University of Virginia Library

5. CHAPTER V.
CORNER LOTS.

MR. PLAUSABY was one of those men who
speak upon a level pitch, in a gentle and
winsome monotony. His voice was never broken
by impulse, never shaken by feeling. He was
courteous without ostentation, treating everybody
kindly without exactly seeming to intend it. He let fall
pleasant remarks incidentally or accidentally, so that one was
always fortuitously overhearing his good opinion of one's self.
He did not have any conscious intent to flatter each person
with some ulterior design in view, but only a general disposition
to keep everybody cheerful, and an impression that it
was quite profitable as a rule to stand well with one's neighbors.

The morning after Charlton's arrival the fat passenger called,
eager as usual to buy lots. To his lively imagination, every
piece of ground staked off into town lots had infinite possibilities.
It seemed that the law of probabilities had been no part
of the sanguine gentleman's education, but the gloriousness
of possibilities was a thing that he appreciated naturally; hopefulness
was in his very fiber.

Mr. Plausaby spread his “Map of Metropolisville” on the
table, let his hand slip gently down past the “Depot Ground,”
so that the fat gentleman saw it without seeming to have had
his attention called to it; then Plausaby, Esq., looked meditatively

at the ground set apart for “College,” and seemed to
be making a mental calculation. Then Plausaby proceeded to
unfold the many advantages of the place, and Albert was a
pleased listener; he had never before suspected that Metropolisville
had prospects so entirely dazzling. He could not
doubt the statements of the bland Plausaby, who said these
things in a confidential and reserved way to the fat gengle-man.
Charlton did not understand, but Plausaby did, that
what is told in a corner to a fat gentleman with curly hair
and a hopeful nose is sure to be repeated from the house-tops.

“You are an Episcopalian, I believe?” said Plausaby,
Esq. The fat gentleman replied that he was a Baptist.

“Oh! well, I might have known it from your cordial way
of talking. Baptist myself, in principle. In principle, at least.
Not a member of any church, sorry to say. Very sorry.
My mother and my first wife were both Baptists. Both of
them. I have a very warm side for the good old Baptist
church. Very warm side. And a warm side for every Baptist.
Every Baptist. To say nothing of the feeling I have
always had for you—well, well, let us not pass compliments.
Business is business in this country. In this country, you
know. But I will tell you one thing. The lot there marked
`College' I am just about transferring to trustees for a Baptist
university. There are two or three parties, members of
Dr. Armitage's church in New York City, that are going to
give us a hundred thousand dollars endowment. A hundred
thousand dollars. Don't say anything about it. There are
people who—well, who would spoil the thing if they could.
We have neighbors, you know. Not very friendly ones. Not
very friendly, Perritaut, for instance. It isn't best to tell

[ILLUSTRATION]

PLAUSABY SELLS LOTS.

[Description: 557EAF. Illustration page. Engraving of two seated men facing each other across a desk.]

one's neighbor all one's good luck. Not all one's good luck,”
and Plausaby, Esq., smiled knowingly at the fat man, who did
his best to screw his very transparent face into a crafty smile
in return. “Besides,” continued Squire Plausaby, “once let it
get out that the Baptist University is going to occupy that
block, and there'll be a great demand——”

“For all the blocks around,” said the eager fat gentleman,
growing impatient at Plausaby's long-windedness.

“Precisely. For all the blocks around,” went on Plausaby.
“And I want to hold on to as much of the property in this
quarter as——”

“As you can, of course,” said the other.

“As I can, of course. As much as I can, of course. But
I'd like to have you interested. You are a man of influence.
A man of weight. Of weight of character. You will bring
other Baptists. And the more Baptists, the better for—the
better for——”

“For the college, of course.”

“Exactly. Precisely. For the college, of course. The
more, the better. And I should like your name on the board
of trustees of—of——”

“The college?”

“The university, of course. I should like your name.”

The fat gentleman was pleased at the prospect of owning
land near the Baptist University, and doubly pleased at the
prospect of seeing his name in print as one of the guardians
of the destiny of the infant institution. He thought he would
like to buy half of block 26.

“Well, no. I couldn't sell in 26 to you or any man.
Couldn't sell to any man. I want to hold that block because

of its slope. I'll sell in 28 to you, and the lots there are just
about as good. Quite as good, indeed. But I want to build on 26.”

