2. II.
But there was one of all that mighty and mixed
multitude, that felt not with the rest — that saw not
with their eyes, nor measured the things he saw
by their understandings. He came with them
from the city, for he dared not remain behind, in
that time of general jubilee; but his voice joined
not with the rest in swelling the clamor of rejoicing.
With slow steps and a sick spirit, he followed
far behind, and his heart grew cold in his
bosom, as he beheld their wild impatience, and witnessed
the headlong fury of their devotion. Their
cries stunned and troubled him, and the big tears
gathered upon his eye-lashes.
“Beautiful, indeed,” murmured Ipsistos to his
own heart, — “beautiful, indeed, is the goddess,
— lovely beyond the loveliness of woman, whom
the keen eye of the builder beheld, where she lay
buried in the bosom of the solid rock, whence his
nice hand and searching instrument of steel, gave
her release. With the fine touch of endowing art
he removed the rude dints of the heavy masses
which had lain so long upon her visage, and
brought back the light into her features, and the
life which belongs only to expression, which had
been banished from them so long. In her temple
have the people raised her, and they behold in her
countenance nothing but perfection. In her they
see the embodied form of the universal and diffusive
truth, and they claim for her the possession of
a perfect beauty. But to me all the sweet conviction,
which makes the heart confident in its hope,
and brings it peace, seems utterly denied. To
me she does not seem the true; neither, though she
is beautiful, can I esteem her the perfect beauty
which so immutable a goddess should be. She
wins not my heart when I behold her, — her charms
gather only upon mine eyes. With reluctant
hand I lay the first fruits upon her altars even as
I am bidden, but she knows that it is only as I am
bidden that I bring them, and though she smiles
upon others, she, methinks, hath a frown only and
ever for me. I pray to her for the blessing, and
she withholds it; yet wherefore should she withhold
it when I pray only to be wise. Alas! I
inquire of these things in vain. The mists gather
more thickly around me, and when my brethren
cry loudest in rejoicing for the light which ascendeth,
then, upon my sight, the darkness falls
more heavily than ever. My soul is sorrowful
within me. The prayer that I make returns upon
me with the bitterness of rejection. Wherefore
should this be so? Wherefore, of all this multitude,
should I, alone, be joyless and voiceless?
My brothers—they come back from the temple,
having the song still upon their lips, and the smile
still in their hearts. My sisters enter with laughter
the dwelling of my father, though poverty sits
upon the hearth, and weeps because of the cold.
The smile of the goddess hath blessed them, until
they forget the withered and wrinkled grandsire
whom they leave famishing at home. Alas! for
me, when I see the burnt offerings and the fruits
upon the altars of the goddess, I think not upon
her worship, but upon his want. Wherefore
should the goddess need as a testimony of our
homage the waste of her own fruits, which had
else cheered the heart and strengthened the limbs
of age and poverty. Wherefore — ah!”
A terrible voice sounded in the ears of the
youth:
“Ipsistos!”
He shivered with terror as he looked up. The
car of the goddess was rolling onwards, and her
eye was fixed upon him with a glance that seemed
to search and freeze his soul. The voice of the
chief priest, a second time, reached his ears in low
accents, unheard by any but the youth.
“Ipsistos! The eye of the goddess is upon
thee. She looks into thy heart. She beholds thy
discontent. Beware!”
The youth sank upon his knees, and clasping
his hands above his head, he bowed his face to the
dust while the car passed onwards.
“Alas!” moaned the stricken youth as the
crowd rolled between him and the priest, “I am
doomed!”
And there he lay prostrate and desponding,
while the elated crowd, forgetting all wretchedness
of their brother, felt only the triumph of that
power which permitted them to kneel!
