University of Virginia Library

46. CHAPTER XLVI.
HOW PORGY FEASTED THE CAPTAINS.

With vulgar people, a dinner party is the occasion of much
fuss and fidgeting. The vulgar egotism is always on the qui
vive lest something should go wrong — lest something should be
wanting to the proper effect — lest, in brief, some luckless
excess or deficiency should certainly convey to the guest the
secret of those deficiencies, in taste, manners, experiences, and
resources, which would, if known, be fatal to the claims of good
breeding and high ton which the host is most anxious to establish.
Those, on the contrary, who feel assured on such points
are apt to take the events of a dinner-table coolly and with
comparative indifference. A blunder or a deficiency of steward
or servant, occasions little or no concern; is never allowed to
disturb the equilibrium of the master, who takes for granted
that such small matters will be ascribed, by every sensible
guest, to the right cause; and for the opinion of all other persons
he cares not a button.

The result of this equanimity is to enable him to keep his
mind “in hand” for the entertainment of his company. He is
able to observe and to minister with promptness and full resource,
as his wits are not disordered by any feverish workings
of his amour propre. He sees what is wanting at a glance;
supplies the deficiency with a nod; his servants are duly taught
in the value of his nod and glance; and the skill of the host,
by which the guests are diverted, enables Jack and Gill to wipe
up the water which they have spilt so awkwardly, in their
uphill progress, without attracting any notice — without filling
the scene with most admired disorder.

Our host knows his company, and conjures up the special
topic which appeals directly to the tastes or the fancies of each.

He is vigilant even while he seems most at ease; when his indifference
is most apparent, it is made to cover a becoming
solicitude for the comfort of the humblest person present. He
provides himself with the proper cue to all your prejudices and
affections, as by a divine instinct, so that he steers clear of the
one, and shapes his course directly for the other; and when the
waters are unluckily ruffled, by some bull-headed companion.
who treads on his neighbor's toes without even suspecting that
he has corns, our host is at hand to pour oil upon the troubled
waters, and soothe to calm the temper which is ruffled. He
contrives, at the same time, that the offender shall be taught the
nature of his offence, without being brought up to the halberds
and set in pillory,

There was nothing doubtful about the aplomb of Captain
Porgy. Having prepared his feast according to the full extent
of his resources; drilled his awkward squad to the utmost of his
capacity and their susceptibilities; seen that they were in sufficient
numbers for proper attendance; and made, in brief, all
his preparations, he gave himself no further concern, but prepared
to receive his guests, with the easy good nature, the
frank politeness, the smiling grace, of an old-school gentleman.
And it is quite an error to talk, as we are apt to do, of the formality
of the old-school gentleman. The gentleman of two
hundred or one hundred years ago, differed very slightly in his
bearing from the same class at the present day. In due degree
as his ceremonials ran into formalities, did he lose the character
of the gentleman. In no period was mere form and buckram
ever confounded, by sensible people, with politeness and refinement.

Never was gentleman more perfectly at ease in crowded assembly,
yet more solicitous of the claims of all about him, than
our corpulent captain. His shrewd good sense, nice tastes,
playful humors, and frank spirit, all harmonizing happily, enabled
him to play the host generally to the equal satisfaction of
all his company. He had the proper welcome for each as he
drew nigh; the proper word, which set each person at his ease,
and prepared him for the development of all his conversational
resources.

Among the first of his guests to appear were Governor
Rutledge and General Greene. “The really great,” said Porgy
to Lance Frampton who stood behind him, “never keep the
table waiting.”

The approach to the scene was through a great natural avenue
of lofty green pines, through which the moon was peeping curiously
with a bright smile, a disinterested spectator of the proceedings.
Music timed the approaches of the guests, the army
band having been secured for the evening. Porgy welcomed
his guests at the entrance of the area in which his tables had
been spread.

“General Greene, Captain Porgy,” said Rutledge. Greene
took the outstretched hand of the host, saying:—

“What I have heard of you, Captain Porgy, makes me trespass
without fear of the consequences.”

