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The adventures of Timothy Peacock, Esquire, or, Freemasonry practically illustrated

comprising a practical history of Masonry, exhibited in a series of amusing adventures of a Masonic quixot
  
  
  
  
  
  

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CHAPTER X.
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10. CHAPTER X.

At the first streak of day light the next morning, our
hero jogged his companion to awake, that they might rise
and prepare for their departure. But Jenks, although an
early riser, and generally first on such occasions, yet seeing
no particular necessity for so very early a start, begged
for a little more repose. The impatience of Timothy however
would admit of no delay, and again rousing his friend,
and hastily dressing himself, he proceeded with wonderful
alacrity to get out and harness the team and put every thing
in readiness for immediate departure; all of which he had
accomplished by the time that Jenks, who was all the time
wondering at the unaccountable anxiety of his friend to be
off at such an early hour, had dressed himself and came
out into the yard. The reckoning having been paid the
evening previous, the two friends now mounted their carriage
and drove off from the house, leaving all its unconscious
inmates still wrapt in their unbroken slumbers.


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For the first few miles of their ride they were mutually
silent, as people generally are, or are inclined to be, during
the first hours of the morning. Whoever has been
much at the public schools in his youth, and seen a host of
these wayward disciples of Minerva reluctantly turning out
at day-light for prayers and recitation, cannot but remember
the sour and lugubrious countenances there every
morning exhibited—the mumping taciturnity, and the cold
and unsocial manner with which each marched on doggedly
to the task: While, after their morning duties were
over, and the mounting sun, aided perhaps by a smoking
cup of their favorite Batavia, had warmed up their sluggish
blood to action, the same fellows were invariably seen
returning to their rooms locked arm in arm as amiable and
smiling as the face of spring, and as chatty as the black-bird
in her sunny meadows.

So with our adventurers during the first part of their
morning's ride. The sun however now began to glimmer
through the heavy column of fog that lay brooding over
the noble Hudson; and its vivifying effects were soon
perceptible.

“What do you suppose is the reason, Brother Jenks,”
said Timothy, gaping and stretching out his arms at full
length, “what do you suppose is the reason that women
have never been allowed to incorporate into our privileges
of masonry?”

`Why, Brother Peacock,' replied the other, `you know
that the faculty of keeping secrets is one of the greatest
and most essential virtues of masonry: and don't you recollect
a passage on this subject in one of the songs in the
Book of Constitutions, which runs in these words—

“The ladies claim right to come into our light,
Since the apron they say is their bearing—
Can they subject their will—can they keep their tongues still,
And let talking be chang'd into hearing?”
Here you see how naturally their claims are urged, and at
the same time how strong are the reasons against their ever
being admitted.'


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“True,” observed Timothy, “but still I have some instigations
for wishing that there was some method to extinguish
their wilful functions towards us, and, if they cannot
be admitted to infest their minds with a proper understanding
of the rights and privileges which belong to us
Masons, and which you know it is their duty to extend and
yield to us in every case that requires the least emergency.”

`I have sometimes wished the same,' observed Jenks,
`my wife, besides forever teasing me to tell her the secret,
always makes a great fuss because I am out one night in
a month or so, which all, no doubt, comes from her not
being able to understand the true nature and value of masonry.
But I don't suppose there is any help for this grievance,
for, as to their ever being worthy of being admitted
into the lodge, and this is the only way any thing could be
done for them, that business, I take it, was settled at the
beginning of the world; for there is another place in the
Book of Constitutions which fully explains this matter. It
is in a piece called the Progress of Masonry, and goes on
in this way—

“But Satan met Eve when she was a gadding,
And set her, as since all her daughters, a madding—
To find out the secrets of Freemasonry,
She ate of the fruit of the forbidden tree.
Then as she was fill'd with high flowing fancies,
As e'er was fond girl who deals in romances,
She thought with her knowledge sufficiently cramm'd,
And said to her spouse, My dear, eat and be damn'd!
But Adam, astonish'd like one struck with thunder,
Beheld her from head to foot over with wonder—
Now you have done this thing, madam, said he,
For your sake no women Freemasons shall be.”
Now in this history of the matter given by this book, which
you know is the Mason's Bible, and no more to be doubted
than the other Bible, you see why women in the first place
were cut off from the privileges of masonry; and although
the reasons mentioned in the first verse I repeated are

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enough to prevent their being admitted, yet you see if
those reasons did not exist, they could never come to this
honor, because it was forbidden almost as soon as the world
was made; and this I take to be one of the heaviest curses
that was bestowed upon Eve for eating the forbidden
fruit, (which was pretty much the same, I suppose, as unlawfully
trying to get into the secrets of masonry) that her
whole sex should forever be denied the honors and privileges
of our blessed institution.'

