University of Virginia Library

4. IV.
Wishes, Ways, and Means.

I HAVE a fear that many will have already misconceived
Mrs. Fudge's character: they will set
her down in their own minds as a vain, careless
woman, with no definite purpose in life.

Mrs. Fudge has a purpose. Ever since she
ceased to be a Bodgers, and began to be a Fudge,
she has cherished this purpose. Ever since she left
Newtown for a life in the city; ever since she
eschewed the Baptist persuasion for the refinements
of Dr. Muddleton's service; ever since she
pestered her husband into a remove from Wooster
street to the Avenue, a gigantic purpose has been

glowing within her. That purpose has been to
erect herself and family into such a position as
would provoke notice and secure admiration.
There may be worthier purposes, but there are
few commoner ones. Mrs. Fudge is to be commended
for the pertinacity with which she has
guarded this purpose, and measurably for her
success.

Wealth Mrs. Fudge has always religiously considered
as one of the first elements of progress:
she is not alone in this; she can hardly be said
to be wrong. Mr. Solomon Fudge is a rich man.
I could hardly have adduced a better proof of it,
than by my statement of the fact that he is a large
holder of the Dauphin stock. None but a substantially
rich man could afford to hold large stock,
either in the Dauphin or the Parker Vein Coal
Companies. Such humble corporations as pay dividends
(which they earn) are generally held by
those poor fellows who need dividends. Mr. Fudge
needs no dividends. Coal companies generally pay
no dividends.

Mrs. Fudge, for a considerable period of years,
has made the most of her wealth. She is, however,
a shrewd woman; Uncle Solomon is a prudent
man; she has, therefore, made no extraordinary
display. She has kept a close eye upon equipages,

hats, cloaks, habits, churches, different schemes
of faith and of summer recreation. She is “well
posted” in regard to all these matters.

Unfortunately—I say it with a modest regret—
a certain Bodger twang belonged to my aunt,
which the prettiest velvet cloak, or the most killing
of Miss Lawson's bonnets, could never hide. I
regard it as a native beauty, redolent of the fields;
she—I am sorry to affirm it—does not regard it
at all. It has, however, I am convinced, stood in
the way of her advancement.

For five years she may be said to have occupied
the same position; the seasons hardly counted upon
her; they were certainly not counted by her. She
enjoyed a certain prestige of wealth; as much, at
any rate, as could be forced into laces and withdrawn
readily from the stock-broker's capital.
Her children held ignoble positions, either in the
nursery or at school. At one time, indeed—I
think it was during the cholera-season—she came
near ruining her prospects in life by gaining the
reputation of a domestic woman. She has since,
however, very successfully counteracted this opinion.

I have spoken of the children of Mrs. Fudge.
Children are an ornament to society; greater ornaments,
frequently, than their parents. With a city
education, and with the companionships that grow

up in a city school, they possess a foot-hold, as
it were, which could never have belonged to Phœbe
Bodgers. Mrs. Fudge understands this; she has
had an eye to this matter, in the course of her
son's schooling: her daughter she has watched
over with the same motherly care.

Respectable little girls have not unfrequently
been invited home to tea by Wilhelmina Ernestina,
at the instance of the mamma of Wilhelmina
Ernestina. The same little girls, of good family,
have been invited out to ride with the mamma
of Wilhelmina Ernestina. The mamma has taken
great pleasure in talking with such little girls;
and has kindly amused them by instituting comparisons
of her furniture, or her dress, or her
tea-service, with the furniture, and dress, and tea-service
with which the little girls of good family
are familiar at home. From all this, Mrs. Fudge
has derived some very valuable hints.

In short, Wilhelmina Ernestina is a perfect
treasure to Mrs. Fudge. Her point-lace pantalets
attracted considerable attention while they were
still living in an obscure mansion of Wooster street.
Wilhelmina has, moreover, a passably pretty face.
It has a slight dash of bravado, which, considering
the uses to which it is to be applied, is by no means
undesirable. She is just now upon the point of

“coming out;” and, as much depends upon her
action and success at this particular period, her
mother and myself naturally regard her movements
with a good deal of anxiety. I shall take pleasure
in recording, from time to time, in the course of
these papers, her perils and her triumphs.

Her son, George Washington, more familiarly
known to the family as Wash. Fudge, is a promising
young man. He is an ornament to the street:
he is immensely admired by two very young girls
over the way, much to their mother's mortification.

I shall venture to draw a short sketch of his
appearance and habits: the sketch will not, however,
be a unique. Several portraits of him already
exist; Mrs. Fudge herself possesses two in oil and
three in Daguerreotype. He has, moreover, bestowed
several upon young ladies about town, to
say nothing of a certain Mademoiselle who became
enamored of him—to use his own story—and who
holds a highly respectable position in the choir of a
distinguished opera troupe.

Wash. Fudge has had some twenty years' experience
of life—mostly town-life. He is, therefore, no
chicken. This is a favorite expression of his, and of
his admirers. He dresses in quite elegant style. I
doubt somewhat, if such waistcoats and pantaloons

as ornament Wash. Fudge can be seen on any other
individual.

He was entered at Columbia College: there was
not a faster man in his class. His mother advised
association with such young gentlemen as appeared
to her—from the catalogue—to be desirable companions.
She even contrived a few oyster-suppers in
the basement, to which they were invited. The
affair, however, did not succeed. The young gentlemen
alluded to did not return the civilities of
young Fudge. Miss Wilhelmina Ernestina, although
set off in her best dress, and playing some of her
richest bits of piano practice, did not seem to do
execution on a single one of the young gentlemen
above alluded to.

Wash. Fudge decided Columbia College to be a
bore; he determined to leave the faculty. The
determination was happy and mutual.

He now devoted himself to dancing, billiards, and
flat cigars. His progress was very creditable. Mrs.
Fudge took a great deal of very proper pride in the
jaunty and dashing appearance of her son Washington.
She had a not doubt of his growing capacity
to do great execution upon the lady-members of
New York society: he had already, indeed, given
quiet proofs of his power in this way by certain
dashing flirtations in small country-places. A trip

to Paris was naturally regarded by Mrs. Fudge as
a great opportunity for perfecting himself in the
designs which he had in view. A trip to Paris was
therefore determined on, somewhat to the demurral
of Mr. Solomon Fudge, but much to the satisfaction
of his son and heir.

Mrs. Fudge flattered herself that the Miss Spindles,
and Pinkertons, and other young females of
distinguished families, would find him perfectly irresistible
on his return. She saw herself the envied
mother of one of the most delightful young men
about town—to say nothing of the accomplished
and fascinating Wilhelmina Ernestina. She saw,
furthermore, her advances upon the fashion of the
town sustained by the unremitting attentions of
young gentlemen of distinction, and by such overflowing
receptions as would for ever bury all recollection
of the Bodger blood.

I wish calmly to ask if Mrs. Solomon Fudge is
to be blamed for all this? Are not great numbers
of mothers anxious and hopeful in the very same
way? Nay, do they not continue anxious and
hopeful from year to year, trusting in Providence,
money, and management, to secure their ultimate
rescue from the shades of second-rate society? Is
it not reasonable to expect that six years of coaching,
at the very pick of the hours; adroit charities

to well-known city institutions; persistent listening
to the Rev. Dr. Muddleton; positive familiarity
with Miss Lawson, will in time, effect their purpose;
and that the stout Mrs. Solomon Fudge will, supported
on the wings of Wilhelmina and George
Washington, soar to the utmost height of society
and of ton?