“And what I know of General Greene enables me to welcome
him with every hope of the consequences. I am very grateful
to Governor Rutledge for doing that which, as a poor captain
of militia, I should scarcely have ventured to do myself.”

“I knew my customers both, my dear captain,” said Rutledge,
“and knew how little was necessary to render the regular
and volunteer service grateful to each other.”

“Be seated, gentlemen,” said Porgy, “while I put myself on
duty for a while;” and he resumed his place at the opening of
the avenue, while Sumter, Marion, and the rest severally presented
themselves, were welcomed and conducted to the interior
by young Frampton, who did the duties of an aid. Colonel
Lee was among the latest to appear.

“My dear Porgy,” said he condescendingly — “I am late;
but the cavalry of the legion is on vigilant duty to-night, and
a good officer you know — eh!”

And he left it to our host to conceive the rest.

“Col. Lee may be forgiven, if late among his friends, when we
know that his enemies rarely reproach him for a like remissness.”

The grace of Porgy's manner happily blended with the grave
dignity of his address. Lee smiled at the compliment:—

“Always ready, Porgy — never to be outdone in the play of
compliment, or the retort courteous;” and while speaking he
was ushered in with other visiters.

The company was at length assembled. The music ceased.
A single bugle sounded from the amphitheatre, and the guests
disposed themselves without confusion under the whispered
suggestions of Lieutenant Frampton. Porgy took his place at
the head of the table, standing, till all were seated.

“Gentlemen,” said he, “be pleased to find places at the
board. Colonel Singleton, you are my vis-a-vis. Governor
Rutledge will you honor me by sitting at my right. General
Greene, I have presumed to assign you the seat at my left.”

Right and left of Singleton, Marion and Sumter were placed.
At one end of the table crossing the centre of the board, Colonel
Lee was seated, Colonel Maham occupied the other. Carrington,
Horry, Mellichampe, St. Julien, and others found places between
these several termini. Scarcely had they been seated
when four great calabash tureens were placed severally at the
extremities, the odorous vapors from which appealed gratefully
to every nostril in company.

“Turtle soup!” was the delighted murmur.

“And lemons!”

And as the smoking vessels were set before the governor and
General Greene, the former exclaimed:—

“Faith, Captain Porgy, your last voyage to the West Indies
seems to have been a highly prosperous adventure.”

“In truth,” said Greene, “I am half inclined to think that
there must have been some such enterprise, of which General
Marion has forgotten to apprize me.”

“I begin seriously to suspect him,” said Rutledge. “The
fact is that General Marion is so fond of secret enterprises, and
audacious ones — does things with so much despatch, and thinks
it so easy to do the impossible, that I half believe he has made
a three nights' run for the Havana, or sent off a favorite squad
on a sortie in that direction. Say, general, is it not so? Let us
know the truth of it. You found, among your captures at
Georgetown, some ready-rigged sloop or schooner, and sent her
out on a cruise in anticipation of this very occasion.”

“Nay, governor, the merits of the enterprise, such as it was,
and the fruits thereof, are due entirely to our host. It was his
adventure wholly, though we share the spoils.”

“But, where — where — where —” began Peter Horry, stuttering,

“where the devil did he — did he — get 'em — turtles and
lemons! I don't — don't — understand it — at all.”

“Better not press the inquiry, Horry,” said Singleton with a
sly smile upon the company — “the discovery will hardly add
to your own laurels.”

“How — my laurels! What — what — I want to — to know
— have my laurels — to do — to do — with the matter?”

“Let's have it, Colonel Singleton,” said Rutledge eagerly.
“Out with the story. Colonel Horry is so seldom to be caught
napping that I shall rejoice to have one story at his expense.”

“Ay, ay, the story, Singleton,” from a dozen voices around
the board.

“Tell — tell — tell, if you will,” stuttered Horry —“only be
sure, and tell — the — the truth, and shame — you know —
who.”