“These verses,” said Timothy, “are indeed sublimely
transcendant; but there is one incomprehension about
them which I should like to hear you diffuse upon. They
say that Satan meeting Eve, set her mad to find out the secrets
of masonry, and so she eat of the forbidden fruit to
get these secrets. Now is it not consequential that Satan
was a Mason himself wrongfully trying to initiate her in
this way?”

`I don't exactly see how it was myself,' replied the other,
`but these things are no doubt explained in the high
degrees which I have not taken. I suppose however that
Satan might once have been an accepted Mason, but you
know he was expelled from heaven, which is no doubt the
Great Grand Lodge of the Universe, and made up wholly
of Masons.'

“Then you do not suppose,” said Timothy, “that any of
the feminine extraction ever go to heaven?”

`Why, as to that,' replied Jenks, `we cannot certainly
tell, but I think it a very doubtful case. If they have no
souls, as our brethren in Turkey and some other parts of
the old world believe, then of course they cannot go to
heaven. But if they have souls, as all in this country, except
Masons, believe, then it seems rather a hard case that
they should be shut out. Still there are so many reasons
against their ever being admitted, allowing they have souls,
that I scarcely know how to do them away as I could wish,
out of the pity I feel for this unfortunate part of the human
race. You know we take a most solemn oath in the Master's
degree never to initiate women, idiots, and the like;


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now if women cannot be initiated on earth, and it seems
to be a divine command that they shall not, for masonry is
divine, how can they ever enter heaven, which, I am persuaded
is, as I said before, all masonry, and the very perfection
of masonry? But you don't appear to pay any attention
to what I am saying, Timothy,' continued the speaker,
looking round on the former, who had been, for some
time, engaged in slyly reaching one arm round back of
their seat, and pulling out of their chest a wet shirt, cravat,
&c., and spreading them out to the sun—`you don't
appear—why! what in the name of the Old Nick is all
this?—when did you wet these clothes, Timothy?' The
latter blushed to the gills, and began to stammer out something
about bringing them from home in that condition.

“Come, come, Tim, none of your locklarums with me:
you got them wet in your last night's scrape, which by the
way, as I was asleep when you came in, I forgot to ask you
about this morning.—Did you fall into the brook while
blundering about in the dark?”

`Worse than that,' whimpered the confused Timothy,
finding it of no use to attempt concealment.

“Worse than that!” exclaimed the other, “what, then,
did you stumble into some filthy ditch?”

`Worse than that,' again replied our hero.

“Worse than that!!” reiterated Jenks in surprise, raising
his voice to a sort of howl—“what the d—l do you
mean, Tim?—speak out—don't act so like a fool!”

`Why—I got up—to her window,' said Timothy, hesitating
and stammering at every word—`and I went to'—

Jenks here burst out into loud, continued peals of laughter,
while our hero hung down his head in silence till his
companion's merriment had measurably subsided, when he
sheepishly observed, “I am glad you are a Mason, Brother
Jenks, because I know that now you will never divulge
this transacted dilemma.”

Our travellers now pushed on rapidly, and about noon
reached the flourishing town of Troy—

“Place of the free Hart's friendly home,”


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whose inhabitants they had heard possessed a sprinkling
of that gullible credulity which induced the luckless wights
of its ancient namesake to let the wooden horse into their
renowned city. They determined therefore to give Boaz
an opportunity of making his debut before a public whose
cash and curiosity might qualify them to appreciate his
merits. But they reckoned, it seems, without their host;
for after sojourning in this place about twenty-four hours,
and offering Bruin for exhibition with all the recommendations
they could invent, they realized barely enough to
pay their expenses. Finding that there was but small
prospect of making much out of the Trojans, our travellers
now proceeded down the river. At the capital they paused
only long enough to test the virtues of the Albany beef,[1]
that great natural benefice of this famine-proof city, for
the bestowment of which I wonder the citizens in their
gratitude have not raised from the bottom of the river a
monumental water-god a hundred feet high, with something
like the following inscribed on his head:

Here hungry wights, tho' oft their cake be dough,
While Hudson rolls no lack of beef shall know.

