University of Virginia Library

18. CHAPTER XVIII.

It will be unnecessary that I should enter into
the details of the game which I had taken it in
hand to play. Of the numerous daily interviews
I had with Mowbray, and others of the outlaws,
I shall say little. Let it suffice that I flattered
myself with having fooled them all to the top of
their bent. Even Bud Halsey, I at length grew
satisfied, had became convinced that I was ready
to thrust out my cold iron, and cry `stand!' to a
true man, whenever he should give the signal.
In this, the probabilities favored me. It was
natural enough that a youth of my age and temper,
situated as I was at the moment, should soon
overcome the scruples of my education, in an
anxiety to feel my freedom once more—nay, that
my principles should very soon become corrupted,
breathing such a rogues' atmosphere, and in daily
contact with some of the choicest specimens of
scoundrelism. I had striven, in playing my part,
not to suffer it to appear that I made the transition
too easily from a rugged honesty to a loose
indifference to all its exactions. On the contrary,
at first, I allowed it to appear that my chief pleasure
was in being once more on horseback. I
next suffered Mowbray to perceive that his conversation
interested me. I laughed heartily at
his jests;—he had no small powers of humor, and

could hit off a ludicrous picture in low life with
the extravagance and felicity of Lover. By little
and little I let myself be led to association with
others, and, finally, to partake in their amusements.
The outlaws were generally great card-players,
and Mowbray himself was an adept.
They had other amusements, some of which
were even of less intellectual character. Quoits,
hurling the bar, and the Indian ball-play, were in
common use, at moments of leisure;—and, for
the indulgence of these amusements, they had
more than one fine amphitheatre, formed by
natural but small prairie spots in the Swamp.
Pistol and rifle shooting, I readily joined in, for
reasons that will be understood. It gave me
practice in the weapons upon which, could I
secure them, it might be that I should have to
depend;—though, when I saw how expert were
the outlaws generally with them, I shuddered at
the idea of encountering them. I have seen them
frequently trim their dog's ears and tails by rifled-pistols,
at ten or twelve paces; and there was
one of them, an Alabamian, by the name of Brewton,
that could, at every shot, hit a half dollar
piece while falling, which he himself had thrown
into the air. I could do nothing like this, but I
could lay my bullet at twelve paces within the
circle of a man's breast, and I did not care, for
such purposes as I had in view, to do better than
that.

In these sports, Bud Halsey now frequently
joined us, and, if you can suppose such a thing as

civility in a bear, then was he civil to me. He
had a sort of rough, condescending pleasantry
about him, when in a good humor, which greatly
increased his popularity with the men, but which,
as it was a seeming condescension, was more
offensive to my pride than had been his insolence
and harshness. But I contrived to keep down
my gorge, and to stomach, in some way, what I
could not easily digest. It was a severe task,
but I toiled faithfully to maintain appearances
suited to the new character I had assumed. I
pleased myself with the hope that I had deceived
him. He evidently looked with satisfaction at
my increasing familiarity with his men, and at
my engaging in practices which, if not in themselves
immoral, are at least very often associated,
among men, with those which are so. I gamed,
and drank, and swore—growing worse, every
day, by little and little, and reconciling myself to
these excesses by a frequent secret reference to
the object which I desired to attain. It was a
gratifying thing to me, as it convinced me of my
successful acting, that Bush Halsey and his
daughter both appeared to take my change of
character seriously to heart. At length, her
frequent sighs changed to expostulations, and it
became a task of greater difficulty than ever to
keep my secret. I could only evade and baffle
scrutiny by putting on an air of levity and recklessness,
which usually had the effect of silencing
the entreaties which I felt that it might be imprudent
to satisfy.

But my change of demeanor and profession,
involved me in one difficulty, extrication from
which was not so easy. Having given a loose on
one occasion, to my new principles, and very deliberately
declared my scorn of the social contract
as it existed in legalized society, in the hearing
of Mowbray, I was confounded by his clapping
me on the shoulder and telling me that a fine
chance was now before me for making a beginning—that
Bud Halsey had received intelligence
of a large sum of government money being on its
way from one of the land-offices, which it was his
design to make sure of, and, for this purpose, meant
to scatter his whole force, in every direction
along the possible route of travel. Bud Halsey
made his appearance suddenly, a moment after,
and confirmed the statement. I fancied I could
detect a keenness of glance, an intense and searching
expression in his eye, as he listened for what
I should say. I did not hesitate. I professed
myself pleased with an occasion to try my skill,
concluding with the hope that the affair might be
a spirited one—that the guardian of the money
would find an occasion of fight.

“If you have the stomach for it,” said Bud
Halsey, “you shall be the first at the gripe. But
you are scarcely the man,” said he, with something
of a sneer, “for such a business. You have
not been long enough from your mother.”

“You shall see!” I replied, though I did not exactly

see the purpose of his sneer, unless it was to
goad my vanity.

The movement promised to be an important
one with me? What did I propose to do? What
did I promise myself by it? It was not until after
I was committed to the enterprise that I asked
myself this question. Then, the whole results
opened before my eyes. What should I aim at
but escape? I should be provided with horse and
weapons—and a sudden dash to right or left
would be only a natural movement such as was
to be expected from the events of such an expedition.
On the other hand, there was the danger
of being suspected, and sped by an expeditious
bullet; or of not being able to carry through my
design of escape from the lack of opportunity, and
of being compelled to countenance, if not assist
in the contemplated robbery. The affair was no
child's play, and it behoved me to consider it with
equal calmness and resolution. I had gone too
far to recede. Besides, the confinement to which
I was subjected had become so irksome that I was
willing to encounter any risk rather than continue
in it. As it promised to be unending otherwise,
I felt that the earliest movement was necessarily
the best. I said nothing of my design, however,
to my wife. I preferred that she should neither
hear nor suspect it, till I was off. Is it asked
whether I proposed to abandon her? Far from
it. I truly loved her,—but I could not bear the
torment of my situation, and my purpose was to

leave a letter for her, declaring my feelings, the
necessity by which I was impelled, and my wish
that she should rejoin me at an early moment in
Alabama. I designated a spot where I would
meet her, and pacified my own doubts with the
conviction that once I had fairly escaped from his
clutches, there could be no motive on the part of
Bud Halsey, to keep his niece from a situation in
life, in which, while he could fear no risk, she
would hold an agreeable and honorable station.
But I did not know the man.