“The adventure illustrates the military character of the two
gentlemen most admirably,” said Singleton. “Colonel Horry
is a gentleman of large eyes and grapples with objects of magnitude
always. It is Captain Porgy's pleasure to be discriminating
and select. The lemons and a variety of other edibles are
furnished, unwillingly, I grant you, by Lord Rawdon himself.
They form a part of the supplies brought up by Colonel Stewart.
In dashing at Stewart's convoy, Horry passed a mean little
wagon in the rear, as quite unworthy his regards. He swept
off as you know three or four others of considerable value to
the army. But the very littleness of this wagon which Horry
had despised, fixed the regards of our host. He quietly possessed
himself of it, and was rewarded with the private stores
designed for Lord Rawdon himself.” The story produced a
laugh at the expense of Horry.

“Who—who — who — the devil,” said he, would have thought
— of — of — anything good in — that rickety concern? I'd like
to know, Captain Porgy, what you got besides the lemons?”

“White sugars, coffee, tea, spices, Spanish sweetmeats, preserved
ginger, three kegs of Jamaica, and a goodly variety
besides!”

“The d—l! — and — and — I to miss 'em all.”

“But you got loads of bacon and flour, Horry.”

“Several bales of blankets.”

“Ay, and a bathing-tub and complete set of chamber crockery!”

“What,” said Rutledge, “was there a bathing-tub and chamber
crockery?”

“Yes, indeed.”

“Who could have wanted that, I wonder?”

“Some young ensign of the buffs or blues,” said Porgy,
“whose mother was duly considerate of the young man's skin
in a warm climate. You should have discovered Colonel Horry's
visage when that wagon was burst open and the contents revealed.
The bathing-tub and furniture filled the wagon.”

“What did he say, Porgy? Tell us that!”

“Say! Ah! What was it, colonel? Deliver it yourself:
nobody can repeat it half so well.”

“Re — re — repeat it yourself, if you can!” said Horry stuttering
and dipping up his soup with increased rapidity.

“Out with it, Captain Porgy. Horry's speech.”

Porgy nodded to Singleton, who answered: —

“I heard it, and as Horry permits will deliver it. He said,
stamping his feet in a rage: `Throw out the d—d basins, and
break up the blasted tub. Who would have thought of any
fellow being such a bloody booby as to bring a bathing-tub and
chamber crockery into a pond and bush country?'”

And slightly imitating the stammer of Horry so as to give a
lively idea of his manner, Singleton set the table in a roar.
When the laugh had subsided: —

“But did he break up the crockery, Porgy?”

“Every bowl and basin. He was merciless. You never
saw such havoc. His broadsword played elephant in the crockery
shop to perfection, and the dragoons, delighted with the
humors of their colonel, went into the work of demolition with a
rush.”

“I had — no — no — no use for the d—d — d—d —
d—d things,” said Horry; “and I was — de — de — de —
termined to give the d—d puppy that owned them a lesson.”

“Ha! ha! ha!”

“But where did the turtles come from?”

“From the genius of my cook, Tom,” said Porgy. “The
turtle are terrapin from the Caw-caw.”

“Not the alligator terrapin, captain, I hope,” said Sumter.
“I could never bring myself to eat any of that order.”

“You have done it on this occasion,” said Porgy.

“And very effectually too, general,” said Singleton, “since
I have helped you to a second supply, and you seem in a fair
way to need a third.”

Sumter looked a little blank.

“Do not be discomfited, general,” said Porgy, “since I took
the precaution to have all their tails cut off before they were
hashed up for the soup.”

“But what did you do with the tails?”

“Ah! they were made into balls, with a due proportion of
beef and bacon.”

“You have caught me beyond escape, captain, since I confess
to have done as much execution on the balls as on the soup.”

“And you are surprised into a wisdom, general, that has
cured you of the prejudices of twenty years! What we call
the alligator terrapin is the best of the tribe — the fattest, richest,
best flavored. It requires only that skill in the dressing
which my man Tom supplies.”