Proceeding diligently on their journey, they arrived about
dark at the city of Hudson. This night brought them a
little piece of good luck from a source on which they had
hitherto placed but small reliance: For putting up at an
inn in the outskirts of the city, where there happened to
reside one of your comfortably funded single ladies, who,
having been in the post-meridian of life without receiving
an offer, long enough to give her the hypochondria, imagined
herself in a consumption, and, having dismissed
all her physicians for blockheads, was now on the inquiry
for some specific for her fancied malady. Our travellers,
on learning this history of her case from her own lips during
their meal, began to bethink them of turning to some
account the bottled nostrums, which, as a forlorn hope, they
had stowed away in their waggon. Accordingly Jenks,


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after having listened to her remarks and lamentations long
enough to satisfy himself pretty well how the wind set with
her, enquired with apparent indifference, if she had ever
tried the celebrated medicine lately discovered in the Eastern
States which had cured so many consumptions.

She replied in the negative, and, with a countenance
brightening up with joy and excited curiosity, eagerly enquired
where any of this medicine was to be had.

On which, Jenks told her that he had charge of a few
bottles which had been sent by him to a gentleman in New
York, one of which perhaps might be spared; but so very
valuable was this medicine considered, that no one, he presumed,
would be willing to give the price demanded. This
only inflamed the invalid's curiosity the more, and she became
very anxious to see this elixir of life. Jenks then,
with some seeming hesitation, went out and brought in a
bottle, which, having been ingeniously tinctured by the
juice of the elder-berry, and rendered aromatic by wild
annis and the like, furnished a liquid both agreeable to the
taste and the sight; and turning out a small quantity, he
descanted largely on its virtues, and prescribed the manner
in which it was to be taken. Charmed by the taste
and appearance of the beautiful liquid, and her faith keeping
pace with her imagination in the growing idea of its
sanative qualities, her desire to possess it soon became uncontrollable,
and she demanded the price of the bottle.
And, while the cautious vender was hesitating whether
it was his best policy to say one dollar, or two, she, taking
this hesitation for a reluctance to part with such a
treasure, observed she must have it if it cost ten dollars.
This remark gave Jenks a clue of which he was not slow to
avail himself, and accordingly he told her that ten dollars
was just the price of one bottle, which was considered sufficient
to effect a complete cure in the most obstinate cases.
This she said was indeed a great price, but still money
was not to be put in competition with life. Thus observing,
she rose, and forgetting the cane with which she
usually walked, bustled out of the room. Jenks now began


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to fear that his avarice had led him to overshoot his
mark, and he regretted that he had not set his price lower,
as she had left him in doubt whether she intended to become
a purchaser. He had not however much time allowed
him for regrets; for his patient soon returned, and,
planking ten dollars, took possession of her invaluable
medicine, and proceeded to administer to herself the specified
does on the spot. After this her spirits soon became
exhilarated, and she declared that she already felt much
better.

Faith will remove mountains, saith the Scripture in substance.
I have often considered how peculiarly applicable
is this scriptural sentiment to the case of those laboring
under that, by no means the least terrible of diseases,
hypochondriacal affection. The poor afflicted dupe, in
the present instance, no sooner gave herself up to the full
influence of that wonder-working attribute, than she felt,
it would seem, the mountain rolling from her oppressed
feelings.

The next morning, as our travellers were about to resume
their journey, she came to the door with the bright
look and elastic step of a girl of fifteen, and expressed the
most unbounded gratitude to them for having been the
means of saving her life: She had not felt so well for two
years, and she was certain she should be entirely cured by
the time she had taken the whole bottle of her charming
medicine.

