yes,” said Peter, “and I'll take a seat in the
parlor till he comes down.”

As he said this, Peter walked into the parlor and
seated himself upon an elegant sofa. The parlor was
richly furnished with Brussels carpet, the best of
mahogany furniture, a splendid piano, &c., &c.; and
in the back parlor, to which folding doors were open,
everything appeared with corresponding elegance.
A table was there spread, upon which dinner seemed
to be nearly ready. Presently the girl returned from
the chamber, and informed Peter, that Mr. Sharp
said “it was jest the dinner hour now, and he would
have to call again.”

“Please to go and tell Mr. Sharp,” said Peter, “that
I must see him, and I'll wait till he comes down.”

The girl carried the message, and Mr. Sharp soon
made his appearance in the parlor. A frown passed
over his brow as he looked at Peter and saw him sitting
so much at ease, and apparently so much at
home, upon the sofa. Peter rose and asked him
politely if it was convenient for him to take that little
bill to-day.

“No,” said Sharp, “it is not; and if it was, I
would n't take it at this hour. It's a very improper
time to call upon such an errand just as one is going
to sit down to dinner. You must call again; but
don't call at dinner time; or you may drop into the
store sometime, and perhaps I may find time to at
tend to it there.”

“Well, now, Mr. Sharp,” said Peter, with rather a
determined look, “I can't stand this kind of business
any longer, that's a fact. I'm a poor man, and I suppose
you are a rich one. I can't afford to lose five
dollars, and I'm too poor to spend any more time in
running after it and trying to collect it. I must eat,
as well as other folks, and if you can't pay me the
five dollars to-day, to help me pay my board at my
regular boarding-house, I'll stay here and board it
out at your table.”

“You will, will you?' said Sharp, looking daggers,

and stepping toward Peter. “If you give me a word
of your impudence, you may find it'll be a long time
before you collect your bill.”

“It's been a long time already,” said Peter, “and I
can't afford to wait any longer. My mind is made
up; if you don't pay me now, I'm going to stay here
and board it out.”

Sharp colored, and looked at the door, and then at
Peter.

“Come, come, young man,” said he advancing,
with rather a threatening attitude, toward Peter, “the
sooner you leave the house peaceably the better.”

“Now, sir,” said Peter, fixing his black eyes upon
Sharp, with an intenseness that he could not but feel,
“I am a small man, and you are considerable of a
large one; but my mind is made up. I am not going
to starve, when there's food enough that I have an
honest claim upon.”

So saying, he took his seat again very deliberately
upon the sofa. Sharp paused; he looked agitated
and angry; and after waiting a minute, apparently
undecided what to do, he left the parlor and went up
stairs. In a few minutes, the servant rung for dinner.
Mrs. Sharp came into the dining room and took her
seat at the head of the table. Mr. Sharp followed,

and seated himself opposite his lady; and between
them, and on the right hand of Mrs. Sharp, sat another
lady, probably some friend or relative of the family.
When they were well seated, and Mr. Sharp was
beginning to carve, Peter walked out of the parlor,
drew another chair up to the table, and seated himself
very composedly opposite the last-mentioned lady.
Mr. Sharp colored a good deal, but kept on carving.
Mrs. Sharp stared very wildly, first at Peter and then
at her husband.

“What in the world does this mean?” said she.
“Mr. Sharp, I did n't know we were to have company
to dinner.”

“We are not,” said the husband. “This young
man has the impudence to take his seat at the table
unasked, and says he is going to board out the amount
of the bill.”

“Well, really, this is a pretty piece of politeness,”
said Mrs. Sharp, looking very hard at Peter.

“Madam,” said Peter, “hunger will drive a man
through a stone wall. I must have my board somewhere.”

No reply was made to this, and the dinner went on
without any further reference to Peter at present
Mr Sharp helped his wife, and then the other lady

and then himself, and they all fell to eating. Peter
looked around him for a plate and knife and fork, but
there were none on the table but what were in use.
Peter, however, was not to be baffled. He reached a
plate of bread, and tipping the bread upon the table
cloth, appropriated the plate for his own convenience.
He then took possession of the carving knife and fork,
helped himself bountifully to meat and vegetables,
and commenced eating his dinner with the greatest
composure imaginable. These operations on the part
of Peter, had the effect to suspend all operations for
the time on the part of the rest of the company. The
ladies had laid down their knives and forks, and were
staring at Peter in wild astonishment.

“For mercy's sake, Mr. Sharp,” said the lady of the
house, “can't we pick up money enough about the
house to pay this man his five dollars and send him
off? I declare this is too provoking. I'll see what I
can find.”

With that she rose and left the room. Mr. Sharp
presently followed her. They returned again in a
minute, and Mr. Sharp laid a five dollar bill before
Peter, and told him he would thank him to leave the
house. Peter examined the bill to see if it was a good
one, and very quietly folded it and put it into his

pocket. He then drew out a little pocket inkstand
and a piece of paper, laid it upon the table before
him, wrote a receipt for the money, which he handed
to Mr. Sharp, rose from the table, bowed to the company
and retired, thinking as he left the house that he
had had full enough of the custom of Solomon Sharp,
the importer.

