University of Virginia Library

BALLSTON.

The first view of Ballston, generally has the same
effect upon visiters, that matrimony is said to have upon
young lovers. It is very extraordinary, but the first
impression derived from the opening scene—we mean
of Ballston—is that it is the ugliest, most uninviting
spot in the universe. But this impression soon wears
away, as he daily associates with beautiful damsels, the
lustre of whose unfading, and ineffable charms, as it
were, diffuses itself over the whole face of nature, converting
the muddy swamp into a green meadow, the
muddy brook into a chrystal stream meandering musically

along, the sand hills into swelling, full bosomed
protuberances of nature, and Sans Souci, into the palace
of the fairy Feliciana, where, as every body knows,
people were so happy they did not know what to do
with themselves. We defy any man to be surrounded
by beautiful women, even though it were in utter darkness,
without having his imagination exclusively saturated
with ideas of beauty, let the surrounding objects
be what they may. For as the poet has it—

The localities of Ballston and Saratoga, are ennobled
and illustrated, by this singular influence of beauty;
otherwise, it must be confessed, if they depended only
on their own intrinsic capabilities they would be no way
extraordinary. Yet, to do them justice, they are not
altogether desperate as to pretensions. If the marshes
were only green meadows, dotted with stately elms;
the sand hills richly cultivated with fields of golden
wheat, and stately corn, waving its green ribbons to the
breeze; the muddy brook a pastoral, purling river; the
pine trees stately forests of oak and hickory, and their
stumps were a little more picturesque, neither Ballston
or Saratoga, need be ashamed to show themselves
any day in the week, not excepting Sunday. As it is,
candour itself must admit, that their beauties are altogether
reflected from the ladies' eyes.

Being now arrived at the head quarters, the very focus

and hot bed of elegance, fashion, and refinement, it becomes
us to be more particular in our directions to the
inexperienced traveller, who peradventure hath never
sojourned at a watering place. For this purpose we
have with great pains, and at the expense of a vast deal
of actual observation, collected, digested, and codified a
system of rules and regulations, derived from the best
sources, and sanctioned by the example of people of
the very first tournure, as well as the most finished education:
to wit, brokers of eminence, retired bankrupts
living upon their means, aspiring apprentices, and dandies
of the first pretensions. For the purpose of being
more succinct, clear, and explicit, we have divided our
code into chapters, comprizing a complete set of precepts
for the government of every class of persons,
beginning, however, with a few general rules and standing
directions of universal application.