The fat gentleman declared that he wouldn't have anything
but lots in 26. That block suited his faney, and he didn't
care to buy if he could not have a pick.

“Well, you're an experienced buyer, I see,” said Plausaby,
Esq. “An experienced buyer. Any other man would have
preferred 28 to 26. But you're a little hard to insist on that
particular block. I want you here, and I'll give half of 28
rather than sell you out of 26.”

“Well, now, my friend, I am sorry to seem hard. But I
fastened my eye on 26. I have a fine eye for direction and
distance. One, two, three, four blocks from the public square.
That's the block with the solitary oak-tree in it, if I'm right.
Yes? Well, I must have lots in that very block. When I
take a whim of that kind, heaven and earth can't turn me,
Mr. Plausaby. So you'd just as well let me have them.”

Plausaby, Esq., at last concluded that he would sell to the
plump gentleman any part of block 26 except the two lots on
the south-east corner. But that gentleman said that those
were the very two he had fixed his eyes upon. He would
not buy if there were any reserves. He always took his very
pick out of each town.

“Well,” said Mr. Plausaby coaxingly, “you see I have
selected those two lots for my step-daughter. For little Katy.
She is going to get married next spring, I suppose, and I have
promised her the two best in the town, and I had marked
off these two. Marked them off for her. I'll sell you lots
alongside, nearly as good, for half-price. Just half-price.”

But the fat gentleman was inexorable, Mr. Plausaby complained

that the fat gentleman was hard, and the fat gentleman
was pleased with the compliment. Having been frequently
lectured by his wife for being so easy and gullible, he was
now eager to believe himself a very Shylock. Did not like to
rob little Kate of her marriage portion, he said, but he must
have the best or none. He wanted the whole south half of 26.

And so Mr. Plausaby sold him the corner-lot and the one
next to it for ever so much more than their value, pathetically
remarking that he'd have to hunt up some other lots
for Kate. And then Mr. Plausaby took the fat gentleman out
and showed him the identical corner, with the little oak and
the slope to the south.

“Mother,” said Albert, when they were gone, “is Katy
going to be married in the spring?”

“Why, how should I know?” queried Mrs. Plausaby, as
she adjusted her collar, the wide collar of that day, and set
her breastpin before the glass. “How should I know? Katy
has never told me. There's a young man hangs round here
Sundays, and goes boating and riding with her, and makes her
presents, and walks with her of evenings, and calls her his
pet and his darling and all that kind of nonsense, and I half-suspect”—here
she took out her breastpin entirely and began
over again—“I half-suspect he's in earnest. But what have I
got to do with it? Kate must marry for herself. I did twice,
and done pretty well both times. But I can't see to Kate's
beaux. Marrying, my son, is a thing everybody must attend
to personally for themselves. At least, so it seems to me.”
And having succeeded in getting her ribbon adjusted as she
wanted it, Mrs. Plausaby looked at herself in the glass with an
approving conscience.

“But is Kate going to be married in the spring?” asked
Albert.

“I don't know whether she will have her wedding in the
spring or summer. I can't bother myself about Kate's affairs.
Marrying is a thing that everybody must attend to personally
for themselves, Albert. If Kate gets married, I can't help
it; and I don't know as there's any great sin in it. You'll
get married yourself some day.”

“Did fa—did Mr. Plausaby promise Katy some lots?”

“Law, no! Every lot he sells 'most is sold for Kate's lot.
It's a way he has. He knows how to deal with these sharks.
If you want any trading done, Albert, you let Mr. Plausaby
do it for you.”

“But, mother, that isn't right.”

“You've got queer notions, Albert. You'll want us all to
quit eating meat, I suppose. Mr. Plausaby said last night
you'd be cheated out of your eyes before you'd been here a
month, if you stuck to your ideas of things. You see, you
don't understand sharks. Plausaby does. But then that is
not my lookout. I have all I can do to attend to myself.
But Mr. Plausaby does know how to manage sharks.”

The more Albert thought the matter over, the more he was
convinced that Mr. Plausaby did know how to manage sharks.
He went out and examined the stakes, and found that block
26 did not contain the oak, but was much farther down in
the slough, and that the corner lots that were to have been
Katy's wedding portion stretched quite into the peat-bog, and
further that if the Baptist University should stand on block
27, it would have a baptistery all around it.