Peter Punctual still followed his vocation of circulating
magazines. He had no intention of ever
darkening the door of Mr. Solomon Sharp's store
again, but somehow or other, two or three years after,
as he was canvassing for subscribers in the lower part
of the city, he happened to blunder into the same
store accidentally, without noticing the name upon
the door. Nor did he discover his mistake, until he
had nearly crossed the store and attracted the attention
of Mr. Sharp himself, who was at his accustomed
seat at the desk where Peter had before so often seen
him. Peter thought, as he had got fairly into the
store, he would not back out; so he stepped up to
Mr. Sharp without a look of recognition, and asked
if he would not like to subscribe for some magazines.
Mr. Sharp, who either did not recognize Peter, or
chose not to appear to recognize him, took the magazines
and looked at them, and found a couple he said

he would like to take, and inquired the terms. They
were each three dollars a year in advance.

“But I don't pay in advance for anything,” said
Sharp. “If you have a mind to leave them at my
house, to be paid for at the end of the year, you may
put me down for these two.”

“No,” said Peter, “I don't wish to take any subscribers,
but those who pay in advance.”

Saying this, he took up his specimens, and was
going out the door, when Mr. Sharp called him
back.

“Here young man, you may leave these two at any
rate,” said he, “and here's your advance,” handing
him the six dollars.

“Where will you have them left?” said Peter.

“At my house, up town,” said Mr. Sharp, describing
the street and number.

The business being completed, Peter retired, much
astonished at his good luck. He again became a
monthly visitor at Mr. Sharp's door, where he regularly
delivered to the servant girl the two magazines.
Two or three months after this, when he called one
day on his usual round, the girl told him that Mr.
Sharp wanted to see him, and desired he would call
at the store. Peter felt not a little curious to know

what Mr. Sharp might have to say to him; so in the
course of the same day he called at Mr. Sharp's
store.

“Good morning,” said Mr. Sharp as Peter entered;
“come, take a chair, and sit down here.”

Peter, with a “good morning, sir,” did as he was
desired.

“Ain't you the young man,” said Mr. Sharp, with
a comical kind of a look, “who set out to board out
a subscription to the New England Magazine at my
house two or three years ago.”

“Yes,” said Peter, “I believe I'm the same person
who once had the honor of taking board at your
house.”

“Well,” said Mr. Sharp, “I want to give you a
job.”

“What is it?” said Peter.

“Here, I want you to collect these bills for me,”
said Mr. Sharp, taking a bundle from his desk, “for
I'll be hanged if I can; I've tried till I'm tired.”

Whereupon he opened the bundle and assorted out
the bills, and made a schedule of them, amounting,
in the aggregate, to about a thousand dollars.

“There,” said he, “I will give upon that list ten
per cent. commission on all you collect; and on that

list I'll give you twenty-five per cent. on all you collect.
What say you? will you undertake the job?”

“Well, I'll try,” said Peter, “and see what I can
do with them. How soon must I return them?”

“Take your own time for it,” said Mr. Sharp;
“I've seen enough of you to know pretty well what
you are.”

Peter accordingly took the bills and entered on his
new task, following it up with diligence and perseverance.
In a few weeks he called again at Sharp's
store.

“Well,” said Mr. Sharp, “have you made out to
collect anything on those bills?”

“Yes,” said Peter.

“There were some of the ten per cent. list that I
thought it probable you might collect,” said Mr.
Sharp. “How many have you collected?”

“All of them,” said Peter.

“All of them!” said Mr. Sharp; “well, fact, that's
much more than I expected. The twenty-five per
cent. list was all dead dogs, was n't it? You got
nothing on them, I suppose, did you?”

“Yes, I did,” said Peter.

“Did you though? How much?” said Sharp.

“I got them all,” said Peter.

“Oh, that's all a joke,” said Sharp.

“No, it is n't a joke,” said Peter. “I've collected
every dollar of them, and here's the money,” taking
out his pocket-book, and counting out the bills.

Mr. Sharp received the money with the most perfect
astonishment. He had not expected one-half of
the amount would ever be collected.

He counted out the commissions on the ten per cent.
list, and then the commissions on the twenty-five per
cent. list, and handed the sum over to Peter. And
then he counted out fifty dollars more, and asked Peter
to accept that as a present; “partly,” said he, “because
you have accomplished this task so very far beyond
my expectations, and partly because my acquaintance
with you has taught me one of the best lessons of my
life. It has taught me the value of perseverance and
punctuality. I have reflected upon it much ever
since you undertook to board out the bill for the
magazine at my house.”

“Why yes,” said Peter, “I think perseverance and
punctuality are great helps in the way of business.”

“If every person in the community,” said Mr.
Sharp, “would make it a point to pay all of his bills
promptly, the moment they become due, what a vast
improvement it would make in the condition of

society all round. That would put people in a condition,
at all times, to be able to pay their bills promptly.”

We might add, that Peter Punctual afterward
opened a store in the city, in a branch of business
which brought Mr. Sharp to be a customer to him,
and he has been one of his best customers ever since,
paying all of his bills promptly, and whenever Peter
requires it, even paying in advance.