University of Virginia Library

19. AN EQUITABLE SET-OFF.

An enterprising young gentleman of the extensive family
of Smith, rejoicing in the Christian prefix of Theophilus, and
engaged in that species of traffic for which Kentucky is famous,
to wit, in the horse-trading line, tried his wits upon a
man in the same community of the name of Hickerson, and
found himself very considerably minus in the operation; the
horse he had swapped turning out to be worth, by reason
of sundry latent defects, considerably less than nothing.

Smith waited, for some time, for an opportunity of righting
himself in the premises; preferring to be discreetly silent
on the subject of his loss, such accidents being looked upon,
about that time, by those with whom he most associated,
more as a matter of ridicule than sympathy. At length
Mr. Hickerson, in the course of one of his trading forays in
the neighboring village, had got a fine mule, and brought him
home, well-pleased with his bargain. A favorable opportunity
now presented itself for Mr. Smith to obtain his revenge.
He adopted the following plan: He sent a complaisant friend,
a Mr. Timothy Diggs, over to Hickerson's one Sunday morning,

with instructions. Mr. Diggs, riding leisurely beyond Mr.
Hickerson's premises, caught sight of the mule, and, turning
towards the house, saw Mr. Hickerson, who was sitting in the
porch calmly enjoying those exhilarating reflections which
come across the mind of a jockey after a good trade. “Halloo,
Hickerson,” said he, “I see you have got Jones's big mule—
Jones came near selling him to me, but I got item in time, and
escaped.” “Why,” said Hickerson, “was any thing the matter
with the mule?” “Yes,” said Diggs; “however, I don't
know myself that there was much, only this; that the mule does
very well except in the full of the moon, and then he takes fits
which last about a week, hardly ever longer; and then such
rearing and charging, and biting and kicking! he's like all
possessed—nobody and nothing can manage him. Now, the
best you can do is to go down to Smith's, and trade him off
with him for a bran-new sorrel horse he's got. “Well,” said
Hickerson, “I'll do that sure. Hold on, and keep dark, old
fellow, and see how I'll crack him.”

Hickerson accordingly fixed up his mule, and rode over
to Mr. Smith's, and after much chaffering, and many mutual
compliments, in the French style, to their respective animals,
the new sorrel, that had been fixed up for Mr. Hickerson's
special benefit, and had all the diseases that horseflesh is
heir to, and some it gets by adoption, was exchanged for the
mule.

It was not long before Mr. Hickerson, finding Mr. Smith
in company with some of the young gentlemen who could relish
humor of this sort, ventured to relate this amusing incident;

but when Mr. Smith, who had quietly awaited
the termination of the narrative and the laughter growing
thereout, in his turn gave in the counter-plot, Mr. Hickerson's
sensibilities became greatly excited; and seeking to
right himself by the law, on the facts coming out, found that
Mr. Smith had only obtained an equitable set-off, and that he
could not plead his own turpitude to regain what he had lost
in trying to come the old soldier over another man.