University of Virginia Library

12. CHAPTER XII.

I had, for some time past, dwelt upon the prospect of
our being reduced to this last horrible extremity, and
had secretly made up my mind to suffer death in any
shape or under any circumstances rather than resort to
such a course. Nor was this resolution in any degree
weakened by the present intensity of hunger under which
I laboured. The proposition had not been heard by
either Peters or Augustus. I therefore took Parker
aside; and mentally praying to God for power to dissuade
him from the horrible purpose he entertained, I expostulated
with him for a long time and in the most supplicating
manner, begging him in the name of everything
which he held sacred, and urging him by every species
of argument which the extremity of the case suggested,
to abandon the idea, and not to mention it to either of the
other two.

He heard all I said without attempting to controvert
any of my arguments, and I had begun to hope that he
would be prevailed upon to do as I desired. But when
I had ceased speaking, he said that he knew very well
all I had said was true, and that to resort to such a
course was the most horrible alternative which could
enter into the mind of man; but that he had now held
out as long as human nature could be sustained; that it
was unnecessary for all to perish, when, by the death of
one, it was possible, and even probable, that the rest
might be finally preserved; adding that I might save
myself the trouble of trying to turn him from his purpose,
his mind having been thoroughly made up on the subject
even before the appearance of the ship, and that only
her heaving in sight had prevented him from mentioning
his intention at an earlier period.

I now begged him, if he would not be prevailed upon
to abandon his design, at least to defer it for another day,

when some vessel might come to our relief; again reiterating
every argument I could devise, and which I
thought likely to have influence with one of his rough
nature. He said, in reply, that he had not spoken until
the very last possible moment; that he could exist no
longer without sustenance of some kind; and that therefore
in another day his suggestion would be too late, as
regarded himself at least.

Finding that he was not to be moved by anything I
could say in a mild tone, I now assumed a different demeanour,
and told him that he must be aware I had suffered
less than any of us from our calamities; that my
health and strength, consequently, were at that moment
far better than his own, or than that either of Peters or
Augustus; in short, that I was in a condition to have
my own way by force if I found it necessary; and that,
if he attempted in any manner to acquaint the others
with his bloody and cannibal designs, I would not hesitate
to throw him into the sea. Upon this he immediately
seized me by the throat, and drawing a knife, made
several ineffectual efforts to stab me in the stomach; an
atrocity which his excessive debility alone prevented him
from accomplishing. In the mean time, being roused to
a high pitch of anger, I forced him to the vessel's side,
with the full intention of throwing him overboard. He
was saved from this fate, however, by the interference
of Peters, who now approached and separated us, asking
the cause of the disturbance. This Parker told before
I could find means in any manner to prevent him.

The effect of his words was even more terrible than
what I had anticipated. Both Augustus and Peters,
who, it seems, had long secretly entertained the same
fearful idea which Parker had been merely the first to
broach, joined with him in his design, and insisted upon
its being immediately carried into effect. I had calculated
that one at least of the two former would be found
still possessed of sufficient strength of mind to side
with myself in resisting any attempt to execute so dreadful
a purpose; and, with the aid of either one of them,
I had no fear of being able to prevent its accomplishment.

Being disappointed in this expectation, it became
absolutely necessary that I should attend to my own
safety, as a further resistance on my part might possibly
be considered by men in their frightful condition a sufficient
excuse for refusing me fair play in the tragedy that
I knew would speedily be enacted.

I now told them I was willing to submit to the proposal,
merely requesting a delay of about one hour, in
order that the fog which had gathered around us might
have an opportunity of lifting, when it was possible that
the ship we had seen might be again in sight. After
great difficulty I obtained from them a promise to wait
thus long; and, as I had anticipated (a breeze rapidly
coming in), the fog lifted before the hour had expired,
when, no vessel appearing in sight, we prepared to draw
lots.

It is with extreme reluctance that I dwell upon the
appalling scene which ensued; a scene which, with its
minutest details, no after events have been able to efface
in the slightest degree from my memory, and whose
stern recollection will imbitter every future moment of
my existence. Let me run over this portion of my narrative
with as much haste as the nature of the events to
be spoken of will permit. The only method we could
devise for the terrific lottery, in which we were to take
each a chance, was that of drawing straws. Small
splinters of wood were made to answer our purpose, and
it was agreed that I should be the holder. I retired to
one end of the hulk, while my poor companions silently
took up their station in the other with their backs turned
towards me. The bitterest anxiety which I endured at
any period of this fearful drama was while I occupied
myself in the arrangement of the lots. There are few
conditions into which man can possibly fall where he
will not feel a deep interest in the preservation of his
existence; an interest momentarily increasing with the
frailness of the tenure by which that existence may be
held. But now that the silent, definite, and stern nature
of the business in which I was engaged (so different
from the tumultuous dangers of the storm or the gradually

