University of Virginia Library

28. XXVIII.
Wash Fudge Runs Extreme Danger.

I LEFT my cousin Wash in an embarrassing
position. It certainly can be no agreeable
thing for a young man of even stronger nerve than
my cousin Wash to be discovered in furtive travel
with the wife of another individual. And surely,
such discovery must be particularly disagreeable,
when, as in the present instance, the aggrieved
party is an expert swordsman, and an ardent lover
of pistol-practice.

By what means Colonel Duprez had informed
himself of the movements of the parties, and stolen
a march upon the Countess and her benevolent companion,
it is not necessary here to state. The Colonel

had been grossly offended; his manner gave
evidence of this. He was calm, however; and
having coolly turned the key in the door-lock, he
drew a pistol from a side-pocket, and directing it
towards Master Fudge, urged him to make such
confessions as he had to make, at once.

The Countess in terror rushed before her husband;
and Washington, growing pale, drew towards
the bell-rope. The Countess observed this movement,
and in the midst of her distress, retained her
usual prudence. She entreated him not to alarm
the house: her character and his own were at
stake. She implored the Colonel to forbear his
rage, and to listen to reason.

The Colonel, however, so far from abating his
indignation, only multiplied his imprecations, and
swore he would have the blood of his betrayer
before he left the room.

Washington seemed not disposed to increase the
indignation of the injured man by any bravado,
or indeed by remarks of any kind. His hopes
all lay in the judicious management of the
Countess.

“Villain,” said the Colonel, in a voice of thunder,
“what have you to say for yourself?”

I am sorry to report that Wash received the
inquiry with more meekness than was altogether

becoming under the circumstances. He intimated
that the Countess would explain.

“Oh! ho!” said the Colonel, very distrustfully,
“it is the Countess, is it; a pretty story she will
tell! Well, madame” (addressing the unfortunate
lady, just now recovering from a short fit of hysterics),
“what, pray, have you to say, why I should
not put a bullet through the heart of this precious
young villain, or hand him over to the police?”

“Ah! rash man!” said the afflicted Countess,
“wretched, unhappy woman that I am!” and
yielded again to her agonized feelings.

“So,” said the Colonel, “is this all?” and he
directed his pistol again very deliberately at the
trembling Wash.

“For God's sake, madame,” said Wash, “do tell
the Colonel how it all happened; and that I never
had a thought of”—

“Ah!” interrupted the Colonel, with a frightful
leer at his victim, “you may stop! A pleasant
little trip you had marked out for yourselves; something
wider than a turn in the Bois de Boulogne!
How is it, Madame la Comtesse?”

The Countess had recovered sufficiently to begin
her story. She related how, by accident she had
discovered her kinship with the family of Mr.
Fudge.

“Parbleu!” said the Colonel; but in a way
expressing considerable suspicion.

The Countess went on to mention the hopes that
had been raised of recovering some portion of the
estates of her maternal ancestry. She suggested
that the assistance of Washington, which had been
most generously offered to her, would be essential
in a strange country. She had feared the impetuosity
and warmth of the Colonel's temperament;
and had rashly undertaken the journey without his
knowledge or consent. She did hope that he would
forgive such a lapse from duty, and yield to a short
separation, from which so much was to be hoped.

“Very good, madame,” said the Colonel, “elle est
très belle, l'histoire que vous me contez là, but did it
ever occur to your precious cousin to leave some
guarantee with your family on this side the water,
that he was acting in good faith, and was not
throwing the foulest suspicion of dishonor upon
a nearer member of your family, madame, who has
the honor to call himself, par exemple, le Colonel
Duprez? Parbleu!”

The mention of a guarantee encouraged Wash;
he recalled a previous escape from very embarrassing
circumstances; hope might lie open for him
now in the same direction. It is true his funds
were at the very lowest ebb; and Solomon had

positively refused to pay any further drafts upon
him. But the present was a case of life and death;
even if he escaped the personal anger of the Colonel,
the best he could hope for was a French prison,
for an indefinite period of time, except matters were
now arranged by the Countess.

He waited with more composure the issue of
events. The Colonel played nervously with the
lock of his pistol.

