University of Virginia Library

23. CATASTROPHE.

My publishers have just dropped me a line, sealed
with black sealing wax, to say that I have left out the
catastrophe. So much the better I tell them; that of
itself, would be a first rate catastrophe for a new
book—or an old author. But they hint moreover—
confidentially—that if I do not account for every
man, woman and child I have brought upon the stage,
so that when the reader is asked what became of Mr.
Such-a-one, or of Miss So-and-so, he may be able to
answer for himself, nobody on earth will ever give
me credit for a plot. It is in vain that I ask, what
more he cares to know about the personages present
at the happening of a remarkable transaction, than
that which would be well enough in a picture of the
scene?—or of what use it would be, to give all the
facts, before and after the transaction; as if rational
readers would not enjoy a murder, without knowing
who patched the elbow of the murderer's coat, or
upon whose grindstone he sharpened the knife? It
is in vain for me to tell him, that incidents of themselves
are interesting in real life, unconnected though
they are, with a story before and a story after them,
that if a fine girl for instance, were to destroy herself,
it would be the fault of the narrator, if people were
not interested, without knowing all the causes, all the
circumstances, and all the consequences. But all in
vain: a plot there must be with a regular development,
and right regular catastrophe. Be it so. Let the

kind hearted therefore take notice, that every mother's
son, herein before mentioned, is alive now, and in
good health and spirits, save some three or four, who
have either married outright or died a natural death.
Middleton is believed to be a Methodist preacher who
shall be nameless; and as for Obadiah, from all that
I can gather, I am half inclined to think, though I do
not know of a certainty, that he is now figuring away
at Washington under the name of Major Jack Downing.
But this you will please to understand, dear
reader, is between ourselves; I shouldn't like to have
it go any further.

Another thing. The Publishers tell me there is
too much for one volume and not enough for two—
under such circumstances what is to be done? weave
in three or four chapters by way of connection
or explanation,—accompanying the whole with a
detailed, instead of the summary catastrophe, given
above, which like the balance-sheet of a long standing
account, on a merchant's ledger, tells the whole
story at once; or—shall I try to distinguish myself
by stopping where I have done? Believing the latter
to be, if not the best, by far the most original mode
of winding up either a speech or a story, I shall send
the Printer something else of a different character,
to fill up with.

New-York, October 1st, 1833.