Our travellers drove off almost holding their breaths till
they had got fairly past the last house in the city, when
they began to snicker, and soon to laugh and roar outright
at the strange and ludicrous manner in which dame fortune
had been pleased to visit them in this unexpected little
piece of success. “I have often heard it observed, Brother
Tim,” said Jenks, after his fit of merriment had been
indulged in to his satisfaction, “I have often heard it observed,
that mankind were always prone to measure the
value of every thing by the price that was attached to it;
but I confess I never saw this trait so strikingly exhibited


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before. Had I put the price of that bottle at fifty cents,
the old hypoey squab, I will warrant you, would not have
looked at it. Let us then take a hint from this affair for
governing our future operations.”

They then fell to contriving in accordance with this
suggestion; the result of which was, that the same price,
which they had just so miraculously obtained, was to be
affixed to each of their remaining bottles of tinctured water.
Their black-balls were to be cried up as perpetual
leather-preservers, at a dollar a piece; and Boaz was to
be passed off as some unknown animal, if possible, with
terms for his exhibition sufficiently high to comport with
their new scale for the graduation of prices.

After this weighty business had been well discussed and
definitely settled, they concluded it best to embrace every
probable chance of putting their scheme into operation.
Accordingly they stopped at almost every house on the
road for the commendable purpose of searching out the
sick, and administering to their distresses. But unfortunately
it never fell to their lot to find any more cases of
consumption, either in fancy or fact, or any other disease
indeed that required the aid of any of their list of infallibles.
With their black-balls, however, they met with a
little more success among the Dutch farmers, who considered
that the preservation of their shoes, so that they
might pass as heir-looms from one generation to another,
was an object by no means to be sneezed at, declaring, in
their honest credulity, “none but a Cot tam Yankee would
have found out dat.” But with Boaz they found it impossible
to succeed in this way. At Poughkeepsie they spent
one day, and Timothy made a learned speech to the multitude
to prove their bear an unknown and newly discovered
animal. But as soon as two or three had been admitted
to the sight, the game was up. Boaz was pronounced
a bona fide bear as ever sucked his claws. Whereupon,
symptoms of a mob began to be discernable among the
crowd. One fellow stepped up to Jenks and offered him
half a crown, observing, and pointing to our hero instead


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of the bear, that he for one was well satisfied that the creature
was an unknown animal, and worth the money for the
sight, and concluded by asking where he was caught. Others
said something about those implements of the low and
vulgar, tar and feathers. In short, matters began to wear
rather a squally appearance.

Quœ cum ita sint—“since things go on at such a deuced
rate,” thought our travellers, it is no more than prudent to
be a jogging. They therefore packed up their duds without
further loss of time, and took a French leave of these
impertinent Poughkeepsians, who were growing quite too
familiar to suit their notions of genteel intercourse.

The next day, while diligently wending their way towards
the great city, they came to a little village containing a
tavern, store and meeting-house, those three grand requisites
of village greatness. Here they stopped at the tavern
for a little rest and refreshment. When they were about
to depart, Timothy stepped up to the bar, and offered the
landlord a small bank note out of which to pay their reckoning.
The latter took the note in hand, and, giving it a
long scrutinizing look, observed that he had some doubts
about that bill; and at the same time casting a glance of
suspicion at our friends, asked Timothy how he came by
the paper. The latter could only say that it was handed
him by his friend Jenks, and Jenks affirmed that he took it
on the road; and although he knew it to be good, yet to
save all dispute, he would pay the reckoning in other money.
Having done this, they requested the landlord to deliver
up the questioned bill; but he declined, and said he
should first like to know whether it was counterfeit or not;
and as there was a good judge of money in the place, they
would submit it to his inspection. To this Jenks demurred,
as causing them a foolish and unnecessary detention.
But the landlord, without beeding his remarks, sent out his
boy for the gentleman in question. In a few moments a
little dapper, pug-nosed fellow, with a huge cravat round
his neck, reaching up over his chin to his mouth, and looking
as if he had been trying to jump through it—while a


