University of Virginia Library

“Your letter really astonished me, my dear boy—it did,
upon my word. You will permit me to observe that you
are really the most unreasonable and exacting of all the
lovers that I've read of, from the time of Achilles to the
present hour.

“And so, when you pointed your gun at the tree, the
bird did not flutter down and light on your shoulder! Or
say that you banged away, my boy, do you expect such a
wild little thing as Miss Bonnybel to sit and be shot at by
you? You discharge your fowling piece, and before the
smoke's cleared away, walk tranquilly up to pick up the
game; you find that your aim was bad, and there's no bird
on the ground, and you scowl, and growl, and complain of
her for not falling!

“ `My son,' I would say to you, as I'm told the great King
Solomon did on one occasion, `listen to the words of the
wise; wisdom is the principal thing,' he adds, `therefore
get wisdom, and with all thy getting, get understanding.'

“Curious and complex, O my beloved friend, is the heart
of woman. Many philosophers have written concerning
them, but they are hard to understand. But one thing I
am sure of, that the young ladies of the province of Virginia
object to falling without due warning—subsiding, hysterically,
into the embrace of any young man who is good
enough to hold out his arms. And you will pardon my declaring
my opinion that it is reasonable; were I a woman,
as that engaging young lady, Miss Tracy, says I am already,
I'd demand a siege of a decade! 'T is true I should be
verging toward forty by that time, but I'd possess the inestimable
satisfaction of reflecting that I'd passed my life in
worrying a young man.

“You dissent, perhaps, from my views, but, honestly now,

do you think you gave Miss Bonnybel `sufficient notice' of
the intended movement in your `suit?' 'T is a charming
damsel (though of course much less so than a certain person),
and I fancy she resents your cavalier assault, your ferocious
charge, as though your banner were inscribed, `Marriage
or instant death!!!' And then you go on to complain
of her bright eyes, of her chance-uttered words and jests.
Really, my dear Harry, you are a perfect ogre. You can't
let a maiden display her liking, and smile, and look attractive,
and please you! Suppose all the world was of your
way of thinking! What a dull, stiff, artificial world it
would be. Just think, my dear fellow, of the awful result.
No laughter, no ogling, no flirting any more! The true
joy of our existence would disappear, the girls would be
lifeless statues. You may fancy a statue of marble for your
spouse, but I'd rather have a nice young woman of the real
world, with her dangerous smiles, and head bent sidewise!
Do you say that a friend of mine at Vanely is not such as
this? I can only reply that my tastes were not formed
when I met her. I adore her, 't is true, but logically speaking,
I'm wrong.

“Take my word for it, some day, your bird will descend;
shake the tree, and the fruit will fall. Imitate an unappreciated
friend of yours, and still continue the shaking.[1]

“As to misery and moping, and anger, and all that, 't is
natural but very irrational; 't is unpleasant, and does no
good. Go back to Vanely and renew your attack—love the
damsel so much that her pride may be flattered. My friend,
there is nothing like perseverance. Go court your inamorata
more ardently than ever, and if, meanwhile, you do n't
meet a girl you love more, I'll lay you ten to one that you
get her!

“These few words, Harry my boy, must suffice. I can't
come to see you; I am busy at home. But we'll meet at
the assembly, in town. You say that the young lady put

her handkerchief to her eyes; well I predict that those eyes
will shine brightly when they next rest on you. 'T is always
thus when the April shower is over.