The bugle sounded. Sergeant Millhouse marshalled the waiters
to their stations, and the emptied vessels were removed.
With another blast of the bugle, new dishes were set on the
table.

“A noble-looking fish,” said Greene. “What fish is this,
Captain Porgy?”

“The greatest delicacy of a fresh-water river, this is the
Edisto blue cat — for very nice people a most discouraging
name. — Gentlemen, look to yourselves. Here is boiled fish,
such as George the Third can not procure; dressed in a style
which would not discredit the table of our great ally, the king
of France. Men of goût will of course prefer the boiled — for
the undeveloped taste, the fry is abundant. There are perch
and trout in those several dishes. They are all fresh from the
Edisto within five hours.”

“Your troopers have been busy, captain.”

“Ay, sir, and my cook. He was fortunate in his search
along the river this morning, to come upon three or four fish-traps,
which he emptied without leave. Governor, the melted

butter is beside you. By-the-way, those naval biscuit are also
from the stores of my Lord Rawdon. — General, do not dream
of defiling that fish with vinegar. It is an abomination in this
case. The fish only entreats the butter, and the dressing is
complete.”

The eye of Porgy swept the table. The guests discussed
the fish with the relish of starving men. There was a cessation.
The finger of Porgy was lifted. Millhouse's bugle gave tongue,
and the fish was superseded with a variety of dishes.

“General Greene — Governor Rutledge — suffer me to persuade
you both to the ragout which is before me.”

“What is it, captain?”

“Try it, general. It is the alerta — the green alerta — a sort
of chicken you will find it, but far superior. The stew is of
the lagarta, according to the Spaniards, and a dish quite as
rare as exquisite on table. Gentlemen, interspersed with these
dishes you will find more familiar, but inferior ones. There
are hams and tongues, both from the stores of Lord Rawdon,
and, in fact, most of this course will be found of foreign character.
You will please ask me for no more revelations touching
my mode of procuring supplies, as I have no wish to expose the
breaking of any more crockery. It is not every one of our partisans
who can bear, with so much equanimity as Colonel
Horry, the story of his own acquisitions, and how made.”

“This — what do you call it?” said Greene.

“Alerta!”

“Is delicious!”

“And nothing could be more savory than this stew, Captain
Porgy.”

“Yes, indeed, governor — the Spaniards have the merit of
the discovery. But gentlemen, with this course, it is time to
spiritualize the feast.”

The speaker's finger was uplifted, and two enormous bowls of
punch were set down at the two ends of the table.

“Gentlemen, we owe a great deal to the providence of Lord
Rawdon.”

“And the improvidence of Horry,” whispered Rutledge, “for,
of a verity, had he captured these spoils, he would never have
made the same use of them as our host has done.”

“Sir,” said Porgy with solemnity, “he would have wasted
them — naked, upon his dragoons. — Gentlemen, you will please
fill for a sentiment. Colonel Singleton see that your end of the
table charges duly.”

“We are ready, captain.”

Porgy rising: —

“Gentlemen, our first regular sentiment: `The cause of
Liberty — the cause of the American continent — the cause of
all continents wherever man has a living soul!'”

“Music.” And the bands struck up.

“Captain Porgy,” said Lee, “send me, if you please, a second
supply of that dish which you call the alerta. I don't know
what sort of bird it is, but the savor is that of young pigeons.
It is wonderfully nice.”

“I agree with you, Lee,” said Colonel Williams, “though I
have no more idea what the bird is than of the mansions of the
moon. Let me trouble you also, Captain Porgy.”

“I must also trespass, captain,” said Carrington. “Ordinarily,
I seldom suffer myself to eat of dishes of which I know
nothing; but these foreign meats come to us under good guaranties,
though half the time without a name at all.”

“Unless French, which is so much Greek to me,” said Maham.
“Captain, that lagarta stew is princely.”

“No crowned head in Europe enjoys the like. Shall I help
you, Colonel Maham?”

“Thank you, yes. But I thought you called it foreign.”