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large bunch of gold seals were appended to his waist to
keep the balance of his watch true, (provided he had one)
came bustling into the room swelling with the conscious
importance of his character as village merchant. “Here,
Mr. Nippet,” said the landlord, reaching out the bill,
“please to give us your opinion of that paper.” Mr. Nippet
accordingly took the bill, and, after having squinted at
it side-ways and all ways with a severe and knowing air,
laid it down, and, with a tone that plainly told that there
could be no appeal from his judgement, pronounced it
counterfeit. All eyes were now instantly turned upon our
travellers with looks of the darkest suspicion; and not
doubting the correctness of the decision of their counterskipper
oracle any more than a good Catholic would that
of the Pope, they already beheld our travellers, in imagination,
snugly immured within the walls of the Penitentiary.
They, however, showing the rest of their money, which
proved to be good, and taking much pains to convince the
company of the honesty of their intentions, succeeded so
far in allaying these suspicions, that no opposition was
made to their departing. Nippet, however, who had preserved
a dignified silence during this process of examination &
acquittal, now, as they drove off, pulled up his cravat and
said, “Dem me! if them are fellers aint as prime a pair of
Yankee counterfeiters as ever went uncaged, I will agree to
forfeit the best double-twilled looking-glass in my store.”

The effect of this malediction was soon manifested among
the crowd by eager inquiries for the village lawyer and the
sheriff. But let us follow our travellers, who, having got
too far off from the scene of action to perceive any thing of
this new movement, were now quietly pursuing their journey,
wholly unaware of the storm that was brewing in the
village they had just left. Perhaps, however, I should not
omit to state that Jenks, for reasons best known to himself,
often cast an uneasy glance behind him, and as often put
up old Cyclops to considerable more than his wonted jog.
After they had travelled about two hours, and while passing
over an uneven and woody country, somewhere in the


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vicinity of `Sleepy Hollow,' that secluded region, which
would forever have remained in its own quiet and inglorious
obscurity, but for the classic pens of Washington Irving
and the author of these memorable adventures: the
one having already rendered it famous as the scene of the
exploits of the immortal Ichabod Crane, and the other now
adding the climax of its celebrity by connecting it with the
masonic achievements of the no less immortal Timothy
Peacock,—while passing these regions, I say, the attention
of our trayellers was suddenly arrested by the clattering
of hoofs on the road behind them; and looking round,
they saw a man riding at full speed coming after them.

“What can that fellow want?” hurriedly exclaimed
Jenks—“something about that bill, I fear—I wish I had
never tried the experiment of putting”—

“You are the gentlemen, I conclude, with whom I have
some business,” said the man, riding up and addressing
our travellers, and at the same time taking out a warrant,
“you are the persons, I think, who put off a certain bank
bill at our village a few hours since,” he continued, motioning
them to stop their horse. Here was a dilemma inindeed!
Our travellers were thunderstruck. But it was
here, O divine Masonry! that thy transcendant genius shone
triumphant! Here the omnipetence of thy saving and precious
principles was displayed in its true glory for the protection
of thy faithful children! And it was here thy supreme
behest, in obedience to which,

“Supporting each other
Brother helps brother,”
was kindly interposed between thy sons in difficulty and
the cruel and less sacred exactions of civil law, and set the
rejoicing captives free! Quick as thought our hero rose
from his seat, and looking the officer full in the face, made
the Master Mason's hailing sign of distress. The officer
hesitated, and seemed to be in great perplexity how to act.
On which, Jenks, who had been thrown into more confusion
than Timothy, now regaining his assurance in perceiving

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they were in the hands of a brother, also rose and
made another masonic sign to the officer which our hero
did not at that time understand. But its potency was instantly
acknowledged by a corresponding token, and its
redeemnig efficacy as quickly visible.

“Here must be some mistake,” said the officer, “no two
persons in a waggon have passed you on the road, gentlemen?”
he continued, with a look which seemed to say, we
must invent some excuse for this.

`None whatever,' replied Jenks, fully comprehending the
drift of the question, `none whatever, but perhaps they
were considerably behind us, and might have turned off at
a road which I noticed several miles back, and which leads
I conclude to some ferry over the Hudson.'

“Nothing more likely,” rejoined the sheriff, “but to put
the matter beyond dispute, and enable me to give a safe
answer to my employers, I will ride on to the next house,
and enquire if any travellers, at all answering the description
of the fugitives, have passed the road, and if informed
in the negative, I shall of course be exonerated from
any further pursuit in this direction. So, good bye, Brethren,”
he continued, pointing to a thick wood behind a hill
on the right, “good bye—caution and moonlight will ensure
a safe journey to the city.” So saying, he clapped
spurs to his horse, and dashing by the waggon of our travellers,
was soon out of sight.