approaching horrors of famine) allowed me to reflect
on the few chances I had of escaping the most appalling
of deaths—a death for the most appalling of purposes—every
particle of that energy which had so long
buoyed me up departed like feathers before the wind,
leaving me a helpless prey to the most abject and pitiable
terror. I could not, at first, even summon up sufficient
strength to tear and fit together the small splinters
of wood, my fingers absolutely refusing their office, and
my knees knocking violently against each other. My
mind ran over rapidly a thousand absurd projects by
which to avoid becoming a partner in the awful speculation.
I thought of falling on my knees to my companions,
and entreating them to let me escape this necessity;
of suddenly rushing upon them, and, by putting one of
them to death, of rendering the decision by lot useless—
in short, of everything but of going through with the matter
I had in hand. At last, after wasting a long time in
this imbecile conduct, I was recalled to my senses by
the voice of Parker, who urged me to relieve them at
once from the terrible anxiety they were enduring.
Even then I could not bring myself to arrange the splinters
upon the spot, but thought over every species of finesse
by which I could trick some one of my fellow-sufferers
to draw the short straw, as it had been agreed
that whoever drew the shortest of four splinters from
my hand was to die for the preservation of the rest.
Before any one condemn me for this apparent heartlessness,
let him be placed in a situation precisely similar to
my own.

At length delay was no longer possible, and, with a
heart almost bursting from my bosom, I advanced to the
region of the forecastle, where my companions were
awaiting me. I held out my hand with the splinters,
and Peters immediately drew. He was free—his, at
least, was not the shortest; and there was now another
chance against my escape. I summoned up all my
strength, and passed the lots to Augustus. He also
drew immediately, and he also was free; and now,
whether I should live or die, the chances were no more

than precisely even. At this moment all the fierceness
of the tiger possessed my bosom, and I felt towards my
poor fellow-creature, Parker, the most intense, the most
diabolical hatred. But the feeling did not last; and, at
length, with a convulsive shudder and closed eyes, I
held out the two remaining splinters towards him. It
was full five minutes before he could summon resolution
to draw, during which period of heartrending suspense
I never once opened my eyes. Presently one of the
two lots was quickly drawn from my hand. The decision
was then over, yet I knew not whether it was for
me or against me. No one spoke, and still I dared not
satisfy myself by looking at the splinter I held. Peters
at length took me by the hand, and I forced myself to look
up, when I immediately saw by the countenance of Parker
that I was safe, and that he it was who had been
doomed to suffer. Gasping for breath, I fell senseless
to the deck.

I recovered from my swoon in time to behold the
consummation of the tragedy in the death of him who
had been chiefly instrumental in bringing it about. He
made no resistance whatever, and was stabbed in the
back by Peters, when he fell instantly dead. I must
not dwell upon the fearful repast which immediately ensued.
Such things may be imagined, but words have
no power to impress the mind with the exquisite horror of
their reality. Let it suffice to say that, having in some
measure appeased the raging thirst which consumed us
by the blood of the victim, and having by common consent
taken off the hands, feet, and head, throwing them,
together with the entrails, into the sea, we devoured the
rest of the body, piecemeal, during the four ever memorable
days of the seventeenth eighteenth, nineteenth, and
twentieth of the month.

On the nineteenth, there coming on a smart shower
which lasted fifteen or twenty minutes, we contrived to
catch some water by means of a sheet which had been
fished up from the cabin by our drag just after the gale.
The quantity we took in all did not amount to more than

half a gallon; but even this scanty allowance supplied
us with comparative strength and hope.

On the twenty-first we were again reduced to the last
necessity. The weather still remained warm and pleasant,
with occasional fogs and light breezes, most usually
from N. to W.

On the twenty-second, as we were sitting close huddled
together, gloomily revolving over our lamentable
condition, there flashed through my mind all at once an
idea which inspired me with a bright gleam of hope. I
remembered that, when the foremast had been cut away,
Peters, being in the windward chains, passed one of the
axes into my hand, requesting me to put it, if possible, in
a place of security, and that a few minutes before the last
heavy sea struck the brig and filled her I had taken this
axe into the forecastle, and laid it in one of the larboard
berths. I now thought it possible that, by getting at
this axe, we might cut through the deck over the storeroom,
and thus readily supply ourselves with provisions.

When I communicated this project to my companions,
they uttered a feeble shout of joy, and we all proceeded
forthwith to the forecastle. The difficulty of descending
here was greater than that of going down in the
cabin, the opening being much smaller, for it will be remembered
that the whole framework about the cabin
companion-hatch had been carried away, whereas the
forecastle-way, being a simple hatch of only about three
feet square, had remained uninjured. I did not hesitate,
however, to attempt the descent; and, a rope being fastened
round my body as before, I plunged boldly in, feet
foremost, made my way quickly to the berth, and, at the
very first attempt, brought up the axe. It was hailed
with the most ecstatic joy and triumph, and the ease
with which it had been obtained was regarded as an omen
of our ultimate preservation.

We now commenced cutting at the deck with all the
energy of rekindled hope, Peters and myself taking the
axe by turns, Augustus's wounded arm not permitting him
to aid us in any degree. As we were still so feeble as to be

scarcely able to stand unsupported, and could consequently
work but a minute or two without resting, it soon became
evident that many long hours would be requisite to accomplish
our task—that is, to cut an opening sufficiently
large to admit of a free access to the storeroom. This
consideration, however, did not discourage us; and,
working all night by the light of the moon, we succeeded
in effecting our purpose by daybreak on the
morning of the twenty-third.