“Cruel man!” said the Guerlin, “will nothing
satisfy you?”

“Mais oui,” returned the Colonel, “it will satisfy
me to have a quiet shot at the young Fudge yonder,
at twenty paces; after which, Madame la Comtesse,
we will return to our Paris ménage.”

Wash grew alarmed again.

The Countess came to his relief.

“And the estate; was it all to be given up?”

“Mon Dieu!” said the Colonel, carelessly; “is it
large?”

“Three hundred thousand francs.”

“Très bien; and your cousin Fudge thinks it a
secure thing?”

Wash, at this stage, did not venture to express
any distrust.

“And his assistance will be necessary?”

There could be no doubt of that.

“Very good. Mr. Fudge will not object, then,
to advance a certain sum to secure against any
losses on your part, by so long a voyage; and an
additional gage to me personally, that he is acting
in good faith, and not with any dishonorable
intent. You perceive, madame, that I am reasonable.
Parbleu!”

The Countess turned to Wash: “Cher Wash,
what is to be done?”

The Colonel clicked the pistol-lock in a rather
sportive manner. The Countess and her young
cousin consulted together. The Colonel recommended
rapid decision. For his own part, he was
quite indifferent. He should feel reluctant to inform
against Mr. Fudge for his extraordinary conduct;
he should prefer to settle affairs with him en homme
d'honneur. As for the estate across the water, if, in
view of the handsome sum to be realized, Mr. Fudge
was disposed to place in his hands twenty thousand
francs, he would consent to their leave. Madame la
Comtesse could refund such advance, upon the settlement
of the estate.

Wash grew pale again; the Guerlin exclaimed
against the Colonel's extravagant demand. But
that gentleman was very cool; he seated himself
by the door, and amused himself as before, with trying
the force of his very effective-looking pistol-lock.

There was even a doubt in the mind of Wash, if his
Paris banker would cash at present so large a draft.

The Colonel suggested that this was a matter
easily determined by inquiry. It was found, in fact,
that the banker, or his agents, did not object.
Washington met the exigency with more dignity
than he had met the previous suggestions of Colonel
Duprez. Indeed, he drew upon Mr. Solomon
Fudge for twenty thousand francs, with a firm hand.

It is not my opinion, however, that it was a
transaction upon which he reflected with great pleasure.
It did occur to him that he was doing a
wrong to one to whom he was very largely indebted.
However, Mr. Solomon Fudge, or Mrs. Phœbe
Fudge, would, he felt sure, prefer an annoyance of
this kind, to the intelligeuce that he was lodged in
a French prison-house, or stretched upon the tables
of la morgue, with a heart riddled by a pistol-shot
of Colonel Duprez.

He consoled himself, then, with the reflection
that he had chosen the least of the evils which
hedged him in; without observing (it may be
remarked) that he had marched of his own will,
and in a very straight line, into the toils which
beset him.

It is a very gratifying thing to be “a man of the
world” early; particularly in such a city as Paris,

where the aspirants to the fore-mentioned attainment
are very numerous. But it is my opinion,
that it costs dear; not to the pocket only, but to
everything else that a sound-minded man likes to
carry about with him.

Paris is, to be sure, a delightful place; but a
man may stay too long there—more especially, if he
has no more definite occupation than to amuse himself.
It seems a good spot to refine metal which is
tough by nature; but what is tender, is apt to
waste there. The fires in which steel is tempered,
would consume a pewter vessel utterly.

A man should think well, before he sends a son,
in whom he has any high hopes, to the metropolis
of Europe. It may accomplish him, to be sure;
and it may prove his damnation. Most of all, is the
place dangerous for those who aim merely at a position
in the boudoir-talk of the day, and who would
peril every manlier faculty for a triumph in those
things which will surprise by their license. These,
to be sure, will give elegant scandal in our cities,
and a day's boast; but they do not last. A faith
in to-morrow, is better than a blaze to-day.

The elegant Wash Fudge, and the accomplished
Countess de Guerlin, sailed together for New-York.
The Colonel Duprez waved them an adieu. I am
persuaded that he did it in a cordial manner.