“Brother Peacock,” said Jenks, “there is no time to
lose; we must drive out into the woods and conceal ourselves
and team behind yonder hill till dark.” They then
jumped out of their waggon, and taking their horse by the
head, led him out of the road into a partial opening at the
right, and picking their way through the bushes and round
fallen trees and logs, soon arrived at a situation where the
intervening hill cut off all view from the road, and where
a small grass plot and spring furnished an excellent place
for halting and refreshment. Being now in a place of safety,
they unharnessed old Cyclops, and gave him the last
peck of oats now remaining of the stock which they had


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brought from home. Our travellers now taking a seat,
Jenks proceeded to explain to Timothy, as far as his oath
would permit, the nature of the sign which he had made to
the officer, and which had so effectually ensured their escape
from arrest. The token he had used he said was the
Royal Arch sign of distress, which no Mason of that degree
ever dare pass unheeded, whatever might be his opinion
of being bound to answer the Master's sign of distress in
circumstances like those in which they had just been placed.
As to the latter obligation, he remarked, there was
a difference of opinion among Masons,—some believing
they were bound to afford relief, protection or liberty, as
the case might require, whenever the Master's sign was
made; others considering that this sign only extended to
relief in certain cases. Among the latter class, he presumed,
stood this officer, by his hesitation when this sign was
made, since he appeared to have no doubts what was his
duty when he saw the sign of the Royal Arch degree,—that
sign which was never known to fail a brother in distress,—
that sign, indeed, whose potency can palsy even the iron
arm of the law—bid defiance to the walls of the deepest
dungeons, and rend the strongest fetters that ever bound
the limbs of a captive brother.

Timothy could not here refrain from bursting forth into
the most rapturous exclamations in praise of the glorious
institution that could effect such wonders. Its advantages,
its value, and its protective power, were now to him no
longer a matter of hypothesis. He had seen them exemplified.
He had experienced their glorious fruits. He blessed
the auspicious hour that first brought the precious light to
his soul, and he resolved that he would never rest till he
had taken not only the Royal Arch, but every higher degree,
till he had reached the very summit of the Ladder
of Jacob.

It was now about noon, and our travellers, beginning to
feel the demands of appetite, went to their waggon, and after
making a pretty heavy draft on their remaining stock
of provisions, repaired to a little bed of moss near a spring


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which was overshadowed by a large chesnut tree, and commenced
their sylvan meal.

“Brother Timothy,” said Jenks, tossing a half-eaten biscuit
in his hand and giving a momentary respite to his
masticators, “I have been thinking about trying an experiment.
You know you preached like a philosopher there
at Poughkeepsie to make them believe that Boaz was no
bear, but some strange and unknown animal, but failed to
make the fellows trust one word of all you told them; and
for the reason no doubt that when they came to see him
with his long black hair, and every way in his natural
trim, their common sense told them that he could be nothing
but a bear. Well, as I was looking on to notice how
matters went, and hearing you talk with so much high
learning about the unknown animal as you called him, a
thought struck me that if it had not been for the creature's
black coat, you might have made them believe your story;
and if he could be sheared or shaved, it would be nearly
all that would be wanting to make him pass for what you
cracked him up to be.”

`What an ingenious contrivability!' excaimed the other.
`Brother Jenks, what a fundament of inventions is always
exasperating the dimensions of your perecranium!
Who else would have ever cogitated such a comical designment?'

“Now, Tim,” continued Jenks, without seeming to heed
the exclamations of his companion, “we have all the afternoon
before us, as it will not do to start till dark, and I put
a pair of sheers into our chest, and several kinds of paint,
thinking I might want them perhaps to fix old Cyclops for
market. So you see we have leisure and tools—now what
say you to trying the experiment of taking off the bear's
coat close to his skin, and otherwise fixing him as we shall
think expedient?”

`By all muchness and manner of means, let us condense
the experiment into immediate operation,' replied our hero,
adding the most sanguine anticipations of its success.

The project was then discussed in all its bearings, and


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becoming more and more confirmed in the opinion that it
must succeed, the projectors rose for the purpose of patting
it into execution without further delay. It was arranged
that Timothy should take a bag, and going out of
the woods to the back side of an orchard which they had
noticed about half a mile back, procure a quantity of sweet
apples to feed Boaz and make him more quietly submit to
the operation; while Jenks was to remain behind and make
all necessary preparations for the performance.

