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Mark Twain's sketches, new and old

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CHAPTER V.
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5. CHAPTER V.

[Scene—A Roman Café.]

One of a group of Amercan gentlemen reads and translates from the weekly
edition of Il Slangwhanger di Roma as follows:

Wonderful Discovery!—Some six months ago Signor John Smitthe, an American gentleman
now some years a resident of Rome, purchased for a trifle a small piece of ground in the Campagna,
just beyond the tomb of the Scipio family, from the owner, a bankrupt relative of the Princess
Borghese. Mr. Smitthe afterwards went to the Minister of the Public Records and had the piece
of ground transferred to a poor American artist named George Arnold, explaining that he did it as
payment and satisfaction for pecuniary damage accidentally done by him long since upon property
belonging to Signor Arnold, and further observed that he would make additional satisfaction by
improving the ground for Signor A., at his own charge and cost. Four weeks ago, while making
some necessary excavations upon the property, Signor Smitthe unearthed the most remarkable
ancient statue that has ever been added to the opulent art treasures of Rome. It was an exquisite
figure of a woman, and though sadly stained by the soil and the mould of ages, no eye can look
unmoved upon its ravishing beauty. The nose, the left leg from the knee down, an ear, and also
the toes of the right foot and two fingers of one of the hands, were gone, but otherwise the noble
figure was in a remarkable state of preservation. The government at once took military possession
of the statue, and appointed a commission of art critics, antiquaries and cardinal princes of the
church to assess its value and determine the remuneration that must go to the owner of the ground
in which it was found. The whole affair was kept a profound secret until last night. In the meantime
the commission sat with closed doors, and deliberated. Last night they decided unanimously
that the statue is a Venus, and the work of some unknown but sublimely gifted artist of the third
century before Christ. They consider it the most faultless work of art the world has any knowledge
of.

“At midnight they held a final conference and decided that the Venus was worth the enormous
sum of ten million francs! In accordance with Roman law and Roman usage, the government
being half owner in all works of art found in the Campagna, the State has naught to do but pay
five million francs to Mr. Arnold and take permanent possession of the beautiful statue. This
morning the Venus will be removed to the Capitol, there to remain, and at noon the commission
will wait upon Signor Arnold with His Holiness the Pope's order upon the Treasury for the princely
sum of five million francs in gold.”

Chorus of Voices.—“Luck! It's no name for it!”

Another Voice.—“Gentlemen, I propose that we immediately form an American
joint-stock company for the purchase of lands and excavations of statues, here,
with proper connections in Wall Street to bull and bear the stock.”

All.—“Agreed.”