“So it is — in one sense; but this is not imported. It is
wholly domestic.”

“Well, foreign or domestic, it is first rate,” said Greene. “I
will try a little more of it, Captain Porgy.”

“Ah! general,” — with a smile — “suffer me to say that it
is only in the militia service, after all, that the taste properly
refines. Governor, shall I serve you?”

“Thank you, I will mince a little of your lagarta, captain,”
and a sly glance of Rutledge apprized the captain of his suspicions.
But the face of Porgy made no revelations.

“Gentlemen,” said Singleton, at the other end of the table,
“fill your glasses.”

“Ready, all,” said Porgy.

Singleton rose, and gave:—

“South Carolina — almost freed from the footstep of the foreign
tyrant, and rising to the full assertion of her own sovereignty!”

A brilliant burst from John Rutledge, brief, but like a fiery
tongue speaking to the soul, followed this sentiment; and the
music rose into a triumphant peal as his voice died away upon
the echoes. Other sentiments succeeded other speeches; Rutledge,
Greene, Marion, Sumter, Lee, were all duly honored with
toasts, and all responded, each after his own fashion, all unaffectedly,
simply, and with the proper earnestness of soldiers. And
the punch flowed anew into fresh goblets, and the merriment
grew high, and some of the grave barons began to sing in
snatches, and the volunteer toasts filled up the pauses in the
conversation. Meanwhile, a score of melons were placed upon
the board, and the preserved fruits from the West Indies,
guava and ginger, were crowded upon the board, and provoked
new merriment at the expense of Rawdon, who lost, and
Horry who refused to find the prize.

And while they gashed deeply the purple centres of the
melons, Rutledge suddenly said to Porgy:—

“And now, captain, that you have had your triumph, that
all present have borne testimony in the least equivocal manner
to the merits of your feast, I would fain know of what those foreign
dishes were compounded, of which, knowing nothing, all
have partaken so freely. Hams and tongues, fresh from Britain,
designed for my Lord Rawdon's own table, have been sent
away from yours uncut — proof of homage, the most profound,
to yet preferable meats. Pray tell us, then, what were the elements
of your lagarta and your alerta — your ragouts and
stews.”

“Ay, ay,” seconded the company, “let us know. What
were the birds?”

“I should really be pleased to know, Captain Porgy,” said
General Greene, bowing, “touching those birds.”

“There need be no mystery in it now, general, since, as
Governor Rutledge says, the feast has triumphed. But I am
afraid I shall too greatly confound you, when I state that the
dishes contained no birds at all. The stew of alerta was compounded

chiefly of the race which helped Homer in the construction
of an epic — a race which Milton describes as the —

“You surely do not mean frogs, Captain Porgy?” cried Lee,
with affected horror in his accents.

“Your guess is a sagacious one, and worthy of the legion,
Colonel Lee.”

“Good heavens! and is it come to this, that the soldiers of
liberty should be reduced to the necessity of frog-eating?”

“Necessity, Colonel Lee!” exclaimed Rutledge. “By
heavens, sir, it should be matter of taste and preference, sir,
if only in due deference to our great Gallic ally; but, of a
truth, sir, after to-day's feast, it should be a new argument in
behalf of liberty, that she has brought us to such rare fine feeding
and such improved tastes.”

“And the other dish, Captain Porgy,” demanded Sumter,
“the stew with the Spanish name?”

“The name speaks for itself — lagarta. It is of the great
lizard family — the cayman — in vulgar speech, the alligator.
But the specimens employed, gentlemen, were mere juveniles;
young vagabonds, whose affectionate parents had hardly suffered
them out of sight before. They had probably never fed on
larger prey than their neighbors of the alerta family.”

“One question, Captain Porgy,” said Carrington; “be so
good as to inform me, if, among your several unfamiliar dishes,
I have had the happiness to eat of the rattlesnake, the viper,
the moccasin, or the boa-constrictor?”