Accordingly, Timothy steered off with his bag, and the
other proceeded to get out his old shears and sharpen them
upon a piece of slate stone, then to prepare his shaving
tools with which it was proposed to go over the animal after
shearing by way of putting on the finish to the work;
and finally to get out poor Boaz, the unconscious object of
these preparations, who little dreamed that his masters
were about to deprive him of the only coat he had to his
back, and that too when cold winter was rapidly approaching.

By the time these preparations were completed, Timothy
came staggering along over the logs under a load of
nearly two bushels of apples, and reaching the spot, threw
them down at the feet of his companion.

“Stolen fruit is sweet,” said Jenks, taking out and tasting
several of the apples, “this makes the Scripture good;
for I never tasted sweeter apples in my life.”

`I declare to Jehoshaphat and the rest of the prophets,'
said Timothy, `the idea never once entered my conscience
that I was breaking the commandments by taking these
apples without the liberty of licence.'

Jenks now perceiving the uneasiness that his remark
had caused his too scrupulous friend, at once relieved his
feelings by telling him, in the language of the Jesuitical
Fathers, whose learned and logical reasoning bears
so striking a resemblance to that of masonic writers in
support of their institution, that, as he was calculating to
devote his share of the avails of their project to the study
of masonry, whatever was done in furtherance of so noble


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an object could not be blameable; for the end always justified
the means, and therefore this act which appeared to
trouble his mind so unnecessarily, was in fact a virtue instead
of a crime.

They now proceeded to the shearing operation—one plying
the shears, while the other slowly administered pieces
of apples to the animal, and thus kept him quiet during
the performance. In about an hour they completed this
first part of their task, having deprived Bruin of the whole
of his sable wardrobe as far as it could be effected with
shears. Next was the more difficult and tedious process
of shaving. They beat up a large supply of lather, and
diligently betook themselves to this novel exercise of the
barber's profession. This part of their undertaking proved
indeed to be a slow and troublesome business. But Boaz,
either because he was conscious of the important objects
which the operation involved, or because the razor,
in passing over his skin, produced, by its light and gentle
friction, those pleasurable sensations which are said to be
so highly appreciated in Scotland as to lead to the erection
of rubbing-posts in that country, bore up through the whole
with the patience of a philosopher, and, with the exception
of a little wincing and snapping as occasionally the razor
happened to graze the skin, suffered the operators to complete
their task without offering the slightest opposition.
This process being at length finished, they smeared over
his skin with some light paint mixed with earth so as to
give him an ashy appearance.

“There Boaz!” exclaimed Jenks, laughing at the comical
appearance of the animal, as he stood before them
completely metamorphosed, his body as smooth as the head
of a shorn Carmelite, and his whole figure comparatively as
light and spruce as a Broadway dandy, and with organs of
ideality quite as well developed, (though with a little more
destructiveness to be sure,) “there Boaz, if you wont betray
us by your bearish breeding, we may defy the Old Nick
himself to discover your true character.”

It was now past sunset, and the deepening shadows of


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evening beginning to fall thick and fast into the deep glens
of the highlands, reminded our travellers that they might
soon depart in safety. Accordingly, having harnessed their
team, and wrapped their shorn friend in an old blanket, to
compensate him for the loss of his natural covering, they
retraced their way to the road by the last lingering gleams
of the fading twilight, and immediately commenced their
journey at a pace which seemed to indicate a mutual impatience
between horse and owners to bid adieu to this
part of the country with as little delay as possible. Passing
rapidly on and meeting with no molestation, they travelled
till about midnight without stopping; when observing a
field of unharvested corn beside the road, they halted, and
borrowed a quantity of ears sufficient to furnish old Cyclops
with a good supper. Having rested here about an
hour, they again put forward and drove with the same speed
and diligence for the remainder of the night; and such was
their progress in this nocturnal journey, that, as the rising
sun began to gild the tops of the distant mountains, they
entered the great city of New-York, having travelled in
about twelve hours of hazy moonlight nearly forty miles
without but once halting.

 
[1]

A term used for Sturgeon, caught in great plenty near Albany.