University of Virginia Library

Jan. ye 21st, 1679.

Uncle Rawson came home to-day, in a great passion,
and, calling me to him, he asked me if I, too, was
going to turn Quaker, and fall to prophesying? Whereat
I was not a little amazed; and when I asked him
what he did mean, he said — “Your brother Leonard
hath gone off to them, and I dare say you will follow,
if one of the Ranters should take it into his head that
you would make him a proper Wife, or company-keeper,
for there's never an honest marriage among
them.” Then looking sternly at me, he asked me why
I did keep this matter from him, and thus allow the
foolish young man to get entangled in the snares of
Satan. Whereat I was so greatlie grieved, that I could
answer never a word.

“You may well weep,” said my Uncle, “for you
have done wickedly. As to your Brother, he will doe

well to keep where he is in the Plantations; for if he
comes hither a theeing and thouing of me, I will spare
him never a whit; and if I doe not chastise him myself,
it will be because the Constable can do it better at
the cart-tail. As the Lord lives, I had rather he had
turned Turk!”

I tried to say a word for my Brother, but he cut me
straightway short, bidding me not to mention his name
again in his presence. Poor me! I have none here
now to whom I can speak freely, Rebecca having gone
to her sister's at Weymouth. My young Cousin Grindall
is below, with his college friend, Cotton Mather;
but I care not to listen to their Discourse, and Aunt is
busied with her servants in the Kitchen, soe that I must
even sit alone with my thoughts, which be indeed but
sad companie.

The little Book which I brought with me from the
Maine, it being the gift of young Mr. Jordan, and which
I have kept close hidden in my trunk, hath been no
small consolation to me this day, for it aboundeth in
sweet and goodly thoughts, although he who did write
it was a Monk. Especially in my low state, have
these words been a comfort to me:

“What thou canst not amend in thyself or others,
bear thou with Patience until God ordaineth otherwise.
When comfort is taken away, do not presently despair.

Stand with an even Mind resigned to the Will of God,
whatever shall befal, because after Winter cometh the
Summer; after the dark night the day shineth, and
after the storm followeth a great calm. Seek not for
Consolation which shall rob thee of the grace of Penitence;
for all that is high is not holy, nor all that is
pleasant good; nor every desire pure, nor is what is
pleasing to us always pleasant in the sight of God.”