“Alas! colonel, I grieve to say that you have not. I should
have been pleased to have got a couple of young chicken-snakes,
but I was not fortunate in the search. We got glimpse of a few
runners [black-snakes], but they were quite too swift of foot for
the hunters. The chicken-snake is of unexceptionable tenderness;
the runner is a little too muscular, if not previously well
sodden; but, unless near a hencoop, or a corncrib, it is not easy
to find the chicken-snake. I repeat my regrets that I could not
secure this delicacy for my table. But another time, Colonel
Carrington, should you sup with me, I will make a special
effort in your behalf.”

“I thank you, sir; do not suffer your regrets to disturb you.
For that matter, I am half doubtful whether your alerta and
lagarta, of which I have, in my ignorance, partaken somewhat
too freely, will continue to lie lightly on my soul or stomach.”

“Have no fears, sir; and the better to secure their repose,
do me the honor, sir, of a bowl of punch with me. Gentlemen,
I entreat the whole table to our companionship.”

And the vessels were filled and emptied.

“And now, gentlemen,” continued the host, I give you —
`The poets, who minister at once to Apollo, to Bacchus, and to
Mars, and beg to introduce you to the only representative of
the faculty in our squadron, Mr. George Dennison, my ensign.
If I mistake not, he has been this day as busy with the muse,
as I with my cook; and, if we will suffer him, he will bring us
gifts from Parnassus not unworthy of those which we have enjoyed
from the provision-wagon of Lord Rawdon.”

“In which Horry, going from Dan to Beersheba, could see
nothing.”

“Having a taste for baths, warming-pans, and chamber-furniture.”

“'Nough of that — that — Singleton! I — I — I'm a sinner
be — be — beyond salvation, if I ever pass a little mean-looking
wagon again, without seeing what's in it.”

“But — Mr. Dennison,” said Rutledge.

“George! Geordie!” said Porgy, good-humoredly. The
poet, hitherto the only silent person at table, now rose — a tall,
slender person, of bright, lively eye, mouth full of expression,
Grecian nose, and great forehead rising up like a tower. His
cheeks were flushed, his frame trembled, and there was an evident
quivering of the lip which was discernible to every eye
about him. Dennison sang the verses, which he wrote, in a
clear, military voice, shrill like a clarion. There was, perhaps,
no great deal of music in his composition, but enough for the
present purpose, and of the kind best suited, perhaps, for a
military gathering — bold, free, eager and full of animation.
His ballad had been the work of that very afternoon.

He had no prefaces. But, waiting till the music hushed, and
the voices, he then began:—

THE BATTLE FEAST.

It was in the midst of the compliments of the party to the
poet, that Willie Sinclair stole in to the table, and plucked the
sleeve of Marion, who rose quickly and quietly, and went out
with him in silence. The company sat at the table some time
longer.

“Why your poet seems a genuine Birserker, Captain Porgy.
This chant was worthy to be sung in the hall of Odin. Does
he fight as bravely as he sings.”

“Every bit, sir, and he goes into battle with the same convulsive
sort of tremor with which he begins to sing or to recite.
But that passes off in a few moments, and then he fairly rages.
In fact, sir, it is not easy for him to arrest himself, and he
sometimes shows himself rather too savage in strife — with
rather too great an appetite for blood.”

“You are as fortunate, Captain Porgy, in your poet as your
cook; I would I could persuade them from you!— Who?— Do
you say?”

These last words were spoken to Lieutenant Frampton, who
had whispered something into Rutledge's ear.

“Colonel Sinclair, your excellency. He waits you without,
along with General Marion.”

“Instantly”— and, watching his opportunity, while beakers
were filling, Rutledge stole away. Greene followed his example,
so did Sumter and the elder officers; the young ones remained,
and soon Captain Porgy, his veneration no longer
active, was in full flight, keeping the table in a roar, with
merry jest, jibe, and story, till the hours grew something smaller
than the stars, and the moon had a hooded, downcast looking
visage, as if she had seen or heard something to shock her
modesty. Let us leave the revellers while they make a final
onslaught upon the punchbowls.