University of Virginia Library

JULIET TO SARAH, IN THE HAND WRITING OF MR. OMAR.

A few hours more, at furthest, dear Sarah; and I shall
be beyond the reach of sorrow or temptation. I have
been a good deal disturbed, and terrified at the thought;
but, more recent meditation; and two or three strange
events, which these letters will explain, have prepared
me to meet death with cheerfulness. I have no hope
left in life; not one. At first, there was an agony, but it
was soon over, for the loss of my husband. It was that,
which first penetrated my heart---but his own letters,
will show to thee, that, I have reason for consolation.---
Then came the thought of my babe, Sarah---for I am now
a mother---a mother, for a few hours only---and, the—O,
I cannot describe the bitterness of that thought;—but there
was a consolation even for that. My mind is now tranquil,
comparatively, I mean; and more truly resigned,
I am sure, to the bereavement of my life, than it was in
my terrible sickness, summer before last:---one only thing
remained to trouble me. It was that Sarah was not
near me. Had she been---and, had I been blessed with a
daughter, instead of a son, Sarah should have been her

mother. As it is, I can only pray, that, during the peril
of his infancy, she will be near my babe, and bless it.
Canst thou do this, Sarah?---Canst thou, when all is
known? Thou mayest have to share the sweet guardianship,
with one,---I will not name him---thy mortal
hatred for him, that unnatural scorn and bitterness with
which thou hast pursued that man, Sarah, is upon my
breast at this moment, like a malediction. What had
he done to thee, Sarah? What hadst thou known of him,
which was not capable of a charitable interpretation. I
urged him to see thee---to deliver these letters to
thee:—he knows not what they are---and it is well that
he does not---to tell thee, in his deliberate, firm way,
the simple truth of our history, and love----nay, of all
that concerned me. He would have evaded my prayer
---he would have put it off; but, I pressed it upon him,
until he consented, if you ever met, to vindicate himself,
as he would another;---with this reservation alone,
insisted upon, by himself, that, in defending himself, he
should not be called upon to produce any proofs; or to
impeach, in any way, the character of any other person.—
This is his nature, Sarah; he will be believed, on his
bare word, or not at all; and he will sooner perish, in
the hatred and scorn of all the world; than protect himself
by the destruction of others; of them that he loves,
I mean; for, had he the power, he would lay the world
in ashes,---even now,---I know that he would have
done it, once;---if them, that he did not love, should step
with their shadow between him, and his ambition.---
Helen, his wife, my husband, and myself seem to be all
concerned, in the engagement. It is for the purpose of
counteracting the effect, which I anticipate from this
proud, high spirit in him; and bringing my dear Sarah, to
a sense of her injustice, that I have collected, and preserved
these letters; and that I now bequeath them to
her, as my dearest deposite. Read them; and do him
justice---as speedily, I would say, as possible; for the
quiet of thine own spirit; for, it may be, that he, himself,
hath not long to live:---it may be, that, ere that atonement
shall be offered, he will have joined the three beings,
whose very ashes he would keep from dishononr,
and irreverence, at the peril of his own reputation. Two
of them; nay, three, are already where such sentiments
can have little weight or influence with them;---yet a little
while, and a fourth, nay, Sarah---for I have had a
death-bed vision---and my soul wept and prayed to avert
it; but it might not be—a fifth went by me, in her shroud
—I knew her—and I put out my hands, with a shriek,
to welcome her; but she smiled, and faded away, while
the moonlight was shining through her. Farewell, dear
Sarah, farewell, forever. Forever!—O, no, not forever,
dear. A little while, and we shall be weeping upon
each others bosoms—we, and all that we love—remembering
this separation, as a momentary check of the
pulse only—which alarmed us—but, compared with what
time we shall then have spent together, it will be only
for a breath. Why should we weep then?—Farewell!
Heaven bless thee, dear, dear Sarah, forever and ever
Watch thyself continually. Watch and pray!