Peters now volunteered to go down; and, having made
all arrangements as before, he descended, and soon returned,
bringing up with him a small jar, which, to our
great joy, proved to be full of olives. Having shared
these among us, and devoured them with the greatest
avidity, we proceeded to let him down again. This time
he succeeded beyond our utmost expectations, returning
instantly with a large ham and a bottle of Madeira wine.
Of the latter we each took a moderate sup, having
learned by experience the pernicious consequences of
indulging too freely. The ham, except about two pounds
near the bone, was not in a condition to be eaten, having
been entirely spoiled by the salt water. The sound part
was divided among us. Peters and Augustus, not being
able to restrain their appetite, swallowed theirs upon the
instant; but I was more cautious, and ate but a small
portion of mine, dreading the thirst which I knew would
ensue. We now rested a while from our labours, which
had been intolerably severe.

By noon, feeling somewhat strengthened and refreshed,
we again renewed our attempt at getting up provision,
Peters and myself going down alternately, and
always with more or less success, until sundown. During
this interval we had the good fortune to bring up,
altogether, four more small jars of olives, another ham,
a carboy containing nearly three gallons of excellent
Cape Madeira wine, and, what gave us still more delight,
a small tortoise of the Gallipago breed, several of which
had been taken on board by Captain Barnard, as the
Grampus was leaving port, from the schooner Mary
Pitts, just returned from a sealing voyage in the Pacific.

In a subsequent portion of this narrative I shall have
frequent occasion to mention this species of tortoise. It
is found principally, as most of my readers may know,
in the group of islands called the Gallipagos, which,
indeed, derive their name from the animal—the Spanish
word Gallipago meaning a fresh-water terapin. From
the peculiarity of their shape and action they have been
sometimes called the elephant tortoise. They are frequently
found of an enormous size. I have myself seen
several which would weigh from twelve to fifteen hundred
pounds, although I do not remember that any navigator
speaks of having seen them weighing more than eight
hundred. Their appearance is singular, and even disgusting.
Their steps are very slow, measured, and
heavy, their bodies being carried about a foot from the
ground. Their neck is long, and exceedingly slender;
from eighteen inches to two feet is a very common
length, and I killed one, where the distance from the
shoulder to the extremity of the head was no less than
three feet ten inches. The head has a striking resemblance
to that of a serpent. They can exist without
food for an almost incredible length of time, instances
having been known where they have been thrown into
the hold of a vessel and lain two years without nourishment
of any kind—being as fat, and, in every respect, in
as good order at the expiration of the time as when they
were first put in. In one particular these extraordinary
animals bear a resemblance to the dromedary, or camel
of the desert. In a bag at the root of the neck they
carry with them a constant supply of water. In some
instances, upon killing them after a full year's deprivation
of all nourishment, as much as three gallons of perfectly
sweet and fresh water have been found in their
bags. Their food is chiefly wild parsley and celery,
with purslain, sea-kelp, and prickly pears, upon which
latter vegetable they thrive wonderfully, a great quantity
of it being usually found on the hillsides near the shore
wherever the animal itself is discovered. They are excellent
and highly nutritious food, and have, no doubt,
been the means of preserving the lives of thousands of

seamen employed in the whale-fishery and other pursuits
in the Pacific.

The one which we had the good fortune to bring up
from the storeroom was not of a large size, weighing
probably sixty-five or seventy pounds. It was a female,
and in excellent condition, being exceedingly fat, and
having more than a quart of limpid and sweet water in
its bag. This was indeed a treasure; and, falling on our
knees with one accord, we returned fervent thanks to God
for so seasonable a relief.

We had great difficulty in getting the animal up
through the opening, as its struggles were fierce and its
strength prodigious. It was upon the point of making
its escape from Peters's grasp, and slipping back into
the water, when Augustus, throwing a rope with a slip-knot
around its throat, held it up in this manner until I
jumped into the hole by the side of Peters, and assisted
him in lifting it out.

The water we drew carefully from the bag into the
jug, which, it will be remembered, had been brought up
before from the cabin. Having done this, we broke off
the neck of a bottle so as to form, with the cork, a kind
of glass, holding not quite half a gill. We then each
drank one of these measures full, and resolved to limit
ourselves to this quantity per day as long as it should
hold out.

During the last two or three days, the weather having
been dry and pleasant, the bedding we had obtained
from the cabin, as well as our clothing, had become thoroughly
dry, so that we passed this night (that of the
twenty-third) in comparative comfort, enjoying a tranquil
repose, after having supped plentifully on olives and ham,
with a small allowance of the wine. Being afraid of
losing some of our stores overboard during the night, in
the event of a breeze springing up, we secured them as
well as possible with cordage to the fragments of the
windlass. Our tortoise, which we were anxious to preserve
alive as long as we could, we threw on his back,
and otherwise carefully fastened.